Can Men and Women Really Be Just Friends? | Grown Man Game

speaker-0: Alright, we live or we recording.

speaker-1: Yeah, we're not live. But we are back. Back with another episode of Grown Man Game. I am just one part of your host, Rod, and this is my guy, my ace, my homie, Big Mike.

speaker-0: Hey. What's happen? What's happening?

speaker-1: And man, listen. So last episode was a catch up episode. This episode, we are back into our normal cadence. we got our stride back. We ready to rock and roll, you know, to share some real grown man games, kind of talk about some stuff that that I think we all can either agree or disagree on. Yeah. I think I think that's kind of the thing, right? Like you can agree or disagree, or agree to disagree.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: But as long as we have the conversation, I think that's the most important part because if you don't talk about it, you can't change it. You don't talk about it, you can't make it better. So we're gonna get into it.

speaker-0: All right, man.

speaker-1: Before we do though, how you doing, brother?

speaker-0: Doing all right, man. Feeling rejuvenated, refreshed, regenerated. I need some more R's, man. Yeah, recouped, recovered, reinstated into reality, right, where I can be comfortable, huh? Comfortable with the complexities of my complexion because Christ died on the cross for me.

speaker-1: Man, see, I thought you was going a different direction. I I was about to say something about being pieced 'cause you was like you was on hitting in points. I thought you was finna, you know, but okay, all right.

speaker-0: Listen, brother.

speaker-1: I'm just saying, it it felt it felt very bean pie ish.

speaker-0: W Jesus is represented in Islam. Peace be upon him. You know what I'm saying? So you know I'm saying? We we we you know what I'm saying? We we we close. Man,

speaker-1: Well yeah.

speaker-0: we in there. We in there. No, I'm feeling good, man. How about you, bro?

speaker-1: I I'm doing well as well. I officially have a high school kid and a and a middle schooler. So no more elementary school for me. I don't walk kids into class anymore, just drop off, pull up, kick the kick the door open, they fall out and then you know, you just pull off. so yeah, I'm officially there, which is interesting because my oldest will be fourteen in just a few days. And it's different, man. For some for some reason, 14 feels different than 13. It just feels like she's so much older now. Like she's gotten taller. she talked a little bit more than she used to. She got she got a little bit more swag. She kind of coming into her own. Yeah,

speaker-0: Okay.

speaker-1: yeah. She she was getting ready for school this morning and I made breakfast and she came down and she's putting on lip gloss. I'm like, what you doing that for? You about to eat breakfast. She's like I was like, man, you know, wipe your lips and go eat this breakfast. Trying to look cute, man. Get out of here.

speaker-0: Yeah man.

speaker-1: But you know, I'm I'm embracing it, letting her kind of, you know, figure out who she is, discover herself and kind of lean into it. And I'm just here to support and guide. And we had our so Ari does a birds and bees general conversation with not really birds and bees, but more like biolog biology. Right. You're you're you know. Eleven-year-old girl, 12-year-old girl, 13-year-old girl, these are things that happen. You have your period, you have these different things changes and you know, you start to like boy. She had that kind of broader conversation. Okay. On our vacation, me and the oldest went to breakfast by ourselves and we had the the real birds and bees conversation.

speaker-0: You hit her on o on the vacation.

speaker-1: Yeah, because like look, when we get back, it was only a week before you gotta go back, two weeks before you gotta go back to school. Like, I need to have this conversation for them 10, 12 year old, I'm sorry, 10 and 12th grade boys see you and be like, hey, we get fresh fish on the line. You know what I mean? Cause I know how it is. I was I was the ones in high school too. And so I was like, Yeah, we gotta have that conversation because you know, you're maturing and boys are gonna start looking at you different. It ain't like the everybody ain't gonna be what they be saying, chopped. Not everybody's gonna be chopped. You're gonna like somebody and they're gonna like you. And this is how you have to navigate it. So we had that conversation. There was some some squirms and some squam

speaker-0: I mean of course.

speaker-1: from both of us, right? Cause I was like saying something. I was like, I didn't want to have this conversation ever, but I know that I had to. You got to, man. And but at the end of it, I felt really good about it. I feel like we have we didn't end the conversation, we left it open, right? So we can continue to come back to it and continue to talk. So you know. feeling good about it. I'm interested in to hear how this this first day of school goes though. Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: Hey man, well bless you, brother. You know what I'm saying? Give me some give me some pointers once you get there.

speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, no, you you close bro.

speaker-0: I got well, I got one more year, you know what I'm saying? I got a little eighth grader out there now.

speaker-1: Knocking on the doorstep.

speaker-0: She, I mean, I'm glad that we have the relationship that we have and it's very open and we can communicate. But there are moments when it's tough. She's like, Daddy, I'm like, what's up, baby? So what if I had a boyfriend? You can have a boyfriend this year? In my head, I'm like, no.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: No. But, you know, I'm like, okay, well, we can talk. You know what I'm saying? You know, your focus is what? school and volleyball. Okay, cool. School and volleyball is your focus. So having something else, you know, pulling your time. Well, we can talk about that, you know. Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: We can talk about it.

speaker-1: Yeah, it's funny, man, because I've been thinking back on myself and talking to Aria and knowing her history is like, yeah, boyfriends or girlfriends, whatever in middle school or in high school. Like me and Ari have been together since she was in ninth grade. I was in 10th. So, you know, that's hard for our girl, because they know, right? So they know that we've been together for that long. So for them, it's like, well, why can't we? I'm

speaker-0: Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: like, cause you can't. Right. But like even the the relationships I had before, and I don't wouldn't even call them relationships where I had like a girlfriend in the seventh grade and a girlfriend in eighth grade. It was like a two-week relationship. Like it would we went we wrote some letters and we kissed in the hallway or something like that. But there was no like real relationship. Like, what is the point? Why

speaker-0: What is the point?

speaker-1: were we so anxious to get into these fleeting relationships to just because it was always drama. It was always something going on. It was, it was totally unnecessary. and so I try to convey that to them is like, yeah, it's not that I don't want you to to have a boyfriend or to have fine love or whatever you think it is, but it's such a waste of time at this point. Like you ain't gonna do nothing. And luckily I don't have sons, but like he ain't got no money. You dating his parents at this point. Like if y'all go somewhere or do something, his parents is paying for it. Like that, just just stop it. Just just stop it. Don't even do it. Don't waste time. You can have people you like, you can have friends, you for sure. Cause you do stuff with your friends, that's cool. Like don't do the boyfriend, girlfriend stuff. Just

speaker-0: For what?

speaker-1: go watch a movie together, go to the mall, go to Victoria Gardens and walk.

speaker-0: A nice little group.

speaker-1: Put your hands in your pockets. You don't need to hold hands. It's too hot. Hands can be sweaty. It's gross. Don't do it.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: but that's where they are, right? And so, you know, being present and trying to have the conversations and being involved. Reagan is on a love journey, right? She has watched every rom-com that's PG 13 at this point. Like that was her mission over the summers. Whenever she had downtime, it was a rom-com. And I swear to you, bro, she has watched probably 30. So

