If you’ve ever felt like you’re barely holding it together but have to keep smiling anyway… you’re not alone.

This week on The Average Pursuit podcast, we talked about the weight of pretending. About running on fumes while everyone else assumes you’re fine. About what it really means to stop performing for others—and even for God—and start finding rest for your soul.

If you haven't listened to this episode, you can find it here.

At the end of the episode, I left you with two questions to sit with:

1. What mask have you been wearing just to get through the day?
2. What would it look like to stop pretending—and start healing?

I want to walk with you a little deeper into those questions today. Not because I have all the answers, but because I know how easy it is to avoid them. And because Jesus offers something better than living behind a mask.

1. What Mask Have You Been Wearing Just to Get Through the Day?

If I’m honest, I’ve worn more masks than I can count.

The “I’ve got it all together” mask when I was falling apart inside.

The “I’m fine” mask when I was anything but.

The “I’m strong enough to handle this” mask when I desperately needed someone to notice I wasn’t.

Sometimes we wear masks because we’re afraid of what people would think if they saw the real us. Other times, it feels like survival—because slowing down or letting people in feels riskier than staying busy and holding it all together.

But here’s the truth: God can’t heal what we’re hiding.

When Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28–30), He didn’t mean we should come once we’ve pulled ourselves together. He invited us to come weary. And weary often looks like unmasking—the raw, unpolished version of ourselves we’ve been trying to keep tucked away.

Reflection Prompts

• What are you trying to prove to others (or yourself) by wearing this mask?
• How has pretending affected your relationship with God and the people closest to you?
• Where might God be inviting you to be more honest right now?

Journaling Practice

Write down the name of the mask you’re wearing and why you think you need it. Then, in prayer, offer it up to God. You might write something like:

“Jesus, I’ve been wearing the ‘I’m strong enough’ mask because I’m afraid of letting people down. But it’s heavy. And I want to trust You instead of my own strength. Please meet me here.”

2. What Would It Look Like to Stop Pretending—and Start Healing?

This question is where it gets practical. It’s one thing to realize we’re wearing a mask. It’s another to actually take it off.

For me, stopping the cycle of pretending meant getting honest—with God, with myself, and with a couple of safe people in my life. It also meant admitting that healing wouldn’t happen overnight.

Healing is a process. But every small step matters.

Practical Steps to Start Healing

• Name what’s real. Whisper it. Pray it. Write it. Say out loud, “I’m not okay.” That’s not weakness—that’s surrender.
• Find safe people. We don’t need a crowd, just one or two people who can handle our honesty without judgment.
• Rest in Christ, not performance. Spend time with Jesus without an agenda. Read His Word. Sit in silence. Let Him hold you.
• Take one small step. That might mean calling a counselor, turning off your phone for an hour, or saying “no” to a commitment that’s draining you. Small obedience is still obedience.

Reflection Prompts

• If you were fully honest, what would you tell God about how you’re really doing?
• Who is one safe person you could open up to this week?
• What is one small step you can take toward healing right now?

Breath Prayer

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, pause and take a deep breath. Whisper this prayer:

Inhale: Jesus, I need You.

Exhale: I’m not alone.

You’re Not Alone

Maybe you feel like you’re too far gone, too tired, or too messy for God to draw near. But the truth is, He is closest when we feel the weakest.

Taking off the mask isn’t easy. It feels vulnerable. But it’s also the doorway to freedom.

So, friend, I want to bless you with this:

May you have the courage to be honest, the grace to fall apart, and the faith to believe that even here—especially here—God is near.

You don’t have to keep pretending you’re okay.

You don’t have to keep holding it all together.

Jesus is strong enough to hold you.

Let’s Go Deeper Together

If this hit home for you, take 10–15 minutes today to journal through the questions above. Pray the breath prayer. And if you’re willing, share with a trusted friend what mask you’ve been wearing.

I’d also love to hear from you. Which of these questions is God stirring in you right now? Leave a comment or reply to the newsletter. Your honesty might just give someone else the courage to be honest too.

Until next time—be real, be kind, and keep walking in grace.

—Jonathan