Ep. 14: Voice Authority: Talk It Out

Sandy: Welcome to Human Design Field Notes. This is where we learn human design in a way that's simple, fun, and actually useful in real life. The kind of thing you can try for yourself, talk about with your girlfriends, and before long, you'll want to know everyone's chart. And I'm not just teaching it, I'm testing it too. I'm rebuilding my coaching business using my own human design and I'll be sharing the field notes as I go. The experiments, the insights, the wins, the mistakes, and probably a few things we can all have a good laugh about. Because human design isn't meant to be stared at on a chart. It's meant to be lived. I'm your host, Sandy Connery. Let's see where this takes us. Welcome to episode 14. Today we're gonna talk about voice authority. if you have ever been talking to a friend about a decision, and halfway through the conversation you're like, you know what? I know exactly what I should do. Your friend hasn't actually said anything or offered any deep wisdom. They haven't solved your problem, they've barely even spoken. But somehow hearing yourself talk about the issue, the problem, hearing yourself speak has made the answer very clear. Well, in human design, there is an authority that works exactly like this. It's called voice authority, and today we're going to explore how it works, what a yes or no might sound like, and why having someone around you who knows when not to speak can be incredibly valuable. So, first let's review in human design what is authority? Authority is your personal decision making. process. There are seven different types. It is how you are encouraged to make decision decisions rather than letting your mind analyze absolutely everything. So for someone with voice authority, clarity, what they should do comes through listening to themselves speak. these people discover what they want, what they want to do by literally hearing themselves talk. And if you want to know if you are a voice authority or what your specific authority is, please just grab your own human design chart and you can get that from sandyconnery.com. It is a free download. Okay, so voice authority, who has it? First of all, voice authority can only happen in projectors. That is the only energy type. the only type in human design that can have this authority. It is one of the rarer types of authorities. It it's about two and a half percent of the population. So how does it work? Voice authority, as I just said, is like the process of speaking or hearing yourself and recognizing what feels true. So a little bit of the mechanics of it on the body graph. For everyone, our identity and our sense of direction is in our identity center, which is the big diamond in the middle if you're looking at the body graph on your chart. For voice authority projectors, their identity center is directly connected to their throat center or to their voice. This means that their truth is exp like who they are and the direction that they want to go, that identity. Is directly expressed through what they say, through their voice. It's not through what they think. It is not through a spontaneous like gut hit like myself. it is not through an emotional wave that they need to kind of, you know, feel through and give it to some clarity. It comes from their voice. So they're tapping into this inner wisdom that they have and literally giving their inner wisdom a voice. It's Listening to their own words and noticing how it feels. What does it feel like when I talk this idea out loud? This is incredibly crucial for these people to make decisions. So this speaking can bring such great clarity and and better understanding of the next step, the direction that they should go. So it's like their inner knowing moves from the core of who they are straight to the words that come out of their mouth. And here's one important distinction. When they are talking to somebody, they're not talking to get someone else's answer or opinions or ideas. They're talking simply to hear their own voice and their own truth. It's not just about what they're saying, like what are the words that are coming out. It's about how they feel when they say it. Does this and and these are the really crucial questions for voice authority is does this decision feel like me? Is this me? Does it make me feel happy? Is this direction that I want to go? And it's really identifying this decision, you know, A or B, which one makes me feel like me, right? Because that identity is real is connected directly to the voice. And also for voice, you do not need necessarily a a a human being to speak to, another person to speak to. you could, you know, record yourself on a voice memo on your phone. You could talk to yourself out loud. you could, I don't know, talk to your dog or cat, like just getting it out and practicing recognizing what like what it what truth actually sounds like. For you. So that's exactly what we're gonna talk about next. So, what does a voice authority yes and no feel like? So, when talking, a yes might feel like your words just flow easily and naturally. You sound excited. There's excitement in the voice. You sound confident and clear when you're talking about whatever this opportunity. You feel recognized, you feel seen. The decision feels like something you genuinely want, and you hear yourself talking. And there's a little and you think like there's a little voice in your head saying, Yes, that's me. That's me. so you know, if somebody asked if you wanted to teach a workshop, you start talking about what you'd teach and what it would look like, who would be there, what you want the attendees to experience, and like all these ideas that you have. And before you know it, you've got the whole thing planned, right? There's like excitement in your voice. That's a yes. A no. looks like or sounds like your voice sounds a little bit tight and confused. Like you might be talking in circles or trying to constantly justify it, going around and around, trying to talk yourself into it, you probably won't sound enthusiastic. You'll feel you'll sound very uncertain. the opportunity does not feel like an expression of who you are and the direction you want to go. You may not feel recognized or appreciated. And you'll hear yourself saying what you should want versus what you actually want. so if someone maybe offers you a new position at work and you just keep explaining, this would be so good, this is a great opportunity. But when you talk about actually doing that new job, your enthusiasm just Tanks. It just disappears. Like that contrast is what you need to notice. So one thing to recognize that nervousness doesn't mean like automatically no, and excitement doesn't mean automatically yes. You can still feel those emotions, but when you talk about this opportunity, it's how you feel when you speak that needs to make the decision. Okay, here are some challenges. If you have voice authority, you might find yourself getting stuck in your head. So instead of talking things Things through with a sounding board or a trusted partner or friend, you just spend days thinking and researching and making lists and going around in circles and trying to find that perfect logical answer, right? All you need to do is speak it out and listen to yourself. Two, you might find yourself asking everyone else for advice. You can call 10 friends and get 