March 29, 2025
Praise, Criticism and Comparing Oneself With Others
Apple Podcasts 
Spotify 
Amazon Music 
RSS Feed 
Castro 
RadioPublic 
PocketCasts 
YouTube reference: Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 2, Looking at Oneself and Others, pp. 38-39This episode is also available as a blog post at https://sriaurobindostudies.wordpress.com/2025/03/27/praise-criticism-and-comparing-oneself-with-others/
Video presentations, interviews and podcast episodes are allavailable on the YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@santoshkrinsky871
More information about Sri Aurobindo can be found at www.aurobindo.net
The US editions and links to e-book editions of SriAurobindo’s writings can be found at Lotus Press www.lotuspress.com
1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:05,280
The vital nature generally
craves praise and becomes upset
2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,920
with criticism.
This habit has been increased by
3
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,200
the rise of social media with
the likes and dislikes that
4
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,760
appear on various posts, videos
and blogs.
5
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,600
People work hard to increase
their likes and followers and
6
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,840
make that almost an end in
itself, to justify their
7
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:29,280
activities, ideas, actions and
reactions to themselves through
8
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,680
this external form of
validation.
9
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:36,600
One of the consequences of this
fixation on external validation
10
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,520
is the temptation to compare
oneself with others and thereby
11
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:44,640
judge others and enhance one's
own internal sense of self worth
12
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:49,760
or in some cases, inner sense of
defeat and failure if one does
13
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,920
not measure up in the
comparison.
14
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,280
In reality, it is
counterproductive and a
15
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,840
misdirected focus to concentrate
on the praise or blame one
16
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:04,640
receives, as each individual has
their own process, method,
17
00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:09,640
timing and objectives, and not
everyone follows the same path
18
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,120
of development, trajectory or
end goal.
19
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,600
Similarly, comparison with
others is necessarily an
20
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:22,240
external and superficial action
that does not comprehend the
21
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,400
entirety of what anyone is here
to do or how they are here to do
22
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,160
it.
Sometimes what appears to be a
23
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:33,760
circuitous route turns out to be
a more comprehensive approach
24
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:38,280
that bears its fruit later, but
in a more complete way.
25
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:44,280
While we tend to seek praise,
which feeds our vanity and thus
26
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:49,000
fulfils the vital nature's
desire, and become upset by
27
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:54,080
criticism which leads in many
cases to a response of anger or
28
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:59,320
depression, the deeper reality
is that criticism actually can
29
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:03,720
play an important role in our
progress as it highlights for us
30
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,880
areas we should at least be
looking at within ourselves.
31
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,680
While we should not give undue
importance to either praise or
32
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,680
blame, we can take the
opportunity for an inward look
33
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:20,760
to determine whether and to what
extent some actual underlying
34
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,600
fault or weakness is being
exposed to our view.
35
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:30,720
Srioro Vindo observes quote This
is a great error of the human
36
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,720
vital to want compliments for
their own sake and to be
37
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,560
depressed by their absence and
imagine that it means there is
38
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,880
no capacity in this world.
One starts with ignorance and
39
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,560
imperfection in whatever one
does.
40
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,120
One has to find out one's
mistakes and to learn.
41
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:54,120
One has to commit errors and
find out by correcting them the
42
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,840
right way to do things.
Nobody in the world has ever
43
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,800
escaped from this law.
So what one has to expect from
44
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,800
others is not compliments all
the time, but praise of what is
45
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,760
right or well done, and
criticism of errors and
46
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,240
mistakes.
The more one can bear criticism
47
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,440
and see one's mistakes, the more
likely one is to arrive at the
48
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:22,720
fullness of one's capacity.
As for comparison with others,
49
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:27,040
one ought not to do that.
Each one has his own lesson to
50
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,640
learn, his own work to do, and
he must concern himself with
51
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:36,720
that, not with the superior or
inferior progress of others in
52
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:42,000
comparison with himself.
If he is behind today, he can be
53
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:46,760
in full capacity hereafter, and
it is for that future perfection
54
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,240
of his powers that he must
labor.
