Ser más asertivos

0:00 Bombax, why the affective relationships I have are not stable. I like assertiveness, why it invites us to prudence that what should motivate our word is always love is You and that is already the basis to go out to conquer many goals, to fight, to give a better version and enjoy life fully. You know, if we want to be happy, we need to learn to be assertive, that is, we need to develop that ability to communicate our needs, our opinions, our emotions in a clear, direct and respectful way, without being passive or unaggressive, that is, to be able to set limits to defend our rights and be able to express our point of view without invading others, without harming others many times we stop communicating our needs, our opinions and our emotions, for fear of being rude, for fear that other

1:30 people will distance themselves from us, for fear that others will break the link we have with them. Today I want to tell you that to be happy, that to have good relations with others, assertiveness is required, firmness is required, no shame is required for what I feel, for what I am, for what I live. Yeah, it' s that clear and simple from psychology, how can we be more puzzled. I' d like to offer you five keys to that. The first is self- awareness. We need to know ourselves, what we have been told since the time of Socrates Know yourself or from dolphins. It is essential that each of us understand who he is. Be aware of the moment in which you are, be aware of the purpose that holds you, but also know what are the values, that is, those inner forces that constantly drive you to know, what are the needs, what is needed in the heart, what is needed in the

3:00 ode life that we do not have and, obviously also know our emotional patterns, how are our reactions to the different stimuli that we receive. When you don' t know who you are, you don' t know how to defend yourself When you don' t know who you are, you don' t know how to set limits. When you don' t know who you are, you' re even afraid that others will leave you, that others will break that relationship with yourself, then the first thing is self- consciousness. You know yourself, you accept yourself, you love yourself, you are clear about your values, your strength, your abilities, and you are also clear about your needs. That' s fundamental to being assertive. Secondly, I think we need to learn to communicate effectively clearly. We need to do exercises to know, to say what we' re feeling, what we' re thinking. Yes, we need to be people who clearly communicate their ideas, their emotions, and we do so when we are clear, concrete, concise. I like those three six to talk about. We have to be clear, we have to be concrete, we have to be concise, always

4:35 using a positive language, a constructive language, a language that shows that we are going forward and that we are confident and believe in what we are and what we can do. And look, you have to communicate avoiding those unnecessary apologies. Sometimes we are justifying ourselves again and again without need. Sometimes we give power to others over our life when we begin to justify ourselves, when we begin to apologize for something that has nothing wrong, that simply characterizes us, that simply shows us who we are. Then, please, we must work on clear communication, looking into the eyes, with dignity, with firmness, without assault, without respect, but making it clear that we believe that our truth is valid and necessary. The third key is to have a firm stance. One cannot be a vane that moves under the pressure of the blowing breeze. We don' t have to be pleasing others to be happy.

5:55 We don' t have to make other people' s expectations our life map. We don' t need character. We need to be firm, listen to others with attention, with openness, with welcome, but without letting ourselves be intimidated, without letting ourselves be cornered by their opinions or their demands. We need to be convinced that the truth in our heart is valid and drives us, and then we don' t have it. Why walk with a physical posture of someone self- absorbed, someone afraid, someone who does not want to communicate, someone who does not look at the eyes, let alone enter into those expositions of our insecure ideas where we can' t cancel and where we are not able to spin clear and concrete answers or phrases. Here one more key, you need to learn to say no. I think this has to do with our training. We were made to believe as children that we had to please adults and that we had to accept the requests of adults and please them. I remember one day one of my sisters would say to my nephew," hey, but give this aunt a kiss and he didn

7:28 ' t want to. And I told her that he knows, that he can say no, that he knows can say no. Don' t be afraid to refuse a petition. If you feel that it is not right, if you feel that it is an abuse, if you feel uncomfortable, hear or simply do not have how to realize it, but firmly, clearly, with respect, but you are not obliged to please others. That' s right, not that one. You can communicate it properly. And when I say right, I say politely, without giving excessive explanations with the firmness of those who love themselves, of those who value themselves. Now all this in a spiritual experience that empowers you. I insist a lot on the spiritual experience that makes you feel valuable, that makes you feel capable, that makes you feel like a person with so many possibilities. I don' t like religious experiences that lead to deconstructing your image, destroying your self- esteem. Not that it is a spiritual experience in which you know that your life makes sense and that you can flow and that you can be happy and that you can find many wonderful experiences. Check these keys, calmly, with serenity, because

9:03 you have to be assertive in your relationship as a couple, in your working relationship with your friends. You have to be assertive. You' re not a wimp. You' re not a wimp. You have a project to realize, a dream to realize and many skills that drive you to it. Hey check it out I ask you one or one of these keys that are taken from experience, from psychology and from spirituality. Cheer up you can. Thank you for being with us, Thank you for sharing this podcast, which is a simple reflection that we put on our channel, in Spotify, Dizer, on Apple, on Amazon, on all platforms you know Boom Buck