Upgrading Bro Code to Grown Man Code (Are You Still Running Old Software?)

speaker-0: Men could give a fuck about other men. We look at a nigga who's down on the look at you, you dumb bitch. What? That's another man. That's one of you. Help him. What the fuck happened to broke? You know, broke used to make sense. If you saw your your brother struggling, if you saw your homeboy in a spot that he didn't need to be in doing something stupid, if you saw him tripping himself up, you stepped in and said, Hey nigga, what you doing? Fix yourself. Now broke is all conflicted. It does not mean you put your man's before your wife and you can't No. No. Men used to look out for other men. You would never let your homeboy step out on his wife. As a man, you gotta interject. Hey, man, you cheating on your wife. What are you doing? Broke hope makes sense. You gotta step in and help your brother. Hey, man, you're down on your luck. Come on, let's go eat. Let's get up. Let's go do something. You look down bad, man. Let's get out of the house. The stronger he is, the stronger we are. Everyone needs strong men. The world needs strong men. Strong men made what makes us comfortable. But all the strong men are dying. it's weak to ask your man if he's okay. It's weak to let your brother cry. That's broke code. If your niggas crying, you hold them. Hey man, let it out, dawg. Let it out, dawg. It's broke to let that man feel. It's broke code to call your man out when he's being a dumbass. No real bro lets his bro cheat on a good thing. Birds, don't come in my fucking comments talking about as a man good. Fuck y'all. This is about me.

speaker-1: All right. And with that, we are back for another exciting episode. We gotta dive into that, but another another exciting episode. I got my man Big Mike here. And I'm Rod. And listen, man, I'm I'm excited for this episode because I feel like there's a lot to talk about. That video obviously it goes into a bit more, it's a longer video, but I think bro code. is is something that we have to address because I think bro code as it existed when we were coming up and maybe the bro code that we use has changed. And I feel like the young fellas and and and society has kind of muddied the waters of what used to be brocode.

speaker-0: Yeah, for sure. before we get too too deep into it, you know what I'm saying? I definitely wanna be like shout out to Julian Cross comedy. That's Julian Cross right there that was speaking about that. But you know, this is the grown man game.

speaker-1: It is, and that's why we're talking about it. Cause grown men, grown men should have maybe we shouldn't even call it bro code. Maybe that's the issue. Bro code is such a like a young term for like young men. But like when you transition out of just being a bro, right, and you grow up and you become a grown man, maybe we should have grown man code. And maybe that's the disconnect, right? Because because I'm assuming he's he seems like he's a little bit older, a little bit more mature, obviously through the context of the conversation that he was having or the dialogue that he's having. He seemed like he's a little bit more mature. And so bro code might be like, you know, your early twenties, you know, not even teens, teens, early twenties. I'll say then you get into your 30s and you start settling down, you got a family and and a wife, and now it's grown man code. And GMC. Yeah, I don't know if enough people talk about what that really is. And so in this episode, let's break it down.

speaker-0: Let's get into it, man. I'm kinda yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited. you know what I'm saying? We gotta still do our whoop-de-woop wompties a little bit. Or do you just wanna just say forget it? Let's go.

speaker-1: No, no, no, no. Let's let's let's stay on on task. Let's let's hit the normals. But y'all stay tuned 'cause that's that's what we're gonna get to here in a minute. That's what

speaker-0: Coming, you know what I'm saying?

speaker-1: So I guess first things first, how you doing, brother?

speaker-0: I'm doing good man. feeling great because I don't gotta go to work. You know. Still got a job. Still got a job.

speaker-1: Yeah. But you still got a job. There we go. You gotta put the you gotta put the context around it 'cause it's people that's not going to work that they're not happy.

speaker-0: Yo, yo, sorry y'all. It's tough out there. I ain't gonna lie to you. it's a couple of people that got fired at my job, so they got their job back. Yeah, I better work them union jobs, I'm trying to tell you. But yeah, man, I got the day off feeling good, you know what I'm saying? Connecting with you, of course. It's always a highlight of my time when I get to chill with my brother.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: Everything else, you know, family's good and Tiff, Maddie, everybody's good. bruh. Only thing is, I got hit with a gut punch this week.

speaker-1: Okay.

speaker-0: You know what I'm saying? speak on it. Jumped in my car, started it, a little rumble. And then went away. What's that? Man, let me go ahead and take this car to the shop. Engine light came on when I was leaving work. Took it to the shop. They like, hey man. You're gonna need a new engine.

speaker-1: A new engine? Like the whole joint? Yo.

speaker-0: Like the engine. Head gasket jacked up to the point where the engine is jacked up.

speaker-1: That's devastating news. That is a gut punch, boy.

speaker-0: That's a gut punch, man. But let me tell you something. Look at God. You know what I'm saying? We I don't think I talked about it on here much, but you know. We're selling our condo. signed all the paperwork the other day. And so the next day my car broke. So, you know, the ink is dried on the paperwork, so you know, money should be in the bank as soon as the

speaker-1: Mike pulling up in a Bentley. Okay. wait a minute. I see what you alluding to, okay.

speaker-0: Nah, you gonna pull up to in a preence with a new with a used engine. Shout out to Japan.

speaker-1: Supposed to supposed to be blowing through that money like that? Come on, man. For the culture.

speaker-0: No.

speaker-1: Get you a a big chain and a and a the mink coat.

speaker-0: Man I ain't gonna say nothing, but there will be signs. Right.

speaker-1: That's what I'm talking about. Pull up in something shiny. I mean a Prius, I guess, is technically foreign, but

speaker-0: Toyota my hair.

