The Stupidity of Giving Gifts

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Looking at our world from a theological perspective.

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This is the Theology Central podcast making Theology Central.

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Good afternoon everyone. It is Friday, December the twenty seventh,

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twenty twenty four. It is currently three point fifty two

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pm Central Time, and I am coming to you live

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from the Theology Central studio located right here in Abilene, Texas.

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Christmas is over. Christmas twenty twenty four is in the

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history books and is over. We can move forward, we

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can forget about it. We can just we can just

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see what's in front of us. But before we really

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can do that, we kind of have to stop and

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we have to ask everyone. I guess this is kind

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of a question you have to ask everyone. So what

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did you get for Christmas? Did you love your gift?

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Did you dislike it? Did you have to pretend that

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it was an amazing gift when in reality you were thinking,

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what is this? What am I going to do with this?

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Did you what did you get for Christmas? What? Now?

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For some of you, you love gift giving. You think

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it's great. You love to receive, you love to give.

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You like to wrap the presence, You like shopping for them.

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You like everything about gift giving. Others of you may

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be a little bit and different, and there are some

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of us we may be in the minority of the

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minority of the minority that we tend to see all

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of the gift giving as kind of stupid, and it

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puts you over and over in circumstances and situations where

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you have to kind of pretend. A good example of

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pretending is kind of what I'm doing right now, because

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the reality is last few days hasn't been so good,

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and I'm kind of little and I've already tried to

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do this broadcast once and then the internet crash, so

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I'm doing this again. So I've got to kind of

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now kind of pretend to be like, yeah, let's do

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this broadcast when I'm really thinking, I don't even want

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to do this. I'm frustrated, I'm irritated, and but I've

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got to do the broadcast. Guess I haven't broadcasted in

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the last few days. I'm gonna brodcast the last few

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days because things haven't been going very well. That's all. So,

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but that's a little bit like gift giving, right, You

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get a gift and you have to go, oh, I'm

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so surprised. Oh this is amazing, when in reality you

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may be thinking, what is this right? There's a little

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bit okay, maybe you disagree, Maybe you don't ever have

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done that once in your life. I bet you have.

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So I tend to be very negative about gift giving.

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I'm just gonna be honest. I'm gonna be honest. I'm

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gonna be honest. So for full transparency, I'm going to

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explain why I have such a negative view on gift giving.

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And I look, I'm more than aware of my bias.

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I know I'm bringing a biases into this conversation. So

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for full transparency, I've got to explain what gives me

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such a bias against gift giving if we're going to

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be talking about gift giving. But at the same time, Anya,

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I'm because of the last few days and things not going well,

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I'm a little frustrated and irritated, and because I've already

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tried this broadcast once in the Internet crash, and I

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got to do it again. Yeah, I'm already a little

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bit irritated. So you may hear a little edge in

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my voice. So I'm coming at this with a somewhat

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of a bias. You'll understand why, maybe a little frustrated.

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So maybe the whole concept will even sound more frustrating

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when they even have to try to talk about it.

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But at least you understand how I'm approaching it, and

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I'm admitting that, right, you may be able to present

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all the beauty of gift giving. Fifty reasons why gift

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giving is an important part of our social fabric. It

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makes us people, it makes us humans. To give is

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to be human. Whatever, however, you would like to put

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it in a much more positive light. You can record

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your episode and send it to me and tell me

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why I'm all wrong. But I have a tendency to

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approach it. I do. But now, look that doesn't mean

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I believe the entire concept of gift giving is bad.

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I just believe there is a the way it is

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done and how sometimes it plays out within our social

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construct is that it is just inherently illogical and stupid

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in many ways, not in every way, but in many way.

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Let me please state that, not in every way, but

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in many ways. So why do I have maybe such

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a I know what you're saying, You're like, man, what

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is what is your problem? And you're all negative? I

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know I can be I know I can be, but

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I'm gonna be. I'm trying to explain all right now.

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As I stated at the beginning in my introduction, it

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is Friday, December the twenty seventh. Being December the twenty

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seventh means absolutely probably nothing to you, or maybe it does,

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but it has great significance to me because December the

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twenty seventh, in many ways, is the day that gift

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giving died for me. On December the twenty seventh, when

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I was young, on this day, many many years ago,

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when I was young, gift giving died. It turned on.

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It turned into something far more negative than I would

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have ever dreamed would happen in my life. So I

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bring that bias. Is so what happened? All right? Well,

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now there's some memory issues with remembering exactly how this

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played out, right, so I could just tell one story.

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But however I tell the story, let me just tell you.

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I know that there may be some gaps in it.

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It's not perfect. I can't just call people and ask

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because everyone is dead, so I can't ask anyone exactly

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how this played out. But to the best of my

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recollection is I wanted to give my mom a Christmas

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gift or a birthday gift. Because Christmas December the twenty fifth,

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her birthday December the twenty seventh, right, so I wanted

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to either give her a Christmas gift or a birthday gift.

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I didn't have money to give her either one. If

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I remember correctly. On December the twenty fifth, may have

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been the twenty fourth, twenty fifth, I don't know. I

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received some type of card something that had money in it.

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So I was like, I'm gonna take my money and

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I'm gonna buy my mom Christmas slash birthday gift. Now.

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I lived in Buffalo Gap, Texas, population maybe two hundred

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and thirty people at the time. Right, but right behind

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my house, right if you walked up the back door

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of my house, across the backyard, there was this row

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of these. It looked like something from the eighteen hundreds, right,

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like an old West town that had a little wooden sidewalk,

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even had the horse post where you could tie up

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your horse right right there in front, and this little

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wooden sidewalk. And you walked down a little wooden sidewalk,

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and there was the general store. It was supposed to

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look like a store, maybe like from the eighteen hundreds,

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but it had all kinds of trinkets and just a

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lot of little different things in it. Now I have

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my Christmas money. I'm a little kid, right, I'm a

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little kid. So I run out the back door is

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doing something else. She thinks I'm going out to play.

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But I got the money in my pocket and I

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run to the general store and I run in and

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I'm looking looking, looking, well, how much is this? How

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much is this?

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Okay?

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I don't think is this enough? Like basically kind of

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asking them, is this enough? Well, no, that's not enough.

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There's a glass mug. Ooh do I have enough for that?

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I don't know if I actually had enough or not,

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I don't know. But the woman working the store was like, yeah,

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that's good, and she kind of put it and I said,

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I'm getting it from my mom. Okay, I don't know it.

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She like took it in a brown the brown bag

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and kind of I don't know what she did. She

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kind of and it took maybe another bag. It wasn't

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like a wrap she wrapped it in any meaningful way,

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but it was kind of and it was in some

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kind of bag and I don't remember exactly how it

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looked now I believe it may have been actually December

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the twenty seventh. I think it was actually her birthday.

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It could have been December the twenty sixth, but I'm

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believing it was December the twenty seventh because now I'm

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gonna give her birthday gifts lash Christmas gift on December

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the twenty seventh. So I go run into the house.

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I'll never forget it. It's like a gray kind of

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it was kind of somewhat cold for a being a Texas,

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a West Texas Christmas, so it's somewhat chilly. I ran

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into the back door, right uh, and the back door

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opened into the kitchen. She's standing in the kitchen and

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I'm like, I got you a present, right all excited.

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She takes it. I don't remember if she just pulled

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it out of the bag, if it was wrapped in

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any way shape or form. It was not like in

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a you know, typically like you would wrap a present.

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She looked at the gift, this glass mug, looked back

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at me, looked back at the gift, and I'll never

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forget her words. Now I've got a somewhat paraphrase, but

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they're they're there and grat They're like being carved into

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my brain, like you know, with a chisel, Like they've

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chiseled into my brain. I'm never gonna forget the basic

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the basic meaning of the words was this is the

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dumbest this is the most stupid gift anyone has ever

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given me. She referred to it as stupid, She referred

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to it as dumb, she referred to it as is worthless.

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And then she took it, and then she smashed it

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into like a million pieces right there on the kitchen floor.

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I will never forget that day as long as I live,

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because at that point I was like, no, no, no, no, no.

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This is the way I'm thinking, No, no, no, mom,

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It's not that my gift was stupid. It's giving gifts

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that are stupid. The whole gift giving thing is stupid.

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That's basically how I felt from that very moment. So

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I bring a biases into this story, all right, I

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bring a biases into this discussion, because we're gonna be

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talking about gift giving. And the reason we're gonna be

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talking about it is because a woman was She had

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gone into Target, she comes out of Target, she gets

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in her car, she takes her phone, she records a

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TikTok video where she offers her very unpopular opinion about

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well gift giving. Right. She even refers to it as

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a non popular opinion. But she's got something to get

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off her chest. She's frustrated by what she saw happening

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in Target, I think on December the twenty third of

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this year. I think it was December the twenty third,

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maybe twenty second. I think it was the twenty third,

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And she did not like what she saw, and she

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was upset about it, and she let everyone know. She

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posted it. The thing went viral at this point, it

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probably has over a million views, over four over a

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million views, over four thousand comments. Everyone seems to be

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divided over her opinion. There's news articles already been written

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in regards to this TikTok video. So what we're gonna

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do is I'm gonna play the audio.

