Tatiana Teppoeva shares The Human Signal layer: Turning nonverbal intelligence into your strategic advantage | DFS 376

Welcome to Destin for success. I'm your

host, Jennifer Takagi, and this is one of my favorite days. It's

pot of Palooza Day where I get to meet a lot of cool people I

may not have met otherwise and reconnect with other people I

may not have seen recently. Our guest now is Tatiana tempo, tipo

Eva, did I Am I close? Tip oeva, I didn't ask you how to say your

last name.

Good to

Nice to meet you. Thank you for being here.

And Tatiana is going to talk to us today about the human signal

layer, turning non verbal intelligence into your strategic

advantage. I'm very interested in this topic. Welcome to the

show. How on earth did you get into this?

Thank you so much, Jennifer for having me,

and I'm glad to be here, and hopefully we'll share some

interesting insights and knowledge I have with you and

your audience. So how I got into this? I was interested in

psychology, and I read philosophers since the age of

16, but I didn't go into that area back then because I'm also

a practical person, and it was not well paying job at the time

in Russia, so I went into economics. And to make this

story short, the human insights, reasoning behind our behavior,

motivations, pain points, was always interesting to me about

myself and about people around me. Why do people do things like

that and all those things around that? So when I worked at

Boeing, I was leading customer satisfaction process. When I

worked at Microsoft for 14 years, I was leading in

different areas, but all this kept in mind a human at the end.

So always worked for the human. And now I want, I wanted to do

another move to help humans directly. And those topics

somehow got back to me, or I got back to them, psychology

coaching, nonverbal communication, personality

profiling. So it's all came together, and I decided to start

my own business this year. So this is how I end up with the

what I offer.

I love that, and I love all the different

behavioral and personality styles, because in an

organization, when you figure out why that fellow employee

irritates you so much is because you just are approaching life

from a Different angle, they're not nearly as irritating.

Totally agree. And if I can add to that, that

sometimes we get offended or have painful emotions from

someone, and not only irritations, right? It can go

deeper. And with some people just feel like, Oh, it's my

person. We get along so well, I don't know why. So all those

vibes, and in those situations, especially negative ones, if we

just separate ourselves from taking it personally, and

instead we think what motivates them, what kind of personality

type is behind it, what their pain points are and things like

that. So then we understand their personality well, and we

already don't feel irritated, we don't feel offended, we don't

feel painful with communication, because we understand that it's

it's just kind of a mechanism that or engine inside of them

that is working, and our engine is different. So it's a great

point that you brought up. So it definitely something that I work

on

well, and it's it's it. There was one

particular moment in my life where we were doing disc

behavioral profiles, and this man at work, we had to work

together every month on some reports, and like, he just

would, like, irritate me, like he would walk up and I would

just immediately be triggered until I understood. And once you

understand, then everything can run more smoothly, like

everything, but you don't know what you don't know. And I love

that this kind of work is being more highlighted in the

workplace, so that we can actually do a much better job

with the whole scenario. So that's. Fascinating. Did you

create your own methodology for the human signal layer? Because

I want to hear a little bit about that. If you did,

yes, and I have a few frameworks that I

use. So human signal layer is one of them. And I also have

executive presence called when I work with individuals or teams

on elevating their nonverbal so they can project the image that

they actually would like to project, whether it's expertise,

whether it's commanding the room, where is it power, or just

general confidence and being open. So yes, I developed those

frameworks

I love that. Are you going to share any of

that with us today?