speaker-1: I mean like European foreign though, not not no Asian foreign is what I'm with you.

speaker-0: Nah man. That's where we sat right there, man. But yeah, man, that was a little good punch. But you know, Tiff, she always makes me see, you know, my perspective. She's been doing that lately, which is crazy. But she just made me change my perspective on it, like, we good? We all right? This is what happens. You you're getting a new engine. So you're gonna get at least another 150,000 miles in your car, so you ain't gotta buy another car for like the next three years, at least three, four years. We can give that to Maddie. I'm like, yeah, you're right.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. You know what? A good woman is a cheat code. And that that's that's we're g get into that video, that's what part of it too. But a good woman is a cheat code. Mm-hmm. Right. I think I think he said a ten out of ten that you can't get again. That's that's a good woman. You know what I mean? Like when when you when you get down and she's able to pick you back up and and you know, you know, put your chin up, big dog. We got this. Like everything happened the way it was supposed to, and I got you. And we gonna figure it out and then boom. You know, you sign it, sign the paper. Well, I guess you signed the papers before, but everything is gonna happen. Like, you know, it's happened the way it was supposed to. We signed the papers the day before so we could get a new engine. You know what I mean? Like everything lines up the way it's supposed to. But it's it's again a cheat code to have a good woman in your life for sure. So

speaker-0: Yes, sir.

speaker-1: you gotta keep her.

speaker-0: Gotta keep it. What's good with you though, brother? What's going on?

speaker-1: man, I am I'm doing well, man. one thing that I think is is really cool, work this year is gonna be a little bit different. I got a different role, same role, but like officially got a different role. Right. Like I've been I'm I've been doing this stuff already, but I wasn't getting paid for doing what I was doing, if that makes sense. Like I so I I'm I got like a little bit of a it wasn't a whole lot, but it was like, hey, we recognize you're doing these things. And so we're gonna change your your job description a little bit to fit that. And because of that, we're gonna give you a little bit of a bump. Okay. And you know, just to to make sure that it all matches. And then they took something away though. Like so I was athletic director for for the school as well, for just for middle school, because we had a high school director. And we're gonna kind of back away from that. From doing athletics in middle school, because it was kind of dying off anyway. Okay. I was like pulling, pulling hairs, trying to get teams together, trying to get coaches, and I was able to do it, but it was a mess. And so this year they kind of want to back off of it, and we're gonna do maybe some e-gaming and stuff like that. We don't have to actually be in person, which is cool. So they were like, you don't need to be athletic director anymore. We're gonna take that off the table for this year. So that was like, I was getting a bonus stipend for that. So they told me that, and I was like, Damn, I'm finna lose that little bit of money. And then they they came back with this new role. It's like, but we'll be able to like offset the change. And so you'll actually be making a little bit more. You just won't have that title and that responsibility. And I'm like, hey, yeah, let me send this email. I will not be at the meeting. I know I confirmed, but I'm not gonna be there, which is cool. So I I It's interesting though how this all is kind of shaped now. We're talking about like things happening the way they're supposed to. So I talked about like wanting to be the digital more nomad thing when the girls retire and kind of switching into something that's fully remote. So I just started working through this project management.

speaker-0: When the girls retire or when the girls go ahead and graduate? Okay,

speaker-1: Sorry, when they graduate.

speaker-0: I'm just you know.

speaker-1: When I retire and they graduate from high school, I don't

speaker-0: See you gotta pick your people.

speaker-1: know if they're gonna be at the same time. I doubt they'll be at the same time, but I wanna get to a point where I can I can start working relatively soon in some remote remote roles that translate completely. Cause I'm hybrid. So I'm remote three to four days a week and then I gotta be in person for one of the days a week. So you're Prius for real, for real. Yeah. So I wanna be fully, fully remote where I don't have to be and I gotta be in California. That's the only I can be anywhere in California, but I gotta be in California on my my remote days.

speaker-0: we can get you a VPN and get you right. You always be Don't worry about that.

speaker-1: Right. so what I'm looking at is project management. I just started this program with Google. and so I'm working through it, got the first few modules knocked down, 100% on everything, all the tests so far. So but but the reason I bring that up is because the role that I've switched to, even though the title doesn't explicitly say project management, that's literally what I'm doing. And so I'm getting work experience. while I'm going through the program. So by the time I finish this program, like I would have I will ha will have had at least a year to maybe a year and a half of of qualified work experience that I can immediately put on a resume, which is which is dope. And I had no idea that this was gonna happen. It just kind of fell into my lap. That's fine. And that something I was already doing. So I'm like, man, this is this is really cool. It's amazing how those things work out. So that has been really cool. Families doing well, kids are adjusting to high school, middle school well. Reagan was sick today, but she went to school because she's in honors classes and she was like, I can't miss a day. I'm gonna fall behind and that's like being two weeks behind in a regular class. I'm like, bro, you'll be all right. Like you'll be all right. So she has school messaging us during lunch, like, I only got two hours left. What am I gonna do? It's like, no, thug it out, homie.

speaker-0: Yeah, you made that choice.

speaker-1: So other than that, man, life is good. I can't complain. Excited about, you know, this episode and and being able to connect again for another episode. I think every time we get to do this is is really dope. you know, it's an opportunity to have a barbershop conversation. Obviously, we don't go to the barbershop.

speaker-0: Take my hat off right now, you know.

speaker-1: look this guy. This guy. They're saying embrace it. Braun on the team now. We good. We're going to the finals. All men going to the finals, bro. We got Braun on the team. We good.

