Episode 13: Envy is the enemy of passion (focus on yourself)
Too many people are wasting time and energy getting worked up and offended by what other people say and do online.
Too many people are wasting time and energy getting worked up and offended by what other people say and do online.
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2/17/2022
The Marsette Perspective
Episode 14: You can't control everything, especially other people.
Brief summary of episode: A breakdown of how and why people make choices based on what they think other people think and believe about them..
Transcription:
What's up, guys? It's Thursday morning and I feel good today. My wife was home, super sick. If it's real gross, I'll be honest, stomach bug and like and so, you know, well, that sucks because she was sick. And I felt that I did get to spend the entire day with my son instead of working, which was awesome in a lot of ways because I don't often get to do that, just kind of one-on-one.
And so we had a lot of fun and that was really cool. And, you know, we played outside and we did a lot of shoveling and all sorts of random stuff. You know, he's very cute, so he makes it very easy. Obviously, the negatives are that I have plenty to catch up on today, but that's okay.
My therapist tells me I gotta, I gotta enjoy the journey. Otherwise, you know, where am I going, right? And so, what I get out of that is I really need to focus on, you know, the fun, exciting and positive things that happen in the day-to-day. And not simply, just look at the long-term timeline and how I've held on that.
As long as I'm moving forward. You know, I'm doing pretty well just like we always say in the gym, the only way to fail is to not show up right to not not do the work as long as you're moving forward. You're doing well, because the alternatives are doing nothing or worse going backwards.
So I'm just happy that I got that opportunity yesterday and yeah it's really checking in feeling good today, slept really well. So that was good, you know, doing all the little self care things, right? You know, drinking the water, eating the food, you know, feels good to feel good, right?
And I've got an interesting topic that I wanted to kind of think through and kind of talk about today. And I guess we're just jumping right into it and it has to do with how other people view you. And I I do recognize that a lot of the things that I go over on this probably stem from similar things, but I try to break it down a little bit more, a little bit more, just kind of, get it out of my head.
And so the thought is based off of a couple of things that I've read in the last few years and I've just kind of been thinking about it more and more. Because in therapy, we talk a little bit about ego and abstract thinking and motivations as well as, you know, things like impulsiveness and we talk about ADHD and, you know, if you just cover so many things.
And a lot of it comes from, like, your own understanding of yourself, and to apply a little bit of recall to this. When you look at life from the standpoint of, the only way to fail is to not show up, to not move forward, to not do the work, right?
So making a decision is the same as saying no or just choosing not to do it, right? Because the result is very much the same. So, I guess what I'm getting at is breaking down. Why are some people indecisive or why do some people hold themselves back or the case? It's and I I think a lot of it has to do with how we perceive ourselves and how we think other people perceive us.
So I guess, let's bring it down this way. Start with the just statement. I guess you can't control at least entirely how other people view you, or who other people think you are. So what I mean by that, is who you believe yourself to be is completely different than your parents, believe you to make.
It's different from who you're friends with. Believe you to be. It's different from your siblings. Believe you to be your co-workers, people who meet you on the street you know one time and a lot of people might think. Well yeah. And it has to do with how close a person is to you.
You know how? Well, they know you and I would say, yeah, maybe a little bit, but that would mean that understanding a person was almost entirely dilutionary. So the further away you were from then was the only factor that battered and knowing a person has to do with so many more things.
So all of your life's experiences are how you handle them. If every moment of every day needs to be how you view the world, your opinions, but what you think is right and wrong, they basically build who you are, all right? As a large piece of it and that influences how you think, how can you think?
Abstractly about something. If you've never experienced that thing and it's likely very difficult, unless you're a person who seeks out varying perspectives, very experiences, very opinions. And I don't think most people do that, especially in today's social media, and political environment, and napping the case, a person's understanding of you is only in part dilutionary.
It's also based on their experiences of what they think is, right? And how they, or raise their opinions and all those things. And so, what I'm getting at is, they're really isn't any point. There's no reason to be worried about who other people think you are because who you are to them, you will never be that person.
Not fully and it's not up to you to change their mind, you don't have to do that. All you have to do is continue to do what you believe to be, right, and consistent, and real, and true. And if this person thinks you are so far off, then it's on.
