Why Men Joke Through Pain + Akon’s Fatherhood Take Is Off

speaker-0: What up, y'all? We are back. Chromagang. I'm your brother, Big Mike, next to my brother. Rob. Okay. Yes, got it. We got it together this time. Kinda got got it together. I mean, maybe had to do about four or five takes. Yeah, we getting there.

speaker-1: We getting there. can. It's going through brothers now. Yeah, know, see.

speaker-0: We can be men and brothers, it can't be boys, But we out. We in and we out. But we here.

speaker-1: Yeah, there it is. This ended up so y'all grand opening grand closing we out.

speaker-0: ⁓ Yeah, yeah. Yes. What's good with you, bro? How's everything going? How's everything shaking?

speaker-1: Feeling good, man. I just had the palm trees trimmed at my house. Here's a hack. And this may be not a hack or whatever. So you got to live in HOA and people drive around the neighborhood and complain about stuff, neighbors complain about stuff, whatever, right? So palm trees, they sent me an email, hey, your palm trees need to be trimmed. So I went out there. So actually, no, I called the gardener and he's like, yeah, it's going to be like $600.

speaker-0: Oof.

speaker-1: I was like, no, it's not. So got a ladder, a little, I forgot what it's called, whatever it is. It's like a saw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Curved. So I got out there and did that and got it decent. Sent the picture, sent it in. HOA was like, oh yeah, no problem. It looks great. Thank you. And I told him a little lie. I like, I left a little bit there because it provides shade for our yard. So we're in the yard in the back. Like when we trim it all the way down, like right now I had to trim it all the way down. It's just sun. there's this, we just had to deal with it for a while. And they're like, yeah, no problem. Yeah, like the lady was really cool about it. She emailed me a few weeks later, like, I'm sorry, the neighbors are saying that there's some palm trees still hanging over their yard. I'm like, they're not in the yard. They're just hanging over the top. She's like, yeah, do you mind getting those taken care of? So I call Garner again. He comes back and he's like, ⁓ I'll come take a look. I was told him I trimmed him already. And she was like, I'll come take a look and see what's there. And he was like, ⁓ yeah, you did pretty good. He was like, we'll come back and we'll do some extra stuff just because we have to do it anyway. ⁓ But it was like, it'll only be 300 bucks. It's like, all right, cool. all right.

speaker-0: Be well.

speaker-1: It works. All right, I'll get out there and do it next time for sure. So I saved $300. So feel like I should go. It's girl math, right? I saved $300 a day so I can go spend $300.

speaker-0: There you go. Okay, saved.

speaker-1: Right? It's a Penny Earn. So I'm feeling good so far. Let's see. Oh man, I was cooked. I was cooked. My shoulders, my neck, my back, all that was cooked. And I was sweating profusely. It felt like the sun was cutting the trees with me. He was like, hey player, want some sunlight? All right, cool. She was right on top of me. But yeah, it was definitely worth doing.

speaker-0: shoulders feeling though.

speaker-1: A little bit of soreness for a couple days for $300 was worth it.

speaker-0: For sure. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. It's not a game out there, man. Yeah, I had some in my backyard, but thank God we don't have no HOA. And if the neighbors get mad, they just got to hold it in. nothing they can do. We just going call the police. Palm trees. It's a civil matter, sir. Take them to court. Yeah. But, you know, I just, I cut them too. Side note, my neighbor across the street, he got an electric one. I'm like,

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: Hmm. It looks like a little mini chainsaw, but he just... They just...

speaker-1: That's still one of the things that living in Southern California is the damn palm trees, man. Because like when we get wind or we get a storm, like up by the girls school, the street be covered in palm tree, like the leaves or whatever. Or if we get like real bad rain, it'd be like all in the drains. I'm like, man, this is nice and all for the pictures, but these palm trees is trash.

speaker-0: Look, that's California problems, y'all. You see what we're dealing with out here?

speaker-1: Nah, I'm gonna need a good old fashioned oak. Some pine trees. You know, Bay Area trees. These damn palm trees out of here.

speaker-0: Stop hating man. Get you some coconuts

speaker-1: relatively useless. can't even do nothing with it.

speaker-0: It is what it is. That's Man. ⁓

speaker-1: So let's get into it, man. People are tired of hearing us talk about whatever the hell we talking about now, and they want the stuff.

speaker-0: That's cool man, nevermind how my weekend was.

speaker-1: Nah, the hell with your weak ass. You black, I don't care about you. Nah, how you feeling? Well, we talked about that on the previous episode. You gotta exist, just exist. So how is your existence going?

speaker-0: Just how they exist. My existence is going well man, except for my back. Gotta go get an MRI, but I'm gonna get that done and knocked out so.

speaker-1: Doctor said you need a back yard and you ain't got a...

speaker-0: backy-otomy, man. So I get my backy-otomy done today so I can stand up longer than 10 minutes, which is crazy. Cause when we're on the cruise, I could walk forever and it just, it felt fine. So now after most of the pain in my back is gone, this and that, I only get pain in the left side of my leg when I stand up for a while. So I'm like, okay, something is pushing on the nerve. So, hold on.

speaker-1: I'm gonna say Attica. Yeah.

