Feb. 14, 2025
Valentine’s Day: Flawed Love
A discussion about love from a theological perspective
A discussion about love from a theological perspective
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Looking at our world from a theological perspective. This is
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the Theology Central podcast, making Theology Central. Good morning everyone.
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It is Friday, February the fourteenth, twenty twenty five. It
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is currently eleven twenty three am Central Time, and I
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am coming to you live from the Theology Central Studio
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located right here in Abilene, Texas. Now I have to
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stress I'm coming to you live from the Theology Central Studio.
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The name of this podcast is Theology Central because we
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are about to talk about something from a philological perspective
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and a lot of people are not going to like it.
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But we're going to talk about this from a theological perspective.
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We're going to talk about it from a perspective that
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I think conforms to reality, not to maybe our ideal,
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our romanticized idea of something. But we're going to talk
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about it from a brutally honest, realistic, and philological perspective.
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And I doubt it's going to make anyone happy, but
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we have to do it. Now. It's February the fourteenth,
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It's Valentine's Day, right. Love is in the air. Right.
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If you look on some of your music streaming services
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right now, they have all kinds of playlists dedicated to love,
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dedicated to romance. Now they also have a lot of
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playlists dedicated to heartbreak and loneliness and isolation and pain
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and discouragement, because well, Valentine's Day brings in lots of
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different emotions for lots of different people. But it's Valentine's Day,
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that day that we're supposed to celebrate love and romance
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and all of these types of things. And look, you,
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maybe I don't care if it's Valentine's Day. You may disregard,
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you may not care, but just consider this. In twenty
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twenty five, this year, are you ready for this Valentine's Day?
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Spending in the United States of America is going to
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reach a record of twenty seven point five billion dollars.
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Twenty seven point five billion dollars is going to be
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spent on this Valentine's Day. For February the fourteenth, twenty
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twenty five, The average consumer is planning to spend approximately
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one hundred and eighty eight dollars and eighty one cents.
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This marks an increase from twenty five point eight billion
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spent in twenty twenty four. The most popular expenditures will
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include jewelry and evening out, candy, flowers and greeting cards.
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And for many because this Valentine's Day falls on a Friday,
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so you have the weekend. Well it may be a
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romantic weekend away, so there's going to be lots of
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money spent. Now, most of this money spent on Valentine's
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Day is indeed, I think this is important. It is
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directed towards celebrating love. I think that I think we
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can agree with that. To celebrate romance or it's the
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pursuit of love and romance, people will buy gifts like jewelry, flowers, candy,
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and greeting cards to express love and affection to their partners,
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family and friends. Romantic dinners, romantic trips and other experiences
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also account for a significant portion of the spending that's
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celebrating relationships or even seeking new romantic connections. I watch
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it just twenty seven point five billion dollars to celebrate love,
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to experience it, to pursue it, to capture it, to
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re ignite it. It's all going to be happening. Well,
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it's it's already Valentine's Day, so it may have already started.
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It'll be definitely kicking into high gear this evening and
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throughout the weekend. It's Valentine's Day. And don't think the
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church is, you know somehow just like well, that's what
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the world does, and the church doesn't pay any attention
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to it. Oh No, even yesterday our daily bread a devotional.
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It comes in printed form, but there's also the podcast.
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It's about a five to ten minute a devotional. Well,
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they always dropped the next day's devotional the previous day,
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and so I saw the notification, hit play on it
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for you know, about two or three minutes. And guess
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what it was about. It was about love. If you
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look on the sermon's two point oh app and you
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look at the trending hashtags for today, guess what one
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of the trending hashtags is for today. It's on love.
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If you look on all the streaming services music services,
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love playlist are all over the place. I think serious
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exim even I just sent out a notification. Maybe it
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was earlier this morning about the Love Channel and different
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channels dedicated to love. If you look on some of
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the streaming services for movies and television shows, romantic comedies
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are being pushed to the forefront because it's all about love. Now.
