The Gracious Two - LIVE Show 098 - Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling

WEBVTT

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And we are live, Mr. Gracey Show 98. What's going

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on? Hey, hey, hey. What do you say? What do it

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be? Yeah, man. Jackie the Jokeman Martling today.

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All thanks to John. Gotta give that to John is

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a good, good get my friend. Gracious to every

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brother. Let's go. Thank you, sir. Well, you

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worked on it. It's awesome. Thank you. I had

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to use you. I had to say, hey, my co -host is

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Chad Gracie from live, by the way. So I think

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you want to be on this show with us. And what

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do you know? Here he is. We'll see if he remembers

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when we played there. It was a 97 we played.

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Yeah. Yep. I was on my way to summer school because,

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you know, I fucked around that year of high school

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and had to bring in my Walkman to listen to you

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guys. But hey, now, Chad, we were talking about

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something pretty. We're talking about 9 11 right

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before this show, and we were kind of getting

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into some of the speculation on how those towers

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fell down. And I keep going back and forth with

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the, you know, is it control demolition? Is it

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not? And as we're talking about it, you know,

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we're trying to like dissect it in our brains

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and just the way and then, you know, engineers

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and architects that come about it saying that

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the top part isn't enough to make it free fall

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that way. It's probably the case. Yeah. Well,

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then you said that then you were talking about

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how it kind of splits apart, right? Like it's

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part. Well, in a in a normal controlled demolition,

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they don't like one one piece of the top, like

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the building, the building, the plane hit the

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building. It damaged part of the building. Right.

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Yeah. And I think that, that they use that mass

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of the top to like split the whole thing down.

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Yeah. With control demolition. I'm not an engineer.

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I'm not an architect. I know. Great. I'm just

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speculating. Allow them to have my opinion. That's

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a podcast. Maybe putting a part flake. So what

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I was saying is a normal, a normal control demolition.

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It's like, what's up? bills here. No more controlled

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demolition is the building. The whole building

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remains intact as it falls, right? Right. Whereas

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this piece, there was a piece that was basically

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almost disconnected from the other pieces that

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then fell down through the other. I don't know.

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That's what I'm through the bill. Yeah. Yeah.

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No, a hundred percent. Well, and here's what

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really like. So why? Because tower seven, we

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know a hundred percent was controlled demolition.

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So if that building was controlled demolition,

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why wouldn't the two towers be? You know what

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I'm saying? Like if it's all part of the plan

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and there's no way you could get me to convince

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that the tower seven wasn't controlled demolition

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because of the way that thing went. Literally

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perfect. The only man and this goes down. Yeah.

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Yep. The only theory, Chad, that I heard that.

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And again, I don't know if this is true or not,

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but somebody made like a graphic like they do

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at Flat Earth that could fucking really warp

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your mind and make you think it's true. So they

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took the tower that fell with the antenna on

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it. And when it came down, that antenna supposedly

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split tower seven in half. I've just seen that

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video today. This morning I saw that video. That's

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funny. Has it just come out? Because I've never

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seen it before. I saw it like a couple of months

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ago for the first time. And that was the first

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time I ever even heard that theory about it.

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So yeah, this is something new they're pushing,

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I guess. Interesting. But that would that would

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be like one way we're, you know, but I haven't

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seen one video where that antenna falls that

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way. Like, you know what I'm saying? Just that

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graphic kind of showed it. But it's just fucking

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nuts, man. Yeah, I've never seen anything else

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that talks about that or says that happened ever.

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Ever since you showed me that. What was the gentleman's

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name, the congressman and firefighter wielding?

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Well, Weldon, yes. Well, yeah. I have been down

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this rabbit hole, dude, like just watching, like

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different camera angles of everything. Hey, mom,

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mama, mama Gracie in the house. Troy Garmin is

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here too. What's up, Troy? Who's here? Shut them

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out. Daphne, Troy, Bill and mom. Gracious audience.

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What is up? Dylan Nightingale. Dylan, what's

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up? What's up? Well, before we talk about 9 -11,

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we're talking about, you know, the happenings

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in LA, which are just great. Ridiculous. And

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it seems like the people. Illegals protesting

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to keep illegals in the country waving Mexican

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flags while doing it. It's like, wait a minute.

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So do you love Mexico or do you not love Mexico?

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Because if you love it so much, go back because

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I got news for you. You're not taking over to

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California. OK, right. Mexico is not going to

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occupy California. That's not going to happen

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ever. So you can be proud of your country, but,

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you know, head on back if you don't like it here.

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Sure. What's with the media, Chad, trying to

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tell us that these are peaceful protests happening

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in LA? They did the same thing in 2020 with frigging

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with the BLM riots. It's the exact same playbook.

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It's like, did you not learn? Or do you not care?

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I don't know which one it is. Like they don't

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report the news. They report some bullshit fantasy

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that they live like, like, oh, no, these are

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peaceful riots. Meanwhile, there's a car burning

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in the background. Yeah. People are going frigging

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nuts. And that's peaceful. It sounds good. Yeah.

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The one the one newscaster from L .A. Fox L .A.,

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oddly enough, was like, yeah, I mean, it's just

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it's just a bunch of people having fun watching

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a car burn. It's not really a riot. This guy

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said this on air. You're like. Do you hear yourself?

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And like, what sheep will fall for that? Like,

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who's watching that and going, oh, yeah, it's

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probably just a little bunch of people having

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fun watching a car burn. Oh, OK. Yeah, great.

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It's like my what my favorite one. There's a

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girl and they're trying to get like the right

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camera angle. And they're like, yes, so the people

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are here just doing peaceful protests. And then

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you're boom and she's like, oh. What's going

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on? And then the camera guy fucking goes and

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then you see there's cars on fire and shit But

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like you're literally trying to report the fucking

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news Don't sit here and tell us this is a people

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peaceful protest like because then you're trying

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to fucking pump your narrative then you have

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Karen Bass commie Karen Bass known comedy scum

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a new scum and Hakeem Jeffries and all the you

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know the cast of characters that come out and

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always say the opposite of what is going on and

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they're basically condoning the rioting and then

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you know then he has to bring you know Trump

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sends in the National Guard to protect ICE because

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Karen Bass won't let the LAPD intervene right

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and then they blame Trump for sending in the

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National Guard it's like it's it's so the conflation

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of facts is so crazy with the left they do it

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all the time all day long, just like the whole

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name they give to illegals, undocumented migrants.

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Oh, okay. Marketing. It's all marketing with

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the left. It is. But you would think that they

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would realize that it's not working anymore.

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But somehow they're still tricking like a certain

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subset of people or it's just they don't even

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care about tricking people. They're just like

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putting it out there and I don't know. It just

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makes no fucking sense to me. I it is it is why

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that's I mean I've said many times in the show

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it's just like they double and triple down on

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stupid and never never course correct why I don't

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know and like you were just saying they're conflating

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facts like they're not even like that's giving

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them the benefit of the doubt like they're just

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straight -up lying to us you know like they're

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not conflating facts they're fucking I mean look

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what happened to a break of Garcia who is now

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coming back to face trial for human trafficking

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he's gonna go to jail for that Oh yeah, they're

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bringing him back. The Dems think this is some

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victory for them, but they're bringing him back

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to face trial for human trafficking. Like that's

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basically what's his whole job, is human trafficking.

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Okay, so now he's gonna go through trials, been

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indicted, he's coming back, and the Dems are

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like, yay, we got him back! We got our poster

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child, man, you know, wife beating, MS -13, human

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trafficker. We got our poster child back, yay!

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The good guys are the bad guys, and the bad guys

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are the good guys, always. And so they're bringing

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him back and indict him that he's indicted. They're

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going to try him. He's going to go to jail. And

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then after he serves his jail sentence, guess

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where he's gone? Back to El Salvador. Bye. But

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you know what, dude? It is kind of a victory

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for them because he shouldn't even have the opportunity

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to go through our fucking justice system. He

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should be in his country and fucking staying

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there. Well, I mean, you know, as Trump often

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does, he gives them what they want. And then

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they just continue to hang themselves. Yeah,

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that's true. And then we got Dylan here just

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said Elon and the Don are mates again. You know

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what? We were just talking about this. And I

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was thinking this from the very beginning that

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it was all ploy. Yep. It was all just theater.

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And then I saw a video of a guy in his Tesla.

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He's like, oh, I can like Elon again. I'll take

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my fuck Elon stickers off my Teslas. OK. Oh,

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now I got to put it back on. Oh, no. You know,

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it's like. It's so ridiculous. It's so ridiculous.

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They just follow whatever is told to them. And

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the new narrative, of course, today is all peaceful

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process, peaceful protest, peaceful process,

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peaceful protest. I guess they think if they

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say it enough times that, well, the sheep will

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believe it. Yeah, you're right. That's how it

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works. But don't these people realize, as they're

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sitting there like... You know, three years ago,

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like praising Elon Musk for all this stuff. Like,

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and then now three years later, they're saying

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they hate him because he's fucking got Trump

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all this. And now they're coming back like on

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his side. Like, don't they realizing that they're

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flip flopping and it's not even their own ideas

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are just being plugged into their head. And they're

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just like, yes, yes, yes. I don't I guess I don't

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know if they don't care or don't realize what's

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happening to them, how brainwashed they truly

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are. I don't know. Or is it? Is it, Chad, that

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fucking, you know, because every person I talk

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to is kind of normal. It's the online people

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that that that is doing is are they people or

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is it really all just fucking bots? Well, Rogan's

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talking about Rogan keeps talking about this.

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He thinks it's like 80 percent bots on on across

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all social media. Right. Just as in it's probably

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China or some or Iran or frigging North Korea

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or us or our own government from. you know, funded

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by USAID, which is just not a thing anymore,

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but that's how it was. You just, and you know,

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just pumping in propaganda, keep everyone divided.

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That's wild. It really is. And we keep saying

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like, well, you know, we know their playbook,

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so they can't pull it again. But somehow I really

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all sorry. Kashal Riley saying Trump's fucking

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up the South African government properly. Yes,

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that's another thing. So the South African president

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comes to this, you know, it comes to the White

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House. I don't know the guy's name. Sorry, Cash.

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I'm sure you don't care because he seems like

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an idiot. Apparently, he was coming in there

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to set Trump straight on what's going on, and

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Trump was like, okay, let's play the video because

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they're literally lying about killing white farmers.

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They're literally killing white farmers all over

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the place in South Africa. It's happening. And

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then some white farmers, we give them asylum.

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who actually need real asylum from basically

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a white genocide that's happening in South Africa.

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And then the left complains about that. Wait

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a minute. So are you for asylum seekers or do

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they have to be a certain color or fit your parameters

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in a certain way? That's how it works. That's

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how it works. Because when there's some white

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people that need to escape actual danger in their

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country, oh, that's a bit, oh, no, we can't have

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them in here. Well, it's just white supremacy.

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It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's called

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legitimate, legitimate fear for your life. Not

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just saying that till you can cross the border

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illegally. Right. Well, wasn't remember that

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one girl Robin we had on here, wasn't she trying

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to get asylum from Canada? Because she was she

00:12:57.519 --> 00:13:01.779
was like claiming that. And hey, by all means,

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man, fucking Trudeau was a was a crazy person

00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:07.509
back then. He sure was, but I just thought that

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was funny. He's like, she was trying to get asylum

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from Canada, like citizenship, like somewhere

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else first and then claim asylum. I'm telling

00:13:15.710 --> 00:13:18.789
you what Canada is basically controlled by the

00:13:18.789 --> 00:13:24.110
CCP at this point. Yeah. And or the globalist.

00:13:26.389 --> 00:13:28.830
I just, I just don't know what the, uh, what

00:13:28.830 --> 00:13:31.269
the end game is. And I'm really get my mind blown

00:13:31.269 --> 00:13:34.809
by Antarctica gaining like a hundred. Billion

00:13:34.809 --> 00:13:37.990
pounds of fucking ice in the past year. Oh, like

00:13:37.990 --> 00:13:41.070
tons. Yeah, tons. Whatever it is, like something

00:13:41.070 --> 00:13:44.610
crazy. A ton of ice gained. It almost I think

00:13:44.610 --> 00:13:50.149
it built another shelf around. Around the world,

00:13:50.429 --> 00:13:52.409
because the Earth is flat. Well, it's another.

00:13:52.570 --> 00:13:54.190
Yeah, they put up another wall around the world.

00:13:54.330 --> 00:13:59.070
Yeah. Jesus, God. I mean, I'm all for a lot of

00:13:59.070 --> 00:14:01.129
conspiracy theories, but Jesus, God, the flatter

00:14:01.129 --> 00:14:04.480
thing, I just. They've been putting out videos.

00:14:04.639 --> 00:14:06.720
They've been putting out video chat of people

00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:09.779
going over the ice wall and these cities like

00:14:09.779 --> 00:14:11.559
beyond it. It's kind of funny, man. But you could

00:14:11.559 --> 00:14:14.659
just tell it's all A .I. generated and all that.

00:14:15.460 --> 00:14:18.360
Yeah. I mean, we do have, you know, they always

00:14:18.360 --> 00:14:20.059
they are, you know, the flatters. There's like

00:14:20.059 --> 00:14:22.259
no one ever visits Antarctica. Bullshit. People

00:14:22.259 --> 00:14:25.100
visit an article all the time. You can go there.

00:14:26.919 --> 00:14:30.919
You can go there. Right. You can't go there and

00:14:30.919 --> 00:14:33.470
just you can't just. You know, hire a plane and

00:14:33.470 --> 00:14:35.330
go down there. You have to it has to be scheduled.

00:14:35.409 --> 00:14:37.889
And I mean, I don't know why, but it's whatever

00:14:37.889 --> 00:14:41.269
treaties environment. Who knows? But the fact

00:14:41.269 --> 00:14:45.309
that there's a wall there holding it, is that

00:14:45.309 --> 00:14:47.809
even through the wall? The wall holds in the

00:14:47.809 --> 00:14:50.529
water. It's like, wait a minute. It's because

00:14:50.529 --> 00:14:52.610
the water would just spin off the planet. It's

00:14:52.610 --> 00:14:56.710
like, no, it's called momentum. Gravity. Earth.

00:14:57.409 --> 00:15:00.509
And now the water just doesn't spin off into

00:15:00.509 --> 00:15:03.570
the earth because it's spinning. It's called

00:15:03.570 --> 00:15:08.429
angular momentum. Well, let's go stand on a train

00:15:08.429 --> 00:15:12.169
and jump up and down. Do you stop? Do you? Does

00:15:12.169 --> 00:15:14.210
the train go by? You know, you stay with the

00:15:14.210 --> 00:15:17.149
train as you jump up and down. As we do you miles

00:15:17.149 --> 00:15:21.149
an hour. Yeah. No, I'm joking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:21.429 --> 00:15:26.919
I'm traveling 60 miles per hour as well. Anyway,

00:15:27.799 --> 00:15:30.799
let's get to our one and only guest that we have

00:15:30.799 --> 00:15:34.580
here, Mr. Jackie the Jokeman Martling. What's

00:15:34.580 --> 00:15:38.200
going on, dude? A body in motion tends to stay

00:15:38.200 --> 00:15:42.139
in motion unless the pose by an opposite force.

00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:44.700
Is that what we're doing? What are we doing?

00:15:45.019 --> 00:15:48.659
Are we doing science? We're doing physics. Antarctica.

00:15:48.980 --> 00:15:52.360
Jesus, I haven't been there in weeks. Yeah, Jackie,

00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:54.159
we got to debunk a lot of this shit over there,

00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:56.139
man. People coming on the podcast telling us

00:15:56.139 --> 00:15:58.620
the earth is flat, dude. We got to we got to

00:15:58.620 --> 00:16:03.019
see what's going on in their head. How you been,

00:16:03.139 --> 00:16:08.200
Jackie, what's going on? But. We're hoping not.

00:16:08.220 --> 00:16:12.019
I'm actually great. I don't know why, but I finally

00:16:12.019 --> 00:16:16.120
got it together to start a diet like two months

00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:19.259
ago, and it's actually working. and I'm so proud

00:16:19.259 --> 00:16:21.899
of myself, I can hardly stand within my skin.

00:16:22.299 --> 00:16:26.059
But that's as exciting as my life gets. Talk

00:16:26.059 --> 00:16:31.159
to me, what is this new diet? No, you know, there's

00:16:31.159 --> 00:16:35.899
so many of these newfangled things, do this,

00:16:35.980 --> 00:16:41.320
do that, do that. The only real diet is eat less.

00:16:42.019 --> 00:16:44.519
Put tape over your mouth to freaking eat less.

00:16:44.600 --> 00:16:47.309
That's what works. You know, and that and that

00:16:47.309 --> 00:16:49.809
I'm not saying that's easy because it ain't,

00:16:49.889 --> 00:16:53.570
especially if you're a hog like me. But there's

00:16:53.570 --> 00:16:55.490
got to be more boring things than talking about

00:16:55.490 --> 00:16:58.309
my weight. Let's talk about the weather. Let's

00:16:58.309 --> 00:17:00.809
go. Let's go there. I don't know anything. Where

00:17:00.809 --> 00:17:04.210
am I talking to? Where are you guys? I'm in New

00:17:04.210 --> 00:17:07.930
Jersey. I'm in California, Irvine. That's better.

00:17:08.289 --> 00:17:11.589
Very good. Yes, sir. And where are you? Are you

00:17:11.589 --> 00:17:15.220
in New York? I'm on the North Shore of Long Island.

00:17:15.500 --> 00:17:18.420
Okay. Sitting right here on the Long Island Sound

00:17:18.420 --> 00:17:22.059
and it's beautiful. It's fantastic except it's

00:17:22.059 --> 00:17:26.019
pouring rain. And yeah, no, how do I know? Do

00:17:26.019 --> 00:17:28.880
I know you guys? Are you comics? Are you podcasters?