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: she is all in on finding love. I'm

speaker-0: okay.

speaker-1: like, man, you see what's happening to these people in these movies? Does that look fun to you? Like ninety-nine percent of the movie is all drama and pain and sadness and crying and people are breaking their hearts. And then at the end they come back together.

speaker-0: So

speaker-1: The crazy part is at the end is the dude picks the girl, but he leaves somebody else. Like somebody is getting cheated on, or somebody's getting left at the altar because he fell in love with some. Like, you could be the one left at the altar. You could be the like don't do it. Don't, you're too young. Don't do it. I advise against it. Yes, me and your mother were together in high school, and both of us would tell you we shouldn't have been. We should have waited until we were older. Because that's when our relationship actually became real. Before that, we was just messing around.

speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah. They gotta walk their own path, man. That's the

speaker-1: Yeah, I just hope they don't stumble.

speaker-0: Don't stumble, please don't fall off the path. Yeah,

speaker-1: Knock some the pebbles out the way.

speaker-0: let me yeah, come on. Watch out for the rattlesnakes, please. Tarantulas

speaker-1: Out there.

speaker-0: and the mountain the mountain lions is out there too.

speaker-1: I blame y'all cause y'all sons, man. You ain't got your sons together.

speaker-0: Did you get your first little taste of something, man? Man, shut up, man.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. I remember my dad used to be asking, not that particular question, but he used to always ask me because we got you know, I didn't see him all the time. He's like, Well, you got a girlfriend now? What's going on? Like, man, why are we encouraging that? Mm-hmm. I remember one time I told him I did and I didn't, because I just it felt like he wanted me to have one. It felt like he thought that was the right thing. So I was like, yeah. I made up a name and everything. I

speaker-0: Ha she lives in Canada.

speaker-1: had a whole fake relationship. Just because I thought my dad thought that was cool or that was supposed to do and you know, I was trying to impress him. I ain't had no girlfriend, man. I ain't had no desire to have a girlfriend. I like girls obviously. Right.

speaker-0: It's cute.

speaker-1: You know what I mean? All that, but I

speaker-0: It was just

speaker-1: ain't know what to do with that. Know how to be a boy.

speaker-0: Your head in them books and off of them gals.

speaker-1: Yeah, right. Yeah. That's what we need more of. man.

speaker-0: Yeah, it's an interesting ride, man, being a a a girl dad, you know. But it's also very rewarding. You know what I'm saying? It's like I got a buddy, two of my buddies at work. One has a two year old daughter and then the other one, his daughter will be here October.

speaker-1: Okay.

speaker-0: I'm like, when you when you have daughters, when you have a daughter, man, I don't know how it is to have sons. I can't speak to that. But your daughter takes care of you. Mm-hmm. And then there's like a connection there that's just like, damn, man, this is this is crazy. This is crazy. I mean, and they also force you to be better. Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: I gotta be more sensitive. I gotta watch my tone. I have to I have to be understanding, you know. They're talking about, no, daddy, let me tell you about what happened over here, about this, that, and the third. And it's like, I gotta be engaged, I have to be focused, I have to remember what she said, because later on I can be like, bring it back up. So she knows. Okay, my daddy actually listens to me. Cause one day it's gonna be some little dude that we're talking about. And if He's not doing the things that my daddy did. I don't what? I don't want that dude. You know what I'm saying? My

speaker-1: Right. Yeah.

speaker-0: daddy listen, this guy don't never want to listen. My daddy do whatever he needs to do for me. This dude don't want to do nothing for me. My daddy always told me how great I was, how intelligent and pretty I am, and this and that. This dude don't never say no, he's not for me.

speaker-1: Yeah. You know.

speaker-0: So it's like, sh but them girls, they love you, boy.

speaker-1: Yeah, they do. They do, yeah. They do. I think sons love you too. Like I've been a son. I've been a son, right? So I can only speak to it from being a son, not having a son. And yeah, I mean, I I admired my dad and he was a superhero and all that kind of stuff. And yeah, at the same time, like it was different. It's different than the relationship you have with a daughter. Like a daughter makes you different. Without without like you don't you don't have a choice, right? It just automatically changes you. And I think and I I just posted this actually yesterday. Having a daughter made me a better husband. You know what I mean? Because I immediately had to change my stance on some stuff. Like I had to be aware of emotions and I had to work on my own emotional intelligence. Like prior to having daughters and I was content just being myself, you know what I mean? Yeah. Right in the middle, even keel, not too high, not too low. Like, you know, if something's bothering you, it'll get better. you know, get over it, you know, ain't nothing to cry about, that kind of stuff, right? Dang, I gotta validate her feelings and I gotta make sure that I you know, I gotta affirm her and make sure that I'm there and and kinda c not coddling, but like be there for her to to to open up. And because of that, like, shoot, I can do that with my wife. Yeah. Right? Like, yeah, dang, man. Better in relationships with you. That's what's up. Thank you, baby.

speaker-0: Yeah. I told Maddie that one day. I was like, you know, you've made me a better person, you know, and I I learn from you. Like it's my job to teach you and to guide you, but I also get to learn from you. Yeah. That's a beautiful thing. And

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: I would have never said that, you know what I'm saying? Years ago, you know, but here we are. Here we are. Brother,

speaker-1: Yes, sir.

speaker-0: some congratulations are in order.

speaker-1: I I mean always, right? I don't I don't know what I did, but you know.

speaker-0: I mean, listen, man. We didn't really get into it on the last podcast because we were just, you know, kind of just letting everybody know we back and talking about our summer and the things that we got into and this, that, and the third. But I want to congratulate you, man, because you know I'm saying you got the call to Washington. You know what I'm saying? Obama hit him up personally. Nah, he got the call to Washington. You know, we're talking about fatherhood and guidance and all these things. He ain't take me with him, you know what I'm saying?

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: You know, but you know, he represented us. Us and us. You know what I'm saying? So I just want to congratulate you for being on people's radar and just living a life that would make someone say, okay, this is the guy that we want to speak about. Yeah. Fatherhood, about leadership, about You know, I'm saying the things that we need in our community and in the United States. So congratulations, brother.

speaker-1: You

speaker-0: There we go. Why

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: don't you want you, you know, talk about that a little bit?

speaker-1: Yeah, no, so I had the opportunity to go speak to congressman and the representative for for California. actually it's funny enough, I saw Pete Aguilar last night at the national night out thing in Rancho.

speaker-0: Mm okay, shout out to Pete.

speaker-1: He was out there. I don't know what he was out there for, but I just said hi or whatever and shook his hand and he kinda act like he remembered me kinda One

speaker-0: bloody.

speaker-1: of the things, you know what I mean? Like he probably shake hands a bit a lot of people.

