Do Women Need Men for Protection? | Grown Man Game Ep. 019

speaker-0: Y'all, welcome back to the show. Grown man game back in the house, y'all. I am your man Mike alongside my brother, Rod. And we here to just get this thing back cracking, man. You if you're looking for us, we are on the social medias. Where can they catch us at, Rod?

speaker-1: Man, we're starting it off with that, huh? Man, we on ⁓ we're on Instagram at ⁓ Grown Man Game Pod. ⁓ we are on, we will be on TikTok soon as Mike gets his life together. Yeah, yeah. Come on. ⁓ probably the same thing, because I don't think it's another one out there. It's it's you know, we one of one. ⁓ and then if you want to, you know, get in touch with us for real, you can email us at grown mangame podcast at gmail.com. Yeah, I think that's all of us.

speaker-0: Yeah, that's all of them, man. I mean, you know, you can catch us on YouTube, Spotify. Yeah. Everywhere where you can ⁓ you know, watch us or where you're listening to your pod, you can catch us there too. So, you know, this is season two. We are back in the game again, episode trick. And what's been up with you, brother?

speaker-1: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Man, I I ⁓ had the distinct honor and privilege of celebrating the birthday of one of the greatest men I know. Michael Jackson. No. No, it was big it was Big Mike's birthday, just ⁓ just yesterday and ⁓ we got to get together.

speaker-0: ⁓ wait, hold on. It wasn't just yesterday, it was a week ago. Come on, man.

speaker-1: Whatever you say, bro. We celebrated Big Mike's birthday since the last time I talked to y'all. He's had a birthday. ⁓ and ⁓ we got to celebrate, get together and ⁓ you know, break bread, spend time with the family, and that's always ⁓ always fun. ⁓ you know, if you guys listened to the last episode, I gave my man his flowers and then ⁓ we were able to get together as a group and and and share and smell the roses, I guess I will say.

speaker-0: Yes, sir. Yeah, appreciate that. Yeah, man. It was a good time. It was a good time a week ago.

speaker-1: ⁓ but other than that, man, just chilling. Just, you know, kids is in school officially, everything everybody's in a ⁓ you know, they like in the groove. ⁓ my wife is back to work like normal. I'm kind of half working still 'cause school ain't officially in for us, but getting on getting there, right? I got like some stuff I gotta do this week in terms of events. So getting back in the groove, man. Getting back in the groove.

speaker-0: That's what's up. That's what's up, man. What about you? ⁓ same, brother, same. back in the groove. Maddie is back in school. we just moving, moving and shaking, man. Just pushing towards so I can, you know what I'm saying? Be at home more, you know. There you go. You know, so if y'all got any ideas you want to share with me and my brother Rod, you know, let us know. Hit us up, email us. ⁓ Cash App is at Grown Man Game. Nah, we ain't got no Cash App right yet, but it's coming. Patreon coming.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. Right? Who's that ⁓ the one buy me a coffee?

speaker-0: Yeah, yeah, whatever that w yeah, that part. That one too. Buy me a Corvette. for all our big baller listeners out there. Yeah, but no, man, everything's going smooth, man. I'm I'm I'm feeling good. I did want to ask you, like, with teachers, how does that work in the summer? Like, 'cause you know, you're going three months. Do you get paid? Does the pay stop? Like how does that

speaker-1: That's what's up. So it depends. So you you have the option to opt in or opt out. And so or certain districts are also different. So you'll have like a a 10 month ⁓ contract. So you get paid for 10 months, and then for those two months, you don't get paid. Okay. ⁓ and what you do is you can set it up so that they can pay you less and they'll pay you across the twelve months like your same salary. Or they could pay you everything in those 10 months and then you have to budget the those two months that you're off. Okay, I gotcha. ⁓ With my job, they do all opt in and opt out because we have summer school, because we're virtual, we have a summer school program. So if you opt in, you basically work year round. You get like two or three weeks off in the summer, two weeks, two and a half ish. and then you come back and it's more like paperwork and stuff until summer school starts. And then you have, you know, you're teaching classes or doing whatever whatever other responsibilities you are. So it's kind of a year round school. ⁓ for me in my position, ⁓ We don't provide the same services to our summer school students that we do our year-round students. ⁓ so I have a limited work role during the summer. Yeah, but most teachers like well, you know, if they if they are on that 10 month thing, they'll pick up a summer school class because they get paid a little bit more to do those because it was kind of like premium roles. So yeah. It it's a it's a nice gig though.

speaker-0: So

speaker-1: 'Cause you know, you got it's you could take it's only it's like the only job you could take two months off is still have job security. Yeah. And it don't take away your PTO or none of that stuff. So ⁓ yeah, it's it's cool. It's cool and it's not, I guess. If you don't budget it well, those two months could kill you. ⁓ or you know, teachers aren't paid as much as their value. You know, it it's extremely valuable position, extremely valuable role. And in some cases, depending on where you teach, it may not be well funded or well resourced. And so they don't get paid enough, you know, in a lot of cases. They have to come out of their own pockets to provide things for classrooms and stuff like that. So it's it's it's you know, it's tough.

speaker-0: And I don't think the teachers aides Hey I'm turning into Ross right here. I don't think the teachers aids do they get the same

speaker-1: ⁓ teacher's aid. So if you mean like a ⁓ where like they split time with the teacher, like that, or like just in a

speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, kinda like a classroom assistant.

speaker-1: They ⁓ yeah, I mean it's still technically a teaching role. They they obviously don't make as much as the teacher. ⁓ it's typically a part time role. ⁓ where they get w they basically take your yearly ⁓ stipend and then they or your yearly salary and then they they prorate it. Okay. Based on the hours. Yeah, so they don't get as much, ⁓ but it's an opportunity for them to learn from the teacher. ⁓ and then

speaker-0: Yeah yeah. I still prorate, okay.

speaker-1: Hopefully within a year to two years, they get their own class somewhere. Or their own whatever somewhere. So yeah. It was funny, we were just talking about that because Reese's fourth grade teacher ⁓ has always, as far as we know, split. So she has four days of the week and there was another teacher that had Fridays. And this was like, cause Reagan had the same teacher. So it's like for last four years she's been doing that. And we were always like, who would teach just one day? Like when it how how long do you want to just teach one day? But I mean, I guess she was like a stay at home mom the other f other four days. And then she would just work as a teacher that one day. So my guess is once her kid is old enough to be in school full time, she'll probably go into full time teaching. But right now she's getting the hours and the experience. So she'll technically have four years of experience when she starts her first year. So that might actually might work out.

speaker-0: She can probably ask for more, right? Because of her

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, because it's all it's all slotted based on experience. So instead of getting year one salary, she technically would get year five salary. Which is nice. Yeah. Nice little step. And I guess if you really didn't 'cause I'm assuming she really didn't need it like that, if you were only working one day a week, right? Somebody paying the bills, it ain't it ain't you. So now all of a sudden you're getting a full salary, that's a nice little little adjustment for the family.

speaker-0: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to get into something that you played a little bit earlier today, man. And I just really want to ⁓ I can't I can't even get it out. I really want to let the audience know about this man's hatred and the disrespect of Denzel, King of Acting Washington. You know what I'm saying? So a brother expressed online basically that

speaker-1: ⁓ come on. Go yeah.

