From Broadway to Eden: How A God Shift Can Transform Your Life w/ Khadijah Rolle

00:00:00
 What happens when the dream that you prayed for finally comes true, but then God asks you to start all over again? Khadija Roll spent years tracing her Broadway dream, enduring rejection after rejection, before finally making her debut in 2024. But even as she reached that milestone, a new calling began to take shape, producing a children's show called Eden's Garden.

00:00:23
 Now, her story is one every creator can relate to, waiting on God's timing, pivoting when the doors close, and learning that your identity is deeper than what you do on stage. Now, if you've ever struggled with setbacks, if you've ever wondered when it will finally be your turn, or questioned whether it's time to pivot into something new, this conversation with Khadijah will remind you that God's pattern is always faith first, and he never wastes the waiting.

00:00:52
 This is the God and Gig Show, where we help you to become the creator that you were created to be. I'm your host, Alan C. Paul, musician, author, and coach to faith-focused creatives. And today, you'll hear how Khadijah Roll's journey from Broadway to aspiring children's television producer proves that every setback can be the setup for something greater.

00:01:17
 Welcome to the God and Gig Show. And my friends, when I say I've got family here on the podcast, I mean it. Like this is like family. This is back to South Day. This is back to, well, she started there, but now she has gone all over the world. She's going all over the place, continuing to create. And I am so happy that she's going to get to share more of her story with you. So Khadija, roll. Welcome to the God and Gig Show. How are you, my friend? I'm good. How about you?

00:01:47
 I'm way better than I was about an hour ago. I always let people in behind the scenes. You know, we are here at the Born On Purpose Project. So this is not my home or my little studio or whatever. This is a beautiful facility. It's beautiful. That we've also been able to interview the owner, Joseph Benjamin, back in a previous episode. I'll put it in the show notes so you can see it. But

00:02:10
 You have now had a chance to come into South Florida. You've been all over the place, but you made time to be live. So this is super cool. I want to say thank you for doing that. Of course. Thank you for having me and inviting me. I'm excited. All right. So this is my little introduction question. Most people like, you know, you have that little 30 second elevator pitch and I'm this and I'm that. And so they've already figured out how amazing you are because they saw your bio on the thing. So here's the way I like to put this question.

00:02:37
 When people meet you for the first time, right, either at an event or whatever, a cocktail, whatever, and they meet you, they shake your hand, they don't get to read that bio, right? So what are those first few things you want somebody to know about you upon first meeting, even if they don't get a chance to meet or learn about all the other things you do? Yeah, I'm a free spirit. I'm a Jesus girl. And authenticity really matters to me.

00:03:04
 I feel like being in an industry where everything is just about putting on and being a performer is very important to me to just be a real person at the end of the day and make real connections. And I think that's one of the biggest things that I've been really sitting with lately. I don't know if it's because I've been in New York and I've got to experience...

00:03:24
 You know, the industry in another way, behind the scenes. It's been amazing, but it's also been things that I wasn't quite prepared for. And so what really matters to me is just staying grounded in who I really am. Okay, so that already touched my heart. If I was meeting you for the first time, I'd be like, okay, I need to know more. Right? So you did touch on the free spirit and the fact that you have your faith in God.

00:03:48
 But there's an artist inside all of that, which I noticed you did not necessarily lean into, which I love because I think one of the things that you've not gotten gigs as a creator first platform. So we lead a lot with what we do. Right. Right. But what you live with is who you are without all those other creative gifts. So now I get to lean into the creative side.

00:04:09
 What do you do with your free spirit and with your faith? Like what are the things that God has brought out that you enjoy doing now actually professionally? Yeah. Well, I would like to say I'm a Broadway performer because I just made my debut. I wanted you to do that. I wanted you to take the victory lap. That's what I wanted to see. Yes.

00:04:25
 I just made my debut November 2024. I am a writer. I'm in the process of producing a kids TV show now. And yeah, I'm a singer. I have recorded some music for some time now and I'm all the things and I'm just embracing that. And the reason why I didn't leave with that is because there was a time where I used to really think that was my identity. And so, yeah.

