Imperfection Rocks My World

SEASON 13
EPISODE 6 "IMPERFECTION ROCKS MY WORLD"
INTRO
FLLOYD
Thunder's Mouth Theatre presents: Episode 6 of Season 13, "Imperfection Rocks My World" in which Helen and Janey are back on good terms, teasing each other as they do. Janey's father Philip has been visiting her, and Philip and Helen meet up to discuss a while range of things and... well, you might as well just listen. Oh, by the way! I've set up a short (I promise you, very short) survey which would mean the world to me if you could spare a few minutes to fill in. Details in the show notes, and at the end of the episode.  Enjoy...

SCENE ONE
JANEY'S PHONE RINGS
HELEN IS IN THE PARK. CHILDREN SHOUTING.
JANEY
Hi Mum!
HELEN
Janey. You rang?
JANEY
I did indeed. Did you get my message?
HELEN
What message
JANEY
I left a voice message. Your phone asked me to identify myself. So I did. And I left—
HELEN
Oh right. That's my spam protection app. Quite useful. Do you have one?
JANEY
I do. But it's supposed to recognise people in my contacts and let them through.
HELEN
So is mine. And the significant element there is "supposed to". Which it does most of the time. But sadly not all of the time. I've given up trying to fix it. It has a mind of its own.
JANEY
No it doesn't
HELEN
What?
JANEY
It doesn't have a mind of its own, Mum. It's an automated digital device
HELEN
Oh I know that. Just a figure of speech. Should I say 'it has its own unfathomable system for deciding which calls to let through and which ones to question'?
JANEY
Well that's probably a bit long winded, but I think it actually nails it.  Mum, whereabouts are you?
HELEN
I'm in the park. Walking. Why?
JANEY
What's all that screaming?
HELEN
Children. It's what they do these days. This century. Hadn't you noticed?
JANEY
Yes, I had actually.
HELEN
Good. So why were you calling me?
JANEY
Oh, I thought you might like to hear about Philip's visit. You did say you wanted a full report.
HELEN
So I did. I'd completely forgotten about that.
JANEY
You forgot that my father was coming to Edinburgh to spend some time with me?
HELEN
No, I forgot I'd asked for a full report.
JANEY
O..kay.. Well, do you want it, or not?
HELEN
What?
JANEY
The report.
HELEN
Yes, but now just now.
JANEY
Oh! What's happening just now?
HELEN
At this moment, I'm heading for the Cheese Shop Cafe to meet up with Philip.
JANEY
With Philip?  He's coming to meet you? At the Cheese Shop cafe?
HELEN
Indeed. He called up last night, just after the train left Edinburgh, and asked if I had time to meet up with him for a coffee.
JANEY
Oh... I thought he had to meet some bigwigs in the city before he headed straight back to Paris.
HELEN
He did. But they switched the time at the last moment, so he has time to connect with me. And I suggested here, because Ilse's coffee is a heck of a lot better than mine.
JANEY
Well that's lovely!  I shall expect a full report in due course.
HELEN
Oh no, that's not going to happen.
JANEY
Why not?  You want my report, why can't I have yours?
HELEN
Because I need to know how you got on with your long lost father, but you, the child, have no business knowing what goes on between your parents.
JANEY
(laughing)
But that's just bonkers!  Why ever not?
HELEN
Because I say so.
JANEY
Oh dear, Mum.  I haven't heard you say that for almost half a century.
HELEN
I know. I just thought I'd try it out. 
HELEN
Hi Ilse! Janey, gotta go!  Call me later.
JANEY
I'll think about it.
HELEN
Cheeky thing! Love you
TRANSITION

SCENE 2
ILSE
Helen!  I watched you coming through the park, towards us. Here's your coffee. 
HELEN
Now that's what I call service! Thank you. How are you?  
ILSE

Not bad thanks  Did you want anything to eat, Helen?
HELEN

No, I'm good. Had a proper breakfast, for a change.
ILSE
Well that's good! Do you mind if I sit for a moment
HELEN
Please!  
ILSE
We're not busy just now, but it will all kick off soon.
HELEN
Do you have any help today?
ILSE
Yes, Katie. Do you remember her? The Scottish girl.
HELEN
Oh! Katie! The actress! Did you watch her TV show?
ILSE
I watched the first episode. Couldn't understand a word they were saying..
HELEN
(laughing)
I know what you mean. I had the subtitles on for the whole series. It certainly helped.
ILSE
She was very funny, wasn't she?
HELEN
She was. Talented girl. I thought the whole thing was so clever, "Gob Shite Sheilas" indeed!
MUSIC
SCENE 3
KATIE
Here y'are, Mrs Docherty. And here's the tea
PHILIP
Thank you. 
KATIE
Did yez want any sugars?
HELEN
Not for me thanks.
PHILIP
No, I'm good thanks. You look familiar? Have we met?
KATIE
Nah, I dinnae think so.
HELEN
Telly.
PHILIP
I'm sorry? What was that?
HELEN
Maybe you recognise our Katie from the telly.
PHILIP
Really? You're an actress?
KATIE
Aye, ah am. "Gob Shite Sheilas". Did ye see it? It was on the BBC last month.
PHILIP
Oh my lord! That's it! You're Fifi, the girl who climbed up the side of the building and broke into the Art School!
KATIE
Aye, that wiz me. Did ye like it?
PHILIP
I loved it. So funny. Really very funny. Well done you! Is there going to be a Season 2? 
KATIE
I wouldnae ken.
PHILIP

