Bad Boss? How to use to your advantage

DDI, an American research company, found that 57% of people have quit a job because of their manager. There's a saying that people leave managers and not companies, and it's true, working for a manager that is horrible can be a painful and dare I say a torturous experience that could be bad for your mental health and your well-being. But the question is, what if this bad manager could just turn out to be the very thing you need to push you to the next level? In this session, I share why you should think twice before quitting a job. Stay tuned and look forward to speaking to join you then. Welcome to the You Unleash Podcast with Female Kemi, the podcast where we explore how to unleash your potential in the workplace, your hustle, and life in general with practical steps. Sometimes I use stories from my past, and trust me, I have got some stories for you. And sometimes I'll just say stuff I've learned, and other times we get people who know a lot more than I do and you do to come into the studio and chop it all up. You know what I usually say by now, I become a believer that done is better than perfect. So whatever it is you're doing, whatever it is you plan to do, just start. I tell you, just start. Don't worry about perfection, and you get better as you go along. Anyway, with that said, as usual, I encourage you to share this podcast with your friends, family, and if possible, leave some feedback on our on the um upper podcast or wherever it is you you get these podcasts. With that said, let's get right into it. DDI, an American research company, found that 57% of people have quit a job because of their manager. I'll say that again: 57% of people have quit a job because of their manager. That's more than one in two people. 43% had quit one job because of their manager, and 14% had actually quit multiple jobs because of their manager. There's a saying that people leave managers and not companies, and it's true. You never leave a company just because of the company, it's usually because of your relationship with your manager. Working for a manager that is horrible can be a painful and dare I say, a torturous experience. It literally can affect your mental health. But what if this bad manager could just turn out to be the very thing you need to push you to the next level? Wait, hear me out. It is true. You could have a bad manager that could actually take you to the next level. A few years ago, I started a role for a company with a very interesting cult um culture. It was a culture where there was no trust, so we all treated we were all treated like children with lots of people spying on each other, and we were watched every minute of the day. Now, the team I worked for, and the manager of that team was going to be leaving the company, and there was going to be someone else come to take over. Now, the person who was taking over, the general gist we got from everyone was that he was someone who would come in and it would push us hard. There'll be no time for people who were not up to the job, and they expected you to meet his standard. If you didn't meet his standard, you were out. He had it also had this interesting method as well of having a hot seat next to him. Now, the whole point of the hot seat was that you would sit next to him for about two weeks and he would observe how you worked, and if you weren't good enough, you get the sack. Now, I have to say, in the beginning, it was tough to work for this person. I've never worked with anyone so intense. No matter how early I made it in into the office, he was in. He was very intelligent, he was very hardworking, and I must say, the fact that he was younger than me made it even more incredible and difficult for me at the time. He always was ahead of everyone else. But there was a flip side to this guy being so good at his job, he demanded a lot. He expected work to be done in a short time, and if he didn't deliver, he would come down hard on you, and I mean really hard. He would scream at you sometimes. The whole team was stressed, everybody in that team was stressed, and people started to disappear. And when I say disappear, they started quitting and they were made for um redundant or sacked. In summary, as a team, we just thought this guy is really intelligent, but we hated working for him, and we're all looking for new jobs already within a few weeks of working for him. At the same time as this, though, an interesting thing started to happen. The more we worked with him, and the more I worked with him, I found that I became faster at my job. The more time I spent thinking over projects with him, I realized I got better. I started to think at a deeper level, I started to think like him, and I started to enjoy working with him. If I must say, and you know the saying, iron sharpened iron. I still felt tired, but nobody could deny, and nobody in the team could deny as well, that we were a much better team than before he joined the team. Now, in the end, he moved on to another team and he left us, and we got another manager who we could say was a bit slower and more accommodating to us. But we all look back and realize we've never been pushed like that guy pushed us, but as well, because of him, we became better at our job. Now, why do I tell this personal story of mine about where I almost quit? And it comes back to that percentage I shared at the beginning. 