Catch the Fade or Catch a Ride? The Art of Emotional Regulation

speaker-0: Welcome back to the Grown Man Game Podcast. I am one half of your host, Rod, and this is my man.

speaker-1: Big Mike, sad

speaker-0: And listen, when we're getting together to share some grown man games, some things that have come up since the last time we saw y'all, some things that I've been thinking about, that big Mike's been thinking about, that y'all been thinking about. And we're gonna get into it. But before we do, before we do, how you doing today, brother? Yeah, great, huh?

speaker-1: I'm doing great, man. You know what I'm saying? I'm doing great. Great is good ash.

speaker-0: Great if all right, explain that. You got you gonna have to lean yeah, you have to lean into it because you see you started at the top and slowly went down. He was on a roller coaster right there.

speaker-1: everything's moving in the right direction, man. I can't complain. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Everything's moving in the right direction. But they say as long as I got motion slow motion is better than no motion.

speaker-0: That's what they say. That's that's one of them isms. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah, so you know, everybody healthy, you know what I'm saying? So that's number one. Nobody hates each other in the house. See I can just Breathe on my own. You know what I'm saying? It's the little things,

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: that's the big things, man. What about you, brother?

speaker-0: Doing well, man. everything is is like you say, everything is going in the right direction. The family is doing well, work is going well. anniversary, nineteenth anniversary, wedding anniversary is coming up this weekend. Or actually it's next week, but we're going out of town this weekend. and then we get back, my youngest will be turning twelve. so excited about all of that. And everything is going well, man. life is busy, but you know, busy is better than broke. So I can't complain. I can't complain. you know what's funny is when I was in in Detroit, I was working this marketing company doing direct direct direct sales and or sorry, direct business to business direct sales. I don't know what happened to my mouth just now. and I was I was going to this gas station because we had a a promotion that we were doing with them. So I had to go meet with the owner, pull into the To the gas station and it's a homeless guy outside. And he was like, What up, man? Like trying, he could he trying to talk me up so we can ask him for something. Man, yeah, I've seen him before or whatever. So, what up, man? How you doing? And I'm like, no, he said, What's going on? He said, What's going on, man? And I said, nothing. Chilling. And he said, he said, chilling? Only broke people chilling. Everything is going on. I'm like, man, you're right. You're right. Yeah, broke people chilling. Yeah, so you yeah. So no, I'm not chilling. Everything is going well, things' moving, it's too much going on in the world to be chillin'. So I'm I'm excited and happy for all of the busy that's going on.

speaker-1: That's good brother. That's good, brother.

speaker-0: Yeah. Congratulations. Do we want to get to that right away? Or what we what like what what we gotta get we gotta figure out this structure, man. We gotta just cause sometimes we freestyle and sometimes we have a plan. Yeah, yeah, sometimes.

speaker-1: Yeah, all right, so you know I'm saying, I saw your clip that you shared on the internet with Roy what's the name? Roy Woods Jr. Roy Woods? Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. And so let's just go ahead and tell the people where they can find us before you know we get to the

speaker-0: Yeah, at the beginning, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's important. That's important. so you can find us on Instagram at Grown Man Game Pod. you can find big Mike at maybe nice mike, because he he may be nice, he may not be. you can find me at for Fit Fatherhood, the number for Fit Fatherhood. If you want to reach out directly to the podcast and you don't want to send a DM or you don't want to comment on the ground, two four fit, you can send us an email. At the grown man game podcast at gmail dot com. So now you guys got that early in the episode. So make sure you like, subscribe, share, follow. YouTube. I forgot what is on what it is on YouTube, but if you've seen this video, probably seen it on YouTube. So you already know. Just make sure you subscribe. It's funny, I was looking at some stats the other day, not for our podcast, but I was looking at some other podcasts trying to kind of figure out what direction to kind of go in and and like how to promote some different stuff. Okay. And views and subscriptions don't match at all. Right. Like people, even some of the bigger podcasts will have like, let's say a million views on the episode, which is a lot. But let's say we get a million views on the episode, and you look at subscribers, it's like 30,000. You know what I mean? Like, which is a ton of subscribers. Like if we get 30,000, yeah. You're right, exactly. Right, birdman. Right. But like a lot of people watch episodes. And I even do it, right? Like I have podcasts that I watch while I'm working out because I got the TV in the garage that there's just be kind of playing in the background, but I'm not subscribed to. But I'll watch that podcast like every week. Or every time they got a new episode, I'm I'm you know, I'm I'm clocked in, I'm watching it just because it pops up on my algorithm or my timeline. But I am not subscribed. So listen, man, I know you guys are watching, you like it, you enjoy it, you've seen it once, you've seen it twice, you've seen it a million times. But if you don't subscribe, it doesn't make a difference. For us, right? Like we love for you to watch it. Please do continue. Thank you. But do me a solid. If you find something that you like, you heard something that you like, you saw something that you like, hit subscribe. let us know that we got a new follower, new li and a new subscriber, and and then we can kind of, you know, make quality content for you. Otherwise, we just make stuff for Rod and Mike. You know what I'm saying? I'm making stuff that I like, which is, you know, working out. Hanging out with kids. My kids. Gotta be clear. Gotta be clear, right? In this day and age, it's too early to get canceled. I like hanging out with my

speaker-1: Watch out, man. My children. What's out, Michael J.

speaker-0: No yeah, right. No Epstein here. Be clear.

speaker-1: I just like I just love the children. They're beautiful.

speaker-0: Mike was out here trying to save the kids, man.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: He was trying to save the kids. He knew what was going on. He was like, hey, listen, you wanna go and hang out and play and come to Mike's house, right? Come to Neverland. Don't go over there. Don't go. I got next topic. I got the monkeys. I got, you know, I got a zoo. You know, come play at the zoo.

speaker-1: You know, I had a homie that went to Michael Jackson's house. Okay. He was in a group home.

speaker-0: Okay.

speaker-1: So Mike brought the group home and he was like, man, he was awesome, man.

speaker-0: I bet.

speaker-1: He had like the little movie theater, had the spots for handicapped kids, man. It was dope. It was amazing. I was like, all right. He ain't touchy or nothing. Man, nah, man. Mike is Mike is incredible, man. Don't you ever say that. All right, man. Just check him, man.

