# 88 The Power of Self Connection | Sebastian Wendeus

0:00 I did all this change and I woke up three years later and I felt totally different, but I didn't feel authentic and I didn't feel at home in myself. intuition that guided me into that company was telling me to, to leave one of the best companies in Sweden and one of the best jobs and do nothing for a while. And if I can leave something that good, That also means that other people could leave whatever they are doing. And that is frightening for people Welcome to the new age human podcast, where we have inspiring conversations with spiritual entrepreneurs in the areas of mindfulness, longevity, and innovative technology. I'm your host, John Astacio, and I'm on a mission to help humanity discover our human potential so we can together create positive change.

0:43 Remember the journey starts within please like, and subscribe wherever you're listening or watching. And with that said, let's get to the show. All right. Today, we're talking with Sebastian Wendeus. This guy is a transformational coach, senior embodiment teacher and business transformation consultant. He is also the founder of Being Man. So if you consider yourself an entrepreneur with high empathy, looking to develop self connection and self leadership, You're not going to want to miss today's show. Sebastian, welcome to the show. Thanks for coming on, man. Thank you so much. Happy to be here. Yeah.

1:24 It's, uh, it's funny because we had a conversation about like a week or two ago. And, um, you had an amazing story. And I'm like, this, this guy has been on a journey. And I love hearing about journeys and, um, you have an interesting business. You're helping a lot of people and I would love for you to share your transformational journey of searching within. And this way we can lead into unpacking that. Do you mind sharing your story? Of course. Of course. Yeah. Thank you. It's been a while. It's been a journey. So yeah, the journey started 20 years ago.

2:05 So when I was 16 years old and I had this overactive thinking mind that just kept getting more and more out of control every week. I just knew I couldn't go in that direction. I knew I couldn't live like that. Uh, and I had this, uh, intuition that somehow I should be able to find a way to be comfortable in my own skin and easeful in my own being. But I knew I didn't, I didn't have it. So, and I looked at my parents, I was like, I don't think they have it. I looked at my teachers in school and I was like, they don't have it. where do I, how do I find the path? And I went to some internet forums, I found the whole world of personal development and self help.

2:48 And that was my first First gateway drag into this journey. And I got obsessed with like the Tony Robbins and the NLP and a lot of the mind being based tools and, uh, changed myself totally over the next three years, you know, working on my self image, my goals, my beliefs, all of it just kept chipping away and changing and changing because I wasn't comfortable with who I was and how my, how I was thinking. Uh, I, you know, I did all this change and I woke up three years later and I felt totally different, but I didn't feel authentic and I didn't feel at home in myself.

3:28 I just felt like a clone of Tony Robbins. And, you know, I just taking on like his beliefs and society's expectations of who I thought I should be. And I was like, damn, like, this is, is not me. I thought I was on the highway to everything there is in life, but I realized I was totally lost again. Uh, which was quite painful at the moment. Uh, I got one really good insight out of that though. Like, you know, first of all, those tools are powerful and used correctly. They can be really beneficial, on their own, they don't make the whole journey home to yourself. But then I also had a really interesting insight when I was just started out because I was changing all my thoughts thought, wow, okay, but who is.

4:13 is the part of me that is looking at and changing all my thought patterns? There's got to be more to me than just my thoughts. like, oh yeah, there's got to be a way out of my mind because there's got to be more to me than just my thinking mind. And that was kind of like my first spiritual glimpse. That's interesting. Um, well, do you remember the trigger that got you to think that there's gotta be more than my thoughts, It was just, it was just an epiphany, right? I was just mixturing with my own thoughts. And you know, they're in NLP. There's all these techniques for like working with memories, with self, uh, images and beliefs.

4:55 And you can do certain things to change them and install new ones. And I was like, okay, but there's a part of me that is installing the new one. So I cannot be the new one. Like it's just something I'm installing. right? that's cool. Yeah, that's definitely trippy. ha ha. ha. No, I agree. So, so you're, you're on this journey and you're like, I'm more than my thoughts because I'm pro I am programming, but who, who am I? That's interesting. Yeah. I mean, I've had the same, you know, thoughts for sure. Right. You're, you're the facsimile of, or like a shadow of the gurus that Had their own journeys and they're sharing what works for them.