speaker-0: Hope not. We'll see, man. We'll see. I've been doing all these stretches, taking all this ibuprofen 800 and they like, nah, bruh. I went to go check out this new, they opened this new Hispanic grocery store and it's like dope, super fly, fresh food, fresh vegetables, aguafresca, all of that good stuff, right? I was walking in there for about like five minutes. Maddie looks at me and says, dad, you okay? like, daddy just gonna sit down for a minute and I'm gonna catch up with y'all. But besides that, man, it was dope. Like we took a pineapple, put it in the machine and then like shaves the pineapple for you and spits out, you know, the perfect little rounds and the core and the inside. It was like $7, which is crazy, but you know what saying? It was cool to experience.

speaker-1: Yeah. I mean, it's funny, this the market is everything is expensive now, man. You got to find ways to like we go to farmers markets on the weekend to get like fruits and like the various things we can try to use throughout the week. Even a farmer market stuff be expensive now. Starting to get up there. ⁓ we went out for dinner last night at a yard house and I was like, damn, I feel like the price has done crept up like five dollars. Like, what's going on here, man? ⁓

speaker-0: You know.

speaker-1: This Nashville hot chicken sandwich didn't used to be $22. Like what is happening here? But everything is more expensive now. Gas is $6. I was going to drive the Vette the other day and I know I don't need gas, but it's like half a tank. I was like, man, I'm not going nowhere. Cause I've refused to put $7 in the tank right now. Like I'm just, it's going to sit in the garage. I had to put $7 in the tank, I'm going lose it at the gas station.

speaker-0: You gonna be on the front lines?

speaker-1: Let's go. Let's blow something up. Let's go. Let's go get some people like you said that age and the listener was what? Let me go ahead and scratch my birth certificate. I was born in 84.

speaker-0: You're not there. Yeah, that's wild, man. What's crack a lagging, man? What's going on in the world?

speaker-1: ⁓ man, the world is, I don't know, man. The ceasefire is about to end, right? So hopefully it ends with some resolution where ceasefire continues to be a ceasefire. We're like, yo, we ain't beefing. Remember the Bloods and Crips used to have the truce or whatever? We got a truce until Friday, but Friday at 8 p.m. we shooting niggas. Like, how does that work?

speaker-0: language

speaker-1: But I'm assuming that the ceasefire is to allow for peace talks, And then we can't come to a resolution by that time. Well, then this is go time. So hopefully everything gets gets resolved. We get back to normal. We can get some some reasonable pricing on necessities. But. But I'm not sure. I don't know. I like you never know. You never know with with the presidents and the current the current administration like. My man could just have a bad morning and just be like, man, fuck everybody.

speaker-0: We killin' them in the name of our lives!

speaker-1: Right? hop on Twitter and drop a paragraph, you know something ain't right. So we got to be careful out here and how we move. You know what's funny is I always talk about like, not always, just as long as I've been able to vote, I always talk about like how, regardless of who I vote for, it's not going to have a huge impact on how my life runs. Like I'm still going to be doing the same stuff. Like I got to pay for the same stuff. I got to do the same stuff. feeling a little bit this time. Yeah, feeling a little bit this time, like feeling like, man, like life is a little bit different. Like I gotta make some different decisions. I gotta think about stuff a little bit differently. Like, I don't like it. I don't like this.

speaker-0: I know a good amount of, know, because back in the day, right, you know, as a black person, it was always like, get that good government job. You got a good government job? You keep that job. Don't mess that job up. And you're seeing the numbers of how many black folks are losing their jobs, that good government job. And it's just like, that used to be, okay, you got this job, you are straight. You have to worry about nothing. You always have a job. All you have to do is do the right thing and you're going to be fine. They're not going to get you. This president is wiping out brothers and sisters jobs in the hundreds of thousands. it's like, and just different choices. got a buddy, he's, know, TSA guy and I haven't talked to him. So I don't know, you know, what's going on with his situation, but I'm like, I know they stop paying them. Like still coming to work. We just ain't gonna pay you right now because of what's going on. It's like, bruh. We owe you. We owe you. We got you. Don't worry about it.

speaker-1: Yeah, we're gonna get you some back pay. That's crazy. But the bills don't work that way. They're gonna be okay with me not paying. They don't care.

speaker-0: Yep. You're one too far behind. Whoo. Takes a while to get about that hole. Them late fees,

speaker-1: Yeah. And it's just getting started though. Like we still in the very early stages of this presidency. And maybe that means there's time for turnaround. This isn't a political podcast, so we got to get off of this topic pretty soon. But maybe there's some time to turn it around and things will be different. what people were saying when it was in the whole process of electing people. When he was president last time, we was getting money. People was talking about how rich they got during the last term. I'm like, man.

speaker-0: Shut up. Right, how you doing now too?

speaker-1: Stealing PPP loans and scamming people. Was running a course on something you ain't know nothing about. Shut up, man.

