Oct. 18, 2023

Real Life’s Adventures in Living: Keeping an Open Mind and Saying Yes with Guest Alastair Henry – Part I | EP 62

Real Life’s Adventures in Living: Keeping an Open Mind and Saying Yes with Guest Alastair Henry – Part I | EP 62

Special guest Alastair Henry shares his adventures in moving from corporate world living to retirement at 59 and feeling restless after two years and questioning “what else is there.” This placed him on a journey of discovering his true purpose in living. Unbeknownst to him, he shares how providing services in a remote community in Canada served to recalibrate his sense of self and find greater fulfillment through serving others, which led to his soul’s growth.

About the Guest

Alastair immigrated to Canada from England by himself when he was 19. He became a typical yuppie – family, a house in the suburbs, and a big job in the corporate sector. Following London Life’s Freedom 55 plan – he retired at 57 and went to live in the country.

A year later, disillusioned with the passivity of retirement, he shed his material possessions and went to live for two years with a small First Nations band in a remote fly-in location in the North-West Territories.

About the Host

Dr. Judith Holder’s passion is empowering people to be their best selves! Dr. Holder is the founder and executive director of Unique Pathways™ (www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com). She is a leadership coach-psychologist, facilitator, consultant, and author.

Our paths are filled with many adventures in which Judith believes can be seen as growth opportunities, even during challenging times. She likes to think about, discover, and discuss personal and professional life’s circumstances as you journey through life, through the lens of Christian values, Buddhist precepts, Ascended Master teachings and Esoteric Principles to gain greater clarity and mastery in daily living. 

Dr. Holder is the author of Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam – Essential Insights for Growth and Self-Mastery, and an e-book, Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth

On a personal note, Dr. Holder sees herself as a perpetual student/seeker learning from her everyday adventures, which she considers as a part her ongoing growth and evolution of her SOUL. The fun part is we are all walking similar journeys together!

Judith enjoys spending time with family, vacationing at beaches and mountains sides, reading, walking, partaking in mindfulness practices, and is a certified yoga instructor.

Dr. Holder’s books on Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam and Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth can be found at -

https://www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com/services/spiritual-inquisitiveness/

Mastering Life’s Adventures “How to” Downloadable Courses at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab “Offerings”

  • Course 1: Mastering Life’s Adventures mini-course
  • Course 2: Opening Up to Your Divinity mini-course

Learn more about “Mental Fitness for Busy People”, at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab, “Offerings”

You can also check out Dr. Holder’s at

LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judith-c-holder-phd-ms-pcc-bcc-a1a4a57/

Executive and Leadership Coaching website: www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com

Speaking Engagements (for Women New to Leading): www.drjudithholder.com

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Transcript
Speaker:

Dr. Judith: Holder, your host, coach psychologist, fellow seeker who enjoys

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diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness,

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and your everyday life's adventures, all preparing and polishing you

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like the facets of a magnificent diamond to be your best self.

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If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place.

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Come, let's journey together and transform what you know into who you really are.

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Mastering Life's Adventures begins now.

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Hi, I'm back and I'm here to talk with Alistair Henry, my guest.

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We're here to focus on keeping an open mind and saying yes.

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Hmm, sounds interesting, huh?

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Just think about it.

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Keep an open mind.

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And saying, yes, I would like, um, Alistair to introduce himself and

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tell a little bit about himself.

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And then we're going to jump right into this topic area.

Alastair:

Thank you.

Alastair:

Yes.

Alastair:

I'm a retiree.

Alastair:

I'm an author.

Alastair:

I'm an adventurist and I'm a double lung transplant recipient,

Alastair:

quite a hodgepodge of titles.

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: Yes, all of your experiences that you've had probably ties into your

Alastair:

mindset to begin with about keeping an open mind saying yes, tell us more about

Alastair:

that and where that came from and how you've evolved into who you are today.

Alastair:

Yeah, well one thing I believe Judith is we're a product of our

Alastair:

upbringing and environment and everything.

Alastair:

I was born in, uh, well, I grew up in Bolton, Lancashire, England.

Alastair:

I left school at 16.

Alastair:

University was never an option.

Alastair:

And at 17, I bumped into some friends from school who had a rock and roll band.

Alastair:

They were looking for a bass guitarist.

Alastair:

And, uh, I jumped at that.

Alastair:

So the next day I went down to the music shop, bought myself a bass guitar.

Alastair:

I was playing bass for Paul Venture and the Rebel Beats.

Alastair:

This was 1962.

Alastair:

In that part of Britain where all the British rock and roll was coming out.