5:38 But now you're working on what works for you. So go ahead. I'm so I just had to throw that in there. It's, it's pretty cool to watch this or at least listen to this happen to you. amazing. Yeah, so then, you know, being kind of lost again and realizing that trying to change my thinking mind and push it down in my body and all my systems didn't work. I started to study psychology. I heard about mindfulness, and I read in a book, it was just a sentence, but it said something about happiness and flow and mindfulness. Yeah. I was like, happiness and flow sounds about right. That's kind of what I'm looking for. Like, what the fuck is mindfulness? I had never heard about it, like, you know, 17 years ago or something, uh, took an audio program with John Kabat Zinn, the American mindfulness teacher, and had a really, really profound experience just three weeks in where I just time and space dissolved.

6:33 And I just felt fully at home in myself. And I was like, wow, there is such a thing as this easeful being in myself. uh, it felt so good. And as I was having that experience, and I don't remember if that lasted for two minutes or two days. I have no idea. But, I was like, okay, I'm not really ready to live like this yet. This is just a glimpse. And the experience disappeared a few days later and I got harder and harder to get back to it. I got obsessed with meditation because that is what brought me that experience. So I went to all the vipassana retreats I started to basically do eight hours of meditations a day home in my own apartment in Gothenburg.

7:22 Because I thought it's only a two or three weeks away until I uncover that experience again. But those two or three weeks turned into two and a half years of eight hours of meditations a day. That is insane. Okay. Yep. So 24. And, uh, it really helped me still, still in change my overactive thinking mind. Uh, but still even coming out of, on the other side of that feeling like more at ease and more in a tune. I was still lacking that felt sense of like, just, or knowing who I am or feeling like my own power or my own authenticity.

8:03 I still feel blocked in so many ways. eight, hold on eight hour day meditations for two years. So you are meditating as a full time job, literally. Yeah, basically I went to, I went to university and took some easy courses so that I can get the study loan so that I can keep on doing my meditation. I was going to say like, when do you, like do you eat in between those eight hours? Like do you meditate during your eating? Cause traditionally, or what most people, especially on the, um, in the Western world, it's you're sitting down legs folded and you're just not doing anything.

8:50 So I'm just curious during those eight hours, were you actively like being An active meditation where like you're eating, but that's still considered meditation because where your mindset is, I'm curious, like what was going on during those eight hours? It's been a long time. I think I usually shunked it up in two hours slots. Oh, okay. two hours, either sitting or lying down. So it could be body scans, it could be focusing on my breathing, there could be hardscape meditations. Okay. know, took a break and had food and went for a walk or did some school, like, study work or whatever, and then had another chunk, but, yeah. Now, now I'm digesting it.

9:31 Uh huh. Yeah. Okay. For any, Yeah. For anybody that's thinking that, man. better ways, but Yeah. were the tools I had. It's wild. Right. Right. and I was so hungry for, for this experience that I just kept on shipping away with the tools I had at the time. Interesting. And so even eight hours a day, you still had some blockages. Something was. Like you said, right? You had some blockages, like just something was missing still, correct? Yeah, let me come back to that because that is really a big part of like understanding those blockages, but I didn't have access to what that was at that time.

10:13 But after those years, I came out of 24, 24, 25 and, uh, quite good. I felt good in myself. I felt, you know, my mind was pretty much at ease. And I was like, okay, let's, cause I'm an explorer at heart and an adventurer. I was like, okay, let's, let's see what I can build in this external world. So business lifestyle and all of that, and went into the business world in a very entrepreneurial company in Sweden ended up in a key position of building what is now one of the leading consulting firms in the European Union. And, I was on a very exponential journey with that company and I was doing merger and acquisitions.

