5 Things Men Over 50 Should Stop Spending Money On

The older I get, the more I realize that being able to afford something and something actually being worth my money are two completely different things.

That wasn't always how I looked at it.

When you're younger, there always seems to be something you're trying to get. A better car, a bigger house, nicer clothes, the newest gadget, whatever it might be. Some of it is necessary. Some of it is just part of building your life. And, if we're being truthful, some of it is because we want other people to see that we're doing pretty well.

But somewhere after 50, I think the conversation changes.

At least it has for me.

I'm becoming much more interested in what my money can do for my life than what my money can buy for my life.

There's a difference.

For one thing, I don't think we should still be spending money trying to impress people. If you want the nice watch because you love watches, buy the watch. If you've always wanted a certain car and you can comfortably afford it, enjoy the car. I'm not suggesting we suddenly become monks because we turned 50.

I like nice things too. But buying something primarily because you want somebody else to notice that you have it? At this age, I think we're past that, and here's the funny part most people aren't paying nearly as much attention to us as we think they are anyway. They're too busy worrying about their own lives.

I'd much rather spend money on something that genuinely makes me happy than something that's supposed to make somebody else think I'm successful.

I've also started thinking about how much money we waste on things we don't even use. I'm talking about all those little charges that quietly hit the credit card every month. The streaming service you haven't watched in six months. The app you forgot you downloaded. The premium subscription you signed up for because it came with a seven-day free trial sometime during the pandemic. And yes, maybe even that gym membership.You know who you are... that is so me! I just joined a gym that I hardly go to....(Leggs, I''m sorry!- Inside joke)

The problem is that none of those things feels expensive by itself. It's $8 here, $12 there, another $19 somewhere else. You don't really notice it.

Then one day you actually sit down and add everything up and realize you're spending real money every month on things you barely remember having. Companies know this, by the way. They're counting on us forgetting.

So every now and then, I think it's worth looking at where the money is actually going. Not because we need to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of our budget, but because I'd rather spend that money on something I'm actually going to enjoy.

There's another kind of spending I think we need to be careful about as we get older, and that's spending money trying desperately not to look older. Now, let me be clear. I'm all for taking care of yourself. Get in shape. Buy clothes that fit. Get a good haircut. Take care of your skin. Eat better. Go to the dentist. Get some sleep. Do whatever makes you feel good when you look in the mirror, but there's a difference between taking care of yourself and being afraid to look your age. We're over 50. We're supposed to look different than we did at 30.

I have absolutely no interest in trying to look 25 again. I just want to look like a pretty damn good version of the age I actually am.

Besides, this is Grey & Grounded.

The grey is literally part of the brand. Wear it well. Something else I've changed my mind about is buying cheap stuff just because it's cheap. I've done it. We all have. You buy the cheaper version because you're saving money. Then it breaks. So you buy another one. Then that one breaks.

Eventually you've bought the same thing three times and spent more money than you would have if you'd just bought the better one in the first place. At this stage, I'm leaning more toward buying less and buying better.

I don't need twenty shirts I don't really like. Give me five or six good ones that fit properly.

I don't need another piece of luggage because it was on sale. I'd rather have one good bag that lasts.

And I've finally accepted one of the most painful truths in personal finance. If you bought something you didn't need because it was 40 percent off, you did not save 40 percent. You spent 60 percent.

I know. That one hurts.

But probably the biggest change I'm thinking about when it comes to money after 50 is this idea that we can become so focused on saving for the future that we forget we're already living in it.

I absolutely believe we should be responsible with money. Save. Invest. Pay down debt. Prepare for retirement. Have an emergency fund. Make sure your family is protected.

All of that matters. But I also think we have to remember to live, take the trip, go out to dinner, play that golf course you've always wanted to play, go see your favorite team, spend the weekend somewhere you've never been, take your wife somewhere nice for no particular reason, buy the good bottle you've been saving for a special occasion and realize that being here is a pretty good special occasion....OK, I'm sure you get the point by now. 

Because what exactly are we waiting for?

I don't want to reach 75 with a perfectly organized investment portfolio and a long list of things I kept saying I'd do "one day."

That doesn't mean blow the retirement account and head to Vegas. Let's not get crazy. It just means money should have a purpose beyond simply accumulating more of it. And I think that's really where our relationship with money starts changing at this age. When you're younger, money buys stuff. As you get older, money can buy something much more valuable. It can buy you time, give you options, walk away from things you no longer want to do, let you spend more time with people you care about and maybe most importantly, having your financial house in order can give you peace of mind.

That's worth a lot more to me now than having another thing sitting in the closet.

So I'm not saying stop spending money. Actually, I'm saying almost the opposite. Spend it.

Just get better at deciding what's worth spending it on.

Spend on things you enjoy. Spend on people you love. Spend on experiences you'll remember. Spend on your health. Spend on making your life easier. And yes, every once in a while, buy something completely unnecessary simply because it makes you happy.

Just make sure you're buying it for you.

Because after 50, maybe the goal isn't having more stuff.

Maybe it's having more control over your time, more experiences worth remembering and a little more peace about the life you're building.

And if getting rid of three streaming services you're not watching helps pay for a round of golf?

Well...

Now we're talking.

Until next time, more purpose, more peace.

Stay grounded.

Brian Tomlinson
Grey & Grounded