Help I Look at Porn!

0:02 Looking at our world from a theological perspective. This is the Theology Central podcast making Theology Central. Good morning everyone. It is Tuesday, November the nineteenth, twenty twenty four. It is currently ten oh nine am Central Time, and I am coming to you live from the Theology Central studio located right here in Abilene, Texas. Just about an hour ago, I received an email with this as the subject line, pastor seeks help with the pornography issue. Pastor seeks help with the pornography issue. I want you to hear that one more time. A pastor is seeking help with the pornography issue. That is the email I received. Well, yeah, literally just one hour ago. I maan, at this very moment, it's been one hour since I received the email. Again, the subject line pastor seeks help with a pornography issue. Now, don't think, oh wait, someone is coming to you for help and you're going to put them on full blast on the internet. No, no, no, no, let me explain what's going on. The email I received is not from an individual pastor directly to me. The email comes from a ministry that I'm on their mailing list. So this

1:33 ministry sent to everyone on their mailing list an email that they received from a pastor who is seeking help with a pornography issue. All right, and because the ministry is asking all pastors to see if they have any advice for this pastor seeking help with a pornography issue. But I want you to realize that you have a ministry. They seem to like, well, I don't know if we have a good answer. How about the rest of you pastors? Do you have an answer? And then you have a pastor struggling with a pornography issue. I think that says a lot. I think it probably says more than people want to admit. All right, and right now I have an airplane I thinks, getting ready to hit the house.

2:15 Do you hear that? That's that's that's loud. Okay, I apologize. But an hour ago, an hour ago, I get this email again from a ministry sending this out to everyone on their mailing list, saying, hey, here's this pastor. He is seeking help with a pornography issue. Hey, hey guys, can anyone help this guy? Can anyone? Here's the actual email? Let me read it to you, because I think this just opens the door for a very important conversation. Are you ready. Here is the email, and this is it says, pastor seeks help with a pornography issue. Again. It was sent out literally an hour and two minutes ago, and here is how it reads. I received the following email recently and would like to see if any pastors out there can offer suggestions for this man. So this pastor emails this ministry. This ministry seems to be like, well, let's see if anybody else can help. Here's the email.

3:12 You ready. I have not written to you much over the years, but you have greatly helped me come out of New Evangelicalism years ago, among many other helpful things. Among many other helpful things, I am now a pastor of an independent Baptist church. I was hoping you could provide some helpful thoughts now, please No, here's a man who les left New Evangelicalism. He's now part of an independent Baptist church. Typically, independent Baptist churches are very very very very very very conservative. Right. Some may claim legalistic, but that's a whole philological discussion. But very conservative, right. You don't listen to rock and roll, you don't watch, you know, basically any movies. You only listen to hymn's and you go to church and you know, you don't dress this way, you don't do this, and you don't do this, and you don't do this. It's all about being godly, it's all about being holy. Right, it's all about living right. I mean, that's very much emphasized within the independent Baptist world. And I would know that because I've been a part of that world for a good portion basically most of my Christian life, so I'm very familiar with it. Many of the schools I graduated from independent Baptist schools, so I'm very familiar with that world and how it approaches things. So typically it's going if you walk into an independent Baptist church, and at least from an outward perspective, externally, it's going to have all of the feeling of these people are godly and holy.

4:42 Look at the way they dress, look at the way they talk, and they don't do this, and they don't do that, and they don't drink and they don't watch, you know, bad movies, and they don't listen to secular music, and on and on and on and on. All right, So he's a pastor of an independent Baptist church, now remember or he's seeking help with a pornography issue. Hmmm, let's see. Let's read the next paragraph. I have been approached by a man in our church looking for help overcoming porn. He has suggested a series called the Conquer Series. We have other men in our church who are struggling with this issue as well. However, although many claim that it has helped them, I'm reviewing the Conquer Series and let's just say, I'm not very impressed. Now, please don't.

5:33 Here's a pastor and you've got these men coming to him who go to the church. They're members in the church, so they claim to be Christians, and they're coming to the pastor saying we are struggling with porn. Next paragraph, I see a need to do something here for the men of the church. On one hand, I believe that I'm doing something by preaching and teaching God's word, but I would like to do more to help. Do any of you know of any good biblical studies or materials that address this issue. Is there anything we you have done in your church in the past to pre or present to address this issue? Do you have any suggestions that might help As a pastor? This is definitely something I need to address and help the men of the church, whether it be for prevention or for discontinuation. I would greatly appreciate any thoughts or suggestions concerning any of the above.

6:29 Thank you. So he realizes he's got men in the church who are struggling with porn Now he's been preaching the word of God. These men have made a profession of faith, yet they're still struggling with pornography. And if you'll just take any amount of time to talk to any pastor, if those pastors will be honest time and time again, they will tell you, yes, I have encountered men, lots of men, man after man, and men as a group individual you know, as individuals this man, this man, this man, or just a large number of men, however you would like to state that. And now, typically they may not hear as much from women, but it's typically from men who say, yes, I'm struggling with this issue. Yes, I'm struggling with this issue. Yes I'm struggling with this issue.

7:22 And the pastors constantly are talking to men who are struggling with the issue, either an individual man or men in large numbers more than one. Constantly you hear this constantly. You hear this from my own time and ministry, just as broadcasting on the internet. I know this to be an absolute fact. There's a one time now. We have offered throughout the years, if you go through my entire what thirty years of broadcasting, I've offered giveaways for books, for commentaries, we made available for free for a long time, digital curricue. We've done all kinds of things. We've we've offered, you know, to try to get by people, Bible dictionaries, Bible handbooks. I mean, there was a time we were constantly doing this kind of thing, shipping stuff here, shipping stuff here, giving people away. And the response to a lot of those offers, I mean they were they were okay, but there were never anything great. And then one time I offered I think it was a pdf file a book written to help men with pornography. That was the most requested resource we have ever offered. Not a Bible dictionary, no no, no, no, no no no, not a Bible handbook, no no, no. A pdf file that gave supposedly, here's some ways to help men overcome their addiction to porn and that was the most requested resource. What does that

8:55 tell you, ladies and gentlemen, what does that tell you? Now, one, it tells you they thought comfortable contacting you know, some guy on the podcast there. In a sense, they're anonymous. I don't know who they are. I don't know what church they go to, so they could seek help in an anonymous way. So they're not you know, nobody knows. They don't have to deal with any public shame or any Okay, I can understand that, but you know what, it demonstrates that they're Christian men. They're Christian men all over the place who struggle with this issue. The number of Christian men who struggle with it and Christian women who struggle with porn use and viewing porn, the numbers are probably much greater than anyone wants to admit because, on one hand, most many Christian men are never going to admit it. They're not going to admit it according to some to the studies that I can find, and there was just some recent articles about this, I think when within the last month there have been even new studies and the numbers just continue to be staggering. But here's some of the research that I was able to find.

