Somatic Healing, Neurodivergence & Feminine Power with Lauren Salaun

0:01 This program is designed to provide general information with regards to the subject matters covered. This information is given with the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial, legal, counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any suggested ideas. At the end of the day, it's not about what you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

0:44 Denzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Lauren welcome. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here today. You know, I'm really excited to have you on the show because as I've looked over your website and your bio and so forth, and your expertise, I. Find that it's really unusual. Okay, and I'll talk about that from the standpoint of wording that you use and descriptions that you use. But what I'd love for you to do is what I find is there's always a story, there's always a journey, and I'd love for you to share your journey with the audience, kind of give a background of who you are, and then kind of share your journey of what brought you to this point where you are helping women in the way that.

1:38 You are absolutely absolutely okay. So I can be a little bit of a talker, so I'll give you the mini who I am now what I'm really passionate about. So Entrepreneur Speaker podcast hosts myself, transformational facilitator and Somatic life coach, and I do a lot of work with women, actually women when it comes to dating and relationships, so a lot of work on embodying feminine energy, femininity, all of that kind of stuff. And I really love to work with women in that capacity because I come from being very much a overachiever, boss babe, kind of like hustle, go go go, NonStop kind of woman. And while that resulted in a lot of really incredible things in my life and many ways, it also had a lot of things, you know, resulted in a lot of results that I didn't quite love in my life, especially related to marriage, relationships, that sort of thing. So I work with women to help them heal their nervous system, reprogram their subconscious mind, to really step into that innate magnetism that women have, and help women break free from that boss babe hustle culture kind of life, really own their worth and work on that worthiness journey, stand more firm in their power, and really invite more ease and flow into their lives.

3:01 And I used. To focus just on personal growth with women and everything like that, and shifted over the last two years, I would say, into more dating and relationships because I have worked with so many women who, again they're successful go getters in so many areas of their lives, and you would see them and say like, wow, she's got it all together right, But who would struggle with dating, would struggle with relationships, and have very similar struggles when it came to relationships, and those being like I just can't meet a man who's manly enough or masculine enough for me, and stuff like that, and a lot of the times, these kinds of women, and I was one of these kinds of women as well, have a lot of similar patterns, similar wounds, similar blocks, and things that we can work on to make it so that that is no longer a big hurdle, I guess in their lives. And a little bit backing up to kind of my story and journey, I was the classic overachiever, perfectionist, workaholic like all of that.

4:07 So somebody who was very stuck in my masculine energy. But also I was that way like my whole life, right, so excelled in sports, I did music, I did theater, I did was good at school like all the things perfectionists and all the things, and that was very encouraged, which is amazing. And as I'm sure you can imagine, fast forward to college or even early in my career, I'm double majoring, I'm workaholic like all that kind of stuff, and that brought a lot of amazing results, Like I said, success, good career, accolades, like money, all of that, But it was also me very much operating in a survival pattern in a lot of ways. And so so yeah, so live my whole life in this overachiever, workaholic kind of space.

4:55 I ended up getting married in when was it ten years ago? Oh, my gosh, ten years ago at this point in twenty fifteen, to a good man and to a man who complimented me at the time in the sense that I was very much in my masculine energy and so he was very much in his feminine energy. And as I started to do a lot of the work on myself, the inner work, and the work I started doing was around the unworthiness, the perfectionism, the overachieving, all of that kind of stuff, and so it wasn't about like masculine feminine stuff at all. It was that stuff. But as I started to work on those things, I started to really like find more balance in that feminine and masculine energy. Because a lot of that high achieving, go go go, like success, drive, push, that kind of energy is the masculine energy. And so as I learned how to balance that out, I was because I was chasing a lot of that. Because there's nothing wrong, I want to be clear with the men and women listening, there's nothing wrong with being successful, being driven, anything like that, being excited and passionate about your career and having goals right, But for me, and I know for so many women too who can relate, I was chasing a lot of that for validation, because that's what made me feel worthy, feel valuable, all of that. So if you know, if I was successful, if people thought I was amazing, all these things that filled my tank, right instead of my tank being filled with through through other means. And so