speaker-0: Apparently you are LeBron and I am also LeBron.

speaker-1: Yeah. Well no, you Shaq. You still Shaq.

speaker-0: S

speaker-1: Yeah, you still Shaq. Whoever they whatever they call us when we go to Asia, that's what you are. So you Shaq and I'm I'm Kevin Hart. Shaq, Shaq, Kevin

speaker-0: JOHN

speaker-1: Hart. I don't think they realize how small he is in person.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: but yeah, doing good, man. what can I congratulate you on right now?

speaker-0: Man

speaker-1: Well actually I know one thing before you give me whatever you're about to give me right now, congratulations on the sale of the condo. I know that's something that has been in the works for a while. It's had its ups and downs, but it is it is coming through when it's supposed to come through. So congratulations.

speaker-0: Thank you, Jesus. I'm gonna put it like that. It's been, it would have been a whole year in October. So we about one month shy. But it happened when it was supposed to happen.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. It came through in the what is it, in the midnight hour? Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: Yeah, that's I mean, yeah, man. I I take that. I mean, I'm forty six. Feeling good, feeling great. So, you know what I'm saying? A brother just made it to you know the other side of the forties.

speaker-1: Yeah, man, that's almost fi I like I said before, that's almost fifty, man. So you look good. Looking

speaker-0: Thank you.

speaker-1: healthy, your skin shining, you know what I mean? Melanated and

speaker-0: Yeah, I'm saying.

speaker-1: the beard full, looking real biblical. Like, come on, man. It's still black. I mean, you die you dying it, but it's like

speaker-0: okay. I see. They always gotta throw little jazz up in there. You know what I'm saying? Man, listen I

speaker-1: She's supposed to be salt and pepper like them.

speaker-0: got a little salt. Y'all can't really see it 'cause, you know, the jeans. If I can't have it up top, let me at least get it right.

speaker-1: Yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah.

speaker-0: Gotta take care of you. He ain't gonna close one door without opening another, man. I hear you. I hear you. I hear

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: you. But yeah, man, yeah, appreciate that. But yeah, yeah. Condo going and and and reaching this next milestone, second half, 40s. Feeling good, man. I'm actually feeling really good. So yeah, man. Congratulations to me. Yeah, congratulations, brother. All right, man.

speaker-1: Making moves and big Mike, real estate investor.

speaker-0: And what about yourself, brother?

speaker-1: man, I don't know if this is a congratulation, but I don't I haven't told you. I sold my car. I sold the Corvette. Yeah.

speaker-0: Hey y'all, I'm gonna get about here, man. I don't know who this is, how he got in my house.

speaker-1: Yeah, man. I I sold it. I sold it. It was funny. I've been kinda going over the idea in my head for a little while. 'Cause I don't I you know, I wasn't driving it as much as I I would like to. you know, I had it for three years. I had like eighty five hundred miles on it.

speaker-0: Hey, okay.

speaker-1: So like I wasn't driving at all. you know, every weekend here and there or I you know, run to the gas station for something or I'm about to go grab something from the store, let me let me take the car out. But Kids and crack. Yeah, with two kids and a wife, like pretty much every time I leave the house, somebody's got to come with me or get picked up. And it's like, well, I can't take the car today. So, you know, I'm I'm riding in the Prius or riding in the Honda. So like, man, it's just sitting up in the garage, it's taking up space at this point. It you know, I could do more with the garage. Not only that, I've been thinking about, and we talked about this in the last episode, talk about it now, like what what's what retirement looks like. And I'm like, man. I'm spending a lot of money on this car that I don't I'm not getting the value back. Like I could be putting this money into either the girls' college fund or putting it towards our retirement, right? Or paying off debt, right? Either way. Like I I can I gotta do something different. And so I kicked it around for like a week. And then by the second week, I had no feelings about it. You know what I mean? Like the first week I was kinda like, nah, man. And let me go to let me go for a drive and get my head, let me get my head together. And then Like a Sunday, I typically go on a drive on a Sunday morning and I didn't even want to. And I was like, Yeah, I'm getting rid of it. And and I saw I talked to Ari and she was like, Okay, if you're gonna do it, you know, like just think about it. So why don't you give it to the end of the year? Just drive it the rest of the year. She's like, We already we already accounted for all the money we're gonna pay for on it anyway, all the the car note insurance and all that stuff. Okay. So she's like, Don't worry about it.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: Just keep it to the end of the year. And I'm like, all right, cool. But I'm gonna list it because I I I'm in a couple of Corvette groups and the dudes are like, Man, it's been taking a long time to sell because the market is down. I'm like, all right, well, I'll I'll list it now and I don't expect to sell it, but I'll list it now and see what happens. So I listed it on a Monday. On a Tuesday, I had like six calls.

speaker-0: Damn.

speaker-1: On Wednesday, I sold All right,

speaker-0: Stop it.

speaker-1: look, man, and and so All I really wanted was I just wanted to get my money back on it. Like I wasn't looking to to you know to to make some huge profit or whatever. And I got my money back and then some.

speaker-0: Okay, nice.

speaker-1: Made made a nice little little little bit of money on top. And I was like, this is even better, right?

speaker-0: going out job

speaker-1: Right. This is even better. So yeah, I got rid of the car, man. It's now we got room in the garage. The girls can hit in the garage now instead of hitting by the pool. you know, it is we work out in the garage now, we got more room. I don't have to back all the cars out and clear out the dri like we're we're we're good, man. So I think I had one of those like impulsive I can do this things where I bought when I bought it was like I'm forty, I finally can do whatever I want to do. I got the money, you know what I mean? I'm gonna go do it. And it might have been like a midlife crisis kind of thing. You know what I mean?