00:17:28.940 --> 00:17:31.480
What are you? Let me take this first chat and

00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:32.960
then and then we'll go and so yeah, I'm a stand

00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:35.359
up comedian not nearly as long as you only been

00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:38.640
in about two and a half years. Uh, but Chad over

00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:41.900
there, he is the drummer from live. So back in

00:17:41.900 --> 00:17:46.079
1997, he was on the Howard Stern show and he

00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:47.900
was playing some songs in there. So you guys

00:17:47.900 --> 00:17:50.099
actually have crossed paths back in the day.

00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:52.420
Well, it's nice to see you again. Now I've heard

00:17:52.420 --> 00:17:55.740
people talk about this. I don't live is the name

00:17:55.740 --> 00:17:59.619
of the band, like quote unquote L I V E. I'm

00:17:59.619 --> 00:18:02.210
an old, you know, I haven't bought it. I haven't

00:18:02.210 --> 00:18:06.710
bought an album since Chicago II in 1971, so

00:18:06.710 --> 00:18:10.069
music doesn't compute for me, but it's nice to

00:18:10.069 --> 00:18:13.450
see you again. Nice to see you as well. Yeah,

00:18:13.450 --> 00:18:15.710
I don't think we met when I was there, but you

00:18:15.710 --> 00:18:18.329
were around somewhere, obviously. We played a

00:18:18.329 --> 00:18:21.170
couple songs and Howard was a fan of our band.

00:18:21.190 --> 00:18:24.730
In the studio? Yes, in the studio, yeah. Are

00:18:24.730 --> 00:18:27.089
you sure 97? Because I was still on the show

00:18:27.089 --> 00:18:32.039
in 97. Yes, it was for our third record. It's

00:18:32.039 --> 00:18:36.000
called Secret Samadhi, so it was 97. You were

00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:39.240
there, Jackie. Well, thank you. I'm sure I was

00:18:39.240 --> 00:18:46.420
impressed. So is the band still together? That's

00:18:46.420 --> 00:18:51.440
a good question. None of mine are. The singer's

00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:53.819
still touring but with no original members other

00:18:53.819 --> 00:18:57.869
than himself. Sounds like the Platters. I was

00:18:57.869 --> 00:19:01.190
just gonna say, it's like kinda what happened

00:19:01.190 --> 00:19:03.410
with the Howard Stern show. The original Beatles

00:19:03.410 --> 00:19:05.869
left and then we got stuck with whatever they

00:19:05.869 --> 00:19:08.289
had afterwards, you know? You know, like the

00:19:08.289 --> 00:19:11.309
Temptations. There's like one guy that's a cousin

00:19:11.309 --> 00:19:13.049
of one of the guys that knew one of the guys

00:19:13.049 --> 00:19:16.230
was originally in the group. But I was the biggest

00:19:16.230 --> 00:19:19.730
Temptations fan in the world. And I was in Atlantic

00:19:19.730 --> 00:19:22.349
City like 30 or 40 years ago walking along and

00:19:22.349 --> 00:19:24.549
somebody said, did you see that? That was the

00:19:24.549 --> 00:19:27.160
Temptations. I said it could have been any five

00:19:27.160 --> 00:19:29.059
black guys. I didn't know what they looked like.

00:19:29.259 --> 00:19:32.720
I was just a huge fan, you know, but who cares?

00:19:32.940 --> 00:19:34.819
Well, I'm sorry about your bands unless you're

00:19:34.819 --> 00:19:38.700
glad to be out of that. Um, I'm, I'm glad that

00:19:38.700 --> 00:19:40.859
not tour anymore and I'm still getting paid from

00:19:40.859 --> 00:19:43.700
it. So that's all. Mailbox money is always good.

00:19:43.980 --> 00:19:46.579
It don't get any better than that. Hey, I got

00:19:46.579 --> 00:19:49.079
a check for six bucks the other day. They, I

00:19:49.079 --> 00:19:51.480
guess they're showing the movie comedy's dirtiest

00:19:51.480 --> 00:19:55.359
dozen somewhere in Australia. Oh, man. There

00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:59.420
you go. It rolls in. It rolls in, you know. There

00:19:59.420 --> 00:20:02.900
you go. Six bucks at a time. What are you going

00:20:02.900 --> 00:20:05.880
to do? Jackie, I wanted to talk to you kind of

00:20:05.880 --> 00:20:08.880
about the time that you left the Howard Stern

00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:10.619
show. We'll start there and we're going to go

00:20:10.619 --> 00:20:12.299
through your entire career if you don't mind.

00:20:12.900 --> 00:20:16.319
That's such an original question. It's been 25

00:20:16.319 --> 00:20:18.900
years. Is that the best you got? You want to

00:20:18.900 --> 00:20:21.200
know what happened? Did you ever have a job?

00:20:21.929 --> 00:20:24.549
Did you ever have a job and think you deserve

00:20:24.549 --> 00:20:27.349
to raise and go in and say to your boss, I'd

00:20:27.349 --> 00:20:31.109
like a raise. And he says no. So you leave your

00:20:31.109 --> 00:20:36.210
job. That's what happened. You could stretch

00:20:36.210 --> 00:20:39.789
it and pull it like silly putty all you want,

00:20:39.809 --> 00:20:41.769
but that's the bottom line. I asked for more

00:20:41.769 --> 00:20:43.829
money and they said, we're not going to give

00:20:43.829 --> 00:20:45.930
you that much. And I said, all right, you know,

00:20:46.190 --> 00:20:48.710
and there was repercussions and, you know, I

00:20:48.710 --> 00:20:51.309
was sorry that I wasn't sorry. And, you know,

00:20:51.809 --> 00:20:54.329
But I'm alive and well, and the truth is, if

00:20:54.329 --> 00:20:56.450
I had to stay on that show, I might be dead now.

00:20:56.990 --> 00:21:00.009
So all is fair in love and war. That's all. Well

00:21:00.009 --> 00:21:03.009
put. Happened for a reason. But let me ask you

00:21:03.009 --> 00:21:07.130
this. So it's a business decision from management's

00:21:07.130 --> 00:21:10.089
end, maybe Howard's end, whatever. But did you

00:21:10.089 --> 00:21:13.529
feel that your personal relationship with Howard

00:21:13.529 --> 00:21:15.630
should have been stronger and he should have,

00:21:15.630 --> 00:21:18.170
like, went to bat for you when this was going

00:21:18.170 --> 00:21:21.009
on? Everybody asks the same thing. Who knows?

00:21:21.349 --> 00:21:24.289
you know, there's a there's a million ways to

00:21:24.289 --> 00:21:28.009
to look at it. I do know that he was making enough

00:21:28.009 --> 00:21:33.369
money already that what I asked for was, you

00:21:33.369 --> 00:21:36.589
know, a deck chair on the Titanic. So I don't

00:21:36.589 --> 00:21:39.630
think I don't know exactly what was going on

00:21:39.630 --> 00:21:43.789
in his head. But I do know that I had a lot to

00:21:43.789 --> 00:21:45.470
do with launching. You know what? I was like

00:21:45.470 --> 00:21:48.250
the booster. I was the booster rocket. Yeah.

00:21:48.289 --> 00:21:50.940
And once we got into orbit, When the booster

00:21:50.940 --> 00:21:53.779
fell off who cares, you know, so yeah, but I

00:21:53.779 --> 00:21:55.500
have no hard feelings. You know, it's just odd

00:21:55.500 --> 00:21:59.019
I'm I'm not pals with them. I don't see them.

00:21:59.140 --> 00:22:02.680
No, I was emailing Gary the other day for unrelated

00:22:02.680 --> 00:22:06.420
thing but but it was a great ride and was the

00:22:06.420 --> 00:22:09.799
most fun in the world and it's crazy because

00:22:09.799 --> 00:22:15.559
with YouTube and Twitter all these things There's

00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:19.299
so many kids that weren't even born when I left

00:22:19.299 --> 00:22:23.359
the show in 2001, that are huge fans. I get emails

00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:27.339
from, the greatest email I ever got, a kid from

00:22:27.339 --> 00:22:31.160
Toronto emailed me like five years ago, however

00:22:31.160 --> 00:22:33.619
like, you lose track of time when you get older.

00:22:33.940 --> 00:22:36.140
Not that I'm older, but if I ever get older.

00:22:36.700 --> 00:22:42.799
And he said, I'm from Toronto, I'm 28 years old,

00:22:43.220 --> 00:22:46.160
and I recently discovered the Howard Stern show.

00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:48.420
And I immediately thought it was the greatest

00:22:48.420 --> 00:22:51.740
thing in the world. But then I found there were

00:22:51.740 --> 00:22:55.720
clips of that old Howard Stern show on YouTube

00:22:55.720 --> 00:23:00.900
and started watching them. And he said. It's

00:23:00.900 --> 00:23:04.599
like having a favorite band and then discovering

00:23:04.599 --> 00:23:08.480
their old albums and finding out their old albums

00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:12.980
were better. How great a compliment is that?

00:23:13.259 --> 00:23:16.099
It's like I love the show. But I loved the show

00:23:16.099 --> 00:23:18.940
back then more and he he wasn't around, you know,

00:23:19.019 --> 00:23:22.240
so, you know, I actually kind of double check

00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:24.519
to make sure I didn't write that email myself.

00:23:27.099 --> 00:23:29.440
You never know, you know, you got you got to

00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:31.940
bullshit yourself somewhere along the line, you

00:23:31.940 --> 00:23:35.410
know. Jackie, how did your time start on the

00:23:35.410 --> 00:23:37.930
show? So in other words, like, were you immediately

00:23:37.930 --> 00:23:41.309
hired as a writer on there and like a personality

00:23:41.309 --> 00:23:43.650
or were you kind of doing guest appearances?

00:23:44.369 --> 00:23:46.250
I guess I guess this is your way of telling me

00:23:46.250 --> 00:23:49.549
you didn't read my autobiography. No, this is

00:23:49.549 --> 00:23:52.490
my way of introducing our audience to your biography.

00:23:52.990 --> 00:23:57.430
I was I was a musician all through high school

00:23:57.430 --> 00:24:00.309
and college and all through the 70s. And then

00:24:00.309 --> 00:24:04.000
I segued into stand up comedy. But there was

00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:07.559
no comedy on Long Island and we created it. The

00:24:07.559 --> 00:24:09.779
one variety show, the guy wouldn't pay us money.

00:24:09.880 --> 00:24:13.480
So me and another guy started a show in a bar

00:24:13.480 --> 00:24:16.420
with my amplifier and microphone and blah, blah,

00:24:16.420 --> 00:24:19.779
blah, blah. And we started doing comedy shows

00:24:19.779 --> 00:24:23.799
and that show ran for 15 years. But I had worked

00:24:23.799 --> 00:24:26.759
in a recording studio, so I knew how to make

00:24:26.759 --> 00:24:30.740
a record, which is disarmingly simple. Chad,

00:24:30.859 --> 00:24:33.480
you know, If you want to make a record, all you

00:24:33.480 --> 00:24:36.700
need is your master tape and a few dollars and

00:24:36.700 --> 00:24:40.059
a picture for the outside, and you're all set

00:24:40.059 --> 00:24:44.299
to go. And six months, six months after I started

00:24:44.299 --> 00:24:47.180
standup comedy, you know, you all have a starting

00:24:47.180 --> 00:24:50.640
point. And I called my starting point January

00:24:50.640 --> 00:24:55.539
79 when a bar owner actually handed me $40 for

00:24:55.539 --> 00:24:59.519
telling jokes and playing the guitar instead

00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:03.500
of playing the guitar and telling jokes. That

00:25:03.500 --> 00:25:06.400
was my switch. But I knew from working in the

00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:09.480
recording studio how to make an album. And one

00:25:09.480 --> 00:25:11.920
night I came home from this bar room, you know,

00:25:12.039 --> 00:25:14.019
this restaurant gig, and I said to my girlfriend,

00:25:14.920 --> 00:25:16.940
they laughed every time I opened my mouth. I

00:25:16.940 --> 00:25:18.880
should make a record. She said, well, don't look

00:25:18.880 --> 00:25:20.619
at me. Get your hand out of your ass and make

00:25:20.619 --> 00:25:22.740
a record. So I borrowed money from everybody.

00:25:23.539 --> 00:25:27.000
And I had a comedy album six months after I started

00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:31.210
in comedy. Nowadays, everybody has their CDs

00:25:31.210 --> 00:25:34.210
and they sell them. It was no big deal. Back

00:25:34.210 --> 00:25:37.789
then, nobody. It was unheard of. You know, George

00:25:37.789 --> 00:25:41.470
Carlin and Bill Cosby, those guys had records

00:25:41.470 --> 00:25:44.089
because they were signed to Columbia or whatever.

00:25:44.670 --> 00:25:48.589
But this was a homegrown album. And I made it.

00:25:49.009 --> 00:25:53.450
And it was so exciting because we'd get done

00:25:53.450 --> 00:25:56.210
with shows and I'd stand at the door. and sell

00:25:56.210 --> 00:25:58.829
my albums for five bucks and autograph them which

00:25:58.829 --> 00:26:01.849
was such a rush to be signing your autograph

00:26:01.849 --> 00:26:04.250
was like I died went to heaven and the other

00:26:04.250 --> 00:26:07.910
comics goofed on me like here he goes with his

00:26:07.910 --> 00:26:10.650
records go ahead get out your pants and all of

00:26:10.650 --> 00:26:13.509
a sudden one day they realized he just made an

00:26:13.509 --> 00:26:16.630
extra 75 bucks tonight selling his stupid album

00:26:16.630 --> 00:26:21.029
maybe he's not that dopey so I made another album

00:26:21.400 --> 00:26:23.619
I made another album and all along the way I

00:26:23.619 --> 00:26:25.720
was sending them to everybody. If I bumped into

00:26:25.720 --> 00:26:27.680
you on the street you said I'm a disc jockey

00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:31.539
let me send you my record and my future ex -wife

00:26:31.539 --> 00:26:35.380
came and started to work with me and by 1982

00:26:35.380 --> 00:26:39.640
I had three comedy LPs out like actual records

00:26:39.640 --> 00:26:44.119
and I was sending them to everybody and I was

00:26:44.119 --> 00:26:48.279
working in Washington DC and the owner of the

00:26:48.279 --> 00:26:51.279
club Garvin's laughing said hey there's a wild

00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:54.160
man here that just got fired on the radio and

00:26:54.160 --> 00:26:56.359
he's moving to NBC in New York you should look

00:26:56.359 --> 00:26:59.299
him up you guys would hit it off so just like

00:26:59.299 --> 00:27:02.940
I sent the albums to everybody me and Nancy sent

00:27:02.940 --> 00:27:06.900
three albums and the matching cassettes and all

00:27:06.900 --> 00:27:10.319
my promo we sent out three or four hundred sets

00:27:10.319 --> 00:27:12.680
of this crap You know, throwing shit against

00:27:12.680 --> 00:27:14.720
the wall, you know, that's how it works. You

00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:17.359
know, Chad, like throwing out demo recordings,

00:27:17.579 --> 00:27:20.420
you know? Oh, yeah. And one of the packages went

00:27:20.420 --> 00:27:24.920
to Howard Stern, carried WNBC. Who knew where

00:27:24.920 --> 00:27:27.400
it was going to land? I didn't know. I didn't

00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:29.160
know who it was. I didn't know anything about

00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:32.099
radio. I had no real designs on even being a

00:27:32.099 --> 00:27:34.740
comic. It's just when my last band broke up,

00:27:34.759 --> 00:27:38.180
I said, I am done depending on other guys. You

00:27:38.180 --> 00:27:40.680
know, you know. I'm sure you can relate to this,

00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:44.539
Chad. At one point in Detroit, I was so frustrated,

00:27:44.819 --> 00:27:49.099
and I am not a violent, and I'm a hippie. And

00:27:49.099 --> 00:27:53.380
I got so upset, we had a prodigy organ player

00:27:53.380 --> 00:27:56.720
that played the Hammond organ, and he was ridiculously

00:27:56.720 --> 00:28:00.880
talented, but he was such an asshole. And I couldn't

00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:03.359
take it, we're in a parking lot, and I punched

00:28:03.359 --> 00:28:07.119
him in the chest. And I said, why can't I get

00:28:07.119 --> 00:28:11.569
in a band? with normal musicians. And the light

00:28:11.569 --> 00:28:15.069
bulb went off. It's because they don't make them.

00:28:15.529 --> 00:28:19.690
That's not a whole lot of normal musicians, exactly.

00:28:19.970 --> 00:28:22.609
Right. And then when my last band broke up, I

00:28:22.609 --> 00:28:24.809
said, you know, enough of this. If I'm going

00:28:24.809 --> 00:28:28.069
to bomb and do terribly, I'll do it on my own.

00:28:28.150 --> 00:28:30.109
And I certainly wouldn't get a job. So I started

00:28:30.109 --> 00:28:32.630
telling the jokes that I've been collecting since

00:28:32.630 --> 00:28:36.529
I was in third grade on stage. And everybody

00:28:36.529 --> 00:28:38.930
loved them. Nobody else was doing it. And I was

00:28:38.930 --> 00:28:42.309
killing. So in 1982, I sent these records. Me

00:28:42.309 --> 00:28:45.730
and Nancy sent the records to Howard Stern. We

00:28:45.730 --> 00:28:47.190
didn't hear anything from him for a couple of

00:28:47.190 --> 00:28:51.750
months because he had just got to NBC. And Nancy

00:28:51.750 --> 00:28:54.170
called. I was in my mother's attic. That was

00:28:54.170 --> 00:28:56.789
where Jokeland was. And Nancy called and said,

00:28:56.890 --> 00:28:58.950
hey, that disc jockey, Howard Stern just called.

