Re-energize Yourself to Solve Your Biggest Challenges in 2 Min or Less! With Hilary DeCesare

I am so excited for you to listen to this special episode today, where I have my guest Hillary deCesare. And she actually shifted my energy from the beginning to the end of this podcast in real time. So I am recording this immediately after having the conversation with Hillary. And she helps walk you through a really simple two minute process exercise that you can do anytime that you're feeling like stuck, your energy is low, you don't want to do the thing, which is like all the time, and quite honestly was my day to day I woke up this morning. It was like, I don't want to do anything. I feel like I'm cranky, and I can't fix it. And I don't know how well she tells you how. And Hillary is incredibly qualified to be talking about this because she has a background in neuro psychology. She has over 20 years in business experience. And she's worked with 1000s of entrepreneurs to help them scale up their businesses. And she's created a really unique framework called the three HQ method, which is all about helping empower midlife women to reimagine what's possible in their lives and their careers using the three HQ which are head, heart and higher self. And this is a topic that she speaks on stages and podcasts and TV shows and all the things around the world. So I was incredibly honored to have her as my guest today. I'm really excited for you to listen to this conversation to check in with Hillary afterwards because we issue you a challenge, of course, because this is the entrepreneur school podcast. And it would not be an episode without giving you a call to action, a small action that you can take and to do the thing. And also we talk a lot about music and favorite songs, and how to use those to help tune in to your own energy. So I am excited for you to listen.

This is The Entrepreneur School Podcast where we believe you can run a thriving business and still make your family a priority. This show is all about supporting you the emerging or early stage Entrepreneur on your journey from solopreneur to CEO while wearing all of the other hats in your life. My name is Kelly Sinclair and I'm a brand and marketing strategist who started a business with two kids under 3am, a corporate PR girl turned entrepreneur after I learned the hard way that life is too short to waste doing things that burn you out. On this show, you'll hear inspiring stories from other business owners on their journey, and learn strategies to help you grow a profitable business while making it all fit into the life that you want. Welcome to Entrepreneur School.

Hello, Hillary, welcome to entrepreneur school. I'm so excited to chat with you today.

Holly, this is going to be so much fun, we are going to skyrocket the energy of everyone listening.

Ah, that's amazing. You know, let's dive into that right away. Because I was doing a little bit of research and looking into what you do and how you help people. And one of the big themes that you talk about is energy. And I think this is such an overlooked, like part of success and momentum and consistency and all of it. So let's let's just talk about that for a sec.

Okay, so everyone listening who's like, oh, gosh, here we go. Again, I want you to give us what however, 30 minutes, whatever we're going to be here to be open to be open to what we're talking about, because you have a certain identity right now. And it's at your subconscious level, right? It's the subconscious level of you and your identity. And we know that your identity is all of your belief systems. So if you are not being open, and you're kind of closed off to any of these types of conversations, understand that it's just your subconscious trying to keep you safe and familiar and not let you grow. And I'm telling you right now, Kelly, and I want you to explode and grow into the most incredible version of you with your business. So that's kind of like how I always like to lead in. And the reason I like to lead in is because I grew up in the Silicon Valley. I was in the high tech world, I worked at the big, bad behemoth or call for almost 10 years. And then I left and started a consulting practice to help entrepreneurs actually grow and scale their business now. I can honestly say Kelly, that was over 20 years ago. So I have been doing the coaching thing we call the consulting the coaching thing for that Law. So after the 1000s of people I've worked with, I know this works. I also know that so many of us were taught to only operate from the logical place that head face of being very logical, do not think anything more than just the steps, the procedures, the strategies, don't go into your heart, don't go into the emotion part, and my god avoided all cost, anything that has to do with your higher self, the best version of you, they want to keep us in a box, and we are blowing up the box. That's it, because that is how people will get to be successful. So when you think about where you are right now, and whether you are stuck at a five, figure six, figure seven, figure eight figure, and you're like, God, I just can't break through this gate. I just, I've been here for so long, or maybe what I call the relaunch roller coaster, you've got a great quarter, a great month, and then you slam down to the ground. And you're like what happened, I'm doing everything. I'm doing all the same things, and it's not working. Here's what I want to let you know, there is a very fast way that we can literally access this secret tool that's within us, that you can call on you can it's like energy on demand that will directly impact your results.