speaker-0: I said it on here. Didn't I say it on here? No I don't think it was, but maybe

speaker-1: It was it wasn't impulsive because it took me a long time to get it, right? Cause I had it I had it built. So it took like almost a year before I got the car. So I had plenty of time to back out. but it was one of those things where it's like, you know, my whole life I had been getting used cars or getting a car passed down from somebody or whatever. And I was finally in a position to be like, I can buy a brand new car. I'm gonna buy whatever car I want. And that's what I did. But like I said, I didn't get the use out of it. I think I might still get something. like 'cause I just like sports cars. Like I like I wanna probably get a old school 'cause I can get a you know, I got several cars that I want and I can get for relatively cheap and and I can work on it and do all the stuff that I wanna do. You know what I mean? But I don't I don't need a a you know a brand new Corvette anymore.

speaker-0: Mm, you know it's a trip. this is kind of like in that same lane, but a little bit different. It's not the same, but it's still similar. I remember back in the day my mom had bought BMW, the seven fifty, the big boy joint, right?

speaker-1: Body.

speaker-0: And she would be like, I was still living at home, so she'd be like, take it. Go go go drive it. I'm like, nah, I don't know, man. Boy, just dry the cars. I'm like, all right. Getting that thing, you start feeling like this

speaker-1: Feel like Rick Raw.

speaker-0: was before Rick Ross was around, but I I felt like the boss.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. You was like Kane and Menace, right? He was like, the car is everything slowed.

speaker-0: I mean, I took it to Vegas. Me and Tim took it to Vegas one year. I mean, when I proposed to Tiff, we took it to downtown LA and we had the the the fake Louis Vuitton looking luggage and we pulling up to the hotel, the VIP, the whole experience it felt. You know what I'm saying? And I remember, you know, when I was heavy, heavy doing music, I met with this one executive and we met in the back of his Mercedes five hundred and he was like, You know what, Mike Man? And I was like, Yo, this is one of my favorite cars, this is amazing. He's like

speaker-1: Back of his car. Sounds a little prostitute, bruh.

speaker-0: We

speaker-1: But I mean the music business is different. It's a different.

speaker-0: I wanted to check it out. And he was like, come on, come send the car go ahead, come check it out. So having that meeting, he was saying, like, hey man, after a while it's just a car. No different.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: And I was like, Yeah, okay. Rich. Okay, whatever, bro. But then after driving the beamer around for a while, and my mom went, You you wanna take it? And nah, I'm cool. 'Cause it just became just a car. So after a while, maybe the vet just became just a car.

speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, I can agree. I can attest to that. That's exactly what happened. Like it it had it had value at the beginning because it was like a car that I always wanted. I always wanted a Corvette and had the opportunity to buy a brand new one. Then my cousin, right? My cousin, me and him kind of got closer because of the car culture. Then when he passed away, it was like sentimental stuff, like, man, I'm still I'm gonna do this Sunday drive because he used to do them kind of thing. And then it got to a point where it was like, I did it. Yeah, all right. Cool. Let's move on to something else. Like that that doesn't it doesn't light my fire anymore. You know what I mean? I get up on a s on a Sunday to go for the drive and it's just like, all right, I'm just doing it out of repetition now. Yeah. Yeah. Like Stingray Sunday was cool the first few times and then it was like, all right, no, I gotta go take this drive. Right. Right. Like, yeah, pull up to the Dutch Bros and I'm like, all right, let me get a coffee and take this drive, you know?

speaker-0: Damn, well congratulations, brother. Yeah, man. You know what I'm saying?

speaker-1: So like I said, I'm I'll probably get some like a project car more than anything, just cause I like working on stuff. And yeah, so well, you guys are you, you know, when when I get there, if I get there, I'll tell you guys about it.

speaker-0: Dope, man. Dope. So let's dig in, man. Alright. Let's dig in.

speaker-1: Do we need to play that again or you you you got it all? You can you can run with it.

speaker-0: well I can run with it. I can run with it.

speaker-1: Because it's it's kind of a longer video. Right. But there was another another video, and I guess we can we can splice that in or talk about it in general at some point here. Bro code, right, is the the overarching topic. And I know we talked about, you know, maybe some grown man code. And yeah, what does the the transition look like? Because as I said, like I I've been living in bro code since I was a teenager. Right. Matter of fact, my wife. us even getting together was a bro co type situation because my homeboy who's still both of our friends today, to this day, he liked her. And he was kind of like talking or whatever, but he's also her brother's best friend. And so he would be over the house all the time. And he was my like one of my best friends. Like he lived right around the corner from like literally right around the corner from me. He used to go eat dinner at his house, he used to eat dinner at my house, hung out with his mom and like I had a crush on his mom for a while and I still mess with him about it to this day. you know, every once in a while I tell him, you know, I'm a little older than you, so I'm, you know, I could have been your daddy. But but joking,

speaker-0: Mrs. Robinson.

speaker-1: right? Jokingly, jokingly. but because I knew he liked her, I asked first. Like I asked him, like, hey man, would you are you cool with it? Like, I y'all not really together, but I know you like her. And he was like, no, we just friends. And and so then I, you know, I started to pursue her after that, right? And and throughout the the before we became official, I continued to ask him. 'Cause I didn't want it to be like, you know, is y you just saying that cause you're trying to be cool. Like, are you really cool?

