Ep. 13: Willpower Authority: Is Your Heart Really In It?

Sandy: Welcome to Human Design Field Notes. This is where we learn human design in a way that's simple, fun, and actually useful in real life. The kind of thing you can try for yourself, talk about with your girlfriends, and before long, you'll want to know everyone's chart. And I'm not just teaching it, I'm testing it too. I'm rebuilding my coaching business using my own human design and I'll be sharing the field notes as I go. The experiments, the insights, the wins, the mistakes, and probably a few things we can all have a good laugh about. Because human design isn't meant to be stared at on a chart. It's meant to be lived. I'm your host, Sandy Connery. Let's see where this takes us. Welcome to episode 13. Today we're talking about willpower authority. Imagine that you have been offered a place in a prestigious PhD program in Europe. And it's really an incredible opportunity. You get to live abroad, you get to study something you've always been fascinated with, you're passionate about, you get to work with like brilliant people that you have admired from afar. Your friends and family are thrilled. They're already planning visits to visit you. And they're saying, like, are you kidding me? You've got to go. I'll come, I'll come visit. It'll be so great. And logically they might be right. It's the kind of opportunity that people dream about. But there's one problem. You don't actually want to spend the next four years doing a PhD. You love the idea of living in Europe. you love the idea of having a PhD, you might even love the idea of like telling people that you're going to go that you're going to Europe for a PhD. But the actual commitment Four years of research and writing and studying and like rearranging your life, like your heart isn't into it. And that is the distinction for somebody with willpower authority. It's not whether the opportunity is good. it's about whether you genuinely want what the opportunity requires of you. You might have the ability, you have the intelligence, you've got the resources to make it all happen, but you don't have the desire. So, just because you can do something doesn't mean you want to do something. And if you are someone with willpower authority, that little distinction between can do it and want to do it is a very big deal. So today we're talking about one of the rarest decision-making authorities in human design: willpower authority. It's also called ego or heart authority. And one quick reminder for anyone who is new to human design or new to the podcast, when I say authority, Your authority is your internal decision-making guide. It is how you make decisions. It is the part of you that you tune into to help you decide on big decisions. So instead of automatically letting your mind make every decision, you figure out what your authority is and you use that to make your decisions with. And if you want to know what your authority is, you need your own human design chart. So you can head over to sandyconnery.com. Pop in your birth date information, and it will tell you what type of authority you have, what type or how best for you to make your decisions. So the last episodes we've talked about emotional, sacral, and splenic authority. And today we're talking about willpower, which is a little bit different. Willpower authority is about desire and motivation and commitment and whether your heart is genuinely into something. So the question for you isn't simply like, does this make sense? Is this a good idea? It's do I really want this? Am I willing to put my energy behind this? So what's interesting about willpower authority is it is incredibly rare. So it's one in every 6,000 people have willpower authority. And only two energy types can have it, which are manifestors. And projector. So there's not very many many of you out there who have this. To have this willpower authority, you do need to have a defined heart center. So that is one of the little triangles, the tiniest triangle on the right hand side, if you're looking at your body graph. And it's worth spending a moment talking about the heart center. the heart center is associated with willpower and promises and commitments and material resources and really having the drive to make something happened. but an an important thing to understand about the heart center is it doesn't mean you have endless willpower, right? This little heart center, this energy works in pulses, much like the heart. It beats. You make an effort, you follow through, and then you take a rest. So this authority, this willpower authority or heart authority isn't about pushing harder or proving how much you can accomplish. It's about deciding on commitments that genuinely matter to you. You know, as they say, like that that your heart is really in it. And that makes me think like with all of the different types of authority, there's these little expressions we use all the time in our society, like, is your heart really into it? Or for s sacral authority, it's like, what does your gut say? Or for splenic authority, it's like, what does your intu intuition say? Or for emotional authority, we always will say, you gotta follow your emotions. Like you you've gotta follow your feelings. And so it's fascinating to me that we have these things to like help us tap into our decision making. What human design what human design teaches us is that we don't have decision making with intuition and emotions and inner and our gut and our heart. We need to know which one our body, our energy works best with. And again, you can get that on your chart. Anyway, that was an