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Karen, hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life. I'm your host.
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Karen Portnoy, before I get into this episode, please comment, ask questions, share some of your experiences, and don't forget to subscribe.
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I can't believe it. It's actually my 40th episode that I'm recording right now. I can't believe how things have unfolded with this podcast, and I'm so proud of everything that I've done so far, and I just wanted to take this moment for my 40th episode, I had a bit of an epiphany tonight that I wanted to share that. So, you know, I know I've been talking a lot about my healing journey, all the things that I've been facing over the last three years. You know, all the trauma, all my wounds, all of my insecurities, healing my inner child, everything, just everything that I've been facing and just healing relentlessly. And it's not, it's not to pat myself on the back and say, Look how good I am, and look how you know, great I did, and all of that it's not, it's not about that.
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It's about sharing my journey so that maybe it's something that you want to do for yourself. And the reason that I'm saying this, and this whole point of being I'm hoping inspirational. I mean, that was my intention with this podcast all along, was to give everyone hope and inspiration in making your world better and your life better and healing from your trauma and your past and your upbringing and all of that. So my epiphany was really about thinking about all of the work that I've done and like, what it's all about?
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What? Why am I so driven to heal? Why am I so driven to heal these wounds? Like, what's the whole point of it? Right? I don't know, maybe I'm getting into some meaning of life stuff, but I talk a lot about the divorce groups that I'm in on social media, I'm reaching over 400,000 people with my posts and comments. I find myself saying a lot about the law of attraction, how we attract what we are. So if we are unhealed, if we're negative, if we come from dark, Shadow Work, what comes out of that is that's who we attract in our life. So conversely, if we're coming from a positive, optimistic, loving place. That's what we're going to attract to.
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You know, I like to think that I live as authentically as I could be. I'm in my most authentic era of my life right now. I try to live as pure a life as I can. I, you know, try not to lie, try not to do things that I'm not supposed to do, you know, things like that. And I'm very aware.
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I'm very conscious, you know, like I've said, I have a very strong connection to God and the universe, and I'm, I'm really, really happy about that work that I've done, but the whole point is, is that, you know, if we're going to attract what we are, and we're in an unhealed place, I mean, you could see how so many people in this world coming from that place, you know, creates so much poison, and it's not a way to make the world better. It's actually making it worse. So you know, the more people that heal and come from a more loving place and positive and optimistic place, the better the world will be. You.
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So when I think about this epiphany I had, it really comes back to self love. It really comes back to that I feel like that's the crux of it all. It's about loving ourselves, and I truly believe that we are here on this planet, living our life, so that we come home to ourselves. And truly, as as simple as it sounds, I feel like that really is the meaning of life, because the more that we heal ourselves, the more that we love. Ourselves, we then have that much more to give to others. And until we do that, we're very kind of self absorbed and selfish, and it's all about us and our ego and all of that and and we don't have the capacity to give to others, to love others, to look out for each other when we don't have that settled within ourselves and healed within ourselves. So you know when, when I think about healing my inner child, it's not about what others can give to us. It's not about that.
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It's what we can give to ourselves. And when we fill up our own tank, and when we give ourselves what we need, we don't need it from other people, and it frees us up to just love and accept and embrace other people around us, and think about what the world would look like if that actually happened. This world is in such crisis, and I feel like we're at a very pivotal moment where we're either going to sink or we're going to swim, and the only way to do that is to do it together.
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But we can't do that if we don't have what we need within ourselves. So, you know, I look I never saw the actual Matrix movie, but I know what it's about. And I feel like, you know, we are so caught up in the matrix of this life social media and entertainment and TV, movies and, you know, games. God, there's so much out there that is set to take us outside of ourselves and not, not fill our own hearts up with love. And I, you know, this is where I, I show up as the black sheep. And I'm, I totally own that. Now I'm thrilled to be the black sheep.
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You but I just see things so differently than I think many other people see it, and I think that's why my healing has been as intense as as it's been, and so fulfilling, because I see the necessity for all of us to love each other like go within and love yourselves first before you can love anyone else. And I think you know, I was very fortunate in the sense that I was able to take 13 months of pretty intense solitude to go within and do all this healing work on top of the two and a half years that I've done prior to that. But I guess this is why, because I really want to be able to help heal the world. I know that sounds like, Oh, that's a big dream, but why not?