speaker-0: cool behind you know

speaker-1: You know, I mean, no, no, clearly, then the then you mean mother mean curious. So I, you know, I I I've been in the bro code situation then that in that regard in relationships, right? but then there's there's other parts to it, right? It's like, you know, you got a a homeboy, you have some responsibility to making sure that he is living up to his best, I don't know, living up to a certain standard, right? Whatever that is, or whatever the thing is that he wants to be or do or whatever, you gotta hold him up to that standard and accountability, right? And I think somewhere along the way, when we get from, you know, our twenties to our thirties, that changes, right? As our roles as men change. Yeah.

speaker-0: Okay.

speaker-1: And it's not so much just about chicks and what we do with with girls, right? It's it's You know, as a man, like you got a family now, dog. You got a house and you got kids and you got car like you can't be moving like that no more. We gotta hold each other accountable, you know.

speaker-0: Yeah, I mean I think you d hit the nail on the head early, man. We can kinda end the podcast right here. See what else you got.

speaker-1: Sorry, man. Crockpot. Let's just slow down.

speaker-0: But yeah, man, you you you graduate from junior high and high school and then this youth into You know what I'm saying? We becoming a man and and understanding responsibilities, what a man has, and that code has to change from bro to grown man code.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: I remember connecting with Mark, you know, he's one of my close closest friends also, and we hadn't hung out in like maybe, you know, a year or two or something, like just us as as as homies, you know, just hanging out. So we went to like our childhood spot, like a little Chinese spot over by the high school that we went to. So we met up there, like, man, we're gonna kick it. We were there for about five minutes. His wife called, and he was just like, I got to go.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: I got to go. And I was like, man, what's what's what's up with you, man? You you leaving cause your wife calling? You you you love your wife? But you you you funny, huh? You funny now? You know, just joking with him. But Understanding the code, it was like, yeah, you better go. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? If we own a phone, yeah, man, yeah, man, I'm going through and my wife called, hold on right quick. I gotta see what she's talking about first. Right. It has nothing to do with her just walking in the background and and me saying that so she can hear it. But you know what I'm saying? It's because that's the code. Yeah. It's the code that has matured. You know, we have to mature with the code. The code has to mature with us, cause ain't no way in the world you're gonna ever be like, You know, hey, Ari, I know you wanna do this, but Mike wanna do this. And it's always gonna be the bros first. So it's not happening. I'm sorry, love. I look at you like, bro, you okay?

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: Are you okay? And there was something, you know, that I think it was, what was the rapper that Shannon Sharp was was talking about, who has said it?

speaker-1: in a

speaker-0: Was it a leaf chopper? Chopper or What's

speaker-1: I know.

speaker-0: wrong? What's wrong? Wrong what's the

speaker-1: So it was one of them. One of them Y N's. he looked completely different when I seen him on that. Then I remembered him looking. So the first time I was like, man, he got long hair now? Mm. When that happened. But anyway, sorry.

speaker-0: Right? But yeah, no, basically what he was saying is like how you gon' trust a a dude that cheats on his wife? How can you trust that person? And

speaker-1: Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: I'm like, that's deep. It's part of the code. Like, how can I if my code in high school was I ride is out with this one and that one, if she call you I'm with you. I got you, bro. Is Rod with you? Yeah, he in the bathroom somewhere, but yeah, he's been here the whole time. We just been chilling, playing Madden 90 something 98, 99, 2005, whatever it was. okay. All right. Mm-hmm. Click. But in 2026, if Ari called me, like, have you seen Rod? No, I ain't seen him, but I'ma try and find him. I'm not sure. Here, let me get a phone to Tiff. Yada yada yada. We're gonna figure this out. I'ma call you right away. Nigga, where are you at? What are you doing? What's going on? And which would never be you, but you know what I'm saying?

speaker-1: If you had a if she called you looking for me and you don't know where I'm at, I'm on the side of the road somewhere. Y'all gonna call the police and put out a missing person. I got life 360 and all of it, man. I'm locked in.

speaker-0: There you go.

speaker-1: you know what I what I think though is I think when and this makes sense a little bit, when you're young, high school, college, you're date in the even in the dating world, right? Before you commit to somebody and get engaged, anything before that. I think a lot of times it's what's the old is bros before hoes, right? You know, you it's about friendships because those are your real relationships, right? Those are the people that you have connected with, whether you've opened up and shared, they just know stuff about you, right? Like you've had conversations, you've been in the trenches before, you didn't have them, you know, y'all might have had to fight somebody before. Like, know what I mean? Like y'all, y'all been through some stuff to some degree. And so it's always friends before before girls, right?

speaker-0: Right.

speaker-1: But I think when you get older and your roles and responsibilities change and now you're responsible for this person and you know they live with you or you you have a c you're a committed relationship with that person, you have a responsibility to take care of them and their feelings. And it's like, yeah, bros, not first. Like, nah, nah. It it's me, me and her and then y'all.

speaker-0: Then y'all.

