Ep. 10: Emotional Authority: Why You’re Not Meant to Decide in the Moment

Sandy: Welcome to Human Design Field Notes. This is where we learn human design in a way that's simple, fun, and actually useful in real life. The kind of thing you can try for yourself, talk about with your girlfriends, and before long, you'll want to know everyone's chart. And I'm not just teaching it, I'm testing it too. I'm rebuilding my coaching business using my own human design and I'll be sharing the field notes as I go. The experiments, the insights, the wins, the mistakes, and probably a few things we can all have a good laugh about. Because human design isn't meant to be stared at on a chart. It's meant to be lived. I'm your host, Sandy Connery. Let's see where this takes us. welcome to episode ten. Today we begin our series on inner authority. And today we are going to cover emotional authority. So here's what we're gonna cover. We're gonna talk about what actual inner authority is, what does that mean? We're gonna talk about how does emotional authority work? Like what is the process to tap into your emotional author authority? What does that feel like? How to make decisions with your emotional authority, how to support one, someone in your life, maybe it's your partner, maybe it's your kids who have emotional authority. Especially important, I think, if you don't have emotional authority. that would those tips are super valuable. And then there is some confusion for generators who are sacral, of course, and how do they use their emotional authority? There's a lot of confusion around do I listen to my sacral res instant response or do I use my emotional authority? So we're gonna talk about that toward the end and clarify that. So, first, what is authority? What is inner authority? So your authority Is your internal decision making system. It's like internal GPS or internal compass. It's the way that you are Design to know what's right for you. So rather than thinking your way through decisions and answering things with your mind, you use your authority type. So there are seven different types of authority. and they all feel and act a little bit differently. And we'll be going through all of them in the next episodes. So, regardless of what kind of authority you have, if you can tap into that inner authority, it's like accessing some deep knowledge that you have. It's like accessing an internal guide, your own personal internal guide. It's being able to find the direction that is truly meant for you. So it is our decision-making tool, and it is, I think, one of the most powerful things to understand about yourself and your loved ones. within the context of human design. Okay, so today we are going to talk about emotional authority. So to find out if you have emotional authority, you just need to print your human design chart and you can look on the right hand column and it will tell you authority and then the type. and then just to go a tiny bit deeper with this, If you have a defined colored in solar plexus or emotional center, if that is defined, then you have emotional authority. So within the population, 53% of of us have emotional authority. so it is the most common type of of authority or decision-making skill. And you can be a generator and have it, a managent, a projector, or a manifestor. It's really only the the reflectors who cannot have emotional authority. So here's how it works. Emotional authority means that you use emotional processing to find your clarity on a decision. To figure out what you should or shouldn't do, you use your emotions. And it's like truly your emotional intelligence. So somebody who has emotional authority will experience emotional waves throughout the day. If you don't have emotional authority, like myself, you don't feel those emotional waves. And it's kind of shocking. For people who do feel those waves to recognize, wait, not everyone feels this. And the same for me. I don't have that. I'm like, what do you mean you feel emotions, emotional waves all day? What it what is that? So throughout the day, and someone with emotional authority will experience these moments of of high emotion like joy, excitement, happiness, and then also low emotions, where they'll feel doubt or overwhelm or sadness or melancholy. Call melancholy. So they will go through these waves of different emotions throughout the day. When you use your emotional authority, it's important to know that you should not be making decisions when you're at a really high high, when you're super excited about something, and you and conversely, you should not make any decisions when you are in a low, low. You have to ride that wave over time. So this is the key. If you have emotional authority, time is your friend. You have to give yourself time to make a decision to make a decision. What can happen is if you're in an emotional high and like maybe you just learned about something, you're super excited about it, and you say yes, the next day you might experience a little bit of regret, like, my God, what was I what was I thinking? I don't really want to do that thing. Or the opposite, you might feel kind of down and sad and low. and you say no to something, and the next day you're like, I really should have taken that opportunity. So there can be a tendency to overcommit to things when you're an emotional high and a tendency to miss opportunities when you're an emotional low. So to find clarity in a decision, what you need to do is to wait, just to chill out, to sleep on it. Like time is your friend when it comes to making decisions. You are not meant to make a decision in the moment. You don't instantly know what the answer is. People around