6:28 as I started to heal those pieces, that masculine feminine energy harmonization started to balance out more and then I started to do more work on that, and that's when I realized, oh my gosh, this is now that I'm not occupying the masculine energy in my relationship. It's not really we don't really have that in our relationship. And so spent a few years really working on that stuff and trying to figure it out, and ultimately decided to split up. And so I got divorced in twenty twenty. You know, while COVID was happening, like all all the things are going on at the same time. So COVID, COVID divorce, and that threw me into a lot of depealing, so even more depealing, right, and that's where I started to you know, I started to learn about somatic healing.

7:19 I'm certified in somatic healing, which has been incredibly powerful and amazing for my own journey and end growth and started to learn a lot more about relationships, right, because I was fascinated by like, Okay, how did I get into what brought me here? Right? And if that was because it was ultimately my choice to end the marriage, if that wasn't the marriage that I wanted? Right, Like what brought me there? And now if I want something different, what growth do I get to step into to have a different outcome in the future, right, to change my what my relationship and dating life looks like from here on out. And so that that's the long but short way of how we got here.

8:05 Okay, so double major. What were your majors? Communications and graphic design? So studio art, And it was the sort of thing where I went into. I went to a lovely liberal arts college in Santa Barbara, California, Like, can't complain, right, My school is a little private school in Montecito. We'd go to the beach all that, Like it was amazing. And I went in with a lot of of course, remember overachiever. I went in with a lot of AP credits and stuff like that, where I could have graduated a year early, right and say, my parents a year of private school tuition, but instead I chose to do more school. So I'm like, I've got all the room, let's do two majors instead of one. And so basically went through the course book and circled all the classes that sounded really cool to me, and then saw, okay, a lot of these line up with communications. Then that makes sense as the major I want to do, right And then I've always loved to be creative and do art, so I did graphic design as well.

9:04 So did you go into some type of business or did you work for a major company or what happened there? And how doing that? Absolutely? So after college I went right into working on an AD agency. So I've always loved that intersection of like strategic communication and so like the psychology behind it when there's visual aspects as well. So went into working at a an AD agency and then went down the PR route, started working at a PR agency as well. Took a little break to well before the PR agency, took a little break because I was like, you know what, maybe advertising isn't the direction. Maybe I want to be more in the creative side of things. Went to New York City and did an internship program there that focused mainly on more of the art side of things, and it was there that I was like, you know what, the like artist direction, I think I want to keep that more as the hobby, like in my tool belt, but not the main thing. So went back into more the marketing side of things and was in PR for several years and then left that last company I worked for in when would that have been two thousand and.

10:18 Fourteen? Yes, I think twenty fourteen to start my own business and in those you know, ten years now since doing my own thing, I owned my own agency for a while, and then did I also have had a fitness business too. I was an athlete for a long time, so I had a fitness business, but did PR for for several years, including my own agency, and started leaning into coaching more in twenty twenty and just this past year merged my agency with another agency, so I got to take that CEO hat off, which was really nice, and I get to focus a lot more of my energy on and my coaching work.

11:03 Wow. Yeah, talk about someone who really wants to accomplish a lot. Yeah yeah, right. Well yeah, And I find that it's true of many many people and women. And I think it's interesting because I think it used to be much more about the how it looked and the accomplishments and that sort of thing, like I said, for the validation and the self worth and all of that. And really like the last you know, eight or so years, it's been so much more about like what feels exciting and interesting to me? Right because I'm not I'm not so much driven by oh, this is my dream job and that's what I have to do. It's and I'm going to do this forever. It's like, oh, in this season and chat like what am I passionate about?

11:51 What's exciting? What? Yes, what can I see doing for a long time? But yeah, like I have been blessed to be able to trial lot of different things and going a lot of different directions, and you know, working for myself the last decade allows a lot. Of that freedom, which is which is really great. But I'm very very motivated by lifestyle and freedom and getting to you know, explore what's interesting to me. Well you know what I find fascinating And thank you for being so transparent. I think that's great. What I find interesting is, you know, as. We talk about and as you talk about you know, whatever those experiences were in childhood that caused you to have.