 Well, have you got anything else lined up soon?
KATIE
Naw. No' really.  I've done a few auditions, but nothing has come up yet. 
HELEN
Anything you fancy?
KATIE
Naw. No' at all. They all want another foul-mouthed athletic Glaswegian lassie, but not even clever like Fifi was. Boring!
HELEN
Oh that's a shame. Very short sighted of them. You stick to your guns.
KATIE
Aye. That's what I'm doing. No' gonnae lower ma standards. No' for a while, anyways. Did yez want tae order some food?
HELEN
Not for me thank, Katie.
PHILIP
No. I'm ok thanks.
KATIE
Right you are. See yez.
PHILIP
Well, well well. That was exciting. Can't remember the last time I met a star of— er... screen.
HELEN
Me neither. But then I can't remember much at all these days.
PHILIP
Oh dear. You too, eh?  It does get harder. Doesn't it? So... how are you?  Have you fully recovered from the accident? Any after effects?
HELEN
No. I had headaches on and off for a few weeks, but they've gone.
PHILIP
So, all good then? Back to normal?
HELEN
Oh, I wouldn't say that. 
PHILIP
What do you mean.
HELEN
Oh... just that it seems like as soon as one problem goes away, another one drops by. Like the wheels of the wagon.
PHILIP
The what?
HELEN
You know. You fix one wheel, then another one falls off. [SINGS] One wheel on my wagon, but I'm still rolling along...
PHILIP
Oh.  Right. I do remember that. So what's the problem with the latest wheel?
HELEN
Arthritis. 
PHILIP
Ah.
HELEN
Yeah. Thought you might know about that.
PHILIP
How come?
HELEN
Hah. The way you walked in. Carefully.
PHILIP
Ah yes. So you've got it too. How bad?
HELEN
Oh you know...
TRANSITION
SCENE 4

HELEN
And what did Alex think about it?
PHILIP
He thought it was a terrible idea. Hated it. Absolutely hated it.
HELEN
Can't say I blame him. But what was his reasoning?
PHILIP
The whole idea that you could automate the creative process in any way that would produce anything preferable to a human doing it.  
HELEN
But why did you even consider it in the first place?  I thought you enjoyed doing what you do. You're an artist, first and foremost, I - I just don't get it. 
PHILIP
That's what Alex said.
HELEN
So why did you? 
PHILIP
Well... as you've just so pointedly reminded me, we're not getting any younger, and I thought it might extend my so-called career for a few extra years. Less effort, faster process, and the firm was definitely looking to cut back. Using AI would mean I could produce at least twice the book cover design options in half the time.
HELEN
But would they be any good?
PHILIP
They would have been acceptable.
HELEN
How do you know that?
PHILIP
Because I did submit a couple. And they never questioned what I was doing. 
HELEN
How did you do it?
 PHILIP

I asked the software to produce designs in my style, and it did. Shockingly so.  However...
HELEN
However...?  What was missing?
PHILIP
Exactly. Something was missing. I'm still struggling to figure out just what it was. Maybe my failing eyesight is deceiving me. But it's just that... something... that intangible something.
HELEN
Maybe it was too good.
PHILIP
How do you mean?
  HELEN
Well... humans aren't perfect. We are all unique. And uniquely imperfect. Perfection might be an aspiration, but it's an impossible goal. That's evolution for you. Have you been watching that show "Evolution"? Chris Packham? 
PHILIP
No. Should I?
HELEN
Yeah. Give it a shot. I don't think he's saying anything you or I don't already know, but he's packaged it up in a way that makes more sense, to me, at any rate.
PHILIP
How so? And I hope this is leading to somewhere that gets my mind out of this pickle I've landed in.
HELEN
Pickle? What do you mean? Are you in trouble?
PHILIP
No, just in my head. It's really bothering me that I can't figure out why the AI images look so much like mine, but they disturb me. And not in a good way.
HELEN
Well, think of it like this. According to Mr Packham, we are descended from little bubbles of chaos formed billions of years ago. Evolution arises from the fact that when cells divide, and they are trying to clone themselves. But occasionally — they make mistakes. We call them mutations. Or rather, he does. I call them experiments. Or even creative choices. Because 'mutations' implies a kind of downgrading, doesn't it?
PHILIP