00:28:58.950 --> 00:29:02.029
He wants you to call him. So I called NBC. He

00:29:02.029 --> 00:29:03.750
asked to speak to Howard Stern. He got right

00:29:03.750 --> 00:29:06.299
on the phone. And he said, listen, we listened

00:29:06.299 --> 00:29:08.500
to your records, and you know every joke, you're

00:29:08.500 --> 00:29:10.720
a pisser. Do you want to come in, hang out on

00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:15.839
the air today? Well, I'm running Governor's Comedy

00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:18.900
Shop in Levittown on Long Island, and he's inviting

00:29:18.900 --> 00:29:22.859
me to WNBC in Manhattan. It wasn't a big decision.

00:29:23.039 --> 00:29:27.980
I said, here I come. And I went in, and the same

00:29:27.980 --> 00:29:30.779
group as the last day I worked there in 2001,

00:29:30.980 --> 00:29:34.329
it was Howard and Robin and Fred. and I walked

00:29:34.329 --> 00:29:37.390
in, and I didn't know anything about radio, so

00:29:37.390 --> 00:29:41.170
I didn't know the magic, but we clicked. Immediately

00:29:41.170 --> 00:29:43.630
we clicked, and at the end of the, sitting there

00:29:43.630 --> 00:29:46.569
for three or four hours laughing, Howard said,

00:29:46.690 --> 00:29:49.109
man, you're a lot of fun. Why don't you come

00:29:49.109 --> 00:29:52.750
back again next week? And that was that. I came

00:29:52.750 --> 00:29:56.450
back, I worked every week for three years for

00:29:56.450 --> 00:30:00.740
free. but along the way I was writing ideas and

00:30:00.740 --> 00:30:02.720
giving them ideas. At one point I talked them

00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:06.539
into, Nancy talked them into giving me 25 bucks

00:30:06.539 --> 00:30:10.819
a week for parking, which was a joke. It cost

00:30:10.819 --> 00:30:14.859
me a fortune to work on this show. And he'd always,

00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:17.000
I'm sorry, I don't have any money on me. You're

00:30:17.000 --> 00:30:20.519
a house 20, I don't have a five. It became a

00:30:20.519 --> 00:30:24.440
running gag. And to this day, I have comics come

00:30:24.440 --> 00:30:26.339
up to me and say, I can't believe you invited

00:30:26.339 --> 00:30:29.420
me on the Howard Stern show in the early 80s.

00:30:29.480 --> 00:30:31.059
And I said, no, I'd say, do you want to come

00:30:31.059 --> 00:30:34.380
on the Howard Stern show? And these dopey comedians

00:30:34.380 --> 00:30:38.619
would say, what's it pay? What do you mean, what's

00:30:38.619 --> 00:30:41.700
it pay? You're going to be on the 50 ,000 watts

00:30:41.700 --> 00:30:49.319
of a major, the main station of WNBC. you cannot

00:30:49.319 --> 00:30:51.599
explain advertising to somebody that doesn't

00:30:51.599 --> 00:30:54.240
grasp the concept. And so, you know, I'd have

00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:57.039
to, you know, twist arms to get people, but I

00:30:57.039 --> 00:31:00.980
gradually gave him ideas. And then one day he

00:31:00.980 --> 00:31:04.960
got fired. He got rehired at K -Rock. And I was

00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:07.400
back on one day a week and I was on the road,

00:31:08.099 --> 00:31:09.700
Virginia Beach. I got a phone call. He said,

00:31:09.819 --> 00:31:13.579
we're going to warnings and I need a price for

00:31:13.579 --> 00:31:15.660
two days a week. So I gave him a ridiculously

00:31:15.660 --> 00:31:20.299
low price. And I was on two days a week for a

00:31:20.299 --> 00:31:23.299
month or so, but he was so much funnier on the

00:31:23.299 --> 00:31:25.660
days when I was passing him notes. I went to

00:31:25.660 --> 00:31:29.539
three days, four days, and then eventually by,

00:31:29.539 --> 00:31:33.420
I would say August or September, I was on five

00:31:33.420 --> 00:31:35.380
days a week, and that's when we syndicate, I

00:31:35.380 --> 00:31:38.980
always say we. That's when he syndicated to Philadelphia

00:31:38.980 --> 00:31:43.000
and Washington, and we went to Pluto. It was

00:31:43.000 --> 00:31:45.180
like putting a frog on a frying pan. It was very

00:31:45.180 --> 00:31:48.480
gradual. You know, one day Jed woke up and goddamn,

00:31:48.539 --> 00:31:51.460
he's a millionaire. You know, it was it was magic.

00:31:51.920 --> 00:31:55.000
Absolute magic. You know, Jackie, did you feel

00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:58.299
the pressure? That was a long enough answer.

00:31:58.960 --> 00:32:02.759
Yeah, man. It was awesome. Sorry. When you guys

00:32:02.759 --> 00:32:05.339
start expanding into national markets like that,

00:32:05.339 --> 00:32:07.880
do you feel the pressure of speaking in front

00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:10.359
of hundreds of thousands, millions of people

00:32:10.359 --> 00:32:12.359
at the time? Like, do you feel that in the studio?

00:32:12.500 --> 00:32:16.319
No, because I didn't say much. I didn't say much.

00:32:17.539 --> 00:32:22.000
And we were four people hanging out. We were

00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:24.119
four people sitting there having a bagel and

00:32:24.119 --> 00:32:28.640
a coffee and hanging out. You'd never think about...

00:32:28.640 --> 00:32:30.619
That's why so many times people would come on

00:32:30.619 --> 00:32:34.500
the show and they'd say stuff you couldn't believe.

00:32:35.299 --> 00:32:37.140
Because they'd lose sight of the fact. I mean,

00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:39.859
I'm talking to you and you. They don't realize

00:32:39.859 --> 00:32:42.970
that there's 15 million people listening. You

00:32:42.970 --> 00:32:45.269
know, and they're like, Whoa, and you know, nobody's

00:32:45.269 --> 00:32:48.990
going to stop them. Right. But it was so great.

00:32:49.950 --> 00:32:52.349
But whenever I stopped and thought about it,

00:32:52.349 --> 00:32:55.809
I would just, you know, I'd be amazed because

00:32:55.809 --> 00:33:00.630
if you write a movie or if you're in a movie,

00:33:00.630 --> 00:33:04.210
you write a line or you do act in a movie in

00:33:04.210 --> 00:33:06.029
a couple of months, the movie is going to come

00:33:06.029 --> 00:33:08.809
out with any luck and you see yourself on the

00:33:08.809 --> 00:33:12.140
screen. If you're a comedian. You can write a

00:33:12.140 --> 00:33:14.960
couple jokes for your act and that night you

00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:18.460
could try them out and see how they work. We're

00:33:18.460 --> 00:33:21.119
sitting there live to millions and millions of

00:33:21.119 --> 00:33:23.839
people and I'm writing a line and putting it

00:33:23.839 --> 00:33:25.900
up and a lot of times he'd read it without even

00:33:25.900 --> 00:33:30.339
pre -reading it. So I think of an idea and five

00:33:30.339 --> 00:33:34.880
or 10 seconds after I get the idea, there's millions

00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:38.849
of people laughing. You can't. You can't even

00:33:38.849 --> 00:33:42.710
wrap your head around that. But you didn't think

00:33:42.710 --> 00:33:46.529
about it. And of course, Mickey Mantle got a

00:33:46.529 --> 00:33:49.670
hit three times out of 10. The notes are flying,

00:33:49.789 --> 00:33:52.490
the notes are flying. But a certain amount of

00:33:52.490 --> 00:33:55.589
them, he'd reject some of them, and some of them

00:33:55.589 --> 00:33:58.170
might have fallen flat. But we didn't know, we're

00:33:58.170 --> 00:33:59.769
sitting there in the room, we're all laughing

00:33:59.769 --> 00:34:02.369
at the time of our lives. If somebody wants to

00:34:02.369 --> 00:34:05.849
join in and laugh with us, that's fine. And it

00:34:05.849 --> 00:34:10.289
worked big time. We just killed. He just killed.

00:34:10.849 --> 00:34:13.469
And I don't think he ever thought in terms of,

00:34:13.889 --> 00:34:15.650
oh no, there's millions of people listening.

00:34:17.590 --> 00:34:23.429
It was huge and got bigger and bigger. Like I'd

00:34:23.429 --> 00:34:27.329
get interviewed in 1988. Like the Daily News

00:34:27.329 --> 00:34:29.369
and I said, well, you know, you guys are so red

00:34:29.369 --> 00:34:32.690
hot and that's such a great show But how long

00:34:32.690 --> 00:34:36.030
do you think it can last? And I got asked that

00:34:36.030 --> 00:34:39.789
same question For 15 years, you know, all right.

00:34:39.789 --> 00:34:42.630
So now how it's got a book out you guys on 20

00:34:42.630 --> 00:34:46.250
stations But how long can it last and then all

00:34:46.250 --> 00:34:49.150
of a sudden there's a movie and there's 55 Stations

00:34:49.150 --> 00:34:52.570
and there's the TV show and he just kept reinventing

00:34:52.570 --> 00:34:56.159
and we all just rose to the occasion And it was,

00:34:56.159 --> 00:34:58.360
you know, and it was classic. It was absolutely

00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:01.780
and it still is classic, you know. Yeah, show

00:35:01.780 --> 00:35:03.920
the format changed a lot for sure. Sorry, I got

00:35:03.920 --> 00:35:07.940
I was going to say it was was. Was that whole

00:35:07.940 --> 00:35:10.260
thing planned or did was it just kind of like

00:35:10.260 --> 00:35:12.659
happening and was I mean, was there someone in

00:35:12.659 --> 00:35:15.619
the background going we need to do this and keep

00:35:15.619 --> 00:35:18.019
going this way? You know what it was like an

00:35:18.019 --> 00:35:20.840
expansion because it was so magic. Howard was

00:35:20.840 --> 00:35:24.269
Dorothy going to Oz. You know, he got hooked

00:35:24.269 --> 00:35:28.969
up with Robin, and they were partners. And then,

00:35:29.130 --> 00:35:31.269
well, what happened first was Howard was on the

00:35:31.269 --> 00:35:37.309
air in Detroit, and he had worked at a radio

00:35:37.309 --> 00:35:40.849
station in Connecticut, in college. And Fred

00:35:40.849 --> 00:35:44.650
Norris had worked with him and helped him. Fred

00:35:44.650 --> 00:35:47.690
is the unsung... Fred created the show, but,

00:35:47.750 --> 00:35:50.650
you know, that's another story. And Howard got

00:35:50.650 --> 00:35:53.840
hired in Detroit. and he would call Fred on the

00:35:53.840 --> 00:35:57.800
phone and Fred would do bits over the phone on

00:35:57.800 --> 00:36:00.519
the air for Howard and when they offered him

00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:04.199
the job in Washington DC he said I'll go but

00:36:04.199 --> 00:36:07.559
you got to bring this guy Fred Norris so he brought

00:36:07.559 --> 00:36:10.980
Fred with him and they had the show on DC 101

00:36:10.980 --> 00:36:13.400
then somebody brought Robin introduced her to

00:36:13.400 --> 00:36:16.699
Howard so the three of them were there and then

00:36:16.699 --> 00:36:21.460
he got fired And he got hired at WNBC, and he

00:36:21.460 --> 00:36:25.260
didn't get to bring Robin right away. It was

00:36:25.260 --> 00:36:28.219
a little tense, but they didn't want to go for

00:36:28.219 --> 00:36:30.099
it right away. But he said, don't worry, I'll

00:36:30.099 --> 00:36:32.500
get you up here. And I think it probably took

00:36:32.500 --> 00:36:34.960
him a couple months. And then it was the three

00:36:34.960 --> 00:36:39.900
of them. But I don't think he had any long range

00:36:39.900 --> 00:36:42.699
plan. I don't think he was like, let me find

00:36:42.699 --> 00:36:46.949
a woman to - to do news or let me find a black

00:36:46.949 --> 00:36:50.190
person to absorb some of the shock, you know,

00:36:50.230 --> 00:36:53.250
I don't think any of that was the least bit calculated.

00:36:53.670 --> 00:36:57.829
Of course, what do I know? And the fact he bumped

00:36:57.829 --> 00:37:01.289
into Fred, who is maybe the funniest, smartest,

00:37:01.429 --> 00:37:04.289
most unbelievable human being in the world that

00:37:04.289 --> 00:37:09.449
nobody knows, hooking up with Fred was probably

00:37:09.449 --> 00:37:11.909
the greatest thing he ever did. And then Robin

00:37:11.909 --> 00:37:15.159
came and then they came to New York And then

00:37:15.159 --> 00:37:18.400
they stumbled, they didn't, they didn't stumble

00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:23.019
upon me. I sent my records, but you know, you're

00:37:23.019 --> 00:37:26.139
in show business. Who knows if he was ever going

00:37:26.139 --> 00:37:28.320
to open that package? Who knows if they were

00:37:28.320 --> 00:37:30.260
ever going to look at it? You know, who's this

00:37:30.260 --> 00:37:32.179
guy? We never heard of this guy, but they must've

00:37:32.179 --> 00:37:34.880
said, wow, this is a New York comedian with three

00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:37.340
albums out. He must know what he's doing. Or

00:37:37.340 --> 00:37:39.659
maybe they thought this guy looks like an idiot.

00:37:39.840 --> 00:37:42.590
Here's somebody we could crap on, you know. Who

00:37:42.590 --> 00:37:47.329
knows what they knew? But we clicked so well

00:37:47.329 --> 00:37:50.349
from the beginning, because I have a great laugh,

00:37:50.849 --> 00:37:53.630
and I know it, and I'm fun, and I'm a very low

00:37:53.630 --> 00:37:57.050
threshold to laugh. And to this day, these people

00:37:57.050 --> 00:38:00.090
have no idea what I did on that show, because

00:38:00.090 --> 00:38:03.929
I got picked on so much and laughed so much,

00:38:04.190 --> 00:38:07.449
that was almost enough to justify my presence

00:38:07.449 --> 00:38:10.550
in the studio. Nobody had any idea that I was

00:38:10.550 --> 00:38:14.150
pumping lines. a mile a minute and make him funnier

00:38:14.150 --> 00:38:17.829
than shit. And yeah, and people would find and

00:38:17.829 --> 00:38:21.949
when they discover that it I think it's so interesting

00:38:21.949 --> 00:38:25.329
if ever made a movie, a real movie about what

00:38:25.329 --> 00:38:28.090
really happened. I think it'd be fascinating.

00:38:28.670 --> 00:38:31.829
Yeah, that's not what happened. I mean, I barely

00:38:31.829 --> 00:38:34.329
made it into the movie. You know, they were doing

00:38:34.329 --> 00:38:39.000
a whole movie. And I wasn't going to be I wasn't

00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:41.719
going to be part of the movie and I think maybe

00:38:41.719 --> 00:38:44.679
Fred wasn't either because we were doing so much

00:38:44.679 --> 00:38:47.280
and then they threw that out and started over

00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:51.340
but he made the movie so I just came in at the

00:38:51.340 --> 00:38:53.840
tail end all of a sudden they were big shots

00:38:53.840 --> 00:38:57.619
and big stars and here's the new guy that had

00:38:57.619 --> 00:38:59.679
nothing to do with you know but I was thrilled

00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:01.940
to be in the movie you know and that was sure

00:39:01.940 --> 00:39:04.579
and you know and that's how it worked out which

00:39:04.579 --> 00:39:08.739
was fine you know it's It's Howard's ball game

00:39:08.739 --> 00:39:12.119
and he deserves everything he's got, you know.

00:39:12.380 --> 00:39:15.340
Sure. Sure. Yeah. Ultra talent. It just seems

00:39:15.340 --> 00:39:18.500
from like an outsider's point of view, like his

00:39:18.500 --> 00:39:21.340
loyalty isn't as much as it should be. Like,

00:39:21.340 --> 00:39:23.039
it seems like the only one he really went to

00:39:23.039 --> 00:39:26.059
bat for was Robin back in the day. But you guys,

00:39:26.360 --> 00:39:29.260
you, like you said, Fred, Robin, Baba Booey,

00:39:29.300 --> 00:39:31.860
they were all such huge parts of the show. But

00:39:31.860 --> 00:39:36.530
it seems like if, you know, something got upset

00:39:36.530 --> 00:39:37.869
Howard or something, he would have no problem

00:39:37.869 --> 00:39:40.349
being like, fuck off and take off or whatever.

00:39:40.349 --> 00:39:43.369
No, no, he's been incredibly loyal to Gary and

00:39:43.369 --> 00:39:46.269
Fred. They make millions and millions and millions.

00:39:47.150 --> 00:39:50.130
That's good to hear. But but, you know, I was

00:39:50.130 --> 00:39:55.550
the one who I was I was the Jew in line at the

00:39:55.550 --> 00:39:57.469
Holocaust that says, what do you mean we're going?

00:39:57.610 --> 00:39:59.769
I don't want to go into any oven, you know, and

00:39:59.769 --> 00:40:02.550
everybody else, you know, don't say nothing.

