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As gay men, many of us have feared being rejected by our friends and family as part of our coming out process. It’s no surprise that grappling with this fear can result in struggling with intimacy, attachment, and emotional availability. In this episode, we’re talking about how our fear of rejection can lead to developing abandonment issues, the negative impact this can have on romantic relationships, and how we can overcome these struggles. Additional Resources: Abandonment Issues: Signs A.…
Correction: The U.S. Supreme Court's landmark decision for Obergefell v. Hodges came on June 26, 2015. It was incorrectly/accidentally stated as January 26, 2015 at the 15:25 time mark. In the United States, the fight for marriage equality dates back to 1987. But between 2012 and 2014, significant challenges to state laws prohibiting same-sex marriage arose. In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of Obergefell v. Hodges, its landmark decision and legacy, and potential threa…
Many of us have experienced “gay loneliness” from growing up gay in a straight society. We can feel isolated from our straight peers and even members of our community. But what happens when we feel that same sense of loneliness in a romantic relationship? In this episode, my friend, Jordan Nofziger, joins us to discuss overcoming loneliness in a relationship and recognizing our inner strength to make our own happiness. Support the show Get Your Merch
It’s the most dreaded time of the year for single people. In this episode, we’re talking through the pressures of Valentine’s Day and how we can celebrate the holiday by loving ourselves. Support the show Get Your Merch
In previous episodes, we discussed how being vulnerable in a relationship can trigger feelings of anxiety since it threatens longstanding psychological defenses formed to avoid emotional pain and rejection. So if we go through a breakup, we can feel alone and lose ourselves. In this episode, Sara Sabatino joins us to talk through the realization of a relationship's end, moving on from a breakup, and finding yourself. Support the show Get Your Merch
Previously, we discussed how growing up gay can impact our attachment styles when it comes to dating. Unsurprisingly, gay men who were denied affection and emotional support from their caregivers may develop an avoidant attachment type in adulthood and have a harder time getting intimate with others. In this episode, we’re taking a look at how our upbringing affects our emotional availability as gay men, identifying signs of emotional unavailability in a partner, and how we can allow ourselv…
Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men. In this episode, we continue our Gay Icons series with none other than…Donna Summer. Known as the Queen of Disco, Donna is the fourteenth greatest female soloist of all time (according to Billboard) and certainly left her mark on the disco scene. Additional Resources: 19. The Queer History of DiscoWhy Disco Should Be Taken Seriously0.…
Even though we may have had similar upbringings compared to our straight peers, members of the LGBTQ+ community still tend to carry trauma from growing up differently. In this encore episode, my sister, Amy Loveless, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we date, generational differences regarding LGBTQ+ visibility, and dating intentionally. Support the show Get Your Merch
Even though we may have had similar upbringings compared to our straight peers, members of the LGBTQ+ community still tend to carry trauma from growing up differently. In this episode, my sister, Michelle Loveless, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we date, generational differences regarding LGBTQ+ visibility, and living authentically. Support the show Get Your Merch
As gay men, many of us have had to repress our authentic selves and hide our emotions because of negativity we may have experienced growing up differently. Among the myriad of issues this can cause, some of us may not trust acts of kindness from others. In this episode, we’re discussing why we may be guarded when it comes to receiving acts of kindness, the struggles this can cause when forming a romantic relationship, and how we can ultimately learn to begin accepting kindness. Additional R.…
As we approach the end of another year, we may reflect on the past – from relationships to career pursuits to personal matters. And while we may look to a new beginning, we must learn to let go so that we don’t carry negative situations with us. In this episode, we’re discussing the motivating factors for obtaining closure, how we can give others closure, and how we can create our own. Additional Resources: Defining Closure PsychologyThe Need For Closure Scale (NFCS)The Need for Closure Sca.…
In previous episodes, we discussed the importance of LGBTQ+ characters in TV and film and how being our authentic selves can manifest true representation in the media. As part of this increase in LGBTQ+ portrayals, Christmas movies have begun featuring gay characters and storylines. In this episode, we’re taking a look at some of my favorite gay Christmas movies, which include furry handcuffs, awkward family dynamics, and holiday setups. Support the show Get Your Merch
While the holiday season is typically viewed as a joyful time, the pressure of gift-giving, traveling, and spending time with loved ones can cause stress. For the LGBTQ+ community, this time of year can also serve as a reminder of their strained relationships with family, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. In this episode, we’re navigating the LGBTQ+ community’s complicated relationship with the holidays and discussing tips to get through these difficult times. Addition.…
