The Art of Gender Neutrality: Niki J. Borger's Journey Through Life and Death

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Living the Dream Podcast with Curveball. If you believe, you can achieve.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Welcome to the Living the Dream with Curveball Podcast, a show where I interview guests that teach, motivate, and inspire. Today I am joined by international writer, actor, and producer, Nikki J. Bolger. Nikki is known for her original plays at the Extravaganza Theater in Los Angeles, California. She is also known for her award-winning short film, Because I Could, and A Portrayal of Solo Suicide, and her personal transformation show, Unlimit Yourself. So we're going to be talking to Nikki about her plays and films and show and everything that she's up to and gonna be up to. So Nikki, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Hi, thank you so much for having me. This is such a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Why don't you start off by telling everybody a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Well, I am originally from Europe. I lived in the US for the last eight years. I uh let's see what else is there. I speak four languages, I care a lot about um different cultures and different points of view, and I try to put that caring into my storytelling because I think we grow from contrast if we use it in the right way. And growth is the most human and normal thing possible, and and so I like to you know use stories to inspire that, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Yeah, you definitely are a storyteller. So so speaking of stories, let's talk about the story in between. Talk about that and uh what inspired it.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Well, in between, uh subtitle is A Gender Neutral One-Act Plays Between Life and Death. So in between is a set of one-act plays that are all interrelated, so they kind of like form one big arc, and they all take place in those liminal spaces between life and death. So just before you're born, or just before you die, or you know, in those moments when it could go either way. And I was inspired to write these stories from my own experience with death, which was very intense over the last eight years or so. I uh suddenly lost my mother tragically to an accident in uh 2019. And starting with that, I spent the following years leading up to February of this year nursing and caring for various dying parents or grandparents. I lost my stepdad, my mother-in-law, all my grandparents, and my biological father during that time frame, and I had to nurse three of them through severe sickness and then the end, right? So that um triggered a lot of fear, a lot of pain, a lot of grief, obviously, more than anything, and it made me question what does it actually mean to be alive? What does it mean to die? What makes uh life good? What brings purpose? How does love come into all of this? And after, you know, with a lot of meditation, a lot of sitting with it, a lot of discussions with these people made me change my beliefs of how I see things and find a place of more calm and peace and understanding, with death just being a natural part of life. And so I took these beliefs and put them in stories that I thought would be, you know, interesting to watch, but also beneficial and hopefully bringing a level of peace to the people who are reading or seeing them.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Well, why did you choose to make your characters gender neutral?

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Gender neutral? There's two reasons for that. First one being that I am a woman, and it bugs me a lot that the vast majority of characters in film on stage in TV are still men. And that's pretty significant. Like for stage, I think it's it's at least two-thirds to four-fifths of male of male characters as compared to female, let alone, you know, um, transgender roles or non-binary or anything like that. And um, but at the same time, I don't want to rule anybody out. And with these topics of life, death, grief, these are universal. These will happen to everybody. There is no sociological, political, um, societal aspect to this that makes it relevant to do gender-accurate storytelling because it is the same for everyone. And as it's the same for everyone, I felt like I can go ahead and I'm gonna make my characters gender neutral so that every actor who resonates with them can portray those roles and is not limited by something that is completely irrelevant to the storytelling here.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Well, why does in-between have very few stage directions?

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Um, same, it's a similar point here, which I felt like um by giving a lot of stage directions, I'm limiting the creativity and ideas that the director or the actress may have on how they want to portray these liminal spaces. And now none of us know what the space actually looks like. Where do we go after we die? I don't believe that it's uh hellfire and and uh you know everything just being awful. I I also don't believe that it's uh clouds or you know, just clouds in the sky, but that's just my beliefs, and other people may believe something different. So I wanted to leave that open to the artist's interpretation and that way create the opportunity for creative collaboration so they can make these stories their own and find their way that really resonates with them, which will in turn resonate with their audiences.

SPEAKER_01 6:51

Speaking of collaboration, how do you view the creative collaboration between writer, actor, and director?

