From Respite to Residential: Preparing Adults with Autism with Nathan Bryant

Mike Carr (00:04):

Well, welcome back everyone. Last week we started talking to Nathan Bryant, who's executive director at High Point Village in Lubbock, Texas, about their 17-year journey, the 70 villagers that they serve, and they're diving into respite and residential. So if you missed part one, you may want to take a look at the episode last week. This week, today, right now, we're going to talk about respite and residential. So here we go. And what's so awesome about what you said, Nathan, is the two sides of the coin that I think every parent wrestles with, and it's the challenge you have in selecting a program that is, I want an environment, especially when it comes to full residential, where my kids are safe, number one, and they can accommodate their special needs, whatever those are, seizures, nonverbal, traumatic brain injury, and all the problems that go with that, physical limitations, et cetera.

(00:50):

But at the same time, and this is what's so cool about what you guys are doing, we want to also enable them, prepare them, help them learn how to get out into that community and go to the Old Navy and get the job or go to the HEB and get the job. Even if there's somebody there with them taking a look and making sure everything, and so they can a productive member of society. And I think Lubbock, we have two grandkids in Lubbock, so we spend a fair amount of time in Lubbock and it is a community that has very much, I think, old world charm to it. It's a way families were raised when I grew up 50 years ago. It has much more of that family orientation. It's not a small town because it's obviously hundreds of thousands of people. So there's lots of variety in terms of employment and activities, but the culture and the spirit of people is very warm, it's very greeting, it's very friendly, it's very accommodating.

(01:38):

That's hard to find in big cities like an Austin or a Houston or a Dallas or elsewhere outside of Texas. So I want to talk about residential now, because that's what's so exciting. We have tried now, we're not nearly as old as you guys. We're only

(01:51):

Four years old, you're 17 years old. And we are starting to realize how hard residential is, and you guys are much further along. So you mentioned to me before we started the interview that you've got 20 lots, I believe, and you've got four or you're fixing to have four homes under construction. So if you could share with the listeners or the viewers where you guys are on that residential journey, what your philosophy is, if somebody was interested in, "Hey, I might even be willing to move to Lubbock,"

Nathan Bryant (02:18):

Given

Mike Carr (02:18):

What you guys are doing and how far ahead you are of other programs, at least in Texas, give us a little bit of that backstory if you would.

Nathan Bryant (02:25):

Absolutely. So I often, when I do talk to some of those original board members, the ones that helped create the mission statement, I was like, "You guys really did a great thing by putting live first on the list. We want to create a village where these folks can live first and then learn and then work." It's the first on the list, the last to be accomplished, but as you just mentioned, by far the most difficult, most expensive. We have had, again, I've had some great conversations and been very fortunate to warmly welcomed into this community of leadership by other organizations across Texas. And so it is a good reminder when I'll go down to Austin and I'll meet the folks maybe at Marbridge on the south side of town and they've got this beautiful residential community and I'll talk to Scott there and he's like, "You do realize how long we've been around." This wasn't accomplished in five years or 10 years or whatever.

(03:12):

Same thing like a Brookwood. I grew up in Katy, so Brookwood is right down the road and you go place like that and it can be overwhelming. I mean, truly it can be very intimidating even like what are we even trying to do here? And yet I know West Texas families, I mean a lot of them as much, even if they had the means to put their loved one at a Marbridge or a Daymark in Dallas or all the amazing organizations like Deb at 29 Acres. Every time I visit her, my family actually lived in Denton for awhile. That's where I lived when my son was born. And so I saw 29 Acres coming up as Zeke was growing up and I'm like, "Dude, Deb's awesome. I'd love to see Zeke at 29 Acres." A place like that anyways. But all that to say, we also want to create something in West Texas.

(03:51):

The Panhandle needs and really everywhere needs more of these opportunities. And there's something unique about living here and families that want to stay here and want to remain close to their loved ones. And so what we have been able to develop just really in the last year is what you're talking about. It's phase one of a residential community. We sit on 63 acres. Land is not our problem where we sit. We have some other challenges. We're technically a part of the city of Lubbock, so we're on city water, but we're not on city sewer. So that creates some unique dynamics and there were some decisions that had to be made when it came to develop these properties. Financially speaking, it's just very expensive to build anything. And so one of our core values is stewardship, as it should be, I think for any nonprofit organization.