10:53 I was buying companies of consultants and transforming that whole organization and businesses. And I had a lifestyle, you know, I spent a lot of money on dating coaches to understand women because I had some some holes in my understanding that I needed to learn and built a lifestyle that was global. And I just built this external, amazing, really amazing life. Wow. Mm. Mm. I had, you know, literally one of the best jobs in Sweden. I was 1 percent income earners. I was traveling the world, dating amazing women and I enjoyed it.

11:34 It's not one of those stories where I was like, Oh, and I was empty inside. Like, no, I really enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed the adventure of building it. Uh, and yet still I was sitting there at 30 and I was like, can't be it. Like there's still something missing. Like it doesn't taste as sweet as it should taste. Um, about that time, I would say that's where my real journey started. I just met summer at 30. I just met my, one of my main teachers for the first time. I name is Judith Blackstone, and she's the of the Realization Process, which is this, modality of guided practices for cultivating deep internal connection with yourself throughout your whole body.

12:26 And, um, and, uh, yeah, I'd been, I'd spent five days with her in the U. S. in a workshop, and I remember in that workshop I was after it that I had finally found a teacher and a modality that could guide me all the way home to myself and explain why I wasn't already, why I haven't been able to uncover that experience for so many years of trying. Interesting. yeah, So that was it for you. That was it. You like, you landed. So it was, it was sweet tasting.

13:08 It was just the experience I had been looking for and it was just a new experience because I never knew what it would really look and feel like. Um, yeah, I for sure had that deep intuition sitting with her and experiencing her practices. came back, you know, after the summer break to work, after the vacation, and I just couldn't do any work. I just couldn't do what I used to be doing. I was like, wow, my head was just hurting. And, uh, yeah, I forced myself into it for a few months and then I was like, no, this is it. Like it's time to leave. Wow. intuition that guided me into that company was telling me to, to leave one of the best companies in Sweden and one of the best jobs and do nothing for a while.

13:51 Like just see what happens when I leave and make space for something new. So wait, you left that job without a plan or, or you left, or was it that you left the job Open for a new plan. Like you didn't leave it for another one. Like that, that was your income and you were doing fantastic financially. Very interesting. Right. Yeah. That process, what did your boss say? Like what, what was that conversation? Like, Yeah, it was very hard for, uh, people to understand because everybody assumed that something bad had happened yeah, like, how could you, how could you not, you know, why are you leaving?

14:39 And I was, my plan was to take six months to a year off and, and live on, saved money and, uh, you know, see what comes up next. I knew that if I would choose my next thing right away, I would be something similar. And I wanted to get like the 3d 360 view of like, what can I, where can I go from here? Just because I became good at this doesn't mean that that is what I should be doing the rest of my life. And, uh, yeah, it was really hard. Of course, um, the CEO and the company tried to make me stay or offer me different ways of, you know, being, staying in the company. And yeah, it was mostly triggering for most of the other people who knew me because they were like, okay, are you something bad happened?

15:24 No, not really. Uh, are you starting your own company? Like, are you, are you going to like a better job? I was like, no, I don't know. Maybe like, I don't know. they just, it just irritated them. I actually, after saying that for a few times, I changed my way because people got so frustrated because I think partly it was because I had something that many, many people strive to and I choose to leave it. And if I can leave something that good, That also means that other people could leave whatever they are doing. And that is frightening for people. That, that's like, wow, I could be, maybe I should think about what I want to do.

16:05 So after, you know, saying it for a few times, I was just like, yeah, I might, I will probably move abroad or start my own company. I was like, oh, okay, I don't want to move abroad and I don't want to start my own company. Okay, I don't have to think about this more. Good for you. Good luck. yeah, that's interesting. You're like, all right, I got to come up with a story just because they keep. And did family do the same thing? I can only imagine. I mean, I've taken quite extreme journeys already. So they were like, Oh, okay, cool. Like, yeah, you know, I'm such, I'm on such a different journey than my family. Like they were like, okay, like I guess you figure it out. So you've, you've taken so many chances and done okay that they're just like, Go for it.