speaker-0: ⁓ speaking of that, I'm trying to position myself, right? So, you I've talked to you about it. I've talked to my buddy at work, you know, we're talking about investing, you know, and I'm like, you know what? Being in this position now, where I'm in a place where I can invest, I'm like, it's time for us to capitalize off of all this volatility that this man is creating in the market and just trying to move in a way that helps. you know, me and my family, friends, and you you've been doing it forever, but I'm finally like really getting focused on options. Like I've always invested, well not always, but I've been investing for a few years. And you know, to people out there that are like, don't trust it, I don't invest. Listen, invest in some good companies. This is not financial advice. This is just something that I'm sharing that. I do that, we do, our families do. I've watched money make money and it's just ridiculous how it works. It's like, is, so this is how they become rich? Like this don't make no sense. Okay, this $600 done turned into $1,400? Just sitting? Just sitting. This is crazy. Meanwhile, if I put that money into a savings account, that $600 is gonna turn into $602 in three. You know what saying? So it's like, we gotta learn how to do this and make those moves. So I'm learning how to trade options now. This brother had taught me a while ago, but it wasn't the right time. It was very early in the morning. He was very dry. It was like rye bread. You know what saying? You remember the guy from Ferris Bueller, the teacher? That was rye. Nah.

speaker-1: It was just one writer.

speaker-0: So I'm looking at my notes, I'm using AI, I'm using some, actually I think I got them from you back in the day, some courses and stuff and just positioning myself to like, okay, I can actually make some money off some options trading and okay, I'm getting it now. I forgot to tell you, but I actually started investing in, remember that company? Every time it was like, ⁓ kind of like Lyft. but it was in Thailand and we was taking it everywhere. I just invested in the next. I was like, okay, let me see. You know, my buddy was like, ever heard of this company called blankety blank blank? I was like, oh yeah, yeah, I actually used it before. He's like, man, I think they're to do good. So I kind of just looked into it a little bit. I was like, all right, let me try and do a little options play and see what we do. Like a little $50 here, nothing too crazy. So maybe I'll try that this week. But yeah, man, get your money, y'all. Get your money.

speaker-1: That's what's up. Yeah, it's a lot of ways to do it. I feel like a lot of us, I think the pandemic definitely helped a lot of people get exposed to it. But there was still such an apprehension to investing, right? Because just culturally, there's always been this distrust of that, right? Or anything you don't understand is bad, right? But it's definitely opportunities to make money, to shelter funds, to protect them, to help them grow. Like there's all these different things to learn about finances out there that people are trying to teach if you're looking for it. Right? Like they're not going to come find you. Nobody's going to come help you save your money. But if you want to save your money or make your money or have your money make money, there's a lot of opportunities and a lot of ways to do it. You just have to, like you said, position yourself, right? Put yourself in the right place, the right time, listening to the right people. ⁓ And it's not always going to be wins, right? It's going to be wins and lessons. And ⁓ just, want to just make sure your lessons aren't that hard. Yeah. ⁓ So I guess we could, probably should get into the group chat, man.

speaker-0: this lot. Yeah, what's going on in the-

speaker-1: The group chat is not as crazy as the world right now. The world seems like it's all over the place, but the group chat is consistent. ⁓ I forgot what I was about to say just now. So maybe I'm just as crazy as the world. I'm officially 43 and I can't even remember what I was about to say. I literally had it, right? It was in my head. Let's talk about that. Have you, I don't know, you almost 50. Have you?

speaker-0: say.

speaker-1: Have you gone into a room and forgot why you went into the room?

speaker-0: Short answer, yes.

speaker-1: man, it felt like it happens to me more and more often. Like I'll just be, I'll be like walking into, like I walked into the laundry room earlier, just a second ago. And I was like, damn, what'd I come in here for? And I walked out and I was like, nah, I'm supposed to get something. I walked back in. I was like, I don't know, forget it. And I still don't even know what I went in there for. Like I just, I'm lost. I forgot it. I saw a video the other day, I don't know if I sent it to you, a dude was sitting on the stairs putting on his socks. So he's sitting on the stairs putting on his socks. He takes one of them and throws it over his shoulder, puts on the other one. And he's just like.

speaker-0: No, I don't think so.

speaker-1: And gets up, the socks are still on his shoulder, spin around in circles, walks around. It's like, man, ⁓ go to the drawer, put on another sock, find the sock on his shoulder. Like, that's where we at now, man.

speaker-0: God. It's funny because, so my father-in-law, like back in the day, maybe it was like 10 years ago, I'm sitting out in front of his house, I'm in the car, I'm going to the store. He comes out, Mike, you going to the store? I'm like, yeah, dad, I'm about to go pick up a little something. Okay, can you give me a... Uhhh... Uhhhh And it took him a hot minute to remember what he wanted me to get. So I would just clown Tiff like, hey Tiff, you better stop playing with my daddy. Rest in peace to a great man. You stop playing. Until it happened to me and she was like, mm-hm, mm-hm. Now, now, but yeah, man.

speaker-1: The store might be the worst culprit. Like going to the store, like, damn, what did I come here to get?

speaker-0: You got everything except for what you came to get.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, and then you try to call like like a lifeline try to call your wife for help if she don't answer her phone Like damn man, what I know I came here to get something and you see something else you want like oh, yeah I'm gonna grab that every go that ain't forget it Damn this be jerk you look kind of

speaker-0: Mears whiskey. Is

speaker-1: crazy. Definitely didn't come out, leave my house to go to the store to get whiskey and beef jerky. Come back home and that's all I got in

speaker-0: Eggs in the barbecue sauce? I'll be right back. There was this little TikTok, you know what saying, thing going around. And basically it'd be like, you know, older people, older black people, and they would play Earth, and Fire. And they would put like a little echo on it. So it'd be, do you remember? Remember? Remember? Just trying to figure out like, what was I here for?