00:40:02.909 --> 00:40:09.420
You know, I love Fred. But after 35 years, I

00:40:09.420 --> 00:40:13.420
would almost bet my house that Fred has never

00:40:13.420 --> 00:40:18.440
uttered the words, I want more. He just patiently

00:40:18.440 --> 00:40:20.659
waited. And now I think he's making $5 million

00:40:20.659 --> 00:40:26.300
a year. He just waited and waited. And that's

00:40:26.300 --> 00:40:31.199
how he played it. And that was fine. There's

00:40:31.199 --> 00:40:34.980
too much to go into, but he's just a delightful

00:40:34.980 --> 00:40:39.239
guy. I've never listened to the show. I never

00:40:39.239 --> 00:40:40.780
listened to the show when I was on it either.

00:40:41.539 --> 00:40:44.599
People ask me, what do you think of the new show?

00:40:45.039 --> 00:40:48.760
When I say I don't know, they roll their eyes

00:40:48.760 --> 00:40:52.679
like I'm full of crap. I wasn't a radio listener

00:40:52.679 --> 00:40:58.719
before I got there. It's interesting. Go ahead.

00:40:58.989 --> 00:41:01.489
Uh, back in, I got two things here. Uh, one,

00:41:01.750 --> 00:41:04.329
I just realized you were kind of like the first

00:41:04.329 --> 00:41:07.030
influencer who like realized how to monetize

00:41:07.030 --> 00:41:09.250
your situation. You know what I'm saying? Like

00:41:09.250 --> 00:41:11.090
you said, comedians were calling up. How much

00:41:11.090 --> 00:41:13.309
do I get paid? And you were like, get paid. This

00:41:13.309 --> 00:41:16.449
is like advertisement for you, dude. I went in

00:41:16.449 --> 00:41:19.510
there and I've had five, one, six, nine, two,

00:41:19.510 --> 00:41:23.110
two wine is my dirty joke line. And it has been

00:41:23.110 --> 00:41:28.059
since January, January of 1979. We were starting

00:41:28.059 --> 00:41:31.679
this show at this restaurant. Like I said, that's

00:41:31.679 --> 00:41:33.880
the beginning of comedy on Long Island at this

00:41:33.880 --> 00:41:36.360
restaurant called Cinnamon. Well, like, how the

00:41:36.360 --> 00:41:37.880
hell are we going to advertise this? We have

00:41:37.880 --> 00:41:40.440
no money. Nobody knows who we are. And I got

00:41:40.440 --> 00:41:43.019
the bright idea. I'll get a radio, get a telephone

00:41:43.019 --> 00:41:46.519
line and we'll give out the number and I'll tell

00:41:46.519 --> 00:41:49.059
a dirty joke and then say tonight we're at Cinnamon

00:41:49.059 --> 00:41:51.599
in Huntington. Come see some comedy and tell

00:41:51.599 --> 00:41:55.480
some more dirty jokes. It's just the basic building.

00:41:55.869 --> 00:41:59.389
of a radio show or a television show. A little

00:41:59.389 --> 00:42:02.010
content, a little advertisement, a little content,

00:42:02.130 --> 00:42:08.429
you know, that simple. And I went in there and

00:42:08.429 --> 00:42:11.429
he said, you know, this is Jackie Martling and

00:42:11.429 --> 00:42:14.110
he'll be at Governor's Comedy Shop this weekend

00:42:14.110 --> 00:42:19.969
and there's millions of people listening and

00:42:19.969 --> 00:42:25.489
5169221 and it blew up. And then after the second

00:42:25.489 --> 00:42:28.630
week, I got a phone call from Howard. And he

00:42:28.630 --> 00:42:30.590
said, I got some bad news. And I thought, well,

00:42:30.650 --> 00:42:33.969
it was fun while it lasted, right? And he said,

00:42:33.989 --> 00:42:37.030
I can't give out that phone number anymore. I

00:42:37.030 --> 00:42:38.489
said, what are you talking about? He says, I

00:42:38.489 --> 00:42:42.610
give out the 516922Y. And I guess little kids

00:42:42.610 --> 00:42:47.210
are calling and NBC got complaints. I said, well,

00:42:47.210 --> 00:42:51.090
fuck the number. Who needs that? And that was

00:42:51.090 --> 00:42:54.800
that. So then we continued on. and Governor's

00:42:54.800 --> 00:43:00.239
Comedy Shop just went through the roof. Anybody

00:43:00.239 --> 00:43:04.139
that came on the show got promoted, and it just

00:43:04.139 --> 00:43:07.820
worked out fantastic. I started making the albums

00:43:07.820 --> 00:43:12.579
right away, and then albums led to cassettes.

00:43:14.920 --> 00:43:18.099
It was so funny because I was getting popular

00:43:18.099 --> 00:43:20.880
from Howard's show, even was on one day a week.

00:43:22.429 --> 00:43:27.530
They opened up a video store in my little hometown.

00:43:27.869 --> 00:43:31.150
I'm in Oyster Bay on North Shore in Nassau County.

00:43:33.349 --> 00:43:36.130
It's a hamlet, you know, like Billy Joel lives

00:43:36.130 --> 00:43:38.789
here, blah, blah, blah, but it's a hamlet. So

00:43:38.789 --> 00:43:43.469
we got a video store. So I said, listen, I got

00:43:43.469 --> 00:43:46.550
to do something. So me and Nancy put together

00:43:46.550 --> 00:43:50.829
a VHS tape. One, one, you know, edited together

00:43:50.829 --> 00:43:55.219
a bunch of comedy. and made one video tape and

00:43:55.219 --> 00:43:58.059
called it a safe distance from genius and put

00:43:58.059 --> 00:44:01.340
it in the video store. And I advertise it on

00:44:01.340 --> 00:44:04.079
the Stern show. Oh, wow. I said, you've got to

00:44:04.079 --> 00:44:06.480
be crazy. There's hundreds of people coming in

00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:09.880
to rent that one stupid tape. So we went and

00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:13.539
got copies made, which was it was so ass backwards.

00:44:13.619 --> 00:44:16.519
It's just so much fun. And then everything I

00:44:16.519 --> 00:44:19.960
did, I'd advertise. And then it became, you know.

00:44:20.550 --> 00:44:23.190
attacked Jackie for his stupid stuff he's doing,

00:44:23.250 --> 00:44:26.570
you know, but meanwhile, it all made sense, you

00:44:26.570 --> 00:44:29.269
know, me and a couple houses in Bayville, and

00:44:29.269 --> 00:44:31.630
then making fun of us, because we all know what

00:44:31.630 --> 00:44:34.989
a ridiculous investment it is to buy real estate,

00:44:35.329 --> 00:44:38.170
you know, he said, Jackie's got these shacks

00:44:38.170 --> 00:44:40.389
and everybody's saying, yeah, he's a jerk, jerk,

00:44:40.389 --> 00:44:43.289
the places are worth, you know, yeah, and it

00:44:43.289 --> 00:44:46.090
was just fun. It was just just fun, fun, fun.

00:44:46.449 --> 00:44:49.380
And then I came out with different you know different

00:44:49.380 --> 00:44:51.860
things that I was doing and it was and they always

00:44:51.860 --> 00:44:55.460
made fun of me but it was always just so you

00:44:55.460 --> 00:44:58.719
I did you know yeah you're allowing them to to

00:44:58.719 --> 00:45:00.219
to joke on you but you're sitting there laughing

00:45:00.219 --> 00:45:02.460
all the way into the bank as you're collecting

00:45:02.460 --> 00:45:06.780
some of those things you know howard howard's

00:45:06.780 --> 00:45:09.059
second book you know there was like a chapter

00:45:09.059 --> 00:45:11.159
about each of us in his books and in the second

00:45:11.159 --> 00:45:14.920
book the chapter about me the first two words

00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:20.280
were fuck jackie and If you read the book, it's

00:45:20.280 --> 00:45:25.940
called Miss America, I think it's called. You

00:45:25.940 --> 00:45:28.280
look in the first two words in Miss America under

00:45:28.280 --> 00:45:33.079
my chapter of Fuck Jackie. He goes on to berate

00:45:33.079 --> 00:45:34.800
me and berate me and at the end he says, well,

00:45:34.800 --> 00:45:37.840
I got a tight truth. For all the hassle and all

00:45:37.840 --> 00:45:40.500
the crap he gives me, it's worth it. Jackie's

00:45:40.500 --> 00:45:43.900
worth it. He's invaluable to me. Somebody called

00:45:43.900 --> 00:45:46.500
up and said, Howard, I read the book and I agree

00:45:46.500 --> 00:45:52.030
with you. F Jackie so they kind of smiled and

00:45:52.030 --> 00:45:54.610
then a few minutes later another guy called up

00:45:54.610 --> 00:45:57.829
and said hey I read the book too and I agree

00:45:57.829 --> 00:46:02.050
with you F Jackie and after the second one it

00:46:02.050 --> 00:46:04.909
was carved in stone and everything was F Jackie

00:46:04.909 --> 00:46:08.989
F Jackie so what'd I do the next CD I put out

00:46:08.989 --> 00:46:13.849
I called F Jackie and it sold like mad and every

00:46:13.849 --> 00:46:17.230
time he said F Jackie Like, thanks for the advertisement.

00:46:17.409 --> 00:46:20.949
You know, I'm not stupid, you know? That's brilliant.

00:46:21.010 --> 00:46:22.829
I love it. That's so great. Isn't that fun? Isn't

00:46:22.829 --> 00:46:25.289
that fun? Yeah. You mentioned earlier about he

00:46:25.289 --> 00:46:29.570
would pick on you, and, like, there's epic shows

00:46:29.570 --> 00:46:32.349
where he epically picks one person and just goes

00:46:32.349 --> 00:46:35.929
at them. Is that sometimes real, or is it just

00:46:35.929 --> 00:46:38.909
part of the show? You know, it's so bordered

00:46:38.909 --> 00:46:41.389
on real, and it wasn't. It never really was.

00:46:42.009 --> 00:46:45.070
You know, there were no fist fights, you know,

00:46:45.150 --> 00:46:48.429
they but it would get heated because you know

00:46:48.429 --> 00:46:50.570
We used to say in high school if it doesn't break

00:46:50.570 --> 00:46:54.150
your balls It doesn't break your balls. You know

00:46:54.150 --> 00:46:56.409
what I mean? It's like the bully the town bullies

00:46:56.409 --> 00:46:58.190
gonna keep punch you in the face If you don't

00:46:58.190 --> 00:47:00.250
say ouch, he's gonna keep punching you till you

00:47:00.250 --> 00:47:03.349
say ouch So I learned to say ouch But the challenge

00:47:03.349 --> 00:47:06.030
was when I'm sitting there and I could defend

00:47:06.030 --> 00:47:08.349
myself because I'm smart So when I got Howard

00:47:08.349 --> 00:47:10.730
and Robin and Gary and Fred all picking on me

00:47:11.050 --> 00:47:13.489
I'm like Bruce Lee in the middle, I'm defending

00:47:13.489 --> 00:47:19.789
myself. But the trick was to deflect. Yeah, I

00:47:19.789 --> 00:47:22.550
know I'm an idiot, but Fred, I know I'm an idiot.

00:47:22.769 --> 00:47:27.730
Look at Gary's ass. And people don't believe

00:47:27.730 --> 00:47:31.150
it, but I would write things for Howard to say

00:47:31.150 --> 00:47:35.170
to insult me, which is, it's a hard thing to

00:47:35.170 --> 00:47:38.550
wrap your head around. Same thing when Billy

00:47:38.550 --> 00:47:41.829
West, who was the most talented guy ever, was

00:47:41.829 --> 00:47:44.530
doing the Jackie puppet. I'd write insults for

00:47:44.530 --> 00:47:48.269
the Jackie puppet to insult me. So he's holding

00:47:48.269 --> 00:47:52.829
a puppet of me, insulting me with jokes I wrote.

00:47:53.670 --> 00:47:56.429
Billy says that. They put out a documentary about

00:47:56.429 --> 00:48:00.110
me. And Billy says that and he says, he said,

00:48:00.190 --> 00:48:04.530
man, that's Twilight Zone, man. Totally. Really

00:48:04.530 --> 00:48:08.800
great. Great. I remember a segment back, Chad,

00:48:08.860 --> 00:48:11.119
did you have something? Well, I was going to

00:48:11.119 --> 00:48:13.139
ask. So you were obviously there when the Whack

00:48:13.139 --> 00:48:15.639
Pack started, right? Who was the first Whack

00:48:15.639 --> 00:48:20.639
Packer? I coined that phrase. You did? Wow. That's

00:48:20.639 --> 00:48:25.300
great. Yeah. Yeah. And I think I think Captain

00:48:25.300 --> 00:48:27.980
Shanks, this guy that used to make weird phone

00:48:27.980 --> 00:48:31.119
calls and he did all kinds of odd stuff. And

00:48:31.119 --> 00:48:35.820
he was I mean, his early calls, he was so strange.

00:48:35.940 --> 00:48:39.460
We didn't know who or what he was. But if it

00:48:39.460 --> 00:48:42.679
was interesting at all, if Howard or we got a

00:48:42.679 --> 00:48:47.480
kick out of it, pursue it. And I think he was

00:48:47.480 --> 00:48:52.199
the first guy. And I don't know at what point.

00:48:52.809 --> 00:48:55.710
But there were two or three of them at some point.

00:48:56.170 --> 00:48:57.889
And, you know, it was like then crackhead Bob

00:48:57.889 --> 00:49:01.389
came in the picture somewhere and maybe Celeste

00:49:01.389 --> 00:49:03.869
with the bad leg. And after it was a couple of

00:49:03.869 --> 00:49:06.110
them, Howard said, oh, yeah, we've got crackhead

00:49:06.110 --> 00:49:08.949
Bob tomorrow. And when we got a call from Captain

00:49:08.949 --> 00:49:12.489
Janx and I wrote and he said, you know, the whack

00:49:12.489 --> 00:49:15.969
pack, which is so funny because now for all practical

00:49:15.969 --> 00:49:18.789
purposes, I'm a member of the whack pack, except

00:49:18.789 --> 00:49:22.659
they get on the air and I don't, you know. But

00:49:22.659 --> 00:49:26.280
it's great. That's funny. It's great fun. So,

00:49:26.579 --> 00:49:29.239
Jackie, with the joke hunt that started after

00:49:29.239 --> 00:49:32.659
you left the show, like, was this just something

00:49:32.659 --> 00:49:36.119
that, like, you had, like, you wanted to do or

00:49:36.119 --> 00:49:38.119
was this something that you were asked to do?

00:49:38.139 --> 00:49:41.000
Like, how did that come about? You know, it's

00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:43.760
not a believable story, but the truth of it is

00:49:43.760 --> 00:49:46.280
none of these stories are believable. I mean,

00:49:46.280 --> 00:49:48.079
the whole story, the Howard Stern show, if somebody

00:49:48.079 --> 00:49:50.239
made it up, you wouldn't believe it. But since

00:49:50.239 --> 00:49:53.159
it actually happened. And I used to go in when

00:49:53.159 --> 00:50:02.199
Sirius XM first started. It was XM. And when

00:50:02.199 --> 00:50:05.400
my, I had put out a joke book in like 1998, and

00:50:05.400 --> 00:50:07.960
they had a big party for me at Caroline's. And

00:50:07.960 --> 00:50:10.800
this guy, he's dead now, but this terrific guy,

00:50:10.980 --> 00:50:13.579
Mark Parento, came up to me and said, hey, do

00:50:13.579 --> 00:50:17.000
you want me to play your CDs on the radio? And

00:50:17.000 --> 00:50:18.619
I said, did you ever listen to one of them? He

00:50:18.619 --> 00:50:20.559
says, what? I love them. I got to memorize them.

00:50:20.559 --> 00:50:22.659
I said, well, they're so filthy. You can't play

00:50:22.659 --> 00:50:25.380
two sets. He said, no. We're coming up with a

00:50:25.380 --> 00:50:27.900
thing called satellite radio that's uncensored.

00:50:28.619 --> 00:50:30.420
I said, well, if you ever do that, give me a

00:50:30.420 --> 00:50:34.579
call. So years later, after I was already off

00:50:34.579 --> 00:50:40.440
the show, Howard must have given me a plug. Sometimes

00:50:40.440 --> 00:50:43.730
we'd be killing so badly, he'd say, listen. Whatever

00:50:43.730 --> 00:50:45.869
you do, make sure you see Jackie at the Riviera

00:50:45.869 --> 00:50:48.989
in Las Vegas. That must have been embedded into

00:50:48.989 --> 00:50:52.710
a best of. And Mark called me up and said, hey

00:50:52.710 --> 00:50:54.610
Jackie, as long as you're going to be in Las

00:50:54.610 --> 00:50:57.889
Vegas, why don't you come to the CES show? We're

00:50:57.889 --> 00:51:00.929
going to have a booth for XM radio, that uncensored

00:51:00.929 --> 00:51:04.210
radio I told you about. And I said, well, I'm

00:51:04.210 --> 00:51:06.670
not even on the show anymore. I'm on Long Island.

00:51:06.690 --> 00:51:09.250
But if you fly me out to Vegas, I'll do whatever

00:51:09.250 --> 00:51:11.849
you want. So he flew me out to Vegas. We stayed

00:51:11.849 --> 00:51:14.809
at the Palms and it was just the greatest time

00:51:14.809 --> 00:51:17.630
in the world. And they had set up one station,

00:51:18.309 --> 00:51:20.789
I mean, one channel. So they have it all like

00:51:20.789 --> 00:51:24.730
Bobby Slayton and the guys from Yes, it was a

00:51:24.730 --> 00:51:29.449
potpourri. And they're pumping out this stuff.