speaker-0: Den well, basically he was comparing Will Smith and Denzel, and his thoughts were that Will Smith can play all of Denzel's characters that he's done, but Denzel cannot play all of Will Smith's characters.

speaker-1: See, this is what happens. This is what's what's wrong with this era. You too old to be doing this. So that is not what happened. So there was there was a meme posted that said that he was commenting on the meme. He did not say that Will could play all of of Denzel's roles, or vice versa. He was just giving his opinion. And there were some roles he thought that Will could play that Denzel couldn't, and vice versa. Now. I'll go back to my part of it. I I don't think that Denzel is not a good actor. I think that Denzel is Denzel in every movie, no matter who he's supposed to be playing. It's hard to separate the character from Denzel.

speaker-0: That sounds like in every man he can't act.

speaker-1: No, I'm saying he acts like Denzel very well in every movie. And whatever the lines are, Denzel can pull it off. But if you go to a movie, nine times out of ten, especially now, you're going to see a Denzel movie. You don't even care what the movie is about at this point. You want to go see a Denzel movie. The storyline don't matter. Doesn't matter what it's about. You're going to see Denzel play Denzel as Denzel in Man on Fire.

speaker-0: Slow down, but

speaker-1: Denzel as Denzel in training day. Like it's the same. Training day might be in the most recent films. Obviously, as a younger actor, there's some some departures where you you might lose him in some of it, right? But like once he became Denzel and household name, like everybody knows him, he's been the same character. Again, this is why I say he's so easy to imitate, because every movie you watch, you get the same stuff from him. No matter who the character is, you're gonna get the lip thing, you're gonna get ⁓ get your hands off me.

speaker-0: Crazy, right?

speaker-1: You're gonna get you know you're gonna get a lot of the same stuff because he is going to give you Denzel in every single movie, which is why in ⁓ what was that? ⁓ they did a part two to

speaker-0: Equalizer.

speaker-1: No, no, no. ⁓ Gladiator. And the second Gladiator, he was hard to be believable in that role because he had a New York accent in Greece.

speaker-0: I mean, did you see the first one?

speaker-1: I did.

speaker-0: You mean you mean to tell me that Joaquin Phoenix didn't sound just like Joaquin Phoenix always?

speaker-1: He definitely sounded and looked like he was the evil emperor.

speaker-0: You see? It's racism, man. Racist, man.

speaker-1: No, that's not racism, man. That's just Denzel's Denzel and no slight on him. Like I so I heard. So Ari Ari and her family went to go see him in Othello. ⁓ and they said he was good. I seen the the ⁓ the movie adaptation of it, and I was like, ⁓ whatever. But they said they saw him live on Broadway and it he Pulled it off. Like his he sounded like he had the right accent, his actions and his movements was all good. She was like, at one point you kind of lose that he was Denzel. And I was like, ⁓ wow. Okay. Well, I need to see that more. But typically, if you ask somebody, they're going to see a Denzel movie. Not whatever the name of the movie is. And to the Will Smith point, there are roles I'm

speaker-0: Mm.

speaker-1: positive that Denzel couldn't have played that Will played. And vice versa. But but for sure. I think when you look at Will Smith, you say maybe he has more range because, and this is not I'm not saying that he does. I'm saying this is what what you might say if you're arguing on the Will Smith side is okay. You can get comedy from Will, you can get drama from Will, you can get horror from Will, you can get action from Will, you can get romance from Will. You can get what are what are some other movies? Like other movie genres. That's five. You can get a biography from Will, a biopic or whatever they call it. Okay. So I mean he could play every one of those. I don't see Denzel in a whole lot of comedy. I don't even know if he's viable or believable in comedy.

speaker-0: It's still drama. He ain't playing no games, man. He ain't

speaker-1: So I'm saying. So that's that's one for will. That's a negative one for desire.

speaker-0: I'll give you that one. That's the only one I could give you though. I'm not really because I think I said it earlier, like when I think it was him and Mark Wahlberg had like that movie Two Guns. And

speaker-1: I don't think Mark Wahlberg's a good actor.

speaker-0: He's he's he you know what I'm saying? Now if you told me Mark Wahlberg plays the same person in every movie, okay, I'll give you that all day. That's disrespectful.

speaker-1: He does. Denzel light, yeah. Same, man, and it's cool because he he does it at a high level. He does it at a very high level, and that's fine, right? I'm cool with it. But I'm not I'm not yeah I just don't like that Denzel is the best actor.

speaker-0: He is, man. Sorry, brother.

speaker-1: There's actors out there that, and this is I'm not trying to pit nobody against nobody because I love the fact that we're talking about two black actors, the two of the best in the genre. I'm talking about okay, so somebody like Giancarlo Esposito. He's played everything. He's played every nationality, every every person, every type of person. He's been a crackhead, he's been a diplomat, he's been everything. That's range.

speaker-0: Okay. He's fire.

speaker-1: In a movie, you almost forget every other role he played, and every other person he's been. You even forget it's him. You he just becomes the character. Denzel is Denzel. Is it because he's larger than life?

speaker-0: See, I think that's what I was about to say. He's been cursed by incredible success.

speaker-1: Yeah, and so he I forgot he's mimicking it though.

speaker-0: You watch Malcolm X, there's no way you're like, ⁓ yeah, that's just Denzel. Like that, nah, that's Malcolm. That's Malcolm right there.

speaker-1: Yes, and that's early Denzel though. When that movie come out, ninety two?

speaker-0: Yeah, it's in the nineties. But I mean that's still

speaker-1: The movie after that has been Denzel playing Denzel. John Q, maybe he wasn't Denzel. Come on. But he kinda was, because there's parts of that it was equalizer. And the parts where he any gun totin Denzel is the same Denzel.

speaker-0: That's just It's the same it's the same script though. It's not you know, like we've talked about you don't really like Marvel movies too much 'cause it's the same but all hero movies are the same.

speaker-1: Yeah, that's what I say. All yeah, they're all the same.

speaker-0: So it's not you can't really bring too much spice to you can just put your

speaker-1: Yeah, but that's but that's my thing though, is like he isn't in just action movies, right? He's in a bunch of other types of movies, but it's the same character in a bunch of other types of movies.

speaker-0: I disagree, man. I disagree. All right. Pell Ham, Pell Ham12, what is it? Come on, man.

speaker-1: You can't even watch it watch movies. Can't even say the name of it. That was a hundred years ago. ⁓ was a movie where he was the pilot. Clyde, that was a good movie. Similar though. He's been a drunk in some other stuff before. Mo Better Blues, he had that whole little scene where he was drunk. That was that was his audition for the pilot movie.

speaker-0: Flight. Movie? Come on, man. That's what I'm saying.

speaker-1: It's like that he's like, all I've been just because it's not like there's no stretch for him. And that's but and I'm saying that because I'm only saying that because he's so talented at what he does that he doesn't have to depart from himself. I don't see Denzel doing like ⁓ what they call method acting where he just goes somewhere and try to be somebody for a while and really learn who they are. Nah, he's just like, all right, this is the script. I know how to do this. Yeah, see, but that don't mean that because you're just gonna do you. You're gonna do your interpretation of that person, not that person. Like in acting, you should be losing yourself in the character. He's bringing himself to the character. It's like, ⁓ okay, I'm gonna play ⁓ I'm gonna play Big Mike, and then you would just be he would be you, but he would be saying all the Denzel catchphrases. ⁓

speaker-0: Mm.