speaker-1: Yeah. No.

speaker-0: It always slapped because it's just real.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember now what the group chat was. you still young. Yeah, took a minute. caught it a while ago, but then we was, it was too good to. So it's a video by, well, it's a ⁓ remix video. So I don't know who the original creators are. I would love to give them credit, but I can't. Kev on stage posted it. ⁓ And this is like one of the things that I realized. And I don't know if this, I think this is a.

speaker-0: It's all good,

speaker-1: I don't know if this is a black thing. I think it's just a guy thing. We don't take nothing serious. And so in the video, it's a group of guys, they're at their friend's funeral and they basically are roasting him at his funeral. Not like in front of the, you know, it's not like at the actual, you know, service where they stand up there and they, you know, say something nice about him. roasting him. It's not one of those, but like. There's just like in a group together talking about him, like he had a hat on and his casket and big hat wearing ass, like just stuff like that. And I think men, we do that with everything. Like the group chat itself is that, like that was the group chat coming to life. Because we'll clown each other over it. Anything and everything, nothing is off limits.

speaker-0: My man is dead, he's still gonna get these jumps.

speaker-1: Yeah, you gonna get it. Like, look at that suit. And they never wear a suit. Man, they could at least got him tailored.

speaker-0: Man, what Jay-Z say, the preachers like God's got him. He never did nothing to them boys, but them boys shot him.

speaker-1: Yeah, come on, man. Yeah, but we do stuff like that. it's like, for example, there was a video I saw a while back where a dude was like taking care of his kid. then like off in the distance, you hear guys, look at this fool trying to be a good dad. Look at that good dad. Like, come on. And he's just laughing at him. Like we do stuff like that. There's no safe space. Like hat wearing ass. Like it just, anything is fair game. And I wonder, it's fun. It's all fun. But some of it is like a coping mechanism, right? Where it's like, yo, I don't know how to help you deal with what's going on with you, but you can get these jokes. Like instead of crying at the funeral and being sad, like let's just, let's do what we would have done if he was still around. Let's laugh a little bit. Let's make fun. Because we,

speaker-0: Right. Yeah. Jokes.

speaker-1: don't know if I would even say we lack emotional intelligence. think that's a very emotional, well, no, maybe not. But it is an emotionally intelligent way to deal with that situation in the moment. Right? Like, I don't know if that's how you process it completely, but in that moment, that might be a healthy way to deal with that trauma.

speaker-0: I would agree. I would say, yeah, I mean, I've been to way too many funerals in the past like two years, but, you know, there is a comfort in being able to have a laugh at a funeral. As crazy as that sounds to some people, like you say, I don't know if it's a black thing, a man thing, whatever the thing is, there's a comfort to being able to laugh because you're remembering the person in the way. That's just like a joyful thing. Like it's not, you're not laughing at them. You're almost like you're laughing with them. Like they will be sitting there clowning you and y'all both will be laughing. Like y'all see how me and Rod are on the podcast. We, you know, we gonna get these jokes off. It's gonna be hilarious. But it's respect in that. And there is like for men, I think they're, it's like a different language. You know, we were talking about this earlier. If I go, oh man, I'm not gonna say, hey man, yeah, it's a good outfit, man, you look good. Look at my man, got his legs all out, okay, man. He be doing slow calf raises in the bedroom, man, huh? Got your legs shot, you know what saying? Like, you're gonna get these jokes, but we're gonna be, it's a compliment. It's just, it might be a different way of, you know I'm saying, emotional intelligence, a different emotional language.

speaker-1: Yeah. wonder, like I'm obviously not in the field, but I wonder if that's like researched and like there's something behind it. Cause I did see, ⁓ dang, I can't think of her name. So Keir Gaines is a, ⁓ he's a therapist, but he's on social media. He's a black dude. And it's a lady who is a therapist for men. And she had posted something where like in her comment section, it was guys commenting, but the guys were like, joking, right? Like it was about depression or something like, but guys were just kind of making jokes in the comment section about different stuff, like what they would say or do or whatever. And then so she kind of in another post commented on the comments and I felt like I was watching it and I was looking at the comments. I'm like, that's some shit I was. Yeah, all right. I guess. And she was kind of saying it was like, ⁓ you know, this is just how men men interact. This is what we do with each other. And it's not that we're insensitive. It's not that we don't care, but without the tools to help you navigate whatever the situation is, the best I can offer you is a good life. I can't help you with that. You can't pay your bills? Well, nigga, you should get a job on Broke. Not negatively, but we're going have a little bit of fun and that's going to be my contribution to getting you over the hump.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: And, you know, I got your back and all that, you were a mouth to feed, like one of my kids, like even my son. But again, not negatively, right? You just have a little fun with it. And I think that's okay to an extent. It's okay to the point where it's like, we're not ignoring the reality, right? And we're not like ignoring the need to actually deal with problems and situations, but yeah, we don't have to take everything serious. All right.

