Dec. 2, 2020

Episode 1 - The Move

Episode 1 - The Move

I recently lost my job and decided to move across the country and document the whole thing. Things in the new house seem a bit... off.

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Transcript



The Cellar Letters



Episode One

The Move



Summary

Nate and Bella move into a new home and explore the basement.

Cast

Jamie Petronis as Nate

Bella as Bella

Content Warnings

covid mention, sudden loud noises,

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on)

 

Nate 

(excitedly)

 

hey guys! 

 

(deflated) 

 

Uh okay. That was way too excited, (whispers, focused) let me try again...

 

(again, less excited, lower voice) 

 

hey guys! 

 

(sighs, laughs)

 

God who am I, the fucking (crypt?)keeper

 

(he tries again)

 

hey guys how's it going!

 

(happier) 

 

That’s the one!

 

Anyway so you're probably wondering what this whole thing is. So, I am currently in the middle of a move out to the east coast with a friend of mine. 

 

And as luck would have it, I'm one of the millions of people that is currently unemployed because of this fucking pandemic. Now I'm sure it goes without saying but I'm about to have way, WAY too much free time on my hands. So I asked myself “Self? What are you gonna do with yourself?”. 

So I started brainstorming. I could make an Instagram for my dog. People love dogs. She’ll get a Chewy sponsorship … it'll be great! 

I could make a tiktok but I definitely can't dance and I promise you that nobody's going to want to see me throw it back. Nobody.

 

So this my friends is option three. I'm making a podcast slash audio diary… thing. And honestly I'm not even really sure what it is we're going to be talking about. It could just be me and Steve rambling on and on about movies or games or music or … well whatever. You get the point. (laughs)

You. Who... who am I even talking to here. Odds are the only people that'll end up listening to this thing are my family and friends.

 

Honestly there are worse things I could be spending my time on. Like I said I could be throwing it back and you would be throwing it up.

 

Well- mom, dad and uh … other assorted family members: stick around because I promise that I'm going to take this whole podcast thing way, way too seriously because this is... the…. the umm… I- .. I don't have a name for this thing yet so we can fill in that blank later...anyways uh format wise I'm basically just going to click record anytime a new thought or idea pops into my head.

That can definitely be a good or bad idea depending on the thought but we're just going to roll with it. Alright well, uh, I will talk to you all later! Love you! Bye.

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate 

 

What up just uh checking in to let you all know -and you heard it here first- I absolutely hate packing. I hate it. I literally leave tomorrow and I feel like I have almost nothing done even though right now, right in front of me I see boxes and boxes …. and boxes. A bag and … oh look… What's that? Ah… well... that my dear listeners at home? It’s a box. 

Terrific.

Gotta finish this up. Alright, later!



(no beeps but it’s the next morning)

 

Nate  

(he sounds tired)

 

Good morning everybody! 

 

To reiterate what I said last night: packing sucks. 

But the deed is done. The car is loaded up and I'm good to go. Just gotta grab the dog and head out. 

 

For those of you that can't see her which you know is all of you my dog's a little cutie. She's a 45-ish pound Aussie named Bella. 

(laughs) And no before you ask: she isn't named after the girl from twilight- she's named after the girl from New Moon. There's a difference. Team Edward! 

 

Say hi Bella! Say hi!

 

(no hi from Bella)

 

Eh, worth a shot…

Well I'm out of here. I'll check in with you guys when I'm settled in the house

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate  

(there are car sounds in the background)

 

So I lied to you guys I'm not at the house yet. 

But I started thinking I haven't even told you all about this house yet. So it's honestly a pretty sick situation. I was on Zillow one night - which I honestly do way too often - just dreaming about where I'll go and what I'll do once all this craziness is over… and then I saw it: an opportunity that was way too good to pass up. 

Okay, get this: a four bedroom, two bath house. Fully furnished, attic, basement and a big green yard for Bella to run around. And honestly even without my friends splitting the rent it would be completely doable alone. Seriously it would be stupid not to do this.

 

(static from the car radio) 

 

um...that’s 

 

(unintelligible, his voice is being drowned out by the static)

 

(suddenly the static stops and there’re car sounds again) 

 

Um… anyway I'm getting there a few days early to scope everything out and get Bella acclimated to the place. I don't think Steve's too far behind me though. 

 

Alright! This time for real. The next time you hear from me I will definitely, most likely be in the house.

Okay. Say bye Bella! Say…. say bye!

 

(no bye from Bella)  

 

bye.

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate

 

Guys. This place is….it’s … it’s nutsI don't even know where to start. First off it's huge. 

 

It's gonna be perfect for having people over when we can legally have people over again. And my bedroom is fucking massive. So much room for activities! That’s a bad joke but yeah … (stammering) it’s … it's big.

Seriously whoever let go of this house is an idiot.