16:52 You know, he, he's going to do that thing again, go for it, which is, and and, um, I do want to point out that, um, like you said, there's a lot of people that we get the same story or we get told. Uh, the same path, right? Just when you go to school and then you, uh, take a, uh, like a college course or even, uh, just a technical something and the education continues into a landing point for a job. Very few times you do hear like, go and find yourself. Usually that journey is like high school or during school.

17:33 Like, like it's not part of the, uh, the, the family journey, unfortunately. Right. It's one of those things where you have to do it on your own. And, um, you found like the dream job. And, uh, there's so many people out there, right. That are like, Oh, one, one of these days I'm going to land that dream job, or I'm going to turn this into the dream job. And then to hear a story like you are saying, I said, peace. I said, I'm out. I'm done. And I didn't really have a reason why that I can share easily, which means that easily, whatever you're experienced and that we're going to go deeper into on today's, um, conversation was much huge, huge, much bigger than what you were dealing with, which is like what a lot of social media shows, like the goals and what you saw was like beyond that, like there's way beyond.

18:33 So, um, Let's get into what you found and how does that work? I think something that might resonate with your with your audience is that Through all the meditation I did, I did learn to cultivate a very deep inward listening. So ever since I've been following and I started in different, you know, levels of trusting it and see if it actually worked. But this deep, you can call it intuition or inward listening or just following resonance. And that is what guided me into this company. And it was an interesting story for another time of how I got into that company in the first place.

19:15 Because it wasn't just a straight path in there. And then that's also and then, of course, making this super career. And then that same resonance disappeared. It was no longer with the company. It was leading me somewhere else. And I just knew that that is the resonance that is giving me pretty much everything I have in my life following that. And for me, I trust that more than any Excel spreadsheets of how much money I can make or, you know, so that is what led me, guided me out of there. Yeah. And then, of course, what happened is I found this work, I found this teacher, some really skilled mentors and therapists, and I started to lay a really big foundation of deeper and deeper self connection, real self connection with myself, and understanding what self connection really is, or uncovering our true self and living from our core.

20:06 And were all these concepts to me before I was guided into the actual experience of it. And of why most of us are not having those experiences I learned is because of the protective strategies and holding patterns that we create our childhoods to protect ourselves, to be safe, to be seen, to be loved. And it turned out for me that I had a very traumatic childhood that I had suppressed. So up until especially up until five, six years of age. I had a lot of horrible things happening to me.

20:46 And, uh, those were things that were not safe to tell anybody. So because it wasn't safe to tell anybody about them, it wasn't safe for me to know them because I might slip. So the safest thing for that brilliant mind at five years old was to suppress them and lock them down into my body and not have access to it. And this came up to me, you know, four or five years ago, in, in deep therapy work and you know, my childhood memories start to come back and through this embodiment work and working with these patterns that I had in my, in my body that was blocking me from experiencing myself and finding myself more deeply.

21:28 And, uh, that was, uh, you know, the real journey, the real healing journey was uncovering these things and finding the memories and saving all those young boys. So basically I've taken the whole trauma, you know, what is it called trauma menu from very, very small things to, to very, very big things and, uh, learning how to heal from, from all of them It's interesting. Um, you, you're right. Your mind kept it from you and correct me if I'm wrong. It kept it from you. Those childhood traumas, your entire life until you finally were able to uncover it.

22:10 Do you think or believe that it was those traumas that was below the surface? That was trying to get out. And that was what a lot of your journey was about was like something about this, like doesn't fit because it's related to those traumas. for sure. No, for sure that I'm, I'm, I'm 100 percent sure now that, that when I was 16 and, you know, late puberty and becoming a man and things were blocked off in strange way in my body, system was not functioning as it should. And there was so much suppressed fear and anxiety. of course I didn't know why, so it was just a mindfuck.

22:53 Because I didn't have access to the source of their symptoms. And I was trying to deal with these symptoms in so many different ways. So yeah, that is for sure what started the whole Wow. And I'm like, there's so many ways we can go about this. Um, so, uh, so we're at the point in the story where you uncovered your childhood traumas. And it sounds like from the age of like 5 to 16, there was just like piles and piles and piles. Do you see, um, the, your clients, do you see that as a theme?