Then they're the ones who are going to be surprised, but then that's an experience for them, they will start to then, oh, their perspective might shift, they might learn something, they get to understand something better, all right? It's not up to you to change their mind, just up to you to continue to move forward, to do what you believe to be the right thing to take care of yourself, and the way that is most consistent with your goals and beliefs.
And the reason why I was thinking about this is because I think so many people make decisions or I guess. Yeah, make decisions. You know, they make decisions to do some things or to not do other things or they get paralysis by analysis because of how they think they will be, or are being perceived by another person.
Think that's really interesting. And in some cases, very silly, but in all cases, very interesting. And I think that because of what we were just talking about, you can't do anything about how a person perceives you to be not fully, you know, you can do the right thing and follow the customs and courtesies.
You can follow, you know, kind of rules to engagement if you will conversationally in the workplace. You know, what's the policy of procedure? You can follow those types of things and at least maintain an expectation that like you belong there, you're safe, like, you're the right person to be there, right?
You can do that. But you can't necessarily convince a person of who you are, what you are when you're about because they don't ever know. You know the way that you know you then you'll never know you the way they do. Does that make sense so far? It's just very interesting because it comes back to people making choices or the lack of choices, because of something that they have absolutely no control over today.
End up getting so worked up. They end up getting so annoyed or triggered or by the end. It's any of those things where they just get so worked up and it occupies so much of there, though so much of there, energy, so much of their stress is allocated to this thing that they have absolutely no control over to begin with.
Well, you said I think that's so interesting because logically you have no control. So why is that thought that someone might worry about, or someone might consider deep down the, this kind of goes back to a I didn't record about being a white belt and having beginners mindset. And I think that's where people might kind of fuck this up a little bit, and where it might start to occupy too much of there their brain space.
Mostly because if you allow yourself to be a beginner, right? Like we talked about, you get to make all the mistakes in the world. If you do it, fully knowing that most people aren't going to hold you, holy accountable to those mistakes, right? And what I mean is it's not going to be the end of you.
The expectation is typically very low in Europe, for beginners. So it's very safe to make mistakes. And when you think of it that way, right, you're using that time to master the basics, you've got to be very elite at a little things, a little, thanks being on time, right? Being getting all of your work done.
Not making excuses. Holding your mistakes, learning from your mistakes. Helping other people. You have finished your work.
These are all things that as a beginner. They don't really take any. They don't take any skill, they just take effort. And during that face, you have really excellent opportunities to master those things. And so if you do the white belt phase, right? Then you become a master at being a meter.
You become a master at the little things. You come to master the basics in, those are the things that ultimately you have control over, which are likely the most important thing to the other people around you. So I guess the question is, if you are having a hard time with what other people think about, you think you are in those things, you know, to determine whether or not that's warranted.
I would ask the question. Are you doing the little things properly? Are you doing? What do you say you're gonna do? Are you consistent? Are you on time? Are you thorough right? Are you getting all your work done? Are you making excuses? You know, all these things are really, really important.
When it comes to how a person perceives you at a base level. And if you are doing all those things properly, then everything else is just a culmination of their own experiences, opinions, you know, etc? Right? You only have control over the things that you can control and those things largely are unquestionable when they're done properly.
It's very obvious. When a person is on time. It's very obvious when a person is putting in full effort. It's very obvious when a person owns their mistakes. Excuse me. I just sneezed, huh?
It's really obvious when people do the little basic things. Well and it's really hard to not respect a person who does all those things especially with consistency. So I, you know, I kind of come back to if you can answer all those questions confidently that you effectively moved through the beginner phase, the white belt phase, and you do all of those things.
Well then I would say what the other things that people think about you or think you are, they don't matter at all. The only time that matters, if, it's affecting you and your decisions because again, you can only control yourself. So, if those thoughts, if that sort of issue is affecting your ability to make decisions, well, then it's not about the other people.
It's about you. Why is it so important that other people perceive you or understand you to be exactly who you think you are? Why is that so important? My guess would be that. That's an ego problem or a control problem, which I would probably recommend therapy. But also looking at yourself looking at the picture you know, internally of why those things matter to you.
How is it affecting you? Why is it affecting you that way?
