Are Christians Satisfied Pt 3

0:02 Looking at our world from a theological perspective. This is the Theology Central podcast, making Theology Central. Good evening everyone. It is Sunday, April thirteenth, twenty twenty five. It is currently six oh seven pm Central Time, and I'm coming to you live from the Theology Central studio located right here in Abilene, Texas. Now, at one point in my military career, six seven pm on a Sunday evening would mean I had been at work for about seven minutes because I had walked into the building and started my shift.

0:45 At six pm, I walked into Earling Birkwist Regional Hospital to begin my Sunday evening shift. Because the way it worked is one weekend I would have off. The next weekend I would work Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and I work twelve hour shifts. It was this three on two off, this kind of weird. I don't remember the exact way it worked out, but the simple way is one weekend I was off, and the next weekend I worked Friday, Saturday, Sunday six pm to six in the morning. All right, So at six oh that's now six oh eight pm. If I go back to that time, walking around the hospital. It was Sunday evening and my job, I was considered noncommissioned officer of the day. I had so many different responsibilities.

1:30 I was responsible for security of the hospital. I had all kinds of different things to do. I won't go through all all my responsibilities because it would just be boring, and I'm not here to tell you, you know, the boring stories of the glory days. To quote Bruce Springstein, I'm not here to do that. I'm not here to do that. But for the sake of this introduction, I think it's an important story because of my job. I walked around and you know, at the hospital in the evenings, obviously everything is basically closed other than your inpatient wards in the emergency room, everything else is closed down. Everything. So as I'm walking around doing security checks, everything's locked up, everything's, you know, fine. I did a walk around the perimeter of the base hospital making sure everything is safe there, checking cameras, doing a lot of security work is what I did. A lot of it was security work. So I walked around a lot of times. And this big hospital what four stories five stories again, I don't remember this huge hospital with basically empty walking around by myself on Sunday evenings and time and time again, I would I kind of refer to it. And I did a lot of talking to myself. Okay, if anyone would have walked up on me, like what are you doing? But I do like to talk to myself, okay, spending time alone, I will, I will do a lot of talking to myself and I and I would always kind of reference this Sunday night feeling. I would get this Sunday night vibe that I would get as the Sunday night blues.

3:00 I don't know why I call that, but a lot of times I would get, you know, I just I don't know. I would kind of become introspective and just kind of think about my life and how things had gone, had things gone the way I wanted to, remembering all of my mistakes want and there would be a sense sometimes maybe a little bit of melancholy depression, discouragement, dissatisfaction in life, a little like you know, what where am I going? What's going? You know, just a lot of questioning of everything, maybe getting a little too philosophical, but I would get you can call it I get into my fields, get I get into my emotion whatever terminology would you you would like to use. So Sunday evenings historically I have I have a tendency to do a little bit of that. And I was thinking about this today.

4:00 Millions of Christians got up this morning and they went to church. They got the family, a lot of them have families, get in their car, drive to church, and they heard about Jesus. They heard a sermon, they heard the word of God. They sang some hymns or praise songs. They may have prayed, maybe they partook of the Lord's Supper. Whatever they did, they went to church and heard things. Right now, it's now Sunday evening. I wonder how many Christians right now, if they're even remotely honest with themselves, can say, I am fully satisfied in my life. I have nothing to hunger and thirst for. I have Jesus.

4:43 I went to church, I heard the word of God. I am full, I am perfectly content, I am happy, I am satisfied. I have all that I need because I have Jesus. Oh, and I wonder how many maybe they have some of those same feelings on a Sunday evening, maybe some questioning and longing and wanting and needing and desiring. I wonder because I know by Monday, even if they haven't said anything, their discomptentment, their frustration, their irritations with life will probably show up, maybe even by the end of this evening. But sometime tomorrow they'll voice their displeasure, they'll voice their dissatisfaction. They will do that because that's reality.

5:39 Even though Christians try to teach oh no, no, no no no. If you've got Jesus, you've got all you need. Jesus is all I need. I'm perfectly happy with him. I just don't think reality proves what we claim, what we pretend. So and in this series we've been discussing satisfaction spiritual satisfaction, and part one I began challenging the popular Christian claim that Jesus fully satisfies. I explored how this idea is often repeated in sermons, songs, and books, but rarely examined honestly. I began to ask some hard questions about what satisfaction actually means, and whether most Christians who claim it are really just enjoying circumstantial blessing like marriage, friendship, financial stability, and emotional support, things that naturally bring satisfaction, whether Christ is involved or not. And I keep bringing that question up. Are you really satisfied with Jesus? Are you just happen to be satisfied because your life is pretty good and you can act all spiritual and you can act all godly and you can talk about Jesus and how fulfilled Christianity makes you. But just like, yeah't it interesting that you just have all the things on any list about satisfaction. You have this, you have this, check check check, check check, but you share act all super spiritual and pious. Yeah. I call into question a

7:15 lot of that. And Part two, I think I deepened the critique. I think I went a little deeper. I looked at how many Christians feel pressured to say they're satisfied in Christ even when they're actually not, because dissatisfaction is often treated as spiritual failure. I examined the role of privilege in this theology, how those who claim spiritual satisfaction often have most of Maslow's hierarchy of needs they already have all of those needs already in place, and how the Church tends to overlook or even shame those who are hungry, hurting, or emotionally hello and empty, and they all the while will insist Jesus should be enough.

