Tessa Alburn shares Helping Coaches Sell by Using Skills You Already Have in a New Way | DFS 378

Jennifer, welcome to the destined for

success podcast. I'm your host, Jennifer Takagi, and this

podcast used to be called new manager media manage ride from

the start, many of the concepts are the same, but there's a

little shift. There's a shift, because I know we are all

destined for success, and I want to help you find the fastest,

smoothest way to reach your highest best as quickly as

possible. Join me in today's episode where you're going to

come up with new ways to build your skills and influence others

to make the impact you desire to make. I look forward to

connecting with you soon. Welcome to Destin for success.

I'm your host, Jennifer Takagi, and today I'm circling back to

an old friend, Tessa Lynn album, Auburn album, burn.

We're such good friends, and I can't believe you

did that.

I know Kimberly crow literally introduced me the

other day. Is Jennifer Takagi. I traveled the world with that

woman, and I know I was like,

you just did that. Like you just did that strange.

We'll just go with Tessa and call it good, and

nobody can know who you are, although I'll put all the show

notes, I'm just saying I love it. So you've made a shift in

your talk. So I'm excited to have you back on the show,

helping, bringing or helping coaches sell by using skills you

already have in a new way. I need this, so please tell me

what to do.

Everything. Jennifer, just do everything.

No,

do everything. I'm writing it.

Go ahead and do nothing. There will this is an

advice for today, do everything and do nothing, right?

And I, you know, are you familiar with human design

slightly? Yes, me too, just enough to be dangerous. I'm a

projector, so apparently I'm supposed to sit back, look cute,

and people hire me.

There you go. Yeah, why not make it work for

you. That sounds great. I'm a generator, so I've got to like

work, work for it, but it's part of my calling. My soul calling

is like. So I was asking myself, What is the next level of growth

for me and I, and I had two amazing people in my life say to

me, Well, you know, there's this area where you've been very

successful that you never talk about, and it has to do with

your sales skills. And I was like, oh, what? I could never

talk about that. I don't know. You know, I mean, I did to a

small extent, because I had bits. I've had business clients

over the years, and, of course, we always talk about sales, but

I could never have seen myself as a sales success coach,

unless, if it weren't for these two amazing people who cut

through it all and said, like, we've been waiting for you,

let's be partners now.

You're like, Okay, I'll step into that. Yeah,

all right. And I was looking, though, on like, a

deep level, like what is the next level of growth for me? And

I think that is something that's important to all coaches now.

Most of the people I'm working with right now are emerging

coaches, so they don't have that issue. They're just trying to

get going and not go out of business and not be burned out,

or feel ashamed that they haven't made a lot of sales and

what, but once they are successful and they've been

around a while, or they've been trying to be around a while,

trying to have a successful coaching business, sometimes we

really do have to look. I wasn't going to talk about this, but

that's what's coming up. We have to look and ask ourselves, what

is really the next level for me? Is it like, you know, doing an

evergreen program, or doing another retreat, or doing a

super retreat and coordinating a bunch of people to do a bunch of

retreats like, No, I had to go beyond that at the idea of who I

thought I was and when I did that, and I really looked at

things honestly, then I could say, you know, what really is

important about this next level, level of growth for me, and

claiming the area of sales, and, you know, business coaching on a

different level. Is it really serves my mission, and it's

always just pained me. Jennifer, to see how many there's just

still that horrible number, 82% of new coaches fail within two

to three years. And people don't talk about this because, you

know, the coaching industry, the certification programs, they

don't know what to do about it. That's not their business. They

don't teach people sales. They teach people to become a coach.

And so then everybody gets out there and they're like, What do

I do? And then they just start taking this class and that

class, and it's all either the same rhetoric or and it's just

words, but not actual skills, or it's do exactly what I do. But

that will never work, and you can't be authentic doing what

somebody else does. And so my calling is to teach people to be

authentic and sell, and, of course, to make friends with

that word sell. Like most people don't even admit to themselves

that they have a sales call. They call it a discovery call,

right? And it is a discovery call, but it's more than that. A

discovery call must include an offer, not a I wish I made an

offer, or, you know, some variation on that, but it needs

to include the offer, because otherwise we're doing a

disservice to the person who's on the other side of the Zoom

screen.