00:51:29.710 --> 00:51:32.250
There was no serious, serious radio didn't even

00:51:32.250 --> 00:51:34.929
have satellites up yet. But they're promoting

00:51:34.929 --> 00:51:38.909
the hell out of all this on the CES show. And

00:51:41.719 --> 00:51:44.599
So I was enamored with this and then it became

00:51:44.599 --> 00:51:47.239
a thing in New York. And I had a good friend

00:51:47.239 --> 00:51:50.820
that I ran into who was a younger guy, this guy,

00:51:50.980 --> 00:51:54.000
Phil. And he was a huge fan and he had a show

00:51:54.000 --> 00:51:57.820
at noon. I don't think it wasn't called raw dog

00:51:57.820 --> 00:52:00.139
yet. I think it was just the comedy channel or

00:52:00.139 --> 00:52:05.139
whatever. And he had a show called Not Phil's

00:52:05.139 --> 00:52:07.480
Show or something stupid. It was an hour show

00:52:07.480 --> 00:52:10.519
and he'd have me on. And just like somebody would

00:52:10.519 --> 00:52:13.760
call in with a song request, he took requests

00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:16.599
and people would call in with a comedian request.

00:52:17.059 --> 00:52:19.320
And if somebody said, play some Red Fox or play

00:52:19.320 --> 00:52:23.260
some Dice Clay or Sam Kennison, I had a story

00:52:23.260 --> 00:52:25.619
about all of them because I knew everybody. So

00:52:25.619 --> 00:52:28.900
I'd tell a silly little story and it was so much

00:52:28.900 --> 00:52:31.920
fun and we really enjoyed it. And at one point

00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:34.199
they were going to make me the voice of raw dog.

00:52:34.940 --> 00:52:38.619
And all of a sudden they said, the deal is off.

00:52:38.809 --> 00:52:41.010
because we think we got Howard Stern coming on

00:52:41.010 --> 00:52:46.750
here. Wow. And I thought, why bullshit me? Because

00:52:46.750 --> 00:52:50.010
in my mind, there was no way that Howard was

00:52:50.010 --> 00:52:54.050
ever going to go to satellite radio, because

00:52:54.050 --> 00:52:57.610
dancing around the rules and not cursing was

00:52:57.610 --> 00:53:01.710
the whole show. Right. Batting up batting your

00:53:01.710 --> 00:53:04.789
nose up against the man. And, you know, being

00:53:04.789 --> 00:53:08.789
careful not to tread over the line. I said, all

00:53:08.789 --> 00:53:10.170
of a sudden, if you're going to play in a football

00:53:10.170 --> 00:53:13.869
field with no lines on the field, no score. And

00:53:13.869 --> 00:53:15.530
then all of a sudden, a couple of months later,

00:53:16.530 --> 00:53:19.510
of course, there Howard was. And I thought, well,

00:53:19.510 --> 00:53:22.530
at least they weren't lying. So I went in there

00:53:22.530 --> 00:53:26.590
with Phil one day. It's so funny. You'd have

00:53:26.590 --> 00:53:32.130
to see how serious, like Howard's new studio

00:53:32.130 --> 00:53:36.289
was way at the end. and Phil would operate out

00:53:36.289 --> 00:53:39.110
of a studio at the other end. And of course,

00:53:39.250 --> 00:53:40.750
every time I went in there, people say, oh, you

00:53:40.750 --> 00:53:42.570
got to see the studio, they're building for Howard,

00:53:42.670 --> 00:53:44.590
and they take me down and show like, I don't

00:53:44.590 --> 00:53:47.170
want to, all right. And they were putting together

00:53:47.170 --> 00:53:51.389
this amazing thing. And then he came on. And

00:53:51.389 --> 00:53:54.449
one day after they were ensconced there, I got

00:53:54.449 --> 00:53:57.030
done with Phil and I walked out the door and

00:53:57.030 --> 00:53:59.849
Gary was standing there. He said, hey, you want

00:53:59.849 --> 00:54:03.369
to see the new studio? I didn't want to say I

00:54:03.369 --> 00:54:05.070
saw it already, because I would have got somebody

00:54:05.070 --> 00:54:07.329
in trouble. I said, sure. So we get down. And

00:54:07.329 --> 00:54:11.230
of course, it's ridiculous. So beautiful. And

00:54:11.230 --> 00:54:14.869
we leave out of a different door. And Tim Sabian

00:54:14.869 --> 00:54:17.550
standing because, hey, Jackie, how come you don't

00:54:17.550 --> 00:54:20.070
have a show on Sirius? I said, well, nobody ever

00:54:20.070 --> 00:54:22.469
asked me. He said, well, you should have a show.

00:54:22.710 --> 00:54:26.090
Should have a show on the Stern channels. I said,

00:54:26.090 --> 00:54:28.949
sure. So he says, really? And I said, yeah. And

00:54:28.949 --> 00:54:32.269
I looked up and there was like a hole in the

00:54:32.269 --> 00:54:36.949
calendar. I said, Tuesdays, five o 'clock, right

00:54:36.949 --> 00:54:39.369
there, give me a show. He said, all right. So

00:54:39.369 --> 00:54:42.010
we talked about it and it got knocked around

00:54:42.010 --> 00:54:45.409
a little bit. So then one day, Howard invites

00:54:45.409 --> 00:54:48.309
me to go out to dinner. We go out to dinner and

00:54:48.309 --> 00:54:51.869
he says, so you want to have a show on series?

00:54:51.969 --> 00:54:53.489
I said, yeah, it'd be fun. I'll tell a lot of

00:54:53.489 --> 00:54:56.150
jokes, you know, the whole thing. He says, yeah,

00:54:56.150 --> 00:55:01.829
all right. And then it wound up that Jackie had

00:55:01.829 --> 00:55:05.809
gone to Howard and begged for his own show. But

00:55:05.809 --> 00:55:09.190
that's how things get translated. That's just

00:55:09.190 --> 00:55:11.849
how it happens. And I didn't care. And I was

00:55:11.849 --> 00:55:14.769
going to get a show. And I got the bright idea,

00:55:14.929 --> 00:55:17.150
why don't I get a partner? And I called my old

00:55:17.150 --> 00:55:20.670
friend Ian Carr. And we had Jackie's joke hunt

00:55:20.670 --> 00:55:24.829
for... eight years. It was an hour of filthy,

00:55:24.889 --> 00:55:29.710
filthy jokes. And it was so much fun. We got

00:55:29.710 --> 00:55:32.570
paid very little. And they said, well, you know,

00:55:32.570 --> 00:55:35.550
it's only going to be on, you know, once. And

00:55:35.550 --> 00:55:37.570
then they wound up playing it six times a week.

00:55:37.710 --> 00:55:39.809
They'd repeat it whenever they wanted, which

00:55:39.809 --> 00:55:41.969
was fine with me because it was all good for

00:55:41.969 --> 00:55:44.849
me. And we had everybody on. We had the original

00:55:44.849 --> 00:55:49.070
Jersey Boys sang a couple songs. We had Sid Bernstein

00:55:49.070 --> 00:55:51.969
that brought the Beatles to America. We had Pat

00:55:51.969 --> 00:55:55.429
Cooper a bunch of times and Bobby Slayton and

00:55:55.429 --> 00:55:57.789
Steve Sharippa from the Sopranos who was an old

00:55:57.789 --> 00:56:01.989
friend from the Riviera and everybody come on

00:56:01.989 --> 00:56:04.150
and I'd give them a joke to read and they'd read

00:56:04.150 --> 00:56:06.309
the joke and I yelled them for telling it wrong

00:56:06.309 --> 00:56:10.710
and it was a free -for -all and we did 402 shows

00:56:10.710 --> 00:56:15.030
of solid jokes and everybody just and one day

00:56:15.030 --> 00:56:18.130
they just pulled the plug that new woman came

00:56:18.130 --> 00:56:21.530
in who had a string around Howard's balls, and

00:56:21.530 --> 00:56:26.690
they just said, okay, you're done. This must

00:56:26.690 --> 00:56:29.610
be the famous Jennifer Witts, I think, maybe.

00:56:30.849 --> 00:56:34.530
Is that her name, Jennifer Witts? No, no. Oh,

00:56:34.590 --> 00:56:41.010
no? All I know is that I had known Howard for

00:56:41.010 --> 00:56:46.090
18 years, and he got married, and he invited

00:56:46.090 --> 00:56:48.659
people to his wedding that he had met. a month

00:56:48.659 --> 00:56:51.860
before and he didn't invite me to the wedding

00:56:51.860 --> 00:56:54.940
and people said are you crazy but I said no he

00:56:54.940 --> 00:56:57.019
can't invite me to his wedding because if one

00:56:57.019 --> 00:56:59.659
person comes up to him and says wow it's really

00:56:59.659 --> 00:57:03.139
nice to see Jackie again that'll wreck his whole

00:57:03.139 --> 00:57:06.099
night so then they fired us and a couple weeks

00:57:06.099 --> 00:57:10.619
later they had the Christmas party that they

00:57:10.619 --> 00:57:13.920
had every year and me and Ian weren't invited

00:57:13.920 --> 00:57:17.329
to the Christmas party And then they had a huge,

00:57:17.429 --> 00:57:19.989
I think it was 60th birthday party for Howard,

00:57:20.070 --> 00:57:23.150
where they invited everybody in the world. And

00:57:23.150 --> 00:57:24.710
all my friends were like, Jackie, can I come

00:57:24.710 --> 00:57:26.769
as a plus one? I want to go to the birthday party.

00:57:27.849 --> 00:57:29.610
And they wouldn't believe me when I told them

00:57:29.610 --> 00:57:32.210
I wasn't invited. I mean, everybody and their

00:57:32.210 --> 00:57:35.050
mother was invited to a 60th birthday party,

00:57:35.489 --> 00:57:39.630
except for me, which was almost, almost flattering.

00:57:40.449 --> 00:57:42.980
You know, almost flattering. And I don't... I

00:57:42.980 --> 00:57:45.320
understand, you know, and I don't say this with

00:57:45.320 --> 00:57:50.280
any, you know, vile or anything. It's just that's,

00:57:50.280 --> 00:57:53.139
that's how it works. You know, yeah, that's nice,

00:57:53.960 --> 00:57:56.880
you know, you're so the way like, I hear you

00:57:56.880 --> 00:57:58.559
describing those things. And you're just like,

00:57:58.780 --> 00:58:01.300
real nice, like, kind of with everything you

00:58:01.300 --> 00:58:02.719
say, but I hear some of those things. I'm like,

00:58:02.780 --> 00:58:04.880
why wouldn't he invite Jackie to there? And you

00:58:04.880 --> 00:58:07.699
just kind of like, that is, that is the question.

00:58:08.800 --> 00:58:12.300
I'm telling you. You know because people would

00:58:12.300 --> 00:58:14.940
have been glad to see me and it would have been

00:58:14.940 --> 00:58:18.539
You know, no, I guess maybe I stepped on his

00:58:18.539 --> 00:58:22.340
foot in 1994. I don't know but Nobody's ever

00:58:22.340 --> 00:58:25.039
asked nobody. It's never been answered. Who knows,

00:58:25.039 --> 00:58:29.800
you know One of one other thing for you Jackie

00:58:29.800 --> 00:58:32.579
because I know you got a tight schedule here

00:58:32.579 --> 00:58:37.769
when they Got another gig in December you asshole

00:58:37.769 --> 00:58:42.349
sweet, so will we go until then let's go But

00:58:42.349 --> 00:58:44.269
Jackie people used to call up the Howard Stern

00:58:44.269 --> 00:58:47.150
show and they would give jokes and try to stump

00:58:47.150 --> 00:58:50.010
you with them And you would say the punchline

00:58:50.010 --> 00:58:53.449
now is this because you have like known these

00:58:53.449 --> 00:58:56.369
jokes for a long time or we just this is one

00:58:56.369 --> 00:59:00.670
of the first after After I've been in comedy

00:59:00.670 --> 00:59:06.429
a while There was a guy on Long Island named

00:59:06.429 --> 00:59:08.550
Kevin Sullivan. He did a thing called Stump the

00:59:08.550 --> 00:59:11.610
Band, and people would say, Bruce Springsteen.

00:59:11.909 --> 00:59:13.789
Of course, he'd have a Bruce Springsteen song,

00:59:14.050 --> 00:59:15.429
and he'd play it, and it'd usually be a funny

00:59:15.429 --> 00:59:20.690
parody. There was nobody that could yell out

00:59:20.690 --> 00:59:22.329
that he wouldn't have a song. I thought that

00:59:22.329 --> 00:59:24.429
was fun. I said, well, I could do that with jokes.

00:59:25.190 --> 00:59:27.190
At the end of my show, I would say, all right,

00:59:27.789 --> 00:59:31.300
let's play. You know, you give me a subject and

00:59:31.300 --> 00:59:33.460
I'll give you a joke and people yell a subject

00:59:33.460 --> 00:59:36.000
and I give them a joke and if they gave me too

00:59:36.000 --> 00:59:38.400
narrow a subject I would just open the umbrella

00:59:38.400 --> 00:59:40.900
a little bit, you know, if somebody said garlic

00:59:40.900 --> 00:59:43.320
toast I said alright Italian food, you know,

00:59:43.639 --> 00:59:45.420
and before they knew it I was telling the Italian

00:59:45.420 --> 00:59:48.619
joke and it was always fun and after I'd been

00:59:48.619 --> 00:59:51.139
on the show three weeks or four weeks Howard

00:59:51.139 --> 00:59:53.900
said You know, it's so great having you on the

00:59:53.900 --> 00:59:56.980
show, but I really I wish we had a piece of business

00:59:57.260 --> 00:59:59.400
I said, well, I do this thing at my shows where

00:59:59.400 --> 01:00:02.199
people give me a subject and I give them a joke.

01:00:02.199 --> 01:00:04.579
He says, well, you know what? We'll do that,

01:00:04.659 --> 01:00:07.260
but we'll do it with two line jokes and we'll

01:00:07.260 --> 01:00:10.500
call it Stump the Comedians. And I said, sounds

01:00:10.500 --> 01:00:13.380
fine with me. And then we started doing it. Of

01:00:13.380 --> 01:00:17.719
course, anybody that called up is going to tell

01:00:17.719 --> 01:00:20.960
a black joke or a joke. You know, they were always

01:00:20.960 --> 01:00:23.340
offensive and jokes that you really couldn't

01:00:23.340 --> 01:00:27.860
tell on radio. So I wound up giving a bunch of

01:00:27.860 --> 01:00:30.539
jokes to Fred Norris and he would call in from

01:00:30.539 --> 01:00:34.639
the other room as this woman mrs. Flemsteen Which

01:00:34.639 --> 01:00:37.199
is I don't know if you guys go back that far

01:00:37.199 --> 01:00:41.219
But all these stories are so priceless there

01:00:41.219 --> 01:00:44.559
was a guy there was a guy I worked with in Florida

01:00:44.559 --> 01:00:48.360
at the comic strip named Kelly Rogers who's still

01:00:48.360 --> 01:00:51.219
around just a great great guy really really funny

01:00:51.219 --> 01:00:55.429
guy when I met him he was the the MC one of the

01:00:55.429 --> 01:00:58.630
MCs that catch a rising star and I loved them

01:00:58.630 --> 01:01:00.329
and then we wound up working together at the

01:01:00.329 --> 01:01:03.150
Florida comic strip everybody worked down there,

01:01:03.210 --> 01:01:05.690
you know, Brian Regan was sweeping floors down

01:01:05.690 --> 01:01:11.329
there and on Sunday nights The art of the manager

01:01:11.329 --> 01:01:15.510
wouldn't show up. So it was like You know the

01:01:15.510 --> 01:01:17.469
idiots took over the building, you know, we did

01:01:17.469 --> 01:01:21.369
whatever we wanted and Kelly Rogers would do

01:01:21.949 --> 01:01:25.250
this guy called Shecky Flemsteen and he'd tell

01:01:25.250 --> 01:01:28.909
horrible old Jewish jokes. And I thought Flemsteen

01:01:28.909 --> 01:01:32.750
is the funniest name I've ever heard. Fred is

01:01:32.750 --> 01:01:35.329
calling in with these jokes and you couldn't

01:01:35.329 --> 01:01:37.929
tell if it was supposed to be an old man or an

01:01:37.929 --> 01:01:40.929
old lady. It was very ambiguous what he was doing.

01:01:42.030 --> 01:01:44.230
He called up and after a couple weeks of doing

01:01:44.230 --> 01:01:47.659
that, he called up and said, oh, Is that Mrs.

01:01:47.900 --> 01:01:49.840
Flemsteen again? Yeah, what do you want? And

01:01:49.840 --> 01:01:53.380
all of a sudden, he was Mrs. Flemsteen. And after

01:01:53.380 --> 01:01:56.059
a couple more weeks, at some point, Robin said,

01:01:56.559 --> 01:02:00.239
oh, where did we get the name Mrs. Flemsteen?

01:02:00.880 --> 01:02:03.639
And I said, I came up with that. She says, oh,

01:02:03.679 --> 01:02:07.019
right, like you came up, oh, Jackie came up with.

01:02:07.159 --> 01:02:09.940
So meanwhile, They're not giving me credit for

01:02:09.940 --> 01:02:12.679
coming up with it. And I got Kelly Rogers pissed

01:02:12.679 --> 01:02:15.239
off at me for stealing the name from them. I'm

01:02:15.239 --> 01:02:17.360
like, I can't win for losers. Somebody make up

01:02:17.360 --> 01:02:20.159
your mind. I can't be guilty of everything. He

01:02:20.159 --> 01:02:23.760
wasn't really mad. It's just funny. But I lifted

01:02:23.760 --> 01:02:25.659
it from a comic and she wouldn't give me credit.

01:02:26.539 --> 01:02:31.079
But that was very typical and it was fine. So

01:02:31.079 --> 01:02:34.539
that's what happened. And then it became a thing.

