Perimenopause at 56: No Hot Flashes—Just 15 Pounds I Can't Lose

Perimenopause at 56: No Hot Flashes—Just 15 Pounds I Can't Lose

Apparently, I'm in perimenopause.

At 56.

And no, I'm not waking up drenched in sweat. I'm not standing in front of the freezer during a hot flash. I don't suddenly want to throttle my husband.

Honestly, I don't have most of the symptoms I always associated with perimenopause.

What I do have?

About 15 pounds that seemed to show up practically overnight and apparently have no intention of leaving.

And it is making me crazy.

I exercise. I prioritize protein. I drink my water. I get enough sleep. I'm taking progesterone. I'm even on a GLP-1—and yet my body suddenly seems to be playing by an entirely different set of rules.

For someone who has struggled with weight since middle school, this has been particularly frustrating.

I've spent a lifetime thinking that if I just did the “right” things, eventually my body would cooperate.

Right now?

Not so much.

Which is exactly why our conversation about perimenopause, menopause and hormones with Amy Milker of Medical Rejuvenation hit so close to home for me.

Wait...You Can Be in Perimenopause Without Hot Flashes?

This was probably one of my biggest takeaways from our conversation.

For years, I had a very specific picture in my head of what menopause looked like: hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings and eventually your period disappearing.

If those things weren't happening, I assumed I wasn't there yet.

Turns out, the conversation is much bigger than that.

Clinically, menopause is defined as going 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period. But women can experience all kinds of changes during the years leading up to menopause—and we don't all experience them the same way.

For some women, sleep suddenly becomes a disaster.

For others, it's anxiety, mood changes, changes in sex drive or feeling like they simply aren't themselves.

And for some of us, apparently, our body just decides to hold onto weight like it's preparing for a very long winter.

Which brings me back to those 15 pounds.

Why Does My Body Suddenly Feel Different?

This is the part that really hit home for me.

I've had three children. I've gained weight. I've lost weight. I've dieted. I've exercised. I've done Weight Watchers. I've counted things. I've restricted things. I've probably tried just about every version of “I'm starting Monday” that exists.

Weight and I have a long history together.

But this feels different.

It feels like my body changed the rules without sending me the updated instruction manual.

I'm exercising.

I'm paying attention to protein.

I'm staying hydrated.

I'm sleeping.

I'm using a GLP-1.

And yet the weight—particularly around my midsection—does not seem to want to budge.

During the episode, I actually brought up my concern about visceral fat and the fact that I'd reached a weight-loss plateau. That led us into a fascinating conversation about hormones, testosterone, muscle mass and the changes that can happen to body composition as we age.

And that was an aha moment for me.

Not because I suddenly had the answer to why I've gained weight—I don't.

But because maybe the question isn't simply:

“What am I doing wrong?”

Maybe the better question is:

“What has changed in my body?”

That's a very different conversation.

And Then There's Sleep...

Sleep has been an issue for me for years.

I can usually fall asleep without much trouble. My problem is waking up in the middle of the night—often to go to the bathroom—and then lying there wondering why my brain has decided that 3:00 a.m. is an excellent time to be awake.

We talked about that exact scenario during the episode because sleep disruption can be part of the conversation around hormonal changes in midlife.

And again, this is where I realized how easy it is to separate everything into different little boxes.

Weight is one box.

Sleep is another.

Hormones are another.

Mood is another.

Energy is another.

But maybe we need to start looking at the entire picture.

Progesterone, Estrogen and Testosterone—WTF Do We Actually Need?

This was the part of the conversation where my head nearly exploded.

Amy walked us through how she approaches progesterone, estrogen and testosterone in her practice and why she believes hormone care should be much more individualized.

We talked about progesterone and sleep, estrogen, vaginal estrogen, testosterone, muscle mass, body composition, hormone testing and the difficulty many women experience trying to find someone who actually specializes in this area.

We also talked about something I hadn't really considered before:

What questions should I actually be asking my healthcare provider?

Because walking into an appointment and saying, “I feel like crap” isn't always enough.

One of the simplest questions Amy suggested asking was essentially:

“What do you offer women who are going through perimenopause?”

That conversation can tell you quite a bit about how comfortable your provider is treating women during this stage of life.

And that's important because there isn't one universal hormone prescription that is appropriate for every woman.

Your age, medical history, symptoms, medications and individual risk factors matter. Hormone therapy is something to discuss with a qualified healthcare provider who can evaluate you.

This episode isn't medical advice—and neither is this blog.

It's a conversation designed to help women know that there may be more questions worth asking.

Why Aren't We Talking About This Earlier?

This may have been the thing that frustrated me most.

Why did I get to 56 years old knowing so little about what could actually happen to my body during perimenopause and menopause?

I knew about hot flashes.

That's about it.

Why weren't we talking about sleep?

Why weren't we talking about changes in body composition?

Why weren't we talking about vaginal and urinary health?

Why weren't we talking about muscle?

Why weren't we talking about the different roles hormones can play throughout our bodies?

And why do so many women reach their 40s and 50s thinking they're somehow failing because their body suddenly isn't responding the way it used to?

There was also an important discussion in the episode about hormone testing, insurance coverage and why getting answers isn't always as simple as asking for a blood test.

Which is exactly why I think these conversations matter.

At 56, I'm Just Starting to Ask the Questions

Here's where I am right now:

I'm still figuring this out.

I haven't magically solved the 15-pound mystery.

I'm not suddenly an expert in hormones because we recorded a podcast episode.

And I'm definitely not giving anyone medical advice.

But I walked away from this conversation realizing something important:

Maybe my body isn't suddenly failing me. Maybe it's changing—and I need to understand what changed.

At 56, I'm asking questions I honestly didn't even know I was supposed to ask.

What are my hormones doing?

Could hormonal changes be contributing to some of the changes I'm seeing in my body?

Are there things I should be testing?

What symptoms should I actually be paying attention to?

And perhaps most importantly:

Am I working with someone who is willing to listen when I say, “I don't feel like myself”?

Because “this is just what happens when you get older” isn't a particularly satisfying answer anymore.

And if you've suddenly found yourself looking in the mirror—or stepping on the scale—and thinking:

“WTF just happened to my body?”

Trust me.

You're exactly the woman we made this episode for.

Listen to the Full Episode

Midlife Perimenopause Symptoms | Why You Don't Feel Like Yourself

Listen to the full conversation on WTF Just Happened? to hear our discussion about perimenopause, menopause, hormones, sleep, body changes, weight, and the questions women may want to start asking about their health in midlife.