speaker-0: I bet. I bet. You know what's I I really am like, you know, cause me, me and Reese, Reese is my youngest. We'll watch like House Hunters and stuff like that, cause we always like intrigued by like what these houses look like. And even to this day, me and the girls, we'll just go to like some new development as model homes. We'll just go and we'll spend some time just walking through looking at what's going on there. I'm curious as to like, cause you talk you just hear about like even you said a movie theater with like handicapped seating, like. I want to go to Neverland. I just want to walk around. Like, can we get the full tour? Like, let's get the secret passageways. Like, I want to see it all. Like, I don't want to go there necessarily. Now, I guess, right? It don't matter now. But as a kid and as a younger person hearing about it, I was like, man, I wonder what it's like. You know what I mean? Like to just like go somewhere. We was, you know, we wasn't in the biggest house. So like to to hear about a house with like a Ferris wheel in the back of your man. Man, let me go. Mike, you know, can can I go? I didn't know, you know, the the accusations and stuff was going on in I didn't I didn't know about those. I just wanted to see bubbles and you know I mean, go watch a movie. Whatever, man. Whatever. Mike, not my time. Yeah,

speaker-1: R and P R P

speaker-0: yeah, yeah, yeah.

speaker-1: hopefully, you know. Hopefully you're not in hell right now, brother.

speaker-0: Right. We don't know yet.

speaker-1: I don't think so, but we don't know.

speaker-0: You know what? That's the this is a complete tangent. But that's the interesting thing about like faith and religion is like you don't really know how you're gonna end up. You know what I mean? Like, cause what if you're wrong, right? Like even if you're like hardcore devout to your religion, you follow all the rules, what if your religion is the wrong one? You know what I'm saying? Like you follow all the rules and tenets of your religion, you follow the principles, you do all the things, and like you get to the end of your life, and it's like, Sorry man, yeah, we wasn't X, Y, and Z Yeah. It bro

speaker-1: You you may you messed up. Nah man, I'd be just be in hell and Jesus right next to you like man welcome dog. You were supposed to save me.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: I was just scamming. Yeah.

speaker-0: Right. man. Yeah, I was just trying to get y'all down here with me, homie. Yeah, you should have you should have been listening to

speaker-1: Hey man, I tried to tell you.

speaker-0: I love I sent plenty of people to you to tell you about and you still was doing your thing. Okay, well

speaker-1: That we were just out here living, bro.

speaker-0: you got what you got.

speaker-1: On that cross, man, I was stilling, man.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: Somebody, we gonna get letters for this one.

speaker-0: yeah, it's definitely gonna be somebody in the comments that that can't take a job.

speaker-1: All right, man. Back

speaker-0: All right, back to it.

speaker-1: to it. Yeah. So you said we need some structure.

speaker-0: we'll get it. Yeah. We'll get it.

speaker-1: I mean, no structure is structure. And

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: chaos is order, you know.

speaker-0: No, but yeah.

speaker-1: And the human body is chaos or disorder, you know.

speaker-0: Okay. Yeah. Maybe

speaker-1: You cut, you bleed. What what's going on here? I need the blood and then You know what I'm saying? You burp. It's chaos, man.

speaker-0: You're talking about right now. Order. Anyway. Absolute kid. Let's get back to order then. congratulations. Let's get to it. I tried the I tried the segue and

speaker-1: You did, man. You wouldn't let us I'm sorry, man.

speaker-0: What you got, man? What what what's what's going on in Big Mike's life that we need to make sure we celebrate him for? Because you know, we have these accomplishments and we on these journeys and we got these goals and we we often overlook the milestones and the and the stuff that we you know, the stuff we chip away at as we get to you know, quote unquote promised land.

speaker-1: You know what? We just kinda talked about this, man. So my baby was dealing with some issues. Well, we grown. We grown right here, right? So my baby, she's 13. Her cycles coming in the week. And it's the the the the pre was it PMS, maybe? Maybe, maybe not.

speaker-0: Yeah, I'm leaving you alone on this one.

speaker-1: Look, she my daughter, she can't fight me. Now my wife, you know, I ain't gonna say nothing about her, you know. But y'all know. No, but you know, she so her emotions were, you know what I'm saying, heightened.

speaker-0: Go ahead and put it.

speaker-1: You know, as dads, a lot of times we are like, this what needs to be done, this needs to be knocked out, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, logical, logical, logical. So, you know, she had about 30 minutes until we had to leave for school and she was, you know, dealing with her emotions. And in my dad mind, in my man mind, in my alpha brain, you know what I'm saying. Brothers, you know what I'm saying. no, I was just like, Okay, that's cool. I feel that you're dealing with something, but you gotta get dressed and we gotta move and we gotta go. We don't got time to be having all these emotions. You got business to handle, you're doing good in school, we need to keep it going. Let's go. I just put gasoline all over the little fire, man. Instead of just taking the match and just squirting it with a little squirt gun, I just poured a gallon of gasoline on that match and it just whoosh, everything lit up. But I was able to get my mind right. And I said, you know what? Just go in your room. I know your your feelings are very heightened right now and you know your nervous system is probably just going crazy. Just go chill in your room. You don't gotta go to school. We'll bring you to school during the third period. You you can just relax until it's time for you to be in the third period. Cause at this moment, we have been going back so much that we were about twenty minutes late already. Mm-hmm. So this had been going on for about an hour. So I'm like, just go get your nervous system right, relax. And just chill. And, you know, after that, Tiff took her to school. She didn't want to ride with me. She was like, I want you dead, daddy. I get it. I get it. You love me, but you know, you mad. Yeah. So, you know, at the end of the day, I was able to, you know, talk to her and everything was cool. You know what I'm saying? But I had to go into my my bag that was not a tool that I had growing up. Cause growing up it would have been like, if you don't get joked, it's out to bed right now. Move.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: We don't got time for your little dumb emotions, like whatever it is, right? Be

speaker-0: Right, yeah, yeah.

speaker-1: gone. It don't matter. You just be at at school and they don't understand why you're mad at the teacher and why you done got into a fight or whatever.

speaker-0: Right, right.

speaker-1: So I had to develop a new little bag of of not tricks, but I had to develop a new level of understanding for my daughter. And Once again she grew me and I felt good stepping up, man. So yeah, I got a stool

speaker-0: Congratulations, man.

speaker-1: in the in the in the closet now. You know.

speaker-0: Emotional regulation, right? Like you you had to regulate your emotion. And and maybe she saw it, maybe she didn't, but like you were an example of emotional regulation, right? Because the the default is is what we grew up with, right? From I would say both my parents or all of my parents, my mom, my my stepmom, my dad, my stepdad, all of them would have like, nigga, if you don't get your mother suck. You know what I mean? Like it wouldn't have been no there's and I feel like Even with my sisters, they probably got the same thing. I mean, I've heard it, right? I don't know if they ever got any like grace. but I definitely heard the same responses that I got told to them, right? So having that as the example for us would automatically lead us to kind of like, okay, that's just what we do, right?