01:02:34.829 --> 01:02:36.989
where people knew that they couldn't get on unless

01:02:36.989 --> 01:02:38.949
there was something that could slide under the

01:02:38.949 --> 01:02:42.250
wire and I always knew the jokes because anybody's

01:02:42.250 --> 01:02:45.130
gonna call with a joke it's gonna be a joke that's

01:02:45.130 --> 01:02:47.789
going around they're not right up or making them

01:02:47.789 --> 01:02:50.809
up so of course I knew the answers to them and

01:02:50.809 --> 01:02:53.090
of course I knew the answers to the one the ones

01:02:53.090 --> 01:02:55.869
that Fred was asking and people would you know

01:02:55.869 --> 01:02:57.610
they said they would drive off the road they

01:02:57.610 --> 01:03:00.250
couldn't believe it it was no magic trick it

01:03:00.250 --> 01:03:03.099
was it was actually pretty simple But I did the

01:03:03.099 --> 01:03:05.519
end of my shows for decades at the end of my

01:03:05.519 --> 01:03:10.739
shows. I bring up 8 or 10 or 12 girls on the

01:03:10.739 --> 01:03:14.460
stage and interview them like what's your name

01:03:14.460 --> 01:03:16.440
and I would say stuff that would get me locked

01:03:16.440 --> 01:03:19.599
up now you know talk about their boobs or your

01:03:19.599 --> 01:03:21.860
pants are so tight I can read your lips that

01:03:21.860 --> 01:03:25.300
kind of stuff you know and would be upset but

01:03:25.300 --> 01:03:27.639
they when they came up on stage they knew what

01:03:27.639 --> 01:03:30.360
was going to happen we'd have so much fun and

01:03:30.360 --> 01:03:33.510
then I had the guys stand up. in place, and I'd

01:03:33.510 --> 01:03:35.550
say, and I'd do them first. And the guy would

01:03:35.550 --> 01:03:37.550
say, they're set up, and I'd tell them the punch

01:03:37.550 --> 01:03:39.949
line. And they'd say, and the crowd would go

01:03:39.949 --> 01:03:42.869
nuts. But once in a while, somebody'd stump me

01:03:42.869 --> 01:03:45.730
with a joke, and the crowd would go even crazier.

01:03:45.809 --> 01:03:48.530
It was a no -use situation. And I'd throw them

01:03:48.530 --> 01:03:51.349
a shirt, and they'd wave the shirt, and I'd do

01:03:51.349 --> 01:03:55.039
the girls one at a time. And it was just the

01:03:55.039 --> 01:03:57.199
most fun thing in the world. I got Stump the

01:03:57.199 --> 01:03:59.320
Jokeman shirts. You guys want, I'll send you

01:03:59.320 --> 01:04:01.940
a Stump the Jokeman shirt. I still got gray ones,

01:04:01.940 --> 01:04:05.260
but I had pink ones, blue ones, green ones, white

01:04:05.260 --> 01:04:08.780
ones, black ones. You know, it was me and Nancy

01:04:08.780 --> 01:04:11.139
couldn't spend the money any faster if we tried

01:04:11.139 --> 01:04:14.179
because I never had any money. And now all of

01:04:14.179 --> 01:04:16.099
a sudden we've got hundreds of thousands of dollars.

01:04:16.260 --> 01:04:18.880
Like, when did this happen? You know, right.

01:04:19.039 --> 01:04:21.719
It was just an exciting ride, just an exciting

01:04:21.719 --> 01:04:24.909
ride. So cool. So that was kind of your first

01:04:24.909 --> 01:04:27.409
foray into acting. Like it was kind of like these

01:04:27.409 --> 01:04:28.989
little setups you have. You didn't have like

01:04:28.989 --> 01:04:31.050
direct lines or anything, but you kind of were

01:04:31.050 --> 01:04:35.010
doing some acting on the, it was all improv,

01:04:35.170 --> 01:04:37.789
but you know, there's certain lines. So a lot

01:04:37.789 --> 01:04:40.670
of improv is you say something off the cuff and

01:04:40.670 --> 01:04:44.210
it works. So you use it again. You know, somebody

01:04:44.210 --> 01:04:46.510
say, Oh, was that an improv? Did you improv that?

01:04:46.650 --> 01:04:50.489
I said, yeah. 25 years ago, you know, a great

01:04:50.679 --> 01:04:53.960
instance. And my favorite thing is I was working

01:04:53.960 --> 01:04:59.219
at Governor's in the early 80s. And I was taking

01:04:59.219 --> 01:05:01.559
questions from the audience and a guy stood up

01:05:01.559 --> 01:05:05.800
and I said, What's your name? And he said, Jay.

01:05:06.119 --> 01:05:11.239
And I said, second letter. And the place went

01:05:11.239 --> 01:05:14.960
nuts. 20 years later, 20 years later, I'm working

01:05:14.960 --> 01:05:17.039
at rascals. And I asked the guy, What's your

01:05:17.039 --> 01:05:20.690
name? And he said, Jay. And I said, second letter,

01:05:20.710 --> 01:05:23.489
and the crowd went nuts. And I said, I've been

01:05:23.489 --> 01:05:27.909
saving that for 20 fucking years. It's just so

01:05:27.909 --> 01:05:32.929
funny. That kind of stuff is just, you live for

01:05:32.929 --> 01:05:34.690
that. Even though it means nothing to anybody,

01:05:34.769 --> 01:05:37.670
it just makes me smile. That's funny. Yeah, man.

01:05:38.710 --> 01:05:40.730
You've been waiting 25 years to get it, and you

01:05:40.730 --> 01:05:44.349
got it that time. It's sitting in my quiver,

01:05:44.409 --> 01:05:47.550
just waiting to get shot. That's all. You're

01:05:47.550 --> 01:05:55.349
sitting in your Robin quiver. No, no, I never

01:05:55.349 --> 01:05:58.789
had sex with her Don't lie. You've been so honest

01:05:58.789 --> 01:06:01.610
on this Joe. I I fingered her but I never had

01:06:01.610 --> 01:06:11.550
sex with Yes You should have used you should

01:06:11.550 --> 01:06:17.030
use Howard's nose then I didn't say that. No,

01:06:17.030 --> 01:06:21.000
that's right me Jackie, I got some fun. One of

01:06:21.000 --> 01:06:24.739
the turning points in the show, you know, he

01:06:24.739 --> 01:06:29.659
was funny and he was so smart and the greatest

01:06:29.659 --> 01:06:33.260
thing, somebody came up to me one time and said,

01:06:33.440 --> 01:06:35.480
you know, I was a big listener when I lived in

01:06:35.480 --> 01:06:38.699
Washington to the Howard Stern show. And then

01:06:38.699 --> 01:06:42.039
I moved to New York and I heard you on the show.

01:06:42.139 --> 01:06:45.579
And he said, you know, before you came on the

01:06:45.579 --> 01:06:50.650
show, Howard was outrageous and funny. But with

01:06:50.650 --> 01:06:55.469
you there, he's funny and outrageous. In other

01:06:55.469 --> 01:06:57.789
words, he was leading with the funny and you

01:06:57.789 --> 01:06:59.789
we all know you can get away with murder. You

01:06:59.789 --> 01:07:02.630
can insult the class bully if you can make them

01:07:02.630 --> 01:07:05.849
laugh. You know, and that was that was just,

01:07:05.849 --> 01:07:11.349
you know, so great. And, you know, Howard was

01:07:11.349 --> 01:07:13.889
like, you know, he was the guy and everybody's

01:07:13.889 --> 01:07:18.070
like kind of Treaded on on eggshells even Robin

01:07:18.070 --> 01:07:20.530
everybody in like not me. What did I get? I'm

01:07:20.530 --> 01:07:25.849
a comic. I don't give a fuck sorry we were talking

01:07:25.849 --> 01:07:30.489
about something and I Don't know what he was

01:07:30.489 --> 01:07:33.309
saying something about the press was being rough

01:07:33.309 --> 01:07:40.130
on him and she And I wrote something and it was

01:07:40.130 --> 01:07:45.670
self -effacing which he didn't do He really didn't,

01:07:45.829 --> 01:07:47.730
you know, and he wound up being one of the strongest

01:07:47.730 --> 01:07:52.469
arrows in his quiver. He was complaining and

01:07:52.469 --> 01:07:59.530
he goes, walk a mile in my nose, Robin. And it

01:07:59.530 --> 01:08:04.110
was so funny. And it was him making fun of him.

01:08:04.989 --> 01:08:08.789
And that just put him in a different, that was

01:08:08.789 --> 01:08:13.449
like. You know that that was just a nice little

01:08:13.449 --> 01:08:16.470
you know, yeah That's the word that I couldn't

01:08:16.470 --> 01:08:19.470
think of at 77 years old, but it was pivotal

01:08:19.470 --> 01:08:23.149
I don't know if anybody ever agree with that

01:08:23.149 --> 01:08:26.510
admit it or acknowledge it But it really was

01:08:26.510 --> 01:08:29.369
and then you know when when he fucked with himself

01:08:29.369 --> 01:08:34.250
was always funny, you know agreed Jackie just

01:08:34.250 --> 01:08:36.270
so you know, the ladies of the audience are saying

01:08:36.270 --> 01:08:39.369
that you look so great for 77. What's the secret?

01:08:39.940 --> 01:08:43.180
They say you look better now. I'm really 57,

01:08:43.239 --> 01:08:45.699
but I've been telling them I'm 77, so people

01:08:45.699 --> 01:08:51.380
feel sorry for me. Smart. All right, so I got

01:08:51.380 --> 01:08:55.880
11. God, Jackie, I'm sorry. No, I'd love to say

01:08:55.880 --> 01:08:58.380
I take care of myself, but I do. I haven't had

01:08:58.380 --> 01:09:01.680
a drink in 25 years, but I think I smoke enough

01:09:01.680 --> 01:09:06.619
coffee makeup for it. And I have fun, and I just

01:09:06.619 --> 01:09:08.840
started swimming again. I live right on the water.

01:09:09.210 --> 01:09:12.310
and it's heavenly and I've actually been on a

01:09:12.310 --> 01:09:14.930
diet and lost 15 pounds and I'm just thrilled

01:09:14.930 --> 01:09:18.029
about that but you know if you live on the water

01:09:18.029 --> 01:09:20.890
and you and you walk you know even in the winter

01:09:20.890 --> 01:09:24.189
you walk like I played golf yesterday like it's

01:09:24.189 --> 01:09:26.310
kind of an exaggeration to call it golf but I

01:09:26.310 --> 01:09:29.529
walked around 18 holes yesterday and you get

01:09:29.529 --> 01:09:32.310
a little bit of a tan that makes anybody look

01:09:32.310 --> 01:09:34.890
better you know so whoever's saying I look better

01:09:34.890 --> 01:09:38.880
thank you I appreciate that and write me an email

01:09:38.880 --> 01:09:42.439
and I'll go down on you. Yeah, there's a new

01:09:42.439 --> 01:09:44.640
term I've seen floating around for people that

01:09:44.640 --> 01:09:47.380
I don't drink, but, you know, smoke some pot.

01:09:47.600 --> 01:09:51.460
It's called California sober. Yeah, I've just

01:09:51.460 --> 01:09:53.140
I've just seen it like in the past two weeks.

01:09:53.140 --> 01:09:55.479
I'm like, what? OK, that makes sense. California.

01:09:55.619 --> 01:09:58.239
So anybody anybody has any questions? People

01:09:58.239 --> 01:10:00.779
always don't believe they do this, but anybody

01:10:00.779 --> 01:10:04.590
can email me. Jokeland. at AOL .com. Obviously,

01:10:04.729 --> 01:10:06.569
it didn't work for you morons because you couldn't

01:10:06.569 --> 01:10:08.569
get an email through to me. I even looked in

01:10:08.569 --> 01:10:11.310
the spam. You must be typing with your elbows.

01:10:12.130 --> 01:10:16.310
I must be. Jokeland at AOL, J -O -K -E -L -A

01:10:16.310 --> 01:10:20.310
-N -D at AOL .com. I answer, well, you know,

01:10:20.369 --> 01:10:23.970
I got a bunch of people that work for me. Me.

01:10:25.610 --> 01:10:28.329
email me, I would love to answer you. And I'm

01:10:28.329 --> 01:10:31.449
in the show on Amazon Prime now. Yes. Which is

01:10:31.449 --> 01:10:33.350
great. I'm getting emails from people I haven't

01:10:33.350 --> 01:10:36.310
heard from in decades. Like, they usually start

01:10:36.310 --> 01:10:38.329
with, you're still alive? You know, one of those

01:10:38.329 --> 01:10:43.350
things. It's called The Better Sister. And I

01:10:43.350 --> 01:10:45.970
have a very small role in it. And my house has

01:10:45.970 --> 01:10:48.989
a very small role in it. But it's a murder mystery.

01:10:48.989 --> 01:10:51.510
And it's terrific. And everybody's loving it.

01:10:51.810 --> 01:10:54.149
And my favorite thing is people tell me I was

01:10:54.189 --> 01:10:56.210
I was going to watch that show anyway. I couldn't

01:10:56.210 --> 01:10:59.109
believe you popped on, which is fun. You know,

01:10:59.189 --> 01:11:02.069
I mean, yeah, I'm not going to retire. I might

01:11:02.069 --> 01:11:04.590
retire from the money when they use your house

01:11:04.590 --> 01:11:08.510
for a TV show. Wow. They just back up the Brink's

01:11:08.510 --> 01:11:11.210
truck. I've had they've used my house five times

01:11:11.210 --> 01:11:15.689
for Blue Bloods and The Affair and Instinct and

01:11:15.689 --> 01:11:17.630
The Better Sister. You know, they're always here

01:11:17.630 --> 01:11:19.890
shooting something and I love it. It's always

01:11:19.890 --> 01:11:22.609
fun. I always and all the people, all the techies.

01:11:22.939 --> 01:11:26.199
All the movie techies and all the TV techies,

01:11:26.640 --> 01:11:29.600
they've all been at their jobs for 40 years.

01:11:30.060 --> 01:11:35.399
And there's so much downtime in television and

01:11:35.399 --> 01:11:38.300
movies that they're sitting around after time.

01:11:38.899 --> 01:11:40.880
So to have something like the Howard Stern Show

01:11:40.880 --> 01:11:43.819
to listen to and laugh at, they all feel like

01:11:43.819 --> 01:11:45.720
they know me. So it's like old home week when

01:11:45.720 --> 01:11:48.800
they show up at my house. So I just love it.

01:11:48.840 --> 01:11:51.869
It's great fun. Why do they use your house because

01:11:51.869 --> 01:11:55.329
your house or is your house? No, no, it's because

01:11:55.329 --> 01:11:58.689
it's a, it's a beautiful home on the water. It's

01:11:58.689 --> 01:12:02.850
not a mansion. It's a, like a regular. Nice house.

01:12:03.369 --> 01:12:05.149
And there's lots of rooms are big. So there's

01:12:05.149 --> 01:12:07.390
plenty of room for the cameras and to move around.

01:12:07.569 --> 01:12:09.750
There's a little bit of property. You'll see.

01:12:09.909 --> 01:12:13.649
I mean, Jackie, I don't want to get to the house

01:12:13.649 --> 01:12:16.399
on the water. You'll know it's my house. Okay,

01:12:16.399 --> 01:12:19.140
I don't want to get you going here But I've heard

01:12:19.140 --> 01:12:21.340
from a lot of people that they weren't gonna

01:12:21.340 --> 01:12:23.939
watch better sister And then they found out you

01:12:23.939 --> 01:12:26.079
were in it and it made them watch it So I think

01:12:26.079 --> 01:12:28.520
you need to go to Amazon and tell them you need

01:12:28.520 --> 01:12:33.859
more money. No They sent me they sent me 25 grand

01:12:33.859 --> 01:12:36.819
in appreciation which which really blew me away

01:12:36.819 --> 01:12:40.140
till I found out somebody You know make it made

01:12:40.140 --> 01:12:42.260
a fake check and sent it to me. It wasn't real.

01:12:42.920 --> 01:12:45.680
Oh Geez, hopefully you didn't try and cash it

01:12:45.680 --> 01:12:51.140
Now, you know, I would love to think it influenced

01:12:51.140 --> 01:12:53.420
one person to watch, but who knows? I also have

01:12:53.420 --> 01:12:57.619
a documentary on Amazon Prime, and people are

01:12:57.619 --> 01:12:59.899
watching that, and they are loving that. And

01:12:59.899 --> 01:13:01.960
people are saying, oh, I didn't know this about

01:13:01.960 --> 01:13:04.880
you. Nobody ever knew anything about me. You

01:13:04.880 --> 01:13:06.659
know, I was the moron on the show that got made

01:13:06.659 --> 01:13:10.239
fun of. There's no reason for anybody to know

01:13:10.239 --> 01:13:12.989
anything more, you know? You know, I was the

01:13:12.989 --> 01:13:15.189
guy in Johnny Carson opening the curtains. Like,

01:13:15.210 --> 01:13:17.850
who gives a fuck, you know? Well, that's kind

01:13:17.850 --> 01:13:19.850
of the beauty of this interview here is that

01:13:19.850 --> 01:13:22.989
you kind of let us behind the curtain of a lot

01:13:22.989 --> 01:13:25.050
of things here that maybe a lot of people, you

01:13:25.050 --> 01:13:27.350
know, weren't aware of, which is kind of cool

01:13:27.350 --> 01:13:29.470
to get that sneak peek. I hope you feel special

01:13:29.470 --> 01:13:33.590
because I've only done about 400 of these. You

01:13:33.590 --> 01:13:37.550
know, the truth of it is, I never get sick of

01:13:37.550 --> 01:13:39.149
talking about it. People come up and say, oh,

01:13:39.149 --> 01:13:41.189
I used to love you on the show, but I'm sure

01:13:41.189 --> 01:13:42.989
you're sick of hearing that. And I always say,

01:13:43.449 --> 01:13:45.710
if I ever get sick of hearing that, put a bullet

01:13:45.710 --> 01:13:49.569
to my head. You know, I chased, you know, for

01:13:49.569 --> 01:13:51.810
40 years, I didn't get a paycheck until I was

01:13:51.810 --> 01:13:54.689
like 38 years old on The Stern Show. You know,

01:13:54.689 --> 01:13:57.510
I spent my whole life chasing and chasing. I

01:13:57.510 --> 01:13:59.789
like people in show business and the movies,

01:14:00.090 --> 01:14:02.149
the television, they say, please, no autograph.

