SoberNotMature - Episode 198 (What's The Alternative?)

00:00:01.43
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome once again to another episode of Sober Not Mature. And you know what? I come to you today with more pumping power.

00:00:12.76
Mike
Your holes are stretched. You're welcome.

00:00:19.61
Bill
um Yes, but allow me to explain because...

00:00:21.27
Mike
yeah

00:00:21.89
Bill
ah I wouldn't have necessarily put it that way. I'm glad you did though, because that, uh, that's nice. That leads it into a, into a sick direction. I appreciate that.

00:00:30.40
Mike
you're welcome

00:00:30.53
Bill
Cause you know, I, I started off with that, with my pumping power, but, but yeah, so I had my, uh, my second, uh, procedure done on, on Tuesday and, uh, I've got, ah ah I'll do a little bit later, but I got not actually too many things, certainly not an hour's worth of but material on that one.

00:00:45.33
Mike
It is.

00:00:45.65
Bill
But yeah, probably, know I don't know. yeah I say 10 minutes, maybe it's 20, who knows what it is. But we can dip into it, just a couple of little things. But yeah, I mean, as I told Mike, because he's like, how you doing when we first connected?

00:00:56.69
Bill
I'm like, well, I'm not dead yet. So, you know, that's ah that's a good thing. So,

00:00:59.93
Mike
it is

00:01:01.40
Bill
Yeah, but other than that, I mean, hey, it's ah it's good. i'm I'm down in the Ozarks, got that done. And I don't know. I mean, it's ah it's same old same old shit, different day. But um yeah, that's a I guess that's about it on that.

00:01:13.46
Bill
i I'm living. I'm living. So.

00:01:16.34
Mike
Well, good.

00:01:18.17
Bill
But I do have actually a couple of different things that I wrote down. Obviously, the surgery thing, just a little bit. Some social media stuff about this year kind of winding up and that sort of thing.

00:01:29.16
Bill
New Year's resolutions came up.

00:01:29.53
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:01:30.92
Bill
I remember where I saw but a couple months ago when I wrote it down. But that'll be a good tie-in.

00:01:33.97
Mike
Nah.

00:01:36.01
Bill
I listened to a little bit, probably got a little bit. I might even listen to three or four hours of that Danny Trejo book.

00:01:41.62
Mike
Nice.

00:01:42.11
Bill
Um, and, uh, cause I mean, it's literally like 12 or 13 hours and I listened to it on the way down here, but, um, got a couple of quick notes on that. And then, uh, I don't know, a couple of, a couple other things that at some point, I know we want to read, uh, we still want to read how it works at some point, whether we do it tonight save it for next week or whatever we want to do that.

00:02:00.72
Bill
I don't know. I got all these different notes kind of in front of me, but, oh, you know what? Um, and that's actually, as I was, I thought about it the other day, we, we counted wrong. Our episode 200 is going to be with, uh, Jeremy.

00:02:11.90
Mike
Is it?

00:02:12.60
Bill
Yeah, because this is 198, and then obviously he's two weeks from from today.

00:02:14.77
Mike
Yep.

00:02:16.56
Bill
So not that not that it's a big deal, but –

00:02:16.89
Mike
ah Right.

00:02:19.77
Bill
count whatever it was, apparently we we can't count. So when we tried to count that out, whatever that was a couple weeks ago, ah clearly we we counted wrong.

00:02:23.93
Mike
All right.

00:02:28.12
Mike
h

00:02:30.24
Bill
But yeah, so we'll have ah we'll have a guest on for episode 200.

00:02:31.00
Mike
All right.

00:02:33.28
Bill
So it'll give us more reason not to do anything out of the ordinary. i

00:02:37.21
Mike
Exactly. Exactly.

00:02:38.41
Bill
That's what I thought. I'm like, God damn, hashtag blessed. We don't have to do anything. Got a guest. Can't do anything out of the ordinary. Yeah.

00:02:47.54
Mike
may

00:02:48.25
Bill
and But yeah, I think that's it. So um I don't know. you gotta ah You got a reading? Should we start off with something other people's? What do you say? Other people's good thoughts? Say that again. What is it?

00:02:58.46
Mike
yeah ah Yeah, start my day rolling around some good thoughts in my head that aren't mine, and that's kind of redundant.

00:03:05.78
Bill
Right, right.

00:03:09.26
Mike
all right um yes a reading all right well it is december the 12th month so uh a lot of the readings this week are uh you know 12th step uh you know what adjacent something like that um of course you know in the 24-hour book it's slip season yay god which go ahead

00:03:19.96
Bill
Right.

00:03:26.55
Bill
I know. I know. Yeah, there was those. Go ahead. No, go go ahead.

00:03:32.06
Mike
I mean, we've talked about it before, but yeah, it's just, you know, I don't understand why it's, you know, there's like a week and a half devoted to fucking slips right at the beginning of the holidays. Hey.

00:03:43.77
Bill
Right. And you know what? and And I wrote down, there was one one reading from the 24-hour book, and I've got the date and everything on here. And i don't remember exactly what it says, but I actually wrote that down to read it because I thought, you know, we we talked about this.

00:03:54.81
Bill
I know for a fact, last year for sure, probably the year before. And I i mean, you and I know our opinions on slips and in relapse and all that stuff. But you know what? It wouldn't hurt to, I think it'd be worth the five or 10 minute conversation on that.

00:04:06.06
Bill
But I've got, I'm glad you brought that up because I do have that that note on here that i'd I'd like to read that section.

00:04:06.60
Mike
Sure.

00:04:11.18
Bill
So, But yeah, I agree.

00:04:11.94
Mike
Cool.

00:04:12.98
Bill
It's like every day it's like blah, blah, blah.

00:04:15.16
Mike
Right.

00:04:15.34
Bill
Slip, slip, relapse, slip, slip. Yeah, we get it. We get it.

00:04:21.29
Mike
Slip yourself right into my fucking taint.

00:04:23.99
Bill
Yeah, yeah, what he said.

00:04:25.02
Mike
Anyway, but yes, so 12-step stuff, and um the readings this week have been heavy on that, and this is from um man yesterday.

00:04:37.96
Mike
And I thought it was pretty decent. This is from my Keep It Simple. So here we go.

00:04:42.47
Bill
Thank you.

00:04:43.48
Mike
December 4th. The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew... no if he if If he could read.

00:04:54.20
Mike
the The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. Some guy named Thomas Mc... McCaukey?

00:05:05.43
Mike
Sure, why not? Anyway, um we must live our new life all of the time. This is what the 12th step means by practicing these principles in all of our affairs. We try to be honest all the time. We don't cheat and we tell the truth when asked a question.

00:05:25.11
Mike
We learn that even if we can get away with something, we can't get away from ourselves. This makes our lives so much easier. Our relationships and our spirituality get built on solid ground.

00:05:40.06
Mike
We also come to trust in ourselves. We depend on ourselves to do the right thing, and we do. How nice it is to count on ourselves.

00:05:51.64
Mike
Prayer for the day. Higher power make me strong enough to practice the 12 steps in all of my affairs. Action for the day. Damn it. ah Have I done anything that's bothering me? If so, I'll set up a time to talk about it with my sponsor. The two of us can figure out how to solve it.

00:06:13.05
Bill
Okay, so since your ah sponsor is not on this podcast, what do you say? Let's ah let's try 7.05 real time. and so what what's Mike, what's bothering you right now?

00:06:19.95
Mike
ahha Yes. ah My wrist.

00:06:25.14
Bill
what what What did you do to your wrist?

00:06:28.66
Mike
I don't know. I think I sprained it.

00:06:30.74
Bill
ah Really?

00:06:33.46
Mike
um Yeah, it's been for a couple weeks. No big deal. But yeah anyway, that's neither here nor there. I went and bought myself a little brace today. And so hopefully I'll immobilize it and it'll get better. Or I'll chop it off.

00:06:48.54
Bill
You know, what's funny is the, those, those wrist guards I bought, I have, um, God, I think I have three of them. I have two, two smaller ones that, um, you know, just go around like the thumb area.

00:06:56.20
Mike
know.

00:06:59.69
Bill
Cause I've, I pulled, you know, like a thumb muscle or around in that, in that whole area.

00:07:00.30
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:07:03.86
Bill
And then I've got one that's a whole wrist guard, because, you know, I've had, um, I don't know, like almost like a carpal tunnel type of thing, depending on,

00:07:06.58
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:07:11.39
Bill
um, things that I've done over the years. So, um, I carry them with me because the key there is that, I mean, seriously, I know, I know you said that's neither here nor there, but if, if you wear it, I mean, even if you're not wearing it during the day, if you wear it at night, the heat is what, what does it, first of all, it reminds you that it's there.

00:07:19.57
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:07:27.20
Bill
So you're less likely to re-injure it.

00:07:27.45
Mike
Right.

00:07:28.92
Bill
But the, the biggest key is that the heat on there.

00:07:29.09
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:07:31.28
Bill
And I don't know, I, I kind of swear by him because, um, I've, I've used them for so many years. So, um, yeah, it's, I wish, well, on that side note there, I wish they had those.

00:07:37.20
Mike
All right.

00:07:41.81
Bill
They probably do, but i don't want to spend 50 bucks on one. um Shoulders, I keep every, my shoulders are all, I got probably have been fucked up for years.

00:07:49.72
Mike
hmm.

00:07:50.23
Bill
But I woke up, Tuesday obviously was the, was the surgery. And I slept, I must've slept funny on my, on my left side and woke up.

00:07:58.71
Mike
Funny how.

00:07:58.74
Bill
And I mean my, exactly.

00:07:59.42
Mike
Uh huh.

00:08:00.82
Bill
Funny, like I abused you, like your fucking shoulder hurts.

00:08:00.96
Mike
Right.

00:08:03.82
Bill
Yeah, that's goddamn funny.

00:08:04.09
Mike
ah ha

00:08:05.18
Bill
Like a, like a clown.

00:08:05.34
Mike
right

00:08:07.62
Bill
um But yeah, it hurt like fucking hell. And I'm like, well, fuck, man, I don't want to take, want to take any, like, I can take, you know, like a Tylenol type stuff. What do you call it?