speaker-0: Side note, shout out to Pete Aguilar. When we were going for this old man and his old, beautiful, old wife, old, crusty, old beautiful people, turning 40, you know what I'm saying? We were going to Tulum, you know what I'm saying, doing it big, doing it big, you know what I'm saying? Had an amazing time. I took a little time to get my, you know what I'm saying, my passport. It took a little, you know, a little extra time to get my passport. So I hit. You know what I'm saying? The AI and the AI told me, well, well, you need to hit up Pete Aguilar, man. I'm like, man, that sounds crazy. But I did. Actually, no, I had mine. Tiff didn't have hers. We were trying to get Tiffs. That's right. So I hit Pete. I p I hit his office and they were like, We got you, Mr. Todd. Hit me back. I emailed them first. They hit me back. Then they called me. Hey, we can do this, this, this, and this. We can set you up with an appointment on this. But you know what I'm saying, by the grace of God, the same like time we were able to slide in and kind of get like a

speaker-1: Get it expedited?

speaker-0: Yeah, like a little drop in kind of thing. So we could go straight to the office and get it that day. So she was at Tiff was able to get she leaving the house right now. Bye baby. she was able to get in the office and get her passport in one day. But You know, so shout out to Peter Aguilar, man. I keep voting for you just because of that. So keep it up, man. But back to you, back to you, man. My bad.

speaker-1: So I got a chance to go out there and speak to them and to go to the the meta offices and and talk to some of the people there. ultimately kind of talking about social media and how we regulate it, how we maybe put up boundaries or barriers around it because our kids are. I mean, social media is hard for adults.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: It's grown people that can't handle it, let alone a teenager. Or or younger on some platforms. And so you know, just kind of talking about what we can do on the app store level, or what we can do within the individual apps to kind of put some safeguards up around our children and their access to things because there's a whole lot of stuff out there. I mean, like I said, even for us, like you go if you scroll long enough, you'll find something crazy. And

speaker-0: yeah.

speaker-1: True. If you if you give it a half a second, so you're gonna find more and more crazy. And kids don't know how to decipher that. They don't know what's real and what's AI. They don't know what's real and what's a skit. And then the next thing you know, they're trying it or they're, you know, think normalizing it, if anything, right? Now they might even try it, but it just becomes normal to them. and that's dangerous. Right. And so ultimately the conversations were around parents being or having the ability to have some say. Or some level of control. Like we don't want you know, certain bills and and things to be passed to like take parenting out of our hands, but to to give us some assistance because we are managing all of the different things that go with parenting along with managing our own lives and our own relationships. And then we got, you know, apps and things on their phone that we have no idea about. Right. Like it was it was I forgot what game it was and I probably shouldn't say it anyway, but there was a game that Reese was playing. It's like one of them little free games and it got like in-app purchases. and if you skip the in-app purchase, you gotta like watch the video to keep playing the game or whatever. And we're driving and I can hear the video in the background, like hear it start playing. And then it was like a ED correctile function dysfunction thing. And it's like a little bubble pop game, like a little kid game. And I hear him start talking about it, and it's one of those ones that's like a little racier, you know, like they're starting to get a little bit more like All night, like

speaker-0: Yeah. I can go off. Yeah. The bougie geek, my hard rock.

speaker-1: And I'm like, what are you waiting for? I I didn't know what I didn't she was in the back about to cry. Like, so I'm like, yeah, man, I'm living it right now. Like, so we it's something that we all need help with. And there there's bills and legislation that's that's on the on the docket that's could potentially be passed. So I just went and talked to people and kind of shared my views on it. And it was all good. Like I felt like I had really good conversations. There was some pushback and some kind of back and forth, but I think I held my own. and I think we will see some of that stuff change. I don't know how soon, because there's other very important things going on in the

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: US right now. and so, you know, I think that we will see it probably in the next, you know, next year or so kind of come out where there's some some barriers or some guy rails on the app, either on the app store or directly on apps. but it it's coming soon. Good. And I think it I think it'll it'll try to kind of piggyback off of whatever the next AI legislation is, because that's what's holding it up. It's like by itself, according to the representatives in Congress and all that, it's it's not strong enough to to be a single bill. It is right now, but it's going to need the support of something else to be able to get pushed through.

speaker-0: Okay, piggyback on some.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. And so it they they're thinking that AI I think there's something, I can't remember what they told me specifically, but there's some some some stuff around AI and how we get access to it or how it gets access to us that should be coming out pretty soon and they'll gonna roll that bill into it. So a lot a lot of yapping about mm-hmm that and that was cool, had a good time, learned some stuff, got to see some stuff. No Barack though. Yeah.

speaker-0: No bro.

speaker-1: Didn't get to go to the White House. This is before they had the the UFC event. So it was all shut down. you couldn't really even see. Like they had a like a chain link fence, but not like the normal eight or ten foot one. It was like 13 feet and black tarp. So you couldn't see nothing. You could see like the little arch where they had the fight underneath it, but couldn't really see the White House unless you were super far away and then it's you know in the midst of trees or whatever. So yeah.

speaker-0: hello, I wanna.

speaker-1: So listen, I I mean, obviously, I mean that's something to congratulate myself about, but look, you are about to be a thousand.

speaker-0: No.

speaker-1: No, no, no. So so Mike's Mike's forty-sixth birthday is is coming up. I thought you was gonna be forty-five, man. I was gonna give you forty five because I know that's your favorite president. but no, Mike is

speaker-0: Come on, man.

speaker-1: No, Mike is about to be forty-six. And and the the reason I wanna congratulate you on on that, right, is because there are a lot of us that don't make it that far. Right. but more importantly, the way you lived your forty six. Right. Like great husband, great father, great friend, great employee, you know what I mean? Great brother. Like you you you embody the type of person that people want to be around. And you know, that's why you keep getting blessed with more years, right? You just keep like you gotta keep Big Mike around. Like he's he's too important. He's too impactful. You know what I mean? So I wanna I this is this is like a a a big congratulation. Like I wanna congratulate you on the man that you are, the man that you're continuing to be and that like you never stop becoming, right? I feel like you're always doing something to get better. probably one of the most thoughtful people I can think of. Like I was thinking back the other day. do you remember I don't even remember how it came up. I think you asked me about it, or we was on y'all podcast. You might have said something about it. And I was talking about that coconut lime verbena soap from Bath and Body Works.

speaker-0: yeah.

speaker-1: It just just kind of mentioned it. Like it wasn't like a man, I can man, like I said it a bunch of times. Nah. They used to have this this scent. Bath and body words had a scent. Coconut lime and verbena verbena like my favorite scent. It was kind of the at that time they didn't have a whole man section. Right. They had this

speaker-0: Call me.

speaker-1: they had this like this was the only one that kind of had like a a cool little line.

speaker-0: Yeah, we're not like

speaker-1: Right. It was it was close enough. Right. They didn't have a bourbon back then. You know what I mean? and my sister had got it for me. And I was like, man, this is dope. Like I love this scent. And then they discontinued it. And I couldn't find it nowhere. And then this guy and his lovely wife found some and and gave it to me. Was it for Christmas?

speaker-0: I think it was either your birthday or

speaker-1: It might have been whatever it was. It was like, man, that was super th like I it was literally just a little part of a whole other conversation. And man held on to it. There you go, big dog. And like that, that's that kind of stuff for that kind of person, there's not not a whole lot. There are not a whole lot of people that pay attention to what you say, take it in and and like make you feel seen and heard. Even though we argue about some stuff and you, you know, you still believe stuff that's just completely off the wall.