55
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,400
But learn to welcome criticism
and the pointing out of
56
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,200
imperfections.
The more you do so, the more
57
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:03,440
rapidly you will advance.
End Quote Reference Srioro Bindu
58
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,800
and the Mother.
Looking from Within, Chapter 2.
59
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,480
Looking at Oneself and Others,
pages 38 to 39.
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:05,280
The vital nature generally
craves praise and becomes upset
2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,920
with criticism.
This habit has been increased by
3
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,200
the rise of social media with
the likes and dislikes that
4
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,760
appear on various posts, videos
and blogs.
5
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,600
People work hard to increase
their likes and followers and
6
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,840
make that almost an end in
itself, to justify their
7
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:29,280
activities, ideas, actions and
reactions to themselves through
8
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,680
this external form of
validation.
9
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:36,600
One of the consequences of this
fixation on external validation
10
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,520
is the temptation to compare
oneself with others and thereby
11
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:44,640
judge others and enhance one's
own internal sense of self worth
12
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:49,760
or in some cases, inner sense of
defeat and failure if one does
13
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,920
not measure up in the
comparison.
14
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,280
In reality, it is
counterproductive and a
15
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,840
misdirected focus to concentrate
on the praise or blame one
16
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:04,640
receives, as each individual has
their own process, method,
17
00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:09,640
timing and objectives, and not
everyone follows the same path
18
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,120
of development, trajectory or
end goal.
19
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,600
Similarly, comparison with
others is necessarily an
20
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:22,240
external and superficial action
that does not comprehend the
21
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,400
entirety of what anyone is here
to do or how they are here to do
22
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,160
it.
Sometimes what appears to be a
23
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:33,760
circuitous route turns out to be
a more comprehensive approach
24
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:38,280
that bears its fruit later, but
in a more complete way.
25
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:44,280
While we tend to seek praise,
which feeds our vanity and thus
26
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:49,000
fulfils the vital nature's
desire, and become upset by
27
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:54,080
criticism which leads in many
cases to a response of anger or
28
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:59,320
depression, the deeper reality
is that criticism actually can
29
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:03,720
play an important role in our
progress as it highlights for us
30
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,880
areas we should at least be
looking at within ourselves.
31
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,680
While we should not give undue
importance to either praise or
32
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,680
blame, we can take the
opportunity for an inward look
33
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:20,760
to determine whether and to what
extent some actual underlying
34
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,600
fault or weakness is being
exposed to our view.
35
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:30,720
Srioro Vindo observes quote This
is a great error of the human
36
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,720
vital to want compliments for
their own sake and to be
37
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,560
depressed by their absence and
imagine that it means there is
38
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,880
no capacity in this world.
One starts with ignorance and
39
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,560
imperfection in whatever one
does.
40
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,120
One has to find out one's
mistakes and to learn.
41
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:54,120
One has to commit errors and
find out by correcting them the
42
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,840
right way to do things.
Nobody in the world has ever
43
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,800
escaped from this law.
So what one has to expect from
44
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,800
others is not compliments all
the time, but praise of what is
45
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,760
right or well done, and
criticism of errors and
46
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,240
mistakes.
The more one can bear criticism
47
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,440
and see one's mistakes, the more
likely one is to arrive at the
48
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:22,720
fullness of one's capacity.
As for comparison with others,
49
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:27,040
one ought not to do that.
Each one has his own lesson to
50
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,640
learn, his own work to do, and
he must concern himself with
51
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:36,720
that, not with the superior or
inferior progress of others in
52
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:42,000
comparison with himself.
If he is behind today, he can be
53
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:46,760
in full capacity hereafter, and
it is for that future perfection
54
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,240
of his powers that he must
labor.
55
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,400
But learn to welcome criticism
and the pointing out of
56
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,200
imperfections.
The more you do so, the more
57
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:03,440
rapidly you will advance.
End Quote Reference Srioro Bindu
58
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,800
and the Mother.
Looking from Within, Chapter 2.
59
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,480
Looking at Oneself and Others,
pages 38 to 39.