00:08:16.24
Mike
hmm.

00:08:17.66
Bill
Why can't I think of the, there you go.

00:08:18.42
Mike
Acetaminophen.

00:08:19.89
Bill
See the benefit. Jesus Christ, man, where's my fucking brain?

00:08:21.96
Mike
hmm.

00:08:22.53
Bill
um

00:08:22.64
Mike
No.

00:08:23.96
Bill
But I didn't want to take anything going in for the surgery. And

00:08:26.20
Mike
Right.

00:08:26.91
Bill
You know, it's didn't get any better, you know, obviously just laying in a goddamn hospital bed. But and then finally, when yesterday took I took some or I took some on Wednesday.

00:08:31.22
Mike
Yeah. Mm

00:08:36.23
Bill
i don't know whatever the fuck it was. It's starting to feel better. But, man, it's just it's it's one of those endless things. Probably same thing with you. I mean, it's who knows what the work you do and you could easily, yeah you know, or is what what hand is it?

00:08:43.21
Mike
hmm. Yeah.

00:08:47.76
Bill
What wrist right or left?

00:08:48.60
Mike
It's the right one, of course.

00:08:49.69
Bill
Yeah. Okay. Or, or maybe, you know, I don't know.

00:08:52.44
Mike
Yeah, right overuse. I know.

00:08:56.12
Bill
Yeah. Just, I couldn't help myself, but, but you know, when, when I read that, the, um, that reading the other day, um, in the, the action part of that, I thought about, cause I know we talked about this probably last year.

00:08:56.68
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:09:05.10
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:09:05.77
Bill
I think we probably, we talked about it before, but, um, on a serious note, is is there anything literally in, in your, I don't know, in your life right now, that's, that's bothersome or that's like eating at you, um,

00:09:08.92
Mike
Sure.

00:09:18.36
Mike
Right.

00:09:19.06
Bill
i don't know that you'd feel like talking about it.

00:09:19.33
Mike
No. Right.

00:09:21.03
Bill
Right.

00:09:21.22
Mike
No, I mean, yeah, if there was, i would. um Yeah.

00:09:24.12
Bill
Right.

00:09:25.02
Mike
You know, fortunately, nothing that has anything to do with me and my actions and my behaviors. No. Um, I'm my side of the street is fairly clean.

00:09:35.27
Mike
There's some snow on it, but other than that, uh, yeah, no, um, I'm good.

00:09:37.34
Bill
but yeah

00:09:41.71
Mike
You know, I mean, yeah, there's shit that bothers me, but you know, it's, that's a powerless shit. Um, you know, other people, yeah, there's all kinds of shit that bothers me about other people, but, uh, but personally myself right now in this very moment, now I'm pretty fucking good.

00:09:58.75
Bill
Right. Yeah. And even, even with me, I mean, I've got the typical thing, you know, and the work shit, you know, the work, work stuff has been, it's been, it's tough, you know, but, but, you know, I always go back to the the same thing that I, that I have to convince myself of this all the time is that I'm not fucking around.

00:10:03.38
Mike
Right.

00:10:12.60
Bill
I'm putting forth my best ever for whatever reason, things, things are going in this direction that they are, you know, through no, um, you know, I, I don't know, maybe it is a fault of my own, but I mean, through no direct, um,

00:10:24.15
Bill
Not by my direct knowledge or actions or anything like that where you can look back.

00:10:26.56
Mike
Right.

00:10:27.63
Bill
You know how we we know.

00:10:28.41
Mike
Yeah, not intentionally and not even unintentionally intentionally, right?

00:10:28.91
Bill
We know when we're fucking off.

00:10:33.24
Bill
Yeah.

00:10:33.42
Mike
You know, we think we're not doing whatever or, you know, doing or but no, it's not. Yeah, it's just shit life, life on life's terms.

00:10:39.08
Bill
Right.

00:10:43.93
Bill
you know And in who knows? maybe Maybe I'm in the back of my head somewhere deep, deep in my self-conscious. I'm in a position where i don't it's not the job I want anymore. it's i want I want to do more with my life.

00:10:53.40
Mike
Mm hmm. Mm

00:10:54.69
Bill
So am I self-sabotaging deep down? Who knows? you know So i could go I could go that direction if I wanted to, but I'm like, yeah, fuck it.

00:10:57.46
Mike
hmm. Right. Yeah, well, we all can.

00:11:01.60
Bill
Right. Right. and That's not fucking worth it, you know, but, but yeah, I mean, for, for real things that, that matter. And like you said, your side of the street and, you know, i think about it as there, is there anyone in my life that I have conflict with?

00:11:09.60
Mike
Mm

00:11:15.78
Bill
I mean, there's, you know, there's one, one individual that is, um is kind of acting a fool to somebody else in my life.

00:11:15.97
Mike
hmm.

00:11:22.74
Bill
It's really important to me.

00:11:23.09
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:11:24.02
Bill
And I think I told you about this. I'm not going to, I'm not going to bring it up on here, but in that, that causes me,

00:11:27.93
Mike
Right.

00:11:30.42
Bill
a little bit of concern, but there's nothing I can do about it.

00:11:32.01
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:11:32.82
Bill
The person that, that I truly care about is handling it in the best way that that person can.

00:11:33.13
Mike
Right.

00:11:37.62
Bill
And the other person is just going to do what that other person's going to do, you know?

00:11:37.90
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:11:41.30
Bill
So I don't have any conflict with that person, but I'm not going out of my way to, um, to interact with that person in any way, shape or form.

00:11:41.30
Mike
Right.

00:11:47.83
Mike
hmm. Right.

00:11:49.00
Bill
We've talked about that, you know?

00:11:49.98
Mike
Right.

00:11:50.04
Bill
So, Um, and this is somebody that I care about also, you know, but you know, it's a, you gotta fucking pick and choose every once in a while and be like, okay, there's, I didn't even want to say the lesser of two evils or there's people in my life that I, that I care about, but if somebody is fucking with me and then the other one's not, and then the other one's fucking with that person.

00:11:54.49
Mike
Right.

00:12:08.93
Bill
Well, again, I'm not going to retaliate, but I'm not going to fucking deal with it either. You know?

00:12:13.24
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Well, here, check this out. um I came up.

00:12:15.99
Bill
ah

00:12:17.00
Mike
No, I came across this. um I was, you know, sitting here kind of just dicking her around on my phone for a few minutes before we got started. And a person in the rooms posted this thing and I said, I'm stealing it.

00:12:31.42
Mike
And I did. And I posted it. So let me read this. I think there's a point in your healing journey where you stop trying to convince other people to do the right thing. You just observe their choices, understand their character, and decide what you're going to allow in your life.

00:12:54.21
Bill
Yeah.

00:12:54.26
Mike
Yeah.

00:12:55.16
Bill
Yeah. ah yeah

00:12:57.91
Mike
Yeah, motherfucker.

00:12:59.03
Bill
Exactly.

00:12:59.35
Mike
Yeah.

00:13:00.51
Bill
you know you see all those things that people post that are like this. Yeah. And then nobody, ah that's, you know, the old saying is people post these motivational sayings. They're like, yeah, this, and then they do nothing to change their life.

00:13:11.47
Bill
Well, but that's one that I could, I could post something like that and say this and say, yeah, this is how we were taught to fucking live. Somebody just put it into clear words.

00:13:19.19
Mike
Yeah.

00:13:21.22
Bill
Yeah.

00:13:21.30
Mike
this Exactly.

00:13:23.22
Bill
So that could be a, hey, this is what we've been talking about. We just didn't know how to say it. But yeah, what does it say?

00:13:28.58
Mike
Right.

00:13:29.86
Bill
How what are you how much are you going to allow in your life? How did it put that?

00:13:32.57
Mike
God damn it, already closed it.

00:13:34.07
Bill
oh No, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. It's not a big deal.

00:13:35.61
Mike
ah Take two seconds.

00:13:37.18
Bill
Okay.

00:13:37.83
Mike
I think there's a point in your healing journey. That part can go away.

00:13:42.46
Bill
here

00:13:42.81
Mike
Where you stop trying to convince other people to do the right thing. You just observe their choices, understand their character, and decide what you're going to allow in your life.

00:13:55.48
Bill
Right. Yeah. Decide what you're to allow. i like that. Yeah.

00:13:57.55
Mike
Yep.

00:13:57.59
Bill
Cause that, and that's, that's the same thing. Like I, I guess I, what I was just saying, but that was put far better than, than I did.

00:14:01.54
Mike
Yeah, right.

00:14:02.54
Bill
It's just that, you know, I don't, I don't want to allow, um you know, the negative stuff.

00:14:02.71
Mike
he

00:14:06.56
Bill
It, it hurts me a little bit. I don't like to see that the individual that I'm talking about being fucked with, um, You know, but I mean, there's nothing I can do about it. I can, I can be there and I can be, can be like you always say, I can be a shoulder, I can be an ear, I can be, you know, just a, you know, just ah a warm body there to to occupy space if this person wants to, you know, just have but have somebody in a in a room and, you know, just be, I can do all that, you know, that's easy enough and, then, you know, I'm not allowing the the other fucking garbage in my life.

00:14:15.35
Mike
Right.

00:14:19.69
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:14:28.12
Mike
Yeah.

00:14:30.69
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:14:34.87
Bill
Because I tell man, I don't don't need the other garbage.

00:14:36.91
Mike
No. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

00:14:37.48
Bill
I'll tell you that much.

00:14:37.77
Mike
Right.

00:14:38.28
Bill
I get enough shit to fucking worry about, you know. And, you know, sometimes unjustly, but i that's that's the wrong way to put it.

00:14:40.66
Mike
is he

00:14:45.27
Bill
I have plenty of other things to focus on in my life. Good, possibly at times, and indifferent, but But, you know, I almost said bad, but it's not bad.

00:14:50.36
Mike
see

00:14:54.80
Bill
It's just, you know, bad as a, there was a, God, I was listening to a podcast the other day. um Who was it? Oh, I got another one about Jeremy Renner, but Jeremy Renner was, Joe Rogan had him on.

00:15:06.66
Bill
And I'm listening to far more Joe Rogan than I want to admit, but it doesn't matter. I'll get it, I'll get it at later because I got a couple of things on there too.