23:37 Like, what do you, what are you, what are you, you seeing in your clients? Are you attracting similar people that had a similar background? Like, I'm curious what you're seeing as you're helping people with their transformations. So not really, uh, in the sense that if people are coming and uncovering like really big traumas, they don't, I'm not the guy, I'm not a skilled therapist, I'm not a trained therapist. So, uh, even though I've been through that journey and some people choose to work with me, both men and women alongside a therapist, that's not really what I'm doing. But the interesting thing is that I work with people who have high empathy or high sensitivity. That might be, you know, just using different words to describe the same thing.

24:21 sometimes people say, what do you mean by that? And the way I look at it is it's people who have the capacity or not even the capacity, they take in a lot of information and often a lot of social information. So if they go into a room, able to read the moods, like what's really going on behind, you know, behind the, under the surface. And, uh, And very, very sensitive to these things, which can be a superpower, especially like in social business and but it can also be overwhelming because there's so much information coming in and being processed and you don't know how to turn it off. So, and if you are sensitive like that, when you grow up as a sensitive child, the world is different than you live in a different world than somebody who, who's not that sensitive.

25:13 Because you pick up more cues and things that doesn't seem that let's say your parents have had a fight and they're trying to hide it. if you're very sensitive to those kinds of things, it's obvious to you that your parents are fighting. as a child, you'd be like, Oh, maybe they're getting a divorce. Maybe this has to do with me. So you get all those, all of the effects of knowing. And if you have a brother who's not, or a sister, who's not that sensitive, they're like, Oh, everything is good. So there's nothing to, for them to protect themselves from. So a lot of people with that high sensitivity do like more and deeper protective patterns in their childhoods. It doesn't have to be big trauma. It can be very, very small things like not feeling safe at schools, in the school, you know, seeing somebody.

25:59 If you're a man, for example, seeing another man abuse his power and deciding like, I'm never going to be a man like that. by that choosing unconsciously, but squeezing your own power and not have access to your own power to protect yourself from becoming a man like that. so many creative ways we constrict ourselves. And I think we all have that as human beings. It's just a part of being a human being and growing up in this world. but highly sensitive and highly empathetic people have more of that. the people I attract, uh, have. They're often entrepreneurial. They are highly sensitive and they have found a way to use this high sensitivity to their advantage.

26:43 So they often, you know, in positions of or, uh, you know, they have companies or they're successful in the business world or like in a career or they know that they can be, and there's still something nagging them that like they, they are still longing for that same thing that I was longing for feeling more at ease internally. feeling, uh, and being kinder to themselves and feeling just, you know, more stable. Yeah, I can totally relate. Totally. I consider myself one of those people, right? Um, and I see it as, from my experience, overworking and over processing and over analyzing, just because of your childhood of feeling the need to do so.

27:35 Right? My parents divorced when I was like, I think, three. Mm. so I have very, very young memories of being two, three. And it's, it's a different world. Completely different world. And then to see siblings, um, you know, half brothers and sisters, be completely different, or experience a different, Childhood, you get to see the difference of mindset and and then when you connect with other people, you do find out that people that are similar to you with the over processing and many times, like you said, uh, have found success and went on the entrepreneurial route because I mean, it doesn't take too much processing to realize that, um you know, having your own business brings more freedom and more income potential, right?

28:33 So it totally makes sense why someone would do that. And uh, yeah, so I, I do, I do feel what you're, what you're talking about. And then at the same time, it's interesting you, that's your tribe. You went through the process, you found the solution that works for you because of your journey and what you were experiencing. And now you're attracting people that are literally going through the same process. So it's really cool where it's like, you know, you're living the journey. You, you slay the dragon, so to speak. And now you're literally just helping people slay their own dragons, which is really, really cool. So, It is really cool. I mean, that is the lotus flower of all that mud, right?

