Aug. 1, 2024
Right In Your Eyes
A discussion about Proverbs 12:15
A discussion about Proverbs 12:15
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Looking at our world from a theological perspective.
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This is the Theology Central podcast, making Theology Central.
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Good afternoon, everyone. It is Thursday, August the first, twenty
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twenty four. It is currently three forty three pm Central Time,
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and I am coming to you live from the Theology
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Central studio located right here in Abilene, Texas. Do you
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ever find yourself maybe spiritually and just kind of a
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I don't know what you would call it, kind of
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like you're you're in some kind of a fog, You're
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kind of in I don't know, like you're maybe you
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feel like you're in a rut. Maybe you just I
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don't know, you're just there's just something that doesn't feel
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exactly right. I don't really know how to describe it.
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I won't say depressed. I won't maybe discouraged, depressed, disillusioned, frustrated, cynical, irritated, bothered.
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I feel like I feel like that ever since now,
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if you've been, if you listen to everything we do,
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we all know that this really this was supposed to
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be in some ways kind of the Summer of Proverbs.
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We were going to kind of focus on proverbs throughout,
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you know, the Summer of twenty twenty four, and that
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took a radical turn and it really turned into the
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summer of Psalm eighty three, right, it really, it really did.
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I mean Psal eighty three became really I mean we've
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been focusing on that most of the summer, and not
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only did the the well, we're doing the Sermon's two
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point zero app sermon Challenge, So obviously we've been doing
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a lot of that, but I'm just saying that there
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was kind of a focus in my mind. We're going
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to do a lot of proverbs. I had kind of
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some things mapped out, but because we were doing the
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Sermon's two point oh app sermon Challenge. Remember I heard
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that message on SSAW eighty three, the coming Middle East War,
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and then the next thing, you know, that turned in
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that Well, the series is still I'm still working on
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Psaw eighty three. And the more I listened to that series,
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the more I listened to it, I'm just gonna be
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honest with you, the more frustrated I became, the more
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discouraged I got, the more irritated. And I'm not trying
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to say that to be mean or derogatory towards the
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ministry that started the series. I mean, in some ways,
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I'm grateful they've They've given me an entire summer of,
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you know, something to focus on. But the only problem
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is one the more I listened to them, I mean,
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I was starting to lose my mind by the time
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that thing ended. I'm so glad they moved on to
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some I think they moved on to some one nineteen.
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I'm so glad because it was just maddening. And I guess,
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I guess what happened. Look, I'm just I'm gonna be
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full transparency. I think what happened is, how can I
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say this is gonna be This is gonna be very fleshly,
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all right, This is not gonna be godly in any way,
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shape or form. This is going to be very worldly,
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all right, This is going to be very fleshly. But
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I think maybe, well, I know all Christians, I think
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all Christians in your spiritual life, you have your ups
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and downs, right, you find times where you just find
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yourself discouraged, depress, maybe kind of in a fog like
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I don't know how to describe it, but I think
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you could probably understand what I'm trying to say. But
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here's I think here's what happened to me at least,
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I'm just kind of processing this in real time. This
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is like my counseling session, right, So we'll get to
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where we're going. But I think this is important subject
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to have, a topic to have, right, So here's what
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happened to me. And I know this is gonna sound
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so ungodly. Absolutely, this is gonna sound so ungodly. That's
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gonna sound like a pity party and whoa whoae is me?
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And there's gonna be a little bit of that. So
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but I'm not I'm not telling you this to excuse it.
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I'm telling you this to be transparent. What do I
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always say that this podcast is a podcast simply of
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a center with a microphone. That's it. And I'm trying
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to figure out the Christian life just like you are, right,
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So I don't come across it. Hopefully hopefully that comes across.
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I try to be that way. But the Psalm eighty
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three series, especially the original sermon series that you know
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we were reviewing, I became so irritated the more I
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listened to it. And the reason I became so frustrated
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is on, wait a minute, okay, so let me get
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this right. Here's a ministry that is you know, they
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have a radio station, they have a large church, they
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have a lot of people listening, they have decent, very
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good numbers of the number of downloads and streams. From
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a human perspective, they would be seen as successful. And
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I listened to that series, and this is one of
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those times where I'm like, why what is it about?
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This is insane. They're talking about things that have nothing
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to do with Psaumity three. This is not an exegetical look.
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They're saying things that are just completely wrong, fraudulent, things
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that are just not true. I mean just I mean
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everything that could be wrong in the series was wrong
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in the series. Yet they are successful. That's what people want.
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And then I turn around and look at my situation.
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And I told you the end of twenty twenty three,
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the twenty twenty four was going to be a difficult
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year for me. I told everyone that. And so I
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look at my situation. Well, the church is basically, for
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all practical purposes over or waiting for the building to sell.
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Once that's done, that's done. Well, then I have to
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figure out what do I do with the podcast once
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the building is gone. This is no longer connected to
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a church? Then how do I do this? How do
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I work this? It's not like I'm going to be
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making any money from the podcast. So if I'm not
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going to make any money from the podcast, then do
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I try to continue to raise money to pay for this? Okay?
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How do I work all of this? Okay? Yeah? And
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then do I even want to do this? Because at
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that point you kind of feel like a failure, right
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or the church ended your podcasts. I mean, you do
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pretty good numbers, but I mean you know you're not
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what are you really accomplishing? But then then you go
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listen to these other messages and you're like, that's what
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people want, and you're like, well, I can't be that.
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They're saying things that are like no, I don't want
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to be that, and you're like, well, if that's what
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people want, then I have no place. I have no
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place at the table like you, just like you you can.
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Maybe we should not compare in contrast, but you do.
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When you're listening to other ministries, you're like, look at
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the numbers. Look at how many numbers they have, Look
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at how many people listen to them, Look at all
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the comments they get, look at the money they bring in.
