#115 Logical Fallacies and Life Update

0 (0s): Women have always worked. We just used to work the farms and we used to work with our whole family, including our husbands. We're not clapping for straight people. I just, I don't think your sexuality should be your entire identity. People are putting, you know, free Palestine all over it. She is the daughter of two Holocaust survivors. What are you doing? Like what are you actually doing? You say no self-respecting man would be with a woman that's out earning him and wants to retire him. I think that's a little bit silly. We had men that were the main providers for a long time that didn't work. So in order to protect our sanity online, here are the top 10 logical fallacies. 0 (48s): Hello everybody. It has been a minute. I'm really excited to be back and I think it all worked out how it was supposed to. I was really stressing out that I hadn't uploaded a new recording and then there was tech issues and there was a ton of travel and a lot of stuff going on in my personal life. And I decided to practice what I always preach, which is the art of surrender. And just knowing that it would all work out and when it was time for me to come back, it would be time for me to come back and not to try to control what I cannot control. So long way of saying I'm excited to be here, thank you for joining in and if you are new, this is the chatting with Candace podcast and I am the host Candace Warbeck. 0 (1m 32s): Before we jump in, if we wanna do something that will help the podcast, this little train that could hit that like and subscribe button, it helps the algorithms make sure that you don't miss an episode. Especially because I'm not in a place where I'm updating every single week on the dot and that is okay. I think obviously doing your best should be the standard, but when you have two small kids and you're trying to prioritize momming, it makes other things a lot harder. So we're back and we have so many updates. This is gonna be a solo cast and next week we have a very incredible episode coming and it is in person. 0 (2m 17s): I actually haven't recorded it yet and I have to do so much research 'cause it's a very intense subject. It's going to be on the business of religion. Really excited to do it. And anytime that I can do an in-person podcast, I think the connection is just, it's in incomparable to these zoom ones. So I'm very excited for that. And hopefully you will tune in. I think it's gonna be amazing. But this one is gonna be more of a life update. Some stuff that I've learned this week that honestly everything falls into place perfectly. You just gotta look. We went to a retreat, I went to part of a retreat and we were in California for 10 days. 0 (3m 3s): I left the retreat early and one theme that kept repeating to me throughout it when we'd break off into groups and try to, you know, discuss thoughts and concepts and what we were learning and the theme of the retreat was supposed to be love self-love, love for life, all of this. And I just felt, what I kept hearing in my intuition and my thoughts were to trust myself more. And how often I automatically assume that someone else's right and I'm wrong or I minimize my no. Like my knowing my nosis, my body's beautiful design. 0 (3m 46s): And you know, I think hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, I think that doesn't go without information. And we get stuck in this place of inte, like over intellectualizing things instead of feeling things, some of us, me, that's what what I do. And I was like, I have to really listen to my body more. I have to trust myself more and be able to distinguish between like what is like fear and anxiety and then what's like more of a gut feeling. And sometimes those things are in tandem, so it's hard to differentiate. And the only way I've found is through introspection, meditation, talking to people that you really trust, that you feel are a few steps further down the path than you are. 0 (4m 30s): But I, it's my second time going to one of those retreats and I just, I didn't like how it felt. I didn't like how I felt in the space. And I think your body needs to be a full body. Yes, when you do anything that's psychedelic based and if there's any no hesitation, something feels off, I think you need to listen to that. And when you get into those spaces, you are very susceptible to everything around you, all of the people around you. So I think if your body's telling you a no, it's a no. And that's a difference between being nervous and still doing it anyways. 'cause when I have done them in the past, I still, I would get nervous like, like I'm like I'm, I was talking to my shaman the other day about it 'cause it was like a really overwhelming choice to not go 'cause Eric decided to go and like we're both kind of learning from that experience. 0 (5m 21s): But when I worked with him I was so scared, but I was also very excited and open and it was still a yes. My body was still a yes even though I was anxious and being able to hone in on that and remember that I was like, these are not the same feelings. My body is telling me something different right now and I'm gonna honor that and I'm the only person that knows myself as thoroughly as I possibly can in this moment. And I had to listen to that. So this theme is carried on over the past like few weeks and we will definitely get into that. And then also sidestep obviously no makeup. 