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Now.

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I cannot play all the audio, all right, ladies and gentlemen,

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because at the end, she drops, well an F bomb,

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and I don't think that would really be appropriate for

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the Theology Central podcast, and probably for some of the

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platforms we were on. They would probably then delete this

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entire broadcast. So I cannot do that. In some ways,

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I wanted to hear it because I want her expressions

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to be heard, but I will have to stop it

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prior to that, So it's a very short TikTok video.

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I think the whole thing is about fifty seconds fifty

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two seconds, at about nine seconds ten seconds left to

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have to make sure I hit the pause button or

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things will get very uncomfortable for everyone. So I'm gonna

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do that. But she's going to express her frustrations. Now,

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let me make it very clear. As I critique her

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view on gift giving, I'm going to be offering my

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own critique over gift giving in general. And I know

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that my critique is because of a bias, because on

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December the twenty seventh, many many many years ago, gift

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giving died for me in many aspects. I still believe

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it can be done in a perfect way, maybe not

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a perfect way. I don't think it's ever perfect. It

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can be done in a beautiful way, it can be

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done in a meaningful way, but I think those situations

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are rare and few and far between because of the

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way we've basically constructed this whole gift giving concept, which

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I think is just filled with logical fallacies. It's just

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I think it's all broken. I think the whole thing

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is broken. I have been the recipient of times where

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people have been have given a gift and a correct way,

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and hopefully I've given gifts in a way and a

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correct way. So I'm not saying it's always bad, but man,

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can it go so so horribly wrong? All right, So

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let's listen to this now. This is from TikTok. The

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audio is not great. She recorded it with phone in

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her car. I probably should have, you know, amplified it,

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00:12:25.360 --> 00:12:28.159
but I didn't. So I'm gonna play a little bit

240
00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:30.759
of this then start it over so you can hear it,

241
00:12:30.919 --> 00:12:32.679
because it goes by so fast. It's gonna be like,

242
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you know, forty five seconds. But she gets her point across.

243
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She gets it across succinctly, and whether you agree or disagree,

244
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she gets the point across. Now I've my own personal

245
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feelings as all of her comments is everything wrong with

246
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gift giving. What she's complaining about is the wrong thing

247
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to be complaining about. What she should be complaining about.

248
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It's just the entire, the entire concept of gift giving.

249
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Because her attitude about gift giving is one gift giving

250
00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:03.440
is stupid. All right, here we.

251
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Go unpopular opinion. It is December twenty third.

252
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If my husband looks at me at any point today

253
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and says, the boys and I are going to run

254
00:13:13.799 --> 00:13:16.679
to town. We have some aarons to run, I will

255
00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:20.639
lose my everlasting mind because I just left Target, and

256
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Target is full of men and their children who are

257
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buying their wives last minute crap gifts.

258
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Candles, crappy jewelry blankets. We don't want that.

259
00:13:33.360 --> 00:13:35.639
Hear that. She's mad because she was in Target. She

260
00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:37.960
saw all the men with their kids buying what she

261
00:13:38.039 --> 00:13:43.720
referred to as crap gifts. Candles, cheap jewelry blankets. We

262
00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:47.639
don't want that. So she has an expectation. She wants

263
00:13:47.679 --> 00:13:50.679
a gift, but I had better be a gift of

264
00:13:50.759 --> 00:13:55.440
her choosing what she likes. You better get what she likes,

265
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or it's a crap gift. Now it's hard for me

266
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not to hear her, and I hear my mom looking

267
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at me going, this is stupid, this is this is

268
00:14:04.200 --> 00:14:06.159
the worst gift. This is the dumbest gift of every

269
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and smash it on the floor. That's what I hear

270
00:14:08.519 --> 00:14:11.200
when I hear her. That's what I hear here. Oh,

271
00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:14.840
don't give me some cheap gift. Don't give me. No, no, no, no, no, no,

272
00:14:14.840 --> 00:14:16.720
no no no. You better get me something good. Now

273
00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:19.440
I'm gonna play it again. Now you may not again.

274
00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:21.919
My bias may be coming into play, but you can

275
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listen and see what you think. I'm gonna back this up.

276
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Here we go.

277
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Unpopular opinion. It is December twenty third.

278
00:14:31.039 --> 00:14:33.360
If my husband looks at me at any point today

279
00:14:33.399 --> 00:14:36.159
and says, the boys and I are gonna run to town.

280
00:14:36.279 --> 00:14:39.159
We have some errands to run, I will lose my

281
00:14:39.559 --> 00:14:43.159
everlasting mind because I just left Target, and Target is

282
00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:45.480
full of men and their children who are buying their

283
00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:51.200
wives last minute crap gifts, candles, crappy jewelry, blankets.

284
00:14:52.279 --> 00:14:53.039
We don't want that.

285
00:14:53.919 --> 00:14:57.320
You have three hundred and sixty four or five days

286
00:14:57.360 --> 00:14:59.399
of the year to shop for us, Get us what

287
00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:02.360
we want. I say, did kirk my wish list six

288
00:15:02.399 --> 00:15:05.000
weeks ago, So help me God. If I don't get

289
00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:06.799
something off that wish list and all I get is

290
00:15:06.840 --> 00:15:09.639
crappy candles and blankets from Target, I will lose my

291
00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:10.720
everlasting mind.

292
00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:16.279
Hey, I sent my I sent my wish list six

293
00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:19.360
weeks ago. Six weeks You better give me something on

294
00:15:19.399 --> 00:15:22.159
that list or I will lose my ever living mind.

295
00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:25.559
So for her for gift giving, basically, this is the

296
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way she set it up. You will give me a

297
00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:31.840
gift that I want, and you will put in the

298
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exact same amount of effort and thought is I have

299
00:15:35.159 --> 00:15:37.279
put into you? Well, really, you don't have to put

300
00:15:37.279 --> 00:15:40.600
any thought into it. Just wait for her list. Thank you, honey,

301
00:15:40.679 --> 00:15:43.240
I've got I've got the list, all right, I can

302
00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:45.799
now may I now? May I be able to go

303
00:15:45.840 --> 00:15:48.080
to the store? Is this the right? Oh? I'm sorry?

304
00:15:48.279 --> 00:15:50.559
Did I wait too long? Because I can't go get

305
00:15:50.600 --> 00:15:52.240
you the gift on December the twenty third because I

306
00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:54.200
looked like I didn't put any thought? But did I

307
00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:56.399
really need to go on December the twenty second? Since

308
00:15:56.440 --> 00:15:58.879
I have the list right here, all I gotta do

309
00:15:59.000 --> 00:16:00.759
is just go into the store and so do you

310
00:16:00.840 --> 00:16:03.840
have one of these? And then they look at the list,

311
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:07.000
Yeah we have those, okay, which I'll thank you. And

312
00:16:07.039 --> 00:16:09.919
then I go, oh, look, I've given you a gift. Oh,

313
00:16:10.120 --> 00:16:14.919
act surprised, say, the whole thing is stupid. The whole

314
00:16:14.919 --> 00:16:17.559
thing is not her whole argument is just like, I'm

315
00:16:17.559 --> 00:16:19.320
gonna give you the list and you will get me

316
00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:23.879
what I want. Go get it yourself. Then if you

317
00:16:23.919 --> 00:16:27.279
can't be you know who, no, oh no. If they go,

318
00:16:27.399 --> 00:16:30.080
if they decide to get in a car, drive to town,

319
00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:32.799
go shopping, but because they didn't do it, you know,

320
00:16:33.559 --> 00:16:36.360
two hundred days beforehand, I mean, then that shows they

321
00:16:36.360 --> 00:16:39.440
didn't care. Because they have to go when you think

322
00:16:39.480 --> 00:16:41.399
they should go, they can't get they can't get in

323
00:16:41.440 --> 00:16:43.919
the car together. Maybe they're waiting till Maybe the husband

324
00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:45.919
is waiting till December the twenty third because the kids

325
00:16:45.960 --> 00:16:48.720
are out of school, maybe he's off work. Maybe just

326
00:16:48.840 --> 00:16:50.480
is a great time to get into the car, him

327
00:16:50.519 --> 00:16:52.240
and the kids and they go get But oh no,

328
00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:54.039
don't go to Target because you're gonna get her some

329
00:16:54.159 --> 00:16:57.240
crap gift and she doesn't want a stupid candle or

330
00:16:57.519 --> 00:17:00.279
stupid cheap jewelry. It's got to be what you hear