If you don't know, you should probably look at it, she probably finds out because now you're sitting here and you're saying, oh shit. Yeah, that is a problem for me. So now you're aware of it and set out to do nothing about that issue. That's clearly causing you. A problem is a choice.
It's just like what we say all the time, right? You got to choose, there's a problem. You have to identify them. Once you identify that problem, we know about it, right? So if you don't do anything about it, you're opting in the suffering you're choosing the new nothing good way to fail or stay the exact same.
That's what you want. Go for it. That's great. That's not what you want. You're making a choice. You follow what? I'm getting at.
So wrapping this all up into kind of like a pretty bow, I guess. Maybe not like I rant a lot, so maybe it's never pretty. But knowing that and putting that all together, if you have a problem with how other people are perceiving you, or how other people, you know, who they believe you to be my challenge would be, how do you know that?
How do you know what other people are thinking? How do you know what other people are believing?
It's very likely a projection from you. You're very likely choosing for those people or that person because I promise you there is a very, very, very low likelihood that you know what another person is thinking. You might know what they're feeling. I feel the pickup on that. There's no chance.
I won't say no chance. There's very little chance. You know what they're thinking or why they're thinking that
Call them out on that. Is it gonna change their opinion? Right. It's likely just going to lead to discord. So what can you do? You can focus on yourself, you can figure out why that thing bothers you? Why do you care?
If it's bothering you so much, is there something that you know you're doing? You shouldn't be doing it. Is there something that you're not proud of?
Here's the insider tip here guys, if you're thinking that way and you're likely aware of a problem and you're just choosing to do nothing about it.
I'm not quite sure. I mean, this podcast would very well be turning into the mental health podcast. Starting to feel that way, but I thought it was like a business entrepreneurship podcast about where I was ready together, guys. So if you have no idea what we're doing here, but you're into it, know that I feel the exact same.
So, here we go.
But that's the point, right? It keeps circling back to the same concept or similar concept which is controlling. You can control largely. That is just you, if you control yourself, you'd probably be. All right, if you are totally absorbed in how other people perceive you, they believe you should ask yourself those questions.
How do you know what they're thinking? Why do you care? Is there a problem that you're aware of, but you're not doing anything about something you're not proud of, you got to take action at the end of the day. One of the things that we are, we talk about in the gyms has to do with priority and it has to do with the stories that people tell themselves.
Cheryl most people have seen those like memes that are supposed to be like this motivation memes and they largely lack a context and typically just polarize people, but that's fine. So you'll know what I'm talking about if you've seen those, but one of the things we talked about is when people provide us with reasons, as to why they don't hit their goals, why they aren't consistent, you know, whatever the case is, it's not about judging them.
It's not about us deciding what they should do, or what they want. It's always about trying to determine what it is that this person actually wants? What is it that they actually mean? And how can I help them help themselves? It's just being a guide. And so, people will say things, like I have no time to exercise and the refrain is that exercise isn't a priority for you.
Right. Now, a lot of times when people hear that, they'll be like, well, no, it is a priority. It's just difficult for me to get up in the morning because that's when I have all my free time. All right, that's good. We're working on solving this problem. We're identifying things that you are important to control of.
So the problem is that you don't have time. The problem is that mornings are difficult for you and getting up early is not something that you have done. Consistently as a result, your fitness has taken a vaccine. So now we've gotten to the root of this problem or at least, you know, we've started getting to the root of the problem, really good.
Because we've taken it from this person has taken zero ownership and it's completely outside of their control too, okay? There is a more definitive picture there is time. It's just not the most convenient time and it's not my favorite time or whatever the case is. All right, I can make a million scenarios here, but now we started to get into something that's more tangible, something that has to do with being more, in control of yourself and it applies for pretty much everything.
You can only control the things you can control. If you frame things in a way that are outside of your control and that's why you're failing, that's why things aren't going. Well that's why you're struggling, then it's very likely that you will continue to do that because it's very convenient, it's very easy to blame other things, other situations, other people, especially when you want something.
But you quote, unquote can't have it, it helps our ego to put it off as something that we have no control over. And then we stopped thinking about it and that's just the way it is. But that's why it's important to ask those questions and to try to dig down and see what's the actual problem here.