0 (6m 4s): I just got outta the shower, I did pickleball today and I am gonna be, I found myself a new hobby. It was amazing. I did private lessons with one of my girlfriends and it's addicting. I get it. I get why it's like the fastest growing sport in America. So soon as I log off of here I'm gonna be ordering a racket. And that felt really good to kind of just like get out and use my body and try to like work out some stress 'cause it's been a really, really, really, really hard past couple of days. And so that is my silver lining. My happy note for this episode is when you are overwhelmed and stressed and your body is like in a constant state of fight or flight, that movement is paramount. 0 (6m 45s): You just have to move and sweat and get to a place where you're heavy breathing. I think that is a really good way to kind of ground yourself. Where to go from here because there's a couple things I wanted to talk about. I'm in this women's group and we had some homework and I wanted to go over that 'cause I found it perfect, like I needed, it was perfect timing. We just wrapped shooting, canceled weekly and we were talking about some of the concepts and the overlap was just hysterical for me. And I wanted to get into some masculine feminine energies, you know, how much I love that and some critiques that I'm discovering in this space, even like from long held beliefs that I've had. And I'm just trying to get to first principles and like really steel man both sides and figure out where I, I believe the ideals for those dynamics to be instead of just kind of hearing something that sounds good and going along with that, like really taking the time to examine it. 0 (7m 47s): I think that's all of our responsibility as critical thinkers. So oh and I went to an Esther Perel talk and we'll get into that. That was also interesting. So let's just start with the homework. So again, I'm in this women's group and it is amazing and I am learning so much. The book recommendations are always 10 out 10 and this each month kind of has a theme. And this one is not necessarily on debate, but basically like really conscious conversations and kind of debate. Like being able to hold a conversation with someone with an opposing view, have yourself centered, have your I ideas really well thought out. And then a lot of trip wire that everyone can kind of succumb to. 0 (8m 31s): So one of the homework assignments was to go over the top 10 logical fallacies when making an argument and oh my gosh, I loved this exercise so much because I think we'll all find a spot where we're like, Ooh, I do that. Ooh, I've done that. Or that's like my, that is my personal trap. And then there's ones that get used against us all the time and being able to have a hard definition for it and then see how ridiculous it is if that's constantly thrown at you. For me, it made it a lot easier to take insults and attacks online because I'm like, this is not a serious person, this isn't someone I should take seriously because they're literally using the number one logical fallacy at me every single time. 0 (9m 17s): And that's not someone I should waste any amount of energy on and neither should you. So in order to protect our sanity online and be able to understand the free independent critical thinkers, someone who is putting in the work versus an NPC, here are the top 10 logical fallacies. Number one I love so much because it is the one that is used against me every second of the day. Just go into the comment section and it'll be right there for you. Add hominem, attacking the person, making the argument rather than addressing the argument itself. You can't trust her opinion. She's a whore. Sound familiar? 0 (9m 57s): You can't trust her opinion on climate change because she's not a scientist. It's just like it's minimizing the person for whatever reason that you justify instead of actually looking at the argument itself. And it's just lazy. It's lazy and there's no way to argue with someone that's doing that because they have put you in this box and anything that you say they're just gonna keep trying to shove you into it. So that is not someone to take seriously. Move on. Don't waste your energy on on people that aren't awake. Number two, straw man. Misrepresenting or exaggerating someone else's argument to make it easier to attack. An example would be opponents of the healthcare bill want to le want to leave sick people to die. 0 (10m 40s): So you see that a lot in politics. A really good straw man example, I think it was on the Bill Maher show, it was with Sam Harris and Ben Affleck. Highly recommend, I think that is a prime example of a strawman argument and it will pop right up if you search for it. Number three, false cause post hawk ergo prompter hawk. Assuming that because one event followed another, it was caused by the first event. Example, I wore my lucky socks and my team won, therefore my lucky socks caused us to win. I think yeah, that could be like magical thinking as well. 0 (11m 20s): Number four is appeal to authority. We saw this everywhere. 