speaker-0: I don't even think that works in marriage, but I would suggest that you tread lightly and see where your partner is, because it has gotten me in trouble, because I am a sarcastic guy, you know what saying? So there's things that I have said to my wife and I didn't know that it hurt her feelings until later on, once we had something bubble over, and now we're sitting there, talking, and she's, and sometimes when you say this, it hurts me, I'm like, ⁓ snap. I'm sorry, I wasn't even trying to do that. But then it's like, if I pull back too far, it's like, you never joke with me anymore. Why don't you, I love that about you. Why don't you joke with me? So it's like, dang, okay, you just kind of got to find that balance to that person now with men usually, I don't care about no balance. But you know, the balance is don't get disrespectful. Because you get disrespectful. Nigga, what you say?

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: I ain't saying nothing, why you acting all soft today? And then it's getting escalated for no real reason. So I was like, all right, my Batman went a little too far, huh? Okay. But yeah, man, finally got to say the N word on it, Okay.

speaker-1: Yeah. It's interesting too, because I do feel like culturally, we do have a little bit of that just in general, right? Like we can find the funny in the worst situations, right? Like even if you look at like black movies, black TV, ⁓ like TV shows, you'll see comedy, right? Like the stuff that they talk about is like... the worst, right? Terrible situations. But then you get the studio audiences laughing. Like there's an innate ability to find the silver lining. And I think we do that a lot, right? Even in some of our compliments of each other, like you just said, like the shorts thing, right? Like we'll see somebody dressed up and instead of telling them they look nice, we'll be like, where are going? Where are you going? You're trying to look all good. Who do you think you is?

speaker-0: Yeah. Record me?

speaker-1: You got a job interview. You could easily just be like, hey man, you look nice, man. You got a nice little suit on, got yourself together. That's cool, man. Shout out to you. was like, look at this thing. Who do think he is? Bill Gates? And that ain't even an accurate depiction because Bill Gates is a black t-shirt and jeans. But stuff like that. It's funny that men... in general, and to some extent, black people, we don't take stuff serious. We take stuff serious. Let me say that. Somebody will clip that up, see that part. Right. And then I'm doing a bad representation of black America. And I'll right, yeah, next thing you know, I got on a tank top. That's another thing about that. Listen, man, I get it. I get the dancing. I get all of it. Right. get the... But, the tank top and the fanny pack and the little lab shorts, like some of it, at some point, bro,

speaker-0: dancing like

speaker-1: Gimme, gimme

speaker-0: break.

speaker-1: Give me a break, man. Just one of them things you gotta let go. And if it's the fanny pack cold, like you don't wear the fanny pack no more, cause what's in it? I'm assuming there's something, everything that you need is in there cause the shorts are so short. You got them three inch shorts on. ain't no way you could put nothing in them. But like, you know, if you wore some seven inch shorts, you might have a deep enough pocket to put your phone in. Then you won't need to wear the fanny pack. I'm just saying like, I'm trying to help you help me to let you do your thing. But you know.

speaker-0: It's it's fun. Leave my man alone. don't care about me. Side note. Is it wrong for me to judge a man that has his phone in his back pocket like a woman?

speaker-1: I didn't realize that having your phone in the back pocket was a woman thing.

speaker-0: ⁓ okay, so I'm sitting next to...

speaker-1: I don't put my phone in my back pocket, but I just didn't know it was a female thing.

speaker-0: I I guess maybe because I've never seen a man do it. I've only seen women do it because they don't put stuff in their pockets like that.

speaker-1: You never seen a guy do it before. Yeah, that's true. I don't know that I've ever seen a man put a phone in his back pocket.

speaker-0: I have man and I was like, ⁓ look at this dude and I'm like man, I'm trying to be better

speaker-1: Nah, you gotta judge him. Judge him in public. Judge him openly and honestly. My sister's talking about, so they had these little parties, her and her friends. They did like a spelling bee party. ⁓ did a, have you seen this? Like they do like a presentation. It's like a hot take. So everybody comes and they do a presentation and you got like a hot take of things that you want to talk about. like ⁓ one of them was, ⁓ we need to bring back shame. Exxon Girl had a whole presentation on why we need to bring back Shane. And that's one of the things, like if you can't say nothing to nobody, then anybody can do anything, right? Listen, listen little homie. Look, I don't know your orientation and that don't even matter. Like I just don't. Put your phone in.

speaker-0: Get your phone out your back pocket. Put it in your front pocket, All right?

speaker-1: Come on, my G. That's just not a good place for your phone.

speaker-0: anybody. That's where you're but I mean you know LeBron you know he had the Louis Vuitton person you know what I'm saying so I don't know man I don't know the rules.

speaker-1: This is interesting, right? Because like, okay, so I used to, I didn't have a purse. So let me start with that. I didn't have a bag. I didn't have a purse. But when I used to work at the marketing firm, used to wear suits and ties every day and there's no place. So you have to look a certain way when you're doing presentations to companies and businesses, right? Like your presentation is a part of it. So you can't have like a fat wallet in your front pocket for sure. You put it in your back pocket, it makes your pants look funny. The way your jacket hangs doesn't look right, Or if you have a phone, you just, you put it in your inside pocket. It's just none of it, there's nowhere for it, right? So I used to get to work and put it in a desk, like my phone or my whatever. I put it away so it just, so everything fits the way it's supposed to. And I wonder if that's like what it is, right? Like I understand for Lebron, he was, you know.