8:00 And it's always interesting those who are without, those who have don't have Maslow's hierarchy of needs actually being met. They're told Jesus is enough by the people who have everything on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It's total trash the way the game is played. So in this episode and episode three, Part three, we're gonna kind of slow down. We're gonna ask a question what does real satisfaction actually require psychologically and theiologically, Because before we can ask whether Jesus satisfies, we need to define what satisfaction even is, and we've kind of been trying to build on this definition.

8:44 We'll even dig in a little further. If we take the actual definition the fulfillment of a need, desire, or appetite, reaching the point where you've had enough, then we have to ask what does it take as a human being to be truly said satisfied. Psychologists have spent decades studying this question, and what they found is both incredibly helpful and deeply uncomfortable for how we usually talk about satisfaction within the Christian world. Because the truth is, unless your basic needs, your emotional world, your sense of agency, love, and meaning are being addressed. You won't feel satisfied no matter how many Bible verses you quote, no matter how many church services you go, no matter how many small groups you join, and no matter how many worship songs you sing. So in this episode, we're going to look at what psychology actually says is required for deep, lasting satisfaction.

9:38 Explore how sin is often misdirected attempt or an a misdirected attempt to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways. I think that's key. And then I'm going to ask what does the gospel actually promise? Does it promise freedom from need, freedom from desire, freedom from want, freedom from frustration, irritation, discourage, and depression. Or does it offer a savior who enters into our hunger, into this reality and then walks with us in it. What does it actually promise? So that's what we're going to do. I know this has been somewhat controversial. Some people have really appreciated what I'm trying to do. We built a lot of the things we've done all kind of fitting together, the discussion about fear, the discussion about pornography, this all is fitting together now.

10:30 A lot of times I'm foolish, right because I think, ooh, look at this. This is pretty clever, this is pretty brilliant. This fits this, This connects to this, this connects to this. I think I'm giving this really very deep discussion, and a lot of times it's met with other people like, well, I don't think it's that deep. I don't think it's that interesting. I think it's a waste of my time. And I hate that you feel that way. But I just think there's more here, even if other people people don't see it. So are you ready, Let's just dig in. Let's just dig in. That's as quickly I had to try to offer some kind of review, and that's the best way. So I'm just going to imagine I'm walking around early Birk West Hospital and well, Belleview, Nebraska is not really located in Omaha, Bellview, Nebraska, off at Air Force Base Nebraska, all right, off at Air Force Bace.

11:21 It's Sunday night, and I'm having my typical kind of existential crisis. Okay, I'm talking to myself about life. And just remember, when I'm walking those halls, I was in school working on degrees on theology, Bible, biblical studies. I don't remember all the degrees. I was working. I was attending a Bible institute. I was a full, full, full time student. I was involved in three different schools at that time, so a lot of that time and that job, I was sitting at a desk when I didn't have other things to do, and I was working on homework is what it was doing. So it's not like I wasn't a Christian. I was a believer. I was reading the Bible, studying the Bible. I was a student in three schools and a full and full time job in the military. I was, but I was all in and trying to become equipped and you know, understand theology and doctrine.

12:19 But I still had these feelings. Now, I probably would have denied it if you would have confronted me, because I was at that time, Oh, I'm a Christian and Jesus is all enough and that's all I need. I would have really given you a pious, pretend, garbage answer. But in the in the solitude of an basically empty hospital, walking around by myself, and a lot of times especially when it would get dark, especially in the in the in the summer, I would go all the way up to the top of the stairwell, and there was a I had the key to the door, and it took me out on the roof of the hospital, and I would go up there two in the morning, one in the morning, just sit up on top of the hospital looking at the stars, and then have all kinds of deep existential crisis and wonder about life and thinking, you know, is it what is it all really mean? At the same time, though, if you would have found me later, I would have given you all the Christian answers. But here we go. Let's take a step back and ask ourselves.

13:23 What is the actual definition of satisfaction. I just alluded to it in my introduction. Satisfaction fulfilling a need or let me do it, do it this way, fulfilling a need, desire or appetite appetite if I can speak correctly, So let me do this again. We're off to a great start. The actual definition of satisfaction fulfilling a need, desire, or appetite. Reaching the point where you've had enough, You've been satisfied, you don't need any more. You're satisfied now. If you just think about that that this is why we're never truly satisfied, because do we ever truly have enough of anything?