29:15 Coming out of it, being able to, to bring all these tools back to people who might not, you know, Had to go where I have gone to find all the tools and it might not have the, you know, because of the traumas I had to go so deep to find and see what really works. And most of the people I attract don't, we all have trauma and we all have shallow experiences that have shaped us. because I've gone so deep, I've been through most of the layers. And then even if people don't have to go as deep, I can help them where they are. And that's really helpful for them to know as well. And, Oh yeah, again, sorry.

29:56 no, I was just going to go a little bit into where I'm, what I'm doing now, but I'll, I'll, I'll hand it back to you to lead where we go next. I'm literally, we're on the same flow. I'm like, okay, so. How are you helping people right now with that? Like what you were talking about tools, right? So, uh, let's get into some of those tools. I'm curious what tools you're using to help people and then anybody listening, what tools can they use right now? Yeah. So the tools, my, my view on personal transformations and the journey home to yourself is that everybody needs to find their own toolbox. So we are all, I'm no absolutist about any tools.

30:39 There's so many good tools. I put it. PowerPoint slide or canvas slide together the other day with like 30 great tools and there's probably 300. And so I think it's the most important thing is for people to find their own tools that work for them where they are right now, because sequence matter, what you need now might be different than what you need two years from now. Uh, but that said, there are a few tools that I, I wouldn't trade for anything because I needed them. They were crucial for my own journey. And one of them is this, what I call true embodiment. And that is different than body awareness, which a lot of mindfulness practices teaches, like body scans, where we tend to often, if we pay attention, are mostly in the head, kind of like looking down or feeling down into the body.

31:28 And this embodiment, the true embodiment that I call it, that I based off the realization process, so this modality that Judith Blackstone taught me. This amazing American spiritual teacher has developed over 45 years and refined. Um, that is like, was the thing that I could not have done my journey without. So I really recommend her work. I ended up becoming a senior teacher because I took so many trainings and went so deep in that work for six years. So, uh, I teach it, I use it in my, in my work. And, uh, but that is a, for sure, a cornerstone of the. Uh, one of the modalities I recommend, Okay, and um, is there, can you give us a little bit of an insight of that experience of using that modality that you, that you would teach?

32:19 I could, the thing with it is that it's depending on how much time you want to spend on it, right? Because it's experiential, so it's all about uncovering an experience in yourself of who you, so your true, the experience of being your true self. And it's an actual tangible experience that is stable, that we can rest in. So if we do this work for a while. We actually transform the way we like our self identity. We go from thinking about who we are and holding on to thoughts. I am a teacher. I'm a podcaster. I am a entrepreneur to uncovering the experience of who we are saying, I know who I am because I experienced who I am in this moment.

33:07 And that shift, you know, you have to do the practices. I can give you a super quick four minute taste of the embodiment versus awareness, uh, or maybe that's for another podcast or, or a free workshop or something, but What does the uh, four minute entail? Is it a meditation? Is it uh, what is that? I mean, hmm, of like just entering into the hands instead of being aware of the hands. I think since we got there, I think we should go for it. I'm down. Alright, let's do it quickly. okay, so for anybody listening, make sure you're not driving or doing anything where you need to pay attention.

33:53 And, uh, you can just sit somewhere where you're comfortable and safe with your eyes closed, your back straight, feet on the floor helps. And you just put your, your hands on your lap. And just landing here, you can become aware of your hands. And you might notice the temperature, you might notice the air, you might notice some tingling, you might notice the contact between your hands and your legs.

34:36 And you might notice that you're mostly in your head, in your mind, kind of like looking down, finding your hands down there. So now, enter into your hands, Feel that you are present and alive within your hands. And it feels like you have a pair of gloves on your hands that perfectly fit your hands. And you're filling out those gloves with yourself.

35:17 All the way up to the fingertips. So you're not just aware of your hands. that you are that internal space. of your hands. And you might or might not have a difference today. But with some practice, you will notice a difference between this kind of embodiment and awareness from the mind. And it's a very, very important difference in order to uncover this experience of wholeness within ourselves and also this experience of oneness with other people and with life.

