Release the Spin Cycle of Overthinking and Lead with Calm with Angela Nelson

Yay!

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All right, here we go.

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Hello everybody, welcome back.

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This is the Collaborators Unite podcast.

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Chuck Anderson here, your host.

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And this is the show for big impact experts like you who with your coaching program or

your consulting or your whatever service it is that you provide, your goal is to make the

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biggest possible positive impact in the lives of your clients, in your community and

possibly even the world.

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and on that mission to make a big impact.

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You're gonna have questions, you're gonna have challenges, there's gonna be things you're

going to want to accomplish.

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And one of the byproducts of being on that mission is the tendency to wanna overthink

things, to overanalyze things, and sometimes even get stuck in that analysis.

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I know I've been there before.

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And uh so today's conversation is gonna be all about that.

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And I have coach

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Angela Nelson here with me today.

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Angela, welcome to the program.

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Hello Chuck, thank you so much for having me on the show.

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It's a pleasure to be here.

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Well, it's a long time coming and I know that you and I have had numerous conversations

about this and it's finally time to record it and get it out to the world and have this

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conversation make a big impact as well.

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So pleasure to have you on the show.

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Let's start a little bit about your background and how it led, how, you know, and we'll

dive into the conversation, but.

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you know, tell everybody a little bit more about you, what you're doing and how it came to

be that you're doing that and we'll go from there.

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Awesome.

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Well, thank you so much.

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Well, I'm Coach Angela Nilsson and I'm a certified mindset coach and life coach and

hypnotherapist.

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And the story of how I became this is a long story, but I'm going to make it a little bit

shorter for you.

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So I'll tell you, first of all, what I do is I work with high performing.

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gosh, my goodness, pardon me.

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High performing.

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Let me try that again.

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Hello.

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Hi, I work with high performing entrepreneurs.

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to stop the spin cycle of overthinking.

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Because a lot of times, like Chuck said, it can make you feel stuck.

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And you feel like you are just spinning, or maybe just running in place and getting

nowhere.

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And so that's where I come in to help you gently release the overthinking, pause that spin

cycle so that you can lead with clarity, confidence, and calm.

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That sounds wonderful.

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Especially that last part, the confidence and calm.

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I know I've had times in my business where I felt the opposite of that.

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And I think we all go through that, the ups and downs of being a business owner, as well

as being a coach and being there for our clients, but it's really hard to be there for

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yourself as well.

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And so it can be really good to talk that through with somebody or to collaborate with

someone who can see it objectively.

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uh So I wanna ask you first of all, who's coming into your world uh looking, saying,

Angela, I need help with this.

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Here's where I'm at.

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What are you hearing from them?

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What is the struggle?

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What is the obstacle that's sort of standing in their way of where they wanna be?

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my goodness.

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Well, resoundingly, it is feeling stuck.

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They feel like they are doing all the things, checking all the boxes, and they're

constantly on the go.

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But for some reason, when they come to decision making, they feel like they're paralyzed.

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Or they feel like they are second guessing everything.

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Is this good enough?

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Is this the right decision?

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Am I doing it right?

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What will they think?

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Am I doing what they want me to do?

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You know, it's a lot of external pressures that we allow upon ourselves, where we get

stuck in our head, what I call the spin cycle of overthinking, second guessing, and

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basically not trusting yourself is what it comes down to.

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And that's kind of like, I was going to share my story of how I came here is I was in a

high pressure sales position.

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I was always on the go.

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When I wasn't doing that, which I loved because I was able to meet people from all over

the world.

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And I just, thrived in that environment and I'm five five.

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It was a male dominated industry.

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Most people were six five, you know?

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And so I felt like I had to come out of my shell and speak up and stand up and demand to

be heard.

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And it really helped me break out of my shell as a very, what I used to say,

excruciatingly painfully shy person.

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And when I wasn't doing that,

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I was volunteering in many capacities for two hiking groups.

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was a trail lead and then I was also a trail crew leader with a national park service

leading river cleanups and also on ski patrol.

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So I was always on the go and I said yes to everything and everyone except for myself.

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And when you don't listen to your body, when you don't listen to your inner wisdom,

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It starts from whispering, tapping you on the back, to whacking you upside the head.

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I mean, it will continue to get louder and louder and louder.

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And maybe you have pain.

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That's what happened with me.

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My church, if you will, was the outdoors.

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Still is.