speaker-1: This was this was normal.

speaker-0: But yeah, but you you went into your bag, man, and you were like, hey, listen, what what would Mike do? What would what would healed Mike do? You know what I mean? Like and and and tried something different. And and you know, hopefully you got the result that you were looking for. worst case scenario, she saw that her dad was willing to give her space to find her own footing. You know what I mean? Like, he's he that's a safe space or he's gonna protect me when things don't feel Great, right? Like yeah. Not only is he gonna physically protect him, but he's emotionally protective too. Like that's that's a really dope feeling to have. I'm speaking for her right now, but like as a kid or as even as a person, to have someone else that protects your emotions and not just your your physical or not just whatever's in the best interest of them, I think is a really, really secure feeling. So yeah, congratulations on that, man.

speaker-1: Brother, thank you. Thank you.

speaker-0: All right, so I'm gonna stay out of that one. because I had a similar situation, but I'm I'm gonna leave mine off because you brought yours up. Man, what what has happened since the last time we talked? I feel like it it's been a lot of the same stuff. all right. this is I'm just kind of putting something out there. So I had a therapy session yesterday. I'm at a point now where we only meet like monthly. when we first started, it was like every week. And then then we've been gradually kind of killing that off. And it's like two weeks, now it's every month or once a month. And I think our next one, just because of how schedule lines up, is almost two months. And it felt like we was just hanging out. Like, you know what I mean? Like we just got in the session and I'm just talking about like what's going on. It was it felt like a podcast, you know what I mean? Like we was just sitting there chatting, like this is going on, that's going on. It wasn't like anything came up. He was asking me those interviewing type questions, you know what I mean, where like he's digging for something deeper, and I was like, Yeah, man, I really don't have nothing. Like life is life is good right now. Like obviously there's things, right? Like there's obstacles, but they feel like opportunities. Like they don't feel like something that I gotta overcome. And like I just felt really good having that conversation to the point where, like, as we're talking, we get like maybe 30 minutes into it. And I'm thinking, yeah, we could probably end right here. And then we but I just kept going, right? Cause we got the time, it's already paid for. I'm gonna get all of it. and then at the end we'd start to set the schedule and he was like, you know, we've you know, we've been going about a month, but you know, he has some stuff, I had some stuff, so we couldn't line it up. And he was like, What do you feel about two months? I was like, I feel great. Yeah, I feel great. Like I feel like, you know, if something happens, obviously I'm gonna reach out, right? And like, shit went off the rails. Like I need to talk. But but I felt like I'm in such a good spot right now mentally that I almost was like, yeah, we don't even need to do this no more. Like I'm good. But I know, like I know that it's not like a I need to do it thing. When you get to the point where you need to do it, you're probably too far. It's like being thirsty, right? Like once you start to feel thirsty, you were already dehydrated. Right. And so I'm trying to make sure Yeah. Right.

speaker-1: Thirsty dudes out there. Understand that.

speaker-0: So I'm trying to make sure I don't get to that point. So I just want to kind of keep it routine. Almost like a like a oil change. Like the the car don't have to be broke down. I'm just getting the oil change 'cause it's been a certain amount of miles. And and I feel like that's where I'm at. It's like this is just regularly scheduled service. Like it's not an actual issue anymore. And I feel really good about that. also, I seen I've been on threads a lot lately. I really like where Threads is at right now. Like I'm as much as I'm active on Instagram, I'm really I'm really liking that the whole threads thing. I like the the black threads especially. And I feel like Whatever algorithm I'm locked into on threads knows me really well really well.

speaker-1: to say that I need to fix my algorithm, man. My algorithm on threads is trash.

speaker-0: Really? Okay. All right. So you got you gotta get in there and start. I see you on there every once in a while yapping. but it was somebody had asked when did you know you needed to go to therapy? And I feel like I'm s I'm in such a heel spot that I was able to answer it. Like, first of all, I don't know who's gonna see it, right? Like typically when you're when these these kind of like uncomfortable spaces where you're trying to figure life out, you really don't wanna share with anybody.

speaker-1: Needs to know. Yeah.

speaker-0: Definitely don't want to share with the entire internet. Right. But but I was like, yeah, I I just immediately like I saw it. I didn't have no thoughts about it. I went right into it. Like, yo, I was I was out for a walk. The dogs was barking, the birds was chirping, the sun was shining, and I was crying uncontrollably and I couldn't explain it in like kind of detail what was going on. And I didn't feel no type of way about it. Like I was just it was like, this is just telling the story. This is just what happened. You know what I mean? I'm like, man, I'm I'm in a really Really good spot right now. Hey, amen. Like you know what I mean? Yeah, man.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: I don't know what that means. I feel like that was

speaker-1: the alpha and the beta male, you need a beta male spot.

speaker-0: Wow. So we're gonna take we're gonna take my congratulations and then throw it in the trash by saying I'm

speaker-1: Listen, man, this is my job. I'm your boy, all right?

speaker-0: See, this is we might get into this whole male friendship thing here in this episode. Let's see what happens. But I I mean I know we got another topic that we want to talk about, but there's there's there's some yeah, whatever. Anyway, I'll take the I'll take the congratulations.

speaker-1: Congratulations, brother. That's amazing. You're gonna get these jokes no matter what. But that's

speaker-0: That's right. That's right. Amazing. Yeah, thank you. Congratulations, man. Yeah, yeah.

speaker-1: I'm still trying to get my therapy situation sorted out. so I've been checking out. Y'all need to go ahead and pay us. I'm gonna give y'all a shout out. Grow therapy. I've been checking out growth therapy. And Tip sent me like a bunch of different male therapists. And I don't right now I'm just like, all y'all look like little squares, man. Look like little busters, man. And I don't know if that's just me trying to fight the go to

speaker-0: Yeah it is

speaker-1: therapy.

speaker-0: it is it is

speaker-1: You know? But I don't know, I might I might need to find me like like a super thick therapist. I feel like she can probably connect to me.

speaker-0: What is happening right now? Yo, this took a completely different turn. You want a cold brown? You want a thick therapist, huh? So you want a super thick therapist. You better be careful, man. That that's borderline cheating. We talked about the disrespect and cheating. Be careful.

speaker-1: yeah. That's a nice little segue. no, I'm joking. but I am kind of going back and forth between a male therapist or a female therapist. I know for sure that I feel like a male therapist should be able to connect with me in a certain way, understanding me. But I think also a female therapist could do can connect in the same way or give me just a different perspective of what I'm used to. So I'm trying to figure out.