10:01 Research indicates that a significant number of Christians engage with pornography. Please hear that again, that a significant number of Christians engage with pornography, reflecting a complex relationship between faith and sexual behavior. When it comes to just general use of porn, sixty four percent of Christian men, sixty four percent of Christian men, and fifteen percent of Christian women admit to viewing pornography at least once a month. At least once a month. Sixty four percent. That's the ones who admit it, that's the ones who. Depending on how the study is done, how the survey is done, you'll at least get sixty four percent to say, well, at least once a month, and then you have fifteen percent of Christian women. I believe the new studies show that the amount of porn news amongst women is actually increasing. So you've got men, you've got women go to church, church members professing faith in Christ, yet they're looking at porn and larger and larger numbers. Sixty four percent, I'm telling you, I bet you the number is probably well over seventy percent. I may say it's probably even over eighty percent. If people are going to be brutally honest. But nobody wants to

11:32 be brutally honest about this. And there's a lot of reasons why. Now there's an age difference here, all right, and this should not be surprising, and I will explain younger Christians tend to have higher rates of pornography consumption. The same study found that seventy six percent of Christian young adults eighteen to twenty four actively seek out porn compared to fifty seven percent of adults. So if you get to the younger group, seventy six percent are actively seeking it out. These are Christian young adults. Now you can understand possibly the reason. Many of them are single, right, so they have no place to satisfy unless they're gonna Maybe they can do so when they're dating relationship, but maybe they're not dating maybe whatever the case is. Maybe maybe they're dating another Christian and they both feel guilty.

12:27 So nobody's trying to do anything. Well, nobody may be trying to do anything physically, but seventy six percent are actively seeking out porn So they may not be doing anything physically with another person, but they are seeking out pornography. And guess what, they're not married so they have no way. And this is what I always find interesting. Sometimes it's the married Christians right who sound It's usually young adults are now married, and then they're like, oh, I'm so godly, and what's wrong with all of the sin because now they can satisfy at least in this area because now they're young and married and they have an ability to satisfy it. But if something goes wrong in that relationship and it can't be satisfied, oh guess what, they tend to return back to the porn news, don't they Yes, they do. Seventy six percent. That's that's that's crazy, all right.

13:25 Now this is also interesting. So you have large numbers of men. You have man after man after man who will admit pornography usage, looking at it, actively seeking it out. You have Christian women. So inside the church, I hate to say this, ladies and gentlemen, nobody wants to admit this. You go to church with a whole lot of people who are looking at pornography. You go to church with a lot of people who may be actively seeking it out. Now they may talk godly and they may condemn the sin and this sin, and they may condemn the worldliness and how ungodly this is and this group and this group. But in private, when nobody is around, pornography is much as being used, much more than anyone wants to admit.

14:17 Now here's what's interesting. When you take you say, well, so shouldn't there be a difference between Christians and the world. Okay, well we'll get into that, but there is one difference when it comes to Christians. This is crazy. Analysis revealed that there is a clear correlation between religiosity and self perceived pornographic addiction. See it's much more common for religious people to say I'm addicted. See it's much more common, Oh, I have an addiction, or they may say I have demonic oppression. They will either try to blame Satan, blame a demon, or blame addiction. If you are religious, you're gonna blame it on an addiction. You're gonna blame it on a demon, or you're gonna blame it on Satan.

15:13 You're gonna somehow connect it to spiritual warfare. That's what you're going to do. Individuals with strong religious beliefs are more likely to view their pornography use as an addiction, possibly due to the conflict between their actions and their religious teachings. Keep that in mind. They're gonna say it's an addiction because they see, oh no, there's a conflict here. I've got all of this religious teaching that says this about me. But I keep looking at porn. I know what it is. It's an addiction. It's an oppression, it's a demon. It's they've got to because what they have been taught leaves them with no explanation to why they keep struggling with porn. Now, if you look at denominations, they did a study and they found that Conservative Protestants.

16:08 Conservative Protestants in the United States experience experiences significant cognitive dissonance regarding pornography. This group often reports feelings of guilt and shame associated with their consumption of pornographic material. Why there's cognitive dissonance because they are told one thing thoughologically, Hey, now that you are a Christian, this is true. This is true, this is true, this is true. This is true. But at the same time, they're like, yet I look at pornography, I seek it out, I have lost I have desires. Oh wait, there's something wrong. There's cognitive dissonance here. Something doesn't make sense. So then they're filled with guilt, shame, and then they run to it's an addiction. They run to it's it's it's satan because they've got to have a way to explain it. These statistics highlight the ongoing struggle many Christians face with pornography, underscoring the need for open discussion and supportive resources within faith communities. So what do we do? What do we tell this pastor, see, he's looking for I need a series, I need materials, right and that funny, Hey, we've got everyone in the church struggling with porn and what now. I know he didn't say everyone, but I'm telling you he's had at least a number of men. Maybe not just an individual man, not just one man after another man. I think he's