10 different answers. And now you're even more confused, right? You Don't need other people to decide for you. You need to take one of those ten friends, a a neutral sounding board, and just speak to them and discover your own answer. Three is choosing the wrong person, the wrong sounding board. You need someone to simply listen to you. but if they're if that person is like constantly interrupting you and constantly telling you what they think or what they would do, or have maybe expressing their own fears or you know, with giving you advice, that's not who you need. You need someone who is just neutral, who has no skin in the game and is just willing to sit and listen and witness you coming to your own truth. You might feel like or have been told that you talk too much, especially as a child. people may say to you, like, Okay, just stop talking and just decide. Would you stop talking about the decision and just figure it out? and sometimes if that has happened To you as a child, you might have stopped verbalizing your thoughts, you know, for fear of being judged as someone as someone who talks too much. but that talking, that speaking out loud is exactly what you need to do to find clarity in major decisions. and the last one is you might find yourself saying yes to opportunities that don't necessarily feel like you. So you might accept a situation or an opportunity because it's like impressive and it looks good on paper or you should do it. It's what is expected of you. You know, you don't want to let anyone down. It's making other people happy if you agree to this thing that you don't really want to do. so it's really important to figure out your direction, your truth, and not, you know, play into this people pleasing behavior. Now, if you are someone who is in relationship with someone who has voice authority, here is my best advice. They may need to talk about a decision without wanting you to solve it. So if your partner comes home and says, I think I'm gonna quit my job. And you immediately jump in with like, my God, we can't do that. We need the money. What about the mortgage? W have you thought of this? Have you thought of other jobs? Is there can you talk to your boss? Like just you're just verbally attacking them with like all the problems with that question. meanwhile, they actually haven't figured out if they want to quit their job or not. They just want to explore this idea out loud with you. So the question Is do you want my advice or do you just need me to listen? And that will give them space to just talk and think out loud. you can ask open-ended questions, you can notice and reflect back to them what seems to be exciting to them or where they kind of sound flat. and every idea or everything that they express You don't need to take that as like final decision. She's gonna do this or he's gonna do that. It's they're just using their own process to come to a decision. They they might have to say something out loud to really discover what it means to them, if they want it or not, and you don't have to take it as it's a done deal. Now, if you have children who have voice authority, you really want to teach them that it's okay to express themselves. Encourage them to talk through ideas and decisions. Instead of immediately saying what they should do, ask questions as one does with all the projectors in our lives, ask open-ended questions. So let's say that your child is deciding between playing baseball this summer and taking drum lessons. Now, clearly you want them to take baseball, join the baseball team, but to help them arrive at their own answer, you can say like What sounds fun about baseball or what do you really like about playing the drums? Which one are you more excited to do or to try? And then just sit back and listen and they're gonna start talking and probably more enthusiastically about one versus the other. And you can help notice or help them notice that, like what is happening. And also you don't want to ever judge them for the amount that they need to talk, of course. You don't want to shame them. And also they might be the kid who comes home and you're like, How is your day? And they might need to tell you every single detail of the day before they can understand how they feel about it, right? They need to talk through their day to answer your question to say, How was your day? I don't know yet. I need to speak through what happened and and find out. if it was a good day or a bad day. And again, the goal here with kids is simply is not to like not have them no boundaries and let them make any decision that they want. It's to just help them find their own confidence in in this case in expressing what really matters to them and what they what they want to do. Okay, so if you have voice authority, I'm gonna give you a little experiment to try this week. Choose one decision that you've been thinking about, you've been kind of melding over. It doesn't need to be a huge life-changing decision. Maybe it's just a new project or an invitation or a trip or something or a change at work. But find someone that you trust and who you would think is neutral, like whatever you decide, it doesn't really impact them in any way. So a neutral sounding board and just say, like, hey, I need to talk something through with you. I don't need your advice, I don't need your opinions. Could you just listen and maybe ask me a few questions? And then the thing with voice authority is you don't need to prepare or practice or rehearse in any way. You just want to kind of free speak, free flow, and just let these ideas come out in whatever jumbled order that they come out, and then pay attention to what you are actually saying. And are you expressing what you want, or are you explaining what you think you should want? And then also pay attention to how do you sound, like the sound of your voice. Does it sound clear and animated and excited? Or do you find yourself just circling and trying to justify the decision? And then always the most important question for voice authority is: does it feel like, does it feel like me? Is this me? Is this where I want to go? Does this make me happy? Is this the direction? Yes or no? Right? Can you see yourself moving in that direction? and then of course, if you don't have someone in your life like that, just voice memo, voice memo on your phone. Just talk, talk, talk, talk. Listen to it afterwards, and you might be surprised by what you hear. You can hear the tension in the voice or the expansion in your voice. So I think the big takeaway for anyone with voice authority is speaking isn't just how you communicate what the decision is. It's actually how you make the decision and discover what you what you really want. And again, sometimes the most helpful thing another person can do for you is to simply listen. All right, that is episode 14. Thank you for listening. And we'll meet you in the next episode where we're going to talk about what are we talking about? I think we're talking about mental authority. We'll be talking about mental authority. We'll see you then. Thanks everyone. If you're ready to start learning your own human design, you can get your free chart at sandyconnery.com. Just click on free HD chart. And if you're enjoying the show, make sure you subscribe, share it with a friend, and follow along. Now go get your chart and let's get you into human design.