Nov. 11, 2024

Yellowstone Season 5 Episode 9 - what happened to Kevin Costner's John Dutton

We learned the fate of Kevin Costner's John Dutton. Spoilers ahead.

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Show Notes
Transcript

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Calarogus shark media. Hey there, basement dwellers, journey Joe Mitchell

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here coming to you after a two year weight for

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New Yellowstone. That's longer than it takes my cousin Earl

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to decide on a breakfast order at the Denny's. But folks,

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the weight is over. And boy, howdye did Taylor Sheridan

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come out swinging like a cat in a tornado? Well,

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they did it, They actually did it. After all the

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Hollywood drama and schedule conflicts that got more press coverage

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than a three headed calf at the state Fair, we

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finally know what happened to Kevin Costner's John Dutton, and

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let me tell you, friends, it ain't pretty. The episode

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opens with Lloyd Bless his weathered cowboy heart, looking out

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over the ranch like he's seeing the ghost of Christmas future.

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And it sets the mood faster than my ex wife

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set fire to my vinyl collection. Before you can say

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cattle rustler, we're at the Governor's mansion with emergency vehicles

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lighting up the Montana night like a discount fourth of July.

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Beth Dutton arrives in her usual style, which is to say,

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like a hurricane in designer boots and finds what we've

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all been dreading. Papa Dutton gone to that big ranch

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in the sky. Now the police are calling it suicide,

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But folks, I've got a better chance of winning Miss

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Montana than John Dutton has of taking his own life.

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Kelly Riley bless Her, acts this episode like she's trying

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to win every Emmy they've ever made. Beth knows, knows

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that baby brother Jamie is behind this faster than a

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rattlesnake can strike at a church picnic, And speaking of Jamie,

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played by Wes Bentley in his iconic eyebrows, he's putting

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on a grief show that's about as convincing as a

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three dollar bill at a rodeo. Meanwhile, down in Texas,

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because this show's got more locations than my uncle Pete's

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got ex wives, Rip and half the Bunkhouse crew are

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settling in at the four six's ranch. They run into

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our old friend Jimmy, who's looking more cowboy than a

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bootstore catalog. There's a beautiful moment where Rip shows his

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softer side with a family and their little boy, proving

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once again that Kolhauser can melt hearts faster than the

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Montana sun melts spring snow. Through some fancy flashbacks that

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hit harder than my Mama's wooden spoon, we learn that

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Sarah Atwood, Jamie's Squeeze, and the show's resident snake in

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designer clothing arrange the whole thing. She met with some

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professional problem solvers who make the mob look like a

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church choir, and decided that making John's death look like

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suicide was cleaner than a whistle at a lip reading contest.

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Over at the East Camp, Casey and Monica are settling

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into their new digs, and for once, these two crazy

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kids seem happy enough to make a Hallmark movie blush

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their boy takes, even giving them grief about too much PDA,

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which is the surest sign yet that the apocalypse is coming.

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The episode wraps up tighter than a new saddle, with

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Beth pushing Casey to investigate Jamie while she calls Rip

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with the kind of promise that would make the devil

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himself think twice. Come home and help me decide how

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to kill him. And let me tell you, when Beth

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Dutton starts playing your murder, it's probably time to look

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into witness protection or perhaps a nice monastery in Tibet.

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Stray thoughts from the basement. Walker's finally found his happy

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place in Texas, and he hasn't even annoyed Rip yet.

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Mark your calendars, folks, because that's rarer than a vegetarian

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at a barbecue competition. The mention of Quana Parker was

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a nice touch of history that didn't feel forced as

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a square peg in a round hole. Gator apparently has

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quite the vasoline collection, which is information I could have

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gone my whole life without knowing the power Conveniently, going

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out during John's death is about as suspicious as a

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cat in a room full of empty vases. With only

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five episodes left, we're looking at a showdown that's going

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to make the Ok Corral look like a playground scuffle,

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Beth's out for blood, Jamie's trying to play innocent like

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a fox in a henhouse, and somewhere in Texas Rips

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probably planning the longest ride home since Odysseus. That's all

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for this week, basement dwellers. Remember in Montana, family is forever,

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unless you're Jamie Button, in which case forever might be

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a lot shorter than you planned. This is journey Joe

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Mitchell reminding you to keep your friends close, your enemies closer,

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and your remote control closest of all.