00:15:13.82
Mike
and Okay.

00:15:14.55
Bill
i I'll be honest. i'm I'm not a fan necessarily you know how to put this. um I'm a fan of the conversations he has with people that I that I care to listen to, if that makes sense.

00:15:25.18
Mike
Yeah, totally.

00:15:25.69
Bill
I wouldn't go like I listen to almost all of Mark's Mark Maron's podcast, even if I didn't know the person because I knew that whatever conversation he'd draw out an interesting conversation with whoever it was and it would interest me.

00:15:35.01
Mike
Sure.

00:15:37.25
Mike
Right. if

00:15:38.74
Bill
and I, I don't, I've just been picking through different stuff with Rogan. Um, but I, I tell you, I like, I like the flow of the conversation.

00:15:41.94
Mike
Right.

00:15:45.34
Bill
I like the, I like what he does. I like what they do in the conversation and the, they'll talk about a topic, but also just, ah it's just random conversations. But anyhow, so, um, Jeremy Renner said that is cause he went through this whole, this whole thing.

00:15:54.42
Mike
Right.

00:15:58.96
Bill
I mean, it was a, he was basically plowed under by a snow cat and blah, blah, blah.

00:16:02.01
Mike
Oh, yeah, yeah, That guy, right?

00:16:02.97
Bill
Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah.

00:16:03.81
Mike
Yeah, that's why I knew the name.

00:16:04.01
Bill
A couple of years ago, whatever. Yeah.

00:16:05.91
Mike
<unk> That's the only reason I know the name.

00:16:06.36
Bill
And,

00:16:07.83
Mike
What the hell is he in? He was like in some superhero movies or something.

00:16:11.70
Bill
You know what? And i I either forgot or didn't know about that, but he's so he's in a yeah a show that I watch now called Mayor of Kingstown. It's a Taylor Sheridan show.

00:16:18.68
Mike
Ah.

00:16:20.38
Bill
So Taylor Sheridan does Landman and did Yellowstone and all those other fucking ones.

00:16:22.66
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm.

00:16:24.70
Bill
But um so I know him from that.

00:16:25.00
Mike
Sure.

00:16:26.30
Bill
And that's that's after the accident. He recovered from it really well, honestly.

00:16:30.17
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:16:30.83
Bill
But he was talking about all these different things. And he's like, he goes, there's, you know, goes, yeah, I can look at, I can look at all these things. He goes, I get this, I get that. goes, I could stack up all these, you know, or say I had all these bad days. But he goes, you know, really?

00:16:41.98
Bill
He goes, they weren't really bad days. He goes, I had a, I had some, so a lot of bad moments that I ended up working through. And he's not, he's not sober. Because for for a minute there, I was thinking he was, but then he was talking about drinking wine every once in a while, this and that.

00:16:49.98
Mike
Right. a

00:16:54.34
Bill
so I don't think he's done anything with a, on a sobriety stamp.

00:16:57.10
Mike
He's not one of us.

00:16:58.49
Bill
No, no, no, no, not at all. But I mean, he went through a tragic event and had to heal and recover from it.

00:17:01.89
Mike
Right. who

00:17:03.37
Bill
So I think he's got a, he's got a whole different outlook. He's got this new lease on life, kind of like, you know, one of us would, but just without, you know, having to give up booze.

00:17:08.95
Mike
Sure.

00:17:11.57
Bill
Yeah.

00:17:11.61
Mike
Lucky bastard.

00:17:13.91
Bill
Yeah, I know. But it was just when, when you said that, yeah, he he talked about the bad moments that I was driving someplace and I'm like, yeah, that's what it is. Bad moments, man.

00:17:21.75
Mike
Right.

00:17:22.15
Bill
But, um, yeah, you know, I, I don't know. It just, there, there's so many things that, that we have to, and again, focus on or can focus on that's positive. don't, we don't need all that, all that fucking shit, you know?

00:17:32.04
Mike
Yeah.

00:17:33.16
Bill
Um,

00:17:33.27
Mike
Right. i ba i shit I barely have the energy and bandwidth to focus on the positive shit. I'm not going to try to focus on the negative shit.

00:17:41.30
Bill
Oh, I know.

00:17:41.32
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:17:41.90
Bill
It just takes too much work, doesn't it? It's just way too much fucking work. But so that started off with the measure. It said something about the measure of a man is what he will do if he would never be found out.

00:17:52.57
Bill
I know we've we talked about that before in the sense of either never found out or somebody is not watching and that sort of thing.

00:17:53.08
Mike
Right. yes

00:17:57.85
Mike
Right. That sort of thing. Right. Exactly. Live your life like, you know, parrot would fucking, yeah, whatever. Yeah. Town gossip, blah, blah, blah. There's a bunch of different ways it's been said.

00:18:07.35
Bill
okay

00:18:11.44
Bill
Yeah, the parrot, the tout the gossip, you know, you know, the parrot, the parrot.

00:18:12.70
Mike
Right. The parrot.

00:18:16.79
Bill
I know exactly what you're fucking talking about, but nobody else does.

00:18:17.43
Mike
Yeah, I know. Well, that's fine.

00:18:19.79
Bill
but You know, parent and the gossip and there was different ways to put it that makes sense.

00:18:23.95
Mike
Sure. Sure.

00:18:25.78
Bill
But but but no, I mean, that's that's always the and I don't really think about it much anymore. But I only think about it when we talk about it, because, you know, especially with what the traveling that, you know, that I do and that while the alone time that you have and and shit, even go back to, you know, the alone time that you had it, you know, in a couple of years sober when you were on the road again, you know.

00:18:46.17
Mike
Right.

00:18:47.17
Bill
Um, and the, the fact that, uh, again, we had it all these times, you we have, we have the time, we have the opportunity, we have the money, you know, we just don't have the desire to fuck up, you know, um, at least not today.

00:18:53.27
Mike
h Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right. a

00:18:59.45
Bill
Yeah, not right at this moment, but, um, but yeah, I mean, that, that is the thing, you know, what, Why?

00:18:59.86
Mike
Not today. Not right now.

00:19:07.24
Bill
Why do we, I don't know, what keeps us from doing all those things? It's a life that we want to live and realizing that maybe nobody's watching, but what's the end result?

00:19:17.42
Mike
Right.

00:19:18.11
Bill
What's the ripple? You 100 miles away in a hotel room, you're still hurting somebody, right?

00:19:19.13
Mike
Right.

00:19:22.20
Mike
Exactly. Yeah. Right. And and again, it always comes back to selfishness. I don't want the fucking pain in the bullshit that comes with it. And I and i always remember that there's pain in bullshit that comes with it every fucking time.

00:19:30.81
Bill
Right.

00:19:37.33
Bill
Right. Yeah. And I, and I know for a fact, I mean, if I, so, you know, again, and I'm here, I'm here for another week, um, you know, and I'm by myself. Yeah. I got to work. I got to wear, but I work remote. You know, I got to be on camera a couple of times.

00:19:46.88
Mike
Right. right

00:19:48.56
Bill
I could, I could probably get through and I could start drinking again. If I wanted, I could go out, start vaping and smoking. If I want my, you know, stents, stents to collapse and all that shit.

00:19:55.26
Mike
Sure.

00:19:58.48
Bill
Um, you know, but the thing of it is, is that even if let's just go on a, on a fucking whim out on a limb or a whim or whatever you want to call it, Or maybe out on a parrot.

00:20:04.33
Mike
All right.

00:20:08.11
Bill
Let's go out on a parrot with a town castle.

00:20:10.10
Mike
All right.

00:20:11.38
Bill
and And let's say that i could I could reel it in, you know, and after after after three, four days.

00:20:15.09
Mike
um i yeah Sorry, man.

00:20:17.68
Bill
Okay, let's just...

00:20:20.81
Mike
That just cracked my ass up. But go ahead. Right.

00:20:23.10
Bill
That's what I said, out out on a limb in fantasy land and all that stuff, that by the time I got back to Kathy's, I mean, then I had to live a lie, you know?

00:20:23.35
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:20:26.72
Mike
Yeah.

00:20:32.70
Mike
right

00:20:32.91
Bill
And then I've got, you know, next week when I get on here with you and all these different things.

00:20:36.25
Mike
yeah

00:20:36.47
Bill
So so now I've got to start, even if it's not that i that I start drinking, let's just say I do something that's this bad behavior, whatever that is, whatever that is um you know, maybe not sobriety threatening or maybe I don't, you know i have to break my sobriety, but I do something that I know is out of...

00:20:43.56
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah.

00:20:51.70
Bill
then I got to build a fucking lie. And that we've talked about before is a lot of fucking work.

00:20:54.09
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes.

00:20:57.68
Bill
Yeah.

00:21:00.66
Mike
How did I find the time?

00:21:02.33
Bill
I don't know. So, so you don't think I could reel it back in after three, four days, you know?

00:21:08.18
Mike
um i know I can't.

00:21:10.58
Bill
I know. It's just, i I had to, I had to step back into that, into that fantasy for a minute. Yeah. There's, i don't think there's a fucking, I know for a fact there's not a, there's not a chance in hell.

00:21:19.32
Mike
Right. And I mean, yeah and Why would you fucking want to?

00:21:20.94
Bill
There's not a fucking chance in hell. Right. Well, exactly.

00:21:24.12
Mike
Two or three drinks.

00:21:24.78
Bill
But that, that's the whole point. Yeah.

00:21:27.28
Mike
ah

00:21:27.70
Bill
Or even even two or three days, you know, just binge it out for a few days and and figuring, you know, could I reel it back?

00:21:31.54
Mike
Right.

00:21:34.78
Bill
There's no fucking way. There's just no goddamn way, you know?

00:21:35.67
Mike
No, no, nope. Thoroughly convinced. Not a chance.

00:21:40.92
Bill
Yeah, exactly. um But I got, yeah, that goes back to the note. I wrote down a note, so can't get away from ourselves. And finally, um i wrote down on here that I think it said something along the lines of, you know, finally we're able to actually count on ourselves, you know, and we're honest we don't cheat.

00:21:47.90
Mike
Yeah. Right.