(04:30):

The board and leaders ahead of my time did an amazing job of just putting money away, putting money away, putting money away. And about halfway through 2025, we received just an amazing gift from a family who heard about what we were doing, doesn't live in Lubbock, but just like, "We believe in what you're doing. We want to see it happen." And their gift put us over a line, over a threshold where we knew we can do this. And what that is, is 24 lots on 14 acres with a really large kind of central circular two acre lot earmarked for a future amenity community center. We want it to be the coolest place where the folks who live out here can hang out on the weekends and the nights and bring friends out where the community come out and do stuff with them as well. Yeah, we've developed 24 lots.

(05:13):

They're all at least a half acre. The reason for that is the rules around sewer and septic and all that kind of stuff. So with the building codes and stuff, since we're not on city sewer, each lot will have its own septic system and you have to have a half acre to do a septic system. So we're selling half acre lots and we're developing four of those lots ourselves to mention to you first. And yes, we truly hope that we break ground before the end of this month. We had a meeting yesterday at maybe early October now, which I hate pushing anything back, but as I was telling the board, we've waited 18 years. It's okay if it's a month or two later than we thought. We're building four homes. One is going to be for staff, one is going to be a respite home.

(05:44):

I can tell you a little bit more about that. And then one will be for men and one will be for women. And it's not a ton. We're not building a giant cottage. We're not building a huge multi-tenant thing. Each of them are a four bedroom house. So the four bedroom house for men and the four bedroom house for women will be able to provide a space for up to three men and three male and three female villagers to live alongside a supportive roommate. It's kind of a concept that we've heard about, learned more from. The Best Buddies program that you may be familiar with on college campuses just launched a supportive roommate set up in Austin of all places this fall. So they just launched one at the UT campus. We had some great conversations with their leadership and described what that supportive roommate does.

(06:20):

They're not providing care. I mean they're support. They're providing reminders and nudges and they may show you how to cook something on the stove once or twice. They're not there to provide medication or to get you dressed or we talk about the ADLs, everybody knows what those are, but they're there to help you learn how to live as a roommate and to live independently and to provide that kind of support. And so we're excited because those first two houses will give us a chance to get started with six and show proof of concept and refine our processes because everywhere I've gone and everyone I've talked said, "You're going to mess up." They're like, oh, we can learn. And I want to learn from everybody's mistakes so I don't repeat anybody's mistakes, but everybody's like, dude, you're going to mess up. So we're not going to mess up when it comes to safety.

(06:57):

We're not going to mess up when it comes to villager wellbeing, but there's something else we're going to mess up. I just know that's the case and we want to do it well. And so we're going to start small. As you mentioned, some of these other lots are now available to families who want to build a house out here and live as a part of the village. So if you want to move your entire family and let your loved one with IDD just be a part of the community, that's great. We're not going to have a requirement that every villager that lives out here is a part of our programs. Those that live in the houses we provide will have to have something to do during the day. They may be a part of another day program in town. They may be working jobs. Texas Tech has the Burkhart Center, which of course is an amazing two-year transition academy that doesn't have a housing option because technically they're not students.

(07:38):

They're employees or interns at Texas Tech, and so there's some nuance there, but we'd love for Burkhart interns and talking to the leadership at Burkhart, this opens the opportunity for families who may not live in Lubbock to send their loved ones to Burkhart and we could provide the housing for them while they're attending the Burkhardt Academy. And so we're excited about all those different partnerships and opportunities. We've got a local home builder in town that believes in our vision. Again, another faith-based organization. Of course, they're a for-profit organization, but very much strong faith ties. They're providing their homes to us in a way that we can pass on a discount to the first families that buy out here. As we mentioned on Tuesday night, it's a great home builder. They build all the way across West Texas. Their name is Betenbough Homes here in Lubbock.

(08:17):

I told families, you can build a Betenbough house for cheaper than you can buy it in any neighborhood in Lubbock at High Point Village. It's the only place that house is going to be on a half acre. It's the only place that house is going to be in a gated community. It's the only place that's going to have staff on site that's going to help you and come alongside you as you support your loved one and you get a deal on the house. I mean, it's the best that we can possibly do. And it's only made possible because Betenbough believes in what we're doing and says we want to be a part of that as well. Even in the last couple days, we've had other home builders say, Hey, we kind of want to do that too. So my hope is that when these first four houses start going up, everybody's like, "I want to get out there.