Even if it's a small piece, what piece can I control? One percent difference can be big if it's compounded over the course of a year. Yeah, lead one percent better today doesn't feel that hard doesn't feel that hard each day. At the end of the year. It's got a compound and it's gonna make a substantial difference for a person.
And so I'll probably end with this and say that, if you're struggling with things, as a result of how other people perceive, you understand that you're going to be a different person to every single person you meet for the rest of your life. And there's
It's not depressing or whatever. It's just a fact, you can't control other people that don't work. You're not in control. You're only in control of yourself and sooner that you can start to ask yourself the right questions and accept those things as facts. The sooner you're gonna get so much better sooner.
You're gonna feel so much better. You're gonna feel like you're in control. You're gonna be able to make choices and decisions based on your goals and desires. But you have to understand and like to move forward. If you want to identify you have to choose. Once you do that, it's gonna be so much easier.
That's what I've got for right now, guys. I'm gonna sign off now because I can probably just keep kicking this dead horse but it'll just be ranting and more ranting. It might devolve, it super knows what so we're gonna try to call for now. As always, this is The Marsette Perspective please do me the favor and follow the accounts on Spotify.
Give us a rating if you feel so inclined to do so subscribe if that's a thing, leave me a note, check in with me, ask me some questions. I really mean that I do want to hear from you guys. I genuinely appreciate the feedback as well as anybody who takes an amount of time to listen to any nonsense, I have this view so thank you for that.
Have a great day guys. Thank you so much.
00:11
What's up guys? It is Tuesday morning, I think. Yes, it's definitely Tuesday because yesterday was Monday. So now that we've cleared that up, that's good. Let's see what's going on. You know what I'm doing? I'm trying something new because I'm corny like that and mostly I just don't have a strong understanding of technology overall.
00:38
So what ends up happening is I tried to do things. And what I feel are the easiest way possible and usually turns out with me doing something, that makes me look like an old man and like, you know, grip my teeth and like, shake my fists in the air with regarding to technology and what I'm trying to do, trying to record a transcript of the podcast.
01:11
Because why not figure try but so far I've not been successful and for a number of reasons and then I yeah I got to try to figure it out later and that's a pain in the ass so I just haven't done it and was so I'm trying something new today and it is pretty ridiculous.
01:38
It is definitely like a super ghetto highly MacGyver type of situation. But let's see what happens. You know. Hope it works out. If it does then we'll go from there.
Otherwise, you know, I’m having a good day and anybody who's curious, my car is fine.
02:01
Whatever issue is plaguing, it seem to have been resolved with an oil change, which will likely give you. But inside look and my understanding of cars. So there's that. So, you know, I guess so far. We're learning a lot about me. Today is kind of just embarrassing overall but whatever, I'm not worried about it, but either way, I wanted to hop on and talk a little bit about something that I was thinking about pretty recently.
02:40
And it was a quote I saw that kind of made me think about a few different things. So I'll give you the quote and in some envy is the number one killer of passion and I'm paraphrasing because, you know, otherwise I'll butcher it if I try to do it verbatim.
03:11
But it made me think about that and it made me think a lot about kind of the, is it the culture? Or is it just kind of like, where society is right now? I'm not really sure. I'm not super willing to apply labels to it, mainly because I don't fully understand it.
03:35
I'm just kind of thinking out loud, so I guess that's what this is, right? Trying to figure it out. It made me think a lot about flex culture and people's inability to get along online when they have different opinions and I, I got to think about that. And the correlation was, you see?
04:06
All right? So flex culture is like it kind of got kind of coins. I think it was like the early 2000s and it was, you know, basically, when grandiose narcissism was highly acceptable online and in life, right? That's when we've talked about this before. People got really cool about really excited about the idea of like being a CEO like being a boss bitch and like that was like a big thing and so people started saying shit, like hustle rhymes, you know, never sleep, you know, work harder that kind of shit which I definitely subscribe to at least for in a at least like, 50%, I'd say.
05:02
And really what was happening is because of that people were self-promoting pretty aggressively and maybe that's in line with things like Instagram and Facebook and all that, I can't say for sure. But overall, I know that people started really pumping themselves up and, and, you know, patting yourself on the back and self-promotion, it started to become widely accepted and I noticed that that kind of turned into.