00:21:57.96
Bill
And there was more to that, but I mean, there's, you know, things that, and yeah, I think that's, that's, I think it's important, just as important that maybe even more important you know the The fact that people can count on us I think is huge.

00:22:09.57
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:22:11.03
Bill
It's heartfelt and I love that that people can count on us. and you know Like Kathy said when she was out by you, that she doesn't worry about us you know drinking anymore. which you know First you were like, hey now.

00:22:19.16
Mike
Right. Right. Because that's yeah my first thought, of course.

00:22:22.90
Bill
But then you're like...

00:22:25.16
Mike
Oh, good. I got one suckered. Yeah,

00:22:28.65
Bill
Yeah, but then you're like, you know what, that's how nice to give somebody that, you know, to give somebody that, you know, is really what it is, you know.

00:22:31.42
Mike
he

00:22:35.86
Mike
yeah exactly.

00:22:37.50
Bill
You know, by doing this work, you know, we don't have to allow, we can give people the freedom to not have to worry about us all the time, at least not those basic worries, you know.

00:22:46.68
Mike
Right.

00:22:49.34
Mike
Yeah, exactly.

00:22:49.52
Bill
Right.

00:22:50.40
Mike
And I mean, yeah and again, back to the selfishness, but the fact that I can count on myself today is fucking huge.

00:22:57.11
Bill
Right.

00:22:58.16
Mike
I mean, you know, yes, other people count on me. You know, yes, it's nice. And you know most of the time, I'm Occasionally it's pain in the ass, but that's okay.

00:23:03.99
Bill
Right.

00:23:06.64
Mike
That's part of it. And that's fine. I'm i'm cool with that. yeah But, um, but yeah, you know, the fact that I can actually truly count on myself, it's, it's, so it's a little strange sometimes, even after 15 and a half years, it's still a little weird that fuck man, I'm reliable even to myself.

00:23:09.98
Bill
Right.

00:23:24.34
Mike
Um, yeah, but it's, it's great.

00:23:24.57
Bill
Right.

00:23:26.94
Mike
It's wonderful. And I'm, truly thankful for it it's one of the gifts of this thing that i'm i'm fucking my god i can count on myself wow you know and i know normal people are like well yeah of course that's the only person you can count on well hey guess what for fucking 20 years i really couldn't count on myself so it is a big goddamn thing so fuck you normie

00:23:51.10
Bill
Yeah. Hey, yeah you normie motherfucker.

00:23:53.88
Mike
who

00:23:53.94
Bill
You don't get it.

00:23:55.03
Mike
me

00:23:55.19
Bill
Fucking get it. Come, come talk to me when you understand what I'm talking about.

00:23:59.13
Mike
Right.

00:24:00.89
Bill
Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe. But yeah, it is. It's, uh, it's amazing that, uh, and that's what I said. I mean, it's probably just, you know, if not just as it could even be more important to, you know, to be able to count on ourselves.

00:24:13.00
Bill
It's, and it is, it's fucking weird, you know? It is fucking weird.

00:24:15.42
Mike
Yeah.

00:24:16.48
Bill
I mean, we we know we know we can be counted on, but we also know that, you know, we we know before anyone else does that we could be. count enough

00:24:24.47
Mike
Right. It's very bizarre.

00:24:26.10
Bill
You know, yeah, it is. It is really fucking bizarre. But I do. I like that reading. It was a when when I read it the other day and I remembered the once again, the whole thing about things bothering.

00:24:31.18
Mike
All

00:24:36.42
Bill
And, you know, even at that time, I i couldn't think of anything.

00:24:39.80
Mike
right.

00:24:40.25
Bill
You know, again, though ah the work thing is it it is what it is. I mean, that's kind of like, you know, who who's this the the percentage of people that are probably unhappy with their jobs or in weird, weird circumstances with their jobs is, you know, I'm not unique.

00:24:53.25
Bill
I'm certainly not the only one.

00:24:53.50
Mike
Right.

00:24:54.49
Bill
So, yeah, that's why I say that.

00:24:54.55
Mike
Absolutely not.

00:24:56.99
Bill
I don't know that that kind of is what it is. That'll work itself out at at some point. So.

00:25:00.98
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:25:02.04
Bill
So cool. What else? ah Anything anything else we missed from that or anything else that.

00:25:04.88
Mike
Nah, I don't think we missed a damn thing.

00:25:07.74
Bill
ha

00:25:08.57
Mike
We're all reliable and shit.

00:25:10.62
Bill
yeah We can rely ourselves to thoroughly go through a reading.

00:25:13.69
Mike
Yes, we

00:25:15.80
Bill
All right. So, um, Let me you know what talk about the in the the terrible year thing. And I think we talked about this. you know kind of This kind of goes along a little bit of the same lines.

00:25:27.30
Bill
you know We're reliable in our our our mindset and what we've learned and all those different things. And so I'm seeing on social media you know ah more and more towards towards the end of the year.

00:25:36.49
Mike
Mm.

00:25:38.70
Bill
probably been over last month or so when it will be until the end of the year.

00:25:39.15
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:25:42.50
Bill
but you know Everyone like ah you know how the year was terrible and already regretting next year.

00:25:42.94
Mike
Right?

00:25:47.43
Mike
Mm.

00:25:48.42
Bill
There's all these fucking memes.

00:25:49.99
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:25:53.37
Bill
the one The one that I saw yesterday or yesterday or the day before and I wrote down, the meme said this year was like being awake during surgery. Okay? Which... It was kind of funny, but then I'm like, I'm like, why?

00:26:03.60
Mike
Yeah.

00:26:05.25
Bill
I don't, I don't, I never understand. And it's been this way. We've been doing this for three and a half years. And I think we talk about this every fucking year.

00:26:11.80
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:26:14.36
Bill
What was, again, what was so bad about this year?

00:26:16.95
Mike
Right. I'm...

00:26:18.40
Bill
You know, I mean, like, us from a society standpoint, is there anything in that happened in and a society, in society that would, that made this year really bad? I mean, I don't, I can't remember anything.

00:26:28.70
Mike
I mean, you know, just the the gentle decline, but that's, you know, ah always. um But yeah, you know, again, what do you choose to focus on?

00:26:34.30
Bill
Right?

00:26:39.07
Mike
um Yeah, you know, yes, things are turning to shit. Things have been turning to shit for a long time. So fucking what? My life's all right because I i make sure my life is all right. Again, responsible.

00:26:50.74
Mike
um but But truly, i mean, you know, yes, to things there is a slow decline.

00:26:51.19
Bill
hey

00:26:57.86
Mike
That's yeah, you can't argue that. Um, but so what? Not, you know, I mean, personally, no, my, my life's all right. You know, um, you know, again, bad moments, but so fucking what, there's been some great moments too. Um,

00:27:13.72
Mike
You know, my life is fine. why Yeah.

00:27:15.75
Bill
Right.

00:27:17.04
Mike
You know, look around. Really? Your life's that bad? All right. Well, don't you do something about it? You know, instead of posting on fucking Facebook or Instagram, you know, it sucks.

00:27:22.07
Bill
yeah Right. Right.

00:27:28.71
Mike
Okay. Well, maybe put your fucking phone down, walk outside and rake your leaves or, you know, shovel your snow or, you know, mow your lawn, plant a flower, you know, fuck.

00:27:39.19
Mike
I don't know. Do something to make things better.

00:27:42.40
Bill
Right. Yeah. And I, like you said, I mean, slow decline. I mean, and I get it. I mean, from the political landscape has been, has been a shit show for, for years, even before, you know, I'll say even before Trump and even before Biden, even before whoever the fuck was before him, Trump.

00:27:57.46
Mike
Can you say Richard Milhouse Nixon? It's

00:28:00.86
Bill
hey But I mean, all of them, mean,

00:28:03.06
Mike
almost, you know, it's almost 60 years ago.

00:28:06.62
Bill
Yeah. And I mean, all politics have been a ah fucking mess.

00:28:07.19
Mike
Yeah.

00:28:09.42
Bill
And, you know, the the economy goes up and down. And back in the Carter years, when interest rates were at, you know, home interest rates, mortgage rates were, what, 30 percent.

00:28:13.96
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:28:17.56
Bill
And, you know, gas, the whole gas crunch and, you know, people waiting in line and all this different stuff.

00:28:17.94
Mike
Yeah.

00:28:20.79
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm.

00:28:22.92
Bill
I mean, and I remember the the first year that we got sober, um the people were when I worked at that place out in Rocky River, gas prices went through the fucking roof.

00:28:31.77
Mike
Right.

00:28:31.87
Bill
And I remember a couple of people that collect collectors there and, you know, people have been there for a while. So they were established, not like brand new collectors. But I remember the one guy complaining about get fucking gas prices all the time.

00:28:42.64
Bill
And then he's talking back and forth and just in a general group. And then he's like, so what are you to if, you know, gas prices get to this point? I'm like, i don't know. going to put fucking gas in my car. and I'm going to come to work.

00:28:51.61
Mike
Yeah,

00:28:52.09
Bill
I mean, what what else am I going to do?

00:28:52.41
Mike
right. Yeah.

00:28:54.48
Bill
You know?

00:28:55.73
Mike
Yeah.

00:28:55.74
Bill
and he's like, well, I'm good at this. And I'm like, oh well, fine. Go go do that.

00:28:59.06
Mike
Whatever. Yeah, go do that. Right. i I paid $2.27 gallon today. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:29:05.80
Bill
Yeah, and you know, I mean, gas prices are cheaper down here. Kathy was kind of amazed because, you know, when she got gas, it was, I don't know, like under, it's like $350 or something like that, $360 for, you know, premium gas down here.

00:29:17.65
Bill
And I told her, I'm like, it always is.

00:29:17.88
Mike
Ha.

00:29:19.00
Bill
It's cheaper, you know, down in this area for premium.

00:29:20.89
Mike
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:23.03
Bill
But um I don't know. It just, it it's this, it doesn't in from, and that's why, you know, kind of made the point, you know, we've been doing this for X number of years now, you know, gone through this cycle, you know, this end of year cycle, at least this might be, its is this our third year fourth year?

00:29:37.72
Mike
I don't know.