(08:47):

I want to get out there. I want to get

Mike Carr (08:48):

Out there." Talk about respite. You mentioned that. And one of the things that we've tried to do, and we don't have residential yet, and it's going to be a while probably before we get anywhere close to what you guys have got, but to transition somebody from living at home, and they maybe don't go out and travel as much as a neurotypical individual does because they've got challenges, then to all of a sudden move them from living with mom and dad to living in a totally different full residential setting can be a real challenge. So what we've tried to do is we'll start them with the day program and the day program nexus for us is a house that a couple parents purchased on behalf of their kiddos, but share with the rest of our community. So they get used to coming to the house first and all their buddies are there.

(09:32):

That's where they have respite too. So then they start moving from their home into a weekend respite. So they're maybe spending a couple nights at a place they're already familiar with. So we're trying to mitigate the anxiety where now, oh my gosh, I'm going to actually spend a night where I'm not used to spending my nights away from mom and dad. But now they're sort of familiar with the house, so it's not that big a deal. And then of course the dream is, well, now they can start living or having an extended respite for maybe a week at the house so that when finally that home on that half acre lot you're talking about is built, they're already sort of familiar. The staff knows them, they're familiar with that setup because maybe they spent a few nights or weeks or whatever at that respite home you're building.

(10:15):

So that transition is going to be primed for success. Is that a pipe dream? How does that line up with what you guys are doing or do you see different paths forward for different individuals based upon what their needs are?

Nathan Bryant (10:26):

You almost described how we plan on using that house. So I mean what you just described is exactly the vision. I mean, there was conversation about what are we going to do with these first four houses and some robust, I wouldn't say arguments, but the best use of these first four houses. Why wouldn't we build a third house for villagers to live in, for instance, as opposed to a respite house? And those of us on staff that see our respite program, not only the benefit it provides to families, but exactly what you're talking about, the opportunities that our villagers have to get outside of mom and dad's house maybe for the first time, really pushed for that respite house. Not only that, but now I get a training house. So what you've talked about, you have that. We've never had a training house. So I mentioned, we have a laundry room that's in our janitor's closet.

(11:07):

We have a beautiful commercial kitchen so we can do cooking lessons and things, but we don't have a bedroom here. We don't have a living room. We don't have a place to show you how to do all that other kind of stuff. So the respite house is going to be used for a lot of things, but the High Point Respite program goes back a long time. We've run respite nights, Friday nights, three hours. We've done that for years. But for about four years now we've run these Abundant Life weekends and that's exactly what you described. It's two nights up to four villagers with two staff. They have transportation in Lubbock. We get out and do everything that's fun. So if it's in the spring, they're at a basketball game or a baseball game or something. And the villagers have a lot of agencies, so they fill out a survey of like, "Hey, how do I want to spend the weekend?" And it's awesome.

(11:47):

On girls' weekends, they're going and getting manicures and pedicures and they're making their way over to someplace to get coffee. And on guys' weekends, one of our staff who was meant to serve just got sick at the last minute. And so we're scrambling for we need that second staff member. And we ended up putting it together with me and two others. So I'm serving on an Abundant Life weekend and the guys are typically they'll go grocery shopping or something. And so I'm like, "Guys, let's get in the van. Let's go grocery shopping together." So we go over to United, which is one of the local supermarket chains here, and it's like I'm back in college. We're getting boxes of cereal and little Debbie snacks. I'm like, "We're having the guys weekend." And I turned in my receipts and our social services director looks at me and she's like, "What did you buy at the grocery store?" I was like, "It's a guys weekend.

(12:27):

I mean, this is what we're doing." So needless to say, that was the last time I served as a staff on an Abundant Life weekend. But we've been limited to the number of those weekends we can do because we have to rent an Airbnb. We don't own a house in town. And of course you're in a college town, just like Austin, you can't run an Airbnb during football season because the prices are crazy. Lubbock is unique in that every weekend's kind of a big weekend in Lubbock. I mean, the nickname is Hub City. And the reason for that is our location means Oklahoma, New Mexico, even Amarillo, which is a good sized city of its own. People come to Lubbock every weekend for something. So travel ball, big events, convention centers, whatever it might be. So Airbnbs, it's a pretty good deal if you can get some Airbnbs in Lubbock.