I love that, and I have to circle back for

one second. Yes, I'm taking mad notes. I can see that people are

like, Why are you looking down? I'm taking notes. I got my pad

right here. So when you said, new coaches fail within two to

three years. I have an online friend. I call her a friend, and

we were on a call one day, and she looked very teary eyed, and

I was like, what's going on? And she said, I have to quit my

entrepreneurial journey and get a job, because we have bills to

pay, and I need to get them paid off quickly. And so we had a

nice conversation about it, and I didn't want to guilt trip her

say, oh my gosh, you have such great skills. How could you give

up like I was, I had to force myself to be the supportive

friend for her decision. And she, all of a sudden, showed up

on social media again, and I texted her, and I was because,

like, we have each other's phone numbers. And I was like, Oh my

gosh, I saw your post. What's going on? And we had a quick

call, and she said, Oh no, I had a clear goal. I had this bill. I

wanted to get paid off and paid off quickly. So getting a job

was the easiest, and then I wanted to pay for this and

keeping the job a little bit longer than originally planned,

took care of that, and as soon as that was done, I left and

dove back into my entrepreneurial journey. And I

said, you're probably the first person I've ever heard of who

came back. So kudos to you, because I don't think that

happens very often. And she was like, you're probably right. So

I can see how they could fail. I can see how, like, at some

point, it's like, I gotta pay for the coaching I hired. I

gotta pay for that program that got me the certificate that I

have no clients for. So it's critical. It's critical. I heard

somebody say the other day, I don't really need to make that

much money. And so I had to pipe in and say, You just said you

wanted to make a huge impact in the world. What's the easiest

way to make an impact by sharing money with the organizations

that mean the most. So we have to sell we have to make the

money I like having lights and internet and air conditioning

that matters a lot to me. So yes,

indeed, we really do. You know you're touching on

this concept of making friends with money, right? And so for so

long in the self development arena, self personal growth,

healing, for sure, I was just talking about that with somebody

else. And you know, it's been somehow these things are taboo.

They're they're, they supposedly didn't go together like a good

person. Can't possibly be out there making a lot of money. And

so then we have to question the ones that are and but we or

idolize them, but we can't integrate it into who we are.

And so understanding that a sales conversation or discovery

call, whatever you're calling it, that conversation is an

opportunity to serve someone, and I don't mean just so they

feel a little. Bit better about themselves, and they go away

forever that's not serving them, that's giving them a band aid,

but serving them to their greater being by really getting

them, really listening and then seeing, discovering, does your

method? Will that support them, and if so, confidently, offering

it to them and being able to communicate what it is you do in

a way, they will understand it enough to say, yes, I want that.

Because when, when they come up to that gate, that door, and

there's a possibility of going through to the other side and

actually getting the mentorship they need. But if they can't

walk through that door, they go back. I've seen it happen over

and over again. What they do is they'll go out, they'll get some

free gift from somebody or from somebody else, and they'll be

collecting free gifts are watching YouTube's forever, and

they're spiraling down and down and down, feeling worse and

worse about themselves and their situation. So that is a

disservice. We have to show up confidently and clearly in what

it is we provide once we have created a safe space for that

person to show up with what they really need.

Okay, so what's my next best step? Little missy,

well, it depends on where you are. What's your

next best step? But that's that's what you're leading

somebody to want to understand they don't know what their next

best step is, right? So we have to be able to show them what

their next best step is by sharing, by communicating first

and back up, because first it's listening. And a lot of coaches

know how to listen, but they only seem to know how to listen

when they're coaching somebody or when they're talking to their

best friend. It's the same thing. You want us to listen to

this person without jumping to something, without jumping to a

conclusion, without jumping to a position, without jumping to an

assumption, or jumping to cliches. Please don't ever just

say to somebody on a sales call, oh, you have a limiting belief

around this out of the other Please, just don't do it.

Yes, I can fix that exactly.

So the ah, I just lost my thought, Where was I

going to go with that? I just had an impulse, there's a

there's a huge misconception that somehow we're supposed to

know exactly the right thing to say, and other people know how

to say it. Other people are saying the right word. What is

that word? I've seen videos out there. Here's the right thing to

say when somebody says this, I can guarantee you it might work

once and not again, because it's not authentic. And when we take

on the words of other people, we do a disservice to ourselves. We

also do a disservice to the person we're talking with,

because they suddenly were not us, and it will also invoke an

energy that is probably not who we really are, and it dismisses

the client. So in a lot of the cases, when we use some of the

phrases that are out there that have been regurgitated for ad

nauseum, number of years, they don't work, and we turn people

off, and we give coaching a bad name. And, you know, I was

looking up a list like, what were the I forget exactly what

it was, but it was something like, what are the 10 most ill

thought of professions right now, and car salesman was

something like seven right coaching was like eight, because

it been so many coaches out there saying they can do

something that they can't, pushing people into doing

things, excuse me, I had an alarm set to be done,

apparently, and not with you. Jennifer, I think that

was sort of I had

gotten my schedule wrong. I was going to take a cat

nap. Yeah, but really being in integrity, which means

understanding what it is you do, really getting that, what is the

method, what is, what are the results that you help people

get, being able to share that information with someone who it

would benefit and if it and if, through your listening, it's not

going to benefit them, you don't give the offer. Give them a

resource instead. So to remove, proving to remove, and I'm going

to stay with this also. I'm just going to give, give some like,

here's what not to do, not to give away free coaching on a

sales call. Please don't do that either. It doesn't work. It

makes people feel better in the moment. It makes you feel better

in the moment, because you feel like, Oh, it did something. But

nine times out of 10 that person will walk away.