2020 we, I mean it's still available in mass amounts online, but so appeal to authority is asserting that a claim is true because an authority figure believes it to be the CEO said we should support this initiative so it must be a good idea. So it's putting in my opinion, way too much weight on quote credentials and titles. And again, instead of looking at the actual argument, the proposition, the legislation, whatever the idea is, so like look at the idea and not the person that's saying the idea because I think it's really easy to dismiss someone as not a not an expert. 0 (12m 6s): So now we shouldn't listen to 'em. And I think that's nonsense 'cause the experts have been proven to be wrong time and time and time again and the internet is forever. So I'm sure there are plenty of examples that we can all look up. Number six, false dichotomy. Presenting only two options or outcomes when in reality there are more. Either we ban all cars or the planet will be destroyed by pollution. Now this is one that I tend to personally go into because I get very emotional and passionate on certain subjects and in that I lose clarity. And someone that I look to a lot when they do podcasts is Mark Andreesen. I think he is a master at presenting third options, the third rail. 0 (12m 50s): Like what is something that no one else is seeing that could be a solution to this thing. Or if for example you see two bad outcomes and you're like, well this, this shouldn't be okay, he's like, he'll present an idea that's like, well maybe this is actually better than what's gonna come in and replace the thing. So I feel like he is a really great example of someone who is always seeing a third perspective. And that's something that I have to consciously work on a lot because I can get stuck into the trap of this or that or this false dichotomy. Number seven is circular reasoning. And this I get so frustrated when this is used on me because there's nowhere to go. They leave you nowhere to go. So circular reasoning is restating the argument rather than proving evidence to support it. 0 (13m 31s): The Bible is true because it is the word of God and we know that the word of God, it's the word of God because the bi, it says so in the Bible or when someone's like because and they end a sentence with because. And you'll be like, well why? Because, because, and there's nowhere to go. You just like round and round we go. And that's really frustrating. So I think when you see that as well, it's just to exit the conversation because that person is not, they're not interested in in engaging in like a really honest way or a nuanced way. Number eight is appeal to emotion. Manipulating emotions to win an argument rather than using logic or evidence. If we don't pass this law, think of all the children who will suffer. 0 (14m 12s): Does that sound familiar? Even that example number nine, red herring introduce irrelevant information to divert attention away from the main issue. Yes, I know I was caught cheating on the test, but look how hard I've been studying lately. And you're like, wait, that's not what we're talking about. 10 hasty generalization again, I love this one. Drawing a con, a Conclusion based on a small or unrepresentative sample, I met two rude people from that country. 0 (14m 52s): So everyone from that country must be rude. And I think that as tribal creatures, this is probably very easy for a lot of us to go into if we're not consciously present. And it's to create pejoratives around things, to put people into buckets because it's much easier if I can have this kind of simplified version of who you are and what you must be like rather than take the time and energy to experience you or your idea as an an individual or as something new and remaining open to it, but also still critical, right? So you can be open to something and still assess it. But I think once you close off, once you close yourself off, it's like you're not, you're not able to see anything honestly. 0 (15m 39s): Like you're seeing it through kind of distorted glass. Next we had the Esther Perel talk. Now I love her content online. I think that she approaches relationships in a very nuanced and modern way, and maybe modern's the wrong word, but it feels modern, it feels updated and less, 2 (16m 4s): Oh 0 (16m 5s): This switched it. There's also one of the main logical fallacies and this kind of ties back into it and it, it's the appeal tra to tradition. And it's the idea that because we have always done something one way that that's the best way to do it and the way that we have to continue to do it. And what I've learned from reading books that I thought I would hate, like I've gotten some of these books, I'm like, oh, this is gonna be way too, like left-leaning or way too feminist or whatever the thing is. And then I'm like, no, don't make assumptions, just read the book. You got it for a reason and and have it sharpen your own ideas if anything, if you don't agree with it. And what I've learned in reading like both sides of, I guess the feminist movement, I just lost my train of thought, oh my gosh, is that there's there, the idea of tradition is kind of bogus in a sense. 