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When I'm hiking, it offset that high pressure sales job that was inside trade shows and

conferences.

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all the noise, all the external stimuli.

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And that's what I loved, but I had to offset that.

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loved the outdoors just as much, hiking, rock climbing, rappelling, whitewater rafting,

you name it.

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And then I was sidelined by not one, but two autoimmune conditions that, and when I say

sidelined, that's the long story part, I'll make it short.

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I suffered for years, went on what I call the merry-go-round of medications.

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This didn't work.

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Had tons of side effects though.

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Oh, but now we've got another medication, but that doesn't work, but it has tons of side

effects.

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We went on and on and on until I lost my mobility.

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I was bedridden.

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I was told I would need a wheelchair.

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I need to file for disability.

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And I was told that the last step was a form of chemo.

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It was methotrexate, if anybody knows about that and the horrific side effects that that

has with it.

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And the doctors looked at me and said, there's nothing else we can do.

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There's nothing.

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And they basically sent me home and said, we'll try to manage your pain.

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So I went from being constantly on the go to sudden, well, I say suddenly it happened over

years, but to be being unable to move, even unable to open the pain meds, even though was

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a pop top, not a child safety cap.

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I mean, it was just the complete opposite.

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And I thought my life had ended.

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And in all aspects, pretty much it had.

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I wasn't able to do anything anymore.

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And that's when the pandemic hit, the global lockdown, everything shut down, right?

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And it's kind of like, okay, well, what can I do with this?

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Well, I can't work.

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Even if it didn't shut down, I can't work because my hands weren't.

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functioning.

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My hands looked like claws.

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I couldn't stand without assistance.

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I couldn't sit without assistance.

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And then the list goes on.

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Everything was failing and I was dying.

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And in that time of going from rush, rush, rush, go, go, go, always on, I had to stop.

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I had to pause.

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I had to listen.

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I had to pray.

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then I prayed like I've never prayed before, that God saved me because I couldn't go on

that trajectory that I was going on.

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was downhill fast.

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And I said, if you save me, let me know why.

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What it is you want me to do.

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And so I have followed that path.

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And so from trade show sales, high pressure to listening to the inner voice, listening to

the inner wisdom and the knowledge and having that pause, if you will.

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Mine was a complete stop.

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but you can have a gentle pause.

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You don't have to do it like I did.

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And just listen and be, instead of always going, just be present.

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Allow yourself to heal.

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That's what I had to do.

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And then everything that I learned, I said, I can't keep this to myself.

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I've got to share it.

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The next thing I know, I'm coaching.

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I'm coaching and I'm like, what?

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Complete recovery, 100 % mobility regained.

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My doctor said she doesn't understand how I went from one of her sickest patients to her

healthiest patient.

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And I've shared with her what I've done.

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And she's like, it's a miracle.

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And I'm like, we all have that potential within us.

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We all have that potential.

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It's there because God created us in his image and miracles do happen and they still

happen.

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You just have to listen and reconnect with yourself.

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And so that's why I work with entrepreneurs because that's what I became.

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I left that corporate world and became an entrepreneur because I wanted to, you know, have

control of my, and maybe control is the wrong word, but have flexibility in my time to

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where as I was healing, you know, I had to have time to rest and recuperate into the world

I was in previously.

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There was no time for that.

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And then time when I could go and I could, you know, work and be a thriving community

member again.

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And so coaching gave me that flexibility.

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And now it's so funny because our tendencies, we go back to what we know.

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I ended up becoming again, falling into the patterns of perfectionism, overthinking,

second guessing.

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I was fearful of getting on the camera with zoom.

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I was like, my gosh, because that's not natural.

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It's not natural to have a camera in your face, right?

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And I had spoken with people in person, but when it came to this, was just, felt the uh

inner shy girl was coming back out.

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And so I have worked through that and I found that inner knowledge.

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And that is what I share with my clients so that they can be their authentic, wonderful

self.

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and share that message that the world needs to hear because we all are here for a reason.

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That was my lesson.

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I'm here for a reason to share something.

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I went through what I went through so that I can help others have inspiration.

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I hope I inspire.

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I hope I help you have hope and know that even when someone tells you there's nothing else

we can do, you don't have to listen to that because mindset is everything.

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I love so much about your story, Angela, and what you just described.

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First of all, absolutely see the miracle in that.

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And yes, those miracles do happen.