Alastair:

So it's a very exciting time.

Alastair:

And when I was, uh, 18, I had a girlfriend.

Alastair:

I fell in love with this 17 year old, madly in love.

Alastair:

And then when she told me that she was going to Canada, Because

Alastair:

their parents were emigrating.

Alastair:

Wow, what a decision to make.

Alastair:

Funny how we reflect back, but at the time, uh, I didn't

Alastair:

see it as a big decision.

Alastair:

I thought, well, no, I have to go.

Alastair:

And, uh, I don't know how I went home and told my parents and my

Alastair:

siblings, I'm leaving you all.

Alastair:

And I may not see you for a long time, but I did.

Alastair:

I mean, today I think I'd have too much compassion and empathy

Alastair:

to, to do that, but I didn't.

Alastair:

I was so madly in love.

Alastair:

I think, you know, that was a part of the first conditioning in saying yes.

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: Yeah, but it's also your heart.

Alastair:

Your heart was kind of tapped in on some ways that gave you

Alastair:

that kind of inspiration or desire to say, I'm doing this.

Alastair:

Yes, I also had a happy family.

Alastair:

It wasn't like my family were, um, dysfunctional and life was hell.

Alastair:

It wasn't, but I had to make a decision.

Alastair:

And, uh, I think also maybe the adventure of going to Canada.

Alastair:

So I went, got a passport and four months later, I showed up

Alastair:

on a doorstep in London, Ontario, and, uh, the parents welcomed me.

Alastair:

Then I got into a guest house and got a job and went from

Alastair:

there, and then I got married.

Alastair:

Because back in those days, you know, it was the early 60s, 1963,

Alastair:

64, that's what we did in those days.

Alastair:

Everybody was getting married at 20, 21, immediately having

Alastair:

a family, putting down roots.

Alastair:

It's very different today, but if you didn't do that, people look to you and

Alastair:

say, what's the matter with you, you know?

Alastair:

You don't have a girlfriend, you haven't, you're not married.

Alastair:

And by the time I was 22, I had three children.

Alastair:

And that sheer responsibility of having to provide caused me to say, okay,

Alastair:

what am I going to do about this?

Alastair:

I decided to get my accounting degree, but I did go back to university full time.

Alastair:

I had to do it after supper every night.

Alastair:

And that was a long slog for five years, every night after supper.

Alastair:

It was like 26 subjects I had to get through.

Alastair:

Anyway, I did it.

Alastair:

So that's when I learned, you know, you can achieve things through sheer

Alastair:

determination if you set your mind to it.

Alastair:

I found I was visioning, I was thinking maybe I've got this and I've got that

Alastair:

and I found that helped to stay positive.

Alastair:

So nowhere in there did I ever allow myself to be negative and throw the

Alastair:

towel in and say this is too much.

Alastair:

I just plodded on, got there eventually.

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: It sounds like because you were raising a young family, and that was

Alastair:

kind of a part of the equation that you wanted to provide the best to the family.

Alastair:

And give them the best as much as possible.

Alastair:

And that's what actually our soul wants.

Alastair:

Our soul wants to plug along and not stop and not detour.

Alastair:

But instead, keep focused as you were saying and look at this as

Alastair:

more of an adventure that it's going to have its ups and downs.

Alastair:

Cause the soul will have its ups and downs too.

Alastair:

But at the same time, you don't veer off, you know, of the path and you

Alastair:

just try to keep moving forward one step at a time, trying to do your best.

Alastair:

Yeah.

Alastair:

I've always felt driven.

Alastair:

I've never been one to take lessons.

Alastair:

I've always been self taught.

Alastair:

I taught myself to play the bass, taught myself to play tennis, to play soccer.

Alastair:

I've never had a lesson in my life.

Alastair:

Even downhill skiing, I do it my way.

Alastair:

It works best for me if I do it my way.

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: So there's something in your way that you're doing things

Alastair:

that it sounds like you have an innate ability to learn through

Alastair:

the experience that you go through.

Alastair:

Yeah.

Alastair:

And that innate ability to learn as you're going through that experience.

Alastair:

And then it's like an iterative process.

Alastair:

Well, that wasn't quite right.

Alastair:

So I'll do it this way.

Alastair:

And then I'll do it this way.

Alastair:

And then I'll do it this way.

Alastair:

And that allows you to move forward without getting discouraged.

Alastair:

And I think that gives me confidence.

Alastair:

To say yes, because I find every time I say yes, it's very exciting.