speaker-0: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What

speaker-1: Yeah, give me like two weeks, three weeks.

speaker-0: I put you in touch with my guy if you want.

speaker-1: Okay. He's

speaker-0: What? Yeah, black. Right. Around our age, live in I. E. actually. So he's relatively local. So you could talk that I. talk if you want to.

speaker-1: You know what it is.

speaker-0: If you want to talk about the evil empire then, you know, a little bit of a little bit of a a little bit of a blur too, right? Probably on that, you know, talk and

speaker-1: Okay, he's not disrespectful when it comes to Star Wars like you.

speaker-0: no, no, no, no. Okay. He's all he's locked in. Now he's yeah, I mean, you know, he's a good dude. He's a real good dude. Like I I can see and this is weird, right? But outside of of therapy, I could see like if I ran into him somewhere, I don't know if we would be like friends, but it'd be like, that's a cool dude, man. I'm like, Yeah, you know. Like I I don't have a whole lot of friends, so I I don't really see anybody without be we could be friends, you know what I'm saying? It's not a negative. I just don't let people get that close to me.

speaker-1: Therapy hasn't helped it, huh? Nah. You're not done, man. You need to get back twice a week.

speaker-0: Listen, yeah, I need arm's length. Stay.

speaker-1: No new friends.

speaker-0: Yeah, y'all stay on the bu you come inside the bubble.

speaker-1: What if we was at arm's length? We wouldn't be sitting on this couch today, brother.

speaker-0: Yeah, let me see.

speaker-1: Gotcha, yeah, okay. All right.

speaker-0: Yeah, nah. But yeah, that is, you know, to some degree is something that I'm working on, more so with like the people that are close to me, right? You, my wife, my family, whatever, being more open, more vulnerable, right? Outside of that, I don't think I can give everybody access. Like, you know what I mean? I I do on social media, like but obviously, right, because I'm talking to people about common struggles, right? Mm-hmm. And so yeah, I do have to open up and be a little bit more honest and vulnerable in that right. But I still it's funny, I d I can do it because I don't know y'all. Like if y'all you whatever you feel about me is whatever. I don't really care. I really don't care what anybody feels about me, but for sure somebody on the other side of a screen is, you know, whatever. Whatever you think about me is whatever you think about me. Your your opinion of me ain't my business anyway. So I I'm able to do it a little bit better in that regard. But Anyway, got the congratulations out of the way. You got anything before we get into the into the meat and potatoes?

speaker-1: Meet and potatoes. we started to talk a little bit about cheating and disrespect. We

speaker-0: Yes.

speaker-1: can dip our toe in that just a tad bit, you know what I'm saying? so I was watching on Instagram, I showed it to you. it was like a a cool little comedy skit with the a husband and wife, and you know, they're asking s questions to each other based on these scenarios, like, is this cheating or would this just be disrespectful? So for an example you see a woman at the grocery store and she approaches you and says, Hey, you know, you a good looking brother. I really want I really wanted to get your number, you know. Let's let's you know get a little contact. And you say, Well, I am married, but thank you. I'm so flattered. But here's my IG. Is that cheating or disrespect?

speaker-0: That's on the that's that's a cheating's doorstep. Like, yeah, just take the compliment. Like, yo, thank you. Appreciate that. I wouldn't even go past, I wouldn't like you don't need to know I'm like, there's not really much comp for me personally, right? Thank you. I really appreciate that. Mm-hmm. Let me go ahead and check out. I'm out of here. Like, I don't, I don't, there's no for me, there's no more interaction that needs to be to be had. I don't think Anything was wrong with that necessarily until you got to the point where it was like, here's

speaker-1: There's my eye.

speaker-0: my right? Cause now you're inviting further contact. So that's where it like it goes. It's disrespectful and it's not cheating, but it's definitely disrespectful. Because let's say the tables were turned, she was on the other foot, right? More women are gonna get more compliments than men in general, right? So for every dude that came up and told you, told your wife that she was beautiful, She gave him her she Yeah, she have so if you have a lot more followers you have a lot more problems.

speaker-1: Listen, we're trying to make the podcast bigger. You know what I'm saying? Roman Game Podcast.

speaker-0: Right, yeah. I got a podcast. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Nah, nah no. Don't do that. That's not a good idea, fellas.

speaker-1: Not at all.

speaker-0: I think I think the lens I look at all of that stuff with is like, okay, if the shoe was on the other foot, how would I feel? Yeah. Right? Like I gotta get outside myself and see what I what my thoughts on it would be if if it was happening for her. Sometimes though, like it's just like some stuff is just harmless. You know what I mean? Like it seems like it's more, but it's not. I think one of the things like liking somebody's post.

speaker-1: Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: Yeah, whatever. Like I I don't I I haven't found myself liking anybody's post in particular, but like I don't know if I would find that offensive. It depends on what the content is, I guess. Like if it was something with a shirt off and

speaker-1: But

speaker-0: Yeah, I mean like some kind of like a thirst trappy kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, there was nothing to like there other than his nipples. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like it was really nothing in the picture or the video that was likable. I mean, I, you know, I like the pool that was in the nah, nah, nah, nah. You don't like pools that much.

speaker-1: What need.

speaker-0: Yeah, right? Like, so I I guess it's it's it's all context, but

speaker-1: So would you see that as cheating or would you see that as just dis

speaker-0: That's just disrespectful. Disrespectful. I think I think contact, no, because there's emotional cheating too, but that that builds on a on a more of a relationship. That takes time, right? Like that takes multiple interactions, I think. Right. and so yeah, I wouldn't call that cheating. It's just disrespectful. I just not something you should do when you're in a committed relationship with somebody.

speaker-1: I got I I got a curveball for you though.

speaker-0: Let's do

speaker-1: Let's say I feel like we talked about this too i in a group setting. I need you to put your phone on silent when we're doing this. Nothing's

speaker-0: My wife, alright.

speaker-1: nothing's more important than than the program, all right.

speaker-0: Yeah, you're right. You're right. No man bigger than the program. That's that West Coast LA gang talk. Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: Y'all know what it is.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm 46, y'all. I'm sorry. so speaking of Ari, let's say Ari, yeah, I think we did talk about this. Having a work wife or a work husband, uh-huh, right? Let's say y'all go to y'all take your lunch breaks together and Christmas time, Christmas party, you you're trying to find the right gift to give to your work spouse. Is having a work spouse I guess I gotta give you three three options. Is it cheating? Is it disrespect or is it not a big deal?