14:16 Maybe temporarily, but appetites, desires, wants, needs, longings, they all come crashing back in. So if that's the definition, we're going with satisfaction, fulfilling a need, appetite, reaching the point where you've had enough. If that's the definition, then we have to ask what do psychologists say is actually required for someone to experience satisfaction in a real, lasting sense. So I put together, utilizing artificial intelligence, a synthesis of what psychologists and what their research generally has identified as core ingredients for real satisfaction. So here's a synthesis of what psychologis and psychological research has identified as core ingredients for real satisfaction. Now, I know what you're saying, this is psychology, I need scripture. I understand. But there is something to this that I think a lot of Christians miss. Okay, because remember Christians want to handle every issue with just stop, just don't do it. Just die to yourself, don't have that desire, don't have that need. Replace it with a desire and need for Jesus, and you'll be perfectly content.

15:28 It's all law, law, law, law, law, and you can do that. But I don't think it's ever going to fix the problem because whether we like it or not, there's two things about us that that are foundational. Here. One, you're a human being, and these needs and these desires, these emotional needs, physiological needs, biological needs, they're inside of you. You didn't ask them to be there, they're there. And I don't think all the Bible verses in the world, and all the condemnation in the world, and all the fire and brimstone is going to make those desires just go away. Christians love to do that. Someone has a desire, had just stop it, just stop it. And it's always great because you get to tell everyone else to stop their desire. But you have your own desires that you don't just stop. It's so weird. And then secondly, so not only do we have all of these desires, they're inside of us. We have a sinful nature and all of that's inside of you. This is like key to understanding ourselves. So here's the synthesis of psychologists and psychological research generally identifying the core ingredients for real satisfaction. Here's some of these and we're going to kind of again be borrowing. We've already alluded to Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

16:47 This is kind of just breaking it down a little bit more so. The first thing you need is basic needs must be met. These are the base levels. This is the base level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs before someone can even think about spiritual or emotional satisfaction. You need food, you need water, you need shelter, you need safety, you need rest, and you need security. You gotta have those. You gotta have food and water just to survive. Right, and you already know what happens. Just remove food, just miss a meal, two meals. You know what happens, and you immediately see the external evidence that you've missed a meal. You become grumpy, You become gripy, you become complaining, You snap at people, you're frustrated, you get angry. What is going on? Oh well, you just haven't eaten and all of it. That just shows you. You just take away one of these things and boom you get you get a reaction. And sometimes the reaction is what sinful because you're showing anger, you're showing discontentment, you're complaining, you're grumbling, You're you're not showing love to your neighbor as yourself.

17:51 You're not loving your enemy, you're not turning the other cheek, you're not responding with a kind word. Why Because you're hungry and you're frustrated. These must be in place. Chronic stress, poverty, trauma, or instability undermines any sense of satisfaction. If you've got something bringing stress, if you're experiencing some form of poverty, any kind of trauma, any instability in your life you just don't know, there's a lot of instability. This undermines any sense of satisfaction. Until you can find stability, these things will I mean, I'm sorry, you're never going to get satisfaction. You can claim Jesus from you can talk about Jesus twenty four to seven. You're never going to have true satisfaction because these things are missing. Basically, this puts you in survival mode, and once your in survival mode, you will struggle to experience satisfaction of any kind. So the implication much of what people call spiritual satisfaction is inaccessible to those in crises, poverty, or trauma on life, that definition is radically redefined. So here's the thing. If you claim Jesus is that all that you need, will take it to people in these conditions, and I'm sorry.

19:10 You know what you're gonna end up doing. You're gonna basically say, well, you don't believe in Jesus, you don't have enough faith, or you're not saved. No, it's because they don't have their best basic needs met, which then demonstrates that Jesus clearly isn't enough when you don't have your basic needs met. And what happened We see it in job. Things start being taken away from him. And what happens. He starts crying out. He's he doesn't even he wish he was dead, he wish he wasn't ever born. I mean, he expresses pain and frustration because those things are being taken away. He doesn't say, oh, well I got God, I'm satisfied. Now. He's unhappy, he's angry, he's mad, he's got questions, he want answers, he wants something to change.

19:56 So basic needs must be met or there's not gonna be any saturd faction, and so you can forget spiritual satisfaction. So those are basic needs. Second, psychological stability and emotional regulation. According to self determination theory and related models, a person must have a stable emotional baseline to experience satisfaction. Chronic anxiety, depression or unresolved trauma interfere with the ability to feel to feel like needs are met even if they are. And guess what, chronic anxiety depression. Some of these things are beyond people just say well, just stop feeling bad, just stop. These are deep rooted issues and they can be caused by lots of different things, and just giving someone Jesus just doesn't make all of a sudden, oh it all fixed, it's all better. Christians like to believe that it's basically Christians sometimes treat anxiety depression a lot of mental health and emotional issues. They treat it in a very weird way, right, because you would never go to someone like, Oh, I mean, well, maybe some crazy, whacked out charismatics would do this, but charismatic theology is evil and should be you know, removed from the face of the earth. Okay, so don't even get me started on charismatic theology because I don't even acknowledge it as being Christianity. But any reasonable person would not go to someone who's got terminal cancer, say, get Jesus and your cancer goes away. Get Jesus and this disease goes away.