(13:06):

And so we have to pay that premium. And so we're like, man, if we have our own house out here, we don't have to pay for an Airbnb every time we do it, which frees up some budget to do more fun things and maybe pay our staff a little better and all the other kinds of things that go along with that. But what we're really excited about is that we'll be able to go from six weekends a year, three for men and three for women, to at least two a month. There'll be at least 12 men's and women's weekends next year.That's what we're excited about. And to what you said before, we absolutely see that as the first step to a villager moving out here. It opens their eyes and oftentimes the eyes of their parents and caregivers who are like, there's no way they could ever live on their own.

(13:39):

Well, if they've come out here and done six respite weekends and I can say, oh, they're ready. I mean, we've got great reports back from the staff. And of course, those who are out here with respite, we're going to be able to interact with the villagers who live out here because they'll be next door neighbors. So you got built-in social opportunities on Friday nights and Saturday night on those weekends. They're going to want to be living out here with their friends and the people they do that with. And it's another way that we obviously can get to know the villagers who want to move out here. So from an organizational standpoint, we want to be able to serve them well. And just moving somebody that we've never had any history with, that hasn't been a part of our day programs into a residential setting, that's challenging.

(14:14):

And so we're probably going to have some kind of requirement even that a villager who wants to move out here on their own, not a family necessarily, but on their own, would do a few of those respite weekends so we can see what it's like first thing in the morning and what it's like at night and bedtime and understand their routines so we can best serve them. But that is exactly what you described as exactly what we want. We want that to be the stepping stone to the family and the villager both opening their mind to this as being a real possibility. And of course there are opportunities and one of the things we're very mindful of is just how much everything costs. Residential for this population is extremely expensive. So part of that supportive roommate setup is meant to provide a lower entry point when it comes to how much you pay.

(14:54):

Some of the organizations I've talked about, and they do it all while raising millions of dollars to keep their prices as low as possible. It's still $4,500, $5,000 a month for the residential services they provide because how do you replace the level of care that a parent has for their child? You can't put a price on that. And yet we try. I mean, we try and do it as best we can. And so that supportive roommate piece, because we're not providing that high level of support, will be much less expensive. And what we hope is then we can build some momentum and get some more funding so that we can start providing residential opportunities for folks that do have a higher level of need, as you described first thing in this conversation. Because we don't want any villager to be ineligible long-term to be able to live at High Point Village.

(15:36):

And ultimately to achieve that, we're going to have to take on more and more staff, more and more accessibility and just the way we design residences and things like that. And we're very thankful to have relationships with others who do that well already so we can learn from them.

Mike Carr (15:50):

So there's several things you mentioned, Nathan, that I think are worth revisiting and pointing out. And the first thing is when staff doesn't show up, what's the backup plan? And we've found that not only do we have to have a backup, we have to have a backup for the backup. In worst case, the executive director like you had to step in at the last minute, but you're willing to do that. That's the culture of High Point Village and that's what the culture of John13 is too. And I think parents need to understand that there's a commitment in these kinds of programs. Your child, your loved one's going to be taken care of. Because people get sick, people have things that come up at the last minute, that doesn't mean that they're going to be at risk or the staffing ratios are going to change to where now it's one on, you got one staffer for 10 people.

(16:30):

We're committed to maintaining ratios that make sense with people that are trained and that know what's going on, even if that means someone like the executive director has to

(16:39):

Step

(16:39):

In. The second thing you mentioned, which I think is so cool and something that we absolutely have seen in our respite program is it's a bit disheartening as a parent. So our son's 36 years old and when he knows he's going to respite, and we can't really tell him everything about it because he doesn't have that level of understanding, but he gets the idea. He gets super excited. He actually would prefer to be at respite than with us.

(17:02):

So it's like, well, I've taken care of him for all thes years. It's been safe. We spent all this money. We've changed our home and our lives. And now he's grown up to where he enjoys going to a High Point Village for a respite weekend more than he would staying home with mom and dad at their home in Lubbock or wherever it is. That is so important. And I think it is so cool that you guys are headed in that direction.You've probably seen that. The last thing though, and this is the tough one, you mentioned costs. So we have some programs that have waiver dollars, HCS dollars or class dollars. We have others that have the means for private pay. And then there's of course a mix of everything. How do you guys handle waiver dollars, if at all? How do you handle private pay?