0 (16m 59s): What we think has always been the way has always been this constant evolution with society and the world around us. So even though we'll talk about the nuclear family or we'll talk about women working, women have always worked. We just used to work the farms and we used to work with our whole family, including our husbands. So tradition is really just like a quick snapshot of where humans were in that time. And I think it's important to carry on what works for us, what has value, and then also not be scared, not be scared of progress or change, right? Upward momentum. I don't think that's a bad thing either. So I think you have the balance of conservation conservatism and progress progressivism and these two things kind of check each other constantly. 0 (17m 45s): And I think different parts of different passages of time require different Levels of assertion we'll say. So sometimes maybe you need to be hitting the brake and sometimes you need to be hitting the gas. And I think it's not being personally identified with either or, it's just recognizing what the moment calls for and then also what's authentic for you. So back to the Esther Perel talk, I was excited again, I really like her content online. I think that she presents a lot of ideas that are really provocative and new and also kind of third rail, like it's not this or that you can consciously craft your relationship and we see a lot of cheating. 0 (18m 28s): What does cheating mean? And what do you, how do you practice forgiveness in a relationship? And what do you want your relationship to look like? It doesn't have to be this leave it to beaver model. And she does a lot of this without judgment. We went in New York, so the Show is in the city. And I think that that should have probably been a little bit telling as far as like the audience that was going to be there. I felt like there were a lot of really angry people. I think there was a lot of politics, not from her, but the crowd. I mean, one, it was a love workshop and one of the things, it was like a relationship question on the board. And people went and signed and answered and put up their own, their own questions. 0 (19m 12s): And someone, people are putting, you know, free Palestine all over it. She is the daughter of two Holocaust survivors. What are you doing? Like what are you actually doing? And I just found that to be wildly inappropriate and I wish that, you know, that wouldn't have been allowed in the space. It was kind of short. I feel like there was one hour of her kind of lecturing and then including some of her stories from where do we begin that podcast? You would hear a couple talk and then she would kind of give some feedback and it was back and forth like that. And then she opened it up to question, question questions, which I feel most people did a pretty bad job at. Again, like a couple people made it really political. 0 (19m 53s): A lot of other people just wanted to be clapped for being part of the alphabet soup. And it's like I'm, we're not clapping for straight people. I just, I don't think your sexuality should be your entire identity. You know, there's, and no, no serious person is judging you for who you love or how you dress as long as you're not hurting anyone else, right? The non-violence principle, I think we live in a pretty great time, a pretty accepting time. So I think we need to stop with what Bill Mark calls these zombie lies. And it's these ideas that we're still living in the past where these things might have been true or absolutely were true in the past, but they're no longer so true now. And it's not to say that certain things haven't gotten ex gone extinct, but they're certainly on life support. 0 (20m 38s): So let's just keep up with where we're at instead of our entire personality is, you know, who you are attracted to. I think that's kind of silly. Let's start with the masculine and feminine rules. So I was just on a my women's call and they had this guest speaker, and I guess she's a femininity coach, so she's teaching women how to be more in their divine feminine or their feminine energy. And that's a subject I have been fascinated with the last couple of years. And I actually, I'm trying to book like this guy that's very big in this space right now. What I see and what I have been guilty of is siding entirely with men on this because the other, the flaws of the feminine are so glaringly obvious to me because that was me. 0 (21m 32s): Like I was this, this woman that was kind of stuck in her masculine and do, do, do. And I don't need anybody and I'm gonna be my own protector and my own provider and not allowing space for a man because it was scary for me. And that negatively affected my relationships for a long time. And it's something I actively have to be conscious of because it has been a pattern for so long of my in my life that it's very easy for me to slip right back into it. Now that being said, I think it's also very dangerous when we, we make it so what, like we make it into such a trope. 