Understanding the Critical Part: How Your Inner Voice Shapes Your Choices

In this episode of This Way In, Brittney and I dive into one of the most influential—and often misunderstood—parts of self: the Critical Part. This isn’t just the inner voice that nitpicks your life choices or comments on your hair in the morning. It’s a deeply wired system that develops in early childhood and shapes our boundaries, our beliefs, and the way we move through the world.

Where the Critical Part Comes From

Most of us met our Critical Part long before we had the language to describe it. Think “terrible twos”: the fierce no, the “me do it,” the early attempts at autonomy. That’s the Critical Part emerging—helping us decide what we like, what we don’t, and what matters.
When this part is unburdened, it’s a powerhouse for good decision-making. It helps us stay aligned with our values and goals, and it checks in with logic and responsibility.

But when it’s burdened—often because of childhood criticism, trauma, or long-term stress—it becomes something else entirely. Instead of guiding us, it starts controlling us.

How the Critical Part Becomes a Problem

A burdened critical part doesn’t distinguish between helpful critique and emotional demolition. It bulldozes kid parts, shuts down nurturing parts, and teams up with the Protector Part to seek “safety” at all costs.

That’s where things go sideways.

• Relationships start to feel tense or one-sided.

• Self-esteem drops, no matter how capable you actually are.

• Safety gets confused with control.

• Freedom shrinks. And so does your world.

We also talk about how this shows up across generations—why Gen X kids were raised feral, why Millennials got bubble-wrapped, and how every generation tends to overcorrect the last.

Critical Thinking vs. Judgment

One of the most important distinctions we unpack is the difference between critical thinking and judgment. An unburdened critical part analyzes; a burdened one assumes.
That “I don’t like that” reflex—before we even try the thing?
That’s not intuition.
That’s the toddler-brain version of the critical part calling the shots.

The “God Position” and Getting Unstuck

Brittney also brings in an important idea from AA: the God position—that place where we believe we know what’s best for everyone, including ourselves.
It keeps us stuck, rigid, and unable to change.
Recognizing the God position is often the first step toward real growth, whether you’re navigating addiction, emotional patterns, or your own stubborn beliefs.

What Healthy Looks Like

A healthy critical part knows when to work and when to clock out.
Brittney uses Paul Rudd as the perfect example—someone who can show up fully for the serious stuff, then slide back into his authentic, playful self without dragging the job home.

If your own critical part struggles to do that, you’re not alone. Most of us never learned how. This episode offers a way to start.

Listen to the Full Episode

We get into all of it: childhood shaping, internal conflict, judgment, control, freedom, cultural patterns, and what it actually looks like to unburden the critical part so it stops running your life.

If you’ve ever felt like your inner voice is too loud, too harsh, or too convinced it knows best, this episode is for you.