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And I have heard, I've also witnessed multiple miracles happen.

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And one of the things after interviewing well over a hundred coaches is that there is a

story arc.

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And that is,

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Here's what was happening.

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Here is the turning point or the transformation that happened.

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Here's the other side of that.

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And on the other side of that healing, I was inspired or called to coach and help others

on their journey.

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And what you just told was exactly that.

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And so I love.

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so much about that.

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And I'm always fascinated that on the tail end of a healing journey, and you know, I think

our audience can resonate with this too, it's because going that step further is like, I'm

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grateful for what happened to me and, or what I was going through and I want to help

others on their journey.

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And that's where this big impact idea comes from.

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And when we talk to coaches, it's like, yes, I want to make a living doing what I'm doing

and the money needs to be there.

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But when you ask them their number one value system is not the money, it's making a big

positive impact in the lives of others, right?

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And that's what I just heard you share.

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uh What was, so during that transition and as you were getting into your business and

deciding on the impact that you wanted to make, what were some of the thought processes,

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what were some of the things you went through that...

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uh

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inspired you?

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I mean, I know you really focus on this overthinking and all of that.

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And did you go through any of that yourself as you were uh making the transition and

getting your coaching business going?

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Absolutely.

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my gosh.

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Absolutely.

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And I would venture as far to say everybody does and that it is perfectly normal.

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We are humans.

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And if there is something uncomfortable, something new, then our unconscious mind will do

whatever it can to protect us.

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It doesn't know that that's not a saber-toothed tiger when you're getting on the camera.

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It just knows that your body

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is having these physiological responses of sweaty palms, my gosh, your throat's dry, or

some people feel queasy, you know, all these things.

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And your body thinks, my gosh, you know, we're in flight or fight response.

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And your unconscious mind thinks, we've got to protect you.

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So we'll come up with anything we can to make it uncomfortable as heck so that you will

not be in that situation because it literally thinks it's life or death.

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And I've experienced overthinking, second guessing, as I've built my business, my

goodness, because there's so many voices out there, right?

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And it's, one of the thoughts I had, as a matter of fact, thinking about that is over

saturated.

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is there someone already doing what I'm doing?

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Is there somebody that's already sharing what I'm sharing?

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Is there somebody that's, and we get stuck in that comparison.

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And one of my favorite quotes is,

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one of the quotes that keeps me keeps me focused and grounded is comparison is the thief

of joy.

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And it truly is.

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Because when you're looking at external sources for your happiness or comparison and

thinking that maybe you're not good enough or maybe, I don't say it like they do, or they

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look so professional on camera and I'm like sweating like crazy or I'm nervous or you

know, some people stutter and what have you.

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It's like all of these things.

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You're missing the point.

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That is not where your focus is supposed to be.

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Your focus is on your purpose, your passion, your message, the power of your message.

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And when you think about serving others, all of that starts melting away.

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It starts melting away.

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There can be other things that are past stories.

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past traumas, maybe suppressed memories and what have you that you're not even aware of

that come up and surface today.

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And maybe those things are keeping you in the cycle, what I call the spin cycle of

overthinking or second guessing or comparison or imposter syndrome.

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A lot of people think, how am I here?

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I'm a successful, know, flourishing coach and

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I, you know, it's like, what, you know, but look at this person, you know, there's the

comparison again, or how did I get here?

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um Am I worthy of this?

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And I could just go down the grocery list of things.

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And I have been in every single one of those stages.

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And I still, I still catch myself going, my goodness.

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This person is amazing.

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How can I ever be on Tedx like this?

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Stop.

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And here's the key, you pause, you recognize what's happening, the story you're telling

yourself, and you listen without judgment.

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That's the biggest thing is when we start judging ourselves, being that inner critic, that

inner critic can be the worst critic you've ever met.

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And it can be relentless and continue and continue to keep you stuck.

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Let it go.

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Just listen without judgment because awareness is the first step.

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And ask yourself, what am I feeling?

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Where am I feeling it?

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Am I feeling it in my heart, in my throat, in my stomach, in my head?

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Where are you feeling that?

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And just get curious about why that is.

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And then give yourself the grace and the space to be kind to yourself.

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What would you say to someone else that had that feeling?

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and they came to you and shared that.

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You wouldn't speak to them the way you probably speak to yourself.

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And so be gentle and kind with yourself.