aside. Okay, so what does a willpower authority, yes or no, feel like? So a yes might feel like a genuine desire. determination, motivation, a sense of ownership, wanting to make something happen, feeling that the commitment is worth the energy. A no might feel like kind of half-hearted, half-heartedness, like it might feel like an obligation. There may be reluctance, you might feel undervalued, you might knowing you could do something, but having no real desire to follow through, right? And again, having the ability to do something is not the same as having the willpower or the will to do it. So someone with willpower authority might be extremely capable of organizing an event or running a business or leading a project. But again, that doesn't mean that every opportunity deserves their commitment and their energy, right? So let me give you a couple of examples of this in everyday life. So let's say that somebody offers you a business collaboration. it's great exposure. They've got a big list. It could be some new clients, it could be potentially good money, and it's someone that you really respect, that you really like them. So again, on paper, it looks fantastic. But as you talk about it, you realize, you're not particularly excited. You don't really want to take the meetings. You don't really want the opportunity or the responsibilities. You don't want the ongoing commitment. So for someone experimenting with their own willpower authority, the question is, am I choosing to do this because I actually want it or because I think I should want it? Again. Paper, it looks good, checks all the boxes. But when I kind of check in with myself, my heart isn't into it. Or another example would be: let's say you have a friend who's organizing a really big event, and she helped ask you for your help. You know you'd be really good at it. You've done this before, you've got the skills, you've got the contacts, you've got the experience. But the thought of spending weekends, you know, organizing, emailing spreadsheets, or coordinating volunteers. just makes you want to disappear, right? You may genuinely care about your friend and you want her event to succeed, but that doesn't automatically mean that you need to take on that commitment. Again, being capable of doing something doesn't mean that you are actually available for it. You don't want it. So challenges experienced with someone with willpower authority is number one, you're saying yes because you should, right? I think that This could be true for all of the authorities. We're agreeing because we feel the pressure to help, to say, yes, I should accept this. I should want this. Like everyone else thinks it's a a great idea, a great opportunity. But with willpower authority, the question is like, what do I actually want? Like when I look into my heart, what do I want? The second challenge is like feeling guilty about putting yourself first or like this. feeling of selfishness. So we're taught that being selfish is bad, right? We should be helpful, we should think of others, we need to be accommodating, we need to be generous, we need to be available to everyone. But willpower authority, you need to consider your own wants and needs. That is essential. That does not mean disregarding everybody else, but it does mean recognizing that your energy, your time, your commitments have value and you can care about other people. Yes, but that doesn't mean you say n yes to everything they ask of you, right? The third one is overcommitting. So someone sometimes when we have this authority, we might just like in the moment really enthusiastically agree to something because it sounds so good right now and the other person is so excited about it. But we haven't carefully considered whether we truly want that opportunity, that responsibility that comes with it. And then afterwards, they're kind of like dragging themselves through whatever this commitment they agreed to, and that's no fun, of course. The fourth one is forgetting to rest. So, as I said before, with willpower authority, you have a defined heart center. And this is not a motor that runs at full speed forever, right? Rest really, really matters. So before you make any more promises or commitments, you've got to ask, like. Am I generally excited about this? Do I actually want this? Or am I just so used to pushing myself and saying yes to everything? Do I have the energy for this? Can I carry on, carry out the the expectations of myself? And the last one that willpower authority people may struggle with is like getting confused around desire, like what they want with impulse. So not everything that you want, every desire that you have needs to be acted on, right? You may want something, and if you've learned through human design that your willpower is all about wanting things, I just want to remind you that not every desire needs to Have action taken right now, right? You can want something and still consider its consequences and the responsibilities and whether you have the energy and the resources to pursue it. So the experiment for willpower authority is to pay attention to like really authentic desire without treating every impulse or every want as an instruction to go take action. So if you have somebody with willpower authority in your life. Here's a few ideas of how you can support them. Ask what they want. That is the word for willpower authorities want. What do you want? Not what do they think that they should do. Remember, most of the people in your life won't understand human design and luckily you do. And you can print the chart of all the people in your life, all your loved ones and kind of Learn how they operate, right? So if you do have someone with willpower, ask what they want. Like instead of saying like this is a really great opportunity, you really should take that PhD in Europe, you know, you have to take it, you have to do it. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The question you ask them is, do you want this? Like when you get really quiet and listen to your heart, do you want this? Is this something you feel motivated to commit to? Second point is let them talk about their desires. Let them describe what they want without having to debate them. Let them just really feel into their own desires. Also respect that their energy may come in bursts and that they're going to need rest between these like things that they want and the action that they take. Let them rest in between. another helpful question for them is what's in this for you? And I don't mean like in some kind of transactional way, like what do you get out of this? But I mean in a invite them to genuinely consider whether this exchange, this decision that they're making, this opportunity, this thing that they're gonna act on potentially, does this feel worthwhile to them? Again. Do they have the energy? Do they have the resources? Do they really want it? But that's another great question is what's in this for you? So that will get them out of like people pleasing or like feeling just obligated that they have to say yes because that's what they've done their whole life. Like, what's in this for you? Really consider this. Like, do you want this? Do you have the energy? does this feel worthwhile? Now, if we talk about kids, children with willpower authority, Let's use another example. So if a child is athletic and is is perfectly capable of joining a let's say a school soccer team, that all their friends are playing, all the parents are excited, like this is gonna be wonderful, all our kids are gonna be playing on this team, but the child doesn't really h want it, they don't have any interest. if you know that your child has willpower authority. Rather than immediately assuming that they need to be encouraged and kind of bolstered and like, let's do this. You get curious about what they want. ask some questions, like, what do you want? What are you excited about? Is there something else that you would rather try? Like, what do you want right now? And the idea here is to help the child recognize their own desires, their own wants, and help them develop their own confidence in their own decision making. Like encourage them by asking these questions. And if you go back, all the past episodes have a little section on how to support a child with each of the different authorities. And I think it's just so important to understand what our children, how they operate, and to encourage them and ask the right questions. To help them make the decisions that are in the best alignment for them. Okay, so for those of you, those rare individuals out there that have their willpower authority, here's a little experiment I'd like you to run for the next seven days. Pay attention to the decisions you have to make throughout the next week, to the the commitments that you are considering. And when something comes across your place plate, ask yourself, do I actually want this? Do I actually want this? Are you saying I want to? Do you find yourself saying I want to or I should? And Before agreeing to anything, consider again what you want, consider your energy level, your desire, and the actual commitments involved. And at the end of the week, you can reflect. Like, did you notice that there was there any difference between what you wanted and what you felt obligated to do? if you really tapped into your desires, did that make anything more clear for you? Or did you find yourself like making promises or saying yes when you were already kind of exhausted, tired, depleted? Just know that you don't have to act on every desire. You can keep those wants, you can keep those desires for a later time when maybe things line up a little bit better. But the point of just like watching yourself make decisions is you want to become more familiar with what genuine want, like genuine motivation feels like for you. So just one more thing I want you to take away from today's episode if you are someone with willpower authority, that your ability to do something doesn't automatically mean that it's the right commitment for you. Your want for something doesn't automatically mean that you have to take action on it, right? So pay attention to what you want, plus take a look at your ability to fulfill that commitment. Okay, that's it for this episode. Again, if you're like, what are you talking about, Sandy, with this human design stuff? Please go get your own chart. Understand one of the most important things I think you can learn is what your authority type is, how you make decisions, how you best call in opportunities for yourself. So go print your chart out. It is a free download off my website, sandyconnery.com. And if you want to take it to the next step, let's Book of reading and let's get into it together. Thank you everyone for listening. We'll see you in the next episode where we're gonna talk about self-projected authority. These are the people that need to talk things out, hear themselves to make a decision. We'll see you then. If you're ready to start learning your own human design, you can get your free chart at sandyconnery.com. Just click on free HD chart. And if you're enjoying the show, make sure you subscribe, share it with a friend, and follow along. Now go get your chart and let's get you into human design.