05:44
It kind of evolved over time and it kind of turned a little bit into virtue signaling. And what I mean by that is people started to get a little bit too comfortable. It wasn't about promoting yourself as much as it was about promoting things that you believed in that you thought other people wanted you to believe in and you see that a lot online.
06:17
And so, how does this all kind of like work into that quote of like, envy is the like, number one killer of passion? How does it work? Well, I personally think that communicating online is pretty terrible because it's really short-sighted. And most people are the greatest communicators verbally to begin with.
06:53
So when you eliminate context, you eliminate body language, you and you really just keep it short, you know, Twitter's a good example of like you only have so many characters that you can pump into a tweet and then you're only using two thumbs to do it, right? So it's like the shortest, most ineffective form of communication that there could be and that kind of carries over to a lot of other things.
07:24
So, you know, language or so. So the inability to like being in front of a person's body language, no contacts. Just kind of like flat statements and then also just people's understanding of polarizing frames or opinions, or words or anything like that. That's what drives interaction, that's what drives clicks.
07:52
So we've incentivized and gamified attention and so it kind of keeps going back into that thing. And you know, I'm taking the long way around here, so sorry about that. I guess knowing all of that and thinking of it in that way you come back to. Well what kind of person does that and what kind of person gets enraged by something that they see online?
08:27
What kind of person comments back on like a short statement with another definitive short antagonistic statement. And I have to imagine that a person like that probably is having some issues with. Maybe it's their confidence, maybe it's their self efficacy. Maybe it's jealousy. You know why that person feels so comfortable expressing themselves?
09:07
I got to shut that down. You know, “why is that person doing so well in life? But they're such an asshole. I’ve got to set this person straight. I've got to make sure other people know about this.” You know, I have to imagine that a person who does those things, you know, internally is feeling some kind of way.
09:30
And it, I don't know, it's just kind of sad, right? It makes me understand people and it doesn't make me mad. It kind of just makes me go, huh, like all right, I I understand you. I get it. And, you know, maybe they're trying to do the, you know, the attention seeking thing and like to lash out, but maybe, maybe they're not, maybe they're just trying to do what they think is right.
10:06
And so, basically, like they're trying to signal to other people that like, hey, I've called this person out, or right? I said, this thing, you know,
11:18
And I say that because I got two year old son own movies and one of the movies that I have seen for the first time pretty recently, was a movie called Inside Out that, I'm sure a lot of you have seen, especially if you have kids, but some of you might have just seen it because you just like cartoon movies, which is also cool because I also like cartoon movies.
11:52
So this works for me but you know the movie for people who haven't seen it is kind of all about this little girl who has grown up. And, you know, she's developing all these emotions and the emotions are the characters and how they kind of interact together and how it shapes her world and her experiences and all that.
12:17
And this movie was how I learned what discussion meant because I didn't realize that was an emotion. And basically, it means, you know, like something that irks you or you're disappointed in something or it bothers you, or you're just, you know, it's like it's so interesting because I didn't really know what that meant.
12:40
I knew what was discussed was with regard to like, oh, that's gross. I don't want to eat that or that looks gross, but I didn't think of it as a feeling. And so this movie taught me with that was and so so thinking of it in the form of like, you know, that you don't like something or it just like, gives you that like sick gut feeling or it's disappoints you or just like the, like it exhausts, you know, it's on I think of envy you know in that same hopefully am that's again, it's just an opinion.
14:06
It's just an observation but I think about who has time and energy to think about what everyone else is doing and thinking and saying and what they think about them and enough to like to outline something. So seriously I think of it the same way that I think of the news or honestly or think about politics.
14:34
I largely am not a politically driven person and mostly because I just think it's kind of like a zero sum game in a way and so hear me out. You know, if we live in the same community together, you know, we're together, we live in the same place, we share space.
15:04
We do all these things. We care about what happens in that community and I like to think that most people, you know, care about a lot of the same things they want to make sure that they're, you know, good jobs available. They want small businesses to do well.
15:20
They want to make sure that the air they breathe is clean. You know, they want to have trees and like activities. They want to be safe for their kids, they want everybody to have a similar opportunity, you know. They just want people to be good.