I can't wait to hear this because I'm literally having one of those days today. Like I got up this morning. And I was like, Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, like I just feel cranky, and then I get frustrated because I feel like, I know that it's my own stuff. Like it's my it's within my own power to be able to shift my own energy back into a place of being, you know, excited, enthusiastic, productive, all the things I want to be. And then I'm like stuck in there. Like, what do I need to do? Do I need to like, go sniff some oil, like, I'll have another coffee. I went for a bike ride. I'm trying like all the things this morning. So you're going to share with us like a system for how to really tap into that. And you say that you do it like 25 times a day.

I and everyone who works with me once they start to do it. And by the way, everyone can master it. It's not like I've got the superpowers and you know, oh, I'll I'll maybe hand you this magic. Now. Everyone has the wand. Right now I'm handing very virtually right I'm handing you the one take it well, I got it. I got one that isn't the one. Oh god, I love that

Everyone has to know I have a want as the fairy grandmother on hand at all times. Props, props and brands love it.

So there is something that you can be doing. And it's so funny. Somebody called me the midlife fairy godmother, you know, the MF G? I'm not sure. What the acronym? Yeah, I'm not so sure about that. But here's the thing. Each and every person is ultimately the CEO of themselves and their business, whatever you're working, whether you're in corporate, whether you're in entrepreneurship, it doesn't matter. You are the CEO. And what does that mean? You are the chief energy officer. Energy has a vibration. And when you as you said, Kelly this morning, wake up. And you're like, oh, and we feel it right? We all know, when you wake up and you're like, Oh, God, my energy is so low, I'm not in a good mood. It really has nothing to do with the moment of when you're awake. It's what happened in the middle of the night in when you're dreaming and how you slept and all these things. So I can't I can't help you with what happens when you're sleeping. But I can absolutely take you to a different place once you wake up. And so I've been doing this no joke. I've been doing this for over 20 years, probably since even when I was you know, in my early 20s I would wake up and immediately start to think about what is going to be my song of the day. What's it going to what's again, again, sometimes it's like, you know, just one more roar and and I'm good to go other times it's more mellow other times it's like you know, I I've been doing some African dance other times. It's just, it's whatever comes to you. But here's the thing that's in the morning. But every time throughout the day when you have another calendar event that you're about to go do when you're about to go create a lead magnet. You're about to get on a stage. I did it right before I came on with you Kelly. You can use a process that I call tune in, tune in and it's From a larger framework that I've actually documented in my book relaunch spark your heart to ignite your life. But what I found is that three HQ, which is the framework, three HQ is your headquarters. And the age is our head, heart, highest self, head, heart, highest self. Until they're working in unison until they are working together and they are on an ever loop, you will stall out, you will feel stuck, you will feel overwhelmed, underwhelmed. It's natural. And when you identify this, you're like, Okay, well, so I came up with something that you can do in two minutes or less. And that's why you said, Hillary, you do it all the time. And I do. And my clients do it all the time. And everyone I work with, by the time they are done with their first session with me, they have already implemented it, and started to use it. And I'm gonna give it all to you and everyone listening, but I need I need assistance. I can't do it alone. So are you ready? Are you ready for a little, little coaching from Hillary? I guess I love that. So Einstein said, you can't solve a problem at the level it was created at the conscious level, right? And why is that? Because our thoughts and our emotions, when they're repeated over time, create our beliefs, and your beliefs keep you at your current identity. That's just the way your brain is hardwired. That is just the way neurotransmitters I've been studying this stuff for 10 years. Neuro psychology, all of this. That's the way we're wired. So how do we do a simple hack? How do we take this and be able to no matter what we're about to go work on, no matter if you've just had a client from hell that you've been working with? And you're like, oh, and you got to jump on to another zoom call? You're like, oh, my gosh, all you need is to be able to do this. So step one, four steps again, in the tuning process. Step one, Kelly, what is a challenge that you are going through right now with your business? What is the challenge?