21:31 Or hey, you're an amputee, well come to Jesus and you'll get a new leg. Are you're paralyzed, come to Jesus and you'll walk again. It doesn't work that way. And guess what, just getting Jesus does not take away your physical illness or physical disability. It doesn't just magically make you mentally whole and emotionally whole. And therefore, having Jesus you can tell everyone Jesus is going to make all of this better and you're going to be perfectly satisfied. But these things, if these things are in place, you're not going to have that satisfaction. It's just a reality. Distorted beliefs about yourself or the world can block satisfaction even when external conditions are good. So these are situations where you can have some psychological instability or some something messing up your emotions that maybe even be on your control.

22:22 And even if you have all of the everything seems to be perfect and you've got everything good going on in your life, you're still not going to experience satisfaction. So people with guilt, shame, or low self worth may find it impossible to feel satisfied, even spiritually, because their inner world is fractured. And that's why sometimes there's things happening. It goes back to something inwardly is not right for whatever reason, whatever reason, and sometimes those are complex, they are deep, and they take a lot of time to try to figure out. So you're not going to have any true satisfaction if your basic needs are not met and if there's a lack of psychological stability and emotional regulation.

23:11 Number three the fulfillment of core of physio of psychological needs. I was going to go physiological. We've already covered physiological fulfillment of the core psychological needs. Self determination theory identifies three universal needs for deep satisfaction. These are psychological needs. Autonomy, the feeling that you have agency, that your actions aligned with your values and are freely chosen. Everybody wants to feel some sense of autonomy, that you have some sense that you can do this or you can do this, and you're not just being controlled and everything's being made for you. Everybody wants to feel some sense of autonomy. There's some sense of that and if you don't have it, well, you're wellbeing and sense of satisfaction can be taken away.

23:57 Number two competence feeling that you are capable and effective, that you're growing or achieving in some way. You want to feel competent. You want to feel that there's some level of competence. You want to feel that or if you don't, then you get frustrated, you get ear. You see this with a kid right when they're trying to do their schoolwork. If they can't get it, they don't understand it. What happens Do they feel satisfied? Oh, they get very frustrated because they lack that sense of competence. You get humiliated, you get embarrassed. You're not very satisfied at that point in time. I don't care how much you have Jesus. And then so autonomy, competence, I guess with a third one relatedness or relationship or you want to feel like people can you can relate to people and you can be related to all Right, the idea here is feeling connected to someone, to others. You want to feel that you belong. You want to feel that you're actually and that you're actually valued. You don't want to feel like you're being used. You want to feel like you're being actually loved. You don't want to feel like that, You want that you're actually valued. Satisfaction increases when people feel they're living a meaningful life with choice, impact, and connection. These are relational, psychological, and functional needs, not just emotional highs. If any of these are missing, boom, there goes satisfaction. And again I'm trying to set this up.

25:30 These things have to be in place. If they're not in place, and if they're not present, then guess what something's going to happen. You're going to be doing, You're going to be thinking, pursuing, desiring, and doing things that in many cases will lead you right over into sin. And we're going to talk about I believe sin in many cases is simply our attempt to satisfy and to meet unmet needs. But we're doing so in a way that Scripture condemns number four. You need some type of congruence between expectations and reality. Now this one is a little bit more complicated if your expectations are unrealistically high, which is often true even and I think some cases, and I think Christianity makes it worse you will almost always feel disappointed. We talked about this in a previous episode.

26:34 I'm telling you all of these things are interconnected. Look, I'm saying, if you have any expectation for anything, you're bound to be a dissatisfied, unsatisfied and frustrated because expectation is the very thing that will lead you to dissatisfaction. Now, Christianity, that we sell Christianity in a way that gives you the highest level of expectation in the world. Because it's basically so you come to Jesus. Done, dun, dun, dunn, You're gonna be perfectly satisfied because Jesus it's all you need. You're never gonna hunger and thirst again. You've got everything.

27:14 You don't need to look to anything else. The world can't satisfy you. Nothing can satisfy you. You have Jesus, you have purpose, you have meaning, you have an identity. You've got everything. You should be completely content. Oh and wait, there's more. Now that you have Jesus, you have the power of God working through you. You can now say no to sin, yes to God. You've been said free. You basically can be perfect. You're a new creature. All things are passed away, all things have become new. You basically can do you never have to sin again. And you're like, WHOA, I got a light when I became a Christian, and then all of a sudden you get slapped in the face. Day in and day out. You keep sinning, You keep sinning, You keep sinning, you keep sinning.