01:14:02.590 --> 01:14:05.310
They've been chasing the crowd for all those

01:14:05.310 --> 01:14:08.029
decades. Now some people are interested. You

01:14:08.029 --> 01:14:10.850
know, some people are just very, very full of

01:14:10.850 --> 01:14:12.989
crap. You know, yeah, I love it. I've always,

01:14:13.310 --> 01:14:15.569
you know, I always had just the right level of

01:14:15.569 --> 01:14:18.489
fame that people didn't harass me and they weren't

01:14:18.489 --> 01:14:21.170
crappy. And they knew I was approachable. So

01:14:21.170 --> 01:14:23.409
they come up and talk and hang out. And here

01:14:23.409 --> 01:14:26.050
in my hometown, I've been a loudmouth for 70

01:14:26.050 --> 01:14:28.670
years. So. You know, it's no big deal to anybody,

01:14:28.670 --> 01:14:32.710
you know. What are you going to do? Great. So,

01:14:32.829 --> 01:14:35.909
Jackie, I have these fun 11 rapper rapid fire

01:14:35.909 --> 01:14:37.649
questions I want to ask you right before we go.

01:14:37.949 --> 01:14:39.970
But I know you got some tour dates coming up.

01:14:39.989 --> 01:14:42.229
So if you want to let the audience know those

01:14:42.229 --> 01:14:44.770
are where they could go to maybe. Well, tour

01:14:44.770 --> 01:14:49.970
tour is a a little bit of exaggeration, but I'm

01:14:49.970 --> 01:14:54.680
working. Are we on live? Yes, sir. Well, I'm

01:14:54.680 --> 01:14:58.560
working in Bohemia on Long Island at McGuire's

01:14:58.560 --> 01:15:02.180
Comedy Club this Saturday at 7 p .m. with my

01:15:02.180 --> 01:15:05.279
good friend Peter Bales, who's also my podcast

01:15:05.279 --> 01:15:08.600
partner. We have a podcast called Stand Up Memories,

01:15:08.720 --> 01:15:11.380
which is just great fun. We talked to all the

01:15:11.380 --> 01:15:14.119
guys we started with and all, you know, we've

01:15:14.119 --> 01:15:16.840
had interesting. We had Robert Klein on. And

01:15:16.840 --> 01:15:19.300
you know who we had on the podcast? You guys

01:15:19.300 --> 01:15:21.319
are too young, but there was a show called Get

01:15:21.319 --> 01:15:24.340
Smart. You ever heard of it? Oh, yeah. It was

01:15:24.340 --> 01:15:29.159
created by Mel Brooks. Well, 99, Barbara Felden

01:15:29.159 --> 01:15:33.579
who played 99 came on our podcast and she's 90

01:15:33.579 --> 01:15:36.739
and 90 years old. And she was wonderful. She

01:15:36.739 --> 01:15:39.439
was so interesting. And that's kind of stuff

01:15:39.439 --> 01:15:41.760
we do. Well, he's my opening act for this Saturday.

01:15:42.640 --> 01:15:47.920
And then July 25th, I'm working at the American,

01:15:48.060 --> 01:15:50.930
which is a hotel. in Freehold, New Jersey, which

01:15:50.930 --> 01:15:56.470
is a great spot for comedy. I played there. Do

01:15:56.470 --> 01:15:59.850
you know it? Do you know the place? Yeah, I played

01:15:59.850 --> 01:16:03.149
there one time. Somebody threw me kind of a paid

01:16:03.149 --> 01:16:05.210
gig there out of nowhere, and I got to play there

01:16:05.210 --> 01:16:09.350
one time. Nice area. For Dino. Yeah, for Dino.

01:16:10.010 --> 01:16:13.270
So the comedian booked me, not the guy who books

01:16:13.270 --> 01:16:17.109
the plays. Oh, well, it's a great place, and

01:16:17.109 --> 01:16:20.670
I always enjoy that. And then every August, I

01:16:20.670 --> 01:16:25.189
work at Giggles, which is in Saugus, north of

01:16:25.189 --> 01:16:28.229
Boston, with Lenny Clark, who's one of the funniest

01:16:28.229 --> 01:16:31.909
people in the world. And me and Lenny Clark and

01:16:31.909 --> 01:16:34.090
Christina Hurley, we've been doing this for like

01:16:34.090 --> 01:16:37.109
five years. We do Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

01:16:37.670 --> 01:16:39.729
And it's a little club. His brother owns it.

01:16:39.729 --> 01:16:41.869
And we just blow the roof off the place. And

01:16:41.869 --> 01:16:46.489
that's really, really fun. But all this information...

01:16:46.640 --> 01:16:52.180
is on my website, which is jokeland .com. And

01:16:52.180 --> 01:16:58.680
there's jokes and, you know, there's video. You

01:16:58.680 --> 01:17:01.819
know, there's merch, but under the video thing,

01:17:02.000 --> 01:17:04.199
I used to do phone calls with this guy, David

01:17:04.199 --> 01:17:08.880
Feldman. And it's like 10 or 15 minutes of the

01:17:08.880 --> 01:17:11.420
filthiest jokes you've ever heard in your life.

01:17:12.899 --> 01:17:15.739
And there's like... You know, we did over a hundred

01:17:15.739 --> 01:17:17.779
of them. I think there's like six of them posted

01:17:17.779 --> 01:17:20.180
up there. But, you know, people just can't believe

01:17:20.180 --> 01:17:22.840
and they're politically incorrect and fun and,

01:17:22.880 --> 01:17:24.739
you know, fuck the world. You know what I mean?

01:17:24.840 --> 01:17:26.619
Exactly. So you're not worried about getting

01:17:26.619 --> 01:17:29.680
canceled, we'll say. Yeah. Yeah. What are they

01:17:29.680 --> 01:17:31.399
going to say? You're not working at McGuire's

01:17:31.399 --> 01:17:35.979
this weekend. We'll take your podcast away. No

01:17:35.979 --> 01:17:40.159
more shoots at your house. All right, you ready?

01:17:40.659 --> 01:17:43.500
You ready for these 11 rapid fire questions?

01:17:44.130 --> 01:17:48.770
Eight inches. Yes. Uh, so it's just like two

01:17:48.770 --> 01:17:51.630
words or names and you pick one of them. Uh,

01:17:51.649 --> 01:17:54.149
kind of see where your brain's at. High or low?

01:17:56.810 --> 01:18:01.350
High. Okay. Uh, grillo or... Wait, wait. What

01:18:01.350 --> 01:18:05.909
the fuck? Yeah. This -this is a -this is a psychological

01:18:05.909 --> 01:18:09.250
test, so once I get... Who -who... How many people

01:18:09.250 --> 01:18:15.680
have said low? Not many, not many. Maybe the

01:18:15.680 --> 01:18:18.279
guys at Chad's all banned because they're idiots.

01:18:18.960 --> 01:18:24.500
Here you go. Yeah, for sure. But you got you

01:18:24.500 --> 01:18:26.579
got to you got to go in succession here, otherwise

01:18:26.579 --> 01:18:31.180
it won't work. Grillo or stuttering John. Grillo.

01:18:32.039 --> 01:18:39.359
Radio or podcast. Radio. Fred or Gary. Both.

01:18:40.170 --> 01:18:49.289
Black or white? Both. TV or movies? Both. Okay,

01:18:49.289 --> 01:18:56.930
gay or straight? Both. Weed or alcohol? I don't.

01:18:57.090 --> 01:19:02.029
People say, how do you feel about gay people?

01:19:02.149 --> 01:19:12.609
And I say, I don't see color. There you go. Do

01:19:12.609 --> 01:19:15.550
you like guys, gay guys with big penises or small?

01:19:15.689 --> 01:19:17.449
No, that wasn't one of them. That wasn't one

01:19:17.449 --> 01:19:20.689
of them. Weed or alcohol? Yeah, I knew it was

01:19:20.689 --> 01:19:26.210
both. Weed or alcohol, Jackie? Weed, but there

01:19:26.210 --> 01:19:28.930
was a day I might have said both. And before

01:19:28.930 --> 01:19:32.069
that, I would have said alcohol. I put in my

01:19:32.069 --> 01:19:37.050
time at the mahogany. I had a great string of

01:19:37.050 --> 01:19:40.680
drinking, but I needed to stop. Yeah. and you

01:19:40.680 --> 01:19:42.619
and you did it man congratulations for that that's

01:19:42.619 --> 01:19:45.060
not an easy feat absolutely you know i always

01:19:45.060 --> 01:19:47.819
tell people it's ridiculous to congratulate them

01:19:47.819 --> 01:19:50.500
to congratulate something somebody for doing

01:19:50.500 --> 01:19:53.739
something that they didn't do i stopped drinking

01:19:53.739 --> 01:19:56.899
congratulations it's not something i did it's

01:19:56.899 --> 01:19:59.880
something i stopped doing but thank you it's

01:19:59.880 --> 01:20:02.060
still it's still hard to do like if if i had

01:20:02.060 --> 01:20:04.500
to think i don't drink often but if i had to

01:20:04.500 --> 01:20:06.619
like tell myself you could never have a drink

01:20:06.619 --> 01:20:08.920
again that might seem daunting to me and like

01:20:08.920 --> 01:20:13.720
if somebody had told me on on i quit on cycle

01:20:13.720 --> 01:20:17.979
of the mile which was totally by accident if

01:20:17.979 --> 01:20:19.739
somebody had told me you're not going to have

01:20:19.739 --> 01:20:24.239
a drink for 24 days i would have said you're

01:20:24.239 --> 01:20:29.840
out of your mind It's been 24 years. They say

01:20:29.840 --> 01:20:32.640
a day at a time, and people say, well, it's such

01:20:32.640 --> 01:20:37.159
a hard thing to do. But it didn't go anywhere

01:20:37.159 --> 01:20:39.600
for however long. And I said, well, it's ridiculous.

01:20:39.760 --> 01:20:42.539
Anybody can not drink if they sit in their room.

01:20:43.340 --> 01:20:46.619
And then you find out, you go out to a bar, and

01:20:46.619 --> 01:20:51.260
you get a tonic with a lime in it and put a stir

01:20:51.260 --> 01:20:54.460
in it. Number one, nobody knows if you're drinking

01:20:54.460 --> 01:20:58.039
or not. Number two, nobody gives a fuck. They

01:20:58.039 --> 01:21:01.079
don't care. You think everybody's gonna go, you

01:21:01.079 --> 01:21:03.239
shouldn't be in there. You're an imposter. You're

01:21:03.239 --> 01:21:05.699
not drinking. They could care less. And then

01:21:05.699 --> 01:21:07.399
somebody get a drink and stand there and hold

01:21:07.399 --> 01:21:10.819
it for a half hour. And here I am, dry as a bone.

01:21:11.020 --> 01:21:13.479
I feel like saying, are you gonna drink that

01:21:13.479 --> 01:21:17.579
or not? Jesus Christ. I end up not being a big

01:21:17.579 --> 01:21:20.439
deal. And you go out to dinner. You know, I got

01:21:20.439 --> 01:21:23.500
divorced. Me and Nancy got divorced and I got

01:21:23.500 --> 01:21:26.720
the dinner. Is it is it OK if I have a glass

01:21:26.720 --> 01:21:29.539
of wine? Well, fuck yes. How else am I going

01:21:29.539 --> 01:21:36.319
to get the finger you? Exactly. Well, you you

01:21:36.319 --> 01:21:40.119
ruin my last rapid fire question. Howard or Robin?

01:21:42.699 --> 01:21:47.000
Both. I know it. No, as far as what? Just as

01:21:47.000 --> 01:21:49.279
far as like, you know, Gary or Fred, like the

01:21:49.279 --> 01:21:52.300
whole rapid fire thing. I'd rather hang out with

01:21:52.300 --> 01:21:56.159
Howard. Ah, very cool. I could see that actually.

01:21:56.520 --> 01:21:58.920
Robin, while she does come across pretty cool

01:21:58.920 --> 01:22:01.720
on the show, she might be a little like snooty.

01:22:02.180 --> 01:22:04.899
No, me and Howard had a lot of fun together.

01:22:04.899 --> 01:22:08.960
Like at the late 80s, he was on Hollywood Squares

01:22:08.960 --> 01:22:13.100
and he took me with him. And it was so long ago

01:22:13.100 --> 01:22:17.500
we flew out. on the MGM Grand, which was an airline

01:22:17.500 --> 01:22:21.479
that I think it lasted a year. It was a very

01:22:21.479 --> 01:22:24.359
fancy airline where, you know, they had like

01:22:24.359 --> 01:22:27.000
a bar, but the seats were bolted down and we

01:22:27.000 --> 01:22:29.520
had our own little compartment where you could

01:22:29.520 --> 01:22:33.739
watch video, VHS tapes, in fact. And in fact,

01:22:33.800 --> 01:22:39.979
the pilot gave us his own personal copy of Vitamina

01:22:39.979 --> 01:22:43.689
Vegemin with I Love Lucy, you know. So we had

01:22:43.689 --> 01:22:45.430
a lot of fun. We did a lot of stuff together.

01:22:45.569 --> 01:22:49.250
Me and him, you know. Very cool. Yeah. Well,

01:22:49.390 --> 01:22:52.390
Jackie, we thank you for coming on the pod and

01:22:52.390 --> 01:22:55.670
we will love to have you on again sometime. As

01:22:55.670 --> 01:22:58.329
you know, I know you do multiples of these, but

01:22:58.329 --> 01:23:00.630
maybe you know, I was I was kidding. I'll do

01:23:00.630 --> 01:23:03.670
it. Do it anytime. Always. I'm always ready.

01:23:04.930 --> 01:23:08.310
Now, are you getting feedback as we're talking?

01:23:09.410 --> 01:23:11.909
Yes, so we do have these like chats that come

01:23:11.909 --> 01:23:14.470
through over here and like we could put them

01:23:14.470 --> 01:23:17.050
up and stuff. I this gentleman's calling you

01:23:17.050 --> 01:23:19.630
a legend. I just we kind of don't pay attention

01:23:19.630 --> 01:23:21.369
to him much as the show's going on because I

01:23:21.369 --> 01:23:24.149
can get distracted. But we do go through and

01:23:24.149 --> 01:23:27.630
kind of. So are you getting reasonably positive

01:23:27.630 --> 01:23:31.789
feedback or what? Oh, all all been really good,

01:23:31.810 --> 01:23:33.369
man. They're they're all happy to have you on

01:23:33.369 --> 01:23:36.529
the show. And one some people like how do we

01:23:36.529 --> 01:23:38.449
not hear this dude before in all these stories?

01:23:38.720 --> 01:23:40.680
So yeah, a lot of a lot of good feedback. And

01:23:40.680 --> 01:23:42.460
just so you're aware, Jackie, I will plug. I

01:23:42.460 --> 01:23:45.899
will plug. My book is called The Joke Man Bow

01:23:45.899 --> 01:23:49.979
to Stern. And that's on Amazon Prime or Amazon,

01:23:50.039 --> 01:23:54.220
whatever it is. And it's you know, it's in hardcover,

01:23:54.279 --> 01:23:56.859
but it's also in paperback. I think I think they

01:23:56.859 --> 01:24:00.039
ran out of hardcover and stop making them. But

01:24:00.039 --> 01:24:03.420
people love, you know, if you like comedy and

01:24:03.420 --> 01:24:05.859
if you like the Stern show and if you like me

01:24:05.859 --> 01:24:09.060
and if you like to laugh. People just love the

01:24:09.060 --> 01:24:11.619
autobiography. And what's really crazy is I wrote

01:24:11.619 --> 01:24:14.260
enough for two books and I've got the second

01:24:14.260 --> 01:24:16.640
book sitting on my computer and people write

01:24:16.640 --> 01:24:18.319
to me and say, Oh, I really loved your book.

01:24:18.500 --> 01:24:21.340
So I just, I just email them the second half,

01:24:21.460 --> 01:24:26.399
you know, I don't want to die with my other half

01:24:26.399 --> 01:24:28.380
of my books sitting at my computer, you know,

01:24:28.460 --> 01:24:31.939
so I'm very generous with that stuff. I know

01:24:31.939 --> 01:24:34.880
people don't see me in terms of the word generous

01:24:34.880 --> 01:24:37.920
because Howard made a point of telling everybody,

01:24:38.199 --> 01:24:41.899
my friends were so, that was the hardest thing

01:24:41.899 --> 01:24:46.800
for them to believe was how do these people think

01:24:46.800 --> 01:24:49.340
that you're cheap? You're the most generous person

01:24:49.340 --> 01:24:53.279
that we ever met. But I'd have a party and have

01:24:53.279 --> 01:24:57.659
200 people here and feed everybody lobster. And

01:24:57.659 --> 01:25:00.720
then they'd complain to Howard that I was swimming

01:25:00.720 --> 01:25:02.939
when I was supposed to be cooking the lobster.