Interestingly enough, and as a brand strategist, it's a bit of an external identity shift, like brand wise, so repositioning myself into a different way of talking about what I do, so that I have a better opportunity to help people. So it looks like changing my office suite. And changing the topics basically, that I talked about, because I know the brand is the underlying thing that everybody needs support with, but it's not the thing that they're searching for. So I'm trying to close that gap.

Thank you. Because I gotta tell you how many times I hear this, this is happening, this is so common right now. It's become like 95% of people are trying to adjust, trying to take your business to the next level, trying to, as you said, this external identity shift, right, that's what's necessary. Now the best part is step one is you just identify, and again, you just identified a bigger a macro, a macro issue that you have going on. So I'm going to ask you in step two, to actually think of a song tune in so that we can change your channel. Remember that whole line sign thing we can't be solving where you need to go at a low level of energy out a low vibrational that you've always heard, like, the vibe is in your tribe, the tribe, you know, you got to have a tribe with the vibe. This is what it means. This is like the nuts and bolts of it all. So what I want you to think of is a song that when you hear it, it changes your channel. You can't be low energy you are that Kelly, have your best version of you. What would that song be?

Okay, I knew what I knew I was going to have one or two and whatever was going to come out. So childhood favorites said, I'm a country music fan. For those who don't know, and I'm obsessed with 90s country in particular, because that's when I grew up. So she's in love with a boy by Trisha Yearwood. Oh, God, I love that song side note. My husband makes fun of me to this day for this, but I actually don't know how but I used to think the lyrics were she's in love for a cop did I not know the words when the song title? Is that lyrics?

Okay, this is really this is so good. So what I want you to do right now in this step to change your channel tune in you're going to tune into this song. You are literally no neuroscience again, been studying this for 10 years, I have a psychology degree along with all the business things I've done. But this is the most important. You got to take it through your body for at least 20 seconds. 20 seconds every one and I want you Kelly, think about it coming in. This is tapping into three HQ. Remember, I talked about the highest self, this energy level, I want you to take it from the top of your head. This song, I want you to bring it in, let it like wave through your body to your toes, move your body, close your eyes, hear the song in your head. Move some more Kelly, you're not.

I'm having like a visualization because I used to listen to this song on the school bus with my yellow Walkman when I was like in grade four. That's where I am right now. I'm on a school bus.

Oh, it's so perfect. And I wish you if everyone is I don't know if you're hearing it or watching this. But here's the thing. shut those eyes again and turn it up. Turn it up, make it louder, louder in your head. All right, I see a big smile. She's moving. Okay, now we're gonna go on to step three. Here's the most important thing. She now has identified a challenge. She now has identified her song she's in love with the boys. She's heard it she's had it go through her body, she's now able to tune in in step three to that song, pull it down again, she's heard it. And step three is where you create a micro movie in your mind. The micro movie is the challenge what it would look like if you if you knew the external identity, you nailed it. You have it so defined that you are living and breathing showing up on every call. And I want you to tune in again you shut your eyes you create you are the director, you are the actress in this movie, you are like you are getting an Academy Award right now. And I want the emotions of that to come through. And another neuroscience part here is I want you to identify a color a color you're wearing a color that's around you. What would be that color.

Oh, surprise, pink,

Pink. Excellent. I want you to 10 acts that pink. intensify it to such a degree that it is like just so illuminating, illuminating the emotions that you have around this image of you you're tuning back into, she's in love with a boy, you're listening, you're moving your body. And now the last step in three, step three, is you're going to anchor it in by taking an internal picture, which means when I say click, you're going to open and close your eyes very quickly taking an internal picture. Click Click, click. Alright, you have three insanely awesome pictures. It's like you've created a photo album, you've created the trailer of this incredible journey you're on now we go to step four micro action tune back into your song tune back into that song. Let it go from the head to the toes now what micro action could you take? Right now when we get off towards that mini movie? That movie that you just created? What could you do? Right now momentum? No delay.

Oh, answer you so yes, so start to me it's like part of it is starting to talk about what it is right so creating content around the new topic areas.

Okay, that's that's pretty macro that's big.

I want micro one piece of content.

I just one piece of content.

Yes. One Instagram posts.

How long will that take you?