Alastair:

I'm never disappointed, always wonderfully surprised at how

Alastair:

life turns out when you say yes.

Alastair:

It's like looking across the room and seeing a door.

Alastair:

And wondering what's behind that door.

Alastair:

Well, you have to cross the room and open that door to see what's beyond.

Alastair:

You can't guess who knows what's behind.

Alastair:

But for me, I have to cross the room and open the door.

Alastair:

I have to see what's beyond.

Alastair:

You know,

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: that seeing beyond is something that happens with

Alastair:

the word that came to my mind.

Alastair:

Is courage.

Alastair:

It's the courage to be able to say, I have an interest.

Alastair:

And I love the word you used earlier about adventuresome, unlikened adventures,

Alastair:

because it allows you to not get into the fear factor that many people can get into.

Alastair:

And fear tends to put a straitjacket

Alastair:

on you.

Alastair:

Yeah.

Alastair:

And I think for me, Judith, leaving home at 19, I had to immediately

Alastair:

stand on my own two feet.

Alastair:

If things didn't work out in Canada, I couldn't go running

Alastair:

home to my mom and dad or anybody.

Alastair:

I left all my friends, everybody.

Alastair:

So I had to mature very quickly.

Alastair:

And I think that caused me to, uh, feel comfortable making big decisions.

Alastair:

Not being fearful of them, you know, and when I started taking my

Alastair:

course, um, I mean, I became very, very ambitious, very goal oriented.

Alastair:

And, uh, every couple of years I was changing jobs for

Alastair:

more money, bigger position.

Alastair:

And my goal was, I mean, I started with nothing, but I wanted to be a vice

Alastair:

president of finance by the time I was 40.

Alastair:

And that happened.

Alastair:

I did become a vice president of finance.

Alastair:

But all along this, there was a part of me that was always restless.

Alastair:

I was always anxious.

Alastair:

And even though I was successful, I always felt, you know, there's something missing.

Alastair:

I'm not content.

Alastair:

I'd like to be more, more satisfied.

Alastair:

More personally fulfilled.

Alastair:

And that

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: is the same thing that happens with our soul.

Alastair:

We don't realize that restlessness sometimes is our soul saying,

Alastair:

okay, there's something more here.

Alastair:

This is not all what life is cracked up to be.

Alastair:

It's just not this to achieve, achieve, achieve, achieve, but it's more

Alastair:

learn, grow, have experiences that allow you to be able to kind of use

Alastair:

them as stepping stones to strengthen who you are, the trueness of who

Alastair:

you are as a person, truly getting into what really is happiness here.

Alastair:

Because I did accomplish this particular goal at 40, being, uh, Vice President.

Alastair:

You achieve that, um, but at the same time, it still didn't quite hit

Alastair:

that inner urge for something more.

Alastair:

And that's the key that sometimes happens with people, that we think,

Alastair:

yes, we want to be successful.

Alastair:

We want to achieve, and we think that that's the only way

Alastair:

that we're going to be happy.

Alastair:

But when we get there, we realize, Hmm, this is not quite happy either.

Alastair:

What else do I do here?

Alastair:

Yeah.

Alastair:

So I, you know, I looked at it and I thought, okay, well maybe if I

Alastair:

work for myself, maybe that's it.

Alastair:

That's what's missing.

Alastair:

I found an opportunity.

Alastair:

I went into business with my son who was 20, the two of us.

Alastair:

And we ran that business for 12 years and it was very successful.

Alastair:

But then again, we worked very, very hard.

Alastair:

We did everything that, uh, we had to do to be successful.

Alastair:

And I was able to sell the company and retire at 57.

Alastair:

And I had this nice place out in the country.

Alastair:

50 acres, 5 ponds, 18 acres of bush, and the Rocky Saugeen

Alastair:

River ran through the property.

Alastair:

Beautiful.

Alastair:

Idyllic.

Alastair:

But after 2 years, I was still feeling empty.

Alastair:

Is this it?

Alastair:

Is this all there is to life?

Alastair:

I'm only 59.

Alastair:

Is all I'm going to do for the rest of my life is play golf and cut grass?

Alastair:

It wasn't sufficient.

Alastair:

Now, it might have been for many other retirees.

Alastair:

It probably would have been heaven, but it wasn't for me.

Alastair:

I needed to make a change again.

Alastair:

I needed something different.

Alastair:

I didn't want to go back into the corporate world.

Alastair:

Didn't want to go back into the city.

Alastair:

So I went looking for an adventure and I found it in

Alastair:

Canada's Northwest territories.