(17:40):

Do you offer any scholarships? What is that financial mix right now and where do you hope to be in a few years? I

Nathan Bryant (17:47):

Can tell you what we do right now with our day programs. I can tell you what we're hoping to do, or at least we know we can do day one with residential and then obviously what we hope to do long term. We are a licensed facility which allows High Point Village to be reimbursed for tuition for our day programs for the villagers that are on the class waiver, the HCS waiver, Texas Home Living. And we have a couple ICF folks that are on ICF that pay a little bit too. And so I would say approximately 40% of the 70 villagers we have are on some type of waiver, maybe closer to half now. And depending on their agency and their waiver, we're reimbursed at a different rate or whatever. We provide more than the six hours of ISS. We provide things beyond what the waiver pays for.

(18:30):

And so most of even our waiver villagers pay a little bit in addition to what we're reimbursed for what they do for that time. However, there are some that their waiver takes care of everything. And so that's been great. We do have obviously a private pay option. We've tried to stay as inexpensive as possible when it comes to that. Don't quote me on this, but I think our reach high tuition rate is somewhere around $700 a month. That's for four days a week of programming. And I think Dream Big may have just gotten to maybe 1,100 or 1,050, something like that. So yeah, when you think about that over the course of a year, I mean, again, we've all had children and probably put them in daycare or something. So we remember that, but none of us thought, oh, we'd be doing that for our adults as well, for our adult children.

(19:10):

And so even for myself, wrapping my mind around that is an interesting concept. And we do that because we literally fundraise two thirds of our operational budget every year.That's just a commitment that we've always made. At one point in time, the hope was that we could keep Reach High's tuition rate to somewhere close to that SSI number, the lower SSI number, so that if a family had nothing more than supplemental social security income, that would cover most of High Point Village. I think that's generally how they originally arrived at the number they did. And we've just made some small increases over the years to try and, again, compensate our staff. I've got an amazing staff. As much as they're willing to work here, understanding they can make more somewhere else, I don't feel right as their leader paying them less than they're worth. And so I want them to be well paid because they're providing an amazing service to families like mine and they're worth every dollar.

(19:53):

So we do do tuition assistance. So I'm happy to say that literally everyone who applied for tuition assistance, we literally just re-upped two months ago, gets it. I mean, they receive it. And so we literally, I don't think we've ever turned a villager away for financial reasons. I mean, that's literally kind of where we're at. And we have generous foundations in town. We have generous individuals in town who believe in what we do that are like, "Hey, if you know somebody that can't afford, just put me in touch." Churches in town that believe in that kind of stuff. So there's stories for years of making that possible. When it comes to residential, we will not be running group homes on site.That won't be a thing. Of course, I mentioned 29 Acres and had several great conversations with Deb there and the way they run their HCS homes and all that kind of stuff.

(20:32):

And Deb's awesome. She probably won't watch this, but she's like, "Don't do it." I mean, that's kind of her thing. It's just so hard. I mean, it's just so hard. But we also know that exclusively private pay organizations and places, God, they're expensive. And I mean, I just know, here's the hard thing. We have fallen in love with about 130 families that we serve on an annual basis. We have 70, but then we have respite nights and we have summer camps and we have overnight camp and we have seasonal parties. So there's about 130 families a year that we're serving right now in some kind of programming. Well, we've fallen in love with all of them. And so we want them to live out here, know them well enough to know what their financial resources are. And while we probably could do something that's exclusively private pay, and to your point and to what others have told me is, "Hey, if you build it, they will come." There are families everywhere that are looking for a place for their loved one that takes care of them and is safe and awesome.

(21:23):

We don't want to be just one that attracts families from around the world. And that's nothing against those that do. I mean, we truly believe God has placed us in Lubbock, Texas to serve this part of the country. And so we do want to be accessible. To that end, we do know that if you're on an HCS waiver and you' receiving some type of host home or companion care, you're going to be able to use that if you buy a house out here and move out here. That could potentially pay for the person that lives with your loved one. Or again, if you move out here as a family, you can apply that host home companion care, those dollars to your mortgage payment as you live out here for that type of thing. So there is some opportunity paying for an attendant, like if you need to come out here and you need some help in the morning.