Anyways I am beat. I am going to unpack a bit and then pass out. Goodnight.

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate

(there are two knocks and the sounds of insects in the background)

 

Okay I have no idea what's going on. 

it's like uh … three AM? And I keep hearing this weird knocking noise coming from downstairs. I don't know if the mic is gonna pick it up but, uh, let's see.

 

(no knocking sound. He sighs) 

 

Figures. Now that I start recording there's nothing going on. That’s annoying. Anyways I'm just gonna go back to bed. Goodnight. 

 

(the sound of a recording device being put onto a nightstand) 

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate

 

Heeeey! Coming at you live from the new house. There’s absolutely nothing going on. I haven't heard the knocking since last night. Honestly it was probably just the pipes or something. Well seeing as there's nothing going on and Steve is nowhere to be found… I’m just gonna go! Okay! Catch you later. Bye!

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate

(annoyed)

Oooookay. I really need to find a way to have this damn thing record every time it picks up a sound. So I'm just sitting here on tiktok and I hear this fucking banging again.

It's every few seconds, it's really faint but uh...okay. I'm gonna google it. I'm sure there's a way to set this thing…

 

(exhales) I really need to clean my browser history.

 

Oh! That was fast… and I'm an idiot. It's literally in the options. Active recording...check. Should be able to pick up that damn knocking now. Alright!

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

(there’s the knocking and insects in the background. Nate is snoring.)

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate

 

Hey guys I just listened to that recording from last night and honestly, I...  have no idea what that was! I'm honestly getting a little creeped out here. I don’t know I’m… I'm gonna I'm gonna give the landlord a call to see if it's some kind of plumbing thing (sighs) okay okay

 

(phone sounds)

 

 it's ringing.

 

“Hey! Hey Jim how's it going? I'm good! I'm good! I …. actually have a question about the place? So I've been hearing this weird noise every night? I think it might be a pipe or something. Do you know anything about that? Okay. Okay. Ooookay! … well thank you, um, if I have any more questions I'll let you know! thanks bye!” 

 

Alright so … that was kind of weird he um all he said was yeah, no, it's fine, don't worry about that. I'm not really sure how to take that. 

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Okay so I know literally nothing about plumbing but um I'm gonna go in the basement see if I can find whatever's making that noise. Yay! Wish me luck.

 

(very squeaky door sounds, klicking)

 

Okay, cool so the light doesn't work. So I’ll just use my phone 

 

(walking sounds)

 

First things first it is uncomfortably dark down here. So ugh, this will be Steves room….

 

Looking at the pipes I'm not really seeing anything- I don’t really know what to look for... I'm just looking at pipes. Wait. What is that? That’s weird…  Jim didn't say anything about another room down here. Okay there’s just more darkness and more pipes not really I'm really seeing what the issue could be. I’m gonna go upstairs.

 

(dog sound from upstairs)

 

Hold on Bella, I’m coming!

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate

 

Okay it’s weird that Jim never mentioned that extra room in the basement, right? Hm. Okay. 

I'm gonna go down there.

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate

 

Okay it's still really dark down here um. That’s … fantastic. The door is locked so I’m gonna use my handy dandy 

 

(loud screwdriver sound)

 

screwdriver and try and get in there. Wish me luck.

 

(medium loud screwdriver sounds, the sound of a few screws and a lock hitting the floor, another creaking door)

 

That’s… that’s really weird. There’s a … there’s just a wall of file cabinets. Let’s open one up.

 

(sound of a file cabinet being opened)

 

Jesus there's uh…. rows and rows of letters in here. Like... hundreds of them. I'm gonna take a few of these upstairs, I’ll be right back.

 

(paper rustle)

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again)

 

Nate 

 

Okay so this, um, this letter is really, really weird. So there's a number eight on it, on the top and it says 134 west valley road. And uh, I'm just gonna read it: 

 

I think she's getting closer. I've been seeing her more and more lately. When I'm walking to the kitchen. When I'm heading to bed. She's there. She always looks the same: pale; white gown that looks like it's from a different time; deep, dark eyes. I feel like I'm going crazy. 

I'm scared. I think I'm even starting to hear her. It sounds like she... like she needs help.

 

(sigh) That was fucking weird.  I'm gonna assume that the eight means there are more of these. (another sigh)  So yeah I'm not gonna bother asking Jim about anything downstairs because clearly he has no idea what's going on. Um yeah I'm not...I'm not going down there again today. I'm a little... freaked out. 

Okay so guys I'm gonna go to bed with the lights on and I will talk to you later! 

Goodnight!

 

(beep from the recorder it’s been turned off)

 

(beep from the recorder, it’s been turned on again, cricket sounds in the background)

 

(something keeps knocking, this is an automated recording)

 

???

(whispering)

 

help…  me