36:08 So you can let go of this practice. You know, the, the intro practice, the real one is 25 minutes, but you can sit for a few moments and come out of this practice when you're ready. Well, that was interesting. Do you notice a difference? Um, I noticed that my perspective is confused right now because I'm like, I gotta, I gotta speak into the mic. Um, but it's almost like my hands are like my ears because my perspective went from looking down to being between my hands.

36:55 And so I'm like, what is it? What is it like to be a hand? You know? Like, is my arm my pinky? And the other arm my thumb? You know? And so like just being, I guess, what, what my thing was, I was like, where's my perspective? And I felt a little bit of tingling because that's where your focus is. Right. Um, but that's definitely like one of those, like, it definitely changes your perspective for sure. For sure. Interesting. So it sounds like that, um, a lot of, um, that work is either being your hands and being different parts of your body, like some days you could be being, it's not about being your hand.

37:46 It's just about, we actually, we do that through the whole body and we Mm hmm. this, like it helps us cultivate deeper self connection throughout the whole body. And then what happens, interestingly, is when we have cultivated enough self connection, doesn't have to be perfect, but enough self connection within our whole body, uh, this experience of wholeness that all the spiritual traditions speaks about, spontaneously arises. thing that I've been looking for for 15 years, when I reached enough self connection internally throughout the whole body, spontaneously arising. And I experienced myself and the world differently. hmm. Mm hmm. And it's the most obvious things thing when you feel it, but it's an experience.

38:29 And before you have tasted the experience, it's like trying to explain what chocolate tastes like for somebody who never tasted chocolate. Yeah. it. And that, that's a hard one. Yeah. the analogy that, that came up for me and tell me if I'm wrong is, um, let's say a lot of people hopefully have had an experience driving a car or owning a car, a vehicle. And um, after a while things fall apart. You have the, uh, the, the, the check engine light that pops on or the oil or something's blinking.

39:11 And, um, let's say that could be something that happened to you. And, uh, sometimes we turn up the volume because you hear like this weird noise and it's probably something you need to fix. And so you turn up the volume on the radio so you don't have to deal with it. And, um, maybe you find a way to turn off that check engine light, even though you didn't. literally check the engine, you just turned off the light and we just go on with our lives with loud music and finding really good ways to turn off those lights or find noises to cover the internal noises. And when you reconnect to your body, uh, the check engine lights become louder and the noises become louder because you turned off the music and you started to really work on not ignoring those lights and finding different ways to do it, which would be like external bandages, right?

40:11 You just throw a bandaid on. It's a fancy bandaid. It was expensive. And I, you know, I, I left my hometown just to get that one bandaid. Um, is that a decent analogy as far as like Yeah. journey? I think it speaks to the other side of that coin of the embodiment, because what happens is that we. As we mentioned before, we all have these protective patterns. And as we start to cultivate with these guided practices that are, you know, between 10 and 30 minutes long, we start to cultivate this deeper self connection throughout the body. We also start to notice where we have no connection or where it feels constricted or where we hold tension.

40:52 We might be like, oh, I can't find my midsection. I just can't find it. That's bad. Uh, and, uh, you know, and that's how it is for all of us when we start this work because we have constricted in different ways. But as we are doing this work, first of all, some of those protective patterns go away. They actually dissolve and we can feel ourselves more deeply. And then where we hold firm constrictions, we can actually work with some release techniques with our own mind, finding these constrictions in the body, and maybe with a skilled therapist if needed to unwind these protective patterns. when we open them up, it gives us access. Let's say we've been constricting in our voice, for example.

41:34 we can actually work on both inhabiting, you know, this area, but also where we're holding back and access the memory of why we started to hold back our voice. And when that opens, when we open up at one place in our body, it actually cultivates a deeper embodiment through the whole body. And that becomes like a journey, because then we have even more. inward connection and then the next thing can come up that wants to be looked at and released And that becomes like a healing and deepening, journey in its own Together with other modalities and there's so many things that can help us. But if speaking from this perspective Yeah.