speaker-0: so being in this in this this example before, so and my wife's not this job, two jobs ago. she was the supervisor of a program, she had a co-supervisor who was a man. and so they obviously work very closely together. Like they run the pro they literally built and ran the program together. So they spend a lot of time together at work, in meetings and they would go to lunch or whatever, right? Like it just it is what it is. you know, we went to his house for holiday. Like it was like a thing, right? Like they're they're obviously work together, but you know, obviously built a friendship. Yeah. one, I think it depends a lot on the security in your relationship and the person that you're you're with. And that's between you and them, right? Like I I can't I can't speak to that. For me, it was no big deal. Like you you work with you're supposed to be able to do your job at a high level. Like that requires you to have some interaction with this person. As long as you aren't being disrespectful, right? Like you you just work, you do work stuff, you go home. Like they st actually they still will go to lunch. Like it's been probably six years since she worked there, but they still are in contact from time to time. she she's a stroke her ego real quick. She's a phenomenal person, right? She hasn't she hasn't worked at that job, like I said, in six years or more. They still invite her to like the the work picnics. They invite her to the holiday parties. They still like she's at the top of the list. She just went to to the spa with like the ladies from the job like not too long ago. Like she's still a part of of their community. So like when you build something like that with with somebody and a group of people, like, it's just kind of happens, right? Like, however, on the same token, I I've seen a lot of times where that can those lines get blurred and they get crossed. You know what I mean? And you start, you start your feelings go past friendship or they go past work. But again, I think that depends on the person or the relationship that you're in. if the relationship that you're in isn't maybe meeting all the emotional requirements that it should, that leaves space, that leaves a door open for somebody else to fill it. And they might even be trying to fill it. Intentionally. Like it may just be innocent at first, but then like they make her laugh and you always got problems you're complaining about work. Or you know what I'm saying? Like it it just it it it c it depends. I like I said, I don't have no problem with it unless, you know, there's some lines or that are being blurred, I guess, and then maybe I would have a problem with it. But I can only speak for my situation.

speaker-1: Yeah. That's all you gotta speak for, you know what I'm saying? Just your situation. Yeah. sucker.

speaker-0: Yeah. I will say I will say that I I obviously work with women and have got in in schools, obviously and and working in the gym because we train a lot of female athletes. I'd like to hire female coaches because I want the athletes to be able to see in an older version of themselves, enjoying the sport, enjoying training, because I feel like that kind of helps get more out of them. and so I've always leaned towards hiring female coaches. And I think there is like a weird, a weird affinity towards power, so to speak. Where like I felt like some of the younger interns or like the younger, newer coaches wanted to hang out or wanted to like be around unnecessarily sometimes. You know what I mean? Like, hey, what are you guys doing this weekend? I'm going to hang with my family. What you talking about? Like, I'm not. We don't have nothing to talk about. Well, we do, we could talk about training, but like. We can talk about training here. Like we're Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and the other interns can go get drinks on Friday. I don't I'm not drinking with y'all.

speaker-1: I'm going to Applebee's with y'all.

speaker-0: But I think there is like some times where people will accept that and allow that and create that environment. And then before you know it, it gets out of your control because you didn't you didn't you gotta close the door. Like, yeah, we we don't have that type of relationship.

speaker-1: I think that's what I was I think in my mind when you were talking about it, I was thinking like, yeah, you have to have boundaries.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: You have those boundaries set, then it's not a big deal. Right. But if you don't have those boundaries, or if those boundaries get crossed, okay, now we got a a situation. and yeah, I've never had a situation where there were boundaries that were crossed or even really I guess I kind of set boundaries, but just not. I never had like a work wife. Mm-hmm. You know, I used to eat lunch with my my sister, my play sister. And yeah, me just saying it like, your play sister. Yeah, my actual real play sister. What's up, Keisha?

speaker-0: Full grown adult.

speaker-1: We had the same last name, man. She's my sister. before COVID, you know what I'm saying? Once COVID hit, everybody was like, I'm in my own section, bruh. I don't know about you. But yeah, never any issues. She's been here, been to our other spot, been to her place. I introduced her to her her late husband, rest in peace, Steve. no, I didn't introduce her. I told her, give him a chance. That's what it was. Yeah. But never any issue, man. It was it was always just a a a boundary. Yeah. Always a boundary. So but there was, you know, a moment in time when there was like different female friends at work that I would I guess maybe Tiff was feeling like I was talking a little too much about him. You know what I'm saying? But we were, you know, a lot younger. But she was like, what's up? What's up what's what's up with that? I was like, Yeah, she asked me to pray for her. Are we praying for people now?

speaker-0: Now you covering people in the blood. All right.

speaker-1: yeah. But at the same time, I remember that same girl was like, you know, my car's jacked up. I've been dealing with this. We live in the same neighborhood. Can you take me home? And the boundary kicked in, like, no, I can't take you home. We can't be car buddies. Not because I was afraid of I can't control myself or whatever, but I'm like, I can't. I can't cross that the boundary is this is the boundary right here. Right. We cool, we good. I'm not gonna be taking you home every night after we get out of work. Cause we would get out of work at like twelve p twelve AM, right? So I'm not gonna be

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: taking you home every night and then when my wife gets in the car on a weekend it smells like another woman's perfume in the car or something. Like I I've given a female friend a ride home once. You know, triple A, this is come on, I got you. Let's go. Mm hmm. But every time, no. And she

speaker-0: Yeah, no.

speaker-1: respected it. Yeah.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: She respected it. So

speaker-0: You gotta protect your own piece too, right? Like why you as much as you wanna be a good guy and it's an innocent relationship at the same time, like you don't wanna you don't want your partner to feel uncomfortable. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you don't want them to have thoughts or doubts. Even if you're doing everything right. Like you just it's just you don't want them to be uncomfortable. Just like you wouldn't want to be uncomfortable. Right. You don't want the the the asking or the the them questioning themselves in a in a relationship that's supposed to feel comfortable.

speaker-1: Would he ever Yeah man. So let's get to the main thing. Make the main thing the main thing. All right.

speaker-0: So one of our primary duties, right? Like we well, if I asked, you know, we asked a hundred men we Steve Harvey,

speaker-1: Hey Shane.

