The Messy Middle of Mom Life & Business

Okay, where can I fit this in in my life now and then, when you're able to scale up to be like, All right, I can quit my full time job, you already have that set of expectations that, like, I can be very flexible and fit this in where I need and can. So I think just that flexibility piece all around has been key for me.

welcome back to entrepreneur school, friends. I have a fun guest today. Her name is Jessica lamb and she is the real deal voice for moms building businesses in the margins. She is the host of the mama making podcast and the founder of collabs creative, which is a story first marketing Studio, helping small businesses grow in ways that actually feel human. And here's what's exciting, Jessica is not here with a step by step plan today, we know we love strategies and we love tactics, and we love like game plans here on entrepreneur school. But what we also love is talking about real behind the scenes of building a business and a family at the same time. So I'm really excited, because this is the kind of conversation that we need more of, and honestly, one of the main reasons I even started this show in the first place. So welcome, Jessica. Okay, Jessica, let's start with what came first, the business or the babies?

Yes, so they kind of came at the same time. I started my podcast in 2021 before I even had my son. And then my son came in 2022 and then in 2023, I started my digital marketing business.

Okay, I love this, because that's really interesting to think about. Like UK, you started a podcast. Is that? Was that kind of like just out of curiosity, or what inspired that?

Yeah, solely here, curiosity. So I have always been a birth nerd, and have loved all things babies and birth. And I just had so many questions prior to having my son that, like the average person isn't really excited to get into, like, their birth stories or trying to conceive and things like that. So I was like, You know what? I'm gonna start a podcast. I'm gonna do it for a year, ask all my questions and see what happens. And here we are,

okay, so that's really interesting. And then you had your son, and then you started a business. So I love hearing that difference of people's journey, like, Do you have kids first? Are you coming from that? Are you trying to build a business with a baby at your side? And so my kids were two and four when I started my business, and I was dealing with, like the Child Care and trying to figure out what that transition looked like. And at one point, I went through like, seven day homes in seven weeks, and that was like a total disaster. But since this is a lot more fresh in your mind, like talk about a little bit of, like the challenge, and how you've navigated some of that as you're figuring out how to also get a business going, like, how do you manage your days and your brain and switching gears between momming and being a business owner?

Yeah, that's such a great question. One thing that I've loved about podcasting is that I've been able to meet so many moms and found this common thread that very many of us start a business after having kids, and I think that that's not a coincidence. I think having a flexible schedule and being able to flex and flow as your family grows or as life happens, while also being able to do that with your business is a very common thread that I've started to notice. So I think with that, my big thing is, like, I'm operating without a roadmap. I didn't really have an intention of starting my own business. I didn't really know. I knew I wanted to do something entrepreneurial, but never had a thing that I wanted to do. So it wasn't until I got let go of my job that I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna take this leap of faith and see what happens. And so from the very beginning, I've just been winging it. And at first I was so obsessed with, like, I need some systems. I need to figure out, like, how to run a business, what am I doing? And I was able to kind of utilize the way that my brain works to formalize some routine for myself. I guess I was after having a year after having my son was diagnosed with ADHD, and took a huge year of learning how my brain works. And I'm kind of taking the same approach with my business, and that my brain works in a really specific way, and I have to figure out how to work with that. And so with my business, there's constantly ebbs and flows, and we have a sick kid that has to be home, and so I'm home with him during the day, and I'm working during nap time or we're on vacation, so my week ahead of that is slammed. So I think the flexibility of being able. To meet your life where it's at and kind of mold your business to do that. I think it comes in starting small and working your way up. I know a lot of moms are not sure how to start their own business and are like, I can't just quit my job and start tomorrow. And I think

that that's a really good first step to being like, Okay, where can I fit this in in my life now and then, when you're able to scale up to be like, All right, I can quit my full time job, you already have that set of expectations that, like, I can be very flexible and fit this in where I need and can. So I think just that flexibility piece all around has been key for me.

Oh, yeah, I agree. I think that was my primary reason for starting a business, and probably a lot. But then then there's, like, flexibility has is like a double edged sword, right? Because, like, yep, well, I can do whatever I need to do, and also I can do whatever I want. And you're like, Oh, well, I don't feel like starting work until 10 today, or, like, I had to work myself into 9am is a fine start time because, like, I used to have to start work at 7am and so now I'm, like, not having to push myself, and I'm not a morning person. So these are, like, the little things we have to navigate ourselves. And I think there's something else in what you were just saying, which is, everybody's going to do it differently, right? And so there's so many layers. When you start a business, there's how do I run a business, and there's how do I get clients, and there's how do I deliver on the thing that my business does? And it's like, which one of those things are you going to focus on, first or systems for actually getting yourself to do stuff in the first place, and kind of identifying what that sort of big Domino is for you that's going to help move the rest of those things. So do you have any insights on on that and how you figured that out for yourself?