331
00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:03.519
my frustration, Yeah, my frustration. The whole thing, it just

332
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:07.519
it just screams of what's wrong with the whole concept

333
00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:12.599
of gift giving. The whole thing is messed up. So

334
00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:14.680
what I decided to do is to try to offer

335
00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:17.400
somewhat of an analysis of gift giving, and then I'm

336
00:17:17.400 --> 00:17:18.920
gonna try to look at it from a biblical and

337
00:17:18.920 --> 00:17:21.960
phiological perspective. Is I was gonna do a little bit

338
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:24.359
of a small analysis of what she had to say,

339
00:17:24.400 --> 00:17:25.759
but you heard what she had to say. I can't

340
00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:28.319
play the rest and now now, and good news is

341
00:17:28.359 --> 00:17:30.440
she did do a follow up TikTok and her husband

342
00:17:30.519 --> 00:17:32.920
did follow the rules and did give her what's on

343
00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:35.240
her list. And she's happy. She's got such a great

344
00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:38.799
husband because he follows the rules really well. He gave

345
00:17:38.839 --> 00:17:42.559
her what she wanted on her list. I mean, I mean,

346
00:17:42.759 --> 00:17:46.519
what a what a beautiful Hallmark movie. Here, honey, here's

347
00:17:46.519 --> 00:17:48.640
what I want. Go to the store and get it,

348
00:17:48.759 --> 00:17:51.519
and I'll be happy and I'll make a TikTok video

349
00:17:51.640 --> 00:17:54.640
and tell everyone what a great husband I have because

350
00:17:54.680 --> 00:18:01.640
he follows the rules. Oh, what a beautiful Chris moment. Oh, oh,

351
00:18:01.720 --> 00:18:03.960
I wonder what you got me? What is that present

352
00:18:04.039 --> 00:18:06.839
under the tree? It better be what's on that list?

353
00:18:07.319 --> 00:18:11.119
Oh look at Oh it's so wonderful. Yeah, now I'm

354
00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:14.279
getting really irritated. Okay, so all right, so this is

355
00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:16.279
just the whole problem with gift giving. The whole The

356
00:18:16.279 --> 00:18:18.319
whole concept is just a mess. So are you ready

357
00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:20.920
to analyze gift giving? And to see? Now there is

358
00:18:20.960 --> 00:18:24.279
my bias coming out, There is me responding to that,

359
00:18:24.519 --> 00:18:27.000
which I'm doing so in a very sarcastic way because

360
00:18:27.079 --> 00:18:30.920
it really does irritate me. In fact, listening to it

361
00:18:30.920 --> 00:18:32.960
at that time made it more irritating than all the

362
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:35.680
other times I've listened to it. So there we go.

363
00:18:35.799 --> 00:18:38.759
Do you need to hear it again? Maybe we'll play

364
00:18:38.759 --> 00:18:40.119
it at the end. Well, maybe we'll play it at

365
00:18:40.119 --> 00:18:41.880
the end. So here we go. Let's analyze this orre

366
00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:43.799
you ready? Let's analyze this. So I think it's fair

367
00:18:43.880 --> 00:18:46.880
to say I think this is an accurate description that

368
00:18:47.079 --> 00:18:53.480
gift giving the concept is a complex social practice. I

369
00:18:53.519 --> 00:18:55.519
think it's It is a social practice, and I think

370
00:18:55.559 --> 00:18:58.359
there's some complexities in it. And the reason I'm gonna

371
00:18:58.359 --> 00:19:02.079
say it's complex is because sometimes it's a beautiful expression

372
00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:07.000
of gratitude and love and appreciation, and sometimes it's an

373
00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:12.640
absolute facade, it's a joke, it's vanity of vanity, right,

374
00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:14.960
And I think in many cases gift giving and the

375
00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:17.359
way it kind of plays that shows the sinful nature

376
00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:21.640
maybe better than not giving a gift. And I'll explain

377
00:19:21.720 --> 00:19:24.480
here in a minute. All right, Now, gift giving can

378
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:30.039
bring maybe connection, It can be an expression of affection.

379
00:19:31.799 --> 00:19:37.839
But within gift giving there are inherent challenges and are

380
00:19:37.839 --> 00:19:47.160
you ready for this? I believe logical inconsistencies. So I

381
00:19:47.240 --> 00:19:55.839
gathered quotes from Psychology Today, neuro Launch, Wall Street Journal,

382
00:19:56.880 --> 00:20:05.559
The Daily Telegraph, Vox, and Wikipedia, all giving certain describing

383
00:20:05.599 --> 00:20:10.119
certain parts of gift giving. Are you ready, Let's start

384
00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:18.200
with Psychology Today. Gift giving brings the inherent challenge of

385
00:20:18.559 --> 00:20:27.079
mismatched expectations and preferences. See everyone involved in the gift

386
00:20:27.160 --> 00:20:32.799
giving process, there is an expectation. If I go out

387
00:20:32.839 --> 00:20:34.799
and get you a gift, we'll go back to my

388
00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:37.440
What happened with me on December the twenty seventh, many

389
00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:41.599
many years ago. My expectation was, I'm taking the money

390
00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:45.279
I got for Christmas as a kid, not getting myself

391
00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:48.119
something walking over to a store. I know I wasn't

392
00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:51.400
driving or going far, but going to a store buying

393
00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:53.440
my mom a gift. My expectation she was going to

394
00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:55.799
open it and go oh. She would have to know

395
00:20:55.839 --> 00:20:57.960
that the money came from the money I got for Christmas.

396
00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:02.119
She would be like, oh, how wonderful, how beautiful, how selfless?

397
00:21:02.680 --> 00:21:05.599
You were not being selfish or being selfless. Oh amazing,

398
00:21:05.759 --> 00:21:07.880
this is beautiful. Oh let me, let me get something

399
00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:10.599
to drink right now. And oh look, look everyone, I'm

400
00:21:10.599 --> 00:21:13.039
gonna I'm gonna show everyone who comes over my mug

401
00:21:13.079 --> 00:21:16.480
that you bought me. I thought, I thought everyone. That

402
00:21:16.680 --> 00:21:19.920
was my expectation. I don't know what her expectation was,

403
00:21:19.960 --> 00:21:23.799
but obviously she wasn't expecting a glass mug, if I

404
00:21:23.799 --> 00:21:27.279
could speak correctly, she was expecting something else. So there

405
00:21:27.319 --> 00:21:31.319
was a mismatched expectation. I was expecting one response, she

406
00:21:31.400 --> 00:21:34.319
was expecting something else. And what was the end result?

407
00:21:34.440 --> 00:21:36.759
She took it, told me it was stupid, smashed it

408
00:21:36.759 --> 00:21:39.920
into a million pieces, and ruined my entire life of

409
00:21:40.839 --> 00:21:44.759
the concept of gift giving and preferences. I had the

410
00:21:44.839 --> 00:21:47.759
preference that she was gonna love it. She had the preference.

411
00:21:48.359 --> 00:21:52.079
There's all this mismatch. Now, psychology today says this about

412
00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:56.079
this mismatch. Are you ready that there's a significant issue

413
00:21:56.319 --> 00:22:01.119
in gift giving, and it's the discrepancy between the giver's

414
00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:07.279
perception and the recipient's desires. Givers often choose gifts they

415
00:22:07.359 --> 00:22:11.119
believe are thoughtful, yet they may not align with the

416
00:22:11.160 --> 00:22:17.160
recipient's preference, leading to dissatisfaction. Now, just think the whole

417
00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:20.400
concept of gift giving over and over and over leads

418
00:22:20.519 --> 00:22:25.680
people dissatisfied. Well, mean, the whole process. If people end

419
00:22:25.720 --> 00:22:31.200
up dissatisfied, that's the then the whole concept just falls apart,

420
00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:35.960
all right, now this misalignment. Look, there's an actual name

421
00:22:36.039 --> 00:22:39.319
in psychology for this misalignment. It can result in a

422
00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:45.640
substantial economic insufficiency. This is known as, and I'm quoting

423
00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:51.920
from psychology today, dead weight loss of Christmas. Dead weight

424
00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:58.000
loss of Christmas, dead weight loss of Christmas. Okay, so

425
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:00.640
let me read this again. This is what happens when

426
00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:05.039
you have the giver who chooses the gift. They believe

427
00:23:05.079 --> 00:23:08.240
they're thoughtful, but it doesn't align with the recipient's preference,

428
00:23:08.519 --> 00:23:12.599
leading to dissatisfaction. This misalignment can be as known as

429
00:23:13.079 --> 00:23:16.920
the dead weight loss of Christmas. Where the value of

430
00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:21.480
the gift to recipients is less than the cost incurred

431
00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:26.400
by givers. So the giver there's a cost money, time, effort,

432
00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:30.200
thought they give to the recipient. The recipient perceives it

433
00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:35.279
as this isn't worth five cents, This isn't worth opinion,

434
00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:38.160
This is useless? Why did you give me this? They

435
00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:39.839
may never say that, but they're thinking, why did you

436
00:23:39.880 --> 00:23:40.720
give me this? Dumb thing?