Alastair:

So I went to live and work in a small hamlet, a little fly in

Alastair:

location on the east arm of Great Slave Lake with 300 Chippewan.

Alastair:

These are Indians, North American Indians.

Alastair:

In Canada, we call them First Nations.

Alastair:

Just a little community of 300 people.

Alastair:

And they were looking for a development, a general manager to

Alastair:

manage their development Diamonds were discovered in 1992 in Canada.

Alastair:

So there were diamond mines up there.

Alastair:

One of the roles of this general manager was to help the band negotiate

Alastair:

some agreements with De Beers.

Alastair:

De Beers had two properties on Snap Lake and Kennedy Lake.

Alastair:

These were diamond mines, but before they could proceed, they

Alastair:

needed to negotiate these agreements with the Lutzukai Denny Band.

Alastair:

And that was one of my jobs, to help the band.

Alastair:

So that's what really attracted me up there.

Alastair:

It was wonderful.

Alastair:

When I went in there, I went in there with the mindset that I'm the seasoned business

Alastair:

guy to run these corporations, Monday to Friday, and on the weekend, I'll have fun.

Alastair:

I'll go fishing and hunting or whatever, but this community of 300 people, it

Alastair:

wasn't like great big subdivisions.

Alastair:

They all, it was just one little community and they acted as a community.

Alastair:

There was a community hall.

Alastair:

It was like one great big 300 people congregation.

Alastair:

It Very different.

Alastair:

In Canada here, right?

Alastair:

We were so very independent.

Alastair:

We go to work, but we just wave to the neighbor.

Alastair:

We don't really do anything with the neighbor.

Alastair:

You know, we don't socialize with them, really.

Alastair:

We have our own friends.

Alastair:

But there, in Le Touquet, I mean, everybody was related because they

Alastair:

believe in this pure bloodline thing.

Alastair:

But what I noticed was, um, I was changing.

Alastair:

I went up there with these best practices, goals and objectives,

Alastair:

expectations, none of it, because they weren't, they weren't conditioned.

Alastair:

I mean, I, I'm a product of Canada of North America.

Alastair:

They're not, they live on a different planet, even though it's still Canada.

Alastair:

They live mindfully in the moment, always have, and they don't

Alastair:

have any goals or expectations.

Alastair:

They just live mindfully.

Alastair:

It's wonderful because I went in there and I found that, um, like

Alastair:

I had a couple of fire crews.

Alastair:

We had a fire base up near the airport.

Alastair:

So I had 16 people on payroll.

Alastair:

And then I had other people that went in to be janitors

Alastair:

and cooks at the diamond mines.

Alastair:

So I had a payroll and I would say to them, you know, okay, so we're going

Alastair:

to get paid on the 1st and the 15th.

Alastair:

Okay.

Alastair:

Well, the day after they came to me and said, can we get an advance?

Alastair:

It's like, no way.

Alastair:

I can't give you an advance.

Alastair:

Everybody would want an advance.

Alastair:

So I sent them away and I didn't feel bad.

Alastair:

But then next day they came and they said, Johnny really needs

Alastair:

some diapers and we have no money.

Alastair:

And another one needed some food.

Alastair:

And then it dawned on me.

Alastair:

I mean, they've worked.

Alastair:

They've earned.

Alastair:

We owe them this money.

Alastair:

Who am I to say you're not going to get your money for two weeks?

Alastair:

I mean, what's that, what's, what's that all about?

Alastair:

What gives me the right?

Alastair:

That's just an administrative thing to make my job easier.

Alastair:

I thought, no, that's wrong.

Alastair:

That's one of these things from the South that it doesn't work up here.

Alastair:

So from that point was I had a, I had a visa card, but they didn't.

Alastair:

And in Lusoke there was only one store, the co op store.

Alastair:

Nothing else.

Alastair:

Or you could get there with some food and, man, it was high priced.

Alastair:

But sometimes they needed things from Yellowknife, which was an hour

Alastair:

flight, and, uh, about 250 bucks.

Alastair:

Got a Yellowknife return.

Alastair:

So I started to buy things with my visa for them from

Alastair:

Yellowknife, have it shipped in.

Alastair:

I just, uh, reimbursed myself out of the payroll.

Alastair:

No problem.

Alastair:

But when I saw how happy it made them.

Alastair:

I realized by sharing what I have, not only my skills and knowledge,

Alastair:

but my views of God, I can make a difference in their life.

Alastair:

And that's where, that's where I found my fulfillment in working

Alastair:

with people, helping people.