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I think that when we start thinking about this, we
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have to think about this, you know, from a maybe
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maybe from slightly a different perspective. But I think we
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should do this. I think this is fair because I
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don't want to go immediately, because I'm going to approach
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this from a way that again a lot. I've already
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tried to make it clear from a philological perspective, from
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a brutally honest perspective, and I know that's going to
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sound it's going to sound very negative, but let's at
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least do this. If we think of human beings, we
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have this ideal of love, We have this concept of
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what it should be, and we have maybe feelings, maybe dreams,
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maybe fantasies of what it should be, what it could be,
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what we want it to be. Right, if you think
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of humanity's ideal of love, I think we can agree
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with this that when it comes to human beings for
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the most part. Now there's always exceptions, but I think
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in general humans, when we think of love, we think
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of emotional connection. Love is typically seen as this deep
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emotional bond that brings happiness, It brings comfort, it brings belonging. Right,
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there has to be this sense of strong emotional connection.
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I think that that's our ideal of what it should be,
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of what it is. I think we can agree that
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at least to some level. Right, Not only is there
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this ideal that our ideal, our our ideal understanding, our
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ideal concept of love involves an emotional connection. I think
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we can agree with them. Another part of our ideal,
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you know, concept of love, would be romantic fulfillment. Especially
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within popular culture, it betrays love is passionate, exhilarating, fulfilling,
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often centered on romance, attraction, and intimacy. I think we
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we can definitely agree with that. Now they're there, we
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can get into I mean, we could really try to
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break this all down, but I think there's no way
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to get around that. At least the ideal of love
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involves emotional connection and romantic fulfillment. I think number three
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mutual support for us as humans, ideal love includes loyalty, trust,
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unwavering support through life's challenges, the idea that hey, someone's
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gonna support me. They're gonna be there, they're gonna they're
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gonna they're gonna support what I'm doing, encouraging it being
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a part of it. I think those I think those
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three things, I think that's accurate. I don't think that's
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being I think that's trying to be fair. That are
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we have this ideal of love that involves emotional connection,
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romantic fulfillment, and mutual support. I think this is another part.
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I think we can agree with this. You can, you
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can tell me if you disagree, but I think we
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can mostly agree with this, that our ideal of love
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involves self lessness and sacrifice. Love is typically in our
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in our minds, seen as this self giving where we
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prioritize another's well being even at our own personal cost.
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Now that's the ideal. It's selfless, it's not selfish, it's selfless,
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and it's sacrifice. And you care more about the other
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person than you care about yourself. This is the ideal
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idea of love. This is what we This is what
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we want it to be. This maybe how it shows
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up and music and movies and poetry and and and
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novels and and this is the way we have this
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kind of almost a romanticized idea of what it should be.
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It involves emotional connection, it involves romantic fulfillment, It involves
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mutual support. It is selfless and sacrificial. Number five. I
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think our ideal concept of love also has this idea
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of unconditional acceptance. I think we often envision love as
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accepting and cherishing someone despot despite their flaws and failures.
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I think that that's fair right that our concept of love,
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our idea of love, is that we we envision that
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love accepts and cherishes someone despite flaws and failures. I
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think number six, we also are ideal concept of love.