speaker-1: But he'll be like doing I never seen Mike do that. But all of a sudden now, Denzel playing him, he like, get your hands off me. Like Mike and Mike don't talk like that. See, that's that. Come on. Telling you, when he do when he he does the well, he won't cause, you know, by the time you go, he gonna be gone. Or say when he plays you in the movie, that's exactly what we're gonna get. We'll get

speaker-0: Benzel. Big mic, big mic, big mic.

speaker-1: Denzel Washington as Denzel Washington playing Mike Tow.

speaker-0: So disrespectful. See, when you become an icon, it is very difficult for people to look past your iconic status. You see I'm saying? Like Michael Jackson is gonna be Michael Jackson on whatever song he does, but it's not gonna always sound the same.

speaker-1: There does.

speaker-0: See?

speaker-1: What they don't what song doesn't it? Sound like Michael Jackson.

speaker-0: He go he Michael Jackson on every song, but it d every song don't sound the same, is what I mean. So, let's say I found my baby to nay.

speaker-1: We gotta adjust the volume right there. Geez.

speaker-0: Man, I do that work, man. That's compression, baby. We'll be all right. And then you got she sang. Come on, man. And you got butterflies.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: Tão pari, ansa.

speaker-1: So here's the here's the cool part. Here's the cool part about what you're saying is you're saying in those songs, Mike is different, different versions of Mike. In those in those songs in those songs with I don't know, I know butterflies he didn't write. Somebody wrote butterflies, right? Mm-hmm. So some of those songs, if somebody else writes them and they tell you how they're supposed to sound and they give you the reference tracks or what they do, whatever they do, right? And they help you.

speaker-0: Still might, but he's

speaker-1: puts you into a song, then Mike becomes that song with Mike. Not Mike Todd, but Mike Jackson, right? Denzel. Denzel gets that same coaching and goes, ⁓ no, I'm good. I'm just gonna I know how to do this. I'm gonna be Denzel.

speaker-0: Right? Now, I'll give you credit to one point. Cause when a song is written, a lot of times the writer will have to come in and adjust it to the singer. So it'll be like, okay, you need to make this sound more like Mike. So I could see a writer being like, a script writer being like, okay, Denzel is star power. He can be like, I probably wouldn't say it like this. So I'd probably shape more like this. So they probably adjust the writing to fit Denzel a little bit better. Denzel.

speaker-1: Listen, I don't know Denzel's I don't know his process, and I'm I'm sure he's a professional, right? Like he I'm sure he's taking notes and he's getting instructions and he's he's researching the character and trying to understand why a character is saying that way or feeling that way or the emotion behind the moment. I get all that. But at the same time, he still gives us the same stuff. Somehow he's gonna work that in there. He's gonna work that in there. He gotta get it in there.

speaker-0: You you go to Quincy Jones for the Quincy Jones sound, baby. I'm sorry, man. You go to Timberlin.

speaker-1: Okay. But put it to make in my point though, yeah, the Timbaland sound is the sound that you get when you go to Timblin. The Denzel is the Denzel you get when you go to Denzel. And it's doesn't matter the movie, you're gonna get Denzel.

speaker-0: Nah, cause a different song's gonna sound different. Every Timberland song don't sound the same.

speaker-1: It's got the double up in there somewhere. It's got the double up. It's got the double up in there somewhere. You know it's a Timbaland track. Neptune's gonna have a little ⁓ some something kind of ⁓ futuristic or like some kind of little pff.

speaker-0: For sure. So that's what I think it is.

speaker-1: His He's got a tagline. He got his tagline.

speaker-0: Yeah, it's gonna be on there. His flavor is just gonna be on there. Even it's the same thing with directors, you know what I'm saying? It's gonna be ⁓ Tarantino's gonna have his well all his movies aren't the same, but you can kind of put them in a

speaker-1: Tarantino. have some some gore or some something like something they're gonna be edge edge there's gonna be some edge or something. ⁓ yeah yeah yeah yeah you gotta exclamation point every sentence or for sure. anyway.

speaker-0: And he's gonna say N-word in there a million times. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, man. Just wanted to get this thing open and and you know, letting y'all know how much of a hater Rock can be at times, man. As great as this brother is, you know.

speaker-1: I see Denzel on the street. I would say, you know, you're one of the greatest actors, blah, blah, blah. Like that's true, but you know. Still the same. He might. He might. He might. That's leaping him with something. That's fine. He can do that. Cause I know. No, he can't. Litigation. Litigation. Nah, let him hit me. What you talking about?

speaker-0: Denzel might steal on you, man. He's from New York, ain't he? Yeah, but Let ⁓ hit us then. We can't do anything.

speaker-1: I'm saying enjoy step in the middle. I'm just gonna defend myself, but I'm gonna let him get off and let him get off first. Make sure everybody can see it.

speaker-0: Nah man, but you know we gotta get we gotta get moving to this congratulations, brother, man. You know. I feel like you need to congratulate yourself about something because every week we need we need something, man. It don't gotta be huge, y'all, don't gotta be life-changing. It's just

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. You know, something to be congratulated on. Yeah, it's just a recognition of of an of an accomplishment or or feeling or a moment, right? Because I think a lot of times as men, we don't we don't allow ourselves to enjoy the process, right? Like whatever it is we're trying to work towards, whatever it is we're trying to do, we be moving towards it, and then that's it, though, right? We only focus on the finish line and whatever the little milestones along the way, be like, ⁓ we're supposed to do that, right? We don't give ourselves credit for it. So Who what do I need to be congratulated for?

speaker-0: Come on.

speaker-1: What the H have I done? You know, this is small, but I've been working on managing my mood. I'm pretty like even killed, but like sometimes I get triggered. And ⁓ so me and Ari had like a little, I didn't think it was anything. I mean it was something, but I didn't think it was big enough to get, you know, get it get into my feelings about. Okay, okay. ⁓ but apparently she did. So she but we weren't together. So like we had like a little back and forth on the phone and I didn't think it was nothing. So I just like, you know, after we got off the phone, I just kept kept it pushing. And then she was ruminating over it though. Like it was bothering her. ⁓ and then we got back together. She brought it up. And then, you know, through discussion, I was like, ⁓ yeah, I didn't I wasn't like ignoring the fact that it happened. I just I don't know. I like I felt like I had a bunch of other stuff to go. Not that it was important, but like I just didn't think it was something for me to get like ⁓

speaker-0: Yeah, you husb you a husband, brother.

speaker-1: flustered over. Right. So positive and negative, right? Like the positive is is that I was able to kind of like reason through it, allow it to happen, find my peace in it and continue moving forward. Okay. As opposed to like getting caught up in it and not being able to like handle business where I'm just mad now and I'm I'm lashing out at people or I'm ⁓ and then the other part of it was

speaker-0: Mm. Okay. We're Yeah.