speaker-1: And and and not even maybe and and eventually like it's not even me and her and then y'all, y'all, the y'all start sliding further and further down because you got kids, you got work, you got other stuff. I think when you're young, it's like the only real responsibility you have is to your friendships. and like cause those are the people that that are gonna be there to support you. But when you get a wife, she's the person that's gonna support you. Yeah, right. She's the person you confide in. She's like the first person you turn to. When something is going on. Like if something happens in your house, she's gonna be the first one to know about it. Like it ain't like you call your boy, like, yeah, man, hey, I'm finna get fired. Like, right. Nah, I don't I don't need to tell you that. I need to let her know. Cause inside this house, things gonna have to change, right? We're gonna have to make some we're gonna have to budget and do some different different things. And unless you finna send me some money over this way, like I don't I can't call you first. But I I think some of that gets lost in translation, right? As we're ascending. if our friend group isn't ascending with us, then there becomes these kind of these lines of of I don't even know what to say, I don't even what to call it. I mean, maybe just resistance. Right? Like if I'm if if it's just me and you, for example, right? You're older than me and you probably, you know, you're maturing faster than I am. You find a lady, you start, you know, you want to get engaged and you you start kind of maturing, and I'm still out here playing the field. Right. And so I don't understand how your your your code is changing. Yeah. Like it don't make sense to me. Now you tripping, right? matter of fact, the the Kevin Hart movie, was it 72 hours? That was that was one of the themes in the movie. It's like the dude that was getting married, his best friend was still playing the game, was still like being a kid. And so he the dude is getting married like, Y'all can't, we can't even really be friends like that anymore. Cause you on something, you on something totally different. and I think that happens a lot. And the guy who is maturing feels the pressure of bros over hoes. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? And then that causes some conflict in his own identity. So I think we got to get clear on on, you know, what where our trajectory is and what's most important to us. Obviously, like if you got a good friend, they gonna understand.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: Like you in your example, right? Like Mark had to bounce, you understood because you were a good friend, right? Like you understand the code. You understand like that that you know, your wife and your family come before me and they should. Like, I'm not competing with them. Like I don't have no reason to compete with them. but I think we have to understand that it as it as it pertains to not only relationships, but like the other things in a guy's life. Yeah. Right. Like in that video, he's talking about like if a guy is down, you know what I mean? Like bro code, you go pick him up. You like you don't talk about him because he's down.

speaker-0: Braggly.

speaker-1: I as a young man for sure. Like we was in college and you was talking about you was sad, like man

speaker-0: good old Buster O

speaker-1: You don't get your mark ass up out of here. It's a very different, different feeling, right? And I would expect you to do me the same way, right? Which is probably problematic, right?

speaker-0: But it felt normal at the time.

speaker-1: Yeah, everything was fair game. You know what I mean? I'm depressed. Yeah, you better get your depressed as

speaker-0: Stanky funky stuff about that bed, man.

speaker-1: Depress these controllers and get on Madden before you get twenty one point rules.

speaker-0: Two girls outside right now, you talking about you said.

speaker-1: Listen, you better take one of Talk to her about your problems or something. We gotta keep it moving. Yeah, but I think that causes problems for all of us. And and I think what he was saying in the video is is it's it's true to an extent, right? There's there's I don't think bro code is is dying. What I think bro code is not doing is growing and maturing, right? And and it's not it's not becoming grown man code as we're talking about now. is it's staying bro code, but the people involved in it are are growing. If that makes sense. Like a relationship, right? Like we two people in a relationship, we talk about they grow, they grew apart. Not really. One person continued to grow and one person stayed the same and had those same expectations and that other person wasn't that anymore. And I think we we have to recognize that.

speaker-0: Yeah, for sure. We should be able to see it. And I think it's really listen, man. Bro code in junior high and high school is the iPhone ten. But bruh, like iPhone 17 time now. You know what I'm saying? Speaking in nerd language, you have to upgrade your software. You know, you gotta upgrade your code. You can't keep the same code. You know what I'm saying? You keep the same code, you you're only gonna be able to do What that code has been designed to do. So you'll be able to be Mr. Player

speaker-1: Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: for you and your homies in your fifties.

speaker-1: It's a lot, it's a lot.

speaker-0: You what Biggie say being broke at 30 give give a brother the chills? Being any wife, man. Yeah, man. Being a player at 50 give me the chills. That's crazy. Even sugar free got a wife. Right. All right. Y'all better stop.

speaker-1: Learn something.

speaker-0: Message. Message. No, but you know, like you were saying, like there's different aspects of it besides just you know, being there for your for your bro when they're in a position and they have a good woman and you're trying to like, hey man, don't cheat on your lady, don't do this. It's also, hey man, I need to get picked up. I need I need help.

speaker-1: Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: I need someone that I can talk to. I need someone that can hear where I'm where I'm coming from, that can give me some good advice. I need you right now. So your code gets upgraded. I thank God for you and your upgraded code, because you know, we've talked about it on the podcast before, but you know, I was going through some things and I could call him and And then he wasn't on the other end like, crying like a one. Yeah, man, go ahead, tell me, man. No, it was like, no, man, you're gonna be all right, you can get through it, man. Y'all got strength, you do this, do that. You know what I'm saying? So thank God for Mr. iPhone 17 over here, you know what I'm saying? Cause when you're in need of that, if you don't got it, what you do?

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: It's all internal and and Us as men, bro, we are dying from diseases we don't need to die from. We are dying from literal loneliness. We are dying because we don't have anybody to reach out to, or we do have somebody to reach out to, but we've never upgraded our code and their code's not upgraded, so we don't we don't know how to. Still