12:32 To just do do do doom. In order to feel like you're accepted by people in the community and so forth. And yet, and you know, and we look back at that, and so many people now are trying to look at that experience as childs there as children and overcome that. And you know, we focus on overcoming that. And yet with your story, and I think it's true of many people people those things caused you to become the person that you became success wise, and then ultimately because you were able to do that, you it has allowed you to have that inner sense of understanding and transformation and now you're doing something entirely different that's making a huge difference for other ways.

13:29 Absolutely. Yeah, So what are your thoughts about that? I mean, obviously, as you went through your own transformation, as we all do that, you know, we can approach that as being a victim of that negativity, or we can approach that with gratitude and realize, Okay, there's some positive things that came out of this, But I can always charted start a new chapter in my life, or I can have a new beginning. Yeah, absolutely, And so to be clear, right, Like, you know, the overachieving, perfectionist stuff and all of that. I think that those are patterns that have very.

14:11 A lot of very positive side effects, right, and a lot of very socially acceptable and socially rewarded consequences or results. Right, So operating that way is going to get you ahead much more than like if I was an underachiever, I would say, right, so if I was a chronic underachiever, and you know that might have the outcome of that or the path that that could have taken me could have potentially been very far away from where I would have wanted to go, right. So I can absolutely like I absolutely feel so much gratitude for where I'm at in my life, how my life has gone, and everything like that. And so being able to see those patterns, oh this, you know, if I had done this from this way or all of that, it could have saved me some pain and burnout along the way in my adult life and stuff like that. But I absolutely can see that, Oh and those habits or those patterns did yield a lot of really really advantageous results in my life.

15:15 Absolutely, right. But it's interesting because it's funny because I will talk to friends about this. I'll talk to my boyfriend about this and be like, gosh, like when I was in my early and mid twenties working sixty to eighty hours a week, and yes, I at the after a couple of years of that was like having a panic attack in the bathroom at work once a week, like that sort of thing. So it wasn't like a good or sustainable setup. But I was operating at that level for like several years. And whereas now. And I think a lot of people can probably relate to this, probably a lot of especially women. And I also find I'm going to get really niche here a lot of neurodivergent women who may.

15:56 Relate to my story. Is then you're in your thirties and you're like, I can't possibly work more than twenty hours? What happened? Like ten years ago? I was able to work like a machine NonStop, and now I physically can't write. And so it's so interesting because I think now, right looking back, and like, oh, I yes, honed so many skills, right, I learned so much and honed a lot of. Skills that are very very helpful. In my life now, in my career now, And I usually I'm like, yeah, but that gear, right, that gear eighty hours a week. Now, it just I don't know what it would take to get me there.

16:39 Okay, So I'm going to stop you here. This is something that I do to a lot of people, and my kids just laugh about it. But it's made a big difference. You've used a couple of words somatic coaching, yes, and neurodivergency. Yeah. And I guarantee you that there's many people that are listening that have no what that means, and even if they go to the dictionary, it may be different than what your definition is. So I'd love for you to number one, define what is sematic. What is sematic absolutely levine. Or coaching and so forth, not the coaching, but you know what is the somatic yeah? Yeah, and then what is neurodivergency in your mind?

17:22 Absolutely absolutely? So Somatic coaching or somatic healing is about working with the body. So soma means body, and so somatic coaching or healing or there's also somatic therapy, right, people can can get licensed in it as well. Is work a lot about. Working with the nervous system and the subconscious mind. So a lot of getting in tune with your body and things like that. So an example of somatic healing or coaching or somatic work would be something like breath work, right like that kind of stuff, really being more in tune with the body with nervous system regulation. And what I've found as somebody and.