00:29:37.75
Bill
We started in 22. So 22, 23, 24, I'm counting guests. I'm counting on my figures right now.

00:29:41.98
Mike
Yes.

00:29:43.27
Bill
So this is our

00:29:43.32
Mike
Right. We'll be starting our fourth year.

00:29:46.36
Bill
Yeah, so this is our fourth cycle through this end of the year thing. um You know, so I don't know. I mean, all all four years were different. You know, so, but I mean, the same the same, I'm sure the same fucking people are complaining about the same goddamn things every fucking year.

00:30:00.15
Mike
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Guaranteed.

00:30:02.52
Bill
Yeah, and they're i'm I'm sure they have they have the same job. They have the same same spouse or significant other.

00:30:06.19
Mike
Uh-huh. Right.

00:30:08.12
Bill
um

00:30:08.25
Mike
Same fat, ugly wife.

00:30:09.50
Bill
i

00:30:10.63
Mike
Same stupid kids.

00:30:12.18
Bill
Yeah. And I wasn't even going to say wife. That's why I said significant other. Cause I'm like, you know, cause some, some chicks out there were some fat fuck, some lazy fuck for a husband, you know?

00:30:18.33
Mike
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Right. Mm-hmm.

00:30:20.78
Bill
Um, but all that stuff and you know, they're, they've done nothing, you know, again, back to this and then they do, they do nothing to change their lives.

00:30:25.65
Mike
Right.

00:30:28.09
Mike
Right.

00:30:28.98
Bill
You know, so um I don't know. I mean, I can take a look at this year. This year started off, um you know, ah I had one of the best trips I've had since I've been traveling. That was that whole Phoenix trip, that seven weeks or whatever.

00:30:38.42
Mike
Right.

00:30:39.50
Bill
But ah great from an experience standpoint, but it it kind of fucked me financially.

00:30:39.54
Mike
yeah

00:30:42.60
Mike
Right. Right.

00:30:44.62
Bill
You know, kind of for the entire year, because then my income, my income has been lower this entire year. So the work thing has not been great.

00:30:51.48
Mike
right

00:30:52.87
Bill
So I've had that. Right. So I started up with a great trip that I've had some work stuff. And then, I mean, I don't know that I'm sure there's been shit that's that's happened. It's weird. But then, you know, what a great um what a great time we had in, you know, getting all the family together in Chippewa Lake.

00:31:06.05
Bill
My my friend got, you know, got engaged, you know, and I and I cried when he asked me to be his best man.

00:31:06.10
Mike
right

00:31:08.98
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:31:12.28
Mike
Nice gash.

00:31:13.62
Bill
you know, and I mean, I, I, I fucked up. I fucked up my leg. had a worst wound I've ever had in my life on my, on my leg.

00:31:18.13
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:31:19.34
Bill
But you know what?

00:31:19.64
Mike
nice gash

00:31:20.95
Bill
Oh, it was, it was a fucked up gash. But, um, but you know what? I didn't, I didn't allow that, um, to get in my way.

00:31:27.22
Mike
me

00:31:28.93
Bill
Um, there was just the one trip when that trip that I was on that I didn't do the full hike because I mean, literally it just fucking happened. I wasn't going go down. That's the one where you said where you would have had to go down like whatever it was, 500 and some steps.

00:31:41.44
Bill
And then you're like, yeah, you don't want to do that because you'd be like, well, I guess I live here now.

00:31:44.50
Mike
Exactly.

00:31:46.16
Bill
When I got down there, i would' have been able to get out, you know. um but But yeah, then, you know, i I roll into the end of the year and I have a fucking heart attack.

00:31:54.49
Mike
Yeah.

00:31:55.70
Bill
You know, but, but you know what? I lived. Okay.

00:31:58.68
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:31:58.74
Bill
I mean, if, if I would have died, that wouldn't have made my year any worse. I mean, I didn't know any better.

00:32:02.86
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:32:05.23
Bill
Might've fucked up a couple other people in my life, I suppose.

00:32:07.42
Mike
yeah

00:32:07.62
Bill
But, you know, but the thing of it is like, I, like I said before, I mean, um, obviously, you know, I came out of it. I found out and all these different things that everything happened, you know, whether everything has to happen for a reason, but,

00:32:18.87
Bill
You know, I got it fixed. But the positive I take out of that, like I said, you know, kind of jokingly but also serious is that, you know, I i felt really loved and cared for during that time frame because, again, you get these true feelings out of these, all these people that are close to you.

00:32:30.10
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm.

00:32:34.78
Bill
And it was really, again, it's a fucked up way to put it, but it was really nice.

00:32:37.53
Mike
Yes. Mm-hmm.

00:32:40.15
Bill
I mean, I don't want people to to have – you know, to, to feel pain or suffer or sadness, but you know, it's like, God damn.

00:32:40.79
Mike
yes

00:32:48.34
Bill
Okay. That's, that was nice.

00:32:50.20
Mike
Yes, right. Yes. Perspective, man. How do you want to fucking look at it? Right. Ooh, I had a heart attack. Oh, poor me, poor me. Or, hey, fucking people like me.

00:33:01.01
Mike
Ooh, that's nice.

00:33:01.85
Bill
yeah Well, yeah. and And the other thing too is, I mean, I've obviously I'm following directions from the doctors and, uh, you know, everything like that. But, you know, I literally at, you know, at at eight o'clock, 8 AM, three days ago, I was, you know, I was laying in in a hospital bed with, you know, some shit shoved up my, I'm not going to say the G word anymore. Cause apparently there was, I'm going to call it my, my nutsack. I decided on this.

00:33:25.48
Bill
It's my nutsack backsplash. Okay.

00:33:27.93
Mike
ah

00:33:29.11
Bill
Or backboard. Do you prefer backboard or backsplash?

00:33:31.64
Mike
I like black backsplash.

00:33:33.14
Bill
Okay.

00:33:33.24
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

00:33:34.50
Bill
So, so I, I had something shoved in my nutsack backsplash and then jammed up into my fucking heart, you know?

00:33:41.37
Mike
Right.

00:33:41.91
Bill
And, and, you know, yesterday um i went out and I walked for five fucking miles, you know? And today I walked for just, you know, while i was working, I walked for a total of four miles. So I can sit back and I'd be like, eh, whatever.

00:33:53.10
Bill
and But, I mean, yeah, again, I'm following these doctors' orders.

00:33:53.59
Mike
Right.

00:33:55.98
Bill
They told me what to do and how to do it. um But I'm just not going to, know, fucking sit back. It's so funny. The last time, too, and even Kathy, she's like, as I'm, you know, kicking around on on Thursday when she was still here, she's like, I can't believe you just had a...

00:34:11.15
Mike
Yeah.

00:34:11.31
Bill
Heart procedure two days ago. And I said, well, I know I told you guys the last time I was fine, but I'm like, now you can actually see it. You know, I wasn't, I wasn't lying.

00:34:17.62
Mike
right

00:34:18.79
Bill
You know, I, I was, and you know, cause she's like, you know, get out and walk and blah, blah, blah.

00:34:19.16
Mike
<unk>

00:34:22.63
Bill
So I don't know, like you said, perspective.

00:34:22.97
Mike
yeah

00:34:24.51
Bill
And yeah, I'm sure you've had, you've had, I know for a fact you've had your ups and downs in, in life in general, it's your work life.

00:34:25.37
Mike
this is

00:34:28.25
Mike
Sure. Yeah.

00:34:30.87
Bill
Don't let me put words in your mouth, but I think that you've, you've had also had a good year, right?

00:34:32.44
Mike
Yeah.

00:34:34.59
Bill
Yeah.

00:34:35.03
Mike
Yeah. This year's been fine. Yep.

00:34:40.07
Bill
Yep.

00:34:40.69
Mike
ye Yeah. What do I want to focus on? You know, and and again, when I sit here and spend a whole lot of time looking back now, you know, sitting here right now in my house, it's warm.

00:34:49.30
Bill
Right.

00:34:52.83
Mike
The lights are on talking to my friend. It's fucking good. Things are great. Fuck.

00:34:57.94
Bill
yeah I know.

00:34:58.60
Mike
Yeah.

00:35:00.81
Bill
It's just, I don't, I don't know. But, it's the same thing we had, we just said a couple of minutes ago. What are you, what are you going to focus on? You know, what are you going to focus on? And, um, you know, what do you want to, uh, I don't know.

00:35:11.14
Bill
how do you want to live your life? You know, do you want to live?

00:35:12.18
Mike
Yeah.

00:35:12.95
Bill
Yeah.

00:35:13.27
Mike
Yeah. Do you want to be fucking miserable and focus on the negative or you want to be kind of okay and happy and, hey you know, shit's not that bad. Right. And and ah again, you know, the the overall decline, how much am I going to let it affect me?

00:35:21.65
Bill
Yeah.

00:35:28.76
Mike
You know not much, not much, man.

00:35:30.59
Bill
Right.

00:35:31.69
Mike
You know, I'm not going to allow myself to be degraded because society is fucking degraded. Fuck society. been saying that since I was 15.

00:35:42.84
Bill
Yeah. Fuck the man.

00:35:45.69
Mike
Yeah.

00:35:47.90
Bill
But yeah, and with ah you know what this, and we talk about it all the time, and i'm you know I'm sure it might come up in the next month or so, but this fucking New Year's resolution shit. And that's the one thing, and it was like like a month ago when it came when I heard it on the on the radio, some article that they were talking about.

00:36:02.30
Bill
but they were um And I think it was probably in, God, probably October, I think, when when this article came out. And the whoever this person was, you know, kind of had the same mentality as us.

00:36:13.30
Bill
They're like, you know, New Year's resolutions are great, but, you know, so many people, you know, plan, wait and plan and blah, blah, blah. And then they they build up these big expectations and then they they fail because, you know, they can't live up to their expectations, you know.

00:36:19.30
Mike
Mm-hmm. Okay.

00:36:26.00
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:36:26.14
Bill
And the the idea was like this article said, kind of like we talk about, number one, if a change needs to be made, do it now. you know, or do it incrementally over, over a number of months.

00:36:32.32
Mike
Yeah.