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And when there are things that are so, so hard to remove and release, or even things that

you aren't aware of, but you know there's something there, that's what I faced as well.

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I had a lot of unresolved traumas and your issues do remain in your tissues.

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whether you know it or not, they are there.

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And that's when I went from coaching and mindset coaching to dive even deeper into

hypnosis and found something so powerful.

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And I found my purpose that this is how I want to help people because it's efficient and

effective.

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Those are my two things, my two requirements for things, efficient, effective, and

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It has a 98 % success rate.

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And it is just amazing.

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And it's gentle and you don't have to remember any of those stories, any of the traumas.

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And that's the beautiful part of it that really resonated with me because I didn't want to

remember a lot of that crap, right?

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So it's like it made it gentle for me.

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Yeah, and that's one of the reasons why it's kind of hidden behind the conscious filter

and it because your mind doesn't want you to remember it.

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That's the protectionism, but it's still there.

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You might not realize why you're making the decisions you're making, but there is this

underlying belief or uh unresolved trauma that can be triggering that.

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And I've gone through some of that.

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A good friend of mine,

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is a hypnotherapist and we did a lot of work on that.

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And I remember uh little things like flying on an airplane, which for the longest time was

really no big deal.

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And then all of a sudden, cold sweats, couldn't even, like just weak need, not even

wanting to get on an airplane.

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And there had been a trigger on one flight that brought something back.

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you know, and so we went in and dealt with that.

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And it's like,

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But it's something you said earlier.

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Sometimes you don't even realize why what's happening is happening.

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And especially with high performers.

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And I think I've had a lot of conversations with fellow high performers about this.

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It's like, I should be better than I am.

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um Why am I not further ahead than this other person?

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And also it can be very lonely because it's hard to talk to your peers.

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uh If you have superiors, it's hard to talk to you.

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You're not going to ever talk to them and you're not going to talk to your team.

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So you end up in this bubble where you're kind of going through it alone.

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And one of the things I recommend is, you know, for those of you listening in, have a

conversation with Angela because you don't have to go it alone because that, that, you

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know, uh person, that third party who is not emotionally invested

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in your situation who can take an objective look can help you with that.

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I'd love for you to share Angela, what new things are possible for people?

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So there could be this unexplained thing and you could be overthinking it.

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You could be kind of stuck and overanalyzing and maybe even that feeling of like, why is

this happening again?

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Or, know,

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I should be further ahead than I am.

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um What new realizations are possible once that gets addressed?

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Let's look at the other side.

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Once that is addressed and you have that awareness, that is again the most important step

is realizing that there's something there.

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And we've covered how it can show up right imposter syndrome feeling stuck all of these

things.

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And, you know, the inner critic and the emotional overwhelm of taking care of everyone,

except yourself, you know all these different things and thinking I should be further

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along, and why this what.

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All of those things are just spinning in your head.

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And once you have that awareness, then you can do something to address those.

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And once you do address those and you're able to gently and effectively release those,

it's like this clarity.

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This clarity just rises from within and you can clearly see the next step.

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that is aligned for where you want to go from where you are to where you want to go.

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And it's like the fog has lifted.

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Like before you were driving down the road and it was super, super foggy, like, you know,

so much that even the fog lights weren't helping.

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And all of a sudden it's like, it's clear and you can see the path in front of you or the

road.

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Hopefully you're not driving on a path, but you can see so clearly in front of you.

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And then that is one of the things waiting for you on the other side.

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And then the confidence.

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Because once you're able to clearly see the next step, you have this confidence that is

inside of you.

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Again, it's not outside of you, it's already there within you.

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You just need to allow it to show up.

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Literally get out of your own way so that it can come up and rise and you can be yourself,

feel good in your skin, be your own voice, share your own message.

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And it's so much easier, it just, it literally flows.

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and the people that are meant to hear your message will naturally gravitate to you.

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The people that are meant to hear will be there, they will hear.

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The words that they need to hear will be there.

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And you have this trust.

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And with that, you also have this calm, this inner calm that is like a warm blanket on a

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cold winter's day that's just so snugly and just so comfortable and you're just like, or

like, I'll tell you, when I was a kid, I was very shy, as I mentioned before, and in high

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school, I thought shyness was just going to kill me because I was terrified of being

called up to the front of the class to present or anything.

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And I had my favorite jacket, and I wore that jacket all the time.