Since 1984, the gay best friend has been a staple character in movies and TV, often being portrayed as sexless and sassy. However, this stereotype—while often thought to be innocent—can actually be harmful and damaging. In this episode, we discuss the origins of the gay best friend trope and cover the negative impact it can have on gay men. Additional Resources: Gay Best Friend (Urban Dictionary)A History of the Gay Best Friend in Film and TVGay Best Friend: A Letter to Straight People from.…
For gay men, humor has played a central role in their resiliency and helped get them through tough times. However, one form of humor, self-deprecating, can become a problem and may actually signify deeper issues. In this episode, we’re discussing the role self-esteem and humor play as a coping mechanism for stressful emotions, signs that our self-deprecating jokes may be negatively impacting how we view ourselves, and how we can break this cycle. Additional Resources: Self-Deprecating Defin.…
From social media to cover models, society has an obsession with body image, which we all struggle with. But for gay men, our bodies tend to be objectified and labeled to define our worth. In this episode, we’re discussing why gay men tend to obsess over their bodies, the negative impacts this has had on our physical and mental health, and how we can treat ourselves and our bodies with kindness. Additional Resources: What are Eating Disorders?Eating Disorder StatisticsGay Men and Body Image.…
The term gaydar, a colloquialism referring to the intuitive ability of a person to assess another’s sexual orientation, has been thrown around casually in the media and among the gay community. However, is there any truth to this concept? In this episode, we take a look at the early origins of gaydar, the science behind the phenomenon, and how advancements in technology may be able to identify a person’s sexual orientation from a photo. Additional Resources Gaydar Definition (Urban Dictiona.…
In America, there has been a decrease in the number of teenagers who’ve received formalized sex education over the years. And for LGBTQ+ youth, inclusive sex education is practically nonexistent. In this episode, we’re taking a look at the current state of sex education in America, the lack of inclusive education for LGTQ+ youth, and how we can be advocates for inclusive, formalized sex education. Additional Resources: The State of Sex Education in America in 2022The 2019 National School Cl.…
At the start of a romantic relationship, it’s exciting to receive positive affirmations and affection from your partner. However, if this affection becomes exaggerated and excessive, it can lead to a manipulative cycle of abuse. In this episode, we look into what love bombing is, common red flags, and how to heal after being love bombed. Additional Resources: Love Bombing (Psychology Today)Spotting Narcissistic Love Bombing: What It Is — and Isn’tIdealize, Devalue, Discard: The Dizzying Cyc.…
The history of horror goes back more than 250 years and has depicted queer themes since its origins. From Frankenstein to Freddy Krueger, horror has always been queer. In this episode, we’re taking a look at the history of the horror genre, queer coded representation in horror literature and film, and modern-day depictions of queer characters. Additional Resources: Britannica - Horror StoryGothic LiteratureThe History of Horror is GayGuessing the Mould: Homosocial Sins and Identity in Horac.…
On October 8, 1998, a 21-year-old college student was picked up from a gay bar, tortured, and murdered because of his sexuality in a state that had no hate crime laws to protect him. More than twenty years later, we continue to remember his life and legacy. In this episode, we discuss the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard, the United States’ reaction, and the impact this tragic event had in bringing about stricter hate crime legislation. Additional Resources: Matthew ShepardMatthew Shepard, .…
Many of us grew up knowing we were different than our peers, feeling like being “other” and fearing rejection at an early age. Therefore, it’s no surprise that gay men experience increased rates of anxiety compared to their straight peers. In this episode, we’re taking a look at anxiety disorders, unique factors that negatively impact gay men’s mental health, and strategies we can implement to better manage our stress. Additional Resources: National Alliance on Mental Illness: Anxiety Disor.…
Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men. In this episode, we kick off the inaugural Gay Icons deep dive with none other than…Kylie Minogue. The highest-selling female Australian artist of all time, Kylie’s career has spanned five decades and taught us how to be vulnerable and resilient. Additional Resources: Episode 04. Pop Icons and Their Gay Emotional AppealGay Icons: My .…
It’s no secret that cities are typically more tolerant of the LGBTQ+ community, and a larger city allows for greater opportunities in general, as well as a larger dating pool. But how did the iconic gay neighborhoods we all know and love come to be? In this episode, we're taking a look at the history of gay villages, their core themes that attract LGBTQ+ people, and how gayborhoods have fallen victim to gentrification. Additional Resources: Between World Wars, Gay Culture Flourished In …