speaker-1: Other part I'm cran congratulating myself about is the ability to communicate that to her later on, right? To be able to have that conversation. Because again, typically not being in touch with your emotion or how you handle your emotions or having emotional intelligence, I would have been like, you know, it would have turned into more, right? And it would have caused some kind of riff or some some drama or whatever. ⁓ but this was like handled. It was just like, all right, we're cool. I'm cool, you cool, okay. You can say what you need to say. I said something to say. All right, let's get back to business. And ⁓ so yeah, that's just a small thing. Like, I don't, I don't know, you know, how often that happens for people, but I think you know, it was something that I noticed that happened. I was like, ⁓ man, that's a that's a win for us. So there, that one. All right. Appreciate you.

speaker-0: Congratulations, brother. Mmm. Mmm. Nice, nice. ⁓ yeah, I'll stay in the same realm. ⁓ well, no, not kind of sort of. ⁓ it wasn't super big, it was kind of big-ish, but ⁓ I feel like we talked about this before, maybe not. But I decided to start looking for a therapist. Okay. Just to see where I'm at. You know what I'm saying? I don't, I don't. feel like I have any issues or anything, you know, running wild in my brain or that's holding me back. But I mean, who knows? It's possible, you know what I'm saying? Something could be holding me back that I'm just holding on to and my brain is protecting me from whatever the feelings.

speaker-1: It's just like getting a checker. Like you drive your car for a hundred thousand miles without going to see a mechanic at some point. Yeah. Like, yo, it's running smooth, but I put a lot of miles on this. I should probably go, you know, have somebody kick the tires or something and check the oils.

speaker-0: Yeah, let me make sure. Okay. ⁓ okay, let's just flush the radiator.

speaker-1: Yeah. Or just get some confirmation, like, ⁓ yeah, everything is going smoothly. Like, yeah, yeah, it sounds like everything's going well for you, you know? ⁓ yeah.

speaker-0: Yeah, thank you. No, no, no. I was just, you know, I on Dan We Grown, we interviewed a therapist on the show. We could probably have her on this show too, we really wanted to. And, you know, she was just we were just talking about the load that men have and how we have been conditioned to be like, I got this. I ain't worried about it. Put it on me. I got it. Throw it on my shoulders. That's something that I tell my wife all the time. Look, give it to me. God gave me these shoulders for a reason. Give it to me, you know? Mm-hmm. But she was like, Well, what makes you think that she can't handle some of your stuff? I said, Well I said, Well, she can. That's why I married her. She definitely can. So she was like, Well, then allow her to. And I'm like, But I mean, I'm been conditioned to be, you know, strong, straight. She was like, Well, what makes you think that that's strong? That sounds like weakness to me. That sounds like

speaker-1: Mm.

speaker-0: Not being able to give somebody that is your partner, help me, a piece of whatever pressure that you're dealing with and allowing her to help you and make your life even easier, even better. You want to do, you know, all these things for her, right? And I'm like, Yeah. Then what are you worried about that for? I'm like, damn. Okay. So I've, you know, I've been trying to practice to

speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah.

speaker-0: give her certain things, you know, 'cause you know, you if when you know your your wife, your partner, like, there's certain things that you know, like Tiff is very much like Full speed ahead or stop. So if I'm like, hey, the electric bill is $600 this month, we need to calm down. Okay, she ain't gonna run an AC for like two weeks. Like, baby, no, we we go to work to be able to have a comfortable house. Just turn it to, let's turn it down to 78. Let's keep it at 78. ⁓ okay, cool. You know, so there's certain things that may pop up, and I'm like, ⁓ I don't know. But I've just been able to give her. Yeah. More of the stuff that's on my plate that I'm just thinking about or worrying about and are or just need help with and she's been lifting it up like the person that I knew she would be when I married her. So I'm like, yeah, man, let me go ahead and see what this therapist is talking, man.

speaker-1: Yeah, that's dope, man. Therapy and delegation. Both of ⁓ are important.

speaker-0: I'm saying have you ever d ⁓ thank you, brother. Thank you. Have you ever dealt with what do they call it? ⁓

speaker-1: Doing your thing.

speaker-0: decision fatigue? Yeah.

speaker-1: Yes. yeah, yeah, yeah. And then usually what happens in this situation is I just put it off. Procrastinate. But yeah, like there's there's we have busy seasons, right? And and because of my gym, it's seasonal. It's not, it's year round, but it's heavy se heavier parts of the year, right? school working at a school, there's heavy parts of the year, having kids who are in both sports and school, there's heavy parts of the year. ⁓ yeah. And then just like life and relationships and things that happen, like there's just more to be done at certain times of the year. So we get into those busy seasons where it's like, I don't wanna I don't like the worst possible thing you can ask me is like, what's for dinner? Like this one of the things like, man, I don't know. I don't want to make no more, especially as the day goes on. Right. Like this is like, bro, I I'm better now. And just like I used to have like brain fog and like you just fatigue as the day goes on. I'm much better now. But like as far as decision fatigue goes, that's why I plan stuff or put stuff on the calendar or try to get as much done early in the day as possible. Because then it can just kind of run smooth. Like I don't have to think about, you know, getting this done or that done. Like I know when it's supposed to be done. I know when it's gonna happen. Because if I don't, it's just a series of things that are just kind of happening to you. Right, over and over again. And now you haven't to make a decision on the spot in the moment. Yeah. Which, you know, over the course of maybe not one day, like you probably handle it one day. Yeah. You know, one week even. But by week two, you'd be like, Man, fuck these kids. Like, you hungry? Go in the kitchen. Like, what's what you looking at me for? Like, go figure it out. Go eat some of that expired cereal Uncle Mike gave.

speaker-0: Listen, man. It's just a suggestion. Best buy day. Come on.

speaker-1: Suggested date. ⁓ but yeah, I definitely have dealt with it. ⁓ and my my solution is not by any means a a complete, you know, remedy for it. Right. But it's helpful. It's just, you know, scheduling things, putting things on the calendar, ⁓ having an idea ahead of time of what's coming up. And so, you know, I have a decision for it already, or at least have a plan for it already. ⁓ so those aren't things that I have to think about. Like you see, ⁓ like Bill Gates or you for various people that wear the same clothes every day. So they don't have to make that's one less decision they have to make. Right. Yeah, black tea, blue jeans, whatever shoes that they wear every day. R run over n ⁓ running shoes. Like they've been dragged through the mud. ⁓ but that was the idea behind that, right? It's one less decision. They already have too many things to think about. and so, you know, I got a bunch of black shirts in my closet. all the way across it's a bunch of black shirts. but you know I I feel like I don't have the space or the bandwidth to leave room to possibilities. You know what I mean? I think I I'm planning for that. I'm I'm preparing for that as we get old my girls get older and you know, me and my wife retire. then I wanna be able to just like, all right, we what we gonna do today? Let's make all the decisions then. Let's just figure this out. Okay, we wanna do that, let's go do that.

speaker-0: Float the Do you feel that's gonna be a hurdle for you to get over since so many years you've taught yourself to be disciplined, hit this hit this point, hit this next point, this is, you know, on the schedule, on the calendar. Do you think it's gonna be difficult to make that kind of transition?

