June 30, 2026

That Which We Resist Persists - Energy, Emotion, and the Art of Letting Go

That Which We Resist Persists - Energy, Emotion, and the Art of Letting Go
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Dr. Doug and medical intuitive Peggy Oberthier explore why acknowledging our feelings — rather than pushing past them — is the quiet key to releasing what no longer serves us. From stuck energy to soul-level authenticity, this conversation gently invites you back to yourself. https://www.peggyo.com.au/

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WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling,

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professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services

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of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to do the same.

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Hegg you welcome to the show. Hi.

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Yeah, my name is Peggy Overtha and I'm a medical

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intuitive or energy intuitive and I'm based in Melbourne, Australia,

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and I have been doing this work for a few

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years now. I only discovered these intuitive gifts through a

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reading of I had about a couple of years ago.

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And I get to work with clients every day and

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help them discover their own intuitive gifts as well. And

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I do that online and I work in groups and

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about to launch a mentorship to teach people how to

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enhance their own intuitive gifts.

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Well, that's great, let's talk about that, because I think

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that so many people don't understand what it is to

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be able to be intuitive, to have that ability to

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understand other people. And it can be at a very

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small level. And obviously what you've been able to tap

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into with the gift that you've received.

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Is at a very high level.

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So what is it that people are able to tap

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into that energy of another individual and have that empathic

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or intuitive capability to be able to understand perhaps what

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they're thinking, what their challenges are, and so forth. I

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think it's a unique ability, and yet I think that

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people don't understand that they can tap into it, even

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for themselves.

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Yeah, it's so true, and a lot of people don't

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realize they are intuitive. I guess for me, the way

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I look at it as like analogy, is that there's

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the cloud or the stream of consciousness or source however

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you want to call it, and all this information is

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held in the cloud, and I just get emails. I

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think that's the analogy that I like to use. Now

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some people have so my intuitive abilities came in as knowings.

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But when because I'm very curious and I read a

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lot of books, sometimes the information will come in. I thought,

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oh no, I've read that in a book, or I

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can see the pattern, or I understood the pattern. So

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there are people that have pattern recognition abilities. But that

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is actually part of your intuitive gifts. Of gifts come

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you know, people call it your third eye. It is

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your connection to the you know, the energy that is

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the quantum field as we were speaking before, right, So

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it's energy is neither created or destroyed. So I just

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have the capacity and most every Honestly, I would like

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to believe that a lot of people do to be

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able to tap into someone's energy, and I'm just the

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only thing I can do, though, is if you are

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allowing me to help you understand your soul. I can't

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just you know, go in a room and go he's

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like this, and he's thinking that he's thinking that it's

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an exchange. So when I start talking to someone all

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of a sudden that they might open up and then

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I start getting all this information that will come in

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and I can see like you know, you reached out

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to me and ask me if I wanted to be

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and I could. I saw your picture and I thought,

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oh wow, this guy has beautiful energy. I could I

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could feel your energy. I could feel the sense that

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you have a big heart space and that you have

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your own intuit abilities. Like that was something that came through.

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So it is the capacity to understand that your wisdom

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is not just the experiences that you have from this lifetime.

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It is the wisdom that you carry from through your DNA,

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through past lives, through your connection to source or divine God.

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You know, there is this cloud of information where all

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the everyone's I guess, the all knowing of information that's

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existed on earth. It's all there. And when you have

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your open heart, you're acting from your pure authenticity and

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you want to be in divine creational service. That information

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comes in a little bit more easy, but you can't.

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You have to start. You can't just it. Some people

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just comes in, but you've really got to sit in

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meditative practice. Sometimes you just start to find tune in.

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I mean that's another topic, right. So it comes in

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as it can come in as a knowing, which is

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your clear cognizance. It can come in as visuals. Some

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people get those visualizations understanding very quickly the big picture

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and the pattern That's another sort of gift that people have.

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They take vast amounts of information and just get a

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patterns very very quickly, and also feeling and sensing what

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other people are feeling and sensing. So you get this

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clear sentiences like inside your body. So when I'm tuning

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into a client, sometimes I will get I will get

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a twinge in my left hip and I'll go, ooh,

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is your left hip sore? And they say yes, So

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there's this mirror neurons that are this thing that's happening,

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which is scientifically proven what you're feeling. I'm feeling as well.

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And then the process through the session would be for

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me as I'm trying to calm my nervous system down

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and I'm holding a particular frequency, that person is just

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tuning into my frequency and that helps them release and

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vibrate at a particular level to help release what's no

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longer serving them well.

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And you know, you talk about what's no longer serving them.

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So as you work with people, what do you find

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is happening to them from a standpoint of you know,

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I interviewed someone just the other day and it was

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so true because I've actually experienced this where our health

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is so dependent on the energy that exists within us,

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and oftentimes some of that negative energy can affect our

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health so far beyond what we really understand. And also

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from what I can understand is sometimes when you can

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correct that, you start to see a healing process occur.

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And as you said, you.

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Know, when we get into this concept of quantum field

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and so forth, scientifically they are showing that it is

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really valid. So we're starting to see science validate many things.

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But what is it? What is it that causes people.

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To start to feel ill health in your experience and

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are there some major reasons or is it all across

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the board for people?

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That's a great question. It is. It can be complex

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and could also be simplified. I mean, for me, what

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I see when I tune into people's bodies a lot

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of time is stuck emotion. We have a society that

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hasn't really been able to allow and express feelings in

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a way that's valid without sort of building shame. And

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then also then even if we're let's say we express

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our anger we might have judgment or resistance about that anger.

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Then that creates even more energy, trapped energy. So it

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was really interesting. So when I see the there's actually

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some studies that prove this, Like when you speak out

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loud your feelings and you say I'm feeling sad, So

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I can see the energy come off someone when they

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just say that. It's like this vocal energy release that happens.