27:54 You still have these desires, you still are not happy, You're still not satisfied. Or to quote again, I've said this already once in this series, the Youtwo song, I still haven't found what I'm looking for all of a sudden, what's wrong with me? Well, what's wrong is you are sold a bill of goods and your expectations are way up here and they're unrealistic. Satisfaction happens not just when needs are met, but when you expect, but when what you expect and what you experience are in alignment. You've got to have some alignment here, They've got to be in agreement. Here's what I expect, here's what I get now.

28:41 So right here we could get into a discussion do we just need to lower our expectations to literally zero? What are the negative consequences of having no expectations? If you have no expectations, you will never be disappointed. I don't think. I don't think that actually works. It sounds good, but here's the problem. Even if I have no expectation, I have none. I can, I can. It may help me some, But here's the reality. These desires, these needs, these wants are built into our DNA. It's built into our DNA. Forget even our sinful desires, our sinful nature and the wants and desires it has. We haven't even got into that yet. So I think even if I have no expectation, I'm still gonna feel the pain and the need and the desire. I may be able to it'll be a little easier maybe to try to process, well, I don't get this, and I don't get this, and I don't have that. Well, I don't have any expectation to ever have that, So I'm good. Right, Maybe you can, maybe it will be helpful, But then you're gonna one day wake up and go, well, why why can't I have no expectation to have any of this? When I can look over there and go that person has this, this, this, this, this, this, well, why do they get all of that? And they can only can expect it. They get it, but I'm not even allowed to have the expectation because I'm never going to have it. Yeah, now that becomes very complicated. Now

30:13 Christians will come in. You just need to trust God. You just need to trust his sovereignty. He doesn't want you to have it. Now be quiet, because I'm going to go back to all the things you don't have. That's again Christianity doesn't sometimes have a good answer for this number five. So let's go through these. These are things based off psychological research and psychologists. Here's what they typically identify are the core ingredients for satisfaction. Basic needs must be met, Psychological stability and emotional regulation. Fulfillment of core psychological needs, congruence between expectations and reality, and a narrative or framework that makes it feel like life is makes life feel coherent. Let's stay it that way. You need a narrative, you need a framework that makes life feel somewhat coherent. Psychological well being is tied to having a meaning making system. Now, Christianity likes to believe that we're the only ones who have a meaning making system, but people can find a coherent philosophy to a place upon life that gives us some sense of that gives them a sense of wellbeing because they need to know that life makes some kind of sense. So people may turn to Islam, they may turn to Mormonism, Jehovah's witness, it doesn't matter. They will find some system. Some atheists, we'll talk about having great well being. All you need is something that will make it all make sense. And

31:43 if it makes sense to you, then that's all you need to then have some sense and level of satisfaction, some sense. I don't think that's again. You've got to have all these things in place. You got to really have all of these things. People need a story or a framework that helps them understand their experiences. Even suffering can be endured if you basically try to convince yourself, oh there's purpose in this. It's redemptive, and Christians love to do that. Hey, you were you were molested for fifteen years. Oh, I got good news for you. It was for your good. It's all gonna work out to good. There's redemption in it. God was doing that so that you'll be better off. I mean sometimes it's the most twisted and psychologically scarring thing I've ever heard in my life.

32:31 But if you can be convinced, oh, I went through all of this and it was for good. There's a purpose in it. A lot of it's just you're kept trying to convince yourself and then maybe it will make things better. A person who sees pain is meaningful will report greater satisfaction than someone who sees life as chaotic or pointless. So that's why people got to feel like, oh, there's a purpose behind everything. There's a meaning behind everything. Now again you can say, well, scripture gives these ideas. I am understand that, but I just want you to see everyone tries to come up with these concepts because everyone needs this. This is a psychological need. This is where religion and philosophy could possibly help or hurt. A bad theology can destroy satisfaction. Well, if I loved God more, I wouldn't feel this way. A gospel centered theology can offer hope despite dissatisfaction. So what is required for real satisfaction? Psychological?

33:30 Psychologically satisfaction arises when a person experiences basic survival needs met emotional stability, a sense of autonomy, competence and connection, reasonable expectations, and a meaningful framework for life. If even one or two of these are absent, true satisfaction becomes elusive even for religious people. No matter how much Bible you read, how much church you go to, that satisfaction is going to be gone. You're gonna get discourage, you're gonna get depressed. You just remove one or two of these things. From a psychological perspective, real satisfaction includes the fulfillment of emotional, relational, and even physical needs, not just intellectual and spiritual ones. When we talk about satisfaction in any meaningful or lasting way, here's what's typically included. All right, So now we're going to kind of even double down.