speaker-0: this guy.

speaker-1: it's just crazy. But you know what I mean? I love you anyway, man. And so congratulations on being you, brother.

speaker-0: Appreciate that, man. For real, man.

speaker-1: Not not the accomplishments, not the achievements, just the man in the center of it all deserves a congratulations. Don't tear up,

speaker-0: Appreciate that man.

speaker-1: because I know you mean it a little bit, I do. Yeah, your eyes is good.

speaker-0: You know what I'm saying? Thing, man. You know, I feel like you have to just have emotions in order to do certain things, you know.

speaker-1: So we just talked about it, right? Like, man, I you know, you don't congratulate me enough.

speaker-0: You know what I'm saying? Now we get man stop that man. Man, come on man.

speaker-1: Right, yeah. You're totally right. I hear you clear.

speaker-0: Right. You should hear me speaking speaking my mind.

speaker-1: That's crazy. So when I wanted to do that, I'd be saying, okay, Google a hundred times. Mm-hmm. See? Nothing happened. We say anything like You see what I'm saying? But

speaker-0: And now you got mine piping up. Just a second. Can I help you today? No, no. That that wasn't even my voice.

speaker-1: See what saying, man? But but let me let me go in there and we talk about anything and go and start to type it a pop up. Okay, suck.

speaker-0: AI not there yet, y'all. AI is not there yet. It's getting real close.

speaker-1: getting close. It's it's getting scary. Mm-hmm. 'cause it's starting to get to a point where you you literally, if you're looking at social media, you gotta look twice on some stuff. Like, huh?

speaker-0: Ahora se ya.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got a third leg. That's crazy. But like, but on that over that first glance, like I sent Ari a video. No, no, no. Ari sent me a video. Or her sister. We have a group with with the two or the three of us in there. Mm-hmm. And it was about like different like hacks, health hacks or whatever. And I'm watching it and I'm like, man, that's not true. That's not true. That's And by the the like the middle of the video, I'm I'm paying attention now. And then like his mouth is not moving the way, like if I was reading his lips, yeah, it's not syncing up. And so now I'm like, it's maybe the sound is a little off. And then he he says something, and like you can see teeth, but you can see his lip at the same time. I mean, man, this is AI. You're giving all this wrong information. It sounded good though, because it looked convincing. I'm like, this ain't even real, man. It's just like, what? Yes, AI, that's crazy. But it's getting good. If

speaker-0: It's getting real good.

speaker-1: you don't know better, they old people getting tricked. For sure.

speaker-0: for sure. You sending people Apple cards and it's just a little computer. It's it's over for y'all. It's over for y'all. I mean, sometimes it gets me. I'm not gonna lie. Because it might even be not even, you know, a real person, but it'll be like, I'm pretty sure you've seen those videos, y'all seen those videos where it's like, if you eat strawberries, strawberries will strengthen your immune system. And it'll be a big giant strawberry, you know, making you tougher. And I'm like, okay. So if I eat grapes. Grapes will make your balls swell big and you be like, eat grape. Okay, cool. No, man, no. It looks fly and it's just somebody talking in the background.

speaker-1: I think the worst ones are like the news ones. Right? Because those are very because there's so many news outlets, right? It's very easy to be like, it's just like it's not my local news, it's just the news from wherever. And then you like war breaks out in in Brooklyn. I'm like, damn, it's going crazy in Brooklyn. Never actually happened.

speaker-0: Yeah, man.

speaker-1: just never. I seen one the other day, and it wasn't AI, it's just just misleading information in general. It was like undiscovered places in in Southern California. And it was like a a waterfall and the w the it was the everything was all green and then at the bottom it was like telling you about it and then it says the location it was San Bernardino. I'm like, these mother If you don't know better, right? Like if you 'cause you hear California is this and that and you don't know better, like you'd be like, man.

speaker-0: Go to the waterfall.

speaker-1: Beautiful out there. Nah, Sam, you go to San Brandeo. Ain't gonna be no waterfalls. It might be some of them TLC waterfalls.

speaker-0: You know I'm saying? Don't be chasing the waterfalls

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: now. Out there getting skinny. Yeah. Man.

speaker-1: Yeah for sure. Like they don't saw you.

speaker-0: Shout out to words of that. Shout out to the IE. We love us. All right. We love us.

speaker-1: Yeah, shout out to the I.

speaker-0: Yeah, man. What we what's going on out there in these streets, man? What we what we got going on? Any you got anything out there?

speaker-1: I mean I d I think we do. You you have something that I I

speaker-0: You gotta load something, yeah.

speaker-1: think I think that might be that might be the meat and potatoes. I think

speaker-0: I bet.

speaker-1: there's a lot of a lot that that's there to unpack. Yeah. So let's do that.

speaker-0: All Let's get into it then, brother. All right, so y'all I was just on Twitter, you know what I'm saying, doing my Twitter thing. Do people still go on Twitter?

speaker-1: X. Put it together.

speaker-0: Listen man, there's Twitter over here, alright? so I I I seen a a post and I'll read it to y'all. Check this out. So this is from at Librecent. Men who are attracted to you don't have the ability to be a genuine friend to you. Patriarchal systemic programming doesn't allow them to be. For a man who is attracted to you, their kindness and care will always be performative due to a secret motive, the possibility of Of getting something from you. How you feeling, man? What what's what's what's your thoughts on that? Basically, you know, it's a lot of words going on, but someone is saying you can't be a friend, a platonic friend to a woman who's attractive or that you are attracted, attracted to because you're gonna always want a little something. So every time, hey, can you help me out? I'm moving, I got you. Cause you're sitting in the wing waiting for that day. But you get to get you a little some, some, some. That's what they're saying.

speaker-1: Yeah, listen, so we kind of have talked about this a little bit before. I think it's important to make the delineation between attractive and attracted. I think they're two different things. you know, we see attractive people all the time.

speaker-0: type.

speaker-1: But that doesn't necessarily mean you're attracted to them, right?

speaker-0: There's go one right there. I'm sorry.