Alastair:

Because in the corporate world, it was all meetings and spreadsheets

Alastair:

and budgets and reports.

Alastair:

I really, I had colleagues, but I, I really wasn't working with people.

Alastair:

But up there I was, and they invited me to their homes.

Alastair:

I went checking the trap lines.

Alastair:

I went fishing with them.

Alastair:

I really became part of their community.

Alastair:

And they were so welcoming.

Alastair:

And that's what was so fulfilling.

Alastair:

Yeah, and it's

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: that quality, that of caring.

Alastair:

That blossomed within you and those same qualities of caring, compassion

Alastair:

and empathy is that we get more in touch with our soul because those are

Alastair:

the qualities of the soul as well.

Alastair:

And it taps into the greater good of wanting to serve and to give back.

Alastair:

In ways that it does now become more fulfilling and we're not even aware of

Alastair:

the fact is because it taps into the essence of the soul, not only our soul,

Alastair:

but the souls of those individuals in which you're giving graciously to because

Alastair:

they also are giving something back.

Alastair:

They're giving back to you.

Alastair:

It's like a figure eight flow of energy flowing back and forth

Alastair:

that gets that bond of connection that feels like this is real.

Alastair:

I can live in the now.

Alastair:

I can be mindfulness in the now and not get distracted by all this other stuff

Alastair:

because you were in a community that learned innately how to live presently.

Alastair:

But the funny thing Judith is how I learned that I was there for two

Alastair:

years and I, and I evolved without knowing it, just everything, cultural difference.

Alastair:

And when I went there, my daughter gave me a journal and she said,

Alastair:

write in this dad, cause we know it's going to be very different up there.

Alastair:

So I did.

Alastair:

Initially, I had a sense of obligation, because I knew she'd be saying,

Alastair:

how's the writing coming down?

Alastair:

I didn't want to disappoint her.

Alastair:

But so much was happening and so much was new and exciting.

Alastair:

I wrote and I wrote, and I wrote in all of these books and notebooks.

Alastair:

And after two years, which I felt like I'd been up there a

Alastair:

long time, more than two years.

Alastair:

Time is a strange concept.

Alastair:

I used to stop and try to remember, what did I do before I came to Lützowke?

Alastair:

And even though it was only two years, it seemed like a long, long time

Alastair:

ago, because so much had happened.

Alastair:

Anyway, I took all of these notes, and I thought, I can't just give these to

Alastair:

my daughter and say, here, read this.

Alastair:

It really was unintelligible.

Alastair:

So I decided I would put it all into Word, Microsoft Word.

Alastair:

So what I did, I went to Costa Rica.

Alastair:

To a little town called Coweta, on the border of Panama.

Alastair:

For a month, I booked into a guest house with my computer.

Alastair:

And I typed all of these notes into Microsoft Word.

Alastair:

And then I started to go through.

Alastair:

Delete stuff that didn't go anywhere.

Alastair:

A lot of it didn't.

Alastair:

It was just a one off.

Alastair:

But there were threads.

Alastair:

I started to work with it and that's when I realized how, um,

Alastair:

I had changed from the beginning.

Alastair:

Like when I went in there and people came and said, can you help me?

Alastair:

My reaction was no way I'm the businessman here.

Alastair:

I don't help people because I'd never volunteered or done anything in my life.

Alastair:

And then after two years, it's like, how can I help you today?

Alastair:

You know, total change.

Alastair:

So, I, I, I call this writing Awakening in the Northwest Territories.

Alastair:

It was my awakening.

Alastair:

It sounds

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: like it was also the awakening of your soul.

Alastair:

And because one of the things that the soul, the

Alastair:

soul wants.

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: It wants reflection.

Alastair:

When we can have reflection time, that means we're able to see the greater

Alastair:

span of what's going on in our worlds.

Alastair:

You could see your evolving process taking place.

Alastair:

Also, it moves into refining, because it's like your reflection and then

Alastair:

refining, and being aware in the writing process that you did, and then it

Alastair:

moved into looking at all the rewards.

Alastair:

It's like R, R, and R.

Alastair:

The rewards that came from that experience, because you did reflect and

Alastair:

you did be fine, and now it's moved you into rewarding and going to a greater

Alastair:

awareness of, Hmm, this is what I want

Alastair:

more of.

Alastair:

But by saying yes, I'm going to go and search for something, no idea what it is.

Alastair:

I'm just going to look, and the universe is going to send me what I need, and

Alastair:

it sent me to Lutoké, and I was the right person for the job, because

Alastair:

it's, I, I, I gave, but I got back.