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And if we allow ourselves to express our feelings exactly

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as they are before rationalizing, before intellectualizing, there can be

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an energetic release. So a lot of people who have

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perhaps gone through traumatic experiences, they might have gone through

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therapy where they're talking through the whole thing, but the

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energy still might be caught in wherever it is it

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gets caught. I see patterns like you see a lot

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of digestive issues are really around the sense of shame, guilt, powerlessness,

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thyroid is a lot of trapped you know, frustration, unexpressed emotions.

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I see all that stuff in the throat chakra. Some

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people just you know, they have to hold back their

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truth all the time they had. They're very authentic, but

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they live in a world where you know, it's it's

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not it's difficult to be authentic or you know you've

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been taught, you know, be good, be kind, so you

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hold back. And it doesn't mean that you have to

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walk around giving truth bombs to everybody and being really

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mean and over assertive or whatever. It's just that if

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you felt frustrated from an exchange of talking with somebody

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who's just not nice, you have to then you have to.

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It's really powerful to say, oh God, that was frustrating,

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and you're just driving in your car and you say,

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oh my god, she just irritated me. And I'm going

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to let that go now, and I'm going to just

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I might send her some love or something because I'm

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having compassion for her in her situation. Like that's sort

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of the really evolved way of coming from an exchange

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like that, where you're feeling frustrated, You express how you're feeling,

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which is valid, but then you just let it go right,

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you try to release it, and then that energy is

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not stuck anymore. So I see stuck emotions. See I

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see subconscious programming that happens between zero to seven. So

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these limiting beliefs around not feeling lovable, I mean, you

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know that concept of getting of under feeling like you

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are lovable. It happens between the ages like you know,

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zero to seven and how many times of our parents

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have said to us, all of our behavior is tied

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to like what we're doing rather than just who we

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are inherently. So we all have a lot of us

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have had this skewed understanding of like, I'm only lovable

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if I do something, if I perform a certain way,

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if I look a certain way. So we get tied

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to those external recognition of self worth, and then when

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they don't happen, we feel bad about ourselves. So there's

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like the shame and self loathing. And the worst case

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scenario is when you know obviously you've had abusive caregivers.

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I see those as really stuck limiting beliefs and patterns

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and looping thoughts of I'm not worthy, I'm not lovable,

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I'm stupid, I'm you know, those kinds of things that

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they really get stuck in the body as well. And

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they can if you're not processing your shame, if you're

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not processing your sadness, your anger, that stuff gets stuck

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in the body. And I see a lot of a

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lot of digestive issues, uh, you know, lower limb issues. Yeah,

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a lot of the chronic pain that can't be explained

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by an injury. And that that's what I see now,

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what I see people really being able to release this tension.

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So within within a session, you know, when we when

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we start to unpack, Okay, there's this anger stuck in

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see too, let's and I can see okay that happened

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when you're something out when you were five, and they say, oh, yeah,

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this happened, and then we just say, well, you're allowed

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to feel that anger. We express that anger, and we

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hold that five year old in your heart space, we

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release it like they're doing all the work. I'm just

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holding this vibration and then oh they said, oh my

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pain has gone out of my neck. So it's pretty

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pretty cool when that happens because it's just literally just

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the energy just leaves as you express well.

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And you know what I find interesting too, and we

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want to talk to you about this is that you know,

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we experience life and you actually said it, and you

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know as you were talking that you know this whole

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concept of I need to do versus I need to

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be and and you know, as I as I was

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working with small businesses, when I was doing some business consulting,

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I would use this, you know, I would talk about

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and it's a universal concept of you know, what are

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the key indicators of what's going on. Let's look at

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what's going on and if you see that you're not

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reaching where you want to be, what things do we

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need to change? And it seems to me that as

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we experience life, that we can literally look at our

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life as key indicators.

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In our life.

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And if we're not experiencing that happiness, that clarity, that joy,

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all of that type of thing, then there's something going

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on energetically within us that is creating that reality for us.

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And you know, you talk about past lives. I'm I

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haven't thought about that that I'm not going to get into.

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I'd love to chat.

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It's not that I disagree, but.

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I think that DNA and you know, I think that

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the DNA people don't understand the DNA memory within their

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bodies has a history going back so many hundreds of

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thousands of years, and sometimes that can poke up and

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we cannot understand why I have this feeling, and you know,

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and yet it's DNA and it goes from hundreds of

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years ago and now it's poking its head up and

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creating an issue for us. So I think I want

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to talk a little bit about how we can experience

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a better life and how we can gain clarity into

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our lives when we realize that, you know what, I

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don't like what's going on right now in my life.

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I keep having these experiences that are not great, and

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I'm not happy.

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And so for you know, they tend to be a

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victim mode.

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They tend to blame everybody else or circumstances or whatever,

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rather than being able to take the responsibility to say,

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you know what, there's some energy within me that's got

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to change.

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Yeah. It is one of the hardest things for people

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to shift is the victimhood. And again I think that

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comes through the DNA, because we have these really strong patterns,

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ancestral patterns of suffering, self sacrifice and martyrdom and victim

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hunt and you know, and some of our religious you know,

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discussion or religious programming is we are rewarded for being

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a martyr, we are rewarded for suffering. It's like this

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selfless service. Right. So it's a fine line because I

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don't think the message about selfless service was at the

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cost of our own health, you know. And I think

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that you know the Bible because I grew up Catholic.

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I mean, I don't think Jesus ever wanted us to,

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you know, give to the point where we are then

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all of a sudden, we have an immune you know,

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an autoimmune disorder. Like it's like, you know, you have

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to love your sell first and really make sure that

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your oxygen mask is on you before you're putting your

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oxygen mask on. And I don't think that message is

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really put out enough, right, So part of the part

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of that release is understanding that those thoughts that you're

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having that are looping those belief patterns, that's not true.

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That's not your true I am, those are just constructs.

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That is that has got nothing to do with your soul.

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That is, your soul is just pure love and authenticity.