437
00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:41.240
Is read?

438
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:43.519
This is a waste of time. And now I can

439
00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:47.240
tell a second story, which once again gives you why

440
00:23:47.279 --> 00:23:50.759
I have such a bias against gift giving. I work

441
00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:54.480
at the seventh Medical Group, Dias Air Force Base in

442
00:23:54.519 --> 00:23:57.480
the military, right, and the section that I work in,

443
00:23:57.839 --> 00:24:03.119
they decide, let's do secrets. Yay. I think the limit.

444
00:24:03.319 --> 00:24:05.480
I think it's like between fifty to one hundred dollars.

445
00:24:05.519 --> 00:24:07.240
I think it was closer to one hundred dollars that

446
00:24:07.319 --> 00:24:08.839
you could spend on the gifts. They went a much

447
00:24:08.880 --> 00:24:11.000
higher than you typically would do for a secret sena.

448
00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:14.200
They went much higher, okay, And I'm like, okay, great,

449
00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:16.880
all right, so I draw the name. I don't remember

450
00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:19.000
the name of the person or even what I purchased,

451
00:24:19.039 --> 00:24:21.240
but I remember that it was somewhere. What I ultimately

452
00:24:21.240 --> 00:24:22.640
gave them it was. I think I gave them to

453
00:24:22.799 --> 00:24:24.920
a couple of gifts, one big gift and then two

454
00:24:25.039 --> 00:24:26.920
or three small gifts to get it pretty close to

455
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:31.359
one hundred dollars. They perceived to be happy about it.

456
00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:34.119
They perceived to be happy about it. From everything that

457
00:24:34.200 --> 00:24:37.079
I could ask people and do whatever research I could

458
00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:39.720
into the person, it seemed to be align what I

459
00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:42.720
think their personality, the things that they talked about. So

460
00:24:42.799 --> 00:24:44.640
I thought, I think overall was a pretty good gift.

461
00:24:44.640 --> 00:24:46.640
At least I'm hoping it was. I don't know that

462
00:24:46.680 --> 00:24:49.000
would but that was see. I went forth the time,

463
00:24:49.200 --> 00:24:53.960
the effort and the money boom. Give them the gift. Great, everybody,

464
00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:56.519
it appears everything is good. Then it was time for

465
00:24:56.519 --> 00:24:58.799
me to receive my gift, and my gift was from

466
00:24:58.839 --> 00:25:01.319
someone else, now from the person I gave a gift too,

467
00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:03.240
but from someone else. It was weird the way they

468
00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:05.200
worked it. But that's just the way it happened. Someone

469
00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:08.119
else shows me that's the way it worked, all right,

470
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:12.319
So I get my gift. All right, Ladies and gentlemen.

471
00:25:12.359 --> 00:25:14.960
There's no way to describe what just happened other I

472
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:16.440
guess the only way we can describe it is the

473
00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:22.279
dead weight loss of Christmas. Because I get a kind

474
00:25:22.319 --> 00:25:27.200
of a bag of gifts. The first thing I get

475
00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:30.480
I take out of the bag is a little mini

476
00:25:31.400 --> 00:25:35.319
portable battery operated fan that you could set on your

477
00:25:35.359 --> 00:25:39.240
desk and blow on you. Okay, I never complained about

478
00:25:39.240 --> 00:25:43.759
being hot. It wasn't a mentopausal woman going through having

479
00:25:43.799 --> 00:25:47.039
heat flashes. I don't know why I needed a mini fan.

480
00:25:47.480 --> 00:25:49.559
I have no idea. It looked like something that you

481
00:25:49.599 --> 00:25:52.160
get from the dollar store for fifty cents. It was

482
00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:55.480
like made a plastic I think, yeah, I mean, I

483
00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:57.000
don't even know what it was. And it was like

484
00:25:57.079 --> 00:25:59.839
purple or pink in colors. It was like purple or pink.

485
00:26:00.119 --> 00:26:02.680
I'm like, what is this? Right? So there because this

486
00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:05.519
purple pink thing becomes the theme, right, So there's that.

487
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:11.319
The second thing was a poster purple and pink color, okay,

488
00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:19.720
of a unicorn. I am not joking. They drew my name.

489
00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:23.359
They knew they work with me. So so like everyone's

490
00:26:23.400 --> 00:26:25.200
kind of looking at it and you can kind of

491
00:26:25.240 --> 00:26:28.240
see like I don't know what to sound. I'm like, oh, awesome,

492
00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:30.640
And everybody's kind of looking at me like is he

493
00:26:30.759 --> 00:26:33.599
being punked? Is he being prank Like? This can't be

494
00:26:33.640 --> 00:26:37.920
a legitimate. He got a portable plastic little fan and

495
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:40.480
a poster with a unicorn on it that's like pink

496
00:26:40.519 --> 00:26:43.240
and purple coloring. What is this? I think there was

497
00:26:43.279 --> 00:26:47.279
like a pink pencil or like a unicorn. Ahead of Racer,

498
00:26:47.599 --> 00:26:49.480
there was like there was just all this like there

499
00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:51.559
was like just a number of this little like little

500
00:26:51.640 --> 00:26:54.200
things you would get like at the dollar store and

501
00:26:54.240 --> 00:26:56.240
the bargain bind Like I mean, it was like, what

502
00:26:56.519 --> 00:26:59.839
is this? And I'll never forget, like leaving going, I

503
00:27:00.119 --> 00:27:06.119
spent almost one hundred dollars. Now, you could say that

504
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:07.960
my attitude here is wrong, but see, this is what

505
00:27:08.039 --> 00:27:10.640
gift giving does, right, because now I'm thinking about how

506
00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:13.119
much money I spent and I'm walking out of here

507
00:27:13.519 --> 00:27:17.599
with junk. I came in, I threw it to my

508
00:27:17.640 --> 00:27:19.160
girls and said, hey, did you want any of this

509
00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:21.480
that They looked at this and like what is this junk? Dad?

510
00:27:21.759 --> 00:27:23.799
They didn't even want it. They didn't even want They

511
00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:25.720
were little girls, and they thought it was all done

512
00:27:25.839 --> 00:27:27.720
so like it was like it was the most weird

513
00:27:27.960 --> 00:27:30.799
you know what. That now, in the person's mind, I'm

514
00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:33.640
going to give them the benefit of the doubt they thought, oh,

515
00:27:33.720 --> 00:27:37.480
this is awesome, this is great. I'm hoping I'm hoping

516
00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:40.000
they thought that, or maybe they just didn't care. Either way,

517
00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:42.960
the whole thing was I spent almost one hundred dollars

518
00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:44.960
and I walked out and I'm not even joking. I

519
00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:47.039
bet you they got that for five dollars at the

520
00:27:47.119 --> 00:27:50.359
dollar store. And I'm like, wow, I'm so glad we

521
00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:51.920
did gift get I could have used that one hundred

522
00:27:51.960 --> 00:27:55.559
dollars that I spent for my own kids. I was

523
00:27:55.559 --> 00:27:58.519
in the military, enlisted, not making a lot of money,

524
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:03.759
but gift giving. Yeah, it's see how utterly foolish the

525
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:08.119
concept is. There's this mismatch expectations and preference. You have

526
00:28:08.119 --> 00:28:10.799
an expectation, there's a preference. It's a mismatch, and what

527
00:28:10.839 --> 00:28:13.480
do you end up with? Again, right down that phrase,

528
00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:18.559
the dead weight loss of Christmas gift giving is stupid.

529
00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:24.799
But there's a second issue. The second issue, and this

530
00:28:24.880 --> 00:28:29.319
comes from neurolaunch. The second issue is that there's a

531
00:28:29.559 --> 00:28:36.119
social pressure and obligation inherently connected to gift giving. Gift

532
00:28:36.119 --> 00:28:41.240
giving creates, in many cases a sense of obligation, and

533
00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:45.240
it compels recipients that they have to basically give a

534
00:28:45.279 --> 00:28:52.400
gift of equal or greater monetary value, and there's kind

535
00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:54.920
of an expectation that you must also demonstrate that you

536
00:28:54.960 --> 00:28:58.000
have put in equal or greater thought. That's what the

537
00:28:58.039 --> 00:29:00.799
whole TikTok video was. Hey, man, you don't just show

538
00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:03.000
up on Target on December the twenty third and buy

539
00:29:03.039 --> 00:29:05.400
some crap gift. No, no, no, no, You've had three

540
00:29:05.559 --> 00:29:08.559
hundred plus days in the year to do. So you

541
00:29:08.599 --> 00:29:10.799
need to do better. You need to get better gifts,

542
00:29:10.880 --> 00:29:12.640
give it more thought because and then at the end

543
00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:15.079
of the video, she goes on to stay for fourteen years,

544
00:29:15.279 --> 00:29:18.240
I've been making the Christmas magic happen. So you better

545
00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:21.200
do men, you better do equal or greater. So there

546
00:29:21.319 --> 00:29:25.160
is an expectation. Not only are you supposed to if

547
00:29:25.240 --> 00:29:26.920
you get a gift, you're supposed to give a gift,

548
00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:29.880
but you're supposed to give something of equal or greater value,

549
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:33.759
not only from monetary perspective, but also about how much

550
00:29:33.799 --> 00:29:37.240
time and thought you've given to it. Now, this can

551
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:40.720
lead to strained relationships, and it can also just be

552
00:29:41.079 --> 00:29:45.000
costly and lead to financial stress. I mean, it just can.