speaker-1: I don't know if it's gonna be difficult, but it'll be different. I think I think my default is that though. Like on on the days where we don't have anything, like this weekend we don't have anything. And I have no plans. So I'm just whatever happens this weekend is what's gonna happen.

speaker-0: Party over at Rod's house, we coming over. I'm bringing movies, it's going down.

speaker-1: You just made the decisions, right? Like I didn't have to make ⁓ But yeah, so like it is gonna be an adjustment, ⁓ for us because we both are very like meticulous about what happens throughout the day, or at least like i last night before we went to bed, we went over the whole week of what you have, what I have, what the girls have, like who's doing what, who's taking who where, what we need to do and ⁓ I think when we get to retirement and that doesn't exist anymore, We are going to have to figure that out. And that's it. We're kind of planning a soft retirement, like working our way into that. Like I don't think anybody should go cold turkey from a fully planned week to just, ⁓ he ain't doing nothing. Just whatever happens. Cause I think that's how you end up going back to work. Yeah. Like that happened to my dad. He was retired for six months. And he was like, I don't know. I did all the stuff I was going to, I did all the yard work. I did all fixed all the stuff. And then he was like, I was just sitting around the house. So I don't know what I'm going to do.

speaker-0: Man. Yeah, you still gotta have some activity.

speaker-1: Yeah. So he he ain't a ⁓ sit still, do nothing kind of person. So he went back to work.

speaker-0: Same job or just a different

speaker-1: Bang, yeah. Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: Richard, you back? Yeah.

speaker-1: I mean, this so let me let me preface it by saying it's his business. Him and my uncle own a group home or they all they owned a series of group homes in Richmond. They only have one now. ⁓ no, they have No, they have one. They had two, but I think they just closed one of them. Because the the state is going away from group homes in general and changing the whole landscape or whatever. It's a whole bunch of like stuff. But they still have one. like dedicated group home. And so he went back, but he's just doing the same stuff he'd been doing for the last thirty years. So it ain't like, you know, it wasn't like he just he he stopped working his job and now he's a greeter at Walmart. Like he's doing something completely different. He just went back into his old role and, you know, he been there forever. He's done it. He built the company. Like he knows exactly what to do. So it's just something to keep him busy. True. Right. And keep him engaged. And he only works three days a week, three or four days depending on a week. So It's not like he went back full time, but he just couldn't stay at home. Like he was, my dad me and my dad talk infrequently, like whenever, but we we every Sunday we talk on the phone. I don't see it, man. He was calling me like every day. What you up to? What's going on? Are you okay? I just talked to you yesterday. What's going on? ⁓ nothing, man. I just was checking in on you. See, how my girls doing?

speaker-0: Ding. Like pop.

speaker-1: They're fine, man. They didn't do nothing different from today to yesterday at school right now. I don't know how they're doing. Like I don't know what's going on with them. So yeah, he had to find something to do with himself. And ⁓ yeah, I just don't want that. I don't want that to be the case.

speaker-0: Just leave me alone. Yeah, man, 'cause th you can't don't be calling me every day like, Hey, what's up, big money, you wanna record today? Right, man. We can record twice a week, but you keep calling, talking about let's record every day, man.

speaker-1: No, I'm not gonna send you. I'm not gonna send you videos. I'm gonna call you and talk about them. ⁓ man, I just seen this video, man. Listen, we gotta get on the podcast and talk about that. Come on, man. What you doing right now?

speaker-0: Have you seen the new Denzel? It's just like the old Denzel.

speaker-1: Right? Training days seventy-five, starting ten zero. We do the one in the wheelchair.

speaker-0: Mm. Put him in the front seat, I better woke him.

speaker-1: Yeah, exactly.

speaker-0: Mm. Yeah. I I dealt with well, we're supposed to be talking about something else. We like 36 minutes in. Okay, cool. So I dealt with, you know what I'm saying, dealing with and it's getting a lot better, you know, but just that pool of decision making. It will be small decisions, big decisions. Like I'm fine, like me and Tip, we can sit down, we can have decisions together, figure it out, the big ones.

speaker-1: Yeah. We got no time for it, I think.

speaker-0: But it would just be so many decisions she would call me about. And it just got, I just got to a point where I was like, man, stop. Don't call me and ask me. You are capable, you make the choice, and then we can go from there. So my situation was more of her being like, you know, she might be at the store with Maddie. What do you think about this dress for Maddie? I'm like, you the fashion, you know, person. I I don't know. Is it appropriate for her? Cool. Okay, okay. What do you think about this color paint for the for my room? It's your room. It's your office. Whatever color paint you want for it, rock with it. So things like that. And then, you know, it wasn't too crazy, but then it kind of just built up, built up, built up where it was just like, you know, that situation where you have something built up with a person and they slam your car door, then you like why you keep slamming my dad? Like, what is

speaker-1: And they like, what the is wrong with you? Yeah.

speaker-0: That, you know, kind of situation kind of happened and I had to check myself and, you know, talk to her about like, hey, you are a capable person. Like I married you for a reason. You know, kind of what the therapist was telling me at the same time. But and and one of the things that made a lot of sense that kind of calmed me to it and made me understand, but at the same time I had to alert her to my feelings, let her know how I felt, was that something that, you know, your wife and and well, Ari and Tiff had Talked about and laughed about. And it was, well, you guys are such good men in a way that we're comfortable with you. We trust you that if we're going out together, I can turn my brain off. And I was like, You turn your brain off. She's like, Yeah, I can turn my brain off. I don't have any worries. I'm with you. I know you got me. We're good. I can turn my brain off. I don't even need to use it when I'm with you. And I'm like,

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

speaker-0: That sounds insane, but also that's like, wow, that's amazing. Yeah. That's amazing to hear. Cause these women are not no just whatever kind of women. These are right incredible women. Right. So to have an incredible woman woman tell you, like, hey, I can turn my brain off when I'm with you, is like, well, damn. Okay. All right. Yeah. So, you know, getting that from her, learning that, it kind of softened the blow of having to make certain decisions and then discussing with her, like, hey, it's not that I need your guidance. It's it's that I just want your opinion because I value it. And I'm like, okay. Yeah. I get that too. But just don't value my opinion that much. Give me a little space here. But we've been working it out. And it's like, ⁓ okay, fool, cool. Like I feel more comfortable about it, man. But Yeah, man, that was just my one two sense that popped up in my head when we were talking.