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That's what your soul wants you to express, your authentic

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self of just being exactly as you are. And if

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you your soul is perfect, right, you're you know, you're

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you are a perfect expression of love. And you have

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all of these experiences that try to make you think

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that you're not. And the goal of this lifetime is

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to remember that you're actually you are perfect just the

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way you are, if you if you bear it back

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down to your soul, which is love. Right, And the

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key I think is just to what your thoughts. Your

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thoughts are not real, they're just things that are keeping

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you stuck in certain patterns and when But then of

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course there's this other subtle thing about the resistance to

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what is, So there's you know, the more you fight

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something sometimes it has even more power. So it's a

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really difficult process for people to go, Okay, well I'm

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having this thought, I'm noticing this thought. I just want

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to I don't want to hate that thought too much,

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because then that's going to give it more power. It's

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like you have to just notice it and have a

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neutral and just let it go and go back to

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the center. Like I don't know if that makes sense,

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but it's a it's an ongoing process for people through

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the examining themselves and understanding what's driving their behavior.

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Well, and you know, you bring up something, you bring

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up the fact that you're a Catholic, and you know,

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I'm very much into theology. But one of the things

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that I've seen happen over the historically, over the years

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is you have quote a truth, and all of a sudden,

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over the years, people step in and literally change it

305
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a little bit, and the kings want to change this

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a little bit to fit whatever their needs are, and

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all of a sudden you have something that quote is

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truth that has nothing to do with the original. And

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you know, one thing I notice a lot, and I

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do this too, is that as we talk about quote source,

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as we talk about you know, the love within us,

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the soul and so forth, we've tended to move away

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from this concept of we're children of God and that

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source is God. And why do you think that happened?

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I do it.

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I do it because I don't want to offend people

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that are not necessarily religious.

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But why is it that is it?

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As a group of people, we have gotten to the

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point where we don't acknowledge that divine source within us,

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and we use different words to kind of, you know,

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calm it down a little bit.

323
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Yeah, I think I think. Well, I mean, for you know,

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the way I grew up in my era, like the

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Catholic Church got a bad rap, right, they didn't do

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some nice things to you know, as an institution. And

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I think that we equate particular religions with God rather

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than just seeing God as separate. Right, So like there's spirituality,

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which is God and source or divine, and then there's

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and then there's religion. So if you've had if you've

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moved away from your religion, you tend to move away

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from the symbolic words that associate with that religion. But

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really it's the same, it's the same thing, it doesn't

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you know, it's the I don't know if that makes sense.

335
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I think that if people have been if they're moved

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away from the organized religion, then they tend to refer

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to those Yeah, so those concepts without the word God the.

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Times they move away from the whole thing, which I

339
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find interesting because as they do that they've lost you know,

340
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there's always good in everything, and yes, when you look

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at the different religious organizations, you can always go in

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and find some tremendous value. And yet when people leave,

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sometimes they just completely push that away completely and it

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changes their lives where they're no longer appreciating the value

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that was there. And how do you help people to

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get back at least to the point where they can

347
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start to get that intuition, that inspiration, that understanding of

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the divinity within themselves and the goodness within themselves.

349
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How do you help people to achieve that?

350
00:20:00.519 --> 00:20:03.960
Well, that's actually something that they have to do themselves.

351
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All I can do is highlight the divinity within themselves

352
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and then from there they can then see that stuff

353
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reflected back to them. That's how it works. You know.

354
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I love our this conversation because I've got a beautiful

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nine year old father who studied, you know, he studied

356
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become a priest for five years before he met my mom,

357
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and the Catholic Church won't let you marry. So we

358
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have these discussions a lot about religion and theology, and

359
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so I do, and I do see the incredible value

360
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of sense of connection. And you know, this ability for

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religion and churches and communities to just look after each

362
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other in this immensely heart centered, altruistic way. It's just

363
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this you know, sense of belonging. So I think that

364
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it's played such an important role for so many people.

365
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I mean my family in particular, you know, the Catholic

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Church and the coast to Canada where my my aunties

367
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are from. It it's just it's such a beautiful place

368
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of solace. So I think I can't help. I can't

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force anybody. All I can do is help shine the

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beauty and love within them and then from there they

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make their choices of where they're most aligned to connect to.

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And yeah, I think that's the that's the only thing

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that I can do. It's as a as a practitioner

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working with energy well.

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And I think that points to the fact that I

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think you hit it on the head.

377
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Is a personal responsibility. We can't you know.

378
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And one of the things that I've talked about before,

379
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and I think I see one of your talking points

380
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about you know, we go to therapists, we go to

381
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all of these people to get help, and you know,

382
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you have this talking that goes on, the conversations that

383
00:21:52.599 --> 00:21:57.720
go on and on and on, and nothing ever happens.

384
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And I this hit me really hard when I had

385
00:22:01.079 --> 00:22:04.400
my dental practice and I found a certain area that

386
00:22:04.440 --> 00:22:07.079
I love to work on, which was really helping people

387
00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:11.079
with chronic pain in their head and neck area. And

388
00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:16.319
you know, dentistry decided to label it TMJ and you

389
00:22:16.359 --> 00:22:19.920
know TEMPERAMANDIB your joint and people would come into my

390
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:23.039
to my practice and say, oh doctor, I have TMJ.

391
00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:27.599
You know, my personality is to look at it and say, no,

392
00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:30.440
you have two one on this side and one on

393
00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:33.279
that side, so what are your problems?

394
00:22:33.720 --> 00:22:34.599
And it's like.

395
00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:37.559
Oh, well, I'm having headaches or I'm just having job

396
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pain or so on and so forth. And so that

397
00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:43.799
then allowed us to get into what the root cause was,

398
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which really had to do with a neuromuscular element that

399
00:22:48.279 --> 00:22:52.000
was not working correctly for them. And so what I

400
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find is that people are not really willing to get

401
00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:00.000
into that root cause, and oftentimes as they go through

402
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:05.599
this talk, therapy, on and on and on, they never get.