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Would it would would would talk about security and stability. See,
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love is seen as a safe haven. It provides emotional
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and relational security that there's a security there, there's a
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stability there, there's a safety there. You can feel safe,
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and by feeling safe, you can feel free. That this
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is our what we want it to be. So our
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humanity's ideal of love is emotional connection, romantic fulfillment, mutual support,
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self lessness and being sacrificial, unconditional acceptance, some sense of
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security and stability. Number seven. Enduring commitment. Enduring commitment the
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ideal love. It lasts through well time, It goes through trials,
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it goes through challenges, it goes through changes, and it
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remains steadfast. It endures at lasts. It doesn't fluctuate, it
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doesn't fall apart, it doesn't it stays. It endures because
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it's love. Right. Love is different than like. Love is
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different than oh you're cool, or that's interesting, or that's
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fun or oh wow, that's exciting. It's something deeper. That's
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the way we understand it to be. We I mean,
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the love the word we know, at least to some level,
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we think that's got to be saved for something. Now,
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sometimes we use it in obviously for everything. I love
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this food, I love this I love this weather. But
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when it comes to people, typically we feel that it's
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got to be guarded a little bit because it means
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something deeper. It's this enduring commitment. How about it also
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involves personal growth and fulfillment. Love is often viewed as
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a source of personal development, bringing out the best in
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each other and providing purpose. So humanity's ideal love is
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emotional connection, romantic fulfillment, mutual support, selflessness and sacrificial unconditional acceptance,
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security and stability, enduring commitment, personal growth, and fulfillment. I
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think that that captures are ideal of love. And you
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can hear that ideal. I mean, just go I mean,
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if you have SERIOUSXM, go listen to the Love channel today,
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whatever music streaming service, go look up love playlist. You're
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gonna hear these ideals expressed over and over and over
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and over and just I mean, obviously the subject has
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captured popular music. If you go back just to nineteen
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fifty to twenty twenty five, you have hundreds and hundreds
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of thousands of songs written to describe one of those
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aspects of love. You have. Think of all the poetry
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that has been written love, love, love, love love. It's
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I mean billions of dollars spent to supposedly celebrate this
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ideal of love. See. I think Valentine's Day is more
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about celebrating the ideal than maybe the reality. So as
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we're sitting there listening, thinking, feeling, hoping, wanting this ideal,
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celebrating it, pursuing it, looking for it, searching it, cherishing it,
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treasuring it, protecting it, well, whatever we are in that
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whole concept, I think we need kind of a reality check. Now.
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Those ideals may reflect our highest aspiration, it may reflect
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our highest desire for this kind of love, but I
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would argue, real life, real life, turn off the hall
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turn off the television, turn off the movies, turn off
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the music, turn put down the novel, look at life.
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In reality, there's typically a grand Canyon chasm, this immense chasm,
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this gap between our ideal and the reality of what
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it is. And I think this is due to human beings, limitations,
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human beings self interest, and human beings in perfection. So
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I'm going to put forth my very very very very
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very very very very very non Valentine's Day hypotheses love. Now,
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you're not gonna hear this in church. You're not gonna
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hear this in chapel service. You're not gonna hear this
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in small group. You're not gonna hear this in Bible study.
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You're not gonna hear this in any other Christian podcast.
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Because I'm about to just say that entire ideal of
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love is completely fraudulent. It is fake. It is a mirage.
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It is a lie. It is you chase it, you
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think you oh, I found this oasis, and you jump
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and boom, it's nothing but well dirt. It's a mirage.
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It's not really there. It's fraudulent. It's fake. Now, I
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love that we have these aspirations. I love that our
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emotions and feelings can maybe even convince us of it there.
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But I think the reality is unless you unless you
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can enter into a new universe, unless you can enter
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into another world, unless there's a doorway there that you
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can open and walk through on the other side of
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the door. For most people, no, no, no, that doesn't exist.
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There's a reality. So here's my hypothesis on human love
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and self interest. Here's my core premise, here's my basic
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way of explaining it. I believe human love is inherently selfish.
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I believe human love is inherently driven by self interest,
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and that human love is driven by self preservation rather
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than self lessness. I believe human love is selfish. It
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is self self interest, focused on self interest. It is
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self It preserves self. It is not self less. It
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is selfish by definition. I think the essence of human
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love is self interest. I think that's what it is.
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It is about the ex of self. It is about
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what you can get. It's selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish,
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and that comes to our love for others, and that
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comes to our love for God. It is self centered,
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self focused, self pursuing what you truly you may say
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you love God, you may say you love someone else,
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you love your self. Now, I told you, I'm looking
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at this from a theological perspective. I know this is
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ruining Valentine's Day for some of you. I know someone
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from the other rooms like, turn that trash off. We
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have Valentine's Day. We're gonna celebrate love. Why are you
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listening to that? Idiot? And I can understand. It destroys
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the what we want it to be. Look, we can
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all want something, we can all pursue something, we can
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all dream of it, we can all think. But at
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some point from at least when we turn on a
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