00:36:35.32
Bill
You don't need to make some big fucking grand statement. If you want, if you want to start working out or doing something like that, fucking do gradual start and start on the third Tuesday in June, if you want to, you know, and then put, maybe put goals for yourself or what you want to do every, who knows every X number of days or months, but I don't know, fucking new year's resolutions.

00:36:38.78
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:36:42.97
Mike
Yeah.

00:36:45.39
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:36:53.80
Bill
Fuck them. I've never made one and I don't, I don't plan on it ever because they're, don't know, you're setting yourself up to fail.

00:36:55.68
Mike
Right. Exactly. Yeah. We got sober in April.

00:37:02.97
Bill
Right. Yeah. And again, completely, completely unplanned. But, you know, I mean, hey, what what the hell?

00:37:08.03
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:37:09.97
Bill
I mean, and that's the thing. You know, if when people I don't know, it's I know people. I i don't know people. i I probably do. We probably know people that, you know, planned on specific dates and and maybe stuck to them.

00:37:22.05
Bill
You know, um you know, but I heard stories like that when people have tried to plan that, OK, I just I just need to get through this and then I'm going to do this.

00:37:22.61
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:37:30.14
Bill
I'm going to try to get sober, whatever it is. And, you know, just it just I don't want to say usually, but yeah, usually it it doesn't it just doesn't work, you know.

00:37:32.43
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:37:35.67
Mike
Right. Yeah, well, you know, right. It's the old joke in the rooms, man. How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans.

00:37:41.72
Bill
fair Exactly. Exactly. So, okay. A couple of things about, so Danny Trejo.

00:37:51.32
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:37:51.93
Bill
and Anyone who, if you don't know who Danny Trejo is and you're and you're a sober individual, yeah, exactly.

00:37:55.29
Mike
Who the fuck are you? Yeah.

00:37:57.05
Bill
Yeah. I don't know. Look look it up because I can't, he's fucking, yeah, you'll you'll know him in a heartbeat even if you don't know his name.

00:38:00.18
Mike
hey You'll know him.

00:38:04.54
Bill
But, um so, any idea, you Mike, since nobody else can answer me.

00:38:08.72
Mike
Hmm.

00:38:09.87
Bill
Yeah.

00:38:10.01
Mike
Yes.

00:38:10.35
Bill
Um, do you have any idea how, what, what his sobriety date is or how, how long he's been sober?

00:38:15.78
Mike
It's, it's like early seventies, right?

00:38:20.23
Bill
Uh, August 23rd, 1968.

00:38:23.77
Mike
Oof. Shit.

00:38:25.33
Bill
He's, so this fucker has been, I mean, he's been sober longer than I've been alive and you were, yeah.

00:38:25.39
Mike
All right.

00:38:29.62
Mike
Right. And I was yeah one. Wait, what was it? August?

00:38:34.30
Bill
Yeah. August of 68.

00:38:35.51
Mike
sixty eight yeah so i was like one and a half years old

00:38:36.10
Mike
68. Yeah. So I was like one and a half years old.

00:38:39.98
Bill
So you're one and a half years old. I wasn't even fucking born. I was literally a month and a day away from being born.

00:38:43.92
Mike
Nice.

00:38:46.86
Bill
So he said that he is the, and this cracked me up because I remember it in some of the movies, but he said he's the most killed actor in all of Hollywood history, which...

00:38:47.62
Mike
Sure.

00:38:57.97
Mike
Right.

00:38:59.47
Bill
I'm like, that's fucking awesome. And I remember some of the movies where he got killed. Like he was in, and I know you've never watched breaking bad, but he was in breaking bad and they ended up, uh, he got beheaded in there and then they put his head on a turtle.

00:39:07.16
Mike
sure

00:39:10.93
Bill
It was just long story.

00:39:11.00
Mike
right

00:39:12.36
Bill
And that was kind of his nickname type of thing.

00:39:12.76
Mike
All right.

00:39:14.24
Bill
But, um, so, uh, he started running meetings at prison. So yeah, if anyone doesn't know, I mean, he was, he was in prison.

00:39:19.13
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:39:21.16
Bill
He was a, he was a fucking bad-ass dude from like 12 or 13 on.

00:39:21.51
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:39:24.60
Bill
I mean, he's,

00:39:25.53
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:39:26.30
Bill
Family all fucked up. He was all fucked up and just, yeah, he was and he was in a bad he was in a bad way.

00:39:28.47
Mike
Yep. That heroin addict when he was a young teen. Right.

00:39:32.92
Bill
Oh, yeah yeah. I think, yeah, first time he did heroin, it might have been 12, 13 years old, something like that.

00:39:33.78
Mike
Yeah.

00:39:36.34
Mike
Yeah.

00:39:37.32
Bill
So he started running meetings in prison simply to help the prison keep their accreditation for for having meetings, which I thought was kind of cool.

00:39:37.36
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:39:45.68
Bill
um

00:39:45.69
Mike
this is

00:39:46.65
Bill
But he also wanted to be the chairman. So he admittedly got involved in the meetings and got other people involved for selfish reasons because they said, they said hey, if you you know if if you do this, we'll make you know if you get if you help us keep our accreditation, you could be the chairman.

00:39:54.36
Mike
Right.

00:40:00.25
Bill
So he he was he kind of wanted to be big time. so

00:40:02.78
Mike
Sure. Mm-hmm.

00:40:03.55
Bill
That's why he built the meetings. But then he started to see the changes in himself and and others. So I was just like, it's so here's here's a couple of things. First of all, um he's a you get used to it, but he's not the best reader in the world.

00:40:19.38
Mike
Sure.

00:40:20.12
Bill
Okay.

00:40:20.12
Mike
Right.

00:40:20.64
Bill
um He's just not.

00:40:20.95
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:40:21.92
Bill
And he's maybe, maybe he is, but um he's not good at it reading out loud.

00:40:22.20
Mike
Right?

00:40:28.22
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:40:28.90
Bill
Basically, you know what i mean? And he's, he's more of a, you know, like ah like a, somebody, somebody is's really bad at reading a script, I guess is the easiest way to put it.

00:40:29.75
Mike
right

00:40:37.02
Bill
But you don't really think about it too much because he's, um, his stories are number one, they're, they're just fucking crazy, you know, but in there, in there engaging and you know, you're like, Jesus Christ in this dude's been sober for 57 fucking years.

00:40:44.38
Mike
a

00:40:52.61
Mike
Yep.

00:40:52.72
Bill
Um, And I mean, it's it's so it's just so interesting. I don't know if from from a sober standpoint, great, great book, great great guy to listen to.

00:41:02.93
Bill
I think even as an, well, he taught i mean he talks, it's very sobriety focused, at least the parts I've been in so far, because it was such a big part of his life.

00:41:02.98
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:41:09.17
Mike
Sure.

00:41:10.93
Bill
um I don't know how the rest of the book's going to be, you know, but I would even think that anyone who just likes him as an individual and wants to hear a story of just an individual that was fucked up and literally headed for, I mean, there's there's no reason in the world why he should have ever gotten out of prison, that he ever should have gotten out of the system, and that he shouldn't have been dead, you know, when he was, i he should have been been made it to like 25, you know, had none of this stuff happened, but

00:41:23.40
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:41:28.90
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm. Right.

00:41:35.86
Mike
Sure.

00:41:39.38
Bill
I don't know. I'm enjoying the fuck out of it. It's ah it's yeah it's a lot of fun.

00:41:41.57
Mike
Cool.

00:41:43.10
Bill
It's a lot of fun.

00:41:43.31
Mike
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, he's a cool dude.

00:41:46.97
Bill
Yeah, I mean, just fucking ridiculously cool. Okay, so let me, yeah I want to jump back into that that reading from the 24-hour book since we were kind of dicking around about slips.

00:41:51.31
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:41:58.16
Bill
So this was this was from December 2nd.

00:41:58.84
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:42:03.21
Bill
Okay, this is the the thought for the day. So this is the opening of the the reading for anyone else who doesn't notice how 24-hour book is set up. So it says, the thoughts that come before having a slip seem to...

00:42:11.10
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:42:14.27
Mike
Yeah.

00:42:16.89
Bill
seem to be partially subconscious, and yet likely that at least part of these thoughts get into our consciousness. An idle thought connected with drinking casually pops into our mind.

00:42:23.27
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:42:26.61
Bill
That is the crucial moment. Will I harbor that thought even for a minute, or will I banish it from my mind at once? If I let it stay, it may develop into a daydream.

00:42:33.79
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:42:36.51
Bill
it may begin to i I may begin to see a cool glass of beer a Manhattan cocktail. Yeah.

00:42:42.58
Mike
Yup.

00:42:43.32
Bill
in my mind's eye if i allow the daydream to stay in my mind it may lead to a decision however unconscious to take a drink then i am headed for i'm just going to say relapse it says slip here so the question at the end of that and again and the so anyone who doesn't read the 24-hour book that opening thought always ends with a question and this one is you know do i let myself daydream so Um, and we've talked about this before, I know, but I thought it was a, although, you know, again, I I'm, I'm beaten up mentally by the, you know, fucking slip season, as you said too.

00:42:50.92
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:43:02.25
Mike
Right.

00:43:04.85
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:43:14.37
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:43:15.05
Bill
But I think this one is a, probably my, if I, if I, if I have a favorite, I like that one because it, I think it talks about things that make sense more than just, they could have done just this reading that could have enough for slip season, in my opinion.

00:43:20.19
Mike
Sure. Mm-hmm.

00:43:26.78
Mike
Yeah. Mm-hmm.

00:43:28.38
Bill
So um the daydream part of it or the the thought come into your mind, and I know we've talked about it before, but what is your thoughts and opinions again on on that passing thought and what to do with it harboring and how do we handle that?

00:43:40.69
Mike
Right. Well, yeah. I mean, the simple answer is play the tape through, you know, right.

00:43:44.98
Bill
Right.

00:43:45.98
Mike
I mean, yeah. So, you know, we've talked about it plenty, you know, do, do we ever never have the thoughts? No, of course not. They're always going to be there. They always come in. Um, you know, it's not constant again, you know, we're not sitting there harboring them.