403
00:23:05.279 --> 00:23:09.400
Into the cause of what's really causes the problem.

404
00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:14.200
And how do you, as you're working with people, what

405
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:17.400
do you observe how do they ultimately get to the

406
00:23:17.400 --> 00:23:21.480
point where they accept the responsibility to say, Okay, I've

407
00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:24.440
got to look within myself and figure this out, and

408
00:23:25.039 --> 00:23:28.519
you're helping me because of your intuitive capabilities to kind

409
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:32.119
of guide me in a certain direction. How do you

410
00:23:32.200 --> 00:23:35.079
help people to get to that point? Because you must

411
00:23:35.079 --> 00:23:38.119
meet people that are wanting the help but they don't

412
00:23:38.279 --> 00:23:39.480
want to do the work.

413
00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:42.799
Well, I have to say, I'm going to be completely

414
00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:48.279
frank that almost I would say ninety nine percent of

415
00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:52.799
my clients have seen me on a spiritual type podcast.

416
00:23:53.039 --> 00:23:56.599
They are at the stage where they read, feel see energy,

417
00:23:57.039 --> 00:24:00.000
They understand they have some stuff and they want some help.

418
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:02.640
Most of my clients have done the work, they've done

419
00:24:02.680 --> 00:24:05.799
the talk therapy, they have the self awareness. They just

420
00:24:05.880 --> 00:24:09.599
want assistance in helping release the blocks that they can

421
00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:12.440
feel within themselves that are preventing them from, you know,

422
00:24:12.519 --> 00:24:16.559
perhaps one hundred percent vitality. So I'm very lucky that

423
00:24:16.599 --> 00:24:19.359
I very rarely get those. I mean, at the start

424
00:24:19.400 --> 00:24:22.279
of my I did get a lot of people like that.

425
00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:27.519
That's a tough conversation, you know, because I want to

426
00:24:27.559 --> 00:24:29.279
meet people where they're at and I want to be

427
00:24:29.359 --> 00:24:33.119
really compassionate. I also want to validate anybody's experience. So

428
00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:36.000
when you're having the it does take at a certain

429
00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:38.559
point where you have to say, have you ever thought

430
00:24:38.599 --> 00:24:40.799
about this? And then I also try to use my

431
00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:44.279
own personal experience saying, look, I understand I used to

432
00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:46.799
identify with this victim, like I used to be a

433
00:24:46.839 --> 00:24:50.799
professional victim. I loved my victim stories, you know, I

434
00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:53.440
inherited that from my mother, Like we all we were

435
00:24:53.480 --> 00:24:56.240
just victims, right, And so it's shedding that so I

436
00:24:56.279 --> 00:24:59.720
try to relate it on a personal level. I try

437
00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:01.640
to use a bit of humor. I try to just

438
00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:04.759
I try to let people understand, you know, everyone's doing

439
00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:08.960
their best, but you know, perhaps just planting a few

440
00:25:09.039 --> 00:25:12.000
seeds that it's the thoughts and the rigidity of how

441
00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:15.640
they're viewing the world that is creating their limited their

442
00:25:15.720 --> 00:25:19.880
limiting beliefs and their pain. And getting back to the job,

443
00:25:19.880 --> 00:25:24.400
which is really interesting. So I see that tension, that's

444
00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:28.319
a lot of story to anger. It's honestly people. And

445
00:25:28.440 --> 00:25:30.720
what I love about you is that you probably intuitively

446
00:25:30.759 --> 00:25:33.160
knew about that, and you have this beautiful empathic presence,

447
00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:35.559
so you didn't realize you're kind of doing hands on

448
00:25:35.640 --> 00:25:38.880
healing with them because you just hold people in that

449
00:25:38.920 --> 00:25:42.200
space and just with beautiful empathy, So you didn't even

450
00:25:42.200 --> 00:25:44.440
realize that's what you're doing. But it's like you're treating

451
00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:47.160
the muscle, but you're actually treating the whole person as

452
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:50.640
this with empathy. And also, what I loved about what

453
00:25:50.720 --> 00:25:52.799
you did it was that you're getting people not to

454
00:25:52.839 --> 00:25:55.400
cling to the stories and the labels, like that's a

455
00:25:55.480 --> 00:25:59.759
major problem we have with psychology medicine. It's just these

456
00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:03.839
I have depression, I have anxiety. It's like, no, I'm

457
00:26:03.880 --> 00:26:07.519
feeling anxious. I'm feeling sad, and I've been sad for

458
00:26:07.519 --> 00:26:10.039
a very long time. If we label this depression, then

459
00:26:10.039 --> 00:26:12.759
it's almost like it's this self fulfilling thing. We're just

460
00:26:13.079 --> 00:26:15.559
you know, and rather than saying, well, it's actually okay

461
00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:17.640
for everything that you've been through to you for you

462
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:21.480
to feel sad, rather than just this label that keeps

463
00:26:21.480 --> 00:26:26.480
people stuck and in an identity of that, rather than

464
00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:31.160
just having it as part of the human experience, they're

465
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:33.440
completely identifying with the label.

466
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:36.720
Well, oh, I love that you bring up the word label,

467
00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:39.319
because I hadn't thought about it in that direction. But

468
00:26:39.400 --> 00:26:43.720
it's so true that we tend to get labeled, and

469
00:26:43.799 --> 00:26:47.599
as we get labeled, all of a sudden, wow, there

470
00:26:47.839 --> 00:26:50.400
comes the judgment. There comes all of those type of things,

471
00:26:50.440 --> 00:26:53.839
not only external judgment, but self judgment of.

472
00:26:53.960 --> 00:26:54.480
Who we are.