00:04:54
 See, I know you've opened the door. I love this already. And then you guys will probably guess we've already been talking behind the scenes. So I'm already just already feeling this connection between you, between the people who are listening and watching because so many of us wrestle with that, right? Who we are, what we do. And so one of the things I do want to kind of ask you is what was that first, you know, whether it was childhood, was it a school play? What was that first thing that kind of gave you that kind of spark of,

00:05:23
 I really want to do this. You know, it could be where it was professional, but usually it's not right. Usually before you become a professional, you have this idea in your head or something that like, you know, you saw someone or you saw a TV show or you saw a Broadway play or something that got it in your head. So what was that for you? What was that first inspiration that kind of made you feel like, oh, this is a life I would love to live?

00:05:43
 Is that Eden's Garden or just being a performer? Just being a performer, yeah. So basically, my dad passed away when I was 11 and it was abrupt. It was out of nowhere. And I could remember, I was 11 years old and I remember expressing my anger through fighting in school.

00:06:01
 I know. And my mom was trying to figure out, okay, how can we, what's going on? We were also in therapy. And she put me in a summer camp with Miss Tanisha Seidel at Miami Norland Middle School. And it was a performing arts program, a magnet school. And I got to play Annie in a musical. And I just fell in love with it. At 11 years old, it was planted. She really took me under her wing.

00:06:26
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:06:54
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:07:17
 So it was very serious. Whatever she did when we were in school, we took that thing serious. I love it. Well, now that speaks to the craft, right? Because it's one thing to have the passion. It's another to know that you have a responsibility. And of course, if you want to actually do this, get hired, be able to show up in places, you have to earn your place. That's right.

00:07:38
 So let's talk a little bit about some of those struggles for someone who might be thinking, okay, I have a dream too. I used to act, I used to play, but now it's so far away and no one's hiring this or I have to sing here and I don't know if I could do it. So what were some of those early struggles you had to overcome in order to kind of start to see the dream come to pass?

00:08:00
 Yes. That's an amazing question, and I feel like I have a very long answer. No, it's okay. I think the struggle still happens today, where basically as a performing artist that does Broadway and booking the gig is so audition-based, you're trying to convince somebody on the other side of the table, like,

00:08:22
 I'm the person that can do this. You should pick me. And sometimes that's not what happens more times than you get. You get no more than you get yes. And I think it's not normal to be rejected every day. Like the average person probably gets rejected

00:08:40
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:09:05
 A multi-hyphenate, meaning like when you're not booked, what are some other things that you can do to bring in revenue? So before I moved to New York, I actually had a vocal studio in Miami where I was getting kids ready for auditions, for school, high school, college, and also getting ready for competition and things. And I was able to make a business out of that and be okay when I wasn't booked.

00:09:28
 So I would, I would say the struggle is the financial piece and learning how to get good with rejection and not like being rejected and being like, okay, that just wasn't for me. God, I got something better. Oh my gosh. Okay. Whatever you thought it was. The long answer was also like the best answer. Like I was literally like.

00:09:45
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:10:05
 To not see it as like a rejection from God, right? God is not saying no to you. He might close doors. He might move you around. It's not right now. I got something better for you. I got something you need to learn over here for the bigger, for what I got for you in the end. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Getting good with that and knowing how to navigate that sometimes what you plan out is not how it's going to come and how it's going to go.

00:10:26
 Oh my gosh. Okay, so I love the fact you also mentioned the multi-hyphenate, the things you do outside of that one thing, right? So for you, sounds like it was acting, sounds like it was performing, Broadway, that style of musical theater was your thing. But it sounds like there's some other things that...

00:10:44
 Uh, here's an interesting thing. Cause I, you were interviewing me before we even started. Sorry. No, no, we're going to do a whole nother thing where I get to like, you get to have your podcast, but I love the fact that you obviously have this idea and this is what God and gigs is all about. The creator lifestyle, not just a, Oh, I want to be a singer, artist, musician from, um, producer, like the one thing. And like, that's it. Your whole identity. Like you said, the beginning is not your whole identity. Yeah.

00:11:10
 So you did find some things apparently that as you were pursuing this and got your Broadway, your first time on Broadway. Okay, before we go to the new thing, let's talk about the thing you just did. Yeah. What was that like getting, like after the obstacles, the rejections, you get something, you are actually on Broadway. Like you have to explain to people the highs as well as the lows. So A Wonderful World came to me in 2019, right before the pandemic. So it's actually been a five-year process. Whoa.

00:11:37
 Yes, we've had workshops, tours, and then they call for Broadway. And basically, a lot of people didn't make it to the next round. And it was like sitting and waiting around and just believing. And in between, I had to teach choir at a middle school out in Fort Lauderdale, which was like, you remember the movie Dangerous Minds? Yes.

