Parts of Self: An Introduction to Ego State Therapy

Episode 3 Recap from This Way In Podcast

Welcome back to This Way In! In Episode 3, we begin a brand-new series exploring a powerful therapeutic model: Parts of Self, sometimes known as ego state therapy. If you’ve ever wondered why part of you feels excited to start something new, while another part just wants to scroll TikTok in your pajamas—this episode is for you.

Your hosts Brittney (licensed trauma therapist) and Amy (resident curious layperson) unpack the six foundational parts that live inside us all. Yes, even you. Especially you.

What Are the Parts of Self?

Brittney walks us through the six core ego states that most of us carry:

• Kid Part – playful, curious, fun-seeking (and sometimes overwhelmed)

• Nurturing Part – the one who comforts you and others

• Responsible Part – takes care of business and keeps you functioning

• Logical Part – plans, organizes, problem-solves

• Critical Part – judges, critiques, tries to protect through control

• Protector Part – keeps you emotionally or physically safe, even if it means avoidance

These parts are all pieces of one whole personality—not different personalities. Think of it like a car engine. One system, many parts, each with a job to do.

When Things Are Going Well…

You’re likely functioning from your Logical, Responsible, Nurturing, and Kid parts. That might look like:

• Doing your job efficiently (Responsible + Logical)

• Making time for friends and hobbies (Kid + Nurturing)

• Feeling emotionally balanced and supported

When these parts work together, life feels… manageable. Even joyful.

…And When Things Aren’t

When stress, trauma, or emotional overload hits, your Critical and Protector parts might take over the wheel. And that’s where things can spiral. These parts are trying to help—but their methods may be outdated or extreme. That might show up as:

• Harsh self-talk or judgment

• Avoidance behaviors (like doom-scrolling or excessive numbing)

• Outbursts of anger, anxiety, or emotional shutdowns

Left unaddressed, these burdened parts can disrupt everything from relationships to basic functioning.

What Does It Mean to Be “Burdened”?

A “burdened” part is a part carrying unresolved pain, fear, shame, or trauma. A burdened Kid part might feel unsafe in joyful situations. A burdened Protector might block emotional closeness. A burdened Critical part might tell you you’re never good enough.

Understanding which parts are burdened—and helping them release those burdens—is the heart of ego state therapy.

Why This Work Matters

Ego state work helps you understand why you react the way you do—and it gives you language to explore your inner world with more compassion.

It can also help you:

• Reframe behaviors you’ve struggled to change

• Understand inner conflicts (like wanting to start a new project but never actually doing it)

• Recognize when you’re spiraling—and choose something different

But as Brittney reminds us: this work can also stir up old pain. If something deep comes up for you while exploring these concepts, take a break. Seek help from a trained therapist, especially one familiar with ego state or IFS (Internal Family Systems) work.

Recommended Reading

Want to go deeper? These books are a great place to start:

Books for Laypeople:

The Shadow Work Journal: A Guide to Integrate and Transcend Your Shadows by Keila Shaheen:

Paperback: https://amzn.to/48jhS2x

You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting for by Richard Schwartz: https://amzn.to/4gy3NAE

Easy Ego State Interventions by Robin Shapiro (accessible and clinician-friendly) https://amzn.to/3IaKkcx

Therapist-Oriented Books (for deeper reading):

EMDR Toolbox by Jim Knipe https://amzn.to/42H3AVP

Works by Sandra Paulsen on preverbal trauma

The Dynamic Needs Meeting Strategy (DNMS) by  Shirley Jean Schmidt MA LPC https://amzn.to/4mugMV3

Looking Through the Eyes of Trauma and Dissociation: An illustrated guide for EMDR therapists and clients by Sandra Paulsen, Ph.D https://amzn.to/48bbCKv

Next Up: The Kid Part

In the next episode, we’ll explore the Kid Part in more depth—where it comes from, what it needs, and how to nurture it (without letting it run the show). It’s going to be insightful and kind of fun.

Subscribe now so you don’t miss it!

💫 And remember:
It’s your journey. We’re just your tour guides.