17:40 had enough individuals to make him go, I got to do something who and I got to reach out for some help. So he contacts the ministry because he's looking for resources, right, Like, So what does that tell you? Well, just preaching the Bible is not working. Just the fact that they're saved isn't working. Preaching the Bible and then being is not working. I need some kind of materials. Now we'll talk about the materials most churches use. So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to talk about this, and I'm going to approach it from different kind of different questions, and then I'm going to kind of give a question, kind of give a thought, then kind of look at all the things about it, then kind of present another question. Now that means sometimes some of this is going to be a little bit repetitive, but that's okay because some of these things need to be repeated over and over and over and over because we've got to address this issue. So my mind as soon as I saw this, as soon as I as soon as I saw the statistics, I mean I already knew the statistics, but once I looked up the statistics to make sure I was still right, looked at that, looked at that email, started thinking about just all the different just in my own I don't know how many times, even as a broadcaster, I've had emails will say, hey, I struggle with porn. Can you help me? I struggle with porn. What can I do? Or you offer a resource, and all of a sudden, it's the most requested resource ever offered because it's about pornography and it's like there's a lot of men. There's individual not just a man, but individual just men plural who struggle with this issue.

19:14 So I was thinking, you have Christian pastors, you have Bible teachers who constantly teach over and over and over and over and over again that Christians are new creations, all things are passed away, all things have become new. They teach that you can now say notice sin, and you can say yes to God. They will teach you that you can now keep the law of God, that you have been set free from the bondage of sin. They will tell you that you now have the power of God inside of you to help you live victoriously, and now you have the power of God to overcome sin.

20:04 They teach all of this as being true practically. They don't speak of these things as being true positionally, but practically they teach this over and over and over. At the very same time they continue to teach this. Statistics, studies, articles and stories from pastors is that Christians and large numbers watch porn, look at porn, use porn, and struggle with porn. This is a complete contradiction to all of their claims. Doesn't all the claims actually hurt and hinder all those who struggle with porn. So I just want to look at this contradiction and how it actually hurts people because the Church constantly is like, no, you become a Christian. You're a new creation, old things that passed away, all things that become new. So you shouldn't be struggling with porn. You shouldn't be struggling with anything. Hey, you've got the power of God. Well, you shouldn't be struggling with anything, because God's power is greater than any sin.

21:01 So you should be able to stop sinning. Hey, you've been set free from the bondage of sin. Well, if I've been set free from the bondage of sin, that means I can be sinless. The Christian's cought you can say no to sin, yes to God. You can keep the law. Well, if I can do all of these things, I have this power, I have this freedom, I have this transformation, I have this change, then ladies and gentlemen, you should be perfect. So while Christians teach that the reality is is well, that person is struggling with porn, and that person is struggling with porn, and he's struggling with porn and they are. So she's struggling with porn and porn and that's just pornography. We're not even looking to all the other sinful issues. We're just addressing pornography.

21:45 There is a disconnect. Let me state this clearly. There is a massive disconnect between what is taught about the Christian life, victory over sin, freedom from sin, newness of life, and the lived reality of believers, particularly in the area of ongoing struggles with sin, such as pornography. There is a conflict. There is a contradiction between what is preached and the lived reality. And when you live in one reality but you're constantly being told that this is a reality, and you know the reality you're living is not the reality you're being told, there's a cognitive dissonance. There's a disconnect.

22:32 So what do you do? What do you do now? I will argue that this tension, this contradiction is actually harmful, particularly for those struggling with sin, for several reasons. I want to look at how this is harmful. Right, you teach all of this, but here's the reality. I say it all the time. Christian Christianity at large teaches a reality that is just fraudulent. It's a sham. This is why we've been talking about false comfort, false hope. It's this is the problem. It tells you, oh, now that you're a Christian, done, done to done. You're basically a superhero. You have superpowers, you can do it. But at the same time you're like, well, there's a problem here. I keep doing the opposite. So how is this harm harmful? Well, why does this create so many problems? Well, number one, it creates unrealistic expectations. When Christians are taught that they are completely new creations and that they're practically free from sin, it sets an unrealistic expectation. Right, what is the expectation. Well, I can basically stop sinning now, I know. Pastors said, well, no, I mean, nobody's gonna do this perfect. You throw that in after you went forty five minutes saying you are a new creation. Old things are passed away, you've been set free from the bondage of God, has broken your chains, you have the power of God. After you've done forty

24:04 five minutes yelling and screaming about that, and then all of a sudden, you throw in you know, read the fine print. Yeah, you're gonna continue to struggle with sin. It's like what it's like a some of the commercials about medications. Hey, you can take this medication. It's gonna make you feel great. It's gonna make you feel wonderful. Look at all the happy people in the commercial. And then and then at the very end they say this drug has also been known to cause internal bleeding, you know, seizures, you know, death, heart attacks, strokes. But hey, it'll make you feel better. That's what Christianity is. Hey, come to christ and you get this, this, this, this and this. But the fine priant is, well, you're still gonna sin, and you're gonna be You're gonna be filled with overwhelming guilt and shame and embarrassment. So doest all claims actually work?

24:50 It's sets an unrealistic expectation. So then if you struggle with sin, you feel like a failure to live up to what what you're supposed to be. You feel like a complete failure. Well, what is wrong with me? I'm supposed to be a new creation. Why do I keep doing this? This leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation because you begin to believe that your struggle is proof that you're not really saved, because that's inevitably where it will lead you. Well, if I'm supposed to be a new creation and everything's supposed to be different, and I have the power of God and all this, and well I continue to struggle with sin, you're gonna start questioning the validity of your salvation, or even worse, you'll start questioning the validity of Christianity itself. Or you're just gonna have to be a good pretender. So it creates unrealistic expectations that is absolutely devastating. Another thing it does is it leads to hypocrisy. Are hiding This contradiction between what you're told about the Christian life and the reality often pressures Christians to hide their struggles because if you admit the struggle with sin, it might be perceived as a failure, or it may be seen that you're not even saved. So guess what, many do they suffer in silence?