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Why not? And when you have a connection to God and the universe and all of that, there's nothing you can't do.
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There is nothing you can't do.
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I'm not better than anybody else, I'm just different. And if I can do what I'm doing, anybody can do this, anybody can heal, anybody can grow and evolve and change and and be the best possible version they can be of themselves. Don't you owe it to yourself to live the best possible life you can so when I you know answer these comments about the law of attraction and attracting what we are, and all of that, I think it's mostly in the context of romantic partners, but it goes so much broader than that, really. It could be within your family, it could be, you know, your community. It could be people you work with, or friends, or whatever, any area of your life.
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Think about it. We attract what we are. So let's take a look at who we are first, before we realize that that's what we're attracting into our lives. So what I was starting to say about this period of solitude and all what ended up happening was I, I wound up creating somewhat of a bubble around me. You know, I have a small circle of my tried and true friends who I adore and I'm so grateful for. But other than that, I've, I really have created a bubble. I Yeah, you know it's it's interesting, because someone in my family had kind of challenged me about, why don't I seek advice or opinions from other people? Like, do I think I know everything? And it's not about knowing everything. It's about trusting myself. Self and trusting God and knowing that whatever is meant to be is going to be, whatever is meant to unfold is going to unfold the way it's supposed to, and whatever is meant for me is going to happen. So why do I need to go outside of myself and start asking for other people's opinions when that's my core. My core is to trust myself, my inner knowing, my intuition and my connection to God, that's all I need. And it's not to say I don't care about what other people think or or I think I'm better than somebody. It's not about that. I've learned to trust myself. I've learned to trust God, and honestly, that is all I need, and that's really all anybody needs, truly. But a lot a lot of people are very kind of conditioned to ask for other people's advice or opinions or judgments or whatever it is, and no judgment from me about people who do that, but it's just a matter of fact that that's what people do.
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And I'm gonna say that that was passed down from generation to generation, and it's just because that's the way it was. I think, you know, people just That's how people related. But I feel very confident and comfortable and at peace with the decisions that I make now, because I feel very rooted. I feel very secure with God, and I'm secure with the decisions that I'm making. That's not to say that I don't mess up here and there. I don't I don't make mistakes, I don't say the wrong things or whatever. I mean, I'm guilty of that. I'm human. I'm getting better now at taking responsibility when I do that, though, which is a good thing, but I'm really enjoying this bubble, because I don't want the influence of the matrix. I don't want the influence of all the things that I've healed from. So it's all about taking care of myself now, and truthfully, you know, look, I want to be a good example for other people. That's the whole point. I want others to have hope and inspiration, and if I can be that lighthouse for someone, that's that's what I'm trying to do, that's what I'm trying to be.
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And I see change in people close to me, in my life, where I've impacted others, I've inspired others, and not because I'm intentionally trying to do anything. It's just, I think that my my presence, my energy, my aura, whatever you want to call it, I think it just naturally holds that mirror up to people, and I've seen the the effects of that, and I'm happy, you know, I'm sure those people that I've affected aren't so happy because they maybe didn't want to change or make changes in their life. But, you know, we're all here to grow and evolve. I keep saying it, and it's the truth. So I don't know.
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I feel like, one way or another, we're going to be forced to to do the right thing and and go within somehow, even if people just learn to meditate or learn to pray or learn to speak to their ancestors who have passed away. You know, anything that connects us to spirit and the spirit realm, I think, is is helpful, because they're constantly guiding us. They're constantly, you know, giving us messages, and it's a question of how attuned we are to it, to receive it. But they're there.
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And I guess this path that I've been on for the last four years is like, you know, I've paid attention to the signs and the symbols and and the messages that that I get and and it all came together for me in that way. Anyway. I hope this resonated to somebody out there.
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And thank you for listening.
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Catch you next time. Please join me every Thursday for a new episode. You can reach my website at pod page.com/the, music of life. Feel free to leave your email address. You can also leave a voicemail and share any kinds of stories or experiences or anything that you'd like to talk about, I promise I will keep you anonymous, but I assure you that whatever experiences or stories you leave for me, you are not alone, and I would love to share that with other people who are also going through similar things. Thanks again for listening. I'll see. In the next episode you.