473
00:26:54.640 --> 00:27:00.799
And you know, to be able to absolutely room labels

474
00:27:01.279 --> 00:27:05.319
from who we are again, that becomes a challenge in

475
00:27:05.359 --> 00:27:07.839
our lives. You know, I sit and think about the

476
00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:10.720
people that are listening to this, and I you know,

477
00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:13.599
I guarantee you there are some that are the lovely

478
00:27:13.640 --> 00:27:16.039
you're talking about where they've done the work and so forth,

479
00:27:16.079 --> 00:27:19.759
and they find this fascinating, and other people who are listening.

480
00:27:19.480 --> 00:27:23.240
Going, how do I do this? How do I change?

481
00:27:23.440 --> 00:27:25.960
I am not happy? But how do I do that?

482
00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:29.599
And I look at that and go, how, Yeah, how

483
00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:33.880
do we help people that are not experiencing that ability

484
00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:38.359
to move forward and understand that, you know what, you

485
00:27:38.599 --> 00:27:43.519
can change your life experiences if you're willing to.

486
00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:47.559
Yeah, well, I really like to just meet people exactly

487
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:49.599
where they're at to start off with. Because if I

488
00:27:49.720 --> 00:27:54.079
start saying you need to change you're there's something wrong

489
00:27:54.119 --> 00:27:56.799
with the way you are, then it creates more shame

490
00:27:56.880 --> 00:28:00.680
and resistance. So I think the very first step is saying, hey,

491
00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:05.119
you know, I get it. I understand why you are

492
00:28:05.160 --> 00:28:07.599
at and I understand how hard it is to change.

493
00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:13.519
I like that deep empathy and genuine connection because really

494
00:28:13.640 --> 00:28:18.799
people are dying for to be seen authentically exactly as

495
00:28:18.839 --> 00:28:22.200
they are, and just to be accepted in a safe

496
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:25.720
in a safe way. So if you're like an EmPATH

497
00:28:25.799 --> 00:28:28.240
and you don't even want to express your feelings because

498
00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:32.119
you're worried about the other person's sadness or anxiety or judgment,

499
00:28:32.400 --> 00:28:34.440
So that's how I usually start, is in that full

500
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:38.000
acceptance of where they're at and just an acknowledgment of

501
00:28:38.039 --> 00:28:41.960
how hard it's been for them, how challenging it's been

502
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:45.440
for them, et cetera, et cetera, Because in that space

503
00:28:46.039 --> 00:28:49.960
there can be a softening, right and an opening of like, Okay,

504
00:28:50.319 --> 00:28:54.400
what's the possibility now? Because I've been fully seen and

505
00:28:54.440 --> 00:28:58.119
I'm accepted the way I'm at, Okay, what's possible from here?

506
00:28:58.359 --> 00:29:01.039
Let's just let's just do my crow steps of like,

507
00:29:01.599 --> 00:29:04.359
you know, changing a little bit of like what if

508
00:29:04.440 --> 00:29:07.759
what if there's a possibility if you just saw yourself

509
00:29:07.960 --> 00:29:11.319
a little bit differently today? You know, it's like, but

510
00:29:11.400 --> 00:29:13.200
we don't want to judge yourself too much for how

511
00:29:13.240 --> 00:29:15.519
we are, you know, because then that creates even more

512
00:29:15.519 --> 00:29:16.680
shame in this spral.

513
00:29:17.599 --> 00:29:21.480
Yeah, well, you know, interesting Over the last actual month,

514
00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:25.359
and this is a personal thing for me, I have

515
00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:26.240
found that all of.

516
00:29:26.279 --> 00:29:29.359
A sudden, I get angry, I get upset.

517
00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:32.440
I get frustrated, and I know part of it is,

518
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:34.319
you know, I'm here in a country that I don't

519
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:37.880
understand the language, and to a large agree, I don't

520
00:29:38.039 --> 00:29:41.839
understand the culture, and it's so different, and you know,

521
00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:46.079
things happen and it's just like, oh, and I'm going, okay,

522
00:29:46.559 --> 00:29:51.039
I'm recognizing this, but there's a difference between recognizing it

523
00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:54.160
and releasing it. Yeah, and I'd love for you to

524
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:57.119
talk a little bit about how do you help people

525
00:29:57.119 --> 00:30:02.000
who can recognize what's going on but not really understanding

526
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:04.920
how how do I release it? How do I how

527
00:30:04.920 --> 00:30:09.359
do I release that frustration, that anger that is popping

528
00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:11.839
up that just doesn't make sense. I'll be playing golf

529
00:30:11.839 --> 00:30:13.880
and I get so ticked off if I'm not making

530
00:30:13.960 --> 00:30:17.119
a great shot and you know, those type of things,

531
00:30:17.119 --> 00:30:21.359
whereas in other times it's like, oh okay, it doesn't

532
00:30:21.400 --> 00:30:22.039
make a difference.

533
00:30:22.079 --> 00:30:23.000
I'm just having fun.

534
00:30:23.519 --> 00:30:28.960
So interesting, I think where I would Okay, So the

535
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:30.920
first thing I would start with you with the golf,

536
00:30:30.920 --> 00:30:37.279
for example, is it's not about the golf shot. But

537
00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:40.960
what I'm what I'm feeling, particularly is that you don't

538
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:44.759
want to be frustrated, right, yeah, right, you don't like

539
00:30:44.799 --> 00:30:48.480
yourself being frustrated, you don't like yourself being angry. So

540
00:30:48.920 --> 00:30:52.440
all of a sudden, when you have resistance to what is,

541
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:55.920
it makes it even bigger. Okay, so this is the thing,

542
00:30:56.119 --> 00:30:59.200
but you're What I would say is you're allowed not

543
00:30:59.240 --> 00:31:03.640
to like feeling frustrated, You're allowed to not like feeling angry.

544
00:31:04.240 --> 00:31:08.559
We literally just start with it's okay to hate feeling frustrated,

545
00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:12.039
It's okay to have these emotions that you don't want

546
00:31:12.039 --> 00:31:15.759
to have. Like it's a really interesting way to start

547
00:31:15.799 --> 00:31:18.119
off with it, because we wouldn't say it's okay to

548
00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:21.279
feel frustrated, because actually that doesn't resonate with you. You

549
00:31:21.319 --> 00:31:24.400
don't want to be frustrated. You don't like yourself being frustrated.