Yeah, I would say it's still a work in progress. Something that I have found about myself is that I'm a huge procrastinator, and I will be the first to admit I put everything to the last minute, which in my school years was a negative, but now I've kind of turned it into a positive that I'm like, here's the deadlines. I have them all laid out on my calendar. Here's what I need to get done. And it helps me prioritize really well to be like, Okay, here's the deadline. This is exactly what needs to get done this week. This is exactly when I need to do it and I have no other option. So using my procrastination and like my ADHD inattention to doing things when there's not a fire under me, I've kind of used it to make it a positive and make sure I'm doing like, really good quality work. I'm setting myself up to be able to know what I need to have ahead of time, so that I can essentially wait till the last minute to get it all done, but still make sure that it's really good quality work. And I think that being able to do those like trial and error of figuring out what works and what doesn't. I have done a million different systems. I've used a million different project management tools, and it really is just figuring out what works best for your brain and how you operate. So I think there's a bit of it is just like tuning into yourself and figuring out what works for you what doesn't and having a lot of grace with yourself to be like, okay, is my main goal being done. Am I giving the deliverable I need to to my client in the best way I can doing my best work? Was it a little bumpy along the road, maybe, but I still provided what I needed to provide to my client. So knowing that that road is going to be bumpy, I think, is kind of key.

Well, let's talk about how hard it is to just, like, understand what your own unique situation is. That's where the internet comes in and starts throwing us all kinds of curve balls. Like, well, she said I should do it this way, and she looks like she's doing it that way, and that person's like, this sort of schedule, and you're kind of being, you know, pulled by the shoulds and the other people's lives lived out on Instagram or wherever it is that you're seeing that content, and then you have to go, okay, but no, this is my path. This is my pace. Also, that was a hard one for me, that I you know, you should be, you know, getting to six figures within your first couple of years, and then after that, you need to, want to get to seven figures. And then it's like, but do I though,

yeah, and for me, it's, I will acknowledge the fact that I'm very lucky to be able to have a partner who is the breadwinner of our family, and I think that's important to mention, just because not everyone has that luxury. But for me, as someone recently asked me, like, what does success look like for you in motherhood and entrepreneurship, and for me, it's being able to be at the Fall field trip with my son in the middle of the day? What. Knowing that I'm missing three hours of work that I will have to do later in the afternoon, but I was able to spend those moments with my son and also be able to still serve my client. So I think being able to see where, like, there's so much give and take to it that I think being flexible and patient with yourself to be like, Where does this fit for me, and how does this work and for me right now, my goal isn't monetary. My goal is to figure out, what am I doing here? Like, what is my mission? What do I want to get done? And how do I do that, and build some systems for myself, workflows for onboarding clients, and just like those very small details, but focusing my attention on building a quality process so that as I do begin to scale, and maybe my son starts going to full day school, and I have a full day that I don't have to stop my work and go do pick up, or whatever it might be, when the time comes for me to really hunker down and scale my businesses. I have those things in place so that I all I have to do is focus on more clients, scaling my business. I don't know if that totally answers the question, but I think it, like you said, it's different for everybody. What success and entrepreneurship and motherhood looks like is very different for everybody, for their life season. So I feel like putting on some blinders to what everyone else is doing. Granted, I am so guilty of looking at Instagram being like, Oh, look how many followers she has, or look at what they're doing, but I think you have to

put blinders on. No two moms are alike. Nothing is going to be the same. So to compare is just nonsense.

Okay, I want to go into something that you said, because you shared that your partner, your husband, is the breadwinner, and I will replicate. What's the word I'm looking for? Same, same same. Yeah, same same. Here it does provide a little bit more flexibility in terms of you don't have that pressure. I remember, I remember feeling that pressure for a little bit. My husband got laid off, but it was very quick before he got another job. And in that time, I was like, Oh, no. What if I do actually have to be the one to get all the money and that that's more stressful. So, like, if this isn't your situation, like, know that, but I want to ask you, like, how do you feel about that, and how does that, like, play out in your mind as a mom and a business owner, like, I have feelings, and I'll share mine after, but I'd love to hear yours.

Yeah, just that there are a lot of feelings about it. I think for me, it feels like some days I'm like, I'm not contributing enough to our family, and I obviously don't want my husband to feel like I have to bring everything in for our family, and have that pressure of being the financial the guy of our family. And so I think it's very hard for me to be like, I'm wanting to do more and be more, but also I have put myself in the position to be mom, to be the primary caregiver. So I think it's, it's give and take, and it might maybe five years from now, it might look different, but right now, I'm in the thick of motherhood. I have a three year old. We're in the process of trying to have another baby. So we're in a position where the trade offs are happening, where I'm spending most time focusing on family and in the spaces I can I'm doing business, I'm doing the podcast, and like I said, maybe down the road, it'll be different, where I have more time to focus on business and podcast over child rearing. But I think it's, it's a hard position to be in to want to do more and to contribute more, but not being able to do everything all at once. I think it's, it's all about percentages. Like, right now I'm able to my son just started going to preschool. I have four straight hours that I didn't have before in the day where I can hunker down and focus on what I need to focus on, which is, like 30% of me is doing maybe 40 is doing business and podcasting, and the other half is being a mom. And right now, that just is what it is, and I'm loving it. And like I said, maybe in the future, that time, that percentage will switch from around, but yeah, it's an interesting dynamic in in our house to have that balance.