0 (22m 17s): It's like you have to be the trad wife and if you're gonna be feminine and you have to be the breadwinner, if you're gonna be the masculine. And I think that we have to be able to redefine a lot of these words to make them more modern because we had men that were the main providers for a long time that didn't work, it didn't work. The men were miserable. They had no sense of real meaning. It wasn't a conscious purpose, like it wasn't a conscious purpose driven life. It was like, I'm just gonna go show up clock in nine to five, get home at six, see my kids and my family for an hour, go to bed, rinse and repeat. And these men were miserable. 0 (22m 58s): The women didn't feel like they had a real romantic, intimate connection. They were just there to kind of get things done. Another thing I see in this space is using evolutionary biology to explain away everything or to say, well this is what a lion does, so this is what you should do. Well, not a lion, first of all. Second of all, a lioness is certainly not meek. She's not making cookies. She's out there providing, essentially, yes, the lion's, the protect her sometimes, but I've also seen plenty of eclipse where the lioness or the group of lioness would protect the lion. It's a much more like even playing field than probably a lot of other species. 0 (23m 41s): And again, I'm not a fricking lion, but I think that there are lessons that we can learn from, from nature. It's not to dismiss it entirely because we are part of it, but it's almost dismissing free will. It's almost dismissing accountability and saying, what do I want from me and what do I not want from me? And again, I think it comes down to making these decisions consciously instead of falling into programming and hundreds of thousands of years of programming. I think it's lazy at the end of the day. So yes, it's useful, you can know, you know your tendencies as a homo sapien, but also you have a big beautiful brain and you can override most of the things if you choose to. It's not gonna be easy, but you can, it's possible. 0 (24m 22s): So if you get stuck in this place where you say no self-respecting man would be with a woman that's out earning him and wants to retire him, I think that's a little bit silly because if it's a conversation, maybe the woman is a high earner and it doesn't mean she gets to treat him like shit or hold that over his head or say, why don't you make more like she and I don't respect you as a man, that's also a problem. But if they can approach it as partners and look at it strategically and you only need one person to work in, it just so happens she's the one that's out earning, then the kids still have a parent at home with them, and that's better than daycare. 0 (25m 2s): That's better than sending them off to pre-K if you don't have to is to having, you know, a stay at home parent. I don't think it has to be the mom. I think that's usually what happens. But you find what works in your relationship. And I don't think that you should have anyone saying like, this is the only way for men and this is the only path for women. I think that that becomes a trap because we all have these different archetypes that kind of are our neutral, and then we, our gears are a little bit different. So, you know, for me, anger is probably a place that I shift into very quickly, and so as being a little bit domineering, but that doesn't necessarily mean masculine. And the more that I've learned about Jung and psychology and Jung and archetypes, you have the mother archetype, which is one of the most, well-known archetypes for women. 0 (25m 50s): And we immediately think of Gaia, the earth mother, nature, nurturing, caring, abundance, life giving, and all of these things are true, but there is also this side that is fiercely protective, especially of those that she cares about and her young. And it's both of those things. And the feminine can be fierce and powerful and violent. I mean, look at hurricanes, look at earthquakes. Like there's this polarity that exists within all of us. And I think when we go to ex extinguish the masculine entirely, we're dishonoring ourself. And I think for the man, for the male, if you're seeking to abolish the femininity within you, I think you're doing yourself a massive disservice, especially if you wanna have kids and have a, an an intimate relationship where love is important, because that is the healthy masculine is the lover, is one of the male archetypes. 0 (26m 43s): He's a deep feeler. He's also a creative. And I think it's integrating all of these things and honoring who you are. So not everyone is going to be the warrior. There's gonna be people that are the magician or the the lover or the king. And it's the same with with the feminine. I don't think that everyone is going to be the mother archetype or the siren. It's a, it's a blending of all of them. How do I integrate them? So when I'm on a specific field of play, I can evoke the best parts of myself that mimic that archetype, but I'm still this thing and I'm never going to be a meek woman. 