Alastair:

I, I, the reward was, it changed me, and that just, the rest of my life after that.

Alastair:

When I left Lutoké, I was all enthused.

Alastair:

What really made me happy was helping other people.

Alastair:

So I found this opportunity in Dhaka, Bangladesh.

Alastair:

Working with a small NGO, working with the abjectly poor in rural and coastal areas.

Alastair:

I was a volunteer there for two years.

Alastair:

They were setting up micro credit programs for the villagers because

Alastair:

poor people can't get loans.

Alastair:

So this microcredit program is a way for them to work together as a community.

Alastair:

You get like 20 people together.

Alastair:

They all put in 10 cents.

Alastair:

So you know, you've got 2 and somebody borrows the 2 and does something with it.

Alastair:

It's fantastic.

Alastair:

And it's lifted thousands out of poverty in Bangladesh and well, Southeast Asia.

Alastair:

. Dr. Judith: Mm-hmm.

Alastair:

. It's in that process of transitioning from, it's like you're going from one

Alastair:

community, growing and learning from the community that you were in Canada,

Alastair:

and then when you bank the desh, it gave you an opportunity to expand your

Alastair:

heart even more through the service, through this micro credit process that

Alastair:

was going on to help the the abject poor.

Alastair:

And so it's as if you're continuing to evolve not only in

Alastair:

the outer world, because our soul sometimes knows what we need.

Alastair:

Our soul actually knows that yes, that'd be great.

Alastair:

We go to that remote area because it gives you a chance to slow

Alastair:

down and get new experiences.

Alastair:

It actually gave you an opportunity and the sole opportunity just to

Alastair:

recalibrate that, recalibrate expectation, recalibrate who you are or who you

Alastair:

thought you were, and then it starts to transform you like a wonderful diamond.

Alastair:

Absolutely it up the, the d different angles of that diamond

Alastair:

or facets of that diamond.

Alastair:

And then you take that as aspect and then you go to the next community of, of

Alastair:

serving and helping maybe in a different way through the microcredit, but it's

Alastair:

evolving you another level of awareness.

Alastair:

Mm-hmm.

Alastair:

. And also tying into that desire for having some level of

Alastair:

adventure, which his soul is great.

Alastair:

It loves adventure.

Alastair:

Oh,

Alastair:

yeah.

Alastair:

When I was in Bangladesh for two years, I went backpacking in India.

Alastair:

I went to the Taj Mahal.

Alastair:

I went to Varanasi, Sarnath.

Alastair:

Yeah, I went up to Cherrapunji.

Alastair:

So all of this was, uh, as I say, I'm an adventurist.

Alastair:

It's all part of the package of enjoying life.

Alastair:

Life shouldn't just be, uh, like it was all those years in the corporate world.

Alastair:

I just went in there and came home exhausted and went back in.

Alastair:

And the thing was, I thought that was success.

Alastair:

I was there with the rest of my colleagues.

Alastair:

That's what we were all doing.

Alastair:

We work like dogs and the whole idea is to retire and take it easy.

Alastair:

We never questioned it.

Alastair:

That was the, that was the whole purpose.

Alastair:

And it was only after I did that I realized, no, this, this isn't living.

Alastair:

This is, you know, but the corporate world teaches you that.

Alastair:

You see in our world, our society, it's all about winning.

Alastair:

Without knowing it as children, all the time we're being pushed

Alastair:

to win, to be top of the class.

Alastair:

We're being pushed into sports, and it's all about winning all the time.

Alastair:

Now, when I went to live with the Dene, the Lutsoke, they live

Alastair:

on a totally different planet.

Alastair:

They don't, there's no winning.

Alastair:

They just live mindfully, share what they have, they go fishing and they

Alastair:

come back and they put some of it in a big freezer in the community for the

Alastair:

elders, the elders come and take it.

Alastair:

We can learn so much from them.

Alastair:

And I realized having expectations only made me feel disappointed.

Alastair:

Why?

Alastair:

When I didn't achieve all of the expectations, I focused

Alastair:

on what we didn't achieve.

Alastair:

So I got rid of that and he used to go to work and say, okay, you know, whatever

Alastair:

we achieve, I'm going to celebrate.

Alastair:

And even if Joel didn't do a great job today because he was

Alastair:

hungover, he still did his best.

Alastair:

So I realized you do your best.

Alastair:

You can't always be brilliant and be first, but as long as you do

Alastair:

your best, that's all that matters.

Alastair:

And when you start to think along those lines, you feel calmer,

Alastair:

more restful, more satisfied.