Oh, I totally feel you and I think, and I've struggled with this too, as far as my own just understanding and assigning myself value beyond just the money that comes in, because it's so much more than that, like there's so much value in the relationship that you get to build with your kids. There's value in the amount of money. That you're not spending on childcare when you're the one who's providing that there's so much value beyond there's for me, now I'm in the season where my kids are older and they're going to activities, but some of those start at four o'clock, and like, the value is that they get to have those things in their life, because I can take them there, because I have the flexibility. And so for me, it's always been about like changing how I look at that value and ensuring that making you know that between me and my husband, we are on the same page, and that that this is a valuable role too, and whether it's like creating a lot of income or not, which always changes over time. And then, just like allowing for that we signed up for this, I guess, is kind of how I look at it.

Now, yeah, absolutely. And I think the point you're making of value, I think, is really important. There's so much value to being home with your kids when you're able to, or doing drop off when you're able to. There's also a lot of value to switching up your percentages of I can focus this X amount of time on my business. I'm going to do it really well. I'm going to prioritize this because I know what my day is going to look like being a mom, and like you said, your kids are a little bit older now things look a little bit different. So I think what's key that you said was being on the same page with your partner, and maybe you can't, maybe both have to be half and half on the income. And there's value to the couple hours you're able to be mom during the day and having to work the rest of the day. There's just, I mean, assigning value how it best fits for your family is, I think that's the main point of it, yeah.

And the whole conversation here is that success is subjective, and you just define it how you define it for yourself and and really, just being able to stand in that is more challenging than people who don't have this challenge can Yes, yeah. And so this is, like, super resonant with a parent running a business is, and it's I've had this conversation. I always have this conversation when I'm talking to like, multi millionaire business owners, because, you know, you get to the point where you're like, but now you have the money, so you must feel differently. And they're just like, No,

yeah, yeah. With more money comes more work.

Don't sacrifice the things that are really important in order to get to the thing you think matters, which is the money. Don't do that like that's the cautionary tale I've heard time and time again. And you know, it's not just a luxury, it's Yeah, choice to operate your business aligned with your values, to make your decisions on the way that you show up, on what you prioritize and what you focus on, that's your choice. And so I just want to, like, acknowledge you and congratulate you for doing that, and like, let let the path be made before you like, as you're walking it right, like you said, yeah, have a step by step plan. And neither do I, neither. Yeah, we make little plans for seasons and things that seem to fit, and we just go with it and wing it. And are like, I approve of this business strategy, yeah?

And I think I'm so big, like, anytime I talk to somebody who is an entrepreneur or wants to be an entrepreneur, my advice is always to start small. Whatever that looks like for you is what it looks like for you. But for me, I was so intentional about starting small. I had a goal in mind of how many clients I wanted to have that I would feel comfortable starting out with. Would I love to have a huge Rolodex of clients. Absolutely. Am I in a place where I can serve those people? Well, absolutely not. So I think starting small, and maybe, like for me, it's in starting my business, but maybe it is for that person who is like, Hey, I got to work my nine to five. I can't just quit my job, or whatever it might be, start that side hustle in the weekends or in the night times or the early mornings and start to work out the kinks there. Just because you're not doing it full time doesn't mean that you're not making an a huge impact on your future business. You're making sure you're financially stable, which is huge, but then you're also laying that like foundational work of what your business is going to look like, and you can work out the kinks without having such detrimental impacts by simply starting small.

Yeah, yeah, when you don't put that pressure on yourself as much, I think something else that you just said there was, I lost my train of thought, but I was going to summarize that so well for you, yeah, just just taking like, little steps at a time and allowing yourself to to build that way, like it doesn't have to be okay, you have a business. So yes, we have this, like, unlimited potential shown in front of us all the time. As entrepreneurs like you could make money while. You sleep, you could have this much happen, and it could happen fast. But also it's like, I always want to know, like, how long is it going to take? And the answer is, it's going to take longer than you think, right, yeah. Like, instead of getting frustrated with that, how do we embrace that and allow, like, the journey to really be the whole experience.

Yeah, and then I think you can just enjoy it a little bit more. I think I am one to put too much on my plate and just figure it out, but I think when you're able to start small and scale small, you're able to enjoy it a little bit more. You're able to enjoy that time with your family, feeling filled and not overfilled or overwhelmed by everything you have going on with work. So for me, that was really important too, to, like, set some boundaries on myself when it came to starting small and scaling small.

Yeah, I love that. I think that's a great way to wrap up this episode, actually. So everybody please go and check out Jessica's podcast. Let everybody know where to find you and how to listen to your show. Yes.

So we are at the mama making podcast everywhere on social media, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, tik, Tok, YouTube, and you can find us wherever you you subscribe to or listen to podcasts. And then collabs creative, our digital marketing studio is collabs, dot creative on everything, socials, and you can find our websites at those too.

Thanks for being here with me today, Jessica.

Thanks for having me. This is amazing.

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