0 (27m 24s): That's not who I am. Now, is there a way to be a strong feminine, a powerful feminine without emasculating or castrating the male? Absolutely. And I think a lot of that is in delivery, but there's this verse in the Bible and it says, choose a wife that you want to go to war with or that you would go to war with. And that is so powerful because that's not a weak woman. That is a woman that will help you. She's gonna go side by side with you. You aren't gonna endanger yourself or have to worry about her because she can hold her own. She's a true partner. And I don't know a lot of men that want to worry about the, one of the, again, another young and female archetype is the damsel. 0 (28m 11s): Like, do you constantly wanna have to be saving someone? That sounds exhausting. Exhausting. And I don't think that that's really a healthy dynamic either, unless that's what you want and that provides some sense of purpose for you. But I'm never gonna be the damn soul. It's just not, it's not in me. I don't have it in me. Now does that not mean that there's room to soften? Absolutely. And it's kind of a great segue because I am often challenged to soften and to be more quote feminine. But again, that's not me. Like I am the female warrior mother archetype all day. 0 (28m 52s): It's just, it's in my blood and I'm proud of that. I'm really proud of that. We, oh my goodness, I'm trying to like be careful with my words, intentional with my words. We are out in public recently, and A dangerous situation began to unfold. And I usually pride myself on situational awareness. It's one of the gifts my dad did give me. And know your exits, check your surroundings, watch your back, scan the room, assess who's a threat, who's not a threat, weakest, strongest, all of these things like make it a game so you're not overloaded, you're not in a fight or flight. 0 (29m 43s): It's, it's a game. It's, you don't think too much about it. It's just very natural. Secondhand, that's normally me. We went to this place that was very, very busy and it was hard for me to really see everyone at the same time. So we kind of split up a little bit. And I'm not, my guard is like super down. I just got done traveling, I was exhausted and I failed on just knowing my surroundings and paying attention energetically to what was around me. And I guess long story short, without getting like too detailed, dangerous person and situation kind of unfolded and it was near my kids and it was truly like the Scariest moment of my life and I'm still processing it and I haven't slept since it, I wake up gasping thinking like that I'm in danger, my family's in danger. 0 (30m 47s): And immediately I had someone say or suggest that it was, you know, part of the decision that I had made by getting into the industry. And for a second I took it and I was like, okay. And then as I rejected it, and I said, absolutely not. I know somebody that's a school teacher and just looks like your average person, like not overtly sexual, doesn't dress in any way. Not that that matters, but just to give context, regular middle-aged teacher that had a situation like this, like a real stalker. I know people, women in the military. 0 (31m 28s): So again, not putting themselves out there in any way, not that that matters, but to preface it, that has dealt with this several times. So, and then I talked to another woman who's another teacher, very unassuming, and it's happened to her and her daughter. The common thread is just women. It's being a woman in this world. And it, it's so easy for us to be judged for being neurotic or controlling or backseat driver. We are on edge more than men because the world requires that of us in order to protect ourself, to protect our young, because we are way more vulnerable than men. 0 (32m 10s): It's full stop. That is the truth. And I'm not blaming men because I think most men are awesome. Most men are protectors and they are providers and they're leaders, and they're good people. They're good people. There are some people that are not, and they're predators and they're dangerous. And you know, for that small group subset of that, of that sex, it's care. We have to be careful. We have to be on high alert because it's not like you have a, a mask and a striped shirt and you know, like it's a, a villain in a, in a cartoon. It's, you have no idea who's, who's safe and who's not safe until you're in the moment. 0 (32m 54s): So when all of this was going down, I was the one that picked up on everything. And what's hard about that is It like reestablishes that I don't feel safe and it reestablishes that I have to be my own protector and I have to be the main protector. And that's not something that I necessarily think I want, but it is my, my truth for right now. And that's hard. 0 (33m 35s): But at the same time, I'm so lucky and so blessed that I do have this warrior archetype, and I did have the upbringing that I did because I was able to handle that situation. I was able to see it before it got outta control. And if I didn't, I don't know what would happen. I really don't. So I guess to tie it all together, it's don't fall into this like, false dichotomy about what is feminine and what is masculine and what is your relationship supposed to be like, because at the end of the day, you have to honor who you are authentically. And it doesn't mean that there's not a ton of improvement. You can do that. I can do tons of improvement every single day, but it's also to honor who I am and who I am is gonna be labeled as quote masculine. 