I can, of course, it's a deeper analysis

with many things involved. So for example, for body language,

I have 12 different elements that I look at when I analyze

someone's nonverbal communication, it also depends

on the goals that they have, that they come with to me, and I

can talk about how I do it, so in most of the cases, I talk

with people to figure out what their end objective like, what

is The goal? Is it just for public speaking, or do they want

to improve nonverbal communication in general? Or is

it in the family settings? Some come and would like to be more

feminine, others look for other things. So we all express

ourselves differently and different goals. I then usually

use recordings. So either we use recordings that they already

have, from meetings, from client sessions, or depending again on

the goal, or I have a mock up session with them and we run

something like a presentation or coaching a client, or whatever

it might be, then I analyze it, we meet with the client, and I

show all the nuances, because sometimes we have micro facial

expressions that we don't catch. But if I show someone, they may

see what main emotion is behind what they're projecting, and

sometimes they are surprised. Sometimes there is anger on the

face that we don't see. But in a slow motion, if we look at micro

movement, we see this, and people don't want to project

anger most of the time, right? So we start working on it. And

there are many other, like I said, 12 elements that I look at

and I inform the client. I do emphasize positive things,

because each of us has a lot of positive and what we can call

strength, oftentimes, people are not aware of them at all, and

they don't leverage them as much as they could. So we start

working of learning what their strengths are so they can use

them more, and then from whatever could be adjusted and

improved potentially, I walk and follow 8020 rule. You don't need

to fix everything. You just need to focus on top 20% that would

make up to 80% of the impact that we make on other people. So

we focus on 20% and then, of course, I listen to the client

which exact things they want to correct or which they don't.

Maybe there is something that they want to keep, and then we

work on whatever we agree on. So this is on a high level, kind of

a scheme of how I do this process with sales teams. It's a

little bit different. Like next week, I have a team at

constructions company that I'm teaching how to communicate with

their clients. It's more about reading personality. If they

have some preliminary information, how we can study it

and figure out what personality type it is, if it's walking, for

example, car dealership, right? So someone walks in, you have no

idea, no background, who they are and what their personality

type. So how to read it like that on the fly? So I then, when

they try to figure out the personality type, how to tailor

your pitch and your product and your service to this particular

personality type. And it's some people ask, Oh, is it

manipulation? From my perspective, it's not at all,

because it's win win for both sides. For example, if you speak

French, but I speak Russian. Or English with you, would you

understand me? No, and it will not be enjoyable experience for

either of us. But if I speak French to you, you speak French.

You understand me. We both win. I deliver my message and you

hear what I'm saying, right? So this is similar approach. If you

know personality type of your buyer, you can deliver

information and your offering the way they can better

understand whether it's talking in numbers or it's you will look

cool in this car. Let's have a drive, a test drive, right? So,

different approaches. So this is on a high level, those two

frameworks.

Well, I love that. And when I was learning

this kind of stuff, the teacher, the guide of this, said, when I

was in college, I worked at a as a rest, as a waitress at a

restaurant, and I always made the most tips. And everybody was

asking me, why do you know? How? What do you do? And she would

pay attention to the table. And if it was a couple and they were

having a very intimate dinner, she made herself very scarce but

available. And she would just quietly walk up and give them an

opportunity to say, I need more water or whatever. But then, if

somebody was by themselves, she would start a conversation and

find out if they wanted a little more interaction. So she got

tipped, really, basically, on how she interacted. And

literally, today, I met a girlfriend of mine for lunch,

and the waitress was trying so hard to please us that she kept

interrupting. We had a table full of food. Our drinks were

full, and she kept coming back and kept coming back. And I

thought she doesn't know how to read this table. We need nothing

from her, and she just kept coming back. So this type of

thing is so beneficial in so many ways, and I think it's

important. And you touched on this, nobody's behavior is bad.

It's just, are you getting the results that you wanted out of

your employees, out of your people you know, your customers

at a restaurant, and if you're not getting the results that you

want, someone like Tatiana can help you identify what somebody

else is seen, and then you have a choice. I'm going to make a

shift. I'm not going to make a shift. You don't have to make a

shift. Nobody's telling you you're bad, but you obviously

want to do better. We always want to do better. So I love

this conversation, and I love how you've brought it sounds to

me like multiple modalities and multiple ways of viewing

behaviors together in your signature process that's so

beneficial.

Yeah, thank you, Jennifer, and I love your

example, because everyone been to restaurant, and I think

everyone experience those two situations when they make you

more comfortable, or if they make you uncomfortable, right?

And eventually it's reflected on the tips. And we can also think

about similar situations that work and family or somewhere

else. So it's awesome. One thing I would like to add that

oftentimes those waiters, like those first example, intuitive

person, or maybe someone gave a hint. Sometimes people are born

more because, again, we don't know her personality type, but

maybe it was Empath, Empath they have. They feel people around

them. So maybe it was that type of a person, but in the second

case, they don't know what kind of wrong, right, what they are

not doing, because nobody taught them that. So it's awareness,

awareness of why it may not be working, or awareness of

professionals like me, who can actually help. So sometimes they

would like to change something, but they just don't know what

exactly they should be doing and what the problem is. Like they

did their best, they came to your table 25 times right, like

they put all the effort they could, and it still didn't work.