speaker-0: right? Ask a hundred men, what is the primary responsibility of a man in a relationship or of a father or husband or whatever, right? The number one answer is probably gonna be to protect. Protect. Provide, protect, right? Like one A, one B, depending on what area you're asking in, right? I think in a more hostile area, you probably get more protection. But whatever, right? So protect is probably one of them. So there's a video, and the guy's outside pumping gas. His lady comes up to him, and I guess inside the store, she went inside the store, some dudes was in there, they got a little wild, they touched her, right? Grabbed her butt or something like that. I don't, you know, something like that, right? Inappropriate contact. Yeah. Unnecessary, right? Cause they don't know her. So she comes out, says, you know, let's know what happened. And he's like, get in the car, right? Like, I think she comes out and expects for him to do something. He looks over, right? She says it, he looks over. It's three guys standing by the car. So he does a quick analysis, right? Like we're very logical. Right. It's three of them. They see me, they see her. So they already know that I'm with her. They see her heightened attention. She's talking loud to me. She probably probably can actually hear what she's saying as loud as she was talking. So now they know. That I'm on I'm on alert, right? So obviously that's dude's posture, right? So he looks over at them, the dude says, What? Right? So now we know it's on go time. Yeah. Right. But he's he's obviously surveyed the situation. It's him and it's three of them. He don't know what they got. He don't know what's going on. even if he had something, this is not a situation that he wants to be in. So he tells her to get in the car. she doesn't like that response. She obviously is like, you're gonna just let them touch me, you're gonna let he touch me, you're gonna let him do it. And he was like, I'm trying to get you home safe. I'm trying to get us home safe.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: And again, she doesn't like that response. And so then the question is, what do you do in that situation? And I do what he did. Like so I know there's there's and this is tough, right? Like a younger version. A younger, less mature, less, less to lose version of me probably goes. And whatever happens, happens. You know what I mean? Cause because I think in the in in our community, in the black community, to be specific, we've been disrespected for so long as a whole that respect is everything. And we're willing, and you hear it all the time, I'll die about mine, right? I'll die about respect. And so there's there's that feeling like, yo, I'm You you touch what's mine, I gotta touch you. And so we go and then run over there and and you know, maybe I dust up one of them, but they still got two more, right? And now I gotta fight for my life. And I don't know what they got in the car. They, you I mean they had a G and X, so niggas probably got guns. Like it's just it's just be clear. Like they didn't look like three upstanding citizens. They look like Yeah, yeah. And they granted they was white, but they look like what was we mentioned earlier, white mic, right? They look like they have been in the been in the hood a little bit or or just in in impoverished areas. They didn't look like wealthy gentlemen. They look like they might be able to fight. Or at least they fight dirty. Right. Yeah for sure. Yeah, yeah. They wasn't gonna let you get the fair one. They was gonna you was gonna have to fight all three of them. and if you got down, it was for sure gonna stomp you. yeah. But a young version of me probably would have like, yo, that whatever.

speaker-1: Okay, let me grab this crowbar at the back.

speaker-0: Yeah. Like I'll let's let what I got. What what advantage can I take over there with me? But we because we gotta do this. I luckily, as amazing and beautiful as my wife is, have never been in this situation. Blessing. And we've been in some places and we've been around some people, and you know, and I've I've never had the situation. I've definitely thought about it, definitely been in spaces where like dudes is looking, you know what I mean? Like that happens. Like dudes are dudes are like, you know, cause you you go to a party and when you're young, go to parties, go to clubs, like everybody's in there trying to get at somebody. Like everybody's trying to take something home, whether it be a phone number or actual person. So everybody's on go in terms of like the energy, right? But I've never had anybody like cross that line. and so I guess I'm blessed in that way. Right. I never had the I never had the like you say in the five heartbeat, it's five heartbeats. I gotta fight every night to prove my love. Like I've never never had to do it. but I've thought it through, right? And and I've thought through scenarios where like what I'm what would I would have to do. Now at 43, you gotta get in the car. Yeah, we both gonna have to eat this one. And and I I'm a I'm a apologetic for how you feel. I'm apologetic for you having to be in that situation. But at the end of the day. Protection is getting you home. Protection is not me going and get beat to sleep. Protection. Right. Going to jail, getting, getting killed. Like there, there's a lot of things, there's a lot of things that can go wrong here. And no things go right. Right. Cause even if I go over there and I beat up all three of them, I'm probably like it, there's a good chance that I get arrested. And it's assault. Like it's. That's I'm gonna do some time or I'm gonna I'm gonna have some repercussions, which is not gonna be good for either one of us. I can't go to work. if I get sent off somewhere, then you gotta take care of the house and the family, the kids all by yourself. Like there's no win in me taking physical action there, even verbally, right? Like if it just start cussing and arguing and stuff, there's the I don't, there's no benefit to it. So you got to get in the car. I got to get in the car. I have to deal with the the emotion of of frustration that I definitely have. Cause you could tell he was frustrated in the video. Like he was rubbing his hands. He was, he was ready to, you know, do whatever he needed to do, but he had to pull it back because wisdom tells you that there's no win in this situation. Right. So I'm with him, man. Like I I I don't know that there's anything that I could have done in that situation. Now. There's a little different if we're in the store together and it happens. Right. I think that's a different scenario. still three of them, but like I'm actually in the midst of it happening. I might have to fire off on the first one and we just gotta do you know what I'm saying? Like it that's gonna be a lot harder to manage than yeah. I'm outside, it's already happened. Now we're dealing with the consequences, repercussions of that happening.

speaker-1: Because there's less emotion involved in it, I think. Probably.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: And logical mind, it's is it's out the window. This person just grabbed.

speaker-0: In front of me, right? Like that's you double down on the disrespect. Cause we walked into the store together. Ain't no way like you don't know that we aren't together. We talked about the chips that we was gonna buy, like I asked her to grab me the Arizona Iced T in the back. Then we come up to the register. Yeah, we come up to the register and you you know I mean now you talking out the side of your neck and you grab yeah, no, we we gonna tear some shit up in this store today. And I and I might lose like I'm I I'm just gonna say like it's three of y'all and y'all really wanna fight, like I'm probably gonna lose this one, but somebody gonna feel it. Like one or two of y'all is gonna get the best of me and that third one gonna clean me up. But it it's gonna be it's gonna be a knockdown, drag out, and whatever happens after that happens, but but it has to. And I I f damn I don't wanna say that 'cause I got kids, right? Like I I I think I think there's a part of me that would want to not do it. Yeah. I don't know if I'm strong enough, y'all.