15 minutes

15 minutes when you're done. I want you you got my email you got you can DM me? I want you to tell me done. Okay. Love it. All right. And here's here's what people ask me, Hillary. What I listen, in my head I like to always get people to be able to bring it in at any time. Let's say we're on a zoom call and the calls going longer and longer and you're like I'm losing my energy. You can tune into this and not have anyone know. But when you are by yourself when I was by myself before I jumped on to your show. I could put it on my phone I could literally dance around I could I could get into the mood. I could totally do this. So you have a choice. You could put it on your phone, put on your computer or in your head but here's the thing constantly returned into that now every time Kelly you go back to starting to think about external identity, shifting it changing it, this song is now permanently attached to this challenge. Because now you've turned that challenge into an intention into moving it into your world. And I want you to really think about before you do anything, we want to elevate you, we want to increase your energy, because that's what you're going to be infusing into your post your stories were your strategy. And that's what you'll end up attracting back to you law of resonance. How you're resonating will be what you get back in return.

Yes. Oh, what I love about that is that that sort of the exact same feeling I had going through that exercise was just like, it's actually so much less about the logistical things and the what you say and the like topic and the strategy and so much more about the energy that you put out there. And the confidence that comes along with the energy, like when you're in high vibe energy, you become more confident, I know, this is true, like, with my brain, I know. And I've seen it happen and you go through cycles of it. So like, it's almost like a reminder of a time, maybe when that did work really well. And just implementing the same thing again, and going, Hey, all I have to do is put myself into motion, and get my energy up there and take the action that I need to take. And that's going to result in the things that I wanted to.

And instead of a cup of coffee instead of trying to like okay, what am I going to do right, the second will get you there. And so if you think about the four steps, step one is your is your challenge. Step two, you change the channel. And by the way, challenge is your head. Step two is your highest self that's changing the channel, changing your energy with the song. Step three, is that micro movie that you're the star in, and again, that's emotionally connecting to the outcome, that color, it's like blowing your brain like oh, all of these different like senses and things are happening in your brain at that time. And the click is the anchor, the click the open and close. And then step four is all about bringing it back to the head. And here's the thing, Kelly, you know, my company is called the relaunch club. And relaunches are going to happen, things are gonna happen to suck up your energy to drain your energy to leak your energy. It happens. And it could happen today could happen tomorrow. But when you know that you have control, the ability to change the ability to decide, I, I pray, I'm only going to work for hours today, but my gosh, every single time I am going to be on a call to be doing something, I'm going to elevate myself and then you know what? Later when I'm dealing with this issue, and by the way, you can do the same thing. I can't tell you I asked you for business but so many people are like Hillary, you know, I got a sick mom a sick kid, I got you know, some real financial situations that are happening. I've got you know, empty nest, I'm doing this and it can it can help you across any of the areas.

Yeah, cuz right away, I was like, How do I apply this to not getting frustrated with my kids when it's time to do chores, or, you know, at dinnertime or whatever it is basically the time when I pick them up, and they're like I want to play and then I go upstairs and find out that their laundry has been all over the floor for a week.

So I want to I want to say one thing, it's really fascinating. There is a great study that was done on monkeys. And it was looking at a monkey that had a peanut. And there was another monkey sitting there that didn't have a peanut the monkey was looking at the monkey with the piano and the monkey was cracking the peanut and then eating. And what happened was the monkey who was watching when they put scans into the brain, they saw that the same type of benefit the same sparks that were happening in the brain that happened to the monkey who was so excited the dopamine, the all these great things that were happening. The second monkey was having it happen to even though it wasn't eating the peanut. Why is that? called mirror neurons mirror neurons. So as you are doing something and elevating your energy, right, you will often walked into a room and you could just feel the energy that's so bad. Instead of lowering yourself to that energy. What we want to do is elevate ourself with tune in, to not go down to their level, but instead have the mirror to your level. And that's the exact premise around so when you're Kids, you know, are like, Oh God, I have to go. And I've got I've got five kids, I got three of my own two step kids. I mean, it's like a modern day. But you know, Brady Bunch, I want you to really think about before you even go into the room with these kids. Use the tune in process. What is the outcome that you're really going for? What would be that micro step? elevate yourself when you go in there versus the opposite, which most of us do is dread it. Oh, my God, Ah, here we go. And then you walk in. And it's like, it's kind of the blame and shame, low energy, that's actually a vibrational level of about 20 on the vibrational level of energy, versus if you come at it from this, Hey, I'm excited about this, we're gonna get we're gonna make this happen. You're now our love is over 500 on the vibrational scale,

You know, someone you're saying that, like, I can hear the objection going, Oh, that sounds like that'll take so much time. But I love that you're like, this will take two minutes to do the tuning process. And I also realized, as you were speaking right there, like, it actually takes more time and energy to dread. And to like, anticipate and, and carry those negative feelings into something.