0 (34m 25s): And I disagree with that. I think that there are plenty of examples of very strong, strong female archetypes that are very much in their feminine, and it's just who they are. And I think asking them to change is a disservice. That being said, a bit of good news. I am getting my conceal on Thursday, my cc, and I'm really excited about that because while, well I, I'm a good shot and I do practice. It's useless if I don't have it on me. And it's useless if it's not easily available and that I'm remain unassuming. 0 (35m 6s): So I feel like control what you can, and maybe this will start to bring some more peace back into my body because it'll give me a force multiplier and I'll be in a place where I feel like I can truly protect myself or my children because in that moment I was like, I, I don't know what he has on him. I know at that moment I did not have anything substantial and I don't wanna be in that position again. So when people get like all up in arms about the second amendment, I think women should be the biggest advocate for them because again, we're so much more vulnerable. And what else am I gonna do? 0 (35m 46s): You know, I'm not gonna go do juujitsu and wrestle a 200 pound man to the ground. Absolutely not. I'm in my thirties. I could spend every single day in Juujitsu from now until I'm 40 and I'm still probably not gonna be helped out by jujitsu. It's just the honest truth. I've seen women that are professionals in this space and they go up to a guy that's not a professional. Maybe he rolls a couple times a week and she's struggling. I have no intention on going every single day. And maybe it'll help me against like another woman or maybe like a small, small, small man. But I don't consider it to be like a really practical application when it comes to lifesaving techniques, especially because so much of it is on the ground. 0 (36m 28s): Like as a woman, that's not where you wanna be. If you're on the ground, you're in a very dangerous spot. So I am a big proponent of the Second Amendment, and I think that that should probably be the first course of protection for women. I think it's just a lot more predictable. And I don't know, it gives me a lot more comfort knowing that I'll have that on Thursday. So, very excited about that. To wrap up the solo episode, What I have learned this these last few weeks is to again, trust my intuition. 0 (37m 10s): I think I wouldn't have gone to this place if I was listening to my intuition, but I didn't wanna upset my child. He really wanted to go. And we just got back from a trip, so I was like, oh, I can't make him mad at me. I've already been gone for a couple of days, but that my, something was weird and something was telling me not to go. And I ignored that. And same with the retreat. My body didn't wanna go. And I was almost to a point where I was gonna override, override that and kind of dishonor myself in that, in that way. So to really get into touch with your gut and your knowing and what is authentic for you so you can make choices and have almost what it, what it feels like is foresight because you can get a feeling before something happens. 0 (37m 53s): So really get in touch with your gut, trust your intuition more. Don't let anyone put you in a box. Don't let them tell you that you are not feminine or you are emasculated or whatever that is. And to consciously craft your relationship and figure out what works for you in that dynamic. Because it's gonna be different for everybody. And maybe someone wants someone that is like a Belgian Malinois of a man and like they're go, go, go. And they're very purposed and goal oriented and very intense and that's awesome. That is awesome. But someone might wanna golden retriever that's very low maintenance. He's probably not gonna do much if your house gets broken into. 0 (38m 33s): Hopefully that never happens. And then that's the way that you kind of see the world as very low threat. So he's a very sweet husband and he is a very sweet father. And those are the things that you can adore about him and that works for you and your family. But I don't think that you get to get to this place where you're like, the Belgian mal was the only way, it's the only breed. And fuck those golden retrievers. I think that's silly, right? I think we have choices. We're all individuals with different needs. So to honor that at the end of the day, I think is the most important thing. And your life is for you to live, not someone else. So with that being said, I hope you liked the solo CASSIEs always make me very anxious and my little saboteur in my mind is telling me to shut up and to not post it, but I'm gonna post it and yeah, hit like, subscribe, follow, share, all of that good stuff. 0 (39m 24s): I could not do this without all of you. And I wanted to end this podcast with a quote, kind of like a little Lex Friedman style because I felt this quote was really appropriate with a lot of the context. And it's a nietzche quote, it was one of my favorites. You have your way, I have my way as for the right way, the correct way, the only way it does not exist. Bye everybody.