15:38
They want to have a good situation for everybody. You know, the people that they share their community with right that seems pretty straightforward to me. And I don't think most people would come outside of that. Maybe there's some specifics I'm missing but that's not the point now.
15:55
So that's what I think about the community. Now, when you go to a different angle, all right, and I'll wrap this all up into a nice bow, then I think about politicians, but I'll use, I'll use lawyers as an example. All right. So if so, you're getting into divorce, sorry, that's like a morbid thing.
16:20
But all right, so you're gonna get divorced and, you know, so you and your significant other, you hire a lawyer. Well, those two lawyers both represent you both individually and that makes sense, right? So, they're gonna fight for you, and they're gonna do the right thing for you.
16:43
But those two lawyers aren't against each other. Now, they have two situations that they represent that are in opposition to each other. You know, it is the worst case scenario, but they likely don't hate each other. They're probably not each other. They probably respect each other to some degree and they're part of the same fraternity, right?
17:11
They both passed the bar, they both have similar skill sets and knowledge. They likely respect each other, they probably share coffee and chat and so the point is that they're not against each other. They're actually like on the same side, just representing different portions, at that given moment.
17:32
And I think about politics in the same way, you know, just the same way that you and I might share our community and we care about all those things, a lot of politicians, share the same spaces, share the same backgrounds to most, for the most part similar degrees and similar experiences they work together.
17:56
Each day, they might represent different areas, different policies but they likely don't hate each other. They likely collaborate far more often than you think, especially over politics. I always just think that that is the silliest thing in the world because people are out here hating each other for like the craziest reasons, they're being divided by politics.
18:30
They're being divided by the media, but all those people are in the same boat and they share the same environment, they share the same community, and they don't hate each other, and they're not trying to ruin each other. They're likely behind closed doors, sharing space, collaborating, working, together, bouncing ideas off each other.
18:53
They want things somewhere. They want a good working environment, they want good beaches, they want. They want to be taken care of, too. They want all those good things out of their community so they stay together and we get divided. That's a little bit of a rant just politically, but the point is, I, I don't see a person who commits that much energy to hating or, you know, maybe not hating, but putting so much energy into like fighting with another person, you know, online or all that stuff at being able to commit the energy and the same level of intensity to what their passionate about.
19:45
And maybe this is a little bit abstract. You know, it definitely certainly is but when you zoom out and then come back into the original quote, which is the again a paraphrasing and the is of the number one killer of passion to me. I can very easily say and commit to it, you can say pretty much anything you want, whether it's online, whether it's, in a blog or in a podcast.
20:29
And until I get a couple of other opportunities for context, it's very likely that I will not hate you or even care that much because people make mistakes and they do dumb shit. And I'm not gonna put all of my energy into crying about it, I guess and maybe that's a little bit harsh but it's just really how I feel because I'm interested in so many things.
20:59
I have so many other passions and my own personal drive is way too strong and my mind, you know, it's too attached to like, my who I believe I am. As a person that if I were to take any of that extra energy and put it towards, anything is like gross as like having to like flex, it hard, or having to virtue signal to other people, or having to like correct other people for their quote, unquote, poor behavior or their incorrect opinions or any of that shit.
21:50
I just don't think I'd be able to do all the things that I'm interested in at the level that I expect myself to do. I can see that very easily. Killing my passion. I just don't know how a person can allow something to infuriate them, or even just trigger them in a way that is gonna push them and distract them from what they actually care about. That makes no sense.
22:31
It's just, it hit me pretty hard when I saw that I was just thinking like, man, so interesting. How much sense does that make, and how much we talk about? Mental health, especially in today's world. And they did, they just kind of kept coming back to understanding yourself, and accepting the realities of what's in front of you.
23:06
So that way you can make decisions from areas of factual information. What I mean by that is if you know, it could be, it could be simple, you know? Occam's razor, as simple as the solution, is often the correct one. If you know that you're that person and you know that you're unhappy and you know that you're not doing the things that you wish you were doing but you're also spending a fucked ton of time online, maybe you should stop doing that, maybe you should, maybe you should get off Instagram, maybe you should get off Facebook.