553
00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:54.440
This cycle really transforms a generous act into a burdensome expectation.

554
00:29:55.400 --> 00:29:59.200
It detracts from the genuine sentiment intended. In some cases,

555
00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:02.559
the pressure basically to give something of equal or greater value.

556
00:30:03.480 --> 00:30:06.680
It can lead to competitive gift giving, where individuals feel

557
00:30:06.680 --> 00:30:08.799
compelled to match or exceed the value of gifts they

558
00:30:08.839 --> 00:30:13.079
receive further exasperating stress and potential financial strain. And it

559
00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:16.119
just becomes pressure. It becomes this. And even in the video,

560
00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:20.480
she's like, I tell you, I will lose my ever

561
00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:23.039
living mind if my husband doesn't give me one of

562
00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:24.720
those things that are on my gift. Well, so the

563
00:30:24.759 --> 00:30:26.480
husband has to fill the pressure. I cat better make

564
00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:27.759
sure I do this. I'm better make sure I do

565
00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:32.240
this now. It may not always be that. See, that's

566
00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:34.559
the thing with gift giving. Everyone puts on a facade.

567
00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:37.279
Everyone puts on that Oh it's all wonderful, it's all great,

568
00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:41.359
But in any cases it's all such a fraud. Everyone's pretending.

569
00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:49.400
So gift giving can be inherently or gift giving leads

570
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:54.200
to problems like mismatch expectations, social pressures, and obligations. Also,

571
00:30:54.319 --> 00:30:59.559
there can be cultural and social disparities. Cultural norms, heavily

572
00:30:59.599 --> 00:31:03.279
influenced gift giving practices and misunderstandings can arise from individuals

573
00:31:03.319 --> 00:31:08.519
from different backgrounds having varying expectations. Additionally, economic disparities can

574
00:31:08.599 --> 00:31:12.200
lead to feelings of inadequacy or resentment, especially when individuals

575
00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:15.359
cannot afford to give gifts of similar value, potentially leading

576
00:31:15.400 --> 00:31:19.359
to social exclusion or embarrassment. That's from the Wall Street Journal.

577
00:31:21.240 --> 00:31:24.000
It's just there's all this pressure that gets involved in

578
00:31:24.039 --> 00:31:27.720
all of it. Now from the Daily Telegraph, they say

579
00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:34.400
another problem with gift giving. It perpetuates materialism. See the

580
00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:41.759
emphasis on physical gifts can reinforce materialistic values, overshadowing the

581
00:31:41.799 --> 00:31:46.839
importance of intangible expressions of appreciation and love. See that

582
00:31:46.920 --> 00:31:49.960
woman in the TikTok, She did not see any when

583
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:51.880
she saw those men running around trying to get a

584
00:31:51.920 --> 00:31:54.559
last minute gifts. She didn't see a love. She didn't

585
00:31:54.599 --> 00:31:58.559
see anything good in that. She just saw lazy, worthless

586
00:31:58.640 --> 00:32:02.559
men not doing, not caring enough. And they're giving these

587
00:32:02.599 --> 00:32:05.480
crap gifts because who wants a stupid candle? Who wants

588
00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:08.079
cheap jewelry? Who wants a stupid blanket?

589
00:32:08.319 --> 00:32:09.000
Do better?

590
00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:14.640
She can't see. Well, they put the kids in the

591
00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:18.079
car and they went to get you something. They may

592
00:32:18.119 --> 00:32:20.480
come back with something horrible, They may come back with

593
00:32:20.519 --> 00:32:23.000
the dumbest thing in the history of mankind. But they

594
00:32:23.039 --> 00:32:25.880
got in the car and went somewhere to get something

595
00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:29.960
for you. But no, no, no, no, no no no no

596
00:32:30.119 --> 00:32:33.279
no no no no. That's good. Now, maybe the men

597
00:32:33.319 --> 00:32:35.880
are demonstrating that they've been lazy. Maybe the men have

598
00:32:35.960 --> 00:32:38.559
been demonstrating they waited til the last moment. Maybe it

599
00:32:38.599 --> 00:32:40.920
wasn't their intention. I mean, do we always have to

600
00:32:40.920 --> 00:32:43.599
reduce everything to something being so simplistic? Sometimes things are

601
00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:52.759
a little bit more complex. This focus on the materialistic

602
00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:56.920
aspects of it leads to an accumulation of unnecessary items.

603
00:32:56.920 --> 00:32:58.720
How many times people get things and they don't do

604
00:32:58.759 --> 00:33:02.960
anything with them, contributing to environmental concerns and detracting from

605
00:33:03.039 --> 00:33:09.480
meaningful aspects of relationships. And that's from the Daily Telegraph. Oh,

606
00:33:09.559 --> 00:33:12.200
but it can lead to Gift giving also has another

607
00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:18.279
possible issue, psychological stress and anxiety. If I can read correctly,

608
00:33:18.519 --> 00:33:25.839
psychological stress and anxiety. The pursuit of the perfect gift

609
00:33:26.559 --> 00:33:32.839
can induce significant stress and anxiety, both forgivers striving to

610
00:33:32.880 --> 00:33:37.279
meet perceived expectations and for recipients who may feel pressured

611
00:33:37.279 --> 00:33:41.079
to display gratitude for an unwonted item. You see, the

612
00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:46.000
psychological that's all messed up. Now, I understand that because

613
00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:49.640
of what happened to me. I've just filled with I mean,

614
00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:51.400
I'll have all kinds of anxiety if I got to

615
00:33:51.400 --> 00:33:52.960
get a gift, because I'm like, oh, man, it's got

616
00:33:52.960 --> 00:33:55.079
to be perfect, it's gonna be stupid, it's gonna be dumb.

617
00:33:55.160 --> 00:33:59.799
And I just hear and that creates all kinds of

618
00:34:00.359 --> 00:34:02.480
anyone then who knows that about my past, then they

619
00:34:02.480 --> 00:34:04.839
feel like they have to go, oh, it's the greatest

620
00:34:04.839 --> 00:34:07.599
thing in the history of mankind. When they are like, well,

621
00:34:07.640 --> 00:34:09.960
this is really stupid. They can't be honest. Nobody can

622
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:12.599
be honest. It's all becomes a game, all becomes a facade,

623
00:34:12.639 --> 00:34:15.760
and it just creates psychological stress, anxiety, and a lot

624
00:34:15.760 --> 00:34:24.559
of pretending. This dynamic can diminish the joy associated with

625
00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:29.400
gifts exchange, turning them into sources of tension. That's from Vox.

626
00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:34.679
Now I got more here. We could go to economic inefficiency.

627
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:39.199
But here's the conclusion from all of these different articles.

628
00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:43.079
While gift giving is deeply embedded in social traditions and

629
00:34:43.119 --> 00:34:47.159
can strengthen bonds when executed thoughtfully, it is fraught with

630
00:34:47.320 --> 00:34:52.280
challenges that can undermine its intended purposes. Recognizing these issues

631
00:34:52.440 --> 00:34:57.320
encourages a shift towards more meaningful and considered expressions of appreciation,

632
00:34:57.440 --> 00:35:00.840
focusing on the needs and preferences of recipients, and emphasizing

633
00:35:00.880 --> 00:35:12.360
the values of shared experiences over material possessions. But there's

634
00:35:12.440 --> 00:35:16.559
another thing inherently wrong here that wasn't listed in any

635
00:35:16.599 --> 00:35:18.960
of those articles. Because I kept thinking about this. If

636
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.199
we go back to that TikTok video, I'm going to

637
00:35:21.239 --> 00:35:22.679
play part of it again. Here we go.

638
00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:28.639
Unpopular opinion. It is December twenty third.

639
00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:31.000
If my husband looks at me at any point today

640
00:35:31.039 --> 00:35:33.360
and says, the boys and I are going to run

641
00:35:33.400 --> 00:35:36.280
to town we have some airands to run, I will

642
00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:40.280
lose my everlasting mind because I just left Target, and

643
00:35:40.360 --> 00:35:42.719
Target is full of men and their children who are

644
00:35:42.760 --> 00:35:45.280
buying their wives last minute crap gifts.