speaker-1: Yeah. I mean, but the the good thing about it though is is kind of as you mentioned, right? Like you've we, but you, because we talk about you, you've created a space where she can one turn her brain off, but then two, where it's like you are leading in a way where like she wants to know what the leader or what you think, right? One, 'cause she values your opinion, but two, also because she knows like you have input on it. Right. There's a lot of people in a lot of households where like men have no idea what's going on in their house. They just go to work, come home, you know, the check gets deposited, then they go back to work. Like stuff is happening around them, not with them. Like not even with their input. Like they have no idea. ⁓ and they just are like, you know, almost I don't want to say a puppet, but kind of a puppet, right? Because when they show up for the family stuff, it's only because somebody told them to be there, told them how to dress, told them what to do. Like, you know what I mean? So I I I I can I I think it's a good thing, right? And I've experienced what you're talking about and I think it's a I I'm realizing that it's a good thing. And it at the same time, it doesn't mean that it can't be too much of a good thing sometimes. Like, you know, like yeah, sometimes I do. But then I fight that same battle where it's like, all right, don't. Like just handle it, right? And then sometimes I'm like, let me handle it. Well, like why you keep inputting, ⁓ I you said you was gonna let me take care of it. Why you keep asking me about it? Take care of it. Like just get out of here. But it it's it's it's walking that fine line, right? Like like the little thing that we had, the little back and forth thing that we had that I mentioned earlier was one of those things. Like I was going, I was handling it. Why do you keep asking me about it? But I wasn't tripping because I was still just handling it. Yeah. But it was like at the same time, like, ⁓ I don't know. Cool, man. Yeah.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's difficult. It is not an easy thing. And we both have those kind of wives that are very much I well, I don't you know, I can't say that all women are this way 'cause I don't know all women, right? But the the stereotype is like, okay, if my wife or your wife asks you to water the lawn, if you don't do it within that ten minutes where she thinks it should be done, next thing you know she's out there watching

speaker-1: ⁓ yeah.

speaker-0: You're like you you just asked me to water the line, I was gonna get to it. Well you was taking forever, so I just went ahead and took care of it. So it's fine. Okay.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then they defend sometimes there's stuff on the list that've been on the list for a little while. But the the problem with the honeydew list is like there isn't like a ⁓ it would be cool if it was like a sheet of paper, because at the end of the paper, like you can't write no more. And they just be throwing stuff in there. I'm like, yo, I was definitely gonna get to number two, but then you said number five, and number five has some precedence over number two. So number two just got moved down. And while I was working on that one, this one came up like

speaker-0: ⁓ yeah, that honeydo list is

speaker-1: Yeah, I'ma get to it, but you can't keep adding stuff in. And so, yeah, it's just some it's some stuff that being like we're supposed to get this new screen door for it's been like a year. And like it's on my list. It's on my list. I promise you. I know it's supposed to get done, but other stuff just keeps coming up. Yeah. And it's not like the most important thing. It is a it it's not the most important thing until it messes up. And then it's like, ⁓ I should have did it. Or

speaker-0: Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: Now it messes up, let me take that back. When it messes up on me, messes up on the kids, messes up on on Ari's dad, no big deal. When it messes up when she's going out. Yeah. Damn. Damn, don't don't you just stay inside. You always going outside messing up stuff. Right? Running the AC at seventy eight.

speaker-0: Mm. ⁓ All this good air in here. Man, come on, man. We need to pop that thing up to eighty, man. Trying to save some money out.

speaker-1: All right. Do you wanna get into this this lesson? You think we got time?

speaker-0: ⁓ we about forty four minutes in, man. ⁓

speaker-1: We can hash it in fifteen.

speaker-0: I I think we can. All right, man. Let's let's get into it, man. What's what's what's going on?

speaker-1: Okay, all right. All right, so there, you know, you do the street interviews, right? Like everybody's doing street interviews now. Some of them are ⁓ culturally appropriate. Some ⁓ some of them are appropriate, some of them inappropriate, some of them are like questions about politics, whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Men versus women. This one is kind of a men versus women thing. and it's like, so the dude is out on the street, he asks this lady, ⁓ what would women do? Or sorry, who would protect women? If there were no men around. No, I've seen the the there's several of these, right? Where it's like women don't need men. They talk about they don't need men. And so the guy goes out and he asks questions or whatever. But this one particular one, ⁓ he asks, What who would protect women if there were no men? And then she says, protect them from who. And that's a very interesting point because I personally think, and I think you you got the stats on it, but I do think a lot of women's needs for protection.

speaker-0: Mm.

speaker-1: They don't come from women. Right. They come from men. Right. There may be some environmental things like there may be a snake or like a bear or something like that. We fight off a bear, yeah, punch a shark in the nose or something like that. But more often than not, women are or ⁓ acts of violence towards women come from men. Yeah. Or women being taken advantage of. They go to the to the, you know, get their car fixed and my man at the the shop is trying to charge him thousand dollars to ⁓ change the oil.

speaker-0: Right.

speaker-1: ⁓ like stuff like that. Like men take advantage of women at a higher clip. So if men aren't around, not to say that women don't take advantage of other women, because that definitely happens. Violence, I'm sure, happens from women to women on women. but that's an interesting thought to have because I do think because I got daughters, right? And I'm not I'm not telling them to look out for women. I do tell them like, you know, friend like friends and stuff like that, right? You gotta be careful with friends and sometimes friends can be manipulative or they might get you into trouble. So you gotta be careful and all that kind of stuff. But I'm definitely not telling them like, hey, when you're in the parking lot late at night, look out because women might be out there. You know, ⁓ you wanna go grab something out of the car. I'm not going outside to watch you go to get something out of the car because I think women are lurking. ⁓

speaker-0: That's so true. ⁓ I had like a quick story. So ⁓ I used to work nights, not really night nights, but I would get off at like maybe 1:30, 2 a.m. So I'm walking out with four of my coworkers. They're all women. And it's a long walk from the building to the parking lot, right? So the parking lot is it's lit up. to an extent, but it's very far from the building. So if something happens in the parking lot, it's gonna be about a tenth of a mile where you got to run to try and get help from somebody, right? And it's Friday night, it's, you know, pretty much getting deserted. Everybody's like, weekend, I'm gone. Mm, you know, whatever. We some of the last people getting out of the building. I hop in my car, everybody seems to be pulling off. I pull off and I see one of my coworkers, a woman, and she's like standing at the front of the parking lot. And I see her and like, why is she still there? But I'm like, mm, okay. But then I get to the stop sign, I'm like, nah, let me go ahead and turn back around. So I turn around and I'm like, hey, you okay? She's like, ⁓ yeah, my husband's coming. My car's in the shop. So, you know, ⁓ I'm just gonna wait for him. He should be here in like five minutes. So I'm just like, hey, is it cool if I just hang with you until he comes? It's like, ⁓ yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, yeah, yeah. So I just park, we talk for like two, three minutes, husband pulls up, boom.

speaker-1: Thank you.

speaker-0: He sees me, Hey man, thank you, dog. Thank you. I'm like, ⁓ man, for sure, man, no problem, you know? Yada yada.

speaker-1: She got beat on the way home. Thanks a lot. She was out there talking it.

speaker-0: I'll be out there. ⁓ black dude, huh? Yeah. But ⁓ you know, it was it was an unspoken thing with between me and the husband, knowing like there's people out here lurking. She's very capable, but people may see her as a victim, as okay, here's food. Food. This is a steak. I'm about to go get this.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: And that's how a lot of times how I explain like white privilege to people at times through male privilege. But that's a kind of, you know, a different, a different ⁓ discussion. But I wanted to get into some of these numbers. We don't have to go super deep. But when you we are looking at violent crime, men roughly commit ninety percent of violent crime. And that's not just in the States, that's globally. according to, you know, ⁓ United Nations Office on Drug and Crime. So statistically

speaker-1: Is it accurate?