speaker-1: Yeah. Listen. I've talked about it on a podcast before when my pops always told me, he said, Michael, if you have to walk a mile to avoid a fight, you walk that mile. But if they put their hands on you, send them to the grave. And I'm like, so what about in this situation, Pops? They put their hands on my on my wife, on my girlfriend, on my cousin, on my homegirl, whatever she is to me. But it is one of those things, like you say, with young Mike, okay, it's go time. And the best case scenario, I stump him out, no police, we get out of here. But when I go to this gas station or I'm in this area, it might be some some situations might pop off because this fool knew this fool and that that's him from the whoop-de-woop that So a song, right? Worst case scenario, I get my head cracked. Or I'm going to jail because you know I'm saying it just went it just went bad. Right. You know, it just went bad. protection, man. We always think of protection in only one way. Or it's it's always given to us in one way. They touched your girl, protect her.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: Sometimes that protection is they touched your girl, baby, get in the car. We gotta go. We gotta get out of here immediately. We gotta go. That's protection too. the difficult the difficulty comes with having to explain that to someone who has been violated and looks to you for protection. Having to I don't wanna say sell that to her, but having to like just explain it to her on that level where she can understand. Right. But then it's like I don't wanna get too too deep. You got like epigenetics where it's like they say The things that our ancestors went through is passed on to us even in our genes, right? Mm-hmm. Being back in the day, slavery time, even we can go just go through a couple. Slavery time, you're watching someone who was your wife now getting taken away by

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: master to go get violated. You know what I'm saying? And there's nothing you can do about it. You can't protect her. You can try your best. You're gonna die. Right. Then time ticks, 1920s. Some white man spits on your wife and you gotta suck it up because you're gonna be killed or you're gonna go to jail behind it. Mm-hmm. And now here we are free, and someone is doing the same thing, just groping your wife, and now again you have to just walk away. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you just wanna do for the ancestors, you know? But

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah, but think. You gotta think, young brother. You gotta think. Furious styles. it's difficult, man. Like it's not an easy road to be a man and to navigate this manhood, to navigate this quote unquote, I'm an alpha or I'm you beta. Like, there's a lot that has to go with navigating, mm-hmm, being a man. And that's one of those things. Like, to lead, it's not always the people that you're leading gonna be happy about the choices that you make. Right. But you just gotta have the wisdom to make the right choice and and and stand on it and be like, This is what I gotta do for our family. If you can go out and and go to work or you gotta suck it up from your boss that just talk crazy to you, you know what I'm saying, and then come home and deal with this and that and that you can Welcome to Being a Man. It's

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: a grown man game. You gotta choose wisdom over reaction. And it's difficult, man. Because I've seen it in real life. I remember being like in my late teens, maybe early 20s, hanging out in Old Town Pasadena. And a dude and his girl is walking past like a pack of brothers. And one of the dudes just. Smacks hope old boy's girl's booty and he looks at old boy like, yeah, you and yo, what's up? And it was one of those things where I'm like, man, that's crazy.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: But you know, they kept walking. And I was like, that was probably the best choice for him, but

speaker-0: Whew. Yeah. You know that that that car ride home from that is is gotta be uncomfortable. But it can't be more uncomfortable than the this this one. Like put your hand on the glass conversation. Right. Or like, you know, the the the car ride home after you get beat to sleep and she gotta drive. Or or the ambulance come to pick you up and she got to meet you at the hospital. Like those conversations, I'm willing to just take the like, hey man, look, it was 20 of them. It was me. I don't want I don't know what you expected from me. Like I'ma protect you. I'm gonna fight viciously for you if I have to. But man, man, the the odds were insurmountable. There was no way. Cause then, okay, so now here's even worse scenario. I get beat up. I'm on the ground and got knocked out. Who gonna protect you now? They still there. All of them are still there. And they're full of energy now. Now what? You does that what you want? Now is nobody to stop. Yeah, do your thing. Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah, go in the store, baby. Go ahead and run. Run in the store, please.

speaker-0: You know what I mean? Like it that's just such a again. I go back to one of our previous episodes. Is I never I don't get the is so many women in the world. So many opportunities to to get with or be with somebody. Why, man? Why is it so much focus on another man? Like, I just, I don't get it. Like it is it is the challenge. Is it like the the chase? Like you can, you regular women gonna give you a challenge. Like it's regular women out here that's gonna force you to work hard to get to it. Why on earth of all the opportunities you wanna fight for this one? I just don't make sense.

speaker-1: Insecurity, man. If I can prove that I can get this other person's girl, now I'm worth something.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: You know what I'm saying? I I'm I'm now I know for sure I'm the man because he's the man. I look at him and he's the man and I can snatch his chick. Now I know I'm the man. But

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: then you gotta keep doing that because you're

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: insecure. You know what I'm saying? Even that dude walking in the street, I gotta grab her boot, you insecure. You wouldn't do that if you was by yourself. I don't know why I'm talking to the camera, cause y'all ain't doing that. But they wouldn't do that if they were by themselves. Right.

speaker-0: Right. Yeah. If you was just one man walking down the street and saw saw another dude and this girl and you just gra like you've gotta be you certifiable.

speaker-1: Yeah, insane.

speaker-0: It just it I don't I've never seen that happen. I've seen groups, right? Where dudes feel empowered by the group. Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: But I've never seen a a solo act like you yeah, you really ready to just take it to the end of the world. Like you you ready to go this you ready for somebody to die tonight. Like that just don't make sense. Or or you've you've surveyed the the surroundings. You look at this guy and you just feel like you could dominate him, right? Like maybe that's the case, right? Like you look at him and you're significantly bigger or you just know you can fight, or you got a weapon and so you can just do whatever you want. But again, the weapon or knowing how to fight is the same as having multiple people with you. It's it's a fake sense of security. Yep. And which ultimately means you're insecure. So anyway, I I mean again, you guys probably aren't, hopefully Aren't the ones that are portray are perpetrating these kind of crimes against humanity.

speaker-1: Sorry.

speaker-0: However, those people are out there, right? And in in those situations, if something like that happens, I would advise you, regardless of the car ride conversation, that you get in the car and go home. And as as Pop said in Friday, you live to fight another day.

speaker-1: Ik leef de fight.

speaker-0: Yeah, look, you win some, you lose some, but you win to fight another day. And that's what it's about. It's about getting home at the end of the day. Right? A lot of stuff can happen. It can go bad. But if you get home at the end of the day, you have another chance. You wake up with a chance and a choice to start all over and do it again, man. Like that's a terrible way to end your night. Yeah. You know what I mean? man, what happened this weekend? man, I got my ass whooped this weekend. You wouldn't even believe what happened, dog. My lady got her.

speaker-1: What? Yeah, that's why every time I talk I whistle cause my fronts is gone so shou.