SPEAKER_02 6:58

I think each of them has their part to play, and each part is really valuable. And I think the more you find a common language and the more the more you actually manage to collaborate, I think the better the production will be, not just in the process, but also the show itself.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

Well, let's talk about your award-winning short films because I could and a portrayal of a of a subtle suicide, you know, kind of tell us about that. What what inspired that and uh, where we can check it, check them out at.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Uh well, you can't check them out anymore. I took them down. Um, because I did these a long time ago, right? So I came to Los Angeles in 2018, late of 2018. I went to school for about a year. And uh, well, it was eight months technically, and during those eight months, I shot 40 short films, which means on average, I did one and a half shorts per week on top of class and everything else. And uh, as an international, I needed um shorts in the festival circuit to prove that I'm good at what I'm doing. But ultimately, out of those 40 shorts, nobody submitted to festivals, even though they promised me that they would. So I was really upset about that. And uh I went ahead and wrote three short films myself and shot two. Uh, that was at the end of 2019, and then the pandemic hit. So I actually went ahead, had the time to edit them and do post-production for them, and then got them into the festival run. And a lot of the festivals were canceled at that time because of the pandemic, but the ones that took place were mostly virtual, and I was actually able to attend the award ceremonies, which was super cool. Like my short film because I could was nominated for best short film at the Kuala Lumpur Echo Film Festival in uh Malaysia. And the this is such a prestigious event in that part of the world that the Malaysian Crown Prince was the guest of honor at the award ceremony, and he gave a speech for us nominees, highlighting our contribution, not just in an artistic but also in a society, societal relevant um aspect. Um, so that was super, super cool. And uh yeah, and I got a bunch of awards for my shorts, um, even though it was my first time writing and producing. Um, so I was really happy about that, and I got a talent visa after that, which you know that's not the only thing that goes into a talent visa to the US, but it is a part of what goes into a talent visa.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Well, congratulations on that.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Talk about how your acting background influenced the writing of In Between.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

So, as I said, a huge part of it is that I'm frustrated of being uh typecast, and I uh um don't like it. I think it's very limiting for everybody to uh to typecast because stories are not black and white. Life is not black and white, right? Uh life, all of us experience things in life that we thought would never happen. And uh so I'm uh strongly leaning towards um giving a role to the person that does the best job. And that is derived from my experience as an actor of being limited, very limited in the type of roles that I can apply to, right? There's very few lead roles for women, and the ones that are are still like written in addition to a male character, like serving the male character to make him look better. Um, or they're very stereotypical and limited. There's very few productions, especially in the lower budget sector, where people are just starting out, where there are characters that I resonate with and I I vibe with. And there's a chance that this may be a similar experience for the male actors. I couldn't tell because I haven't looked at this in depth so much. And again, I'm I'm not on run here for you know um forcing anything. Um, but by opening up most of my characters to be cast gender neutral, it's simply the best person gets a job. And uh and then you in my experience so far in my projects, I get diversity naturally from that. And it works itself out, and I'm able to create amazing ensembles like right now with my TV show Um NFTs, which is in pre-production. I am so, so, so happy with the ensemble that we created out of the 6,000 submissions. And I wouldn't have had that awareness if I didn't have my strong acting background before that. It also helps with other things. I can, you know, check more specifically what I'm looking for in a story or in a production. I write my characters with a lot more liberty when it comes to superficial details such as what they're wearing or what they're doing, but with a lot more clarity on what's going on underneath, like what is really driving them, what are they about? Are they trying to prove their worth? Are they acting from an old wound or something? So I do think because I have done so much character work that I can take my characters further than what is common and average, and I can make them more authentic and hence more interesting to watch. At least that's what I'm hoping.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Well, let's talk about your personal uh transformation uh show. You know, the uh a portrayal of a subtle suicide. Kind of tell us about that and what it what inspired that.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Oh, so portrayal of a subtle suicide was one of the two award-winning short films. My personal transformation show was called Unlimit Yourself. And what I did. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