26:23 Or you live a double life, You live a double life. You talk a big game. Oh, these people are sinners, and these people are sinners and this is disgusting and this is vile, and I don't know what's wrong with everybody. And then you close the door, you lock it, click, you turn off the lights, and you go look at a porn side. So you've got to pretend. You got to pretend to be something that you're not. You live a double life. That can't be the answer. So number one, it creates an unrealistic expectation. Number two it leads to hypocrisy and hidi, you gotta pretend and you gotta hide.

27:21 Number three it completely neglects ignores the ongoing reality of sin. Scripture makes it absolutely clear that Christians are declared righteous. That's justification, all right, But at the same time, we are still sinners. Practically, Christianity teaches that our position. We are declared righteous, we are perfect, we are holy, we are a new creation. But practically we are still sin We're still sinners, we still sin. To teach any kind of basically a form of practical perfectionism denies the reality of sin. It denies the ongoing struggle with sin. That's one of the apostle Paul. The things I want to do I don't do, and the things I don't want to do those are the things I do. That is, we teach that. But yeah, but at the same time, we're like, but but you're a new creation. Old things have passed away, all things have become new. You've got the power of God, You've been set free. Well, then why do I not do the things I want to do?

28:35 And why am I doing the things I don't want to do? Explain it now? Some will say, well, Paul was writing that, and that's the experience of an unbeliever, not the one of a believer. Christians will make every excuse in the world. A set is simply acknowledging. Hmm. Maybe we're changed positionally, and maybe all of these things we claim about the practical life, maybe they're not true. Allowed to say that? Are we this kind of teaching that all these things have changed? Yet people continue to sin? Well, it's not helpful because it creates unrealistic expectations. It fosters hypocrisy, hiding, and you're living a double life. It neglects the ongoing reality of sin. And next it places the burden on the individual. Now, remember I kept going back and forth between man, man, man, man, member. I kept doing that.

29:37 You probably were like, what is wrong with you? I was trying to make I was trying to make a point. Way before I got to the point, right, because when we speak of a man, we're speaking of an individual. Men were speaking of a collective group, right, plural? Right? Well, this all, this kind of teaching places the burden on the individual man. Because it teaches that Christians have the power to say no to sin. It often implies, implies that failure is entirely their fault for not using that power. So it becomes very much as an end. You forget the men who look at porn. How about you as an individual, as a man. See, you've got power, You're not using that power. Why are you not using that power?

30:19 You're a new creation? Why are you doing all the wrong things? Something's wrong with you as an individual. So this leads to frustration, and it leads to despair because it oversimplifies the complexity of sin's grip and ignores external factors like addiction, trauma, or cultural influences and influences. But it places the burden on the individual. Forget anybody else who cares what other people are doing, because it's you. You've got the power, You've been set free. You can do it, but you're not doing it. Say something's wrong with you, something's wrong with you, And guess what it becomes about you and your problem. And so then you start looking, oh I'm addicted, or or I'm I've got a demon or or or Satan is doing and you have to start it all becomes about you. You you, you you. It's one different it's difference when you see it.

31:11 Wait a minute, this is not just a me thing. This is not just one man's problem. This is wait, this is a this is a bigger problem than even pornography. Because I know this is going to be shocking. But when you go to church, look around. Look at all those people. They're dressed so nice. Everyone's saying, Praise God. How are you doing, brother, How you doing sister? Oh, bless you, bless your family. They all talk a big game. Everybody looks so religious. Everyone looks so spiritual. They're carrying their bibles. Oh, everyone looks so godly. Oh it looks so great. So you think the problem is me, But you know what the reality is. All of those super religious looking people, you know what they are. They are sinners.

31:58 They may not be sinning with pornography, but their sinners because God says be holy as He is holy, and not one person in that church is doing that That means they are all in a perpetual state of sin. They are all sinners. They are all sinners and thought word indeed, by what they do and by what they leave undone. This is why I think a congregational confession at the beginning of worship is so important. That's how the Church has did it. That's how the Church did it forever throughout history. Everyone stands and says, Lord, we have sinned against you, and thought word indeed, by what we have done and what we have left undone, I have sinned against you. I my sin. I am a sinner.

32:41 And we come here seeking mercy and grace, and that we trust, our trust and our hope is in your imputed righteousness. If the whole congregation stands, and the whole congregation confesses this, oh, it could become meaningless words, and it could become repetitive. I understand that. But at least the symbolism is that we're all in it together. It's not you as the individual center. Everyone around you is a center. The woman three people down from you, she's a sinner. The man two pews behind you, he's a center. The pastor is a sinner. The deacon is a sinner, the song leader is a singer, the youth director is a center. Everyone's a center. Now you can all have you can go outside and grab your bag of rocks so you can stone the center two pews in front of you. But guess what, if you're going to stone him, then you deserve to be stoned because we're all sinners.

33:36 But what happens when you basically try to tell every now everyone is new, everyone has the power, well, then everyone has to pretend. So then the individual who's willing to be honest with themselves is like, what is wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with you. There's something wrong with the entire congregation. It's called sin, and salvation doesn't make that sin nature go away. So we need a more honest approach. So if we take it from a more philological and honest approach, we could do something like this. While everyone would acknowledge the ongoing struggle with sin, pastors and teachers should emphasize that Christians live in and the reality of sin. Now some would call it Christians need to live in the already but not yet tension of salvation.

34:30 Ai constantly says that if you look up Ai, I'm not a big fan necessarily of that phraseology. What I would say pastors and teachers should emphasize that Christians are sinners. We still live with a sinful nature. We are sinners. Therefore we are going to sin and thought word. Indeed, by what we do and what we leave undone, we are going to sin. That's got to be emphasized. Now. The fact is you emphasize that. People think you're excusing it. No one's excusing it. But you can't live in a fake reality. We have to understand that sins penalty is removed, but its presence and power remains a daily battle. I want you to hear that again. Sins penalty is removed, but as far as being a believer, the presence of sin and the power of sin remains. It is not taken away. I know every church you go to says, oh, you've been set free from the penalty of sin. You've been set free from the power of sin. You've been set free. No, that's trash. You haven't. You've been set free from the penalty. The presence and the power of sin is still present in your life. That's why you keep sinning. And if the presence and the power of sin was truly broken, then you could be perfect. But if you can't be perfect, that means there's something keeping you from being perfect. That means it has power and it is present, and that's called sin. It's not that complicated.