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Look at this, look at that. You know, I get
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emails from ministries all the time asking for you know,
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hundreds of thousands of dollars, and they they raise the money.
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And then you go listen, going, what are they providing?
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If that's what people want? I could never bring myself
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to do that. So then do I even have any
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is there even any even a place for me? Like,
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what's the point? Just just give up? So then you
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just kind of get discouraged. So and so then, uh
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so I think the Saw eighty three series really started
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messing with me. Then as we got further into Saw
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Maity three, well then I had to start, you know,
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considering and questioning how most Christians and most churches teach
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about prayer. And I had to really confront that so
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much of what people teach about prayer has nothing to
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do with theology, is being driven by emotion, It's almost
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being driven by a religious superstition. It's not really philologically.
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And so then I'm I'm questioning how most churches teach
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about prayer. Well, then, well then I don't even belong
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in that conversation, right, I don't even belong. And then
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yesterday we're talking about absolute surrender, and I'm like, well,
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I don't even and I'm questioned, challenged that understanding, and
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put forth an idea that ninety nine percent of Christianity rejected.
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I'm like, well, I don't even fit in there. And
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then don't even get me started in all the political
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stuff that's been going on in churches, I don't fit
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in there. And I'm like, well, I don't fit in anywhere. Now,
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on one hand, I'm glad I don't fit in anywhere.
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I don't. I like the fact that I'm like, I'm
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offering something different, but if there's no real audience for it,
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no one really cares. And all these other ministries that
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are doing things, in some cases putting out messages filled
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with factual error, historical error, just absolute lies about the
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meaning of a Greek word or Hebrew or trying to
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say the word means this, or that the word is
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synonymous with this word. Remember the subject the messages we
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did on repentance, where they're saying these words are synonymous. No,
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they're completely different Hebrew words with completely different meanings. That's
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utterly factually wrong. And so you didn't you just like,
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why I don't want to be have to spend my
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life being like I have no It's like almost like
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I'm the outsider, and it's like, what's the point. That's
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what everyone wants. I can't give everyone what they want?
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But is there room for someone offering a contrary voice?
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I hope so? And so then you just kind of
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get well, obviously, and I will admit this from a
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human perspective, my way is a failure. My way is
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the wrong way. Like I can write a book on
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how to not be successful in ministry from a human perspective.
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So then yesterday we talked a little bit about this, right,
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what does it actually mean to be used by God?
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Because Jeremiah Isaiah? But see then is that not self serving?
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Well?
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See, I'm like Jeremiah, I'm like Isaiah. So I'm really
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doing it the godly way. I'm doing it the godly
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way because nobody likes me, everyone disagrees with me, everyone
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ignores me. I'm in the right. And I'm like, well,
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that's self serving, and that can venient that I happen
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to choose the biblical people who fit my situation and
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then find that I'm right. I mean, isn't that what
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we have a tendency to do don't don't When it
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comes to Christianity, don't we all think that we are right?
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Isn't that really the essence of Christianity? We all think
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we are right, and we can point out how other
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people are wrong. Now, in some cases it's really a
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matter of facts, and so when someone get facts wrong,
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that's not a matter about me thinking I'm right in
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my own eyes. Now we're dealing with facts. But outside
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of that, so much of Christianity is everyone believes that
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they are right. Everyone believes they are right. Everyone does.
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Lutherans think that they're right, Presbyterians think that they're right.
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Church of Christ think that they're right, Charismatics think that
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they're right. One is, Pentecostals think that they're right, Baptists
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think that they're right, Reform Baptists think that they're right,
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Millennialists think they're right. Pre millennialists think that they're right.
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Postmillennialists think that they're right. We can go on and
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on and on. Everyone thinks they are right, and they
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would They will never say, well, it's not that I
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think that I'm right in my own eyes, but I'm
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right according to the Bible. But then I'm like, but
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that other person is holding up the same Bible you're
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holding up, and they think that the Bible says something
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opposite of what you're saying. So is it that the
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Bible proves that you're right? Or is it that you
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think you're right in your own eyes and you simply
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go to the Bible to prove that you're right and
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the Bible simply becomes proof text for what you already believe. Well,
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then is it really the Bible the authority? Is that
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you the authority, But we all think we're right in
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our own eyes. There's no way to get around that.
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Everyone thinks that they're right everyone, which then only becomes
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more discouraging and more depressing. Remember, one of the things
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I constantly struggle with in the world of Christianity is
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how can everyone think they're right and we can't agree
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on anything. Doesn't that just bring you to the point
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of just saying you want to throw up your hands
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and say forget it, be gone, just be gone. I'm
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done with it all. I don't care about doctrine, I
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don't care about theology, I don't care about any of it.
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Because it's a never ending battle of everyone thinking they're right.
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No one ever admits that they're wrong. Everyone thinks they're experts,
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everyone thinks that they're theologians. Doesn't matter if you go
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to school, don't go to school, it doesn't matter. It's
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just a waste of time. It's vanity of vanities, meaningless, meaningless, meaningless.
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Maybe that's where I reach at some point. And sometimes
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the more I know you sit here behind the microphone,
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the more you can reach that point of just total
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frustration and despair. And I guess that's kind of where
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I've been a little bit now. Circumstances here not all
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has interfered greatly with being able to do live broadcast,
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But then there's also been a part of me that's
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like what do I do? What do I do? So
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I'm kinda that's where I kind of am. I'm kind
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of in this fog trying to figure it out because
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sometimes I look around, I'm like, I don't think I
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fit in in Christianity anymore. I just don't think. I
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don't know where Christianity is going. I'm not a part
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of it. It's it's it's this weird world of I
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don't know what it is anymore. It's like it feels
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odd being outside of the very thing you've dedicated your
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