speaker-0: Yeah. 90% of all you're talking about ninety percent of all like you know what I'm saying? I'm sorry, excuse me, eighty to eighty five percent of all violent crime, ninety percent of all homicides, right? And then you got right, it's a big difference. ⁓ and then you've got an estimated ninety-five to ninety-eight percent of all sexual violence, so that is rape, molestation, sexual assault is committed by men. So if you subtract that, there's a twenty to fifteen to percent chance of you know, a violent crime happening in the world with no men. And then if there's no men, there's a ten percent chance of homicide happening.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: And if there's no man, there's a two to five percent chance of sexual assaults happening. Like damn. Damn.

speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. We we ⁓ and that's why like doing something like this, having this podcast or doing some of the stuff that we do is is important because We gotta get our shit together. You know what I mean? Like it it those are staggering numbers. Yeah. Like there's there's no debate. Like I'm sure, I'm sure somebody will debate that. I'm sure somebody get in the comments with a ⁓ with a with a avatar that or a picture that ain't them. Or like a name that don't make no sense. They get in the comments like women, blah blah blah. Man, shut up. Like again, like I said, I'm not worried about my daughters going out.

speaker-0: User two six eighty one. Yeah.

speaker-1: And being attacked by a woman. Granted, I was watching a like this little safety thing for work, and they were talking about the numbers of of like abductions and stuff going up. And one of the things that is happening now is kind of a trend where it'll be like a kid or a woman that'll come up and come up and get them. But they're typically, they're typically also being trafficked or also being abused. And so they're using them to lure other people in. And so in those instances, it looks like a a woman or a child is is coming to get your kid or kind of kidnapping your kid or molesting your kid or whatever. But in reality, it's like some dude is like monitoring the group. Yeah. They're using that person as bait to get another person. but I'm sure, like I said, any anytime you say something in this in this climate now, people get offended and some do I'm sure some dude behind the computer is gonna be like, you know, women or this or this. They stop dressing like whores, ⁓ you know, or if they just listen to what we say. Women are too independent now and they wanna be Damn, you can't kill nobody. Yeah, you can't kill nobody because they wanna be a man.

speaker-0: Yeah. Mm-hmm. He's crazy. It was a trip. I saw a video, a little ⁓ video of this woman. She's working out outside her gym and she's using a jump rope and the gym was like, you know, you can't jump rope inside. Okay, Okay, okay. So did I say that? Did I talk about it on the podcast? Yeah. ⁓ dang, I know. Okay. Well, you know, it's that's just another where a woman has to navigate a man's feelings because

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Example, yeah.

speaker-0: You know, I had a friend that was in Philly and she, you know, a man wanted to holler at her and she was like, No, thank you. And a dude grabbed the closest thing to him, which was an ashtray and just threw it at her. And I was just like, God dang.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. I've been in them situations before. Well, not as the man, right? But I've been I've been I've been in the area where it's happened where, you know, when you young, you go out and you be like we used to go to ⁓ to Jack London Square in Oakland, people just like after clubs let out because everything everything gets done early in the Bay Area. But you can go certain places and hang out, they have sideshows or whatever. ⁓ and dudes would be hollering at girls and like if they don't respond accordingly.

speaker-0: Man, you bitch, like

speaker-1: Jesus Christ, man. It's not that serious. It ain't never been that serious. First of all, you was calling her by the color she was wearing. Like she didn't even know you was talking. Hey, red. Like it's like four of the girls with red dresses, bro. Like just chill out, man. But it instantly it goes to like somewhere negative. So yeah, it's it's really crazy ⁓ how out of touch sometimes we are with like stuff like that, right? Like cause we know.

speaker-0: It dressed.

speaker-1: We know who we're afraid of, not afraid of, but who we're on the lookout for. Right. But then at the same time, people argue like, you know, women don't have ⁓ it was the bear thing. You remember the bear thing? It was like if a woman was in the forest, ⁓ we should be more afraid of a bear or a man. And the women were like, a man. Damn. But like, yeah. Cause yeah, but like a bear is less likely to attack you than a man. Like if you look at again the statistics, statistically, bears are probably going to try to get away. A man is coming at you. You can play dead if you want to. You don't get your dead ass. Like it just, it's nothing you can do. Damn. ⁓ so yeah, it it's crazy. It's absolutely crazy. But that was something that I saw and was like, man, that's that's where we're at as a society. Women can feel that, to feel that way, right? Like to just feel unsafe, just generally unsafe in the world. And I see it a lot with with Ari and the girls. It's like she is.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: Constantly worried about like something happening to them. Like they where are they at? Where are they doing? And then some of that's just motherly, right? But then but underneath that, there's also like probably some of her own like fears and insecurities about being certain places and they're young and they're not small and they can't defend themselves the same way as an adult could. And just so worried about like, you know, I'm like, man, go drop them off at the mall. Like we used to walk around all the time. Like we used we would go and and just be at the mall for hours. Like we'd just get dropped off. We would take the bus and then we'd had to come back home. Nobody was tripping. We just walked around and left. She was like, Yeah, I did. I did all that. And while I was there, grown men was trying. I like, ⁓ shit, my bad. Like Yeah, you're right. She's like, We'd walk into the bus, walk into the bus stop. Like dudes would pull over in their cars and these are grown men. I was a I was a teenager and it was old men pulling over in their cars, trying to get us to get in the car with ⁓ Like, it's like, Yeah, I guess my male privilege. I never experienced that. Like, yeah, I just walk to the bus. Only dudes I had to worry about well, I didn't because in the Bay we don't have gangs like that, but I'm sure you in your your hood life. No, I'm just saying like we don't have to worry about that the nine nine ninety nine nine ninety-nine point nine percent of the time. Obviously if you live in a neighborhood where you can't just freely walk, then yeah, you gotta be you might get checked or you know what I mean, somebody might press you or something like that. But

speaker-0: Think about it. No big deal. mistake. Yeah. Kendrick state.

speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I never had like we had gangs but it wasn't like that. People knew who you were or who you weren't. ⁓ and I didn't wear a gang members uniform. I think that's one thing that people miss too, is like a lot of times we get really concerned about going to some of these places. I just saw I just I was watching a video pre-pod with ⁓ Black Sam was talking about that. Did you hear it? It's like places in LA, and this is completely off topic now at this point, but like places in LA are big.

speaker-0: No.

speaker-1: There's a lot of places in LA that are bad areas that don't look bad. And they got palm trees, like the streets are relatively nice. And he was like, you can go there, you know, four days in a row, but on that fifth day, you be there at the wrong day. It's like the wrong day, wrong time. Something bad might happen to you. And I realized that 'cause I used we used to go to like Ari's family, like go to their house and go visit them and all that stuff. And they all still live deeply entrenched in all these places. And be cool. Go to the store, like go to the liquor store with her cousins and then everything was cool. And then And then one day it was like I saw it, I was like, this neighborhood's gone to the door. What's going on here? Like happening. Yeah, just yeah, but like it's always that way, right? It's always that way. And that that stuff is like the only time men have to worry about it, right? The only time we really are concerned about when we go somewhere is like, ⁓ it's gonna be some bad actors there. You know what I mean? Like Denzel. No, I mean ⁓ No, it's gonna be somebody that's that's actively looking for trouble, right? But I think for women, it's every day somebody's looking for trouble all the time. It could be any cause men are everywhere, right? It could be anywhere, anytime, any place. And that's unfortunate. We gotta do better, fellas. I mean, maybe not y'all, right? Cause y'all listening to a a podcast about grown man games.