speaker-1: Yeah, sorry. No, no, no. So so I know we we we see people who are attractive all the time. It doesn't mean you're automatically attracted to them, right? You can just admire somebody's beauty, you can comment on it, or you can just have an opinion about it, but it doesn't mean you're attracted to them. I'm assuming in this instance we're talking about a single man and a single woman, right? Like not a married man and like a single woman or some married woman. I'm just for the the context of part of this conversation. Okay. Right. I disagree because I have been friends with girls who I thought were attractive, that I was even attracted to, but I did not want to pursue anything past our friendship. One, because I valued our friendship, but two, because they was a little bit crazy. Right. Like I just, you know, I was I had gotten close enough to know that, like, yeah, you are terrible. You're not a good friend, but you're a terrible relationship person. and so I I think that. when you put the societal part on it and the patriarchy and yeah, you can kind of force it into a box and say, well, every man just wants to get with every woman that he thinks is attractive based on that parameter. But that's not the case. Like I think some dudes do have dick control and they're not just trying to slip the chicks. Like you can be around a girl who looks good because she's a good person. Mm-hmm. Right. Or she just you just we work together. We just have some things in common at work. We hang out. You know what I mean? It's it's she's she's we have some things in common. She's funny and I'm funny. That don't mean we gotta take it to the next level. Right. I don't have any interest in that. It's very possible to have that. I do think though, unfortunately, there are situations where you have that quote unquote platonic not quote unquote. You had that platonic friendship or relationship. And if the woman were to decide like, hey, he's now a viable candidate, that would get clouded, right? Because now the guy would be, I mean, she's my friend, she's nice, she's cool, like I like these things about her. Like she's already kind of winning in that regard. And now, now she wanna hook you wanna go on a date? Like it's it'd be hard for him. There it's it's not the other way around, right? Like it's it's hard for i a a man who's in the friend zone to flip it. But I don't think it's impossible. Like

speaker-0: Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: I I I lived it. It's not impossible. You know what I mean? I've been there before and and would I have done anything or no. Would I have pursued anything? Definitely not. You know what I mean? It wouldn't have come from me doing anything. Mm-hmm. When I when I was in my, you know, my twenties or whatever. Right. Single.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: I was, you know, I was I was mingling. So I probably would have just knocked him off. You know what I mean? Just because

speaker-0: Low.

speaker-1: Just because that's what you would do, like that's what a twenty year old does. I mean we're talking about grown people, like nah man, there's so many other things that go into life, like yeah, yeah, whatever for that. Mm-hmm. But then again, I've been with my wife twenty years, twenty-seven years or whatever. So I my my opinion on the single life, I don't know. I'm institutionalized, dog. What the hell y'all doing out there?

speaker-0: Don't even look up.

speaker-1: Right. Maybe y'all can't be friends. I don't know. Sh y'all gotta get y'all lives together. It's it might be saying more about you if you can't be friends with somebody because they look good. They gotta have ugly friends.

speaker-0: Right.

speaker-1: That's a problem.

speaker-0: And that that's I'm on the same page, man. I'm on the same page. I'm like, I think it's kind of crazy to think that, nah, she's too fine for me to be a friend, because I just want I want her at one point if I can, I can't. Who I don't mean, I'm sure there's men out there that think like that, but I I don't think like that. And I've had a lot of platonic friendships and not once has it. Have there ever been any kind of you know issue or situation where it was just like, yeah, well, you know what? Nah, man, because there's also boundaries that get set. And even for me as a kid, like being young, you know, in high school, even in junior high, I had platonic friends. Platonic-ish, I guess you could say. But yeah. But you know, a high school, and you know what I'm saying was. For sure platonic, and it's just like It's not I'm not it's not in the back of my head. I'm not waiting in the wing, just waiting for my for my chance. Like, I got the chance now. we at this party, everything's feeling right, and she says this, now it's on. Like, nah, man, that's weird to me. Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: I don't know, man. I'm trying to figure out why are we thought so less of as men. Like I've said it on the podcast before. I had a nice little word I made up with the the infantilization of men. You know what I'm saying? We've been infantilized that if a woman wears a tight dress, right? You go to church and you need whoa whoa whoa whoa, you can't be letting the pastor see you like this. Right, right. And

speaker-1: Right, 'cause he can't control himself. No, you can't do that.

speaker-0: Yeah, it's like he the is the pastor a grown man or not? Is he grown? No.

speaker-1: Yeah, that that is I wonder because cause I always think this about a lot of different things, right? Like if if the patriarchy and and men are, you know, we had control and we led things and rules were made by men and women had to follow them, and not until recently did things start to change. If the systems were set and created by men, then how are we? How are we the weak ones in this? Like, shouldn't we shouldn't we have created systems that make sense for us? Like it's it's always interesting to like be on this side of it now where it's like, man, we suck. Like you can't dress this way because we can't control ourselves. Like, that's do you think men had like the wherewithal? Like when they were creating these rules, be like, you know what, Mike? Listen, man, let's be real, dog. Like, if she were a dress, I'm just, you know.

speaker-0: Around me.

speaker-1: So listen, we let's just make sure that she don't wear the dress to cheer. Right.

speaker-0: Can't see the ankles, man.

speaker-1: Cause in the Lord's house I'm not gonna be able to control. You know, yeah, I'm a dog, man. Yeah. And then and then we make the rule.

speaker-0: Right.

speaker-1: Against ourselves. Like that just don't make sense. So it is I don't know where I don't understand it. I'm always trying to figure it out. And it it just is not just in this particular instance, but also on like different other societal things. I think so some some race related things where stuff is happening. Like, that just don't make sense. Like why would you

speaker-0: No sense.

speaker-1: why would you do it that way? But it is what it is. I think I think there are enough of us though, just being real, there's enough dudes that would not be able to control themselves, wouldn't be able to contain it. And so if one does it, and well let's shit let's wrap them all up in the bag because they all gonna do it. Yeah. Toss toss them away because one guy don't have self-control. And it's not just one guy. It's not one of those one bad apple police things, right? It's like that's a bunch of bad apples. It's

speaker-0: yeah, it's a gang of them.

speaker-1: a bunch of us, it's a bunch of spoiled, rotten, disgusting individuals. but yeah, to make such a blanket statement is kind of hard to do. It's

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: just not possible to have a platonic relationship because I'm always waiting for the moment when you s that's just that's a weird place to be man today might be you need me to

speaker-0: More

speaker-1: okay. Just sit on the couch like this.

speaker-0: What's happening? Yeah.

speaker-1: I'm wearing my gray sweatpants to help her move. Weird.

speaker-0: Day like this man. Come on, man. Come on man.

speaker-1: But we might be saying that from our position, right? Like we're we don't have everyone's perspective, right? We have our own as two men who've been married for a long time, who are committed to our relationships. And so I can't speak for that's what I say. I'm assuming that we're talking about single men and single women. but even then it's like I I don't know. I ain't been single in a long time, dog. I don't know what the hell I don't know. Why they even that like g get out. Get out. Get out, man. Find you somebody. Even if she's your friend and she's a try to find find you somebody and get out. It's crazy out there in them.

speaker-0: It's crazy in them streets. I was looking at a post, a young lady, and she was just working out. She couldn't jump rope inside the gym. They were like, you can't bring your own equipment in the gym. It's you know, something can happen and then we'll be liable. Yeah. Can you go outside? And she's like, all right, cool. So she's just trying to do her workout. She's jumping rope, and here comes a dude. Here comes a dude. you you go to the gym, you can't go inside? no, I just gotta work out and and you know, so I can't, you know, she went through the whole spill of why and everything. To make a long story short, he wasn't understanding that, hey, I'm just trying to work out.

speaker-1: Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: He's still trying hard to get at it.

speaker-1: Shoot or shoot, baby.