550
00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:27.440
You're judging yourself for being frustrated because you're like, I

551
00:31:27.480 --> 00:31:29.359
should be better than this. I've got this hard, I

552
00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:33.039
can see the bigger picture. Why am I feeling frustrated? Right?

553
00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:36.960
So it's funny just by realizing that you judge yourself

554
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:40.319
for feeling frustrated, and you're like, actually, it's okay to

555
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:44.240
judge myself for feeling frustrated, or I'm just noticing that

556
00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:47.480
I'm judging myself for feeling frustrated. I don't like judging

557
00:31:47.519 --> 00:31:51.759
myself for feeling frustrated. Like it's just that deep acknowledgment,

558
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:55.279
and then from there it literally can release because when

559
00:31:55.319 --> 00:31:58.519
we just tap into exactly what is, and we allow

560
00:31:58.599 --> 00:32:01.720
what is just to be part of our human experience.

561
00:32:02.359 --> 00:32:04.799
There is this sense of expansion, There is a sort

562
00:32:04.839 --> 00:32:06.839
of like a little bit of space. It's just a

563
00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:10.119
little bit of self acceptance for the present moment.

564
00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:14.200
Well, and that is fascinating and I think so accurate.

565
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:16.920
You know, you said something and I have there's a

566
00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:22.160
quote that I've remembered for years that which we resist persists. Yeah, yeah,

567
00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:24.279
and you know you said it in a different way,

568
00:32:24.359 --> 00:32:27.920
but it's so true. And you know what I love,

569
00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:32.519
and you really talked about this the acknowledgment, the ability

570
00:32:32.599 --> 00:32:39.160
to acknowledge what's going on rather than resisting it.

571
00:32:39.200 --> 00:32:43.039
To me, it's so fascinating and it makes such a difference.

572
00:32:43.319 --> 00:32:45.880
And as I've talked to hundreds of people on this

573
00:32:45.960 --> 00:32:49.960
podcast and many who you know, talk about these different

574
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:52.480
types of things, one of the key elements, and you

575
00:32:52.519 --> 00:32:55.119
have brought it up so well, is the fact that

576
00:32:55.160 --> 00:32:59.640
if we just acknowledge what we're feeling, that there's a

577
00:32:59.759 --> 00:33:05.400
song difference between acknowledgment and resisting, which tends to release

578
00:33:05.440 --> 00:33:06.519
it correct.

579
00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:09.759
Yeah. Like you know, when somebody is very heightened and

580
00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:13.079
angry and you say, calm down, Like nobody in the

581
00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:15.920
history of being told to calm down has ever felt, oh, yeah,

582
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:17.880
that's a good idea. I'll just calm down now. Thanks

583
00:33:17.880 --> 00:33:20.359
for the reminder. I should have thought of that. Nobody

584
00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:22.000
ever thinks that. And when I used to work in

585
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:24.440
schools and adolescents, and you'd have these raging kids and

586
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:26.960
I was working in sort of like the discipline, they'd

587
00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:29.400
be sent to me, and the best way to calm

588
00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:31.759
someone down is just to go, I can see why

589
00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:34.960
you're angry. I can I can see why you're angry.

590
00:33:35.039 --> 00:33:38.000
I can see you're angry. I can see you're frustrated.

591
00:33:38.200 --> 00:33:41.319
You know, let's walk over here, let's just and then

592
00:33:41.400 --> 00:33:44.359
all of a sudden, the tears might form. You know.

593
00:33:44.559 --> 00:33:47.039
It's like it's like, you know, they get sent out

594
00:33:47.079 --> 00:33:48.640
of a class. You just saying, is if you just

595
00:33:48.640 --> 00:33:51.559
start telling them straight away, well, they're they're frontal lobe there, sorry,

596
00:33:51.559 --> 00:33:53.839
they're prefrontal cortex is offline. They're not going to hear

597
00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:56.119
anything you're saying. You just have to meet the emotion.

598
00:33:56.640 --> 00:33:59.359
And people think you're fanning the flames of the emotion

599
00:33:59.480 --> 00:34:02.839
by saying it and labeling it so, but you're actually

600
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:05.359
not you're diffusing it. So like with a child, you know,

601
00:34:05.359 --> 00:34:08.199
they're saying you're when a kid is crying and you say, well,

602
00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:11.360
you know, just get out. You're okay, You're okay, you're fine,

603
00:34:11.440 --> 00:34:14.800
you're fine, and the kids keeps crying and you go, no, no,

604
00:34:14.840 --> 00:34:17.159
you're okay. It's like you think you're distracting them enough

605
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:19.880
to it's like, no, oh that hurts, Oh that doesn't

606
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:21.840
feel nice. Come here, I'll give you a hug, and

607
00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:25.400
I can tell you it's much faster by just meeting

608
00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:28.400
that kid where they're at. They validate. It's, well, you

609
00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:31.679
banged your knee, it's gonna hurt you, just rub it.

610
00:34:32.199 --> 00:34:35.639
Here's a hug. You know, let's keep going. It's just

611
00:34:35.719 --> 00:34:38.519
a little different, right, and you're meeting that person, and

612
00:34:38.559 --> 00:34:41.400
then all of a sudden that it's diffused, especially those

613
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:45.360
temperaments where people feel things really intensely, Like there are

614
00:34:45.400 --> 00:34:48.119
certain temperaments, but you know, if you've got children. I've

615
00:34:48.119 --> 00:34:50.719
got one child who has a really strong sense like

616
00:34:50.760 --> 00:34:53.679
everything is really intense, and the other one is very different.