It has negative connotation.
HELEN

 Whereas those changes that happened to our ancient ancestors contributed to their survival. Whenever a 'mistake' or a 'mutation' occurred as each new generation came along, either it went nowhere, so no problem, or... wait for it!... if it lead to some kind of benefit for those creatures, they flourished. 
PHILIP
I see what you mean... I think...
HELEN

So follow that to its logical conclusion, and apply it to where we are now, as a species.  If we all do what the tech bros want, which is to stop making mistakes, because we've got all these perfect machines to do everything perfectly for us... right?
PHILIP
Uh-huh...
HELEN

We will cease to evolve. End of story. I rest my case.  Oh Katie?  Could we have more tea and coffee here please?
KATIE
On it!
PHILIP

Hang on. Let me have a think about that. You're saying, we - homo sapiens...
HELEN
Rapidly devolving into homo insapiens
PHILIP
Ooh get you, showing off your schoolgirl Latin!
HELEN
Well someone has to do it!
PHILIP
Ok, but what you seem to be saying with your theory of human evolution, is that it is the actual making of 'mistakes' that allows us to evolve.
HELEN
Precisely.  And that very mistake making art is the root of what we call creativity.
PHILIP
Ah...
HELEN
Get it now?
PHILIP
Think so. Those AI generated images are too perfect. They were obviously formed by copying my work, my design ethic - style maybe - and they lack the particular unique, crackpot chink in my armour, or error that only I could have made.
HELEN
Yay!!!  
PHILIP
Right.
HELEN
So are you going to keep using it?
PHILIP
Hell no.  There's absolutely no fun in it. I only tried it out of curiousity in the first place. And that cat is now well and truly dead.
HELEN
Good to know. 
MUSIC TRANSITION
SCENE 5
THE KITCHEN
ILSE
Did they want anything to eat?
KATIE
No, just the coffee.  Who is he? D'ye know" 
ILSE
He's Helen's husband?
KATIE
Really?  I didn't know she had a husband. I thought he must have died.
ILSE
No, very much alive. 
KATIE
But he doesn't live with her, does he? Are they divorced?
ILSE
I don't think so.
KATIE
They seem to be getting on really well. Talking about evolution, and AI and sh*t.
ILSE
Goodness! Evolution, and AI, and...  stuff. What ever next?
KATIE
Mrs Docherty seems to know a lot about it.
ILSE
She knows a lot about a lot of things, Katie. What about you?
KATIE
Me? I don't know much about anything.
ILSE
Now I don't believe that for a moment. I bet you could say quite a lot about evolution if you wanted to.
KATIE
Aye. Maybe.
ILSE
What does that mean? You know what evolution is, don't you?
KATIE
Of course.  But I don't think Mrs Docherty is right about it.
ILSE
Oh.  And where do you think she is going wrong?
KATIE
Weeellll... She says if we all use the AI all the time, and it's doing everything for us, that will be the end of evolution of the human species. 
ILSE
Ok. And why not? What will save us?
KATIE
Well I think we might be heading for the end of the human species, but it won't be from evolution. It will be from the weather, or maybe stupidity. Whichever one gets us first.
ILSE
Goodness! That's a strong statement. Can you justify it.
KATIE
(laughing)
You sound just like my biology teacher, Mrs McKinney.
ILSE
Yes, but can you?
KATIE
Aye!  Evolution happens when we reproduce. With sex.  The mutations happen in the fertilisation process. We can't control it, and it takes years and years to make any difference. Thousands. Millions of years. 
ILSE
So where does using AI come into this?
KATIE
Well.  Using the AI, it's just a new technology. Might have some sort of use. but it makes us lazy, and stops us from being creative, and interesting, and it's the creative people who do the inventing, but if they're all using AI, it's the evolution of the technology that will fail. No' the species. Does that make sense? D'ye know what I mean?
ILSE
I... think... so... I think you may be on to something. Is that coffee ready?
KATIE
Oh!! Yes, I'll take it out.
ILSE
Good girl.  And after that... How about you have a go at sorting out world peace?
KATIE
Sure! ... Say what? 
ILSE
(laughs) Oh Katie...

OUTRO
FLLOYD
That was "Imperfection Rocks My World" Episode 6 of Season 13. You heard Wendy Lap as Katie, Roy R Carruthers as Philip, and Flloyd Kennedy as Helen, Janey and Ilse.

The music is written and performed by John T La Barbera's "In The Labyrinth", available on Bandcamp.

Please Support the Show over at BuyMeaCoffee.com/amIoldyet. It helps me to pay the actors, and John for their lovely work.
Transcript is available on the episode website https://amIoldyet.com/s13e6

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Thanks for listening. Stay safe.