23:53
Maybe you should get off TikTok or literally any other thing. If every time you watch the news, you're pissed off and it just gets you. Riled up gets you in a bad mood, makes you hate your fellow man or disgusted with your fellow man. Maybe you should stop watching the news or maybe you should find a new way to consume the news.
24:22
Maybe the current medium you're using isn't good for you. Maybe it doesn't work for you. Well, I think about that stuff. And it really comes back to some things that I've touched on a few other times with regard to being, ready to hear the information being in a place where you can hear something and accept it rather than just sit back and deny it, you know, because I get it, it's really easy to be like that's bullshit.
25:00
Like, of course, that's what everybody says, get offline. Blah, blah, blah. But like, I don't know the problem, it's fine, it's a big deal. Well, one you something you drug addicts. But hey, if you're not ready to hear that right now, that's okay. That's on. You know, people take the time, they take to find themselves and to get ready.
25:29
Unfortunately, some people never live up to their potential. And I mean, I personally, I don't think that's okay, but it's, it's okay for some people, people's interests change. They do other things, they find new things that they're passionate about, that might be more attainable, or easier, or whatever the case is, I'm not saying it's bad.
25:59
And that's your life, then do it, do what makes you happy? But that's not what this is about. This is about identifying the things that are killing you, your passion that are draining your energy that are causing you fatigue and anger. If you know what those things are and you know that they're toxic for you, you know, that's kind of part of the deal.
26:33
That's how it works. If you're a drug addict, if you have a problem with addiction, one of the first things that you're supposed to do, is to remove yourself from your current environment, you can move forward and you can't change if you're surrounded by the same thing that trigger those same habits, if you're an alcoholic and you stop drinking, but you still want to hang out with your friends and they all hang out at the bar.
27:14
It's really likely that you're gonna keep drinking, you have a much better chance of succeeding and you know the abstinence from drinking is the same thing for smoking cigarettes, right. If you want to stop smoking cigarettes, but you know, every time you drink you smoke, maybe you should stop drinking, maybe you should stop going to the bar.
27:50
You have to look at things from that perspective. And people don't respect that in the same way. You know, they look at, you know what, people are addicted to drugs. People are addicted to cigarettes when people have alcohol problems. Even gambling problems are looked at more highly by people.
28:14
Don't look at it. When you have a social media problem, nobody respects that not enough to take it. Seriously, let me tell you anger is addictive, you know, anxiety, and you know that funnel is just like being sad and being angry or being jealous or triggered. It's very addictive.
28:52
And if you're weapon of choice is Instagram. A good place to start. Might be to get off Instagram and see if you notice a difference. And so why am I attacking Instagram? I'm attacking Instagram because it's convenient, and it's in my mind and I don't think so. I guess a lot of people still use Facebook, but for their last earnings report, it's definitely duentling.
29:32
But the point is, If you know, the things that are absolutely killing you, your passion and you know, it's associated with envy and discussing and installing those different feelings. Maybe you should remove yourself from that environment and start working on and trying to do the things that you actually care about.
30:08
You actually are interested in what you actually love. You're actually passionate about doing that. I'm willing to bet you will be a lot happier. Well, in the bet that you'll have a much more positive outlook on the world. Well, in the bet that you won't be. So mentally distressed all the time.
30:38
People like to accomplish things. And the fact is it's harder to accomplish things when you're tired and stressed and worn down. And, and the more that you engage in, these behaviors that are contributing to envy or discussion, or anxiety, or anger or anything. Any of those things, the more, the more you engage in those behaviors or those mediums, it's gonna wear you down.
31:19
It's gonna make everything harder, you know, I just, I just think about that and it makes me a little bit, makes me a little bit sad, you know what? I think about it. But you know, you got to move forward. You can't save everybody. You can just put out what you can put out, I guess.
31:47
You know, I, I don't know who might value my opinion on these things and it's fine. Nobody has to, you know, and I don't think that necessarily matters as much as I think that if you want to be happy that you deserve to be, but if you keep doing the same shit that makes you unhappy all the time, then you're choosing unhappiness.
32:23
So, you know, I guess the moral of this story, like many other of my stories is choose, make a choice. Do the work and figure you shit out. That's all I've got for now guys. So I'll leave you with that. Maybe I'll see you later. Have a great day. And remember this is the bar set perspective.
32:57
You know, do something guys. Bye