speaker-0: And he definitely could he not only shot, miss, shot, miss, shot, miss, he shot, miss, shot, miss, shot, miss, shot, miss, shot, miss. And I was like thinking to myself, like, damn, women have to go through some stuff. Yeah. I mean, I've been in situations where someone has talked to me and it's always a dude or something where I'm like, Okay, bro, we've talked enough and we don't know each other like that. So it's cool. Let me go ahead. I'm I'm running late and you wanna talk to me in this grocery store line or something about whatever crazy thing, right? Yeah. But because I'm being polite and you look at women, she had to be super polite. She had to be emotionally intelligent enough to not hurt this man's ego because it She doesn't know. Yeah, it could go left very quickly. You stupid. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. And you think you all of that? And she was good, man. She was good. And I'm like, dang, do I gotta train my baby girl to

speaker-1: Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: have that intelligence?

speaker-1: Weather, storms.

speaker-0: And just talk to a dude with this motherly, sweet cadence, even though you're like. Nigga, I'm trying to work out. Get away from me. Yeah. She's like, I'm I'm whole married, baby. But thank you so much. I appreciate it so much. you married? Okay, that's cool.

speaker-1: You had that problem. Right? He treat me shut up.

speaker-0: You right. Shut up, man. So I definitely do believe there are dudes out there like that, but I'm just like There's a there's a lot of brothers out there like us too that are single that understand boundaries and spaces and can be friends with somebody, can look at a woman as more as just a sexual peace to obtain and you know whatever and I'm saying there's some Renaissance brothers out there, man.

speaker-1: Somebody doing poetry smoking a hookah.

speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah. Come on.

speaker-1: Refined. He layers clothes. He wears glasses that circle the

speaker-0: Come on, man.

speaker-1: beard with the little twist mustache. One of them. Yeah, you

speaker-0: He still wear.

speaker-1: got the the beanie, like the the the navy beanie, but it's like way up here right above his knee.

speaker-0: Hey, they sneaky too, so y'all sis y'all watch out, all right?

speaker-1: He got natural gold brand.

speaker-0: yeah, he got the onk somewhere. You know what I'm saying?

speaker-1: Yeah, he's trouble.

speaker-0: Yeah, Grand Rising Queen. I just really thought it was a beautiful day and I wanted to let you know.

speaker-1: I seen you out here jump roping. I mean God's light shined on you and I just, you know, yeah, no.

speaker-0: Watch out.

speaker-1: Yeah, no, it's unfortunate though. because I think I think a lot can be learned by both sides, men and women, by having platonic relationships, especially when you're single. because we go at everything with the just a man's perspective, right? We only talk to our boys and our boys are single and they ignorant and we ignorant together. Right. We passing around ignorant ideas and then we go talk to women with those and we don't know how to really, you know, navigate relationships because we haven't been in a lot of success. You know what I mean? Like it if you could had a a a a female friend that you could bounce, hey, look, I'm taking so and so out on a date. This is what I'm thinking, like or this happened in our relationship. You gotta be careful about that, right? Because you can't do too much of that. you know, just the relationship sharing kind of thing because it becomes dangerous. Yep. but To be able to have the the insider perspective of the other side can be really helpful. but I don't know. I don't think I don't I think we can. I think it's possible. I don't think it happens often because people aren't disciplined enough to not make it a problem. Right. Like I've been in, I've been in a situation similar, I guess. Like, I don't know. I she was a girl that was a friend. She's a Attractive enough. You know what I mean? But it w we were just friends and then we hooked up one time and it was like, Yeah, we should just be friends. That was cool. I had a good time. You had a good time. But like, yeah, you just Yeah. It's not going no further than that.

speaker-0: Yeah, that was cool.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. Never happened again. Just you know, we cool. we probably more more friendly now than we were before, but yeah, you stay over there, I'm gonna stay over here.

speaker-0: Yeah was that a awkward situation after that happened? Like were you able to still come back to the friend?

speaker-1: Interestingly enough, no, it wasn't at all.

speaker-0: I'm okay with

speaker-1: It was just like I think it was a mutual understanding of like this wasn't this wasn't supposed to happen. It happened. All right. Let's

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: get back to

speaker-0: Get back to the front thing. Yeah, that's what I said.

speaker-1: I'm not trying to go no further with you. I ain't trying to go no further. We could just be friends and do all the same stuff without the relationship drama. Cool. Let's just do that. Go to the movie.

speaker-0: Can

speaker-1: Exactly. I think that's that's the problem though, is is we get so so tied into when it's when it's relationship, right? You're in a relationship and then you break up, you can't be friends because you're so tied into the relationship and the identity that you had in that relationship

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: is hard to break a f break away from. When your single, your identity, a lot of times, especially for young men, is a conqueror. Right. We was just watching, we were working out earlier today, and we had what is that show called? Perfect Match On. And on this episode, they had like all of the singles come hang out with the guy. The single girls got to hang out with the guy, single guys got to hang out with the girls separate from each other. And one of the single dudes is coming in and he's kind of, you know, doing this little interview or whatever, talking about himself and he was like, you know, your girl just looks better draped on me. And I was like, all right, what? Why? Why? Why is it so why are dudes so hellbent on trying to get somebody like what is the point in that? There's so many women out here in the world and your goal is to get some you hear the music all the time. You hear like taking somebody, Mr. Mr. Still your girl, why?

speaker-0: I love your girl.

speaker-1: Why? There's so many women out there that are unaccounted for. go out there and get one of them. Like, why are you wasting your time? Because you know if she's going to choose you and she's already in that relationship, she's gonna do that to you too. Sure. As soon as the next dude come by that got something a little better than you do. So why is that the thing that you're shooting for? Just to be like, I took your and then you might have to fight me. You know what I'm saying? Like there's a whole bunch of other things that come with that. It's not that cool.

speaker-0: Just nah, man.

speaker-1: I never understood it. Like it's not necessary. There's too many girls out here. Too many women. Grow on man game, man.

speaker-0: Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on. Let me that's a song right there. Too many women.

speaker-1: It's too many women. Why you over here? There's so many O's in here.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: Like just go go out and find your own.

speaker-0: it's so easy, man.

speaker-1: No matter how what you think about that that young lady, no matter what you think about how she looks or how she is in the relationship with him, she might be amazing with him. Let her be amazing with him. Mm-hmm. There's another one. I'm telling you. It's like clockwork, like the buses, the city bus. They come around.

speaker-0: Come,

speaker-1: And if you stay vigilant and you just stay out there, you're gonna catch you one. You ain't gotta go find his women do that too, though. Women don't want a man, they won't they well, who is that? They don't want a man, they want your man.

speaker-0: Yeah. Right? This is real. I lived it. And it was with a platonic friend. We weren't that close, though. But we were she was a friend of a friend and it was

speaker-1: Look, you've shown that you're a good man, you're a good husband, you treat her well, heard good things about you. I don't want to go out there and mess with them and and maybe find somebody. Let me get you. We both do it. I guess both sexes do it. We just do it differently and for different reasons. I still don't understand that getting somebody else's girl, though.