you might know what the answer for them is very, very quickly, but you don't. And when you reach that point of clarity, like, this is what I should do. Here's my answer. That clarity feels really calm and grounding. It doesn't feel like reactive, you know, in the moment. So Making that decision means you're not gonna do it in the moment. You're gonna wait to decide. You're gonna give yourself time. You're gonna ride out those waves. You're gonna revisit the question and check in with what your answer is in that moment throughout the day. You need to start practicing saying, hey, I just need to sleep on it. You know, I'm interested. I need more time. I need to sit with this, let me feel through this a little bit. Those should be your answers when somebody asks you something or when you're facing a decision. Really understand that those high highs are not where you have clarity and those low lows are not where you have clarity, do not make major decisions from those places. Okay, I'm gonna give you an example here. So let's say that you learned about a knitting and a horseback riding retreat in Iceland. I actually s saw this. This is a real thing, and I was like, whoa, that sounds amazing. So it's super expensive, but you've like always wanted to go to Iceland. You're a passionate kinn and you kind of have a mild interest in horses. You watch this the sales video over and over again, and you are just like in one of those emotional highs. You're like, yes, this sounds amazing. I get some girlfriends, we can ride the beaches. Of Iceland on these horses during the day. And then at night we can retreat and learn about the history of wool and knitting patterns in Iceland, drinking tea, it'll be super cozy around the fire. And you're just so excited about magin imagining this trip. And it's a high, right? You're like, yes, I want to do this. I really want to do this. I should do this. But in that moment, with someone as with emotional authority, you do not make the decision. You do not click the buy button. You give yourself time. You need to chill. You need to move through your day and move through these emotional waves. So give yourself 24 hours and you monitor. So initially the act reaction when you learned about this ri Icelantic retreat is like yes. But then a couple hours, is it still a yes? Once you kind of come down to a more neutral place of emotion, is it still a yes? Maybe you're gonna go right down to like a low place. Is it still a yes? Maybe it's turned into a no. And you just monitor this wave of emotion that you experience and check in, what's my answer now? What's my answer now? And then the next day you'll sort of you'll be able to see, okay, I'm still 100% in. Or maybe you've just with given having given yourself time, you're like, you know what, it's a lot of money. I don't really have time. Nobody wants to go with me or whatever it may be. And you maybe you've decided that's just not the time to go to Iceland. So that's how a emotional authority would handle a decision. It's just give yourself time. So challenges if for someone who has an emotional authority, potential challenges would be like you might notice that you just like you looking back in your past, you've like seen so many times that you've committed to things that you regret, or maybe you're missing things, like you've lost out on opportunities because you were in a higher or you were in a low. You may find yourself doubting, like, what's wrong with me that I can't decide like right now? Like, why don't I know right now? Like why do I need to take to take time to reach a decision? Especially if you are around a lot of generators. if you work with generators or they're in your family, they're gonna know very quickly. And we're gonna talk about that, that the way they make decisions in the next episode. but yeah, you're gonna might doubt doubt yourself if you if you can watch every you're witnessing everyone else like just instantly know. That is not how you are Design. Another thing is that you may not know or may not be one hundred percent certain on a decision. It is said that people with emotional authority, they might get to eighty percent certainty. So you never do you know. Yeah, I mean, everyone's a little bit different. You might feel a hundred percent, but eighty percent is good enough for an emotional authority to make a decision one way or the other. another place of struggle is you might feel like you're gonna miss out if you don't say yes immediately. Like the opportunity will go if you don't like capitalize it on on it right now. And certainly in the online business, online marketing space, there are a lot of urgency based decisions out there, you know, countdown timers, you gotta join the program, you gotta get to Iceland, you gotta commit to the Iceland trip. by Friday at noon or your chance is gone. And I think a good way to look at this is like just Trust that the right decisions will stand the test of time. If it is meant for you, if you should be doing this, it will still be available for you in 24 hours once you can go through those emotion those emotional waves. I one of the human design teachers that I follow, she runs launches all the time, has different programs that she, you know, sells to the public. And she says she is an emotional authority herself. So she knows what it's like to not be able to know in the moment or make quick, sort of urgent or pressure-based decisions. So in all of her selling, she will say, if you are an emotional like the you know, the the cart closes on Friday at noon. But if you are an emotional authority and you need some extra time to make the right decision for you, please take it. Email me tomorrow