You know, how many people have we can't see your hands raised? But how many people like to do the dishes? Or like to empty the dishwasher? Or you know, anything? Well, I'm not I'm not I'm much more of a dishwasher than a cook. But here's the thing

Opposite in my house.

When you when you look at how much time it actually takes to empty a dishwasher. It takes less than 90 seconds, 90 seconds yet we sit there like Oh, I gotta do this. I gotta do this. If we change it, we call it the relaunch flip. And we say, all right, 90 seconds. Same thing with your kids. We're only going to do this for two minutes. How much can you get done in two minutes? Yeah, all of a sudden, it's like, wow, that's it, guys. Today, we're only going to do a two minute cleanup. Can you handle two minutes? Let's put the timer on, bro. It's amazing how much we we think things into existence that they're going to be like, Oh, God, this is going to be so awful. I gotta talk to this employee. I gotta talk. I gotta deal with this today, where you're already setting yourself up for the heaviness, the energy attached to that instead saying, You know what? I'm going to give this five minutes of my time I'm going to tune in before, here's the outcome that I want. Do it let me know everyone listening? Get on over to the relaunch code on Instagram. Let me know I love highlighting people's success stories here. Because it does. You'll learn it you'll do it maybe once or twice today. And obviously you're like, huh, I have a one of my coaches. And I was teaching her about the tune in process. And I got a call from her saying, I gotta tell you, I literally channeled my inner Hillary and tuned in when I was going up against something and she's like, Hillary, it works. Like keep doing it and then it becomes a habit and right.

And how fun because you can if you know you could literally be having dance parties that many times a day. I have dance parties all the time with myself. So yes, and I wanted to ask you what was your song today?

Right before I came on? So I have to say there's one that I use for all the shows and it's I don't even know if you know this Helen reddy I am woman and there is like it's like I am woman hear me roar. Yeah, and old school song it's like a anthem for women to go out and move and take action if you read a word please everyone Helen ready I am woman. And the reason I do this for every show on every podcast, is that it immediately there is a line in there that says I am invincible. I am strong. And then there's this whole thing that says you can bend but never break me because you'll only serve to make me more determined to achieve the final goal. And my goal my action is I want to make sure that what I'm saying in the tuning process resonates with each and every single person out there listening. So it's one that I can do boom I go to the song but it is funny because I'm the other day I was asked and I didn't I always use it but there was something that had happened right before on a call so I knew I needed to add like a little extra and this song remember that song you put the lime in the coconut that you know and mix it all up. You put the well I somehow I'm just like Aquino to my heart. So Hold on What song do I need before this next one? And we move on. And then the woman said, What song did you did you choose before? And I'm like, Okay, I'm actually really embarrassed right now. But legit. I chose this song. She started laughing she's

Yeah, you just needed a giggle you knew something silly or something at that time? I did. Yeah, I love that.

But normally, I really encourage people have your handful of five songs, if you're doing something that is core to your business, have it be one song, if you're doing something that is, you know, communication, do another song. And you're gonna start to find that throughout the day, you're like, What do I need right now. And again, you can do it when you're walking, you can do it as you're, you know, if you're walking, if you're going to the bathroom, if you're it is the greatest thing, you can just kind of like, I'm here, I'm doing it. And we're eventually you know, and you're initially when we did it, it took probably three, four minutes if we went back and listened. But you'll get to be so good at it that it's like 60 seconds, and it changes everything. If we could track with KPIs or key performance indicators that we put out there for every area of your business, if we can track this against the tuning process, it would be like the hockey stick. It's that impactful.