617
00:34:54.280 --> 00:34:56.639
If I just say, oh, I can understand why you're anxious,

618
00:34:57.039 --> 00:35:00.119
Thank you, mom, she just calms down. Like if I

619
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.199
I say, oh, well, you know, you're looking at it

620
00:35:02.239 --> 00:35:03.559
this way and you should try to think of it

621
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:06.119
this way, or like, she just keeps giving me more

622
00:35:06.159 --> 00:35:09.000
reasons to why she's anxious, and then it gets bigger

623
00:35:09.000 --> 00:35:11.880
and bigger. This is the key. We meet humans exactly

624
00:35:11.880 --> 00:35:16.199
where they're at that feel less judgment about themselves, and

625
00:35:16.239 --> 00:35:18.559
then all of a sudden it's diffused. It's like the

626
00:35:18.719 --> 00:35:20.760
errors coming out of the balloon. You know.

627
00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:23.039
I have so many conversations. I have four kids.

628
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:28.960
I have so many conversations with them about all right,

629
00:35:29.320 --> 00:35:33.360
what did I do as a parent that caused some

630
00:35:33.440 --> 00:35:34.039
of this stuff?

631
00:35:34.039 --> 00:35:35.400
And we laugh about it.

632
00:35:35.440 --> 00:35:38.199
We're all on really good communication and we laugh about, yeah,

633
00:35:38.239 --> 00:35:40.559
well dad, you did this, and here's what made me

634
00:35:40.599 --> 00:35:45.320
feel and so forth. But what great parenting advice to

635
00:35:45.559 --> 00:35:50.559
understand that how we respond to our children makes such

636
00:35:50.599 --> 00:35:56.880
a difference overall in their whole life experience and realizing

637
00:35:56.960 --> 00:35:59.679
that and I love what you said, rather than I'll

638
00:35:59.679 --> 00:36:02.280
get up, you know, and everything's okay, quick, crying, you

639
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:06.159
know whatever, to just being able to acknowledge as a

640
00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:10.480
parent and show them a little bit more love that

641
00:36:10.480 --> 00:36:14.119
that makes such a difference for the child and yet

642
00:36:14.320 --> 00:36:17.519
in some cases we can't do that. And why can't

643
00:36:17.559 --> 00:36:21.159
we do that because we never experience that as a child,

644
00:36:21.239 --> 00:36:24.199
and therefore we have all those limiting beliefs and imprints.

645
00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:27.880
Yeah exactly, and we it's it's been a vicious cycle,

646
00:36:27.960 --> 00:36:31.079
yeah for sure. And I think you know, and then

647
00:36:31.159 --> 00:36:33.199
some parents have gone so far the other way that

648
00:36:33.239 --> 00:36:35.280
they want to make sure they're shielding their child from

649
00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:38.400
any discomfort, which is not really what the human experience

650
00:36:38.480 --> 00:36:41.760
is all about. We are here to experience, yeah, the

651
00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:45.000
vast range of human experience, like joy and grief. That

652
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:47.679
that's what we're here for. We only feel love, we

653
00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:50.840
you know, the grief means that you've really loved somebody, right,

654
00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:53.320
This is this is the duality, This is where this

655
00:36:53.400 --> 00:36:56.239
is the Earth game, you know, this is the human experience.

656
00:36:56.280 --> 00:36:59.599
So I think that there is a fine line. But

657
00:36:59.800 --> 00:37:01.440
one of the key things is a parent is for

658
00:37:01.519 --> 00:37:04.440
you to stay calm, right, because the child tunes into

659
00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:08.320
you that you are. You've got this coregulation capability. So

660
00:37:08.360 --> 00:37:11.519
if you're feeling calm, if your child's really really really sad,

661
00:37:12.119 --> 00:37:14.679
and then you have this like worry and anxious and

662
00:37:14.800 --> 00:37:18.000
you're feeling really anxious, which is okay, as again you

663
00:37:18.599 --> 00:37:21.719
but you have to notice that you know how much

664
00:37:21.800 --> 00:37:25.840
sadness can be affecting your beautiful empathic child. They're feeling yours,

665
00:37:25.880 --> 00:37:27.440
so they don't want to stay that. Some of those

666
00:37:27.480 --> 00:37:29.559
kids stop talking to their parents because they're so worried

667
00:37:29.559 --> 00:37:33.159
about their parents' reaction, and then they shut down. So,

668
00:37:33.320 --> 00:37:35.760
I mean, I used to teach parenting courses when I

669
00:37:35.800 --> 00:37:38.400
was working in high schools, and you know, we taught

670
00:37:38.400 --> 00:37:43.440
this emotional coaching, which is really it's just it's not authoritarian,

671
00:37:43.480 --> 00:37:46.079
it's not too lean. It's just literally saying, I see

672
00:37:46.119 --> 00:37:48.519
what you're You know, you can still set boundaries and

673
00:37:48.559 --> 00:37:51.639
be compassionate at the same time, but you just tune

674
00:37:51.639 --> 00:37:52.280
into the emotion.

675
00:37:52.960 --> 00:37:54.800
Yes, And you know one thing that you talked about,

676
00:37:54.840 --> 00:37:58.000
one of your talking points that I saw was spiritual

677
00:37:58.000 --> 00:38:01.239
bypass and the importance of avoid it. Help me to

678
00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:03.400
understand in the age, what do you mean by a

679
00:38:03.480 --> 00:38:06.559
spiritual bypass and why does it need to be avoided?

680
00:38:07.599 --> 00:38:11.440
Well, I like this question because there is you know,

681
00:38:11.519 --> 00:38:14.920
when when if you think about the secret manifestation, all

682
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:18.599
those kinds of like modalities about abundance, et cetera, there's

683
00:38:18.639 --> 00:38:23.039
an element of you know, affirmations, right, So they're like,

684
00:38:23.639 --> 00:38:28.000
I'm great, I feel fantastic. So those are That's what

685
00:38:28.039 --> 00:38:30.119
I mean by spiritual bypass is that you know, there's

686
00:38:30.119 --> 00:38:32.239
this thing, well, okay, well I don't want to vibrate

687
00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:36.760
in lower emotions like fear and sadness. I'm love and light. Right,

688
00:38:36.840 --> 00:38:39.360
That's what spiritual bypass is. They don't they just want

689
00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:42.719
to you completely ignore any of those because you just

690
00:38:42.760 --> 00:38:45.280
want to be positive. You want to be light and love.