Alastair:

And happier.

Alastair:

Yeah.

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: Yeah, exactly.

Alastair:

And when it came to my mind, you said that you do your best and let go of the rest.

Alastair:

Absolutely.

Alastair:

Also, that means you're letting go of the worry.

Alastair:

I have another saying, Judith, and it's you go with the flow.

Alastair:

You make it up as you go.

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: Exactly.

Alastair:

And that creativity and that innovativeness and that, uh, adventuresome

Alastair:

allows you to be able to kind of make it up and do it well, because

Alastair:

remember you said earlier about you learn best by just trying to practice

Alastair:

it, be it skiing or be it playing an instrument or what it may be.

Alastair:

That's something that's innate to you.

Alastair:

And that's where I think it's the preciousness of what you're

Alastair:

talking about is, is that you tapped into that at an early age.

Alastair:

Yeah.

Alastair:

Knowing that you could trust your inner self to work through

Alastair:

whatever it needed to work through.

Alastair:

And you could have some trust in that, in that process.

Alastair:

And that's what the soul is actually wanting us to do,

Alastair:

is work it through, trust.

Alastair:

If you didn't do it right, so what?

Alastair:

Try it again.

Alastair:

Exactly.

Alastair:

Try it so critical or hard on yourself, but know that life is for growing.

Alastair:

Life is for living.

Alastair:

And

Alastair:

I've always realized that, Judith, that life is a, it's a journey.

Alastair:

And, uh, it's comprised, it's like a book.

Alastair:

It's just comprised of different chapters.

Alastair:

And when we get old, we can't do the things we did when we're 25

Alastair:

because the body just isn't the same.

Alastair:

So this is the whole thing mentally, emotionally, physically, as we

Alastair:

go through life, we just keep going through different stages.

Alastair:

And if we embrace and move on, but a lot of people get stuck

Alastair:

and they refuse and they hang in there, refuse to accept reality.

Alastair:

But it's beautiful if you accept reality, you just say, Okay, well, now

Alastair:

I'm on the next stage of my life, and the next stage, and the next stage,

Alastair:

and each stage, every time there's change, you have to compromise,

Alastair:

you have to let go of something.

Alastair:

You can't drag it all with you.

Alastair:

It's all baggage.

Alastair:

So you have to know, just let it go, move on, and grab a hold of the new stuff.

Alastair:

That's wonderful, exciting.

Alastair:

But I know a lot of people that are stuck, they just.

Alastair:

Won't let go.

Alastair:

It was a life.

Alastair:

They don't know how

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: to, they don't know how to let

Alastair:

go.

Alastair:

It's just stuff, you know, it's just stuff.

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: So that letting go is a process of mentally, emotionally, even

Alastair:

sometimes spiritually, there's things that we need to just let go and be open to,

Alastair:

you know, what is the next door, the next window, or the next experience that we be

Alastair:

open to us if we're trusting ourselves.

Alastair:

And so those are our spiritual path.

Alastair:

Consciously or unconsciously, or seekers, they, you just do it

Alastair:

because you have the faith that things will work themselves out.

Alastair:

You have the faith that yes, you get, you may get your knee scan, you may

Alastair:

not work out the way that you wanted to, but you keep on at it because

Alastair:

you know, you're here to grow and to continue to learn in advance.

Alastair:

And that seems like what you've been able to do just very innately in your

Alastair:

life.

Alastair:

I call it the universe, Judith, for some strange reason, karma, whatever.

Alastair:

The universe keeps sending me wonderful, wonderful opportunities,

Alastair:

like when I was in Bangladesh.

Alastair:

As I say, I got a chance to go to India to see the Taj Mahal and

Alastair:

all sorts of wonderful things.

Alastair:

And then later on, I volunteered in Georgetown, Guyana.

Alastair:

I was working with the young leaders of Agricola, these 10 young Afro

Alastair:

Ianans, came from a little community that was very damaged and they

Alastair:

wanted to heal the community because the elders were, they were all

Alastair:

just so dysfunctional or whatever.

Alastair:

So I worked with these 10 young people.

Alastair:

It was wonderful, but my assignment ended early.

Alastair:

So I stayed on as an accompanying partner to my wife, Candice,

Alastair:

who, she had a volunteer position there with the disability, anyway.

Alastair:

And then all of a sudden, out of the blue, a little opportunity came up

Alastair:

to go into the Amazon rainforest.

Alastair:

Wow!

Alastair:

The universe sent me that.

Alastair:

There was four eco lodges down there.

