Sept. 22, 2022

Is Judgment the Enemy?

Is Judgment the Enemy?

We’re often warned about Judgment.  Being judgmental is the fast way to frustration, irritation, and bad decisions.  But we judgment is a vital survival strategy too!

In today’s episode, we look at the true purpose of judgment, the two kinds of judgment, and how you can use judgment to improve your life and the lives of others.

About the Host, Elaine Starling:

An international TEDx speaker, bestselling author, coach and mentor, Elaine Starling is recognized for her video show and podcast, The Abundance Journey. After a comprehensive conversation with our higher power during a stroke, Elaine created The Abundance Journey 6 week course to share what she learned. As the Abundance Ambassador, Elaine mentors spiritual, growth-oriented women to align with Divine guidance to achieve their dreams. Elaine’s clients experience more clarity, confidence, and commit to action that achieves their goals. 

Elaine Starling Social Media Links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elaine.starling1/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainestarling/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3eXgwdMYYzLicCEcB1Ddrg

TEDx Talk, “Abundance Is a Choice” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMQ0D4sfEys&t=1s

Website: www.TheAbundanceJourney.com

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Transcript
TAJ Intro/Outro:

The Abundance Journey explores all the ways abundance shows up to help you expand the abundance you embody Express and experience as your journey unfolds.

Elaine Starling:

Welcome, this is Elaine Starling, the abundance ambassador and the host of the abundance journey video show and podcast. I'm so glad you can join me today, because we're going to be talking about judgment. Yeah, judgment, we all tend to have judgment. And it's one of the things that I've struggled with a lot through my life. Because things happen, right? And you experience something and you think, Wow, that is so wrong, I can't believe people are doing that. That's ridiculous, that is so wrong. And I realized in my conversation with the divine, that there are actually two different kinds of judgment. And they serve as kind of rumble strips, you know, those strips along the road where they deliberately carved grooves into the pavement, so that, you know, if you're getting a little too close to the side, you need to get back in the middle. That's what judgment is for. Because there are actually two different kinds of judgment that you can have, you can have the kind of judgment where you're refining and getting clarity about what really matters to you. Let me give you an example. I have no desire to climb Mount Everest, I'm sorry, it's just not my thing, right? I'm not a big mountain climber, I have absolutely no interest in climbing Mount Everest. And just seeing specials on television and watching the endurance that it's that required to do something that extreme in blows my mind, I have the utmost respect and admiration for people who feel compelled to climb Mount Everest. Well, that's not fun. Time soon as definitely not on my bucket list. So understanding the options that are present, gives me clarity in what I want to do and where I want my life to go. So I can decide if that's something that belongs on my bucket list and will expand me or if it's something that just isn't really relevant to me, so I can let it go. So that's one kind of judgment where you're getting clarity. Now, the other kind of judgment is where you're standing and chastising others, or convicting others, because they don't agree with you. Because you have a different point of view than their point of view. That's not a good kind of judgment. Because actually, every single situation that you perceive as conflict is there with a very important purpose. The Divine has set you up, to experience this conflict to see how you're going to react, are you going to come from a space of love and acceptance and appreciation, allowing other people to have their point of view, because you know, it doesn't have to impact you and your own point of view, you can be strong and centered and grounded in who you are, with total clarity about what is important to you, and to give other people the right, and the respect they deserve for having their own opinion. Their opinion doesn't have to impact you at all. Because the person whose opinion matters the most to you. There's one person you are desperate to have really believe in you and honor you and love you. That one person is looking at you in the mirror every day. Yeah, you just want validation from yourself. You don't need validation from anybody else. You just need it for you. So when you see that you are trending into that judgment space, you're starting to hit the rumble strip, stop. Instead of chastising or criticizing someone else. Step back and go wait a minute. This is just giving me clarity on what's important to me, and my values and my priorities. And I can honor myself and respect and validate myself for my own views. And then I send love and blessings to everyone else. Whether they agree with me or not really doesn't matter. What I'm here to do is be that full partner with the divine that a vessel for the divine so that other people recognize there partnership with the divine to. This is Elaine Starling. I have really enjoyed seeing you every week, make sure you stay tuned. And we're going to be doing activate abundance in just a second.

Elaine Starling:

So let's talk about activating abundance when it comes to judgment, because hey, your entire life is about judgment, you have to tell black from white, you have to be able to tell if something smells a little off, or it smells really good, right? Maybe it's time for a shower, you never know. So judgment is a very important component of your success. It's how you manage judgment that really matters. So let's activate abundance. And first start by celebrating in advance that this is a wonderful tool for you. Judgment is there to help you be more discerning about what is important to you. It gives you clarity, so yay, you're getting more clarity, that's a great thing to celebrate. The second step is to acknowledge how you feel, acknowledge what's going on. And just being aware of the fact that you're feeling judgmental, that's huge. That's great. Instead of just that knee jerk reaction where you want to correct somebody or you want to tell them they're wrong, or you want to discipline somebody or or argue with someone. Wait, hold on, step back. Okay. Be aware of how you feel. That's really important to acknowledge how you feel that's step two. Step three, appreciate the difference that can make in your life. Because instead of careening over the rumble strip of judgment and off into the weeds where you have an accident and things are bad, you can recognize, hey, I'm hitting the rumble strip. And now I get to back off the rumble strip, get back in the center lane. And be aware of how I feel and the clarity that this experience is giving me. I can validate myself, I can be present for myself, while I'm also present for the other person. How cool is that? So step one, celebrate advance. Step two, acknowledge something that's happening for you that makes a difference. Step three, appreciate the difference that can make in your life. And step four, activate abundance, activate abundance by remembering every time you experience judgment. That's a reminder to send love, and blessings. Yeah, send love and blessings. And one of the most powerful reasons to do that is because you get to experience that same love and blessings three times as you are sharing it with someone else. Because you imagine the love and blessings that's the first time then you bring it into your heart, wrap it with love. That's the second time and then you share it. That's the third time that you get the love and blessings in the process of sharing them with others. How cool is that? And then step five, celebrate Celebrate your progress, celebrate that you are honoring yourself and honoring others, giving them the space to be the best person they can be. While you are fulfilling your divine partnership by being the blessing you really are. This is Elaine Starling. Thank you so much for joining me and I look forward to seeing you for the next abundance journey.