01:25:03.239 --> 01:25:05.600
I'm like, fuck you, I spent thousands of dollars.

01:25:05.659 --> 01:25:08.159
I'm gonna go down and swim and enjoy myself before

01:25:08.159 --> 01:25:11.880
I start cooking. But you know, Jackie's cheap.

01:25:12.260 --> 01:25:13.840
Now, to this day, somebody will come up and say,

01:25:14.000 --> 01:25:16.039
Jackie, you want me to buy you a drink? I know

01:25:16.039 --> 01:25:18.939
you won't buy me a drink, you cheap fuck. And

01:25:18.939 --> 01:25:21.939
I always laugh, and the person I'm with, that's,

01:25:22.060 --> 01:25:25.279
it worked. I love how you - He's a genius. He's

01:25:25.279 --> 01:25:28.020
a genius at finding your button and pushing your

01:25:28.020 --> 01:25:31.220
button. But I love how you rolled with it, too,

01:25:31.220 --> 01:25:34.500
and never felt the need to defend yourself and

01:25:34.500 --> 01:25:36.239
stuff like that. Took it on the chin and just

01:25:36.239 --> 01:25:39.539
made the best of it as smart of you to do. I

01:25:39.539 --> 01:25:41.939
got one thing for you, Jackie. This is from an

01:25:41.939 --> 01:25:44.159
audience member that left the voicemail specifically

01:25:44.159 --> 01:25:46.020
for you. So I want to play it before you go and

01:25:46.020 --> 01:25:50.579
then we'll wrap it up if you don't mind. Here

01:25:50.579 --> 01:25:53.680
we go. The voicemail. This is from I don't know.

01:25:53.760 --> 01:25:58.399
We shall see. Hello, everyone. This is Bill the

01:25:58.399 --> 01:26:02.020
thrill. Not a first -time listener not a first

01:26:02.020 --> 01:26:05.680
-time caller, but every way anyway I was excited

01:26:05.680 --> 01:26:08.819
to hear that Jackie the Jokeman Martling was

01:26:08.819 --> 01:26:11.260
coming on because when I actually did listen

01:26:11.260 --> 01:26:15.699
to the The Howard Stern show that was the motherfucker

01:26:15.699 --> 01:26:19.640
that wrote the jokes and everyone knew it and

01:26:19.640 --> 01:26:22.439
I just want to ask him some questions and hopefully

01:26:22.439 --> 01:26:26.380
He doesn't hold back and he answers these the

01:26:26.380 --> 01:26:30.420
best way he can And, hey, Jackie, first of all,

01:26:30.439 --> 01:26:33.479
I want to know what was one joke that you wrote

01:26:33.479 --> 01:26:37.380
that you knew would just piss off everyone, but

01:26:37.380 --> 01:26:39.939
you were like, fuck it, and still told it anyway.

01:26:40.680 --> 01:26:42.699
And also... Should I pause it, Jackie, so you

01:26:42.699 --> 01:26:47.479
can answer? Well, I never wrote anything to piss

01:26:47.479 --> 01:26:52.520
anybody off, but very, very rarely did Howard

01:26:52.520 --> 01:26:56.229
not use something. because it was over the top.

01:26:56.510 --> 01:26:58.310
Like sometimes he just wouldn't use it for whatever.

01:26:59.329 --> 01:27:03.010
But one thing I wrote that he almost had a heart

01:27:03.010 --> 01:27:07.630
attack, there was a horrible story. And this

01:27:07.630 --> 01:27:11.989
is, I think it was back in the 80s. And these

01:27:11.989 --> 01:27:16.829
assholes in Texas had tied up a black guy with

01:27:16.829 --> 01:27:20.350
a rope and tied the rope to the back of their

01:27:20.350 --> 01:27:25.229
car and dragged him. to his death. It was a horrible

01:27:25.229 --> 01:27:29.050
story. And, and I wrote something and put it

01:27:29.050 --> 01:27:32.789
in front of Howard and he goes, we'll be right

01:27:32.789 --> 01:27:36.090
back commercial and he looked at me and said,

01:27:36.510 --> 01:27:40.050
what planet are you from? Because my job was

01:27:40.050 --> 01:27:42.829
to write funny things no matter what. And what

01:27:42.829 --> 01:27:49.289
I wrote was Polish water skiing. Wow. And he

01:27:49.289 --> 01:27:53.039
was like, holy fuck. man yeah and it was a bad

01:27:53.039 --> 01:27:56.819
taste but my job was to take what's given and

01:27:56.819 --> 01:27:59.380
try and make it funny not there's nothing funny

01:27:59.380 --> 01:28:01.479
about somebody being dragged to their death whether

01:28:01.479 --> 01:28:05.060
they're black or green or whatever but i was

01:28:05.060 --> 01:28:08.279
just being an idiot you know hey the job of a

01:28:08.279 --> 01:28:10.979
comedian they would have cancelled me my family

01:28:10.979 --> 01:28:14.300
my people at my on my block you know you're not

01:28:14.300 --> 01:28:17.109
kidding man All right, so you heard it there

01:28:17.109 --> 01:28:20.210
that was that was Jackie's joke that that came

01:28:20.210 --> 01:28:22.149
to his brain right there I'm gonna continue and

01:28:22.149 --> 01:28:27.329
see what else we got here Do you really ever

01:28:27.329 --> 01:28:29.609
think that Howard Stern gave you the absolute

01:28:29.609 --> 01:28:32.010
credit that you deserved for launching that show

01:28:32.010 --> 01:28:36.130
because man your jokes were legendary and True

01:28:36.130 --> 01:28:38.770
listeners to that show woke up every morning.

01:28:38.770 --> 01:28:41.109
No, it was like what was Jackie gonna fucking

01:28:41.109 --> 01:28:45.220
deliver for us today and then last but not You

01:28:45.220 --> 01:28:49.279
kind of answered that. He gave me plenty credit

01:28:49.279 --> 01:28:52.060
and gave me lots of money and promoted the hell

01:28:52.060 --> 01:28:55.939
out of me. Could he have done more? I mean, you

01:28:55.939 --> 01:29:00.079
know, in 18 years in that show, I don't think

01:29:00.079 --> 01:29:03.539
he ever said the words. You should see Jackie's

01:29:03.539 --> 01:29:06.840
show live. He's really funny. He always knew

01:29:06.840 --> 01:29:10.439
my plugs. But, you know, Robin came to see me

01:29:10.439 --> 01:29:14.000
one time with her boyfriend. So long ago, her

01:29:14.000 --> 01:29:18.579
boyfriend was Tony, and Caroline's was on 8th

01:29:18.579 --> 01:29:21.800
Avenue, not the Seaport, not Broadway. Caroline's,

01:29:21.859 --> 01:29:24.159
the first Caroline's was on 8th Avenue in the

01:29:24.159 --> 01:29:29.100
city. Tony and I went to see Jackie last night,

01:29:29.659 --> 01:29:32.779
and there's nothing negative I could say. Wow.

01:29:32.779 --> 01:29:35.800
Is it OK? And then they just, that was it. That

01:29:35.800 --> 01:29:39.180
was the end of that conversation, which was.

01:29:39.369 --> 01:29:43.170
a compliment coming from her. That was a huge,

01:29:43.170 --> 01:29:49.529
there's nothing I could say. Yeah. All right.

01:29:49.529 --> 01:29:53.029
Let's finish up here on the voicemail least.

01:29:54.310 --> 01:29:58.329
Here's the big one. Don't you think, or do you

01:29:58.329 --> 01:30:01.609
think it's hypocritical that Howard built his

01:30:01.609 --> 01:30:05.060
whole legacy on being a shock jock? He pushing

01:30:05.060 --> 01:30:08.659
like with your help. He pushed every single boundary

01:30:08.659 --> 01:30:13.460
known to man Got fined for it from the FCC and

01:30:13.460 --> 01:30:16.220
then now he acts like a politically correct activist

01:30:16.220 --> 01:30:19.039
defending everything in rewriting history you

01:30:19.039 --> 01:30:21.460
know, Jack, you'd love to hear your raw honest

01:30:21.460 --> 01:30:26.279
take on all of that and You know, that's it man,

01:30:26.279 --> 01:30:30.520
but you know love your work and You know, that's

01:30:30.520 --> 01:30:33.880
that Well, thank you, Wild Bill. I appreciate

01:30:33.880 --> 01:30:40.859
that. It's funny because people are like, I can't

01:30:40.859 --> 01:30:43.840
listen to Howard anymore. He's become this leftist

01:30:43.840 --> 01:30:46.020
jerk, blah, blah, blah. The only thing Howard

01:30:46.020 --> 01:30:50.119
and I probably agree on is his politics. I'm

01:30:50.119 --> 01:30:54.619
as leftist. I'm as lefty as I could be. And we've

01:30:54.619 --> 01:30:57.800
always agreed on that. He didn't all of a sudden.

01:30:58.460 --> 01:31:02.600
I don't know whether they thought he was a righty

01:31:02.600 --> 01:31:05.260
or a conservative. I don't know what people thought.

01:31:06.000 --> 01:31:08.260
Politics had nothing to do with our game. He

01:31:08.260 --> 01:31:10.500
always had Trump on, but it was only because

01:31:10.500 --> 01:31:16.340
he was such a pompous shit. At one point, Howard

01:31:16.340 --> 01:31:20.220
said, I'll endorse for governor the first candidate

01:31:20.220 --> 01:31:23.279
that calls up. Christy Todd Whitman called up

01:31:23.279 --> 01:31:26.630
the show and so he backed her. You know, that's

01:31:26.630 --> 01:31:29.250
how ridiculous the politics were. And then Howard

01:31:29.250 --> 01:31:33.649
ran for governor as a libertarian, and none of

01:31:33.649 --> 01:31:36.989
us even knew what that meant. And his platform

01:31:36.989 --> 01:31:39.909
for governor, I wrote his platform for governor.

01:31:40.210 --> 01:31:45.510
Oh, boy. The two platforms for governor. I had

01:31:45.510 --> 01:31:50.289
been to work in Boston a bunch of times and it

01:31:50.289 --> 01:31:53.229
was nothing worse than getting done with work

01:31:53.229 --> 01:31:56.550
at noon. and knowing I could go home to Bayville

01:31:56.550 --> 01:31:59.569
and go swimming, and I'd sit on the Grand Central

01:31:59.569 --> 01:32:03.069
Parkway for two hours because they were repairing

01:32:03.069 --> 01:32:06.289
the road. And then I'd be coming home late at

01:32:06.289 --> 01:32:09.149
night from Boston, and they had the mercury vapor

01:32:09.149 --> 01:32:11.430
lights, the huge lights, and they were working

01:32:11.430 --> 01:32:15.350
on the roads at night so they wouldn't slow down

01:32:15.350 --> 01:32:18.369
the traffic during the day. And I told Howard,

01:32:18.510 --> 01:32:21.850
I said, it's so brilliant that it makes so much

01:32:21.850 --> 01:32:27.859
sense. So his platforms for governor work, he's

01:32:27.859 --> 01:32:30.520
going to have them do all road work at night,

01:32:32.020 --> 01:32:34.159
and they're going to fill the potholes in New

01:32:34.159 --> 01:32:40.920
York City with the homeless. And that's as political

01:32:40.920 --> 01:32:43.479
as it got. But I don't know what he's talking

01:32:43.479 --> 01:32:45.220
about or what he's doing. I don't care about

01:32:45.220 --> 01:32:48.170
any of it. But we never... It was never like,

01:32:48.210 --> 01:32:50.890
wow, all of a sudden he's a lefty. I'm a lefty.

01:32:50.970 --> 01:32:53.270
You know, I totally agree with all that. You

01:32:53.270 --> 01:32:55.949
know, anybody that's that's behind Trump has

01:32:55.949 --> 01:32:59.489
to be totally out of their fucking mind. And

01:32:59.489 --> 01:33:01.829
nobody's going to change. You could talk to a

01:33:01.829 --> 01:33:04.010
Trumpy for hours. You're not going to change

01:33:04.010 --> 01:33:05.750
their mind. And everybody's entitled to their

01:33:05.750 --> 01:33:08.689
opinion. That's just I just don't happen to share

01:33:08.689 --> 01:33:13.109
that opinion. Love it. I think part of the question

01:33:13.109 --> 01:33:17.720
was, do you think like Howard is for free speech

01:33:17.720 --> 01:33:21.600
or is he just for his own free speech? I don't

01:33:21.600 --> 01:33:24.880
listen. I don't know. To quote my old friend

01:33:24.880 --> 01:33:32.840
Richard Belzer, modern science has yet to come

01:33:32.840 --> 01:33:36.699
up with a unit of measurement that could express

01:33:36.699 --> 01:33:44.000
how little I give a fuck. Yes, the bells. All

01:33:44.000 --> 01:33:46.699
right, let's leave it there, Jackie. I think

01:33:46.699 --> 01:33:48.159
that's great to leave the audience with that.

01:33:48.279 --> 01:33:50.039
Again, man, we appreciate you coming on. You're

01:33:50.039 --> 01:33:53.180
a lot of fun. We literally we just scratched

01:33:53.180 --> 01:33:55.239
the surface with you, dude. So we would appreciate

01:33:55.239 --> 01:33:58.720
having you on again, man. Any time now. If both

01:33:58.720 --> 01:34:01.939
you guys should email me and I'll send you some

01:34:01.939 --> 01:34:04.000
fun stuff. And if you give me a mailing address,

01:34:04.079 --> 01:34:06.060
if you want to copy my book, I'd be glad to send

01:34:06.060 --> 01:34:08.720
you my book. You know, I would I would like to

01:34:08.720 --> 01:34:10.680
wear one of your T -shirts on the show, too.

01:34:10.939 --> 01:34:14.289
So, yeah, send send me. Send me mailing, send

01:34:14.289 --> 01:34:17.510
me all your information. Don't worry, no salesman

01:34:17.510 --> 01:34:21.569
will call. I'm sure, yeah. We'll be on Jackie's

01:34:21.569 --> 01:34:24.109
mailing list, but that's all gravy. You know

01:34:24.109 --> 01:34:28.310
what? I had one of those shirts here for a thousand

01:34:28.310 --> 01:34:32.069
years. Show it out if you got it. You know, once

01:34:32.069 --> 01:34:33.710
in a while people call up and say, you know,

01:34:33.810 --> 01:34:35.710
they email, I really want one of those Stump

01:34:35.710 --> 01:34:38.130
the Jokeman t -shirts. And I don't have many

01:34:38.130 --> 01:34:41.289
of them. So I'm like... I'm sorry, but you know,

01:34:41.569 --> 01:34:43.890
it's a lot of money and they say I don't care.

01:34:43.930 --> 01:34:45.810
So they put the money in my PayPal. I send them

01:34:45.810 --> 01:34:48.109
a shirt and they're like, holy shit, who knew?

01:34:48.229 --> 01:34:51.649
You know, I'm glad I asked, you know? Yes. So

01:34:51.649 --> 01:34:55.590
the one and only Jackie Martling. Again, we want

01:34:55.590 --> 01:34:57.750
to thank him for coming on. We will have some

01:34:57.750 --> 01:35:00.329
more fun with him in the future. Do not forget

01:35:00.329 --> 01:35:03.350
to go check him out on Better Sister on Amazon

01:35:03.350 --> 01:35:06.579
Prime. Check out his documentary on there and

01:35:06.579 --> 01:35:09.140
pick up his book. There's a lot of documentaries.

01:35:10.439 --> 01:35:14.100
The documentary is simply called Joke Man. That's

01:35:14.100 --> 01:35:17.880
it's that simple. Joke Man. And the book one

01:35:17.880 --> 01:35:24.840
more time, Jackie. Of course. The Joke Man Bow

01:35:24.840 --> 01:35:27.579
to Stern. But you got to put in the Joke Man,

01:35:27.640 --> 01:35:31.079
because if you only put in Bow to Stern, you

01:35:31.079 --> 01:35:37.649
get a seventh grade sailing manual. That's funny.

01:35:37.930 --> 01:35:41.189
The Jokeman Bow to Stern. Thank you, guys. I

01:35:41.189 --> 01:35:44.369
totally enjoyed this. Awesome. Thank you. Thank

01:35:44.369 --> 01:35:47.909
you. The one and only Jackie the Jokeman Martling,

01:35:48.029 --> 01:35:50.590
folks. Again, we appreciate him coming on. He's

01:35:50.590 --> 01:35:52.829
an awesome dude. Make sure to go check him out

01:35:52.829 --> 01:35:57.010
at his upcoming shows. And yeah, I would go check

01:35:57.010 --> 01:35:59.869
out his standup comedy, man. He's a riot. He's

01:35:59.869 --> 01:36:01.729
hilarious. Freaking great. That was awesome.

01:36:02.069 --> 01:36:05.130
That was really fun. Mm hmm. The good old Jackie

01:36:05.130 --> 01:36:07.890
gracious audience. We want to thank you for coming

01:36:07.890 --> 01:36:10.430
on this ride with us. We got so much more coming

01:36:10.430 --> 01:36:14.750
up. We were planning show 100. We're still planning

01:36:14.750 --> 01:36:17.369
show 100. Chad and I got some stuff to talk about,

01:36:17.409 --> 01:36:20.329
but it is approaching us quickly. But we will

01:36:20.329 --> 01:36:26.029
we will figure something out. It's show 98. Peace

01:36:26.029 --> 01:36:28.949
out, ladies and gentlemen. All right. Thank everybody.

01:36:29.329 --> 01:36:33.180
We're going blind. ending.