Alastair:

That had been given computers, but no training.

Alastair:

It's weird.

Alastair:

Some, somewhere in the world, they came up with this idea.

Alastair:

Oh yeah, we'll give them computers.

Alastair:

But there was no training or anything.

Alastair:

Microsoft Office was loaded on the computers, but they had no idea

Alastair:

how to open or do Word or Excel.

Alastair:

So I was sent down there for four weeks.

Alastair:

So I spent a week at each lodge.

Alastair:

But as I was there, all these wonderful opportunities came out.

Alastair:

I went up the river to see the giant river otters, and then it

Alastair:

was the caimans at Yuppakari.

Alastair:

So you never know.

Alastair:

When you say yes, You never know what wonderful opportunities

Alastair:

are just around the corner.

Alastair:

And they, they always are.

Alastair:

Yeah, and

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: that is a nice way.

Alastair:

And I think I would like to just have you come back for part two with this, you

Alastair:

know, keeping an open mind and saying, yes, it's how, how your life has evolved

Alastair:

into these wonderful opportunities.

Alastair:

And maybe, you know, we can talk about what we want to do in the next segment,

Alastair:

but I would like to continue because there's so much more to, How your life

Alastair:

has evolved to being where you are currently that has allowed you to be

Alastair:

able to be adventuresome Allowed you to be creative allows you to serve Allows

Alastair:

you to be able to give back and in every place that you've gone, which is so very

Alastair:

nice and very precious to be able to do

Alastair:

emotional to be happy.

Alastair:

Yes,

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: that's the piece I want to talk about is that happiness component

Alastair:

of what's been able to be created.

Alastair:

So if there is kind of a word or a statement that you want to

Alastair:

leave at this part one segment.

Alastair:

What would that be for our seekers?

Alastair:

It would be

Alastair:

to be fearless, to think about all the what ifs that never happen, but

Alastair:

it stops us from being all that we can be.

Alastair:

Our society conditions us to be fearful because it sells products.

Alastair:

And without knowing it, we're conditioned.

Alastair:

So we, we're fearful of this, fearful of that.

Alastair:

And I think about when I was growing up, you know, we, I was 7, We would

Alastair:

just leave the house, play all day.

Alastair:

My mom and dad had no idea where we were.

Alastair:

We just came back at supper time.

Alastair:

Well, today, man, you wouldn't, you wouldn't do that with your children.

Alastair:

We're living in such a fear, fear ridden society, it's so bad because

Alastair:

there's no liberty, there's no freedom.

Alastair:

It's sad.

Alastair:

It's sad.

Alastair:

But as an adult you can choose to be fearless.

Alastair:

Everything I've done, very seldom has there been any bad stuff arise.

Alastair:

There really hasn't.

Alastair:

So that just proves it's all, it's just mentally fearing.

Alastair:

Yeah, you're so

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: right.

Alastair:

And part of that is the kind of the fear based in our society and some of the

Alastair:

circumstances that we find ourselves in.

Alastair:

But as an adult, as you're saying, we can live a little bit more fear

Alastair:

listly because with our soul and mind, because it helps our soul to

Alastair:

continue to evolve in advance as well.

Alastair:

If they want to reach out to you, Alistair, where can they find

Alastair:

you?

Alastair:

Well, I have a website, and there's a lot on my website.

Alastair:

As I say, I'm an author, so my books are there.

Alastair:

Excerpts from my books, reviews.

Alastair:

The website is www.

Alastair:

alastairhenry.

Alastair:

com.

Alastair:

So it's A L A S T A I R H E N R Y dot com.

Alastair:

And uh, you can contact me on that website.

Alastair:

There's a contact us button there if you have any questions that

Alastair:

you would like to ask me anything.

Alastair:

I'm always willing to discuss or talk with people.

Alastair:

Indeed you

Alastair:

Dr. Judith: are.

Alastair:

You're very much people oriented and it's been a delight to have you in

Alastair:

this first segment and I look forward to have you back in our part two.

Alastair:

Thank you, Judith, for seekers.

Alastair:

Bye for now.

Alastair:

Thank you for joining me for this episode on Mastering Life's Avens, being

Alastair:

your best Self through Soul evolution.

Alastair:

If you have enjoyed what you've heard today, I would be delighted if you

Alastair:

would share this episode with others.

Alastair:

Leave a thumbs up and subscribe to my Mastering Life's Adventures podcast.

Alastair:

Look forward to your joining the next episode.

Alastair:

Please leave any calm or suggestions you might have below.

Alastair:

Bye for now.