34:30 We're going to expand us a little bit more, because I really want you to see all the things that seem to be required for it to occur. Christianity is just like get Jesus, and it's usually get Jesus, believe in him, trust in him, die to yourself, and you're and you're good to go. You're good to go, and everything should be good again. The people who preach that, in most cases have many of these needs met, which then it's so irritating, right because is it Jesus or is it just because you have your needs met? But again, here's something emotional needs. People need to be to feel seen. They need to feel heard, and they need to feel understood. If you don't feel like people see you, if you don't feel like people hear you, and if you don't feel like people understand you, the wills are coming off the satisfaction train. Are the are the you know, the wills are coming off the truck, coming off the car.

35:24 It's just coming off. You need to experience emotional safety and validation. You want to be validated. You want to be seen, you want to be heard, you want to be understood. You have to be able to express and process emotions without fear of rejection or judgment. You want to be able to You got to be in a situation where you can express your emotions, express your fear, express your anger, express your frustration, and people are not going to go well, that's not very Christian of you. All right, okay, but you've got to have this. If you have it, then this is a good step to satisfaction. Satisfaction. If emotional needs go unmet, even someone with food shall and a job can feel empty, anxious, or unfulfilled. Emotional deprivation leads to dissatisfaction, even spiritual dissatisfaction. If you're deprived of some of these basic emotional things, not going to go well another one and again, when these emotional needs are not being met, I'm telling you it's going to have an impact on every area of your life. And remember, these needs are built inside of you. You didn't ask for these needs to be put there. Now you can try to say I have no expectation that any of my emotional needs will ever be met. You can pull that off, but those needs are still there. And then you take the need, mix it with your sinful nature. Boom.

36:45 You see where things are going. Intimacy and connection. Psychological satisfaction requires intimacy, not just physical, but emotional and relational closeness. This includes vulnerability, mutual trust, empathy, and feeling truly known and accepted by another person. Loneliness is one of the greatest predictors of dissatisfaction and depression. Loneliness is one of the greatest predictors of dissatisfaction and depression, the greatest. Now, I have a number of articles right now about say call it the loneliest loneliness epidemic in society. This has been talked about everywhere. But if someone becomes isolated and alone, you said, but you've got Jesus, and Christians will say that you should never feel alone. Jesus is with you, so they'll talk to someone who's alone, Well, you just remember you have Jesus with you, so everything will be good. Now, all right, I'm going to go go back and get in the in bed with my husband or my wife, and I'm going to go back with my family, and you have good night. Okay, Everything's wonderful for you, right, and because you've got Jesus. Again. Christians love this game where you tell people who don't have they've got Jesus and that Jesus is enough, while they have the very

38:17 thing that the other person is supposed to just have, Jesus. It's very contradictory. Satisfaction is not just about being loving. It's about being loved and being safe in that love. So you have intimacy and connection. A third physical pleasure and sensory fulfillment. This includes touch, physical satisfaction. I won't get graphic our physical satisfaction, warmth, taste, beauty, movement. Basic embodied experiences. These are basic body embodied experiences they're built inside of us. Well, this is downplayed and religious settings.

39:02 Psychology see sensory and physical pleasure as deeply tied to overall satisfaction. Physical affection can dramatically affect emotional stability and satisfaction levels. Denying or repressing physical pleasure doesn't enhance satisfaction, It typically blocks it. Now, guess what you're missing? Any of these things you see? You see where this goes? You take? These are needs built inside, they're psychological, physiological, biological, they're inside. Now you mix it with your sinful nature. One doesn't h oh, we can see where this is going. Another is love, Giving and receiving. Love is essential to any real sense of satisfaction, not just the feeling of loving others, but being securely loved, unconditionally and consistently. Especially important is secure attachment, a stable sense that someone is for you even when you mess up. Next, derogation of body, mind, and soul. Modern psychology increasingly recognizes that true satisfaction must address the whole person. The body needs and pleasure, the mind, meaning and purpose, the emotions, connection and stability, and the spirit transcendence, hope, and a moral framework. You can't just meet one of those areas and expect lasting satisfaction. So psychological satisfaction requires emotional intimacy and validation, relational love and belonging, physical pleasure and safety, purpose, agency, and coherence, a loving

40:38 narrative in which the self is seen safe and valued. And here's the kicker. Most people Christians included, don't experience all of this, So even when they claim spiritual satisfaction, there may be a lot of pretending saying, well, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna put this over here and I'm not gonna think about it because you got to hide it under the surface. So that sets the stage now and again you could I told you to put Maslow's hierarchy of needs. We basically went through Maslow's hierarchy of needs like three or four different ways. Basically what I've done, I'm driving the point home. You got to have these things and if you don't, boom, now you're there's a lack of satisfaction Christianity. Again. The only answer Christianity really has is just have Jesus and you got everything. But usually it's you've got you have Jesus and you have everything, But then it's that's never enough. No, no, not though you just have Jesus. Well, wait a minute, how much are you praying? How much are you reading? How much you're going to church? Are you part of a small group?