speaker-0: paper ⁓

speaker-1: coming from a game, you got stuff that you gotta take to the game. You got like a little bag and he make a good amount of money. So he ain't throwing on the backpack, right? Like, so he got a little Louis Vuitton Mers. I'm not excusing it. I'm not a Mers kind of guy. ⁓ But I will say my dad, so remember in the eighties when the ⁓ little fanny packs actually came in, everybody used to wear them. So my dad had one and for a long time, my family's different. ⁓ He didn't, he never really, in the 80s when it was popular, he wore it around his waist like everybody else did. And then when that kind of went away, he used to just like throw it over his shoulder, but because he never put like his stuff in his bag, you know, old black man, I keep everything. had a thousand receipts and like, so he used to have everything in his little bag. He used to just throw it over his shoulder. So it was like, you know, cause it's not like a long hanging purse. So it used to be like right here. ⁓ And I always wondered like, when is he going to get rid of that thing? You know, like. Just let it go. It's not even cool no more. You're doing a different thing with it. That's cool, but get rid of it. And ⁓ he still, to this day, it's different. It's not a fanny pack. It's like an actual, like little shoulder bag. ⁓ At one point he had like a... My OG had a saddlebag like thing. Another saddlebag type thing that goes over shoulder. He was cool as the other side of the fan, but I don't know, man. It's just, it's just a thing. little things like that, right? Cause that's kind of along the same lines. It's like, that's like a purse, bro. You were rocking a purse, but I don't think it means anything. It's just weird. It's different. It's different. Different, right? It's even.

speaker-0: Yeah, no.

speaker-1: Southern California, everybody's weird or weirdo, but it's just different.

speaker-0: You know, we fresh or fresher. Don't ever be that twisted. Fresh or fresher, okay? Listen, I'm gonna tell you something. OG gave me this game when I was like eight. He said, there's three things that a man needs to do. Look fresh, smell fresh, and be fresh. That's it. That's all you need to do,

speaker-1: that means. I feel like there's more that he should have taught you because there's more. There's a bunch of other stuff that you got to do besides being fresh. Those are some very key components for sure. But there's some other stuff that men need to do. But I'll take it. I'll rock with it. I like that.

speaker-0: Don't listen to him, listen to me.

speaker-1: Look, be fresh, smell fresh.

speaker-0: fresh look fresh smell fresh be fresh all right all right now you gotta remember this is the late 80s fresh

speaker-1: Okay. Right. So fresh fresh. Something else.

speaker-0: So I don't know what the kids said.

speaker-1: I don't know what it is now. I guess at one point for us, it might've been fly.

speaker-0: Yeah, look fly, ⁓ smell fly, be fly. Come on, man. We can really just go ahead and just shoot a movie with that name and we can build around that. Go ahead, build the screenplay around that. We can get this money.

speaker-1: I feel like that's already been done. ⁓

speaker-0: You know what man, you been negative all episode.

speaker-1: that's already been done. But not in the way that you have. You're unique, Mike. You can get Tyler Perry in on that. can be like Madea's gift fly.

speaker-0: Too late man. Be Madea,

speaker-1: Yeah, how you're doing and all that. then y'all could pull out pistols on each other and, you know, she cuts you out.

speaker-0: I feel like stop acting like you don't have a Madea in your family. Everybody got a Madea. That's the problem. We know your grandma is crazy. We know.

speaker-1: Yeah, big red is crazy. She is. She is. But but she ain't Madea. Or maybe she is.

speaker-0: She got pieces of Medina. I ain't even met her. But her name is Big Red. So he already know.

speaker-1: It's not. not it. Don't. The only people that call her that are my uncles. And. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

speaker-0: My apologies I was apologizing to her not to.

speaker-1: No, you don't have to apologize. She wouldn't even accept your apology. She just gave you them hands. Yeah, she liked to fight.

speaker-0: ⁓ okay. Hmm, Tyler Perry. I think I got an idea for a new movie. We'll call it Big Red.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, Big Red's house. But yeah, I guess you're right. There's a little bit of Madea in every family. Come on, Some combination of people. That's cool. Whatever.

speaker-0: It's cool man, so what were we talking about in the end?

speaker-1: I'm not being serious. That's not being serious. Yeah, I think we hit that. ⁓ So so let's move.

speaker-0: Go ahead, move a little bit forward, man. You know, I've seen this thing with Akon, man. I want to throw this in the group chat. Maybe make it quick, don't be too long. And basically what he was saying was that men shouldn't be in their son's, not in their son's life, but not heavily in their son's life in a way where it's like the wife should be going to... the recitals and the games and the graduation, well maybe not graduations, but he did.

speaker-1: He said that too. he said some graduations I'm not going to be at. Yeah, all that.

speaker-0: Locked up. Yeah. Yeah, just, you see? Just so quick to cut me off. I like this. I had the Madea in me. Anyways, anyways. ⁓ So basically his thing was because as a father, you need to be out there getting money and showing your children like, hey, you should be out here hustling and getting money.