35:58 So we got to acknowledge the ongoing struggle with sin. Number two, we got to recognize the depth of sin. Sin is not merely an act of the will. It is a condition of the heart, deeply rooted in your nature. Now, you may be called to resist sin, but you will not reach sinlessness in this life. You are going to struggle and you're gonna have You need to recognize how deep sin is inside of you. It is deep, deep, deep, deep deep inside of you. It's in the basement. It's on the first floor, the second floor, the third floor. It's in all the closets. It's in the guest room, it's in the main bedroom. It's in the bathroom, it's in the kitchen, it's in the dining room. It's everywhere.

36:39 Your house is filled with sin. It lives there. I think another thing we have to do is we've got to emphasize grace, not performance. Instead of emphasizing the believer's power to overcome sin teaching should center on God's grace in Christ. The gods Well isn't just for initial salvation, it's the daily source of forgiveness and strength. It needs to be a gospel we go law law with the answer is law, do this, don't do this, do this, don't do this, do this, don't do this, don't look here, don't do this, don't watch this, block this, get rid of this, have filtering software, have an account abilt law law, law, law, law, law, law, law, law, and guess what the law. All it's going to do is just give you more things to feel guilty about because you're going to fail more and more and more and more. It needs to be a more. It needs to be a gospel based, not a performance based. Gospel based is Yes, you're a sinner, don't deny the sin, don't hide from the sin, don't pretend that the sin is right. Run to Christ for forgiveness and trust and imputed righteousness, and still understand you're a sinner, and be grateful for that imputed righteousness and hopefully add a gratitude for what God has done for you. It will help continue to motivate you to struggle against it. But at the same time, you've got to be realistic. Even if you overcome this sin, you're still a sinner, and nobody wants to admit that you can overcome thirty sins. You're still a sinner. You still sin, and you're going to

38:10 be sinning until the day you die. And then we have to provide practical help without condemnation. Now, I know that's going to sound contradictory, but let me explain. We have to address issues like pornography with honesty and compassion. We have to offer you help, we have to offer support. Now we said, but what about and I'm not And when I say without condemnation, what I mean is you can just condemn it. You can grab your rocks, you can humiliate, you can go for church discipline, you can just do all of that. And or you can say, look, I'm not excusing your sin. Your sin is wrong, but you're a sinner. They're a sinner, he's a sinner. Everyone in this church is a sinner, So let's try to work on this. That's not I'm not saying we don't condemn it in the sense that is just you're a sinner.

39:04 Stop it. It's like, well you, yes, you're a sinner. Yes, this is sin. Now what can we do. Let's be compassionate and generous and gracious, not just condemning, so that right there is already challenging this whole cognitive dissonance that is within Christianity. But this is funny. You have Christians running around teaching that, hey, everyone's a new creature, all things have passed away, You've got the power of God. All of these claims that are just made in sermon after sermon after sermon after sermon after sermon, and that already causes all these problems and it doesn't help anyone because it creates this disconnect. We just looked at all of that and we gave kind of a more practical approach.

39:52 But here's what's funny. When Christian ministries do try to help with porn, and it typically looks like the help anyone would offer overcoming an addiction. They may throw in some spiritual language, but in the end, it's the same practical steps a non Christian psychologists or counselor may offer when it comes. It's funny because on one ann churches are like, you're a new creation, Old things have passed away, all things that have become new. You've been set free for the power and bondage of sin. You can now say yes to God. Noticein you can now keep the law. You've got the power of God to overcome sin. Even after they teach all of that, when it comes down to it, they'm like, hey, man, I got a problem.

40:37 I got all these men, and I got this individual man and this individual woman. I got the women, I got the men, I got all of these people struggling with pornography. What do I do? Give me some materials And then you look at the materials and almost inevitably, oh, it'll be wrapped in a nice Christian package. They'll quote some scripture, and they'll talk about prayer, and they'll talk about the Holy Spirit. They will throw in all of the Christian cliches. But when you get down to the practical steps, it looks just like any other self help program that you would offer anyone. We just use the exact same steps that any secular program would. Much of the help Christian ministries offer to those struggling with pornanography mirrors secular approaches to addiction recovery. There may be a layer of spiritual language added, but the core strategy are typically practical and behavioral. Its behavioral modification is all it is.

41:46 So this would raise an important question about the distinctiveness of a Christian approach addressing sin an addiction. Is there a distinctive Christian approach? Because when you have pastors asking hey, hey, give me some help, it's the same basic steps like you. It's just like you could go to any any basic secular counselor they're going to tell you the same basic things. What are the common practical steps used by Christian ministries? Well, typically accountability partnering with a trusted person or group to confess struggles and stay on track. You need an accountability partner, right, you need someone who who In many cases they'll say you need an accountability partner. So let's put some software on your phone or your computer so that you know, Bob over there can watch what you're looking at and keep up with what you're looking at. Then Bob can call you, going, hey, man, thing's going okay. And you know when he Bob calls you that he says, are things going okay? That he's seen on the monitoring software that you're not doing so good? Now that's accountability. Now, listen that there's nothing Christian about that at all. That's just a typical way of Hey, how am I going to stop using Well, I'm going to have someone watch me so closely that if they get caught, they're going to see what I'm going to do. So I know I'm being monitored, so I'm going to stop doing it. Well, that's nothing Christian about that. There's nothing the Holy Spirit, the power of God. That's just I don't want to get busted doing this and Bob is watching what I'm doing.

43:23 Some will say you need to install filtering software to block access to pornography. The way is and in it funny. There are Christian ministry filtering systems right with covened eyes. I can't remember the others, and it blocks what you're trying to look at. It blocks it now, And it's funny. Christians who supposedly have the power of God, who are new creations in Christ? Who who all of these things? Yet when it comes down to it, Hey, you need an accountability partner because you know God himself can't help you. Oh and you need a filtering software because you know God. Wait wait, I thought God was the one who gives me power. I thought, well, God is the one who gives me strength. Why is it? Now? It comes down God ain't showing up. Now. It comes down to, well, forget God. You need Bob to watch you, and you need a software that will keep you from looking at it.