42:03 And then all of a sudden, there's like fifteen other things you have to do. So but here's the thing. You take all of that. Now what happens if you remove these things? You start removing I mean I went through all of them like fifteen different ways. I'm driving the part. Now just remove two or three of them. Now what happens? Two things happen. Are you ready? Dissatisfaction sin? Dissatisfaction sin Philologically and psychologically speaking, sin is us seeking to fulfill one of those deep rooted desires that plays a part and being satisfied, but in a way that goes against God's word. I want you to consider sin as a disordered satisfaction seeking. Sin is simply a disordered satisfaction seeking. Or we could say sin is simply seeking to fix your satisfaction. It's a disordered way to fix your satisfaction. Sin is you seeking to satisfy your dissatisfaction in a disordered way. Now that takes sin in a whole different level and a whole different way that goes beyond everything. And that's why just saying stop doing it, don't do it, don't do it. No, no, no, you're

43:34 going to deep rooted deeds and desires. It's gonna be something more complicated. And we're not even again, we've not even added too much into this equation. The sinful nature, the sinful nature, the sinful nature, the sinful nature. Sin is not just the breaking of rules. It's seeking to fulfill a legitimate need or desire in a way that bells against God's design, will or word. This is not a new idea, goes all the way back to Augustine. It goes back to Aquinas, it goes all the way back to the Reformers in some different form, and all this all lines with modern psychological understanding. I'm not we're throwing out Christianity for psychology. I will say the early Christian fathers and leaders, many of them understood these concepts.

44:27 Going back to Augustine, the Reformers, and Aquinas. Sin is in many cases simply a misdirection of a real God given longing. And I'm gonna say god given longing because we're built with this body and it's built into us. And again we have the god given longing, a real desire, need want, You need it to be even remotely satisfied. Yet you have a sinful nature that's going to corrupt the desire already. So even if it's the desire is good, well, we're we are already corrupted. So then our desires are a mixture of good desires and wrong desires, and it all gets mixed together, and then your sinful nature is going to say, we'll satisfy that desire by any means possible. See, desires, in many cases reflects how we made, how we were made.

45:25 Obviously we were made with a need for love. Obviously we were made with some kind of a desire built into us for pleasure. I mean, there's no way to get around that. We like to be pleased in a hundred different ways. Obviously we have some desire for purpose and meaning. Obviously we have some hunger and desire for belonging and intimacy. Obviously we have some craving for security and peace. Obviously we have some instinct for agency and identity. None of those desires are inherently sinful, but sin enter when we attempt to satisfy them in ways that defy what God, defy the God who gave them. And this can get very confusing within even within Christian theology, because wait a minute, God gives me these desires, but then says, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no. You can't satisfy it this way, this way, this way, this way, this way, this way, this way, this way, this way. You can't even desire, you can't lust for it. No no, no, no, no, no no no, don't.

46:27 Now that sounds good because many Christians, well, that's right, you should not lust and desire for any of those things because you should just love God supremely. Well, we're never going to love God supremely. And again, it's always easy for people to say that if they're getting many of these needs met. See, you can talk a big spiritual game and you can act like you're such a spiritual superstar when you're getting all the needs met. Remove those needs, and now talk to me, you'll sound like job. Let me let me show you how this plays out. Let's start with a desire for intimacy. What's the sinful substitution?

47:12 Come on, what's the sinful substitution for a desire for intimacy. Come on, come on, come on, oh illicit sex, pornography, and codependency. The biblical counter is, well, God's love, be vulnerable with God. Find intimacy with God. Now again, it's usually the people who have intimacy. They experience intimacy, they have it. How they say, but you go find your intimacy with God. I'm gonna get my intimacy from God and the physical and emotional intimacy from a person. Well, how wow, you're a Christian. You're a Christian rock star. Whoa.

48:00 And again this plays out so many times in the way it works in Christianity. They always talk about what happens. Well, these kids are raised in the church and then they're about this age, they disappear. And so we always say, well, man, it's because of liberal professors. It's because of Netflix, it's because of TikTok, it's because of rock and roll, it's because of rap. It's because or they have deep desires for what Christianni says. You can't have those desires, you cannot meet those desires, do not fulfill those desires, deny those desires, don't have those desires. So then what do they do. They're like, okay, well, Christianity's going to be all up in my case, going to get all up in my face. I'm going to go meet these desires.

48:42 And then ultimately the situation works out. Boom, they get married, they have kids, Now they have the intimacy they so desire. Then they come running back into the church and now they're the young couple sitting in the front room, front row, condemning everyone and acting so godly and spiritual. I don't know what the problem is with everyone, because fifteen minutes ago you had the same problem. But now that you're married and you're back in the church, you think you're godly and you can condemn everybody. It's such a game belonging, sinful substitution. This turns into tribalism, peer pleasing cults. You want to belong so you got your team. This shows up in theology even in a sinful way. My tribe against your tribe. Politics. Oh, you give into peer pressure.