645
00:35:44.880 --> 00:35:50.719
Candles, crappy jewelry, blankets. We don't want that.

646
00:35:51.599 --> 00:35:55.119
You have three hundred and sixty four five days of

647
00:35:55.159 --> 00:35:57.440
the year to shop for us, get us what we want.

648
00:35:57.440 --> 00:36:00.599
I sent Kirk my wish list weeks ago.

649
00:36:02.719 --> 00:36:05.320
All right, do you hear all of that? But the

650
00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:07.360
part that I want you to really grab onto there.

651
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:16.679
I sent him my list six weeks ago. Here it

652
00:36:16.760 --> 00:36:19.159
is Kirk. I think his name is Kirk. Here you go, Kirk,

653
00:36:19.559 --> 00:36:22.599
here's your wife's list. Go get what's on the list.

654
00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:25.639
I think if there's anything about gift giving that is

655
00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:29.760
absolutely makes it. Now, if it's for kids, that's okay,

656
00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:33.320
all right, kids, give me your gifts. You want this? Okay? Great?

657
00:36:33.559 --> 00:36:35.719
They just they're excited to get it. You know, they're

658
00:36:35.760 --> 00:36:39.639
going to get something they want. Hopefully it's okay. It's kids, right,

659
00:36:39.920 --> 00:36:42.320
So when you're giving gifts for kids, it's a completely

660
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:45.119
whole different dynamic. Everyone can understand that. But when you

661
00:36:45.159 --> 00:36:47.960
have adults, you give me your gift list, and I

662
00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:49.880
give you my gift list, and then you go get

663
00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:51.480
me the gift on my list, and I go give

664
00:36:51.519 --> 00:36:53.679
you the gift on Why don't you just go get

665
00:36:53.719 --> 00:36:56.280
the gift you want. I'll get the gift I want.

666
00:36:56.480 --> 00:36:58.360
We'll just call it a day and be done with it.

667
00:36:58.800 --> 00:37:01.599
What's the point, I'm gon Ooh you got I got

668
00:37:01.599 --> 00:37:03.239
a gift under the tree. Let me open it up.

669
00:37:03.320 --> 00:37:07.559
Oh shock, you got me what was on my list?

670
00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:10.880
Oh well, I mean the whole thing is so just

671
00:37:11.079 --> 00:37:15.519
it's just like a bad Hallmark movie. It's just ridiculous.

672
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:20.320
So when the when I think we I think it's right.

673
00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:22.760
I think it's fair to question the logic of gift

674
00:37:22.800 --> 00:37:27.480
giving when it involves exchanging predetermined list. It does seem

675
00:37:27.679 --> 00:37:32.159
counterintuitive and in many ways it undermines the traditional intent

676
00:37:32.239 --> 00:37:35.559
of gift giving. So here's some possible reasons why this

677
00:37:35.599 --> 00:37:39.440
approach I think is just absolutely absurd. Number one, there's

678
00:37:39.480 --> 00:37:42.440
a lack of surprise and personal effort. The act of

679
00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:45.920
giving a gift is tradition traditionally seen as demons as

680
00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:53.599
a demonstration of thoughtfulness, creativity, and emotional connection. When a

681
00:37:53.639 --> 00:37:57.119
person is handed a list of all these, all these

682
00:37:57.199 --> 00:38:00.599
elements are essentially removed. Look, if you give me a

683
00:38:00.639 --> 00:38:03.920
list of what you want, listen, there's no thoughtfulness, there's

684
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:07.800
no creativity, there's no emotional connection. I'm just gonna go

685
00:38:07.800 --> 00:38:09.920
buy what's on the It's like getting a shopping list.

686
00:38:10.559 --> 00:38:13.039
It's ridiculous. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in

687
00:38:13.079 --> 00:38:17.840
my life. Star It's the what's the point. At that point,

688
00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:19.760
the giver becomes a little more than a middleman and

689
00:38:19.800 --> 00:38:23.000
a transaction. The recipient could have completed themselves. The person

690
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:25.559
giving the list and it just went and got it themselves.

691
00:38:26.239 --> 00:38:29.800
Hold them here, here, hemy HEMI your list. Okay, oh wait,

692
00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:31.800
well okay, give me a second, take a step back.

693
00:38:31.960 --> 00:38:34.480
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm just gonna type

694
00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:37.639
something here on my iPad Amazon dot com. All right,

695
00:38:39.320 --> 00:38:42.239
all right, yeah, okay, oh yeah, you're getting Yeah, i'll

696
00:38:42.280 --> 00:38:44.360
be I'll be looking for these. I'll make sure I

697
00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:49.199
get you something great. It's here. Just hand them the iPad,

698
00:38:49.480 --> 00:38:55.599
order it yourself. It's stupid. It's a it's a lack

699
00:38:55.679 --> 00:38:59.440
of there's no surprise, there's no personal effort, and not

700
00:38:59.480 --> 00:39:03.320
only that, misses an opportunity for any emotional expression. Gift

701
00:39:03.360 --> 00:39:06.400
giving conservetives a way to express understanding, care or a

702
00:39:06.440 --> 00:39:11.559
shared experience. By outsourcing the decision to a list, the

703
00:39:11.639 --> 00:39:16.960
act becomes transactional, not relational. It's just a trans You

704
00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:19.360
give me the list, I go purchase it, and I

705
00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:23.559
give it to you. It's there's nothing, there's no there's

706
00:39:23.599 --> 00:39:26.960
no emotional, there's no relational. It's just a it's so

707
00:39:27.400 --> 00:39:36.599
such a waste of time. All right, Yeah, I got

708
00:39:36.599 --> 00:39:38.320
more here. I could I could look at but I'm

709
00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:40.800
just I'm just gonna I'm gonna get aah. I did

710
00:39:40.840 --> 00:39:45.920
ask ai what would be an alternative to this kind

711
00:39:45.960 --> 00:39:48.400
of concept. Well, if the goal is simply to get

712
00:39:48.400 --> 00:39:53.159
the things you want, self grit gifting seems like a

713
00:39:53.320 --> 00:39:58.000
far more efficient and satisfying solution, right, Hey, look, instead

714
00:39:58.039 --> 00:40:00.000
of doing this whole list thing, how about do that

715
00:40:00.440 --> 00:40:04.199
then you just get you do self gifting. Right, You'll

716
00:40:04.239 --> 00:40:06.880
get what you want, so AI said, you know exactly

717
00:40:06.960 --> 00:40:10.239
what you want, so go get it. You know the budget,

718
00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:13.000
and you know the time to purchase according to your knees.

719
00:40:13.119 --> 00:40:14.920
You know when you want it, you know how much

720
00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:18.159
money you have or don't have. Go get it. You

721
00:40:18.199 --> 00:40:21.320
can avoid the social awkwardness of disappointment that comes with

722
00:40:21.480 --> 00:40:24.079
unmet expectations. You don't have to worry about any you

723
00:40:24.079 --> 00:40:26.159
don't have to pretend you just you know what you're

724
00:40:26.159 --> 00:40:28.360
gonna get, and you go get it for yourself. You

725
00:40:28.360 --> 00:40:29.679
can get it when you want it. You can do

726
00:40:30.119 --> 00:40:35.159
whatever you want. In this sense, handing someone a list

727
00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:37.480
and expecting them to execute it almost seems like a

728
00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:40.199
needless layer of complexity and what could otherwise be a

729
00:40:40.239 --> 00:40:45.760
straightforward process of self care and indulgence. It makes no

730
00:40:46.599 --> 00:40:50.840
sense at all all Right, So what if we look

731
00:40:50.880 --> 00:40:54.840
at gift giving from a more biblical and philological perspective,

732
00:40:54.840 --> 00:40:57.760
And I'll go through some of this relatively fast because

733
00:40:57.760 --> 00:40:59.719
I think we can if we try to look at

734
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:03.079
this from a more biblical perspective, this is theology central.

735
00:41:03.199 --> 00:41:06.440
From a theology perspective, you can see that inherently the

736
00:41:06.440 --> 00:41:10.159
way the whole gift giving concept is structured, it's just foolishness.

737
00:41:10.239 --> 00:41:12.800
It's just it is, you give and I'm supposed to

738
00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:14.440
give to you. Well, why don't you just get get

739
00:41:14.440 --> 00:41:15.840
what you want and I get what I want and

740
00:41:15.880 --> 00:41:19.880
then we're both happy, Like like what why if we're

741
00:41:19.880 --> 00:41:21.519
going to give based on you giving me a list

742
00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:23.119
and I give you a list, that's just a waste.