I got it backwards. Sorry about that.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

No worries at all. I uh what I did is I invited uh people that felt stuck in a certain area of their life, like they could not get ahead. For example, weight loss, um, relationships, finding a partner in their career, making more money, um, aspects, things that we're all struggling with to some extent. And I invited coaches to do an actual breakthrough session with them and to record that so people can see what it's like. Now, a breakthrough session is when you uncover the hidden limiting beliefs, the um, how would you say this, the hurt or negative emotions, and the self-sabotaging behavior. And those three things go hand in hand. So we always have a belief, a feeling, and a pattern, a behavior that goes together, those three. And in a breakthrough session, you uncover all three and then shift them towards something better. And we did that and recorded it because I felt it would take away people's fears in dealing with their own, you know, issues and where they're stuck when they see someone else go through it. And then the person who went through the transformation, they would record their changes for about two weeks after that, three weeks sometimes, and record self-tapes and that sent then those to us. Then I would edit a compilation of what actually changed. And those changes were absolutely phenomenal. It was so cool to see how every single one of the people we had in the show just skyrocketed from that one, you know, 20, 30 minutes um meditation or whichever type of work it was that the coach provided to shift the limitation. So yeah, that was really good. Great, but it was a lot of editing work, and I'm not a huge fan of editing. So um, and then also other work came in. I got busy with other projects, so I only did one season of Unlimit Yourself.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Well, tell us about any upcoming projects that you're working on that listeners need to be aware of.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Well, the coolest thing I'm doing right now is my upcoming sitcom series. It's called NFTs, as in teasing, and it's about three college graduates who want to get their NFT business going, but it's not going well. And they get one last chance to make it happen by collaborating with a group of influencers, only to find out that they're actually only fan stars. So the show is about very nerdy people that have to get along with very sexy people, and obviously that creates a lot of conflict, drama, and confusion. Um, we finished casting the show. We're about to launch our audience-building social media phase here in the next couple of weeks, where we will introduce all the characters on social media, and you will get to see those characters and who they are and what they do and how they interact before we even shoot the shell. So I'm super excited about that because I think it's such a cool approach to storytelling and to, you know, involving the audience in it. And I have an amazing cast that I could not be more excited about. Genuinely, we did cast them out of 6,000 submissions, so that was a lot of work. And yeah, it's gonna be uh NFTs is gonna be everywhere, I'm pretty sure of it. So I'm really excited.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

Well, so people can keep up with everything that you're up to, throw out your contact info.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

Well, the easiest way where you find everything is my webpage, nikki jborger.com. Um, and you can also find me under that name on pretty much every social media that like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn, you name it. And that's where I post on my on my profile page, I post all the projects that I'm currently working on. And then you can go from there.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

All right, we'll close us out with some final thoughts. Maybe if that was something I forgot to talk about that you would like to touch on. Any final thoughts you have for the listeners?

SPEAKER_02 17:57

No, I got I got I just wanted to say again that I love listening to you. You have such a beautiful melody in your voice. And I wish you would have talked more in this, so I could have listened to you more, but I may just have to check out more episodes of your podcast.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Yeah, yeah, you you definitely gotta do that. Uh I always tell my guests to show us about them, you know, not about me. So I just kind of facilitate it and get you guys stories out there because they are amazing. And uh, you know, thank you for joining once again and listeners, you know, keep up with everything that Nikki's up to. Nikki J Boger.com and you know, follow her, check out her stuff. She's amazing and she does some amazing work. I would also like you to check out more episodes if you haven't done so at www.curveball337.com. Please be sure to share the website and the show to everybody that you know. Get as many people as possible signed up for the newsletter to keep up with all things living the dream. Thank you for listening and supporting the show. And Nikki, thank you for all that you do, and thank you for joining me.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Thank you so much for having me. It's been such a pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

For more information on the Living the Dream with Curveball Podcast, visit www.curveball337.com. Until next time, keep living the dream.