Managing Expectations - Avoid failure and get it right 1st time

Welcome to the You Unleash podcast with Femi Akanyemi, the podcast where we explore how to unleash your potential in the workplace and life in general with practical, real steps that you can apply. Sometimes I use stories from my past, and trust me, I've got some stories from you. And sometimes I'll just share stuff I've learned, and other times we'll get the experts in here to chop it all up and get into some detail that would no doubt help you along the way. This is our first podcast, so really looking forward to the feedback we get. I've become a believer that done is better than perfect, so we had to get the show on the road and kind of get better as we go along. So let's jump right into it. Many years ago, I got a job as an analyst in some tech company. Looking back, I still don't know how it happened. But short of the story is I was a bit too click-app with my mouse. I am scrolling down my computer, and there's just analyst jobs everywhere, and I just click, click, click, and just applied for all the jobs with the word analyst in the title. So you imagine my surprise when I got a call back for a role called a strategy analyst, which for those who know is a lot to do with spreadsheets and calculations. And at the time I was looking for an IT analyst role, so nevertheless, boys are hustler, need a job, someone calls you for an interview. The salary is pretty nice, so I go in and I must have done pretty well because I got offered a role. Now, this is where it turned bad. They wanted to wait and excel and got a dude who just knew the basics. In a couple of weeks, I had the CEO asking me for top-level work and I couldn't do it. A few weeks later, I was on the street. I tell that sad story because it leads nicely as a segue into this session where we'll be talking about expectations. Now, in my experience, the singular reason for most of us suffering disappointment in relationships, work, and where we have to deal with others is unmet expectations. Expectations also tend to be closely linked to its lovely cousin called communication. Here's how it works. If I don't know what exactly you're going to give me, and you don't know what exactly I want you to give me, there's a pretty good chance that somewhere along the line one of us is gonna be dissatisfied. The sequence is me, the receiver, is probably going to be the first to complain that hey, you've not given me what I wanted. Then you who believe and probably in all likelihood did a good job think I don't appreciate what you've done, and we end up in a conflict because we didn't agree to the right level in the first place. It's all about managing expectations. And that's the big word today: expectations. Managing expectations is critical relationships, workplace, business, everywhere. Literally, everything we do when you're working with people, we're always working on the assumption that you're gonna do something for me. Now, most of the time we get away with it because it's okay, but in critical relationships, you need people to give you what you need to do what you have to do, and when they don't, you're not happy. So I'm shooting this message at those who are going into work today, getting into agreements with clients, customers, agreeing work with their managers, and even if you're in a relationship with a loved one, your spouse, your girlfriend, your friend, your brother, this is for you, and it's a three simple step process. You're a customer, and it doesn't hurt to start bringing the customer mindset to everyone you engage with. Now, I know your girlfriend, your wife, your brother, your friends. They're not customers, but the reality is if you're not giving them what they want, they could probably go somewhere else to get it most of the time. So you've got to think that I want to make them happy. They ask you for something, and what you need to do at that point is take time to think about it clearly, make sure you understand what they want. Now play it back to them, stating clearly what they want, when they want it, and how they want it. And here's the key: they have to say yes. That's the key. Unless they say yeah, Femi, that's what I want from you. You don't have a clear agreement, and you're just gonna end up arguing about it again. But why do expectations go wrong sometimes, anyway? The reality is most of us are shaped by our world experiences, our perspectives, which are unique to us. This carries into into this carries into the workplace where we assume previous experiences, whether good or bad, and we apply it to the situation and we make decisions, and most of the time we're projecting onto ourselves. We forget that most things are subjective, and so one man's meat is another man's poison. And I get in some cases, in the world of science and data, a zero is a zero, a pump is a pump, but we're not talking about, we're talking about places where assumptions are made, and you need to come to a common ground. You've got to agree on what quality looks like. The glue that holds all this together is a sign of the agreement, whether it's from your spouse, your friend, your business partner. The phrase is just to be clear, you want XYZ at this time and in this way. Now I know it sounds formal, I'm not gonna do this with my friend. That's my that's my friend, but trust me, it works. In the workplace, it might be formal. You need an email, but when it's with your guys or your friends, your girlfriends, it's a simple hey, I'll do this at this time and in this way. Is that cool? I look back now and then looking back at my time in the tech industry and that tech company. I should have just straight off the bat said, Look, guys, I'm a rookie, I'll learn, I'll work long hours, and my work will be a bit rough at first, but we'll get there. At which time they could have just said, Yeah, that works, or they could have said no and saved all of us. Well, me, a lot of heartache. I learned though, because I had to take someone close to me out for a meal, and after planning, I just thought, you know what, I'm not gonna just book someone a nice Indian restaurant, and then she gets there and says, You know what, this is a fantastic meal, but I would have just liked a nice Chinese takeaway. I just said, Hey, what do you want to eat? She says, You know what? Chinese in a nice summer evening outside, that would do me. And I knew what she wanted. I went ahead and booked it, and she loved it. Expectations met, that's how you do it. I hope you enjoyed our first podcast on the You Unleashed, where we share ideas and how to rocket in the workplace and life. Don't forget to share our podcast with your friends and let us know what you think. This is a bonus episode, but like I said, done is better than perfect. And episode one is done, it's in the books, and now the show is on the road. And for you, I'm done, but for you, don't hold back, get the agreements when you're working with someone, and then just rock it and watch yourself unleash because you're never gonna get held down for not meeting expectations. This is me to you, stay unleashed.