00:11:56
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:12:20
 Now, at this point, it had been a year since we had done this last workshop, and I didn't know if I was going to move on to the next part, which was a tour. And he calls me. He's like, hey, what's up? How you doing? I'm like, I'm good. And meanwhile, I got kids in the background doing their homework or working on some things. And I'm like, I'm good. How about you? He's like, I just wanted to call you and see if you want to go with us on the road for this next part of the journey. I was like, absolutely.

00:12:49
 Absolutely. And this time we want you to understudy two of the lead roles. And so I start off as an ensemble member who understudy one wife because basically A Wonderful World is a show about Louis Armstrong's story told from the perspective of his four wives. And I got to play three wives in total at each different, at each level. And so when they called me, I did the tour and my manager worked it out. So if I did the tour, they had to take me to Broadway.

00:13:17
 And so I got to leave and I finished out school. I watched those kids graduate and I got to hop on the road and that's how that came. And it was amazing. It was awesome. Gosh. I love the fact that, again, that you see God move, that you were prepared. Yeah. You were, you, you didn't lose heart. You might've lost a little bit. I did. But, but what I think that says is it's okay. Again, to have those kinds of doubts. Yes.

00:13:43
 And still say, but I was called to this and I'm going to put the seed in the ground and let it grow whenever. And you weren't in control of that. That's the other part. You're not in control of when the person says, all right, now it's time. That's right. That's right. I had to learn. I learned a lot of lessons with those kids, though. A lot of stuff about myself. And I think it was the seed in which God had already given me Eden's Garden, the TV show.

00:14:08
 Thank you so much for having me.

00:14:30
 This idea, again, you've already made it to Broadway. You've been able to be around all these amazing musicians, these amazing creators. And yet, in the midst of you achieving this part of your dream, you've got this other dream, which is being birthed. So talk a little bit about the specific project, but also talk about the genesis of it. Like you said, how does that...

00:14:52
 I almost feel like a lot of times we have to split ourselves in two. Yes. So how are you thinking of this new thing while you're doing the thing? Yeah. So, okay, rock with me on this one. This is going to take a minute. All right. So 2022. So we've already done the first year of A Wonderful World's workshop. And when I left that workshop, a lot of the castmates were like, you need to be in New York. You need to be auditioning. And I was like, okay. Okay.

00:15:17
 Packed up my stuff, moved to New York. I was staying in my aunt's place. She was gone for the summer. She was gone. And so I'm staying at this place in the Bronx. I'm auditioning and I'm not getting booked.

00:15:28
 And I start feeling really dark, like not good, like mentally, like not well. And in this particular season, I'm doing yoga, but a yoga that's meditating either on a scripture or I'm praying to God or whatever. So in the middle of this meditation, this particular morning, I get on the mat and I'm like, God, I don't feel good. I don't feel good. It feels very dark. And I will do whatever you tell me to do if you take this feeling away from me. Wow.

00:15:57
 And you know how sometimes when you pray, you feel like you're talking so much? In this prayer, I was mainly quiet. I said that one thing, and I laid down on the mat for like maybe 20 minutes. And God said, okay, I need you to surrender musical theater. Whoa. I need you to surrender the auditioning. I need you to give that back to me. And I was like, what? What?

00:16:22
 I was like, okay, this is all that I know. And that's when I was telling you I found my identity and what it was that I was doing because I realized I didn't know who I was outside of chasing that dream. And I was like, God has showed me you've been idolizing this. You make all your decisions based off this. You miss family events. You miss your friend stuff. You miss falling in love based off of musical theater and trying to get to Broadway.

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 And right now, I need you to just give that back to me. And so I was like, whoa. And I'm in my aunt's apartment alone in these thoughts. And I said, okay, God. I called my mom who was so supportive and poor her. She's so understanding. I called her and I was like, I'm going to come back home, but I'm going to stay. I'm going to ride this last week out and just kind of spend some time with God and just kind of be alone. But I'm going to come back home. I had told her what happened. She was like, okay, cool.

00:17:21
 So I was doing a Bible study and just kind of having devotionals in the morning and just talking because I didn't know what was going to be next. And one day in my Bible study this particular morning, a kid's TV show just dropped in my spirit. I was like...

00:17:38
 Welcome to my lecture, welcome to my lecture, welcome to my lecture.