They didn't get good tip, or they saw irritation, or maybe

they even didn't see irritation or discomfort that they caused

for you, because they can't read. They didn't learn to read

faces and behavior and body language. So of course,

awareness and looking interviews. Areas are really

helpful in any situation, right?

And it happens in in the workplace too, like

the same type of thing, you walk up on a conversation that's

already going and going well, and you want to insert what you

have to say, but you may not have realized that you're

literally interrupting a pretty deep conversation, right?

Because this is that awareness. I wrote that I'm an avid note

taker, and I wrote that down and I circled it. It's like, yeah,

awareness. That's, are you aware of what's going on around you?

Are you aware of how people are perceiving you? If you just pay

attention a little bit, you can kind of get that you're not

coming across as their cup of tea. It's kind of it becomes

pretty evident that you're it's not going well,

yeah, and I can give you an example about a

coach who lost her long term client, and she came to me

asking about her expertise, what she's projecting out there. She

mostly meets her customers on Zoom and ask, also ask about

this long term client, if I had any insight. So I worked with

her, on her non verbal, gave her recommendations, and we also

looked at the recording. She had the recording with her client.

So it was obvious to me as an expert, that she brought up some

topics that client was not comfortable with at all. She

misread science, and she started talking even more and deeper

into this topic, and made this client even more uncomfortable,

and she kept going, and it eventually broke trust and

relationship between them. So I showed her those signs that she

missed, and she's like, how could I miss it? But

unfortunately, this happens if we don't pay attention. So this

happens in my work as well. So we not only work on how we show

up, but also how we read other people, it's also important to

catch your signals timely

well, and in this day and age, which I think

this really goes back to the beginning of time, but like it,

because to me, it seems even more important now, if You're

not aware of how you're coming across to others, then you can't

have the positive interactions that you're hoping for. And you

walk into that car dealership, and if that sales person is all

over you, and you're truly just looking it's like offensive. I

went to buy a car one time, and it was August in Oklahoma. It

was so hot, it was, like over 100 degrees. And I said, Well,

I'm interested in looking at this car. And the salesman had

to go inside and leave me standing there in the heat and

get the keys and come out and unlock the car. And I said, and

then he got in it to, like, point out stuff. And I was like,

Could you start the car and get some air moving? And so I came

home and I told my husband, even if we buy that brand of car, I'm

not going to buy it there, because, like, there was no

customer service. I am in business clothes and hose and

pumps at the time, because this was a few years ago when you had

to wear pantyhose every day in a dress. I was burning up, and he

was completely oblivious. And I may or may not have ever bought

that car, but I wasn't going to buy it from him, and I wasn't

going to buy it at that dealership. Like, pay attention

to what's going on around you. It makes a big difference.

Tatiana, I love getting to know you and what you've put

together. How do people get in touch with you? What do you have

going on that our audience might need to touch base with you?

I have a free guide on five tips for power and

presence. So I can share this link with you. People can

download it for free if they would like. And I also have

website where they can read more and get in touch with me. It's

Tatiana tippaiva.com I can also share it with you so and of

course, they can search for me on LinkedIn by my name, oh, on

LinkedIn also. Okay, great. So all this will be

in the show notes, and most of our listeners are often

listening on their phone, and all you have to do is scroll

down and tap to get to get the links. The links will all be

there for you. This has been a great conversation. Thank you so

much for being here and being on the show. Do you have any final

words for the audience so that they can step into even more

success than they dreamed possible? Sure.

So one thing I would say that non verbal is at

least 50% of our communication. So please be aware of that. And.

Awareness is a big thing as we talk today. If you would like to

see how you do simple things that you can do yourself is to

record yourself and watch the recording. The problem with it

is that oftentimes we don't see our own repetitive gestures and

things that we would like to avoid. For some reason, humans

don't see it. So if you feel comfortable, you can show it to

your friends or family members, but be careful. Not every

feedback is objective. Let's put it this way, and also pay

attention to peoples and signals around you. Try to read it and

when you communicate with someone, don't mimic people, but

mirror. If it's a fast pace, maybe you would like to speed up

a little bit and make your gestures flowing faster. If it's

slow pace, slower movements, then maybe you can adjust and

also be slower and speak slower so you go in tune with another

person. So those would be my top tips for today.

Oh, those are awesome. Thank you so much for

sharing and thank you for being here today.

Thank you, Jennifer for having me, and I

hope it was helpful for your audience.

Oh, absolutely. I'm Jennifer Takagi, and I look

forward to connecting with you soon. You.