Wow, that is very interesting. Yeah.

So take a look at that. You know, you could look

back at some of the things that you've done, your listeners can

look back at like, some of those conversations they've had, like,

Oh, but I helped them. I gave them this tip, or I gave them

this thing. It doesn't work unless you are a pusher style

coach, and we don't want to be that we've had enough of that. I

don't know about you, but I'm like that is, I'm far beyond

that smell. I'm a mile away all those old people you know

texting me on social media don't know anything about me. That's

really ballsy of you.

How dare you step up this one woman I

literally, I try to be kind and step out of the conversations

kindly, but this gal would not back off. And finally I messaged

her, and I said, I'm so sorry. I don't even know who you are.

Would you quit making an offer to me? And she messaged back and

said, Oh, I met you through this coach, whom I do like and

respect, and so we've been friends a long time, and I

thought you sent me a friend request. I accepted it because

we were friends with the same coach and some of the same

people, but you've never once reached out to me, other than

randomly make offers to me like

so that is a huge disconnect, right? Yeah, how

could they possibly get you or know what you're going through?

Yeah, I break up.

We're not going to be friends anymore.

Yeah, I just block people. Yeah, I know. I love

that.

So number one, listen intently and don't jump

in with solutions, share and communicate what you do clearly

and concisely, and don't get free coaching on a sales call.

That's what I've taken away thus far. In a nutshell,

I like it. You listened well. Thank you.

I tried. Okay. So, for instance, I worked with

a client.

We had three sessions booked. At the end of the second session, I

said, at our next session, I'll tell you, you know, what my

offer is, how we can keep working together so that she

knew it was coming. So at the end of the third session, I

said, this is the offer. And she goes, Okay, great. Send me a

link. Well, guess what? I didn't have a link. I hadn't built it

out, so I had to spend a little time building it out. And then I

ran into a few little tech problems, because you know that

creating that invoice is never quite as easy as you think it's

going to be. And she texted me and said, I haven't gotten that

yet. Where is it? And I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I

had a tech problem, and I sent it to her, so now she has not

responded. She has not paid me to book our sessions. Do you

have a suggestion, because she's on my list today, at the end of

today to text her and say, Hey, I'm just following up. Did you

get it? Did it come through? Do you have any additional

suggestion on that, because I would love to make that sale. I

would love to work with her.

I would, yeah, I would get level up from a text,

okay, to at least a voice message, okay, so she can hear

you and your truth. Right? So she can hear the care that you

have for her. And, you know, hey, I, I was thinking of you,

and if there is, and I was thinking about, you know, the

kinds of things that you've been going through. And I, I really

love to continue this conversation. Let me know when

is good for you, like at least, just have a quick little check

in if that works something like that along those lines you got

to it depends on the context of where how you left it before,

and you know what her expectation might or might not

be, but making that voice message is going to be a big

deal, so let her know you're thinking of her, and then tell

her what you think is the next step. Perfect.

I love that, and I love I love that we need

to be friends with sales. And I literally in an energy healing

group I'm in, someone asked the question of the group, what do

you charge for a session? And people had lots of nobody put $1

amount, but everybody had lots of judgment around it. And this

one woman literally put, this is a gift, and you should not be

charging for it. And I thought, I guess you don't have

electricity, you must live off the grid and not need any money,

because that is our exchange for survival. That's, that's right,

that that's our exchange. So that was interesting. Tessa,

this has been a great conversation, and I'll, I'll be

sure to reach out and let you know when she pays that invoice.

Okay, fantastic. He's going to, all right. I mean, you

could even say in your voice message, you know, if you really

think it's about the invoice, and say, Hey, I just want to

make sure it came through. Can you let me know? And of course,

if you have any other questions, let's, let's have a

conversation, yeah, or let's touch base, right?

Yes, I love it. Thank you. All right. How does

my audience find you? I'll have it all in the show notes, but

just spit it out very easily. What?

How? Yes, go to my website with tessa.com with, I

know it.com's nine letters. Go there. Get on my email list.

You're going to get a lot of great value in the emails that I

send, I write them myself. I am not cloning it out somewhere or

having, you know, scads of people put them together for me.

I am writing them. They will have value in there. You'll get

more out of my emails than you will any social media. And then

you can see if you like it, if it's helping you, we can

continue the conversation.

Oh my gosh, I love that. Thank you so much for

being here today.

Tessa, you're welcome. Jennifer, thank you for

the opportunity, and I wish you all the best, and I wish all the

best for your listeners.

Thank you. Back at ya. Alrighty. I'm Jennifer

Takagi with destin for success, and I look forward to connecting

with you soon. Thank you for taking your time to spend with

me on this latest podcast of destin for success. Please take

a moment to leave a review. Share it with a friend and

subscribe and get the newest episodes every Monday morning.

I'm Jennifer Takagi, and I look forward to connecting with you

soon. You.