speaker-0: I mean corny. Yeah, it's super corny, man. It's super corny. And I always kinda no disrespect to, you know, any of these stars and all this and that, but you see like the same couple of women dating all these different famous dudes, and they're just like, I don't understand. I don't understand, man. Yeah, I don't know. You know.

speaker-1: She mu she got something special, man.

speaker-0: You something special.

speaker-1: She got the boon doom, Nina, painter, and this Anna Maria, right? She put it put it on them.

speaker-0: She got that fourteen ninety-two. Yeah. Mix it with that seventeen thirty-eight.

speaker-1: You know what I used to say, like and this is really the only one I've ever said is about there's like women that have been with multiple people, celebrities. Erica Badu is I think she's amuse.

speaker-0: Mm.

speaker-1: Cause you look at the careers of the dudes that she was with and the like how they how after their relationship ended, they don't have any they they ended them amicably. They like each other still, she likes him, he like her. They you know what I mean? The relationship is they still friends afterwards. Her and and and you know, three stacks is raising their kid, you know. You don't hear her ever say anything bad about him, he don't say nothing bad about her. And obviously you saw his career kind of take off as a solo artist after their relationship. Common. You know what I mean? Like she's just in relationships making people better. Like, yo, let me get in music and shit and things ain't going well. Eric at relationship popping. Right?

speaker-0: Where Eric Let's see what we can figure out. Can't look her in the eyes though, 'cause then it's it's over. That's

speaker-1: Yeah. Turn to a pillar of salt.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. America, no. But then you have like Lori Lori Har Laurie Harvey, is that her name? Steve Harvey daughter. Bunch people.

speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah.

speaker-1: Nobody life really, you know. She ain't amuse. She just like she just likes certain things. She like she's like a qu a certain caliber of man, right? And certain caliber of men like women who like a certain caliber. Like, you know.

speaker-0: Well wait a minute now. You know what I'm saying? What about Michael B. Jordan? Didn't they date?

speaker-1: What about? They did.

speaker-0: My man is out here, you know, he was doing well before. Yeah. But but but

speaker-1: She ain't had nothing to do with that. Who else she did? She did a future. Is she a future? Future. Yeah, maybe. You might be on something. Might be on something.

speaker-0: come on. Come on.

speaker-1: Who else she dated? I don't know. I don't really be keeping up with that y'all.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: I only know about, you know, Michael B. Jordan and Steve Harvey because of Steve Harvey. I mean Steve Harvey, future, because of Steve Harvey. But you know. But they ain't friends though.

speaker-0: thank you.

speaker-1: You know. they go back and be like, what up Lori, everything cool and then you hang out, like everything is cool. Mike seemed like he was hurt after they broke. He was he was down tri Yeah, you you you're doing you doing

speaker-0: Yeah, he looked like he was hurt. You good, Mike. You doing well, man.

speaker-1: doing your thing. I still don't, you know.

speaker-0: Stop hating, man. We good.

speaker-1: Just leave it right there.

speaker-0: Congratulations, Mike. Yeah. Keep going, man. Yeah.

speaker-1: Keep getting better, brother. You know this room.

speaker-0: Thomas Crown Fair, you know.

speaker-1: Yes, yeah, it's gonna be just like every other movie.

speaker-0: You know, we were doing so well, man. He's yeah, he's right, Mike. Good,

speaker-1: He's a good actor, man. I like him. Like him. He's good.

speaker-0: good. Let's leave it. Let's stop, stop, stop. You know, What was I about to ask? so us having daughters, you know, we over here on this show, we talking, you know, like, hey man, you know, you can you can have a platonic friend, it don't gotta be crazy. What if what if the babies bring home their little platonic friend?

speaker-1: Bring home.

speaker-0: Bring home like, this is it's gotta it's gotta be like right now. At the age

speaker-1: A

speaker-0: they're at. They're like, This is my friend

speaker-1: So for my fourteen year old Jermaine has a fourteen year old friend named Jermaine.

speaker-0: Jermaine, you can't they I like you J. Cole, but most Jermaines, man, you gotta watch out. All right. Jermaine, Rashawn,

speaker-1: Keep

speaker-0: you know what I'm saying? They, you know what I'm saying? They a little too smooth, man.

speaker-1: She don't go to a school with a whole lot of Germans or T-Shine. It's gonna be like a Jaden or a Something with a Den on the end of it. Jaden, Caden, something like Braden.

speaker-0: Braden saw Brayden coming over, like dad, my bestie Braden's coming over. We're just gonna go swimming and just hang out and you know. Yeah.

speaker-1: I mean, yeah, cool. I'm watching him like a hawk though.

speaker-0: Mm. Okay. Just making sure everyone say

speaker-1: Not because they're not because they can't have a pl platonic relationship, but because I know the inner workings and internal turmoil of a teenage boy. Mm-hmm. Right? Like a teenage boy, I don't expect to have control. A teenage boy, I don't expect to understand his own emotions and feelings and be responsible enough to say no and not do what he you know, do what his urges are telling him to do.

speaker-0: Okay. Okay.

speaker-1: A grown man. I feel like you should at a certain point, right? Under 25, you probably don't. You just you still you're still mature in your brain and still develop

speaker-0: Stealing.

speaker-1: you don't have the ability just yet to and not I'm not excusing it, but you don't, you know, you're still succumbed to your urges when you're young. As

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: you get older, 25 plus, you're 30, you know, you're you're any anywhere in your thirties and forties, like dog.

speaker-0: You you come on, man.

speaker-1: At that point, like if you don't have control, you you need to go ahead and sit down somewhere. You know, you need to go to the mosque or something. Like to go somewhere and get your life together. Gotta get right with God because that's only gonna lead to trouble, right? But if she does bring home little little Jermaine or Braden or Keyshawn, first of all, she would have to ask first. So it ain't no just bringing him and you know. But I guess I would be okay with it

speaker-0: Mm, okay.

speaker-1: when she's 16. We gotta get some age and money. We gotta have some more conversations. You gotta get a little more experience and understanding

speaker-0: Keith is her friend.

speaker-1: He is, he is, and he should stay at his house.

speaker-0: Keith just wanna help study and play. no, man. come on, man.

speaker-1: No, yeah, that's what FaceTime is for. That's the beauty of FaceTime though. They don't have to come over no more. Yeah,

speaker-0: Yeah, yeah.

speaker-1: there you go, technology. That's what I'm talking about. Keep them kids separate. Stay at your house. In your room, away from my house and them rooms. But no, if she if that happened though, like it would be some, you know, you gotta sit in the living room. And that's gonna be her thing always, right? Like you ain't y'all not going in your room. You don't need no privacy. Whatever you're talking about can be talked about in front of

speaker-0: Doesn't like girls, I don't care.

speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, no believe that. Mm-hmm.

speaker-0: Mm. These little kids is out here, they do They like everything. Yeah, so yeah, no, I'm at

speaker-1: Keith has a boyfriend. I don't care about that. Keith is still a boy. And

speaker-0: Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: he your friend, y'all on the couch.

speaker-0: On the couch.