00:44:01.27
Mike
Um, but yeah, you know, you have thoughts. I have thoughts, you know, um, I have thoughts and dreams. Um, um, Yeah, you know, um and yeah, so what do you do with them? Exactly. Well, okay, yes. would Would a drink be nice right now? Sure. Why the fuck not? You know, would a hit a fucking crack be nice right now? Yeah, of course it would. Would a shot of heroin be really nice right now? Yeah, my fucking wrist hurts. It'd feel great. Yeah. Okay. And then what?

00:44:34.52
Mike
You know, yes.

00:44:34.65
Bill
Right.

00:44:35.66
Mike
I get, you know, ah yeah. 20 minutes of pleasure. Then what? Um, playing that tape through, you know, then I'm going to have to get another one. Then I'm going to have to get another one. Then I'm going to fucking, you know, lose my house and lose my girl and lose my friends and lose my, yeah, I'm going to lose fucking everything, man. um So, no, maybe not. Maybe I'll just sit here and have my wrist hurt and be happy. Yeah.

00:45:02.26
Bill
Yeah. Take a, take an ibuprofen or something like that.

00:45:05.66
Mike
yeah

00:45:06.10
Bill
And, you know, fucking, fucking go to bed and, and stop jacking off for a couple of days until it gets better, you know, and then you'll be damn, use your left hand.

00:45:10.82
Mike
Damn.

00:45:13.18
Bill
of you can do that. Come on now. Just, just give that one, just give, give that, give that one a rest.

00:45:14.39
Mike
yeah Anyway. Yes. Yes.

00:45:19.02
Bill
But, um but yeah, you know, the, the, the whole point is, and yeah, so we talk about that all the time. And like you said, I have thoughts, I have thoughts all the time, which is, which is making me laugh, but I mean, it's, It's so true.

00:45:27.03
Mike
yes

00:45:30.78
Bill
And i still, we've, we've said it before and i I'll say it again, is that people who, um, you know, stand up at a podium or having a conversation or whatever and say, I never think about alcohol.

00:45:39.64
Mike
me

00:45:41.17
Bill
It never crosses my mind.

00:45:42.07
Mike
who

00:45:42.29
Bill
Fuck you. You fucking liar. You know, because.

00:45:44.57
Mike
Well, yeah, exactly.

00:45:45.21
Bill
Right.

00:45:45.49
Mike
Because you're thinking about it right now as those words are leaving your fucking mouth. You said the word alcohol, you're thinking about alcohol.

00:45:53.02
Bill
right Yeah.

00:45:53.91
Mike
By saying you don't you never think about it.

00:45:54.02
Bill
Yeah.

00:45:55.95
Mike
Well, you're thinking about it right now, asshole.

00:45:58.68
Bill
It was, what's the name of our group? I mean, you know,

00:46:00.92
Mike
Yeah, right. Alcoholics Anonymous. It's it's fucking everywhere, man. the Great fucking obsession.

00:46:04.86
Bill
right. Yeah. And I mean, yeah.

00:46:07.39
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:46:08.12
Bill
And you go to the goddamn grocery store and I mean, I, I, I noticed it in every, every fucking store I go into. I don't mean to, you know, but I, I noticed where, where the booze is in every fucking store, every fucking store.

00:46:17.44
Mike
Yeah, sure.

00:46:18.77
Bill
I pass bars all the time. I see it, all these different things.

00:46:20.34
Mike
Yeah, right.

00:46:21.93
Bill
And I, I can't, you know, we're, we're 15 and a half years into this goddamn thing, which is not forever, but it's a long enough time where I'm like, well, am I always going to notice that?

00:46:25.20
Mike
Yeah.

00:46:29.85
Bill
Of course I am.

00:46:30.49
Mike
Yeah.

00:46:31.01
Bill
Yeah.

00:46:31.42
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. I see a fucking beer can on the side of the road. What brand is that? yeah You know?

00:46:39.96
Bill
Right. Right. Right.

00:46:40.73
Mike
Yeah. It's just, it's the way my fucking mind works. It always will. That's fine. You know, what the hell, man? I'm beat myself up over it. I'm also not going to sit there and go, God, that Bush light looks really good. cause I know better. Didn't look good when I was drinking.

00:46:57.40
Mike
Didn't stop me from drinking them, but you know, if it was there and free and you know, Um, yeah, yeah, know of course it's always going to be there. What are you going to do with it is, is the question. And it's, you know, like I said, I play the tape through, okay, then what's next, then what's next, you know? Um, I mean, yeah, the,

00:47:18.81
Mike
what the reading's talking about is the focus on that cool glass of beer and that Manhattan cocktail and, you know, the, the neon of the bar and the, the laughter of the girls or the boys or whatever you're into, you know?

00:47:33.39
Bill
Right.

00:47:33.63
Mike
And yeah, you know, I mean, yes, it's, it's all fucking wonderful and you can sit there and, Again, what are you going to focus on, right? you going to focus on the positive. Well, in this case, no, I'm going to focus on the negative when it comes to alcohol and drugs, um because it's real easy to focus on the positive.

00:47:51.18
Mike
The positive is fucking great. You know, stop kidding yourself. Of course, it's great. Why did we do it for so goddamn long? Because it made us feel good. You know, um, But yeah, you know, so yes, I get the thought and then I go, okay. And then what? You're an alcoholic, asshole. It's going to fucking take you down.

00:48:11.13
Mike
You are powerless. Remember that first step? Your life is fucking unmanageable.

00:48:14.26
Bill
Right. Right.

00:48:18.84
Mike
Yeah. You know, so, um, yeah, you know, focus on that positive again, where, where are you going to put your focus? It all comes down to that, you know, in life this year, was it bad or was it good? Yes, it was. What are you going to focus on?

00:48:35.00
Mike
Alcohol is fucking alcohol. What are you going to focus on the good stuff for the bad stuff? And trust me, if you're an alcoholic like me, the bad stuff way far outweighs the good stuff.

00:48:46.88
Bill
Right.

00:48:47.22
Mike
doesn't negate the good stuff. It's still there, but it gets fucking crushed by the bad stuff because I can't fucking handle it.

00:48:55.70
Bill
Right. Well, and the and the thing of it is that I've seen it ah again more and more lately again, or now for some reason, I've seen it quite a few again posts, you know, my, again, my, my worst day sober is better than my best day drinking.

00:49:07.88
Bill
And you and I decided that's a fucking lie, at least to us.

00:49:10.35
Mike
Of course.

00:49:10.88
Bill
you know I mean, this there's no fucking way.

00:49:11.13
Mike
Yeah.

00:49:14.03
Bill
I mean, the we had, we had a lot of fucking fun.

00:49:14.63
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:49:17.05
Mike
Yeah.

00:49:17.34
Bill
You know, but we had a lot of fucking fun until it wasn't fun, you know, and that's the whole like like you just said, playing that tape through and realizing, OK, maybe, OK, there's 20 minutes of whatever pleasure we get or however long it is, or maybe we end up in ah in a circumstance where we can have a night of fun, which is probably not going to happen.

00:49:20.95
Mike
Right.

00:49:26.58
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:49:34.80
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:49:35.64
Bill
We got too much fucking recovery in our brains to have a whole night of fun.

00:49:38.07
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:49:39.72
Bill
OK, but even again, let's go into fantasy land and say that we have that That one night of fun. Like you said, then what?

00:49:45.83
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:49:46.87
Bill
Then we just blew everything up for one night of fun.

00:49:47.06
Mike
Yeah.

00:49:50.43
Bill
Fuck that.

00:49:50.57
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

00:49:52.34
Bill
yeah Fuck that.

00:49:55.30
Mike
Yeah, exactly. I'm going to take these, you know, 5,000 plus ah nights of, yeah, it's pretty fucking good.

00:50:05.50
Bill
Yeah. and And once again, I mean, it's, we're, we're the first ones to say it. I mean, life is not fucking perfect. There's some hard shit going on.

00:50:10.83
Mike
Mm-mm.

00:50:11.90
Bill
You know, we all have our, we have our moments. We have our, you know, we have our triumphs. We have our trials. We have our tribulations. We have all this different shit just like anyone else does.

00:50:18.17
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:50:20.38
Bill
Okay.

00:50:20.65
Mike
Right.

00:50:20.90
Bill
But. But I know for a fact, and you know for a fact, if either one of us introduce drugs or alcohol into our lives, again, we're fucked.

00:50:29.63
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:50:30.51
Bill
All this, whatever we whatever we even think is really good right now is not going to be there anymore.

00:50:34.61
Mike
Yep.

00:50:36.25
Bill
Done.

00:50:36.35
Mike
Yep. Yep.

00:50:38.84
Bill
So there, fuck. Jesus.

00:50:40.41
Mike
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Take that Manhattan cocktail.

00:50:44.25
Bill
Yeah. Oh, I got one. I got one more thing. i Oh, you know, we'll come back to that. It's a, let's do a break real quick. And then I got one more thing on Danny, on Danny Trejo.

00:50:49.34
Mike
ah

00:50:51.21
Bill
I missed this one. I think this is the one that, that you'll appreciate most, but okay. You ready?

00:50:55.78
Mike
Cool. I'm ready. Well, apparently we'll be back with more machete right after these words from our sponsors.

00:50:58.36
Bill
yeah

00:51:12.79
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome back. ah chate

00:51:17.56
Mike
he he he he.

00:51:18.87
Bill
I didn't even know how I skipped over this one. Okay. One one more fun fact about Mr. Trejo.

00:51:23.99
Mike
Yes.

00:51:26.10
Bill
the The way he tells this story, you'd never fucking know. He's like this this skinny white guy that's kind of a hippie and um said basically that he could hypnotize them, um hypnotize the group or anyone into thinking that they were they were getting high.

00:51:39.62
Bill
Okay. Okay.

00:51:39.96
Mike
Okay.

00:51:40.73
Bill
So, um, I'm like, well, this is guy, you know, again, you're getting drawn into the story and blah, blah, blah.

00:51:44.99
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:51:45.05
Bill
And whatever, whatever it was, this guy could do it. Cause he said the basics of, um, your, your brain remembers. Um, and I, I forget exactly how they put it, but the basics of it is the, the substance, um, has a reaction obviously in the, whatever the.