00:17:58
 And in the past, I have wrote, basically my teacher who I told you about earlier, I wrote a scene and she went and published it for me. The kids won at a state competition. And so it made me realize like, oh, I can write. Like God reminded me of some gifts I had tapped into in the past. So I said, okay. I wrote, I started just writing. God started giving me character names and all that. That night I go to bed, 4 a.m. in the morning. I just wake up.

00:18:27
 In the name Eden's garden drops in my spirit.

00:18:30
 And I'm like, okay. He starts showing me it's going to be a puppetry style kids TV show. It's going to have music and everything. I'm like, okay. So I called my friend Samson, who's an engineer and producer here in Miami. I tell him everything. I'm going to do this and we're going to do that. And God gave me this and did it. You know how we sound crazy sometimes. Yes, yes. Now it's like all soon to firing. Yeah. I'm like, I'm going to do this and we're going to do that. And he was like, okay, bet. Let's start recording. Let's figure it out. And we got to working on it.

00:19:00
 Well, as the journey kept going, I had to move back home, and that's when I got a gig back home here in Fort Lauderdale.

00:19:08
 And I was doing a show, and I got my first check. And I looked at the check, and I was like, now this is not going to cut it, Lord. I know you told me to do this thing. Be real. Be real. I love it. I know you told me to do this. Are we going to work on a TV show? But in the meantime, I need money. You pay some bills. Right. So I said that that day I was mad. The next day, I come in, and one of my castmates, she's over at school. It's a performing arts school. She's the director of the Performing Arts School.

00:19:36
 She was like, my choir teacher quit. And I was like, oh, that sucks. We learning music. I'm like, oh, that sucks. Yeah, I told Donisha, that's a mutual friend of ours, she goes, I told Donisha I was going to ask you. And my immediate thought was like, I ain't teaching at no school. This is not what God showed me. And God was like, you said you needed more money. You said you...

00:20:01
 I'm going to send you here. So I said, okay. So I go, and that's what I mean by when I was there, God started unraveling and showing me that this TV show was going to be about what kids were dealing with today. Because I started seeing the things that they were dealing with. They were very transparent with me. The kids would come to me and talk about things that I didn't necessarily know how to deal with. I had one kid come to me.

00:20:26
 Um, 16 years old. And she said after she was getting ready to graduate, she was going to kill herself. Oh my gosh. And so that's what I mean. Like, I realized that these kids were dealing with things that when I was a kid, I don't remember dealing with that. And I feel like they're growing up during a time where they don't know who they are because of social media, the world and all these images are telling them who to be. And when I was a kid, that wasn't a thing. We had a second to say, Oh,

00:20:55
 I want to do this. There wasn't this oppressive kind of consistent voice, whether it's social media or whatever, like pushing them away from who they are. Like you had time to figure it out. Right. You had time to figure it out. That's right. And so God was showing me,

00:21:11
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:21:27
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:21:51
 The aha moment, right? We pray for that, but then the way that you found it was not the way you would have liked to find it, right? To have to go through all of that. So I guess my question is, now that you have the vision, is it like starting all over? Do you feel that this is the new thing? Do you feel that now you continue pursuing Broadway or pursuing your new musical theater? Or is it kind of like where the roles feel like they're coming together? How does that feel now at this stage?

00:22:21
 Yeah, so being on Broadway, that's eight shows a week. And if you're understudying a role, you're in rehearsals like two days out of the week as well. Well, one day of personal time to catch up on going to get your teeth cleaned at the dentist or paying bills. So I literally had to make the decision. It has been the hardest. I told myself, I'm not going to audition for the next six months. I'm going to put this to the side and I'm going to give everything that I got for these next six months and pour it into this.

00:22:51
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:23:09
 I feel good in my decision. At first I didn't. And I'm at the space where I'm like, I'm going to put this to the side right now. Like, and I'm going to focus all my efforts into this. Wow. And if I sometimes feel crazy. It always does. Look, David probably felt a little crazy running after Goliath. He probably, you know, and you can name every single prophet in the Bible, every single major character in the Bible who's had to step out on faith. Noah. Having to build an ark when they ain't never seen no rain. Exactly. You know. Exactly.

00:23:39
 There's something I read in my Bible today about Exodus and, you know, the boring part. Everyone thinks the boring part to, like, when he comes down off the mountain, then he gives them all of these lists and rules, and then he goes, how are you going to make the ark, right? And I started reading that very carefully because he's talking about creating, right? This is a creator. Hammer this. Make it this long, this wide. Very specific. Very specific. And at the end of that verse, this is why it comes to me, okay, there's no coincidence. We've said this over and over again today.

