3 Helpful Tips for High Achieving Perfectionist Moms on Thanksgiving

[00:00:00] Hi everyone. Happy Thanksgiving. I am gonna make this one short and sweet today because I imagine you have lots to do today, whether you're hosting or going somewhere, or maybe you've decided to just boycott the whole thing and you're on a trip somewhere. I'm a little bit jealous, not gonna lie, but I know everybody's got things going on today.

We have both sides of the family coming to our house. We started this, I think the second year after we've moved back to Pennsylvania because the first year we just felt like we were like running all over the place. And then it was a four day weekend and already a couple of the days were gone.

And so we said, you know what? We're just gonna host at our house and have both sides of the family and everyone could come together for Thanksgiving. And we've done that ever since for the last three or four years, and we love it and everyone looks forward to it. So I am gonna be cooking two turkeys and a ham, and lots and lots of sides, and I'm looking [00:01:00] forward to it.

So I wanna share three quick tips with you today, and then just two quick things after that. So first off, we have been talking all fall about taking care of ourselves and my guest and I have shared lots of different tips and ideas for keeping yourself regulated so you can show up as the person that you wanna be, the mother, the partner, the daughter, the sister.

And I think that this is so important all the time, but especially on big days like holidays where there's a higher level of pressure, where there are expectations, where there's lots going on. Especially if you're spending it with your family of origin and maybe there are, you know, things that people say sometimes that maybe rub on bruises that were made a long time ago

and you're having to kind of regulate through that while also navigating your children and their [00:02:00] emotions and them being dysregulated or off schedule. And so it's just, it's a lot today. And so I just invite you to check in with yourself, check in with what you need today and to make sure that you give it to yourself.

If you need to step outside for some fresh air or you need to go upstairs and do a five minute meditation. Whatever you need, you are allowed to need that. There's nothing wrong with you for needing something, and I hope that you'll honor your needs.

The second thing I wanna say is just to remember that you are human. Remember that your kids are human, your partner, and everyone you're gonna interact with today, and humans are not perfect. Humans make mistakes. They're not always able to be at their absolute best, and I think that obviously, we all know this, right? That everyone's a human. That's obvious, but I think sometimes we hold ourselves and others to a really high [00:03:00] standard that is beyond what is capable for a human to attain on a consistent basis like to be that way all the time. And I think that we usually expect everyone to be that way on this day because it's a special day and unfortunately that's just not really how it works.

And so that kind of goes into my third thing I wanna say is to check in on your vision for today. Is it realistic? Because I think sometimes we have these kind of delusions of grandeur, these perfect visions of how everything's gonna go, how everyone's going to act, and that we're gonna just create these like perfect holiday memories that we imagine in our heads or that we see on social media or that we have from our own childhood because we have lots of distance between then and now. And you know, maybe the stars will align and everyone will [00:04:00] act perfectly and everything will go perfectly and there'll be just these absolutely perfect memories. Maybe, but the odds are that that's not what's gonna happen today.

There's gonna be a mess at some point to clean up. There's gonna be something that gets overcooked or maybe something that takes way longer to cook and it delays dinner. You're gonna have kids complaining about something. You might have your partner say something that irritates you. A family member might make a comment that is offputting.

It's probably going to be some variation or combination of all of those plus lots of other examples, right? And I think that whenever we are expecting perfection, then we feel really disappointed and it just feels kind of awful to feel that way on a holiday. So here's what I wanna offer and what I would ask you to practice saying to yourself over and over and over again as it's happening and before.

Today will not be [00:05:00] perfect and I am capable of handling anything that comes my way. A lot of times I think what happens is we feel that disappointment and then we start getting in our heads and saying like, oh, I can't deal with this. Ugh. You know, and, and we just kind of get into that energy.

But whenever we tell ourselves that we can't do it, that we are not capable of handling this, it just takes away all of our power to do anything about it, to make it into any more of a positive experience than what it might be. So just remember, it's probably not gonna be a perfect day, and you are very, very capable of handling anything that happens today.

Okay? You've got this.

All right. The last two things I wanna tell you real quick. First, I just wanna let you know about my seasonal support sessions for Moms: holiday edition, and I wanna invite you to join me. I'm offering two free calls the first two Fridays of December to bring together moms from all over who are currently [00:06:00] in this season of motherhood, balancing that with leadership while also trying to navigate the holiday season on top of all the other responsibilities that we already have. I think sometimes one of the things that just makes it so hard is feeling that we are alone in trying to carry it all and make all the magic for everybody and manage all of the things that are happening this holiday season. And so I wanted to provide a space for us to just come together and connect and just spend a little bit of time in community because I always know that whenever I surround myself with other amazing women, that I walk away feeling so much more inspired and motivated, and I just feel good. So I really hope you'll join me for one or both of those calls. Like I said, there's no charge, and you can sign up over@www.coach leanna.com. Hope to see you there.

And then finally, I just wanna say [00:07:00] I am so incredibly grateful for you. I know that we sound like a platitude because you know, we talk about gratitude on Thanksgiving and what we're thankful for, but I, I just want you to know that I am genuinely grateful to everybody who listens to this show. Being a podcast host, it can sometimes feel like you're talking into the abyss because there's not really a way for interaction, like if you're speaking to an audience in person or if you are going live or posting on social media. It's kind of like you record it, you put it out there, and you just hope for the best.

So seeing the loyal listeners every single week listening to the show, looking at the numbers is so fun. And hearing from y'all periodically, , it's just really fun and helps to keep me motivated to wanna continue producing this podcast. So I just wanna say thank you and if you have a chance, maybe not today, maybe [00:08:00] on another day that there's a little bit more downtime, I would so appreciate if you could share an episode that you loved with a friend or family member, or tell somebody about the podcast just to help get the word out so that we can have more people be a part of this community and we can help even more women. So again, thank you so much and I appreciate you and thank you so much for tuning in today.

I am wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving, even with all its imperfections. Take care, everyone.