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: got the old charging port and trying to stick it in there and it won't. And it's like, yo, you need a USB C. What what's that? man. Damn.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. Dead. Yeah, staying with that analogy though. I think that's a great analogy. even with the charging port, right? Because like you need to be recharged. But if you don't have the right hardware, right? Like if you don't have the right brothers in your circle or the right people around you, the right hardware, you can't even get recharged. That's not even talking about the software part of it. Like you you you don't understand what the differences and and things that are happening around you because you don't have the right software, but you can't even Lock into the hardware part of it. It's like so I used to well I used to work for this this training company, it was an online training company. Okay. I had to have an iPhone. So I'm not an iPhone guy. I don't subscribe to it at all. I'm I'm team Android. but I had to have an iPhone for this, for this company. So I went out and bought like an old one. it was like a six or something like that. So, you know, like the little little iPhone. But it was good enough to to do the work that needs to do until they upgraded the app and I could no longer use the phone. Okay. And it was like, I see you. It was like, all right, you have to buy a new phone. Like it was an iPhone-only app. I gotta buy a new phone to continue to do this job because that software, even though I had access to it before, had Upgraded. And so I had to upgrade not only my hardware, but also the software. And I think that's something that we have to realize is that as we get older, that that previous operating system don't work no more. Right. It was good for back then. Yeah. But right now you need something different. And if you don't have that, or you don't have that around you to even know that it exists, then you do end up in a situation, like you said, like it's a lot of us that are that are dying from stress. Mm-hmm. All right. It's a lot of us that are that are taking ourselves out because we don't have outlets. We don't have people to talk to. We don't have the right processing system to to deal with the trauma or the things that we're going through. And so the only option is hey man, none of these things work. Gotta get rid of it. Get rid of it all. and that's that's you know, that's not the way to handle it if you can upgrade your system.

speaker-0: Shh, that's amazing.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: Right? I'm fucking you, bro. Come on, man. You know what I'm saying? Y'all getting this for free. All right? Nah, but we definitely want to be up help each other, and you know what I'm saying? This is helping us too at the same time, you know. I was thinking about fatherhood and having that upgraded code in fatherhood where it's like In fatherhood, you can't even stay at the same stage where you were when you became a father. You know what I'm saying? Like before it's, okay, let me clean the baby, wash the baby, change the baby, birth the baby, upgrade the code, because the the the baby's changing too. Yeah. So now she or he wants to run around the house. So you gotta make sure that you ain't got no electrical outlet, let's, you know, expose. You gotta make sure that you don't have no Cleaning solutions easily that the baby can get to, because they're gonna get to it wherever it is, and put it in their mouth and this and that. And then they get older and they wanna play with you more and in a different capacity. You gotta upgrade, upgrade, upgrade. It does not stop. So I would even say the bro code is it doesn't stop. It just has to continue to upgrade. I think there are solid parts of it that will stay the same or that will always be a part of it. You know, but we can't stay on Windows XP. You know what I'm saying? We can't. It's it had we need to be able to do everything the XP did, but now we need to do it at a better level and at a different capacity.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. And and for the for the what I what I would assume the argument might be, or maybe the pushback on all this might be is like I I am who I am kind of thing, or like, you know, this is me, right? This is who I am. Mm-hmm. And and I think that that's true, but who you are should be ever evolving. Mm-hmm. Right? Like at there should still be some core to it, right? Like at my core, these are the things that I am. This is these are my standards, these are the boundaries that I'm not gonna cross or not gonna allow anybody else to cross. But outside of that, there still has to be some things that change. Like for example, we're talking about your car. Your car is still your car, but the engine got to get upgraded.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: You got to change the tires sometimes. You might tint the windows. You know what I mean? Like there are things that you can do. The car at its core is still the car, right? It's still the the thing that it came off the the factory or came off the lot that way. But there are upgrades that have to continue to be made throughout the life of the car. Gotta get your oil changes, gotta get your schedule maintenance. You know what I mean? You might want to get fancy, throw some rims on that thing. You know, I'm like you might want to change the paint color, but at its core, it's the same. And you're making those adjustments for the longevity of it, like because you want it to last forever. Some of it may be like just cosmetic. Like I just want my I just want the way that I am with my family to look different, to feel different. So I'm chang making this change or You know what I mean? Or I gotta make this change because I'm gonna be divorced if I don't make this adjustment. You know what I mean? Like it it's certain things that are that are maybe more dire, that are that are part of it, and maybe some things that just, you know, feel cool and they're adjustments. But at its core, you still you. It's

speaker-0: You're still you, man.

speaker-1: you have to you have to continue to grow. because much like a tree or or most living things, if you're not growing, you're dying. Yeah. and so We don't want that for you. Like we we want y'all to be around, man. So embrace the growth, man. Lean into it. you know, bro code is bro code and and it's good when it's good, but it's gotta grow and it's gotta become grown and it's grown cold.

speaker-0: Chrome Man Code, man. GMC. The real GMC. All

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: right.

speaker-1: What's what's the other GMC? the car?

speaker-0: Yeah, the car, you know what I'm saying?

speaker-1: That's still I mean, I guess the GMC is still around. Like I ain't seen Yeah. I ain't seen like a brand new man, the new you've seen the new GMC? Like a UConn or something.

speaker-0: Listen, man. Y'all better get it together, that's all I'm saying. Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean in and and obviously American companies.

speaker-0: The car comes.

speaker-1: As I as I say kind of all the time, if you're listening to a podcast about grown man game, you're probably already leaning into adjusting your operating system or upgrading, right? The reason you listen to stuff like this or you even lock into stuff like this is 'cause you're looking for opportunities and ways to to better yourself or to grow. And sometimes you just wanna laugh or you know, you you you know, Mike say something that's funny or whatever. but if you're hearing this, right? If you any for anyone under the sound of my voice, there are opportunities out there for your growth, for your development, and you may or may not be aware of them. but if you know that they're there, man, lock in. Yeah, y because you only you only get better. Life gets better, you get better, things start to be a little there's a lot less friction. When you grow, right? I think the the friction is is part of growth, right? There's stuff that happens that force you to grow, force you to change, force you to do things different. But if you have a mindset of growth, then they don't feel as awkward. You know what I mean? Like change sucks a lot of times, right? And

speaker-0: It's difficult.