speaker-1: Sorry. It just is what it is. Like it's not personal. I don't it it could be, but it ain't personal.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm.

speaker-1: Could be Keith, could be Troy, could be, you know, could be anybody. Y'all got to sit on the couch

speaker-0: On the couch.

speaker-1: out in the open where everybody can see you. You sit over here.

speaker-0: Play Uno in the living room.

speaker-1: Put that pillow between y'all. You give yourself some space. Sit on your own cushion. Y'all need to be touching elbows.

speaker-0: Just my friend Dad, my God.

speaker-1: I respect it. Uh-huh. Cool. Y'all stay friends. This is how you stay friends. Stay away from each other.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm. You stay alive too.

speaker-1: Yeah. You like him, right? All right. Cool. You don't want to see him in in a suitcase in the bottom of the river? Yeah.

speaker-0: Keep healthy, man.

speaker-1: But yeah, that that's kinda where I'm at. What you similarly or

speaker-0: Yeah, yeah, very similarly. Like, you know what I'm saying? this is grown man game, not teenage boy game. So the game for you as a grown man and for me and for all of us is you can be frontonic very easily. You know what I'm saying? Y'all can sit in your yo big apartment and talk about taking trips together and going to the movies, but my baby No, you can sit in a living room and you can play Uno in the living room. You can study right there in the living room. Mhm.

speaker-1: Yeah, the dining table.

speaker-0: And yeah.

speaker-1: Wherever there's an open floor plan, that's where y'all can be. We

speaker-0: That's where you can stay in the open areas.

speaker-1: got more than two walls in that room. You got to go somewhere else. I'm sorry. Like if there's a third wall and I can't see around the corner, nah, I'm sorry.

speaker-0: We're gonna go to the park, Dad, and just probably just like no, no, no.

speaker-1: been to the park. Mm-hmm. You don't never want to go to the park.

speaker-0: All of a sudden, huh?

speaker-1: No, you never want to go to the park. I've been trying to get you to go to the park for years. You don't want to go to the park? Swing? So what y'all finna do at the park? No, we

speaker-0: No, no.

speaker-1: just gonna talk. Talk here. Just make

speaker-0: My friend, my god, you're so my god!

speaker-1: If you can't say it in front of us, then it probably don't need to be said. I'm sorry. It's unfortunate. It's unfortunate. You know, I feel for you. Someday,

speaker-0: Yeah, I'm sorry.

speaker-1: you know, someday you'll overcome. And one day you'll have your own place where you pay the bills and you can make the rules. But until then, sit your ass

speaker-0: Situal style.

speaker-1: down. Nah, but yeah, so I yes, it can be platonic. Is it hard?

speaker-0: Yes.

speaker-1: Yes. Is it is it the norm? Probably not. because most people are looking for something in someone. And so when you have somebody that you're attracted to, you're probably more likely to pursue it unless you have some control, which a lot of us are lacking. It's a you know, it's it's it's it's a it's a self-perpetuating cycle.

speaker-0: Yeah.

speaker-1: Yeah, I don't know. Like I said, I agree. I agree. I see I sorry, I disagree, but I see where the comment is coming from. And I see where if if I were a woman or I went in that woman's shoes, I could see why she I I'm assuming it's a woman. Could be a man, whoever. If if I'm saying if it was a woman, I could see why a woman would would think that. And also I could see why a man would say that. It's like, man, I can't be her friend. Every time I see her, I'm like, yo, yeah, okay, all right, I got it. But I don't mean you gotta act on it, 'cause at some point you are going to become a a you're gonna put a husband or whatever, you'll be in a relationship. You can't just be acting on everything you say. You

speaker-0: Nah man.

speaker-1: can't be like, man, ooh man.

speaker-0: So sorry. Now we sound like what's up, boy, with the podcast. He used to play for the I think he played for the Panthers, wide receiver. I think he no, he was a quarterback. Yeah,

speaker-1: Yeah, can

speaker-0: yeah. I can't have any women around me. 'Cause that's I'm a man.

speaker-1: Yeah, I saw I saw him talking about that. I was like, Yeah, that's kinda

speaker-0: That's very interesting, brother.

speaker-1: You mean he got multiple multiple women, multiple kids, and so maybe he knows himself better than I do.

speaker-0: I mean, maybe. Or maybe you need to get at that infantile stage

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: and step your game up. Yeah. And just 'cause you can go around your cousins all day. If someone you don't know, and she's so super fine, but you find out, we cousins, did you know we got you're not gonna be like, I mean, I know we cousins, but you know, you can't really be around. No, you know.

speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. It's that simple.

speaker-0: Third, fourth, fifth cut.

speaker-1: It's that simple. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a really good point. Yeah. This is an excuse.

speaker-0: Yeah, it's a good excuse though. I'm not I'll give it to him. It's a good excuse. I know myself.

speaker-1: I know myself. You know you have no self-control. Like you know you're gonna violate that woman's space? Like come on.

speaker-0: You were a professional athlete that had to change your body and train your body when you were a child up into manhood, sculpt yourself thousands of hours, and you gonna tell me that you don't got the discipline to be around certain people because attraction. Okay, brother, man, you got

speaker-1: Yeah, that's crazy. Like especially as a quarterback, too, right? Like you don't have the discipline to not throw to the receiver that's covered. You know what I mean? Like you definitely had the discipline. You just are choosing not to use it or not to exercise it and using the excuse of manhood, which does us all a disservice.

speaker-0: It does us all a disservice. Cheer man, let's get up on out of here. Yeah, let's You do the thing, man. You're good at it, brother.

speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. Listen, thank you guys for joining

speaker-0: Try

speaker-1: us. Certainly appreciate it. Anytime anyone takes some time to listen to the podcast, I certainly appreciate it. Listen, if you've been listening to the podcast, you made it to this point, do us a favor. Like, share, subscribe. Let somebody know. Tell a friend to tell a friend, and we can be friends. No ditty. that's fine. Yeah, yeah, right. but yeah, share, share the podcast. It goes a long way. Like and subscribe and all that stuff. if you got something that you want us to cover to talk about, hear our perspective on it, or even bring it up, go ahead and shoot us an email. you can find us at the grown man game pod, podcast at gmail.com, on Instagram, the grown man game pod. yeah, or you can find Big Mike.

speaker-0: Mm-hmm. Maybe nice mic on the IGs and we got a TikTok coming soon. And what did I say earlier? Facebook coming soon. Yeah.

speaker-1: So I'll send all your complaints to maybe nice mic. you heard something you didn't like, maybe nice mic.

speaker-0: Y'all sure did last time when I told you about the cell phone. Yeah.

speaker-1: and then you can find me at For Fit Fatherhood, the number four Fit Fatherhood. Last thing, shout out to I think you already did yours, right? Shout out to One Love IE for the dope hat and shout out to the dad unit. again, we'll drop the links in there.

speaker-0: D- dad, you net!

speaker-1: Grab one of those, let them know we sent you, and it might save you a little coin. Right? All right, that's it, fellas. See you next time.

speaker-0: Meg, meg. GMG