18:06 This will go into the neurodivergence stuff, which I'll talk about in just a minute, but something that I found as somebody who is very intellectual, right, like I can intellectualize things very very well, understand things very very well. And I was noticing there were patterns in my life or outcomes in my life that were I didn't want, right, like the results I did not want, And I was like, why does this keep happening? I understand the exact steps that are happening that are making this happen. I understand that this is not the path I want to take, and yet here we are again, right And so for me, when that the solution, right And what was really effective for me and what I've found with other with clients friends, all of that is the somatic work gets it kind of gets the brain out of the way in a way.

18:55 In a sense, you're not working with the conscious mind that understands all the things right, you're getting kind of beyond that to the subconscious part that is kind of steering the ship. So I found, at least for me, I haven't done a lot of talk therapy, but I've done a lot of somatic work and things like that. That but I've seen this with a lot of other people, is that, like talk therapy can get you so far right and you might be able to really. Not necessarily real effecting. By the way, in my opiny, exactly exactly. And so that's where I think somatic work is such such a powerful tool. And I got into it for my own healing because I was like, there are things that I am just sick of dealing with and sick of thinking about, and I would like them to be eliminated, right, I would like.

19:41 To solve this problem. And so somatic work really helped. Me with that, and then I got certified so that I could share it with other people. And then Neudivergence is just variations in how the brain works. So you'll have neurodivergent brain operating system and maybe a neurotypical so somebody who operates more quote unquote normal, I would say, but I don't don't like to like throw those normal abnormal kind of words around there. But neurodivergence can include a variety of conditions like dyslexia, autism, ADHD, things like that where the brain is actually often from a And I'm not an expert in this, I just live with it, and I've done a lot of research on it, so I know a lot from lived experience and just my own fascination. But a lot of the times, either people are born this way or there are like very early stage developmental things that happen that are going to kind of rewire how the brain operates.

20:45 Isn't it interesting, especially neural divergence, And when I was looking at your bio and so forth, I really did a little bit of research on that, and it's fascinating. And you mentioned it. You know, You've got all of these diagnoses of neurodivergence, ADHD, autism, so on and so forth. And what I have found is so often when we see something or experience something that isn't quote normal. That we have to put a label on it. Yeah. Now, you know, I had a son who when we were moving and going into high school and leaving the particular school I was at and he had been challenged a little bit with some stuff, and you know, I said, listen, I'm just curious, and it was not going to make a difference, but I'm curious, so go ahead and test.

21:41 And so he got tested, and he came back, well, we need to put him on this medication and so on and so forth, you know that type of thing. And when we moved and started a new school, I bought him a little I don't even know what you call it now, but we use our phones now. But when he went to school, he used that in order to do his homework, and actually he learned how to print on the printers in the school as well as control the TVs sometimes. But bottom line, bottom line, he did not go on any medication and he was not labeled with any of those diagnoses because what I learned as I had attended different conferences and so forth in my idental profession, is that he was just a spatial thinker. Now, even today, as I talked to him, he's starting to label himself a little bit with some of those things.

22:41 And there's no question that there are real issues like that. But I find it's interesting that when we find that we think differently that we get labeled and sometimes that labeling is not accurate or can affect our overall sense of who we are. Whereas as I looked up neurodivergent women, here's what I found and you probably already know this. Exceptional emotional intelligence and empathy, creativity and outside the box problem solving, deep focus on meaningful or passion driven work. I love words of affirmation, keep going.

23:22 Strong intuition and connection to subtle detail or patterns. And it says they struggle with overstimulation, anxiety, low self esteem because they're not understood, or exhaustion trying to live up to the neurotypical expectations. But the reality is is it's a unique ability that if you look at the positive side of that, it's amazing. Oh yeah. And so I will say with the whole with labeling and stuff like that, because I don't like to do a ton of labeling either. And I will say, like when we're on social media and you're scrolling and all of that, like it's what helps somebody be like, oh this might be for me or I can relate to this, right, So like just from a communication standpoint, it it can be helpful but the labelings for me. And when I kind of took ownership of the neudivergent label for myself, it as I started to learn more about these things and in my own healing and stuff and start you know, getting fed things from my algorithm whatever social media platform I was on, I was like, huh.