743
00:41:23.159 --> 00:41:26.000
That's just all of it is just foolish. It's illogical,

744
00:41:26.199 --> 00:41:30.599
it's materialistic, it's dumb, there's no there's there's it's not relational,

745
00:41:30.800 --> 00:41:33.719
it's it's transactional. The whole thing is just problematic. But

746
00:41:33.760 --> 00:41:37.840
if we look at it from a biblical perspective, gift

747
00:41:37.920 --> 00:41:42.559
giving is supposed to be an expression of love and gratitude.

748
00:41:42.639 --> 00:41:43.880
I think we can all know we I think we

749
00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:48.639
can all state this verse. For God so loved the

750
00:41:48.639 --> 00:41:53.679
world that he gave his only begotten son, the love,

751
00:41:56.000 --> 00:41:59.559
then the giving. The giving is a demonstration or an

752
00:41:59.599 --> 00:42:03.480
expression of that love. For God so love that he gave,

753
00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:08.920
the giving is an expression of that love. The gift

754
00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:14.159
should express love, not an expectation of getting something back.

755
00:42:17.960 --> 00:42:21.840
James one. Every good gift and every perfect gift is

756
00:42:21.880 --> 00:42:25.239
from above, coming down from the Father of life. It's

757
00:42:25.320 --> 00:42:29.559
James one point seventeen. This seems to remind us that

758
00:42:29.679 --> 00:42:32.599
all we have is a gift from God prompting gratitude

759
00:42:32.639 --> 00:42:35.559
and generosity towards others. So all that we have comes

760
00:42:35.599 --> 00:42:38.119
from God, and we should find gratitude for that. Yes,

761
00:42:38.360 --> 00:42:40.119
but it comes from God because for God so loved

762
00:42:40.119 --> 00:42:45.559
the world, it's an expression of his love. So if

763
00:42:45.559 --> 00:42:47.880
we're going to give, it should be an expression of love.

764
00:42:48.159 --> 00:42:50.960
If But here's the thing with us as human beings,

765
00:42:51.480 --> 00:42:56.840
our gift giving typically captures really the essence of our

766
00:42:56.880 --> 00:43:00.719
sinful nature because we give with an expectation of That's

767
00:43:00.719 --> 00:43:02.320
one of the things about when you have kids and

768
00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:05.519
you get kids Christmas presents, you're not expecting anything in return.

769
00:43:05.719 --> 00:43:07.760
You just want them to enjoy themselves, have fun. You're

770
00:43:07.760 --> 00:43:10.159
showing them their love and gratitude. There's kind of a

771
00:43:10.199 --> 00:43:13.280
purity in that right, But in many other aspects it

772
00:43:13.360 --> 00:43:15.760
turns into I give, I get, I give I get,

773
00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:20.519
And sometimes that's what our human beings love. In many

774
00:43:20.599 --> 00:43:23.639
cases is I love because of what I'm getting from it.

775
00:43:24.119 --> 00:43:27.800
Rarely do we love. We love with an expectation of

776
00:43:27.880 --> 00:43:29.760
I'm gonna be treated this way, this is gonna happen,

777
00:43:29.800 --> 00:43:31.480
this is gonna happen, this is gonna happen, this is

778
00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:34.599
gonna happen. And if I don't get those things, then

779
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:38.920
well then you know what's love got to do with it? Right?

780
00:43:38.960 --> 00:43:41.440
I mean, all of a sudden you start becoming teena turner. Okay,

781
00:43:41.440 --> 00:43:43.800
well I'm not misrepresenting the meaning of that song, but

782
00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:47.920
you get the idea. But we have a tendency to

783
00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:50.159
love to get. We have a love for what we

784
00:43:50.199 --> 00:43:53.039
get from it. But gift giving is supposed to be

785
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:56.079
expression of love and gratitude without any for Gods to

786
00:43:56.159 --> 00:43:58.679
love the world, that He gave his only begun son

787
00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:04.440
should reflect the love and gratitude we have experienced from God.

788
00:44:04.760 --> 00:44:08.519
Now we could say we give as an expression because

789
00:44:08.519 --> 00:44:11.719
we give because we have been given. We've been given

790
00:44:11.760 --> 00:44:14.840
all these wonderful things from God. Salvation life, and so

791
00:44:14.920 --> 00:44:17.039
we give as an expression of our gratitude from God.

792
00:44:17.119 --> 00:44:20.119
Maybe you could look at it from that particular case.

793
00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:24.159
Some would argue that this stoological motivation is crucial. Gift

794
00:44:24.199 --> 00:44:27.000
giving should not be transactional, but an overflow of God's

795
00:44:27.000 --> 00:44:29.559
love and blessings in our life. We give because of

796
00:44:29.599 --> 00:44:31.719
what God has done for us. I am giving to

797
00:44:31.840 --> 00:44:34.719
others as an expression of my gratitude for God. I'm

798
00:44:34.760 --> 00:44:37.159
showing God because you have given me so much, I'm

799
00:44:37.199 --> 00:44:40.239
going to give to others freely. I have received so

800
00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:43.400
freely I give. Is a more correct and accurate way.

801
00:44:43.639 --> 00:44:46.480
I was trying to cite that concept and not cite

802
00:44:46.480 --> 00:44:49.599
it correctly. But that's a more correct way of saying. Freely,

803
00:44:49.679 --> 00:44:53.440
you have received, so freely you give. The motivation you

804
00:44:53.639 --> 00:44:56.159
give to others is because of what you have received

805
00:44:56.159 --> 00:44:58.920
from God. The more you are aware of what you

806
00:44:58.960 --> 00:45:01.880
have received from God, the more you may be motivated

807
00:45:02.039 --> 00:45:10.159
to give to others. But that's more of a thiological concept.

808
00:45:10.360 --> 00:45:13.880
A second idea of gift giving from a theological perspective

809
00:45:14.199 --> 00:45:19.480
is gifts as a means of worship. Matthew two eleven.

810
00:45:19.480 --> 00:45:22.239
The magi brought gifts of gold Fran sense of murder

811
00:45:22.400 --> 00:45:25.000
to honor the Christ child. Now can you give a

812
00:45:25.079 --> 00:45:28.119
gift to other people and an act of worship to God?

813
00:45:28.119 --> 00:45:31.360
You're demonstrating in a sense you're worshiping God. I worship

814
00:45:31.480 --> 00:45:34.519
you and all that you've done for me. By giving

815
00:45:34.599 --> 00:45:36.840
what I have been, what I have been blessed with

816
00:45:37.079 --> 00:45:41.800
to someone else, you have blessed me. So I give

817
00:45:42.719 --> 00:45:46.159
I have received freely, So I give to someone else

818
00:45:46.199 --> 00:45:52.079
as an act of worship. And please not when the

819
00:45:52.119 --> 00:45:55.199
magi brought the gifts, they weren't looking for anything in

820
00:45:55.239 --> 00:46:01.400
return Psalm ninety six eight. Bring an offering and come

821
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:04.760
into his courts. Gifts can symbolize worship and acknowledgment of

822
00:46:04.800 --> 00:46:07.920
God's worthiness. Now you can give gifts that would be

823
00:46:07.960 --> 00:46:11.400
something directed towards the kingdom of God. Right, But you

824
00:46:11.440 --> 00:46:14.360
can just give as an act of worship. And what

825
00:46:14.360 --> 00:46:17.400
you're demonstrating is, I'm giving to you because of what

826
00:46:17.480 --> 00:46:23.880
I have received from God. So, in a philological sense,

827
00:46:23.960 --> 00:46:27.280
worship is a giving as an act of worship when

828
00:46:27.320 --> 00:46:30.519
done with an intent of glorifying God. This can extend

829
00:46:30.559 --> 00:46:33.199
to how we give others. We give to others as

830
00:46:33.199 --> 00:46:36.719
a reflection of our worship. We give as a reflection

831
00:46:36.800 --> 00:46:39.800
of worship worship. We give because of our gratitude and

832
00:46:39.840 --> 00:46:42.840
love of what we have been given. Now that's a

833
00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:48.440
concept we don't usually, probably ever, associate with giving. A

834
00:46:48.519 --> 00:46:51.760
third concept of giving from a Biblical perspective is generosity

835
00:46:51.760 --> 00:46:54.920
in helping others Tewod Corinthians nine to seven, quoting from

836
00:46:54.920 --> 00:46:56.599
the translation I have here in front of me. Each

837
00:46:56.639 --> 00:46:59.440
one must give as he has decided in his heart,

838
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:04.480
reluctantly or under a compulsion, For God loves a cheerful giver,

839
00:47:05.079 --> 00:47:07.119
Acts twenty thirty five. It is more blessed to give

840
00:47:07.159 --> 00:47:10.320
than to receive, Proverbs in nineteen seventeen. Whoever is generous

841
00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:12.239
to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will

842
00:47:12.280 --> 00:47:15.599
repay him for his deeds. Gift giving is often tied

843
00:47:15.639 --> 00:47:18.679
to acts of generosity, especially towards those in need. The

844
00:47:18.719 --> 00:47:21.719
focus is not on material exchange, but on meeting needs

845
00:47:21.719 --> 00:47:24.800
and demonstrating God's love and care. That's the biblical concept.