57% of people who leave their jobs leave because of their managers. And I agree, there can be some truly horrible managers out there, and if you have a truly horrible manager that is bad for your mental health and making you stressed and is not good, I would not encourage you to stay. But could you think about hanging around just long enough for them to have an impact on you if that manager is good at their job? The point I'm trying to make here is before you make a big decision of moving on or deciding you hate your manager and you need to leave, it's always important to reflect properly to understand why you don't like the manager or the person you're working with. And and it's true, we probably should broaden this out. It's not just about managers, it's about people you work with. You could work with someone you don't like, but they might be good at their job. The reality is a lot of us have never worked for a high performer, we've never worked for someone that is just so good at their job that raises the level of everyone. They're called star performers. So because we've never worked for someone like that, we don't realize what that looks like. We become set in our ways, and we're so used to doing the mediocre, so used to coasting along that when we are confronted by someone at a higher level, we don't realize that it's good for us or it can be good for us, and or we're the ones with the problem. So we instead interpret it as that person is too hard, that manager is too hard. You hear it all the time for those of you into professional sports. Footballers say when they play with Messi or when they play with Ronaldo, they become better footballers, or when you work with someone who's really good in their craft, like a musician, you become a better musician. It's become it's become iron sharp, it's because iron sharpened iron. We all know it as well. They say there's a saying, you are the sum total of the friends you hang out with, or conversely, if you hang around nine rich friends, nine poor friends, you'll be the tenth poor person. Who you hang around with makes a big difference, and the same goes for the workplace. If you hang around long enough with some with a high performer, it makes all the difference to you because it raises your game and it opens up untold abilities and cap capabilities to you, your capacity gets better. When we have the opportunity to work with someone who is good at what they do and gives us a chance to see what excellence looks like, we should grab it and make the best of it because the truth is, people who are half high flyers, people who are great at their jobs, are usually on a fast track, so they're not going to be around you for that long. And if you're someone who is not a high flyer, there's a chance they won't hang around you for that long. So when you get the opportunity to work around a high flyer, a high performer, a star, learn what you can. Now, I will balance this and say that high performers can sometimes be lacking in empathy, or they're not good at working with others, and that's the part you struggle with. And in this case, ultimately, they may not be the best for you. But what I would encourage you to do is look and learn as much as you can from them as long as you can bear it. The keyword being bare. For as long as you can bear it, work around them to learn as much as you can around how to do the job better before you make your final decision. Just because they're not excellent people managers doesn't mean you can't learn anything from them. Just because they're not excellent teammates as people doesn't mean you can't learn from them about how to do the job. Listen, our life and our careers are journeys, and we should be looking to take a bit from everybody we meet and use this to make ourselves better. To be clear, I'm not talking about managers that are bad at their jobs and also bad at managing people or teammates who are bad at their jobs and also horrible people. I'm talking about those who are good at their jobs but maybe lacking in the personal skills that makes working with them a pain. So, what is the action for you this week? Understand where you can do with some improvement, reflect on yourself in your job, and understand where you can do better. Number two, be humble enough to appreciate that this person or this manager may not be the best person to work with, but they know their job and really you want to get better. And thirdly, learn as much as you can for as long as you can bear it, and it will make all the difference. Listen, guys, the people you work with make a big difference to you. I read somewhere random that you spend up to 90,000 hours across your life working with them. So people you work with are like family, but working with horrible people is not acceptable. But sometimes we have to think long term and learn what we can to make us better before we make the move and leave that company and leave the team. It's a tough pill to swallow this week, but I hope you've enjoyed the episode of You Unleashed, where we are sure we share ideas about how to rock it in the workplace and life. Don't forget to share and like our podcast with your friends and let us know what you think. Think long term, not short term. We're not here, we're not where we want to be, but we're definitely better than where we used to be. Done is better than perfect, and this episode is done and is in the books. Get unleashed and stay unleashed.