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And looking back, I realized because that jacket made me feel comfortable because I felt

like I could kind of hide myself by having that jacket on and I felt like I was safe.

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It was my little cocoon.

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So even though I'm up there in front of the class about to say something, it could be hot,

it could be cold.

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I had my jacket because it made me feel comfortable.

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You don't need to have that metaphorical jacket, if you will, because once you have that

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clarity that confidence that calm rises naturally so then you can lead again authentically

with self-trust and alignment and self-doubt is a thing of the past

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That sounds amazing.

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And one of the things that resonated with me is that, you know, making things appear

easier.

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And it's something I hear a lot from people is like, can't it just be easier?

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And I think the answer is yes.

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Yes, it can be.

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ah I like, I love everything you said and we're gonna run out of time, but I wanna make

sure that we give people next steps.

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And I know that you've got a free gift and you've got a webinar that you do regularly.

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it's, you know, which is a great way in terms of a next step for people to learn more from

you and to connect with you and maybe even get the help that, or at least have a

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conversation that can help you on that path to things being easier.

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Tell everybody a little bit about what you've got and we'll make sure all the links are

beneath the video and in the podcast so that they can connect with you.

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Yes, well the first step I would suggest is the pause to clarity reset and with this it's

a simple three minute reset where you can use anywhere anytime it's absolutely free and

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we'll have the link in the chat you can receive it at coachangela nelson.com forward slash

pause dash two dash clarity dash reset again it will

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We'll that link there.

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You don't have to remember that.

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We'll put the link beneath the video.

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And so that is a simple three step to just pausing in your day and you would be amazed at

how it can help you before meetings, if you have a stressful phone call afterwards, just

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any time you need to just reset and have that moment for yourself.

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So it's a great gift.

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And then the second thing is the webinar that you mentioned.

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And this is the inner confidence reset.

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It's 30 minutes.

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because I know everybody is very busy and I want to be respectful of everyone's time.

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And though I will let you know a lot of people oftentimes stay for an hour because there's

so much that comes up during this time.

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It's time for yourself, again, a gift to yourself to listen and find out maybe one of the

reasons that you resonate with that could be what's keeping you stuck, what's holding you

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back, what's making you second guess yourself or

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whatever it is that you're dealing with, it's a way to have that awareness arise naturally

and gently.

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And then the next steps from there as well.

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So in ways you can shift that with simple mindset shifts.

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And if you want to go deeper, of course, we have hypnotherapy too.

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Amazing.

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Well, everything that Angela just mentioned, the links to it are right beneath this video.

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And if you're listening to this on the audio podcast, just open up your phone and the

player that you're in and in the show notes, everything is right there.

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Highly recommend that your next step is to connect with Angela, learn from Angela and, you

know, look towards that breakthrough that you're looking for in your business so you can

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make a bigger impact.

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So Angela, thank you for your time and for your stories.

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And I'm going to say vulnerability too, because the way you told your story, uh you know,

was very, there was an emotional connection for sure.

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And I really appreciate the way that you tell it and just for the work that you do.

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Absolutely.

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00:29:33,834 --> 00:29:42,038

uh So as we sign off, are there any final pieces of advice or words of wisdom that you

have for our audience?

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Yes, absolutely.

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And thank you so much, Chuck.

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I want to leave you with one thing.

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If nothing else, please listen to this, that you do not need to do more to be successful.

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You do not need to perform.

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You do not need to be perfect.

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You simply need to release what's quietly in the way.

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And that way you can experience the calm clarity and the confidence and the alignment that

you need with ease.

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It can be easy.

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I love that.

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It can be easy.

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Did you hear that?

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And so if you are on this mission to make a big impact with the work that you do and

really own your gifts, because I think you know that you can make the impact that you are

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meant to make, you might be just one collaboration away from the big breakthrough that you

need.

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And perhaps Angela is that person to collaborate with or to talk with or

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to get some new perspectives from.

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And so I highly encourage you to do that.

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Take something that you heard us here talk about today and take a step towards it.

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Maybe it's something that you've been putting off for a while.

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Go and take a step towards that today.

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Go and download uh Angela's gift.

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Go register for her next upcoming webinar.

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All the links are there.

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And remember that

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There's no obstacle too big to be overcome.

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And like I said, you might just be one collaboration away from the big breakthrough you

need.

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So keep moving forward and make the big impact you were always meant to be and we'll see

you on the next one.

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Thank you.

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All right.