44:12 Whoa I thought. I thought I was freed now and it amazing when you get down to the practical steps, it contradicts everything they taught you about the reality of what you were supposed to be. So you have accountability, you have filtering software, and then you have behavioral triggers. This is where a counselor will say you need to identify and avoid situations or emotions and environments that lead to your temptation. So the next time you are tempted to look at porn, try to look at the things that have happened previously that may trigger this behavior. Now, this is right there. This is such a secular approach because you know what triggered the behavior. Let me see here.

44:54 Oh yeah, you're a sinner. Okay, but okay, but you can go Oh I got it. Oh I gotta get and you typically will keep a journal. All right, I'm feeling tempted to look at porn, all right, Oh well, this happened, and this happened, and this These are my triggers, and you identify your triggers, and then you've got to be able to This is just this is just basic secular counseling. One oh one. Habit replacement. We were listening to a sermon yesterday on Strongholds where he literally mentioned this, right, you have to you have to adopt a new, healthier habit to replace harmful behaviors. You keep doing this, you got to replace it with something good. You're you're addicted to this, replace it with something better, and then you can be you can pour all yourself into that and keep it from that. Now this right there, How well this works with pornography. There's deeper issues here, but okay, I guess you can go with that. But there's nothing Christian about that. Oh and then you can you can go to counseling or therapy because you know you need some help. So then you go sit down down with a pastor or if you do biblical counseling, and then you you tell your struggles and then the pastor will read some scripture telling you it's a sin you need to repent and or you can go seek secular counselors who then will try to look at the reasons why, and then it just becomes But when it gets down to it, there's nothing overtly Christian about any of it, and not all of that. All of it contradicts. Why do you need all of these steps? If supposedly you're

46:25 a new creation, old things have passed away, you've been set free from the power of sin. You are you can now, you've got the power of God. Well, if all of that is true, I don't need any of these steps because done Dunn, I've been set free. I have power. I got the power of God. There's no sin I can't overcome. You see the contradiction, because when you get down to it, there steps to help you are nothing more than typical secular counseling. And all of those steps that I just gave you are used in both Christian and secular context because they are grounded and common sense behavioral modification principles. I've said it before. Christianity, when you get down to its practical level, is nothing more than behavioral modification. Now, guess why you go to these behavioral modification programs Because it allows the Christians to still deny the reality. This still is a denial of you are a sinner with a sinful nature, and you're never going to stop sinning because nobody wants to admit that, because at the same time, you're still telling these people you've been you're a new creation. Everything has passed away, everything is new, you can do it. You've got the power of God, You've been set free. So they got to still maintain that teaching, but they so you can

47:55 really get into the fact, Hey, look, man, you're going to continue to even if we help you with this, you're still gonna sin. Nobody wants that because that sounds like a weak, you know, defeated Christianity. But that's the reality. So you just go to these practical steps where you can really ignore all of this, and the approach is essentially the same as secular addiction therapy with a veneer of spirituality. There's really not there's really not anything. There's really not anything distinctive about it. Now, if we were to try to have a more if we were to try to have a much more gospel minded approach, well then we start with the reality of sin. Right, Hey man, you are a sinner you're never going to escape that.

48:46 We point people to the Gospel. Flee to Christ, find forgiveness, find grace. Remember, your salvation is dependent upon imputed righteousness, not an infused righteousness. You kind of go with that. And when you consider that the church basically uses the same secular methods that everyone else uses, guess what. It highlights the significant inconsistency with the claims often made about Christians being practically free from sin. It basically it's a contradiction.

49:32 It contradicts the claim of practical freedom. It reduces spiritual transformation to simply nothing more than behavioral management. In some ways, it acknowledges the ongoing presence of sin without ever admitting it. It creates confusion and discouragement for believers struggling with sin. This inconsistency is disorienting. They hear that they are new creations and can say no, yet their lived experience as one of ongoing struggle. They told that God's power enables them to overcome sin, but they end up relying on the same practical strategies that non believers rely on. This creates a sense of guilt and frustration that may feel that their struggle reflects a personal spiritual failure, or it demonstrates a failure of Christianity itself. The fact that Christians turn to secular methods. It shows that freedom and crisis positional, not practical. It shows that we are a new creation positionally not practically. And it shows that Christian teaching constantly over promises things that are not to be promised, which lead people feeling like the whole thing is a fraud.

50:57 So what are some things that we should affirm Christians? Here's what we have to affirm. I know this is going to be shocking to people. We have to acknowledge. We have to affirm that the desire for sex is as natural as the desire for food. Right, it's inside of us, It's there, it's placed there by God. It's a part of who we are. So we have this natural desire for sex. And I and listen, I'm just gonna try to get as blonde as I can get here. All right, have you eaten breakfast today? Have you had breakfast today? Okay most of you are going to say yes.

51:48 If not, you're probably already hungry. But guess what you had breakfast? But I'm assuming that somewhere around lunchtime, you're gonna be hungry again. And then you're gonna eat lunch and guess what's going to happen. Oh, yes, you're gonna be hungry again come dinner time or supper time, depending on where you live. And then you may even throw in some snacks. Why do you eat to satisfy this desire, this hunger? Yet you have to eat again because the hunger is never truly quenched. The hunger is never truly satisfied. Well, the sexual desire, now, there's always exceptions to the rule because different people and things going on in their bodies, but there is a for It is very common for majority of people that the sexual desire is not like, well, I got satisfied once, I'm good now for the next six months. It's an ongoing desire. So it's a normal, everyday, normal desire that is never truly satisfied. It is never truly quenched. I know that's gonna be shocking to We don't talk about this as good Christians. We don't do this stuff. This is horrible. We don't do this, okay, But if it's true, and you can read your Bible, and the Bible seems to acknowledge that sex is a major issue, right, because I don't know every kind of sexual sin you can even imagine is in the Bible, right, it's all there, okay. So hmm. So it's a desire and it's never truly satisfied, meaning if you satisfy it on Monday, depending on the individual, you may be hungry

53:20 again on Tuesday, and maybe you'll make it till Friday. But it's coming back, all right. So there. So it's an ongoing desire. Oh wait, and we have a sinful nature, sinful nature with a normal desire that is never truly satisfied. I wonder what could happen? Well, the sinful nature is going to tell you to satisfy that desire and that hunger by any means possible. And even if you get it satisfied in the confines of marriage, it may tell you to satisfy it again looking at pornography the next day, the same day, two days later, a week later, a month later, because you've got the desire and your sinful nature is like, why are you not satisfying the desire?