and I will happily let you in if it's yes. But I don't want all of you emotional authorities out there to be making rush decisions. I want you to make an aligned decision. So I think that is really beautiful to be able to honor the different people out there and how they each make decisions. Let's now talk about how each different energy type, projectors, manifestors, many gents, and so on, how each of those can use their emotional authority. What does that look like? So we're gonna be combining each of those types strategy with this emotional authority, this emotional way of making decisions. So remember that strategy is how you create the most aligned opportunity in your life. If you follow your own strategy. Which is based on your type, it eliminates resistance in your life. It creates much more flow and ease in your life. And strategy go hand in hand. So you use your strategy to call in things. you use your strategy to bring in opportunities, and then you use your authority to make decisions about which opportunities are best for you. Say yes to this one and no to that one, right? So if you are a projector. And you have emotional authority, you are called an emotional projector. So once you receive an invitation, that's your strategy, you wait for the invitations, you wait for people to invite you in, you can note your initial instinct. I really want to do this, or I really don't, and then check back in a day or two. if the decision continues to be a yes, then you move forward with it. For emotional manifestors, the strategy is to wait for an idea or an urge to come up. I wanna make this thing. Once that urge arrives, you do not go and like start it immediately. You sleep on it. Emotional authority manifestors, you sleep on it before starting or committing to a new project or a new idea. And if the next day, if that excitement still remains, if it's still a hell yes, then go for it. For generators and many gens, manifesting generators who are have emotional authority, you also, this is what's so confusing for people, is you have a defined sacral center, which means you have this immediate response. And your gut can absolutely respond in the moment because your sacral is defined, but that might not be the final decision. It might be. But it also might not be. So you note that initial reaction, like, my God, that is a hell yes to go into Iceland. But again, give yourself time with that response. It might continue to be a yes, or over time it might turn into a no. So what you're looking for is a calm and steady yes. That's what you can trust. So you take that initial sacral answer, hold on to it, and live through, experience these waves and 24-ish hours later, is it the still the same answer? Okay. So, if you're in a relationship with someone who has emotional authority, let me just give you a couple tips to make that relationship a little bit easier around decision making. So, obviously, you're gonna give them time to decide. Once you understand that they are kind of governed by this emotional authority decision-making system, give them time to decide. Do not rush them, do not pressure them, do not expect them to have an answer immediately. That is literally not how they are decided. wired to operate. They cannot do that. And if they are forced to do it, it may be the wrong thing for them. It may be the wrong decision. And can result in a lot of problems after that. So Recognize and honor their emotional wisdom. This is how they're going to get to the right and best decision for them. So just realize that that does take time for them. And if you have kids with emotional authority, I know I have two little a niece and a nephew in my life who both have emotional authority. They're very, very small right now. so it's harder to see this come up, but you want to encourage them to sleep on a decision. If they're super excited about joining something or doing something. Encourage them to sleep on a decision, especially when they're really, really worked up about something. Like, let's just decide tomorrow. I know you're super excited about it, but let's just like sleep on it and see how we feel tomorrow. You really want to teach them the validity and the importance of those emotions, that they're real and they matter and you gotta feel it, and you know, just really get them in touch with those emotions. Okay, for all of you who have emotional authority, I'm going to give you a little homework out there in the field, live in your design. When you are asked to make a decision this coming week, notice what that first response is. Just witness it. Don't commit. Don't say yes or no. Just notice your initial answer. Don't act on it. And then give yourself time. Check in a day later and check in multiple times during those 24 hours. Is that answer the same? Has it changed? Are you feeling a little bit more neutral about it? Is it now a no? Just witness those emotional waves, work with them and give yourself time to get to an answer that makes sense for you. Okay, my friends, that's it for emotional authority. Join me in the next episode. We're gonna talk about sacral authority, And we'll see you in the next episode. Thanks everyone. If you're ready to start learning your own human design, grab your free chart at sandyconnery.com. And if you want some help making sense of your particular chart, you can book a private human design reading with me. We'll connect all those dots and talk about what your design actually looks like in your real life. You can book that at sandyconnery.com too. And if you're enjoying the show, make sure you subscribe and share it with a friend. Now go get your chart and let's get you living your human design.