24:29 That sounds familiar. This is very helpful. Does this apply to me? Interesting? And as I did more research and like you know, spoke with professionals and stuff like that, realized, oh my gosh, like this this makes my life experience and makes me make so much more sense. And so for me, it was something that helped me to understand myself in many many ways, understand understand my entire life through a very much different lens, and a lens that made a lot lot more sense. And also because. I agree, I think that for me, at least, my neurodivergence and I will say too, like, there are people who are neurodivergent and it is a very big handicap in their lives, or they're handicapped as a result of it, right, or it's just a big, big impediment. So I'm very blessed and grateful to very incredibly high functioning and to where I now through thankfully no medication or anything like that, but through a lot of healing work, awareness education, like all of that, amout a place where I get to really lean into the benefits of it, and I get to really like the cool parts of it and the excite, the fun parts of it. The stuff that I think is just fascinating and wouldn't want to change at all, which I think are part of that. I get to like crank those up a lot, and the stuff that makes it very challenging, that stuff isn't that challenging anymore because I've learned how to manage it right. And it's

26:02 tough beat sometimes because it's you know, I think people sometimes can think, oh, we'll just like heal it and fix it or blah blah blah that sort of thing, and it's like, no, no, no, Like, my brain is actually different, you know, like and people who are like this, like my our brains and how they're wired are actually different. And yes, there's healing that you can do, absolutely, but I think it's more about learning how to, yes, doing the healing work, but then learning how to like dance with your uniqueness and the other part to that too, is like, you know, neurodivergent versus neurotypical. Everyone's brain is different, right, So like what it's like in my brain is going to be so different than anyone else's brain. And so keeping that in mind, even a neurotypical person to another neurotypical person, like their brains operate differently. So I think like really owning your uniqueness and understanding yourself and then keeping in mind that anyone whether it's your the person you're in a relationship with, your family, members, friends, clients, whoever, it is like their brains are going to operate how their brains operate, and you get to understand, you know, do your best to understand that so you can work.

27:14 With it well. And you know what's interesting, Now we're talking about three different things here. We're talking about women who experience greater masculinity in their life and have not really been able to tap into the feminine aspect. We're talking about neurodivergency. We're talking about you know, somatic healing and so forth. But here here's let's go back to relationships for a minute. Okay, you know you talked about the fact that you really had that masculine energy, and we're not really tapped into the feminine energy that you had. And you know, I think with the women's movement, and please forgive me if I say anything that might be, but it seems to like with the women's movement, and justifiably so, because of the patriarchal history of our culture, that in my mind is not valid that you know, we have the women's movement, they really were forced to move into that masculinity role in order to just experience their own personal identity. And yet what happens then is, as you did, you know, you end up marrying someone that's usually you're attracted to your opposite in some senses, at least initially until you figure things out, and so all of a sudden they become they become the masculine part of a relationship. Well,

28:46 it's fine if you've got someone a man who's more on that right brain, you know, feminine whatever you want to call it aspect, but so many times those women also end up marrying a masculine man, and that becomes a major issue because then on the man's side, they're looking for that natural feminine woman, who's kind, who's loving, who's all of that that is not being experienced because of the masculinity focus of their wife or their their you know, a spouse. What are your thoughts on that?

29:26 So many thoughts. So I agree that you know, the women's movement, feminism, that kind of stuff, Like I will say, it's not I don't know, complicated, but I want to say, like, you know, a lot of that that happened, like you know, changes that my mom saw in her life and stuff like that, Like I am so grateful that so many people fought hard so that like women in my generation, we have choices, right, we have so many choices we do, you know, whatever we want with our lives, all that kind of stuff. Get get bank accounts, like by property whatever it is, right, like we can we can do all these things from a like legal standpoint and right standpoint and all of that. And I will say I completely agree to your point as well, that it pushed a lot of women like in that like pursuit of finding their own identity or finding you know, our own identity as women and stuff like that. Women were pushed into the direction of like be more like men, right, instead of like like owning more what it means to be a woman, it was really like, go out and do the same things as men because you're the same, right, And I know it wasn't like you're the same, but but that like message of equality got pushed, as I think in a sense, and obviously I wasn't there witnessing it, but encouraged a lot of women to act like men and to step into those more masculine roles in a lot of way, which I think, you know, I'm seeing

