Jerry Horror? More like Jerry Horrible Action Films

Just finished listening to the last season of The Offering with Jerry Horror, and lately Jerry has completely steered away from horror and onto horrible '90s action films and video game adaptations. Last season alone, we had to endure Mortal Kombat, The Running Man, Road House, Demolition Man, Spider-Man 3?! What happened?!

This is coming from a fan, but seriously, why is Jerry doing this? I subscribed to The Offering because I wanted to hear about horror movies. I wanted slashers. I wanted monsters. I wanted haunted houses and demonic possessions. Instead, I'm getting Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and video game movies!

Look, roasting Steven Seagal was amusing, and I'll admit that the occasional random cringe movie like Xanadu is a lot of fun. I don't mind the occasional detour. But lately, it feels like the detours have become the entire show!

What's next, Jerry? Batman Forever? Double Dragon? Street Fighter? Are we just going to completely abandon horror and start reviewing every terrible action movie from the '90s?

And don't even get me started on Spider-Man 3. That's not even a horror movie! Although, to be fair, watching Peter Parker dance down the street in that emo phase was pretty terrifying.

Look, Jerry, I love the show. That's why I'm complaining. I just hope next season we can get back to some real horror. Give me something scary. Give me something disturbing. Give me something that will make me sleep with the lights on.

Because if I have to sit through another episode about a bunch of '90s action heroes blowing up a warehouse, I'm going to lose my mind.

Five stars. Absolutely terrible. Can't wait for the next episode.

Sincerely,
Vince Slashington
Somewhere in the Fog of Silent Hill, West Virginia