speaker-0: Mm. That's unfortunate. Nah, we can all do better. I can do better. You can do better. We can all do better. It's true. ⁓ I would say because we can do better with how we're raising our sons and how we're ⁓ involved in nephews' lives and little man from around the corner, a little cousin, you know, just injecting these certain ideas. Cause you know, we talked about it last part where it was just like, ⁓ well, all right, little man, you can't you got your little you got your little thing wet yet, huh? You got your little Yeah, I know, come on, baby. If we switch it from that to, hey man, there's any l young ladies out there that, you know, make your heart skip a beat a little bit, you know, little little cool little love, you know, yada yada. It could turn the ties. And then also possibly they are turning in a way, but not to

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: The extent that what we're used to, so it looks foreign. Yeah. You know, we've had this discussion and it's kinda a different topic also, but ⁓ about competition and about ⁓ all the kids get a trophy. Mm-hmm. Like all kids shouldn't be getting no trophy. But it's kind of like we came from that I was here in the dark. You merely visited it, you know. We're in the dark. We're gladiators. We had to get it out the mud. It's the eighties, nineties, you know, it's You're not getting a first place trophy if you don't put that work in to get that first place trophy. But then maybe getting a trophy might give you some kind of new emotional intelligence as a young child, understanding that, hey, I put in this much work, but it felt good for me to get recognized. I don't know. Maybe not. You know what I'm saying? But things that may feel foreign to us could be the antidote for this next generation. So it does feel foreign at times to tell a young man like, ⁓ yeah, you know, she's a lovely girl and you know, maybe make sure you protect your heart and this and that. Like protect your heart. ⁓ man, you need to protect your wallet, you need to protect your family, you need to protect

speaker-1: Which are all still valid conversations to have, but protecting your heart, protecting your wallet, those can kind of start with the way you treat a woman or the type of woman that you go after. Right. But because we have socialized young men or boys to be promiscuous for the most part, right? Like go out there and get as many women as you can, so the royal oats and all that, you know what I'm saying? Like all that kind of stuff. You get caught up with the wrong people. You get caught up with a skeezer too. Like it just and that's a part of the game. And your uncle be telling you all these player things to do and like it's yeah, it's not cool. It sound cool, but you know, it's why he owned his third wife. He got, you know, child support he paying in in every situation.

speaker-0: Yeah. Dialysis, don't nobody come and help?

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. All he got left is that Cadillac that he paid off. You know what I'm saying? Like but he sound cool.

speaker-0: Okay, El Dorado Rhine. Cool. Real cool. He's a player. Man, I wanna be like you, Uncle Jake. Nah, no, you don't. As soon as he hit that 60, 70 years old, things start

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: But yeah, man, I feel like, you know, we can we can fix it, man. We can fix it. It's just it's gonna take time. It wasn't a overnight thing that happened and it's not gonna be a overnight thing to to fix. I think it's it's a big it's a it's it's a big It is a challenge. Yeah. It's a big challenge. I'll put it that way, to keep it positive. It's a big challenge. But I I know we're equipped to do it, you know, 'cause even as, you know, you were talking about, you know, the fears of letting your daughters go out, letting our kids go out, the things that can happen. Crime is down. Crime is lower now than it was when we were their age. So things are getting better, even though we have social media that doesn't show us that things are getting better. Right. You know, you hop on social media, you would think that every black man hates every black woman and, you know, that kind of thing, depending on your algorithm. But it's not like that. You know what I'm saying? I forgot the statistic, like. Eighty percent of black men that make, you know, a hundred thousand or more are married to black women and you know, these kind of things, but you know.

speaker-1: Think that's a ⁓ a a cautionary tale in social media is like you it's not it's real, but it isn't. You know what I mean? Like it it's one, you got the algorithm, two, you have unrealistic posts nine times out of ten. Like nobody's posting like the the negatives, everybody's posting all the good stuff. Except except for like media outlets or or like shock like accounts where it's they're they're showing only negative stuff. Right. And so if you get caught up in the one of those, like you get a bunch of that stuff like coming on your timeline, but that's not the reality. That's not what's really happening in the world. I mean, that stuff is

speaker-0: My wife.

speaker-1: That ⁓ that stuff is happening, right? But it's not happening at as high a clip as you think it is. But but if you let social media tell you like that's that's the only thing that's happening. Yeah, right. Yeah. ⁓ and so you have to be careful about your consumerism, right? How much you're consuming, right? Cause your social media diet can be just as deadly as the, you know, your food diet.

speaker-0: Yeah, or we yeah. On that note, brother, let's get up out of here.

speaker-1: Let's do Grown man game. Don't eat too much social media. It's bad for your heart. Bad for your brain. Get some get some carrots, get some fish, get some fruits and veggies. Go touch the ground. Go get some vitamin D outside. ⁓ you know, detox, put the phone down for a little bit, you know, talk to the people in front of you. ⁓ little man man, knucknuck, ⁓ you know, little boys in the neighborhood, talk to them about something positive.

speaker-0: Bad for you, man.

speaker-1: ⁓ if you don't have sons, find a young man and and pass the knowledge to him. Like old dudes used to do that all the time. You remember we used to run into an old man, he'd just say something to you like prolific for no reason? Yeah. Like, what up, youngster? And he'd just say something like some little cool thing, like, ⁓ man, I just got blessed for no reason at all. I just passed it in the store. Hey, hey, hey. Now remember Yeah. Yeah. And he just say something. ⁓ we don't have enough of that. We don't have enough like one-on-one interactions anymore because people are like this, right? And so we don't know when somebody is walking past us. ⁓ so just try it as much as you can. I know it's hard to separate yourself, pull yourself out of it. ⁓ you know, what is it? Have fun, don't die. Don't die. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's one of those, you know, people are stuck on their phones and and the world goes to hell because of it. ⁓ so

speaker-0: Look. Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: You know, I know you guys are probably watching this clip on your phone or listening to it through your phone. I apologize for pulling you in, but now once you turn this off, go ahead and separate and go find some people.

speaker-0: Go have a real conversation with somebody about the podcast. You know what I'm saying?

speaker-1: There you go. Tell them where you can find it, right? Tell them you you you was watching ⁓ you know, ⁓ Instagram and you saw Grown Man Game Pod and they had this clip. Or maybe you was on YouTube and you was looking at the Grown Man Game channel and you saw it, and so you sent it to a friend and then you pulled them into social media. But the good thing about it though is when you watch stuff like this, you listen to stuff like this, it starts to shift the algorithm into a more positive direction. So you get more of the stuff you need and none of what you want. Or less of what you want, I guess. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, it's some it's something like that. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, I don't remember no phone numbers or nothing. All right, one one. Yeah, that's it. That's the one I need.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Something like that. Come on man. Too much social media. Alright y'all, till next time. Bro, man gang, mag gang, mag gang, mag gang, man gang. What up bro? ⁓

speaker-1: See ya.

speaker-0: Might.