30:58 in my generation a lot of women who went that like boss, babe, go getter kind of of life and chose that path and then are like, oh, but why why do I struggle with relationships? Why am I still single? I would have wanted a family. Why did I spend so much time like grinding in my career and stuff like that, like why wasn't I prioritizing this earlier? Why didn't I choose better earlier in my life? And stuff like that. And so I think that on the one hand, like, yes, it's important for women to have equal rights and choices and all of that, absolutely, and yes, the Women's movement I think pushed women to pursue independence the way that it looks for men. Also, wow, which was to our detriment, right, like, and that's not that, you know, I think there's a lot of and especially like in the work that I do again, like I'm a very like independent and self sufficient women and stuff like that, and so like I've done a lot of work to undo a lot of that for myself, just that programming. But I see a lot of women working too or like struggling with like how like undoing that programming because they're finding, wait a second, this isn't this isn't the life I want. Sure I've made a lot of money or I've had this success and stuff like that, but like this isn't what I want, you know, and it's which is scary.

32:29 I think. Well, and I've even seen the discrimination at least you know, in my generation and a few generations before me or after me, where there's really a discrimination and almost bullying of women who want to be at home, have children, be a homemaker and they're kind of put down because they really have achieved. That feminine side for them. And how do you help those women that are experiencing that sense of you know, I just want to be a mom, I want to be a wife, I want to be a homemaker. I want to be able to show forth that love and kindness and so forth. How do you help them overcome the societal expectations and in some respects discrimination.

33:17 Yeah, I mean, ultimately, I think, and it's probably easier said than done for a lot of people. But the only people person like forces you need to be looking for approval from and worried about, like I would say, are gods, and then like the closest people in your life, So whether that's a spouse, yourself, right, so God, yourself, maybe your spouse, your closest friends, like that sort of thing, and not worrying about or putting a lot of weight on the outside chatter. And again easier said than done, because you might have family members who are bullying you or talking down to you because that's that's what you want to sue instead of maybe you know, maybe less focused on a career and more focused on relationship and stuff like that. And I would say just getting when you get really anchored in the vision you want for your life, allowing that to lead you and trusting that.

34:17 I would also say to that point too, that I think because I see a lot of discourse on social media because you know, social media is so like black and white and extremes and stuff like that. Right of like people talk, whether it's women or people like wanting to coach women around, like just marry a wealthy provider man and don't worry about it and you'll have this soft life and not worry stress about anything or anything like that. And while like at pure face value, sure that sounds nice and still having to live in reality, right and be responsible and stuff like that. And so I think for women, like it's very good to have a certain level of education, to have skills yourself in case you need it or if you get I don't know, bored or anything like that. But also, right, I think there is a lot of risk potentially to putting your entire livelihood, future, everything like that dependent on one person that's not you. And that doesn't mean I'm not meaning to say don't trust your partner or your husband anything like that, but it's I think a good idea to still have like some of it, whether it's your own money or your own stuff, or your own career or skills to be able to fall back on just in case because stuff happens, things don't always.

35:47 Go according to plan all of that. There are plenty of stories of women whose relationships have started out like that perfect fairy tale and then went to a very dark place and stuff. And so I think it's just good to be to also, like you know, be to protect yourself too well. And you know, I always talked about the difference between either or or bullfanned. And you know, one of the things that I've talked about before in my interviews with people, they've talked about it. I've listened. But you know, women who have reached their forties or fifties, they have been the mother, they've been the homemaker. They've just enjoyed that, and all of a sudden, guess what, the kids are gone.

36:34 And. Probably eighty percent of that focus that they had with their kids is no longer there, and now what do they do? Have You found that as you work with women, you find women in that situation where all of a sudden they're they're experiencing some real trouble because all of a sudden, their kids are gone, and that whole focus of what you would call the feminism, the homemaking and so forth, there isn't as much opportunity there. And now, as you say, they need to find things to do so that they don't get literally bored, right. And because it might not be a thing where like oh no, I'm out on my own, but it could just be like oh wait now, like what I was pouring my heart and soul and time into, Like I don't have that anymore, and I don't necessarily have hobbies, Like what do I do?