54:09 The sinful nature with the desire creates an ongoing hunger and appetite that's never truly satisfied. That's going to lead you to pursue satisfaction and unbiblical means that's if you don't acknowledge that reality, then your entire understanding of it is ridiculous. The sinful nature the flesh affects every part of human life, including sexuality. Even good desires can become disordered, leading to lust, objectification, and selfish gratification. Salvation changes a believer standing before God, but the sinful nature remains. This means that struggles, especially in areas as deeply in grained as sexual desire, will persist. It's never going away now.

55:09 As you get older, the desire may diminish, not because you became more spiritual, not because you became more godly. It's because, most likely what happened is one, you now are married, so you have a way to satisfy it. If everything is going right in the relationship and everything is good, and you have two people who want to engage, so you may have a way to satisfy it two. As you get older, depending on the individual, not true of all individuals. Sometimes the desire diminishes, or you know you're you don't need as much. The only way. I'm trying to be as blunt as I can be about it. That doesn't happen in everyone. And sometimes this leads to problem in marriage because one person the desire stays the same, the other one the desire lessons dramatically. Now you have a disconnect here. And so the sinful nature is like, well, your partner doesn't want You've got to get satisfaction. And there's which leads to pornography. But it starts with a natural desire, just like hunger. But you have a sinful nature.

56:15 Just see how that works. Both of them are inside of you. The desire for it is inside of you. It's good, it's right, there's nothing wrong about it. Your sinful nature is like, well, you've got this good, right desire, why are you not satisfying it? And yes, in your mind as a Christian, you're like, oh, I've become a Christian. Thank God, I'm gonna be set free from this. I'm gonna be set free. And then you're like, what is wrong? Because you're not set free from it? Who told you that? They lied to you? I know Christians love to present that, oh, oh you're struggling with homosexuality. Become a Christian dun dun du dut a it goes away? What kind of lunacy is that? No, it doesn't. These issues don't just magic disappear.

57:01 For some things change, but the sinful nature remains the same. And even if it changes in one area, your sinful nature is still going to be manifesting itself in a thousand other ways. The desire for sex is ongoing, and it cannot be fully satisfied. Even in marriage. It's never fully satisfied. This is a reflection. Some would say theologically that this is a reflection of humanity's deeper need for fulfillment that only God can ultimately satisfy. Now, some will say only God can ultimately that this hunger shows our desire for God and God is the only one that can truly satisfy it. Well, the only problem is God doesn't obviously satisfy it in this life. Because if God fully said satisfied in this life the second you become a Christian and entered into our relationship with God, then you would be fully satisfied and you wouldn't need anything else.

58:07 We preach that right, Oh, we can find complete satisfaction in God. Well, if God is the one who satisfies us completely, well, then we shouldn't have any problem. I think God ultimately satisfies it. But as long as we're in this life, we're left. Just think of of how of all the needs and desires we have. Just think of all the needs and desires you have every single day, emotional desires, physical desires, biological. Just go through all of the desires and needs and wants that you are just filled with all day. Hunger, companionship, friendship, intimacy, comfort, entertainment.

58:55 We are just a bundle of desires and needs and wants. Doesn't disappear. And sexual temptation, I know is going to be a shock, does not vanish. In fact, in some cases it does not vanish or even diminish with age. It doesn't diminish or go away with marriage. It doesn't go away with spiritual maturity. Christians need to hear that their struggles are not unique or a sign of spiritual failure.

59:35 We've got to see that. And I think this can be shocking. I think sometimes if a woman has raised in Christianity, she's basically raised that hey, when people become a Christian, then boom, all of this is transformed. All of this has changed. So think in many cases, then they get married and think, well, now I'm marrying a Christian man. He's never going to struggle within these these these issues. He's he's because he's he's got the spirit of God, he's got the power of God. I'm never going to have to worry. Yeah. See, it's funny because you expect that he's never going to have a problem in that area, even though you seem to excuse the fact that you have a problem in all of these other areas. Yes, okay. The issue is this is a desire everyone, well not everyone's going to have their own struggle that sin is going to bring in their life.

1:00:27 It may not be in this area, but the desire for sex is built into people and the use that the use. Then the numbers demonstrate a large number of people struggle with pornography, including women, even though that's never spoken of in the church. Many Christians feel isolated in their struggles because the Church often fails to openly discuss human sexuality in a nuanced, grace filled way. You can't really speak about human sexuality and a nuance. It's very black and white. Just stop doing it. Behavioral modification, well, I can try to, and you just think from a philological point, behavioral modification is only focusing on trying to control external behavior. You know what, You may not be looking at porn, you still may be filled with lust.

1:01:21 You do realize that, right, even if you don't look at porn, if you look at a woman with lust, you've committed adultery. Whether you ever do anything physically, you're just as guilty philologically. Nobody ever wants to admit that. If we read Matthew five twenty seven through twenty eight, you have heard that it was said you should not commit adultery. But I see unto you that anyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed a with her in his heart. If we truly take that standard seriously, many Christians who consume pornography or even entertain lustful thoughts would indeed be guilty of adultery in a theological sense. This raises the question about the church's collective holiness and the way sin is understood and addressed.