speaker-1: So. Go ahead. man.

speaker-0: And I was very confused by that. But you know, what you thinking, right?

speaker-1: So I think there's some context around what he's saying. there's some parts of it that I agree with and there's some parts of them like, ⁓ that ain't accurate. So contextually, ⁓ Akon is from Senegal, right? Okay. I think. ⁓

speaker-0: You know, he was in New Jersey for a very long time.

speaker-1: Yeah, but I mean, like he's raised with Senegalese culture, right? He's openly polygamous, has four wives, right? Nine children. I'm assuming that those four wives don't all live in the same house. They probably are spread out across the US and possibly Africa. And so his reality is that he is not going to be present. So it makes it easier for him to say that, Right, of course. there's probably several of those children that just aren't going to see them just because of geography.

speaker-0: I think Nick Cannon was probably like, you know what? Yeah, I like that iconic.

speaker-1: Right? Like just because of geography there, he's not going to make it to games and practices and recitals and graduations, like just in general, right? It would be like, it's just like any other co-parent. So he's saying that from a position that is very different than the majority of us. Also, like the cultural part of it, in some part, in that part where he's talking about it, he says, you know, America and Europe, some of the like kind of quote unquote Western civilization ⁓ societies, men have been kind of emasculated to the point where they want to spend time with their children in that way. He counters and kind of contradicts himself as saying like, well, when I am there, I'm fully there and I'm doing everything. you're saying you do it, but then at the same time saying that you shouldn't do it, sounded somewhat like you're just making an excuse for your absence. Right. Like, well, yeah, you are going to these different places to do concerts or tours. Are you going to different places? That's a part of the way that you work. yes, of course, you're going to be out of the country and mom is going to have to take care of the kids. But if I work in the same city I live in and I got one wife and three kids, like we're not talking about the same thing. So like our realities are very different. All right. Like I if I go to work 20 minutes from where I live. I really don't have a lot of excuses for why I'm missing things. she taking him to games and I'm just coming home, right? Or like they got a graduation and I'm just chilling at the crib because that's not what her father does, because that's nurturing. Like that don't make sense. So I think that context is important. And also you have to understand that he's talking about for him, even though the way he's saying it is kind of in response to the question asking more about like,

speaker-0: resting

speaker-1: his thoughts about fatherhood in general, ⁓ but he's more talking about himself. So it was like hard to get like a real stance against or for it, right? Cause in the conversation, he's on both sides of the fence. Like I am really present when I'm there, but then, know, when dad's got to fly over the country, they know that they don't, they don't, they can't call me. But if something comes up. and they're not listening to their mama being disrespectful. She's my voice when I'm not there. If she have to call me, then I'm showing up. Like, okay, bro, but I live here with them, so I don't need her to call me. I'm here. I don't know.

speaker-0: I guess for me, just boils down to choices and what you see as important. Because you talked about this on Forfeit Fatherhood. It's difficult for men to know that you need to earn a certain amount. So you want to provide a certain level of security for your family. Also would, you I like to say is provision is so much more than just monetary, right? I can teach my daughter that she's beautiful by being present and listening to her tell me a story about what's going on with her and her friends at school. Like it just builds her up or I'm just play wrestling with her or play wrestling with my son or whatever it may be, right? If I'm not there, that doesn't happen. There are certain things that a man needs to do for his family. If you have children, a man needs to do certain things for your spouse. A man needs to do certain things. But if you make the compromise or the sacrifice, I think would be a better word, to not be there to make, to turn your million into 1.3 million, okay, well then you just gotta deal with what comes with that.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: I remember watching, and this was a woman, but watching this documentary about these, basically these trust fund kids. This kid is talking with his mom and his mom was a big CEO or something. She's just making a gang of money. And he was just basically like, yeah, I you were around more. I would have rather you've been around more than. have all these things and she was kind of silent in it. And it's like, dang, that's tough. That's tough because you just talk. Get it, go get it, go get it, go get it, go get it. It's tough, man. But I'm like, if you want kids, that's what comes with it. Because we just be wanting kids. I want two kids, I want three kids, I want four kids. And it's just like, okay, cool. But here's what comes with that. And you're bringing a child into the world. that's going to need you. And if you're like, well, you can't lean on me. You can FaceTime me. And then, you know, we can talk when I get off the plane for 20 minutes. But when I get home, we can have a really good talk. Well, that's not how life works. I'm dealing with this bully at school today. I need you to guide me. Mommy said this, but I need you because here's my connection with you on this level. So it's like, it's a sacrifice, man.

speaker-1: Right. Yeah. Yeah. And again, context in that same conversation, Acom was talking, they had asked him about money and his example was $10 million in the bank. That ain't, he ain't talking about us. You know what He's like, money can make money. He's like $10 million in the bank and he's making 3%. It's $300,000 a month. Like, dog, people ain't making $300,000 in two years, three years. So like his conversation is very different. So like I wouldn't take And I think that's a problem with all of us is we've given celebrity a pedestal because you can sing real good or because you can produce or you know how to find talent or you can act. That don't make you a spokesperson for really anything. They're just a regular person with a guy given talent. Like you just, I think we've given people so much ⁓ clout, so much status because of the amount of money they make. or how they made us feel in a song or a movie or a commercial or comedy special. These are just regular people dealing with regular stuff. Their advice is not the end all be all. A lot of it is going to be controversial, contradictory to what you may or may not believe. is up to you to figure out what that is and how you want to move, regardless of what Akon says.