42:16 And yeah, I see a lot of it is, first finding what is needed and then figure out how to handle it and how to figure like how to deal with it. And sometimes, like you said, it dissolves. Sometimes it requires more work, but shedding a light on it is like the biggest thing because you can go through your entire life having no idea what's nagging at you. And I, I appreciate the work that you're doing. I know a lot of people need it for obvious reasons. And, um, Now is the time to really hone in on that type of work because it's needed. I would say, in my opinion, now more than ever for sure.

42:59 Um, I do want to get into, you did mention that you are working on some new projects and I want to give you some time to, to share that, especially if someone wants to connect with you and wants to know what's next for you. Amazing. Thank you. So, you know, I already mentioned the kind of people I attract, the entrepreneurial, highly empathetic, often quite successful people already, men and women, uh, in my one on one work. when it comes to what I'm building, I've, you know, I've had this project came to me five years ago called like the name came to me. It's being man being it's a being man. com.

43:39 And it came to me because I've been thinking for many years, like, what does it mean to be a man or even a masculine man in this modern world? I had read all the David Tieta books, I read so much about the masculine and the feminine, and in my mind, I thought I could debate anybody about what it means, the right way of being a man, the right archetype to be. But in my experience, it never felt true. It always felt hollow. So, after I got, went deeper with the embodiment work and, and that changed my perspective and I understood that there's no such thing as a right way of being a man. Uh, but there is like processes and teachings and modalities that can help all of us, for women of course as well, but right now I'm focusing on men, to uncover our own true nature, come into our own core, and be a man.

44:30 So in being man, it's the empathies is on being of uncovering that beingness the man part mostly takes care of itself when we uncover and open up all of our abilities and who we are. I basically take in everything I've learned in the last 20 years and put them into programs and retreats for, for these kind of men. I'm doing a six month school program that is, you know, I'm starting a new cohort every three months or so. It's been fantastic, uh, going on a transformational journey through 12 workshops, you know, through six months. So that's my main focus when it comes to my work, like bringing being man more deeply into the world.

45:15 And, uh, but also in my one on one work, working with anyone who resonates and on this kind of journey. Nice. And that's, that's a, that's a journey. Six months. Let's go. That is a journey for sure. Yeah, and I like how you know who you're attracting, right? Um, and you're catering to that vibe, to that tribe. And um, and also how, like you said, and you mentioned it before, how it's, yes, it's focused mostly on men, but you do work with women as well. Um, and like how you're not saying, you know what, forget you like, Hey, you know, if you need it and if you're attracted to my work, then let's go.

45:55 And I like that because, um, everybody has a different journey and you never know what's going to work for you until you go for it. Um, yeah, working with women. I mean, if I would, if I would make a business decision solely, you know, because women are further along than men, I would say right now, and women are already on to this. And I think, I think that is why this project wants to come through, because there's a need for, for men. And I really want to create a platform where men who are ready to do this work, can feel included and feel safe to step into it. And for many men, whatever reason, it's easier to do this work when it's in a community of other men, seeing that other men are doing it and might even be taught by a man.

46:39 So that is, you know, it's, it's not about excluding women. It's about including men into this work. That's my, my premise. no, and that, that makes a hundred percent sense. And thank you for clarifying that. Um, so with that said, Yeah. Anybody who's interested in learning a little bit more about being man and wanting to connect with Sebastian, um, all the information will be in the show notes, but if you're listening right now, you want to know right now, right now, uh, Sebastian, what's the best way to contact with you? Yeah, so I say it two ways. If you're a man and you're drawn to this, go to beingman. com. There's all the information. You can send out a book of free exploration call or just send me a note.

47:24 Or you can find me on Instagram. It's Sebastian Vendius in one word. And you can just follow me and send me a DM and we'll take it from there. All right. Sounds good. You heard the man. Um, thank you for coming on the show, man. I really appreciate you. Yeah. I enjoyed the journey. thank you for having me on,