846
00:47:24.920 --> 00:47:29.719
You give, not to get, to show generosity, to show support,

847
00:47:29.960 --> 00:47:33.840
to show appreciation. You're not doing it to get. You're

848
00:47:33.840 --> 00:47:36.960
doing because you've already received, and you're now showing your love,

849
00:47:37.039 --> 00:47:40.199
your appreciation, or you're helping someone just to show generosity,

850
00:47:40.280 --> 00:47:42.519
and you may be showing generosity, and just think about

851
00:47:42.519 --> 00:47:46.199
this from a biblical perspective. When you give to someone

852
00:47:46.440 --> 00:47:50.199
who can't return the gift, can't return to you anything

853
00:47:50.239 --> 00:47:52.280
equal or even close, but they may not ever be

854
00:47:52.280 --> 00:47:55.679
able to give you anything back. That really captures the

855
00:47:55.880 --> 00:47:59.239
essence of Christianity. Because God gave his son, and what

856
00:47:59.280 --> 00:48:01.519
are you ever going to re turn to him? You're

857
00:48:01.559 --> 00:48:03.559
never gonna You're never gonna give anything of equal or

858
00:48:03.639 --> 00:48:06.840
greater value, are you. He gave up his precious son

859
00:48:07.159 --> 00:48:11.159
to suffer and die for you. Now, because you've received

860
00:48:11.320 --> 00:48:13.800
that salvation that comes from Jesus, you should then be

861
00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:16.199
willing to give to others. And you give not because

862
00:48:16.239 --> 00:48:18.440
you get anything back, because you're doing it as an

863
00:48:18.440 --> 00:48:20.960
act of worship and showing your gratitude for what God

864
00:48:20.960 --> 00:48:24.039
has given you, and you're showing that you're caring and

865
00:48:24.079 --> 00:48:30.360
compassionate and giving to someone else. Also, when you give,

866
00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:33.559
from a biblical perspective, what you're trying to do is

867
00:48:33.599 --> 00:48:36.599
you're trying to demonstrate something other than a materialistic or

868
00:48:36.639 --> 00:48:41.440
selfish perspective. Right if you have something and you go

869
00:48:41.519 --> 00:48:46.320
give it to someone else. You're you're demonstrating that you're

870
00:48:46.519 --> 00:48:52.199
that you're this material money is not as important to

871
00:48:52.199 --> 00:48:54.280
you because you're giving it to someone else. You're you're

872
00:48:54.320 --> 00:48:56.800
showing that you're not being materialistic. You're showing that you're

873
00:48:56.840 --> 00:49:04.960
not being selfish, you're selfish, you're being self less. Do

874
00:49:05.039 --> 00:49:07.559
not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, but lay

875
00:49:07.599 --> 00:49:10.039
up for yourself treasures in heaven. Matthew six. For the

876
00:49:10.079 --> 00:49:11.960
love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.

877
00:49:12.079 --> 00:49:16.679
When you give, you take what's yours, and you give

878
00:49:16.719 --> 00:49:20.679
to someone else. That's the opposite of materialism or selfishness.

879
00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:31.880
See the spirit of giving should be It arises out

880
00:49:31.880 --> 00:49:34.280
of a spirit of love. It arises out of a

881
00:49:34.320 --> 00:49:38.440
spirit of generosity. It arises out of a spirit of worship,

882
00:49:38.840 --> 00:49:43.639
not obligation, guilt, or some kind of societal pressure. That's

883
00:49:43.679 --> 00:49:47.199
why if someone gives gifts to a ministry, you want

884
00:49:47.239 --> 00:49:49.639
them to do so because they want to because of

885
00:49:50.639 --> 00:49:54.320
their appreciation or whatever, not out of obligation or guilt,

886
00:49:54.480 --> 00:50:03.280
or or you manipulated them to do so. Some of

887
00:50:03.280 --> 00:50:07.199
a biblical perspective, the act of giving must be rooted

888
00:50:07.280 --> 00:50:13.199
in the right motivation, love, worship, gratitude, a desire to

889
00:50:13.239 --> 00:50:22.119
glorify God, a desire to help someone else, compassion. It's

890
00:50:22.280 --> 00:50:29.000
motivation matters from a philological perspective. From a thiological perspective,

891
00:50:29.400 --> 00:50:33.559
gift giving is more relational. It's not transactional. Gift giving

892
00:50:33.599 --> 00:50:37.719
is not about material exchange, but fostering relationship and reflecting

893
00:50:37.760 --> 00:50:45.880
God's grace. When you give, you're reflecting God's grace. You

894
00:50:45.920 --> 00:50:48.440
should be giving not out of a sense of obligation,

895
00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:51.280
but you are called to give freely, cheerfully, thoughtfully, without

896
00:50:51.360 --> 00:50:57.000
succumbing to societal pressure or materialistic values. And whether through

897
00:50:57.000 --> 00:50:59.719
an act of charity or symbolic gestures, giving should honor

898
00:50:59.719 --> 00:51:04.360
God and point others to him. That's the philological concepts

899
00:51:04.360 --> 00:51:05.679
behind it. Now, I could have broken it down a

900
00:51:05.679 --> 00:51:08.599
little bit better, but I've kind of handed that to

901
00:51:08.639 --> 00:51:12.880
you and you can do as you would like with that.

902
00:51:13.280 --> 00:51:15.280
For God's to love the world that he gave his

903
00:51:15.360 --> 00:51:19.559
only begotten son. That is giving in a truly and

904
00:51:19.960 --> 00:51:22.320
grace is us receiving what we do not deserve and

905
00:51:22.360 --> 00:51:26.119
what we cannot earn. Everything about grace, salvation, all of

906
00:51:26.159 --> 00:51:28.719
it is about I can't do anything. I can't earn this.

907
00:51:29.000 --> 00:51:32.719
I can't deserve this, I can't repay it. Nothing. Well,

908
00:51:32.960 --> 00:51:37.199
we should be so overwhelmed with God's gift, God's generosity,

909
00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:41.920
God's love, God's Son, that when we give, we do

910
00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:46.199
so in an act of worshiping, of worshiping God and

911
00:51:46.239 --> 00:51:49.760
reflecting our gratitude for what God has done for us,

912
00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:52.960
but now giving to others, demonstrating to others. Not a

913
00:51:53.000 --> 00:51:56.199
materialistic mindset that sounds all great and easy. It's wonderful

914
00:51:56.239 --> 00:51:58.960
to point out all the theological truth. How to do it practically?

915
00:51:59.119 --> 00:52:01.280
I have no clue, don't know if it will ever work,

916
00:52:01.480 --> 00:52:07.400
but there you go. It all started with this. It's

917
00:52:07.480 --> 00:52:09.880
all started with this. Let me play it one more time.

918
00:52:10.519 --> 00:52:12.800
It all started with this TikTok video that's now gone

919
00:52:12.840 --> 00:52:14.239
viral over a million views.

920
00:52:14.480 --> 00:52:21.400
Here we go, unpopular opinion. It is December twenty third.

921
00:52:21.480 --> 00:52:23.760
If my husband looks at me at any point today

922
00:52:23.800 --> 00:52:26.119
and says, the boys and I are going to run

923
00:52:26.159 --> 00:52:29.039
to town. We have some errands to run, I will

924
00:52:29.159 --> 00:52:33.000
lose my everlasting mind because I just left Target, and

925
00:52:33.119 --> 00:52:35.480
Target is full of men and their children who are

926
00:52:35.480 --> 00:52:41.880
buying their wives last minute crap gifts, candles, crappy jewelry blankets.

927
00:52:42.679 --> 00:52:43.559
We don't want that.

928
00:52:44.360 --> 00:52:47.880
You have three hundred and sixty four five days of

929
00:52:47.880 --> 00:52:50.199
the year to shop for us, get us what we want.

930
00:52:50.199 --> 00:52:53.760
I sent Kirk my wish list six weeks ago, so

931
00:52:53.880 --> 00:52:55.960
help me God. If I don't get something off that

932
00:52:56.000 --> 00:52:58.559
wish list and all I get is crappy candles and

933
00:52:58.599 --> 00:53:01.000
blankets from Target, I will lose my everlasting mind.

934
00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:09.119
Maybe the whole concept of gift giving the way it

935
00:53:09.159 --> 00:53:14.840
plays out is stupid. I'm not saying we can't turn

936
00:53:14.880 --> 00:53:20.559
it into something good, but man, we need maybe we

937
00:53:20.639 --> 00:53:23.960
need to really rethink it. Thanks for listening, God bless