37:23 Right? And I will say, like if if a woman is not. You know, feeling full emotionally and all of that kind of stuff, not that you know it's it's she's in charge of herself, but like a woman's energy is felt. And so I think, like a. In a healthy relationship, if that woman's feeling unfulfilled, even if it's for her own purpose and stuff like that, like that's that is going to be have a ripple effect into the family and all of that. And so I think, And I've worked with a few women who are you know, in their fifties, sixties, that sort of thing a bit older than me, which is is so cool and like such a special thing for me to like give advice to somebody that I would likely go to for advice, but worked with women who you know, might be a little bit younger than my mom and who are like, ugh, I didn't like I never really was able to explore this kind of stuff or be as like unapologetically me and really like own my feminine power like growing up and stuff like that. And so I've I've had women work with me in coaching context, do programs with me and stuff like that, who dive into this journey as like the empty nester right or like when their kids are in college and stuff like that, and they have chosen to really like go on that personal growth journey, in that embodiment journey for themselves and find so much fulfillment from it and just like it like like lights this new kind of fire in them, which is really really cool to see. But I do

38:55 think it is something where it's like, okay, like in this now, in this chapter, in this season of your life, like what do you Okay, You've got a whole bunch of time and energy to work with, Like what sounds exciting to you, what feels exciting, Let's okay, then let's let's explore it. Let's let's see what that looks like. So in a brief amount of time, how on earth do you help a woman who is so focused on that masculine energy, how do you help them to move and open up that feminine side and not as well diminish the masculine a little bit and get it more into a balance the bull and rather than the either.

39:41 Or yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I like to start small, like little, like baby steps of that. And I remember when I was first starting in that journey myself, even just with my personal growth and stuff. I remember like when I started meditating or you know, sitting in silence, because that was so hard for me. I would check my I would set a timer on my phone, close my eyes and I'd be like, okay, I set it for five minutes or three minutes or whatever it was, and I'd be like, I must have something's wrong, something must be wrong. And I open my eyes to check and I'm like, oh, I've gone ninety seconds, right, Like wow, that's That's where I'm at. I can't even sit longer than ninety seconds. And so in the beginning of this journey, we start small.

40:24 And so there's a few things. So if we think about masculine energy is output energy, penetrative energy, it's more the thinking, the action, like decisiveness, all of that like again that linear output energy, whereas feminine energy is more our being, our emotions, more intuitive, more about the feelings, is more about receiving. And so what I like to do a few things I like to do with women is let's say, like set a five minute timer and go sit outside on your front lawn and just sit there on the ground, close your eyes, and for five minutes, I just want you to tap into your sensory experiences.

41:05 Feminine energy is also about sensuality, which isn't just you know, sexual in nature, but sensuality as in being connected to your senses right and very very present in the moment. So go sit outside for five minutes and notice how many things you can hear? Like how many different kinds of birds can you hear? Making noise? Is the like are the leaves rustling in the wind? That sort of thing? Is a car driving by and neighbor taking a walk? Like what can you hear? Then? Like what can you smell? Can you smell the grass? Can you smell frap flowers around you? All of that? How does it feel? Is the grass beneath you scratchy? Is the ground hard? Is there a rock under that side of your hip?

41:46 Or something like that, right, do you is there a breeze that you can feel on your skin, like is the sun shining on you? So just really tuning into that sensory experience for a couple of minutes out of time. So that's one of the really simple things. Another thing I love to encourage women to do, especially my like hyper independent. I don't need anyone's help. I am a boss babe, can do all the things myself. Kind of woman is to be open to receive help support, like even not even just help, but just to receive even when you don't need it. Because that's that's the difference, right Because I find and I used to be like this too, could do every single thing myself, and I know a lot of women can relate. But I would ask for help once I was already well past my breaking point, like I'm in breakdown, like crying, having a meltdown, and then I'll ask someone for help because I physically and mentally can't actually do it myself anymore. But doesn't it make a little bit more sense to maybe ask for some support before you get to that moment, right before you're forced into it. And So another little thing is like I said, just being open to receive, right, And so this can look as simple as and I use this example all the time. But like I go, there's a store around the corner from me that where I get my spring water filled up in those big huge jugs that are super heavy and stuff like that.