Love it. Yes. And I mean, you could go on and on about the science behind like, connecting things in physically moving your body and bringing it all together like that. So definitely support this definitely is such a good reminder, this whole conversation of things that I was like, I used to do that way more. And now I like don't. So why, why actually, that gives me one more question for you. So this is a thing that you say that you do repeatedly all the time. How do you approach that so that you don't feel like it's a monotonous habit, that you just do a lot? Because I find Sorry, I'm gonna just expand on that for a second. I find sometimes like, I get into a habit of something like, Oh, I'm doing like a morning gratitude practice where I'm journaling something or I'm doing this or that. And then after a while, and sometimes it's a long time, I'll be like, I did that for two years. And now I don't want to do it anymore. Like how do you keep it going?

So let me ask you will the song she's in love with a boy ever not make you feel like that little girl on the bus?

Yeah, no, that's, that's such a good point. This is a different part of it,

light you up, Ignite, you spark, you are going to continue to spark you music. That's why I don't say use the same song 25 times a day, like have a little variety. Like I know, it's like color coding your calendar. On one I'm focused on this type of, you know, work, I'm going to color coded so you can see it at the end of the week. This is the same principle. I like to say, they fall into buckets, your different types, where you automatically call it in and you know, how do I make it non monotonous? My God I like I'm excited. Because in you know, 15 minutes from now I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna make my own as you said, my own little like, you know, dance, right? I get into the dance zone. It is my power song. These are power songs for you. And when you hear and when you start to feel like you know, hey, it's lost. Here's another song incorporate that one in. I mean, there was a for a long time I used Hallelujah. And I mean, I hear it, it was her, you know, specifically an area that I needed. My mom was, my mom was dying of cancer. And I really felt like I had to kind of connect. And I used it and then my dad got sick and he passed away. Pretty soon after my mom, I'm like, oh boy, who relaunches are really hitting massively. And I realized that the second time as I'm really trying to tune in, I didn't want to incorporate that same song with my dad. So okay, I'm going to tell you the song that I use from from my dad until he passed and I still kind of like tune into him via this way. It was Kenny Rogers, the gambler? I don't know. I mean, that's like country, but That's old school country. And you're like, like Hillary all the songs are so old. No, I do have like, I find I use unstoppable I use, you know, some of the new the newer songs and I do change them out. But it is funny. I go back to the ones that really, that really resonate with me.

Oh, it's so good. Okay, so this is my call to action for listeners. We want to hear what your songs are like. Let's have that conversation. So get into the DMS I'm sure Hillary wants to hear them. Do what I definitely want to hear. Please send us message tells what your song is, that's the first step. In figuring out like your solution, you're getting yourself into that energy of being able to solve whatever problem you're having in whatever area of your life.

And if everyone is like thinking, Okay, this, this whole three HQ, and you want to know more about where you are, we have the easiest shortest quiz that will give you a pie chart and give you like a little short video to help you as the leader, as the CEO of your business, the entrepreneur, and it literally walks you through so that you can become open to taking that first step. And you can find it just on our website, the relaunch.com.

Amazing, and I will have the link for that in the show notes, as well as all the ways that you can find and connect with Hillary, do you have any final words that you want to leave people with? I feel like you are geared up with a motivational, inspirational message here.

You know, we all have the ability to be our own powerhouse of possibility. Right? And the thing is, is that we are never, never actually told or never allowed to kind of go there and realize how powerful we are inside of us. And imagine if everyone followed all these courses, all these programs, the steps, right one to 25, one to 100, we're going to take you through all this, everybody would be cracking the code on success, cracking the code to be a 678 figure, earner. But here's the thing, there's something missing. And it's literally called three h q. And when you agree that today, you're going to relaunch today. Today's your day, today's your day to learn more about your own power source. So again, take the quiz, therelaunch.com Take the quiz, and it's a great place to start your journey. Thank you so

much for sharing all of this wonderful wisdom today. I feel I have had an absolute energy shift since we started having this conversation. So right away, there's my testimonial that this works. And I didn't even like get fully into a dance party. I was anticipating how excited I will be when I do one after this conversation. So thank you so much, Hillary, I look forward to staying in touch with you as well.

Kelly, thank you.