49:38 Now the biblical count are supposed to be no, no, no, no. You don't need to worry about belonging to that peer group. You don't need to worry about what your friends say, you know, because you've been adopted into God's family, you're a child of God. You don't need to worry about anybody else. Now, guess what typically happens. It's the adults sitting in the pew. Right, they're out of high school, out of all of that peer pressure. Whether they've got their wife, they've got their spouse, so they are already what they feel like, they already belong, they've got that, they've got their church, they feel like they fit in. And they're like, I don't know what these kids always giving into peer pressure? What is their problem? Yeah, once again, you talk a big game because you're not there. But many of those same Christians will still show the tribalism and that they're getting their identity from something other than God.

50:29 But they'll talk a big game and still throw in God. How about peace? Well, the sinful way is you kind of just you get numb. You just you kind of just become comfortably numb to quote Pink Floyd, right, or you become you turned to substances and drugs and you look for something they give you some sense of peace. You look for a substitute. Christianity says trust in God's providence. You can have perfect peace, just trust in God's providence. Many Christians try to trust in God's providence. Again, it sounds good until I don't know. Your family's dead, you're alone, isolated, you're in a you don't have this, you don't have that.

51:13 This has gone wrong, This is going wrong. You don't know about this. All of a sudden, everybody tells you to trust in God. And then what happens. You see the cracks and many Christians their lives, they're struggling. This happens pleasure, that's a desire. How does it show up sinfully? In gluttony and lust and escapism more entertainment than anything else. Now, Christianity will say you can enjoy things, but within God's boundaries. But then nobody can really agree on what God's boundaries are. Can I watch this? Can I listen to that? Okay, so Christianity sometimes it just becomes a convoluted mass. Now what some people say is, well, you should find your joy in God. The word of God should bring joy, Praising him should bring joy. Also that preaches good. But all the people who say that listen to it in church say amen, Then get home and go home and do all the things that brings them pleasure and entertainment, from sports to movies, to TV shows to family friends, board games, cooking out, hikes, exercise, long walks on the beach.

52:24 Whatever identity, what's the sinful substitution? Pride, performance, rebellion, none, You just look for something to find your identity. Christianity says, your identity is in Christ. The power of agency. This is a desire. You want to feel that you have agency. This can and sinful substitution. It can show up in and manipulate, manipulating people, It can and trying to control situations. Biblical counter is stewardship, humility, surrender. Actually it goes completely against it. So sin is often not the desire itself.

53:14 It's the direction of that desire towards something that becomes an idle or false savior. Now I'll stop right there. So we have Maslow's hierarchy of needs, all these things that we need to be satisfied. Christianity says Jesus satisfies all of those things. But we know in reality it doesn't. Because Christians have these same desires. What we need to realize is then when these desires are not met, it leads to sin, It leads to issues and our desires and our thinking and our wants. Now, what is the Christian solution? Well, on one hand, I would love to preach the Christian solution right and say, well, you just need Jesus and Jesus needs to be what you desire.

54:02 But again it's such a game because everyone will say amen to that while they have half the ninety nine percent of what's on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. If you got eighty ninety percent of it met, well you can say all day Jesus is all you need. But it's not. Jesus is the reason you're satisfied. You're satisfied because you have everything on the list. So then you can't even claim Jesus is doing it. So the key is when you remove everything, would Jesus be enough? Would he really be enough? If you didn't have any of these things, where would you be? But it also can explain sin and a much deeper level. And you know what, it shows a simple law based approach. Stop doing it, stop desiring it, stop wanting it. Well, the desires are built into me. We'll just stop it. Now we could get into the answer of of just Christianity about dying to self?

55:03 What does that mean? How far do we take this idea take up your cross, deny yourselfe die to yourself. Do we take that and expand it to every area or does it have a law gospel approach that maybe we haven't even considered on this podcast. We will have to get into that. But again, why is it that these people one group, they have to deny themselves from all of these needs that's on the Maslow's hierarchy of needs in order for them not to be sinful? But that person can get all everything on Maslow's hierarchy of needs and get God. Well, where do they deny themselves?

55:46 So it's like that's where things get really all messed up within Christianity. But I'll stop right there. I want to get into Romans one and disordered desires. I wanted to get into Uh yeah, well, I'll just stop right there. I'll stop right there. But now you kind of see what I've been building towards and all of this and how this fits again with the whole subject of the whole Christianity and pornography. Christianity never addresses this deeper issue here, all right, I'll stop there. Thanks for listening. That was a lot of information, but there we go. Thanks for listening. Everyone, have a great evening. God bless