Understanding the Parts of Self: A Beginner’s Guide to Ego State Therapy

This Way In – Episode 3: Parts Series, Part 1

Have you ever felt like part of you wants to get your life together… while another part wants to binge snacks and doomscroll in bed? Yeah, us too. In this episode of This Way In, we’re diving into a framework that helps make sense of those inner contradictions: the Parts of Self, also known as Ego State Therapy.

This is the first episode in our multipart Parts Series, and it’s a juicy one. Brittney introduces the six foundational parts that shape our internal worlds, and Amy brings the curiosity (and the perfect dose of real-talk). Whether you're brand new to parts work or already exploring your inner landscape, this conversation will open your eyes to how your mind is organized—and how it can heal.

🧩 What Are the “Parts of Self”?

Brittney introduces us to six key ego states that make up our internal system:

• Kid – Playful, fun-seeking, emotional

• Nurturer – Caring, empathetic, affirming

• Logical – The rational planner and problem-solver

• Responsible – The taskmaster, doer, and get-it-done-er

• Critical – The inner judge, often shaped by past wounds

• Protector – The defender, fixer, avoider, and sometimes… the saboteur

These aren’t “multiple personalities.” They’re facets of one unified self, each with a job to do. Sometimes they work together in harmony. Sometimes… they don’t.

⚖️ Burdened vs. Unburdened Parts

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is the concept of burdened vs. unburdened parts.

💡 An unburdened part does what it’s supposed to do, healthily and helpfully.

💔 A burdened part is weighed down by trauma, unmet needs, or painful memories—and it might act out in ways that no longer serve you.

For example:

• A burdened Critical part might constantly shame you.

• A burdened Protector might keep you isolated.

• A burdened Kid might be stuck in fear, anxiety, or shutdown.

Understanding these burdens can help you start to unburden them—and move toward healing.

🧠 Why This Matters

When we’re unaware of our parts, we often feel:

• Confused by our own behaviors

• Stuck in negative cycles

• Unable to change, even when we want to

But when we recognize and work with our parts, we can:

• Show ourselves more compassion

• Better understand triggers and emotional reactions

• Reclaim access to joy, motivation, and connection

⚠️ Important: This Work Can Be Intense

Brittney shares a word of caution: digging into parts work can uncover memories, emotions, or beliefs you didn’t know were there. If things start to feel heavy or overwhelming, it’s OK to pause. And if you're ready to go deeper, consider working with a trained ego state or IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapist.

As Brittney says: “This can be fun—but it can also get hairy.”

📚 Want to Learn More?

Here are a few of Brittney’s recommended reads:

• The Shadow Work Journal – Great for beginners exploring hidden or unconscious parts

• You're the One You’ve Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz – An approachable IFS guide

• Easy Ego State Interventions by Robin Shapiro – Practical and clinician-friendly

We’ll include links in the show notes and on our website.

🛠 Coming Up Next: The Kid Part

In our next episode, we’ll zoom in on the Kid Part—the part of you that craves play, feels all the feelings, and might be stuck in time. Spoiler alert: we all have one.

Don’t miss it. Subscribe now on Spotify, Apple, Amazon, or wherever you listen to podcasts.