speaker-1: it it's uncomfortable. But if you know that change is coming or you're open to the possibility of change, then it don't feel so bad. Yeah. You know? So we're getting older, man. And Life is looking different as you get older. Like even even like you say in fatherhood, like the way I'm a dad now, it's not like I was a dad even last year. Yeah.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: You know what I mean? Like I gotta be totally different. I got kids talking about totally different stuff at totally different places. Yeah. they don't want to hang out with us like they used to anymore. They rather go to their I mean they do, but you know, they want to go to their room, they want to hang out with their friends. Like Labor Day, right? We're supposed to have something. No, we're not having something. My kids are like, all right, well, I'm gonna go hang out with my friends. Damn, y'all we gonna be home? You wanna hang out?

speaker-0: Wanna chill here? We can watch a movie. No.

speaker-1: I want to see what my friends are doing. So it's like, all right, I guess me and mommy will spend some time together. Y'all get up out the house.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: but but you know, that that embracing that, leaning into that, like this is the stage that we're at. And I can't even I can't even stay here too long because I know the next stage is coming and I gotta be okay with that. And you know, holding on to an old version of bro code or or grown man code, even that, that's gonna continue to change.

speaker-0: Yeah, yeah. It got it's gotta upgrade.

speaker-1: I can't be like this when I'm a grandfather. I gotta go you know what's funny about being a grandfather is I gotta go backwards to being like I was when I was a first-time father. Cause some of that stuff's still gonna apply. Like, you know, think you talking changing the baby and feeding the baby, burping the baby, all that stuff is gonna come back. I'm gonna have the baby again. I'm like, yeah, you know, grandpa rod and it's all gray.

speaker-0: Nah man, you ain't gonna have to do that, man. That's not your job no more. AI? No, man. That's that baby smell a little stinky. Go ahead. Go ahead, go to the pub, go go ahead and dad.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, I don't yeah, I don't want the stinky diapers. But I'm I'm not against changing the diaper man.

speaker-0: I mean, you know, because you've upgraded your code, you know what I'm saying? Your man code has been upgraded. Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah.

speaker-0: Yeah, man. This was good.

speaker-1: I feel like it. I feel like there was some good stuff there. And and hopefully like as in every episode, I hope that there's a takeaway, right? I know for me personally, even as a a host of the show, I got takeaways. You know what I mean? Like there's there's some stuff that I gotta think about, you know, in terms of like where my code is. Is my code up am I up to code? Okay.

speaker-0: Hopefully.

speaker-1: Yeah. Like am I am I am I hitting the standard that I think I'm hitting and and should I make adjustments? Where am I at? And I think we all have to be kind of self reflective like that. Yeah. Not critical, but self reflective. Like I'm not criticizing myself. I'm not like beating myself up over it, but I I realize where there's some some maybe some weaknesses and some some some holes. Philem. Bingo. Bingo.

speaker-0: Find the gaps and figure it out, you know? Every every, I don't know how many, how often, but every so many months, the new super AI, whatever program gets a new upgrade. And sometimes even when the upgrade happens, they're like, we need to pull this back, fix this back, and the next upgrade is gonna be even better than this upgrade. So just being flexible. Yeah. Water. Ain't nobody perfect out here. I'm not. You know what I'm saying? So, but I'm I'm trying to upgrade

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: every in every situation. I want to be an upgraded father. I want to be an upgraded husband. I want to be an upgraded friend, brother, you know, just businessman, investor. Upgrade, upgrade, upgrade.

speaker-1: Yeah. And I think just to to I'm I'm a I'ma tap out on this, to kind of piggyback off what you just said, and I think that's important to to point out is is sometimes you are going to upgrade or try to make an upgrade and it just don't work. And so in the next in the know in the next version, maybe you pull that off the table and try something different. Like I tried that, it didn't really work for me in my scenario. I maybe I could do it a better way or a different way. But for now, I'm gonna table that, focus on this, come back to it with a better option. yeah. And that's okay, right? It's okay. Like if you upgrade and you try to do something different and it's not really working, it's all right, man. You ain't at the finish line. There's still time to make changes. There's still time to make adjustments. you know, you reassess and then get back to work. That's

speaker-0: That part.

speaker-1: it.

speaker-0: And with that being said, y'all, y'all can catch us on the social medias at

speaker-1: Grown man game pod. yeah.

speaker-0: And go ahead and hit us on the emails.

speaker-1: At the grown man game podcast at gmail.com.

speaker-0: Bo yeah. And

speaker-1: YouTube too. Yeah. Right. YouTube too. as much as as much as you can. Like, share, subscribe. I

speaker-0: Right.

speaker-1: mean, let people know. Tell a friend, tell a friend, and no Diddy, but maybe Diddy, right? Because maybe we could be friends, but not like him and his friendships. Friendly.

speaker-0: Can't be that kind of true.

speaker-1: But but yeah, man, I I I it's always encouraging to see the comments, to to see you know, people kind of talking about what's going on or what's happening on the podcast. we love to interact with you guys. So when you comment, we try to do our best to make sure we comment back. And if you guys have questions or comments, things you want to share, maybe things you want us to bring up or talk about, feel free to to message us or email us and we'll definitely bring it up on the next episode.

speaker-0: Yes sir. Alright. Grown mag, grown mag, mag gang, mag gang, man. GMG, GMG, GMG, CMG. What up, Rod? Got it, Mike.