691
00:38:45.719 --> 00:38:49.679
But the problem with that is and look, it's really

692
00:38:49.679 --> 00:38:53.239
good to see the positive side, right, It's important. We

693
00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:56.239
want to be able to view life from a lens

694
00:38:56.360 --> 00:38:59.159
of love and beauty and wonder and appreciation and gratitude.

695
00:38:59.199 --> 00:39:01.760
That is that that's how we want to that's you know,

696
00:39:01.800 --> 00:39:04.719
your heart wants to expands when you vibrate at those

697
00:39:04.760 --> 00:39:09.760
particular frequencies. But the reality is that we do get sad,

698
00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:12.800
we do get angry, we do get we do have fear.

699
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:15.840
Even when we're surrendering, we might have fear. Even if

700
00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:19.440
we trust, we still might have a bit of anxiety.

701
00:39:19.519 --> 00:39:21.199
You just notice it. You don't have to sit in

702
00:39:21.320 --> 00:39:23.800
longer than twenty or thirty seconds, But it's part of

703
00:39:24.280 --> 00:39:27.079
who you are because if you just bypass it, I

704
00:39:27.199 --> 00:39:30.239
see that stuff just get stuck in the body, you see,

705
00:39:30.719 --> 00:39:34.400
which is your body's wave, you know. I mean it

706
00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:37.440
happens to me like if I'm not completely honest with

707
00:39:37.519 --> 00:39:40.480
my own feelings, Like if I'm like, yeah, everything's great,

708
00:39:40.559 --> 00:39:42.960
everything's great, and I'm like, oh, I've got a twinge

709
00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:44.840
in my lower back. I wonder what that could be.

710
00:39:44.920 --> 00:39:48.559
And it's like, oh, usually that's around your safety, your security,

711
00:39:48.599 --> 00:39:50.639
your finances and stuff like that. I'm like, oh, you

712
00:39:50.679 --> 00:39:53.519
know what, I've got that tax bill. Okay, it's coming up,

713
00:39:53.559 --> 00:39:55.840
and I'm like, oh, I hate my taxes. I don't

714
00:39:55.840 --> 00:39:57.239
want to have to pay my taxes. And I just

715
00:39:57.280 --> 00:40:00.199
have to express it. And then okay, thank you by

716
00:40:00.239 --> 00:40:03.800
for holding on to my frustration or my worry, and

717
00:40:04.239 --> 00:40:06.199
then I have to I just let it go. I

718
00:40:06.239 --> 00:40:09.320
can see my body as a barometer of my emotional

719
00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:13.039
internal system or sometimes I don't know what it is,

720
00:40:13.079 --> 00:40:15.960
and I just try I do some yoga moves or

721
00:40:15.960 --> 00:40:19.320
something and it'll just help it release. But I'm just

722
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:21.840
softening into it. I'm just allowing and I say, I

723
00:40:21.880 --> 00:40:23.320
don't know what the emotion is but I don't want

724
00:40:23.320 --> 00:40:24.280
to release it right now.

725
00:40:24.480 --> 00:40:28.800
So really it goes back to that acknowledgement. Yeah, willing

726
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:31.480
and able to acknowledge that, Hey, I'm feeling sad, I'm

727
00:40:31.519 --> 00:40:35.280
feeling frustrated, I'm feeling angry, or I'm feeling love, I'm

728
00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:38.199
feeling joy, whatever that happens to be. Yeah, and we

729
00:40:38.239 --> 00:40:42.000
accept the positive aspect, but we kind of resist the

730
00:40:42.039 --> 00:40:45.760
negative part, which I find interesting. So as we come

731
00:40:45.800 --> 00:40:48.679
to a close, what would be a message that you'd

732
00:40:48.719 --> 00:40:50.039
like to share with the audience.

733
00:40:50.639 --> 00:40:55.199
Well, the highest vibration is authenticity. We think it's love,

734
00:40:55.360 --> 00:41:00.000
but you know, as a frequency, humans are craving connects

735
00:41:00.360 --> 00:41:04.840
with other humans at a beautiful, authentic level. That's what

736
00:41:04.880 --> 00:41:08.840
we're That is the most beautiful way to expand your heart,

737
00:41:09.119 --> 00:41:11.199
for you to feel love and connection is to just

738
00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:14.119
be your authentic self. And the more that we sit

739
00:41:14.159 --> 00:41:17.880
with our true authenticity, that's how we build our vitality.

740
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:23.440
That's how we have happiness and contentment. And you know,

741
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:27.519
and then we're operating. When we're operating from authenticity, we

742
00:41:27.599 --> 00:41:29.159
are living our soul's purpose.

743
00:41:29.719 --> 00:41:32.599
Oh love it, Peggy, Thanks so much. This has been

744
00:41:32.599 --> 00:41:34.119
a fascinating conversation.

745
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:37.360
I have loved speaking with you, Doug. Thank you so

746
00:41:37.480 --> 00:41:38.760
much for having me on the show.

747
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:41.840
Well, I really appreciate it, And folks, I hope you've

748
00:41:41.920 --> 00:41:45.159
enjoyed this. And I think the message for Peggy is

749
00:41:45.199 --> 00:41:51.159
so important. That authenticity, that willingness to acknowledge whatever is

750
00:41:51.199 --> 00:41:54.280
going on, whatever emotion you're feeling, and being able to

751
00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:57.320
acknowledge versus resisting makes such a difference in our lives.

752
00:41:57.360 --> 00:42:01.079
So anyway, folks, thanks for listening. Hope join us again soon.

753
00:42:01.679 --> 00:42:04.880
This is doctor Doug Sane noms Day.