43:11 And so when I get those filled up, and the employee, not every single time, but will often ask because I'm usually coming in with a few of those, hey would you like some help getting those out to your car? And they have carts and stuff like that, but if I'm being asked that, I will generally, and again this is an employee that works there, right, so there's no I'm not really concerned about like weird energy or if I'm you know, like anything like that. If it's a man and stuff, and I'll say, you know what, that would be amazing, thank you so much. Can I do that myself? Absolutely? Have I done it myself? Yes I have. Would it be nice and make my life feel a little softer and easier if someone helped me carry these heavy.

43:53 Water jugs out to my car? Yes, right? So being open to receive, because something else I've noticed with women like this is it's they're very blocked off to receiving, especially to receiving from men, and often see that receiving as oh, well, if I accept this, then I do I owe you something like uh do I owe you? And it can even we can even get so like boil it down so much to even compliments. Right, And again I want women to like use discernment. If a man is offering and stuff like that, you want to use your judgment because there could be an expectation or like the energy might be off and stuff like that. But even if like notice with your friends or like.

44:36 Someone out when you're the grocery shopping or something, if someone comments you, oh my gosh, like I love your outfit, right, instead of or like oh you're so oh my gosh, you're so funny, you're so pretty, whatever it is instead is your knee jerk reaction to. Say, oh no, no, no, no, no, like no, oh no, you are right to. Just like like ping pong it right back at them or deflect it or not even hear it, not even receive it, or can you actually sit there and receive that compliment? Right, Because if you have trouble just receiving somebody's kind words, it's gonna be a lot harder to receive somebody's actions. And so if a lot of these women are like I just want a man who's takes action and is a provider and like protector and masculine.

45:23 Right, Masculine men like to take action. They like to like have servant hearts and stuff like that, right, they like to pour into and like be supportive and stuff. And so if you're not able to receive somebody's words to you, it's gonna be a lot harder to receive someone's actions, and you're not going to feel worthy of the actions and everything. So that's even another one of those tiny, tiny ways to like like release that like masculine kind of grip on things and be more in your feminine is just by way of receiving in those those little moments. Okay, great, and we've run out of time. Okay, so I think we could do another one here and have a whole discussion, so as we And how do people find you, and particularly how do they find your podcast, because I'm sure this is what you talk about on your podcast.

46:13 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So you can find me at Laurensalon dot com. You can also find me at Lauren Salon on Instagram as well as TikTok. My last name is spelled s A l a u N and my podcast is called Amplify with Lauren, And yes, we talk about all kinds of things, personal growth, somatics, healing, relationships, dating, all of that fantastic. And so as we close, what would be that final message that you want to share with the audience. Yeah, absolutely, I would say. So I'm all about authenticity and magnetism, and so I would say the most magnetic thing that you can do is being unapologetically yourself. So being your most authentic self. And when you stop trying to be what you think everybody else wants you to be, right like fitting into what everyone else thinks you should do and be what the world wants. When you stop doing that, you become very very irresistible to the people and the opportunities that are meant to you. So if you want to be the most magnetic, be your unapologetically authentic self.

47:27 Love it. Lauren, Thank you so much. Absolutely, thank you for having me. It's been great. And like I say, it always amazes me how quickly time goes by, I know, and particularly with our discussion here, It's like there's so many things we didn't even get to and like I say, i'd love to have you on the show again and talk even more about some of those things. Absolutely, i'd be happy to. I would be happy to thank you so much for having me. And folks, thanks for listening. And I hope you've enjoyed this because I've really enjoyed this one, so I hope you have to and look forward to having you join us again soon. This is doctor Doug Pain, no mistake,