speaker-0: Exactly.

speaker-1: you know, take no offense. He's going to say what makes sense to him. Like nobody said Akon was a Scott. I'm not saying that he's not, but I'm not saying Akon is not a... When I have... It's like Dave Chappelle, he's like, when stuff is going on in the world, he's like, who wants to hear from Ja Rule? Like, I don't want to hear what Akon has to say about... Like, I don't know. just, when I'm thinking about fatherhood, and this is no slight on him, he probably is an excellent father in his way. I've never sat down in my computer

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: and hit Google and was like, man, what does Akon think about fatherhood?

speaker-0: me see,

speaker-1: That's it. And that's how I'm a model myself. And again, there's no slight on him, right? Like nobody's ever done it for me either. know? No one's like, what does Rod think about fatherhood? Like maybe because of social media. But then again, I'm just one man trying to make it one day at a time. Like, so don't maybe take my advice, but whatever works for you, works for you. I don't know.

speaker-0: You don't need to be there. I mean, I've called you for advice, you know what saying? Yeah. So I need you to go ahead and put a little more confidence.

speaker-1: So that's choice. I'm just saying, you have to decide whether this is a credible source or not in regards to that, Like, okay, he's talking about the money. Okay, it kind got a ton of money. If you say some stuff about money, it might be valuable. All right, he got nine kids. He got more kids than me. He's been fathered more times than I am. So some things that he might say about fatherhood that makes sense. And it's something that don't, right? It just don't align with the same situation, right? I'm looking for...

speaker-0: So now don't.

speaker-1: for connections, right? Like, where does what he's saying align? That's why I some of it made sense. Like some of it is like, yeah, you do want to go and show your kids that I had to go out here and make money and this is how a man provides for a family and he had to have a job and responsibilities and you want to show them that that's important. And that's why said, some of it is accurate and I agree with it. And some of it is like, yeah, that's you, dog, not me.

speaker-0: I agree. I'm with you, man. I think we can bring this one to a close, sir. I think that was pretty much the grown man game right there. You got to do what works for you and then don't be looking to these celebrities or, you know, whatever for guidance. know, this is just their opinion. I mean, allegedly, Steve Jobs wasn't a great father. Like, I think his daughter is just like...

speaker-1: Yeah, let's do it.

speaker-0: but you know, someone say, I mean, you want to get some advice from Steve Jobs? ⁓ the dude that created Apple made the iPhone. ⁓ yeah, man, I need to talk to him. Say my daughter is doing like the snack on her face and tell her you don't got time. Okay, thank you, Steve. Like, I don't know.

speaker-1: That's what Steve Jobs did. Yeah, it's interesting. And this is kind of one of those things where like you talked about the separating the message from the messenger. Like some some people are great at what they're great. We talked about did we talk about Martin Luther King? Was that me and you? I'm not coming to Martin Luther King for relationship advice. Listen, that's not.

speaker-0: Yep. No sir, no thank you.

speaker-1: This is not where I'm going with it. Like I'm gonna ask him about civil rights, but I'm not asking him about marital status. And granted, he's a pastor. He probably should have a better marriage situation, right? Cause people will go to pastors for marriage counseling and all that, Biblically, biblically, biblically, biblically, I don't know. Something, one of them, something with the Bible. He probably should have been in alignment in certain ways. And this is all allegedly, right? I don't know him in corrective situation. I'm just going off of what people said. Right. And then the same goals with anything else. It's like, yo, because they sing real good about love songs on me and they got good relationships, most cases they don't. And that's why they sing about relationships. Like that's not the person I'm going to for marriage advice. I'm not asking ⁓ Tyrese about how to... ⁓

speaker-0: Please don't ask Tyrese about nothing.

speaker-1: Right? You know what I'm saying? But like, he's got so much amazing love songs and he talks about like, he seems like he's got great relationship advice. The hell he does. Take some of that with a grain of salt. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, then just kick it down the curb. Appreciate the person for what they did, but ignore some of that stuff.

speaker-0: No, thank you. There you go, All right, y'all jump.

speaker-1: All right, listen, before Mike salutes you, he already did, it's too late. ⁓ You can find us in Grow a Man GamePod on Instagram. Hopefully you're already following us. If you're not following us, make sure that you are. Same on YouTube. ⁓ You'll find the full episode there, some clips, some shorts, some behind the scenes stuff, Mike talking about stuff that's extremely controversial. No, it's Yeah. If you got questions, comments, concerns, things you want us to talk about on the podcast, you can hit us at grownmangamepodcasts.gmail.com. And most importantly, man, make sure you like, share, and subscribe to the podcast. It does a whole lot for us in terms of spreading the word, spreading the message, and sharing some of that grown man game with the others around you. This has been an episode of Grown Man Game Podcast. This is Mike, and I'm Rod.

speaker-0: to use. ⁓ you