00:24:06
 He says at the end, he says, see that you do not deviate from the pattern that I have shown you on this mountain. Oh. And I'm like... What does that mean? Like, what can you explain that to me? I think, and this is what I'm asking you about, and this is why I literally almost never bring something, you know, like literally just off the top that I just read. But I feel like what you just said, which is the pattern is we step out on faith. The pattern is God doesn't show you everything. No.

00:24:34
 And we keep wanting God to deviate from that pattern. We keep saying, God, just show me everything. And he never does. Why do we think he's going to change the pattern? He's like, do it like this, follow this particular thing. And again, it's not like in your case, he shows you all the pieces of the book and how the TV show is going to work.

00:24:55
 No. But the pattern has been you step out on faith. That's been your pattern. That is. And so it feels like you're just going through that pattern again. Every time. And I'm like, okay, can you? I was actually angry with God the other day. I said, you told Noah exactly what to do. You gave him every measurement. You gave him this, that, and the third. He said, I'm doing the same thing for you. And I was like, sorry, you're right. Isn't that always our response? Yeah, your ways are higher. That's right. Yeah.

00:25:21
 Oh gosh, this is so good. And so much of this comes again. I love the fact that we already talked about this, that your story is really the story of every creator that sees something that they want and then realizes, like you just said, you have to give it up to God and give it up again and give it up again. But then he gives you more. He gave you more than you even asked for. That's right. So what would you say to somebody who is that 11 year old who

00:25:47
 Or maybe they're not even 11. Maybe it's their first time getting ready to go to New York. Maybe they're like, I'm doing it. They're getting ready to make that big first leap and not realizing it's going to be a whole journey. So what would you say to the person who is where you were? Hmm.

00:26:05
 It's so many things. An 11-year-old who's trying to pursue Broadway or any type of performing arts thing, stay consistent. Keep your eyes on God. Stay true to who you are. To thine own self, be true, is what I always say. Yeah.

00:26:27
 Thank you so much for having me.

00:26:50
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:27:17
 Welcome to my lecture.

00:27:35
 More confident in their identity. That's right. That's so beautiful. So I, we, we're going to do this again. We already said like, we can't cut this off, you know, and never do it again. So you were definitely going to be a regular contributor. Yes. So we want to come back and see Eden's garden and see what you're doing with it. But until then, thank you so much for being a part. And please, for the old school folks, they might not click the button, show them or tell them how they can get in touch with you and stay, you know,

00:28:00
 Yes, you can find me on Instagram at underscore I am Khadijah Roll. On Facebook, Khadijah Roll. And my website, khadijahroll.com. Right now, Eden's Garden does not have a page, but you can come to my personal page and follow us along for the journey. On Thursday nights on both platforms at 8 p.m., there will be something called Updates with Eden, where you can learn more about where we are in the process.

00:28:25
 Um, and there will be some future fundraising campaigns and opportunities for you guys to sow into. Right now we have a team of investors that have raised $50,000 and we're looking to match the number. And if this is something that you think you would love for your children to see or something that you just want to see come to fruition, I would love for you guys to donate, reach out and come along for the journey.

00:28:50
 Well, we're going to make sure that is absolutely front and center for our community. Because again, you're one of us. You are showing what faith in God can do when you combine it with your creative gifts he put inside you. So I just believe the half has not been told, my friend. So thank you so much for being a part of our podcast. I appreciate you so much. Thank you.

00:29:07
 My friend, I could not be more inspired. Khadija was such a light and a breath of fresh air when it comes to those of us in the creative space who have heard no before, who've had a dream but had to pivot to something else. And...

00:29:23
 What's most impressive is that she didn't get stuck in just one version of that creative lifestyle, but now she's going in a whole new direction that I believe God's going to bless too. Now, as you were listening, I'm guessing that two or three other people in your mind popped up as someone that really needs to hear this kind of message. Someone that's dealing with rejection, someone that's dealing with a pivot. Well, why don't you bless them? Send this to them.

00:29:49
 Let them know that you are thinking about them and that this guiding gig show episode was perfect for them. I bet you that they will be so appreciative of it and you'll be blessing us by helping us to share this kind of inspiration. Well, my friend, until next time, continue to become the creator that you were created to be. God bless and we'll see you next episode.