speaker-0: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's something that that you mentioned earlier that I didn't even connect to and I don't know why I missed it. Even if you win, there's a very real chance, unless you out of town, right? Very real chance that you circle around like most most cities are small. Like even big cities are small because you only you only like are in certain areas of the city. You live in that area or you frequent that area, you're gonna run across them again. Yeah. And it's gonna it's on site. Like if I fight three people and I beat up three people, like me say me and Mike, we beat up this or this dude beat us up, there's very little chance that I see him again and I don't wanna rectify that. Especially if we both see him again, we both gotta get beat up again. Like it that's just how

speaker-1: Ain't that old boy?

speaker-0: I feel like that's just that's just how I was raised, the neighborhood I was in. If you got into a fight with somebody, it was multiple fights. Like it was very rarely that you got into that fight with one person and y'all both mutually was like, that's it. You got me, I got you, or whatever the case may be, and we never have to fight again. Dudes used to fight. I still mess with Ari's brother to this day, because him and this dude, they fought constantly. I mean, like they fought on the bus one time, they fought at school, the school that neither one of them even went to, they fought at the mall, they fought at the movies. They fought at on at the bus stop. They fought at the the community college. Like every time they they fought at a party one time, every time they seen each other, it was on site. And it was like even. You know what I mean? Like what you won, I won. You won, I won. They kept going back and forth. And I don't know what eventually stopped it, but but it was just like it just had to keep happening. and that's just kind of how it how it was for whatever reason. You know, that's just our community, I guess, is everybody fighting for power or respect or whatever. And so you beat me up and people saw it, I gotta fight you again.

speaker-1: I gotta get that back. I gotta get that.

speaker-0: Yeah, I need that. I need you got to run it again. You know, run that fade again. and so winning that battle might mean you end up losing the war. And the cause because again, if you beat up three dudes, right? Their mindset now is like we can't whip him with with hands. So next time we see him, we at the very least need a bat or a crowbar or maybe we gotta poke him. You know what I'm saying? Like this they they have to escalate the situation because they lost the last time. And you don't want that, right? So if it if it's dudes that's gonna act the way that they acted, they are ready to take it to the next level. I think, right? I if I was them, that's I would be ready too. Yeah. so yeah, you just be smart, wisdom,

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: think it through, all pl play out all the possible scenarios. Choose I mean you listen, you choose your own adventure, do whatever you're gonna do. But my advice to you would be to get in the car. Argue on the way home, but get home.

speaker-1: Get home.

speaker-0: Get home.

speaker-1: And that same muscle you need to make that hard choice and that hard decision is the same muscle that's going to push your family to where they need to be. It's gonna push you to where you need to be. It's gonna have you not choking out that white dude at your job that just says something crazy, disrespectful, trying to bait you and to do something crazy because he knows you out there handling business and this new position is coming up. So if I can get him, if I can just get him right up. Little bit, I just get them off that. I can slide in it. Same muscle. You need that muscle to be strong. Or whoever. Don't gotta be white, black, whatever. Just someone trying to bait you into doing something that you know you don't need to do. But they will try hard to bait you.

speaker-0: Yeah. I think kind of tying it all together, we talked about this at the beginning as something that you was kind of su getting celebrated for as is emotional regulation. Right. It's a superpower. Cause we we talk about a lot of times as men when we we look down on somebody being emotional, right? Emotions are fine to have. You should have emotions and you should feel them fully, but emotions shouldn't control you. It shouldn't be emotional. You shouldn't have emotions, but not be emotional. And a way not to be emotional is to have emotional regulation. In that moment, everything in you says fight.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: But you have to step outside yourself and regulate that emotion. Is this going to be the outcome that I want? Is this going to be in the big picture? Right. Because in the in the short term, it might be. Right. It very well might be. You might go over there and and you stomp them boys out. You go home, your lady gonna throw it on you because she excited. Yeah, you mean all that might happen. However, what happens next? You know, so it's it's having emotional intelligence is a s emotional intelligence and emotional regulation are superpowers, super power that a lot of us don't have because we aren't taught it. It doesn't get shared with us. We don't have a podcast where people tell us it's important, and we don't learn it until we get old. Right. And we don't have a choice but to regulate our emotions because being out of control doesn't benefit us. Right. It takes time for us to learn not having control of our emotions is a negative. Right. Also, in a lot of cases, a lot of us are raised by emotional people. And I'm not gonna say anything more than that, 'cause I I know when I say it on on my social media, it typically goes left and people get upset. But But 50% of marriages end up in divorce, and most of those children live with one of the parents. One of the parents, either male or female, is typically more emotional than the other. And then young men get raised with that emotional parent and they take that out into the world and use those emotions the way that that parent would have. But being a man and having that level of emotional control or lack thereof. Does not bow well for you, big dog. It just doesn't. It doesn't. No one's catering to you. No one's coming to save you. No one cares about your emotion. Your emotions gonna be met with aggression in most cases. And so you have to have to have to go to work on it. you have to start working on yourself. You have to find ways to regulate your emotions. You have to find ways to I think first tap into and understand what those emotions are. because if you don't, you really can't control it. Like if I don't If I don't know what's going into my bank account, then I can't budget. Right. Like if I don't know what's driving my bank account up or down, then I can't budget that account. I can't control it. It's just whatever's happening, happening, right? Like it's it's like being on a sailboat. I want to go somewhere, but I gotta wait for the wind. And if the wind is blowing that way, well shit, I'm going that way. Like I just, you know what I mean? I have no control. And so for us as men, I would say my grown man game for this episode is to work on your emotional intelligence. So that you can work on your emotional regulation, so that you can lead in the way that you wanna lead. So you can man in the way that you wanna man, so that you can be a grown man and not just a male.

speaker-1: yeah, I like that. That's it, man. You done tied it up. Put the bow on top. We're good, man.

speaker-0: Right. All right. So look, we we told y'all at the beginning of the episode, right? We're gonna something we're gonna start doing a little bit more often. But if you made it to this point and you somehow missed the beginning, or maybe you were doing something and you didn't have the opportunity to write it down or type it in, go follow us, Grown Man Game Pod on Instagram. you're probably watching on YouTube. If you're not already watching on YouTube, make sure you like, share, subscribe on there. maybe nice mic on IG. Forfeit Fatherhood, the number four on IG. And shoot us a follow. We appreciate it. thank you for taking your time. Listen, this has been another episode of Grown Man Game, and we will catch you next time.

speaker-1: Mad G, Mad K, Mad G, Mad G, GMG, GMG, GMG, GMG. What up, Ron? What's that, Mike?