1:02:26 Ladies and gentlemen, this means your church is filled with adulterers. You go to church with adulterer after adulterer after adulter, adulterate, adulteress, adulterer. Everyone, I'm the whole church is just guilty of adultery. But but we try to pretend that that's not the case. Oh, the world out there, that group the world is so sinful. The whole church is filled with a bunch of adulterers. See in Matthew five, Jesus is broadening the scope of sin, show that it's not merely about an outward action, but it's the condition of the heart. Adultery isn't limited to physical infidelity, but includes luss, making it a near universal sin within the church. It is a universal sin within the church because it has nothing to do with what you do physically. Oh, we focus on the physical. If someone does it physically, we like, we've got the nails, the hammers, the torches, the stone, the rocks, and we're ready to end their lives. That's the end. But the fact is all the people with the torches and with the nails, and with the hammers and with the stones, they're adulterers too. Well, you're condemning that man of being an adulterer, you are an adulterer. If I'm condemning someone of being an adulterer, I'm an adulterer. We are all adulterers. Now, am I excusing any adultery? No, I'm not excusing it.

1:03:48 I'm seeing the reality is everyone. It's a universal sin. So what is Jesus trying to actually do in a sermon on the Mount. Jesus is intensifying the demands of the law. The goal of the Sermon on the Mount is not behavioral modification. The goal of the Sermon on the Mount is to expose our inability to achieve righteousness. It's to demonstrate we can't do it. See when you look at the Sermon on the Mount, you're like, these standards are in crazy. No one can pull this off. And that's the whole point. By the time you get to the end of the Sermon on the Mount, what you should be doing is ripping your clothes, sitting in a a pile of ashes. You should put on some sackcloth.

1:04:34 You're rending your garments, you're throwing ash upon your head. You're putting on sackcloth, and you're like, I can't do this, and like, great, Now run to Christ who did. The only one who can obey the Sermon on the Mount is the one who preached it. The Sermon on the Mount is to expose that we are incapable. We can never keep it. You can try all you can preach the Sermon on the Mount threaten people, give them practical steps for behavioral modification. Nobody is fulfilling it. Even in the sermon them out. Jesus says, be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect. You cannot do it. It's supposed to drive you to Christ and to the Gospel that says you are sayd by an imputed righteousness. If Jesus definition of what adultery is that if anyone looks at a woman's lust is applied to the church, then the church is filled with adulterers. You could say the church is a community of adulterers. The church is a community of murderers. The church is a community of liars, the church is a community of sinners. So what's the ultimate answer.

1:05:58 The ultimate answer is honesty, transparency. The answer is found in imputed righteousness, not an infused righteousness, because if we received infused righteousness, the answer is stopped saying telling people all of these lies about you've been this, and you're this, and you're this and you're when everyone knows the reality is nobody's a new creation. Practically not all the old things have passed away, not all the things become new. You've not been set free from the power of sin. You've not been set free from the bondage of sin. Practically, positionally, all of that is true, but none of it is true practically. The power of God is not filling your body so you can overcome sin. Because if that's the case, you could be perfect. Since no one is perfect, then that means either the power of God it can't get you to perfection, which would call into question his power, or he doesn't want you to be perfect, which they would call it coll We get into all kinds of problems.

1:06:52 Stop with all of that nonsense. I don't know how many people will hear this, but I know whoever hears this high probability fifty to seventy percent of the people who will hear this, depending on age groups a right, the older people less likely, but anyone between eighteen and probably thirty, maybe eighteen to forty, probably over fifty percent of these people listening, if they're even honest. We'll have to acknowledge porn news, seeking out porn or at least lustful thoughts. That's just the reality of it, and I know you're looking for some secret what can I do?

1:07:44 What can I do? We'll just start admitting the fact that it's coming from your sinful nature, and that sinful nature is never going away. So all you can do is try to fight it and try to combat it. But you've got to constantly be running to Christ and be relying on the imputed righteousness and find security and that, and then hopefully that you'll be so overwhelmed with maybe hopefully gratitude for what God has done for you it will cause you to try to struggle and fight against it. But just and I hate to say this, even if you overcome that one, you're still a sinner. So don't even if you do overcome it, don't become arrogant and prideful and then run around condemn everyone else. There's one absolute guarantee in your Christian life. You're going to sin.

1:08:38 You're going to sin today, You're going to sin tonight. You're can a sin tomorrow, You're going to sin tomorrow night. You're in a perpetual state of sin. I don't care what preachers tell you they are, because unless you can be holy as God is holy, then you're never ever obeying that one law. That means you're in a perpetual state of sin because you're not fulfilling the law. Unless you can be perfect, because your heavenly Father is perfect. I can just go on unless you do all things without grumbling and complaining, unless you love your enemy, unless you turn the other cheek, unless you love God with all your heart, mind, body, and I can just go on and on and on and out. You add up all the laws and the Bible, you know you're in a perpetual state of sin. Stop pretending otherwise. Now you've got to then somehow reconcile the reality of your Christianity with the reality of your sin. And if you're not honest with it, then you can just be a hypocrite and you can live a double life, or you can just be honest. I'm a sinner. I say it all the time. I'm a sinner with a microphone. That's all I am. And if you think I'm anything else, then you are deceiving yourself. And you did not get that to set. You did not get that idea from me, because I'm telling you I'm a sinner with a microphone.

1:09:44 I'm a sinner with a microphone. I'm a sinner with a microphone trying to figure this out. At the same time, I know that there is hope and what Jesus Christ did, and that by faith I am declared perfect, righteous and holy in my position because of an imputed righteousness. And somehow I take the salvation that's been given to me by an imputed righteousness, and I filled with gratitude with that, and I take the Bible, and I understand what God calls me to do. Whenever I see law, I know it's supposed to drive me back to the imputed righteousness. I show my inability, but then I know that also provides what God is calling me to try to do. And all I can do is pursue it as imperfectly as that may be. And it's going to be imperfect until glorification. And anyone who tells you different they are lying.

1:10:27 And the Church has pretended for two thousand years, and all we've demonstrated is we can't do it. Thanks for listening, God bless