(22:00):

So again, with these first few homes, you really need to be pretty independent. But one of the questions we got from a family the other day was like, if they don't have that dependence, but we could bring somebody in that helps them get ready in the morning or maybe helps them get ready for bed, could they maybe live with a supportive roommate? And we kind of looked and said, maybe so. I mean, we haven't said no to that. I mean, again, the supportive roommate is not replacing mom and dad, but if you can help us compliment the supportive roommate with that attendant that your waiver pays for, yeah. Again, getting back to what I said before, we're not opposed to considering anything. Let's figure out how we can make it work and then we'll do that. So I think there will be opportunities for that, for some Medicaid reimbursement or some Medicaid assistance to help with the residential, even from day one.

Mike Carr (22:40):

Nathan, this has been great. And in wrapping it up, I want to mention a couple things. You mentioned that two thirds of your operating budget, you've got to raise money for it. And I think every nonprofit in existence, fundraising is an ongoing activity. So if folks would like to get in touch with you, either to donate, to contribute, to find out more about the program, because they're considering what you guys have to offer, what's the best place for them to go, whether it's your website or your email address? How would you recommend them contacting you directly or just High Point Village in general?

Nathan Bryant (23:16):

Our website is highpointvillage.org. No E on point. Some people like to add a point, I guess maybe for British or something, but we're West Texas, so no E. Highpointvillage.org is our website. My email, you can contact me directly through email website, but it's just my first initial and last name, just nbryant@highpointvillage.org. And they're more than welcome just to email me. And if it's a fundraising development type thing, I'll probably forward it with an introduction to our development director who's worked every job here. So she really understands programming and volunteers and respite. And now she does development and she's actually going to be moving into the residential world. So she understands and seen behind the curtain on that stuff as well. Our social services director, Natalie Hendrix, is incredible. One of the other things I love about High Point is they really wanted this to be a hub for resources in the community.

(24:00):

And so what Natalie does is she doesn't just serve the families that come out to our programs, but anybody in Lubbock that has questions about Medicaid waivers or questions. I often say, if you get home from the hospital and your child has this need that you didn't realize was going to be the case before they were born, obviously maybe not the day you bring them home from the hospital, but when the ground underneath you is kind of settled a little bit and become still, set up an appointment and come talk to Natalie Hendrix because she will remind you, one, you're not the first person to go through this. There's an organization like High Point Village and others in Lubbock that will come alongside you, a community of families that will help you through all of the things you didn't see coming. And she's like a master at all.

(24:37):

It was funny, the first six months in working with her, she used all the acronyms that of course you're familiar with, but coming from the pastoral world, what ISS and HCS and all this kind of stuff. And I'm like, man, I don't know any of this. And so I feel like she was giving me all the lessons on all of the acronyms and I feel pretty good about them now, but she's a master at all of that. And so connecting folks and helping people navigate, okay, I'm on this waiting list, but I just got a call for that waiver, what should I do? And how do I navigate that? She's an amazing resource. And Natalie, she's on the website. Everybody's email should be on the website. But if they're interested in the residential stuff, there is a place to click, just a residential interest form, and we'll reach out directly to you when we see that come through and just let you know what we have.

(25:14):

We've just started creating some documents. And so you're interested buying a house, what does the house look like? How much does the house cost? Those are all things that are being developed today and tomorrow. So we're start having conversations with families who've shown interest in that. Yeah. I mean truly, yes, we're always fundraising. I mean, it is part of the work that we do. I say this, I went from 20 years of reminding people that the tithe was in the Bible as a part of it. And no one's tithing to High Point Village, nor should they.That's not my theological understanding, but it's so much easier to ask people for money at High Point Village than it was in the church. I mean, it just is. I mean, come out and visit. I get one hug from one of my villagers and it typically takes care of itself.

(25:52):

So we love giving tours. We love showing people around. This is not the most beautiful city in the world from a maybe physical aesthetic beauty, but I can say High Point Village is the most beautiful thing Lubbock has going for it. So if you want to come and check it out, and Mike, I think you're going to come out here. We'd love to show you around and introduce you to. I mean, our villagers are just awesome. It is the most amazing place out here. So yeah, we'd love to connect folks in any way we can and serve them however we can.

Mike Carr (26:15):

Nathan, in closing, there's one question I want to ask you. If you had a single line of advice to give parents, whether they're in Lubbock or elsewhere, on this journey where they're getting to the point of really thinking about residential, thinking about what happens when their son or daughter can't live at home or they don't want them necessarily to live at home because they can't take care of them,

(26:35):

What

(26:36):

Advice would you give any parent?

Nathan Bryant (26:38):

This is funny. It goes back to my youth ministry days and it became real obviously when Zeke was born and then two, three years old, we figured out he's going to be a little bit different than maybe what we thought. But I've often just said, I don't have a lot of anxiety or fear about a lot of things in life. It's just not truly one of the things that I've just really struggled with a ton. I've got my own things, so believe me. But when it comes to thinking about his future, you're going to get me to be pretty anxious and fearful. And the advice I used to give parents as their teenagers were going through things and their teenagers seemed to be just kind of testing the waters and all sorts of things that they were uncomfortable with. Or maybe their teenagers were about to go off to college and they're like, "Oh, are they ready?" I would always remind them, I'm like, "You do realize God loves your child more than you do.

(27:18):

You do. And he brought them into this world for a reason and he's given you to them as a parent to take care of them and love them. But he also has a plan for them when you can't do that. He does. And that's not to say don't exhaust every different option and look into all the different opportunities, but take a breath and just know that as you're searching for what the best thing is for your child, it does already exist. There is an answer to the questions you have. And I have personally seen that with High Point Village. I didn't know what Zeke was going to do after high school. I didn't know where Zeke was going to live when he's ready to move out of house with my wife and I. And now I do. And I didn't even know High Point existed three years ago.

(27:57):

I mean, that's the craziest thing. So for 15 and a half years of his life, I'm just worried, I'm worried, I'm worried. And I'm looking, and I' looking, I'm looking. And of course I'm from Houston, so I'm like," Geez, what do I got to do to get into Brookwood? I'm going to have to go practice law and I don't know, chase ambulances or something and make millions of dollars so I can afford this. "And all along, God knew there was an answer for that. And so I would just say take a deep breath and just know that there's a plan in place. And again, I'd love to be a resource to any person. You mentioned your son at 36, and I know you asked me a closing question, but I'll just end with this, wanting to be at respite more than he wants to be maybe with you.

(28:31):

My son just graduated from high school, and so I'm sure when your son was going that transition, a special needs parent grieves differently, but for me, every milestone that other kids are going through is a fresh opportunity to grieve. So when he turned 16 and didn't get his driver's license, I'm grieving. August, when he's going int his senior year and everybody else is getting on the common app to apply for college, I'm grieving because my son's not applying for college. When he's graduating from high school and getting ready to move into his own place or go to college, I'm grieving because he's not doing that. But what a cool thing for you to now have the opportunity to grieve like those parents did when their kids turned 18 and graduated from college because they want to move out and do that, that you now have the opportunity.

(29:10):

I mean, is that weird that you have the blessing of grieving a child potentially leaving the nest? To me, that is the grace of God that we still get to have an experience like that. And it's because of organizations like yours and others around the state that want to provide opportunities for our sons and our daughters and our friends to live the most full life possible and not have any limitations to the experiences that they can have that we as parents now get to grieve maybe on a different timeline, but we do get to say, "Oh, I remember my parents being sad when I left the house and now I get to be sad. And how cool is that?" I

Mike Carr (29:43):

Agree. I mean, I think grieving for the right reasons is a blessing, not a curse. And I think the word that comes to mind in listening to you describe God's plan is one of faith, that you have to believe it. It's more than just hope. If you have faith, you know someone watching out for your son or daughter up above. And they do have a plan and they are going to help you navigate the different paths forward and find the right solution. So Nathan, thank you so much for your time today. I think all the words and enthusiasm and optimism that you've shared with us is really cool and very exciting and what parents certainly need to hear and listen to. And we'll put in the show notes for anybody that's watching the contact information again for Nathan and Natalie in High Point Village. And please take care of yourselves and of course, your loved son and daughter the rest of this week.

(30:35):

See you next week. Bye-bye.