00:52:00.76
Bill
serotonin is that right whatever the whatever chemicals are are released you know by yeah that are released by your brain and you know that that causes the pleasure that you feel well that can happen because basically that um it's like information or data that's stored in your brain and that can be recreated without the substance given the right um basically being hypnotized given the right stimulus

00:52:01.88
Mike
Sure. That's, yeah. Mm-hmm. Chemical reaction. Yeah.

00:52:09.82
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:52:16.19
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:52:22.55
Mike
Yes.

00:52:23.48
Bill
Which I thought, I'm like, well, that's kind of fucking weird, you know, but, but anyhow, so he's he's explaining this and he's like, ah I, they, to the point where the either got them.

00:52:25.72
Mike
Yeah. Makes sense.

00:52:32.36
Bill
So they, they knew that they were like smoking weed or something like that. And then of course, look at Dan. He's like, he's like, can you make it, can you make us feel like we just did some heroin? Yeah.

00:52:42.06
Mike
Great. Oh, yeah. hey

00:52:43.51
Bill
but and And he did. was able to do that, too.

00:52:47.34
Mike
Hmm.

00:52:47.35
Bill
And then he's like, he's like this guy, he goes ah he goes, this guy could have been anything he wanted had he you know had he just focused and taken these talents that he had of you know gathering people and in all these different things and could have used them for good rather than you know being a lifelong criminal and blah, blah, blah.

00:52:56.16
Mike
Hmm.

00:53:03.67
Bill
And this was this was before his big event, before he came famous. But the guy was Charles Manson.

00:53:07.55
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:53:09.87
Mike
Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Sure.

00:53:12.50
Bill
And, you know, I'm like, I'm like, Jesus Christ. So, yeah, this was, you know, Charles Manson. He's talking about basically how um just, you know, charismatic he was and whatever kind of shy and laid back, introvert type of thing. But that the fact that he had this ability, obviously, to.

00:53:27.42
Bill
Well, I mean, we all we all know the story, but, you know, to to gather people and get people to follow him and and all those different things.

00:53:29.34
Mike
sure

00:53:33.10
Bill
And this guy was Charles Manson. I'm like, holy fuck. Fuck me.

00:53:38.12
Mike
All right.

00:53:38.78
Bill
Yeah.

00:53:39.76
Mike
All

00:53:40.12
Bill
But yeah, like I just I accidentally skipped over that one. So, OK, so back to back to drugs a little bit. I'm going to do I'm going to give you my my quick recap of my my surgery thing because it involves drugs.

00:53:47.32
Mike
right. Cool.

00:53:50.68
Bill
I was able to it's able to get a freebie again.

00:53:51.32
Mike
Sure.

00:53:53.36
Bill
So um the the short story is Kathy was going to fly down here.

00:53:54.01
Mike
cool

00:53:57.64
Bill
her Flight got canceled. She ended up driving down, which I thought was. which I thought was wonderful. She ended up driving all night.

00:54:02.49
Mike
sure

00:54:04.23
Bill
And I didn't know she was going to do that. i I went to bed before she did it. I woke up with the, I'm going to drive. And it was like 11 o'clock at night or whatever. um I would have suggested against it because I didn't necessarily need her to be there that that day.

00:54:17.05
Mike
Sure.

00:54:18.46
Bill
Um, but you know, she, she drove down here. She was, you know, like three hours away by the time I get up. So it is what it is, but she got down here, got down here safe and blah, blah, blah.

00:54:24.54
Mike
Right.

00:54:27.07
Bill
So, um, I drove myself over to the hospital.

00:54:27.55
Mike
Good.

00:54:30.33
Bill
She got there excited to be there two hours early. Anyhow, they get me prepped to do the whole thing.

00:54:33.03
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:54:34.13
Bill
Um, you know, didn't put me on anything yet. And then she just, she came in, she was hanging with me until they were going take me back. And then, um, I had asked the, I think when we were right before we were going to go back, um,

00:54:45.46
Bill
into the, cause they were, you know, I was in the, I wasn't in the ER, but one of the rooms off of that, like the outpatient clinic side of things.

00:54:51.12
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:54:52.06
Bill
Um, but again, kind of like, uh, like you'd see on a TV show, like a big open room and then just separated by curtains, not in a physical room.

00:54:52.15
Mike
Right.

00:54:58.10
Mike
Right.

00:54:58.90
Bill
So, um, then I said, uh, I don't know whatever we were talking about because she was like telling me what the procedure was and this, and I'm like, I know you I had the one before.

00:54:58.96
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:55:06.40
Bill
So same type of thing at least I'm comfortable, you know, with what's going on. And I said, uh, she's like, you know, don't worry, we'll give you some, you know, medication, whatever, and some anesthesia, And I said, last time they gave me, they gave me Versit is that same, same thing.

00:55:09.94
Mike
Right.

00:55:17.96
Bill
Cause I said, I never really was out.

00:55:19.99
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:55:20.19
Bill
And she's like, she's like, actually we're, we'll give you Versit and more likely you're going to get some fentanyl too. And I almost said something. I'm like, ah, fuck it, man. They know what they're doing. You know? And I'm like, well, I, I get to, I get to do up some fentanyl.

00:55:29.03
Mike
All right.

00:55:33.06
Mike
All right.

00:55:34.20
Bill
So I don't know if they gave it to me. I think they probably did. But so I got versed it again and in, you know, maybe some, maybe some fentanyl. So I've, I can now say I'm done.

00:55:45.42
Bill
I've, I've been done by, I haven't done it. I've been done by some fentanyl.

00:55:49.18
Mike
all right

00:55:50.59
Bill
Um, but the funny thing is, is that, so this time, which is weird, um, I think they, whatever they gave me, whether it was the, the double dose like that, that's why I'm thinking they probably gave me some of that.

00:56:01.06
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

00:56:01.37
Bill
Um, I, I never went completely out again, but, um, as I was thinking back, things were like hazy towards, I wasn't really there as much as I was the last time I felt like I was more present the last time.

00:56:13.85
Bill
Um, but it was funny right before she gave me the, uh, the, the start of the, the verse it, she's like, okay, we're, we're about ready to, you know, start giving you the, I don't care medicine. And I'm like, I'm like, yeah, go ahead.

00:56:24.73
Bill
You know, i and I was, it was funny cause I was sitting there and waiting for the feeling to come over me.

00:56:30.33
Mike
Right.

00:56:30.46
Bill
Cause I'm like, you know, trying to figure out when, when it's going hit me type of thing. And I don't remember what it did. So that's why I'm thinking that whatever, whatever it happened, happened. Um, but so this time they ended up, they ended up stitching me up rather than having to, you know, pull the sheath and do the pressure and that whole thing.

00:56:44.46
Bill
So, I mean, I only had to lay flat for four hours this time rather than six. So that was good. That was a little bit of a break. Um, they were, I didn't have to go to ICU this time. By the time I got back to the re the room in the recovery room, they didn't have me on any IV drip or anything like that.

00:56:59.70
Bill
I still had the blood pressure, still had the, um, you know, pulse ox on my finger, that sort of thing, monitoring that and doing whatever, Um, and even when they, when they got back, when I got back to the room like that, they really didn't even check the incision all that often.

00:57:03.90
Mike
Right.

00:57:11.69
Bill
I did, you know, as I, you know, cause I'm just kind of taking a peek there.

00:57:12.91
Mike
Right.

00:57:15.55
Bill
Cause you know, they're, you know, they give me this whole thing. They're like, you know, so just so you know, you know, if you feel like, you know, things feel any wetness down there, i feel like you, you know, like went to the bathroom on yourself, let us know immediately.

00:57:26.63
Bill
Cause that means you're bleeding, you know?

00:57:27.70
Mike
right

00:57:28.50
Bill
And I'm like, no, I remember that from last time I said, don't worry. I'm i'm not gonna, I don't feel like bleeding out at this point, you know?

00:57:33.69
Mike
Yeah, rather not.

00:57:33.87
Bill
Yeah. But, um you know, the only thing was, is it it was done so early. And then I was in by the time I got into the room, you know, out of the the lane flat part was down in the room that I started in.

00:57:45.71
Bill
And Kathy had left before I, she left probably three o'clock or something like that. Cause she was, she was like about cashed out, you know, at that point.

00:57:52.54
Mike
Yeah, right.

00:57:52.87
Bill
Um, and then, uh, uh, they took me back to the room, you know, so it's like, you know, two, two 30 that I'm like, fuck man. I'm, I just, I'm just sitting here. know, I gotta be here all fucking day. And at that point I'm like, I just want to go home, you know, not go home, but you know, i just want to leave.

00:58:03.06
Mike
Right.

00:58:06.01
Mike
Yeah.

00:58:07.09
Bill
It was, so it was, it was actually, it it felt almost worse because, um, you know, like the last time I was, I was laying, I really wasn't able to be mobile to like 1130 at night.

00:58:07.15
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:58:17.23
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:58:17.53
Bill
You know, so it was, I don't know. It was just, it's part of me just felt like it was like a really long fucking time. um But the nursing staff was great. The doctor, you know, he, he came in early. He did his rounds. I think he was there before seven. um Oh, I, I didn't forget to do my readings when I went to bed.

00:58:35.96
Mike
hey

00:58:36.44
Bill
Got, got that. Didn't, that wasn't anything. um I, I woke up early enough when they came in to take blood.

00:58:39.45
Mike
Right.

00:58:42.66
Bill
I had set my alarm for, I was going to 6 a.m. because they said that normally the doctor made his rounds around 7. So I'm like, I want to get up. I want to do my do my prayers and i do my readings.

00:58:51.03
Mike
Right.

00:58:51.52
Bill
And I think I did my prayers like 4 or 5 when I get up to go to the bathroom. i'm like, I'm going get this done now. I can do my readings, whatever. um But then he came in and he did he did all that. And, you know, he kind of said, everything's good.

00:59:02.93
Bill
Do you want to go? And I said, yes. So then, you know, just took them a little bit to kind of organize things. But they got me out of there relatively, you know, quickly. I think it was, i don't know, 10, 30 or so

00:59:10.81
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:59:12.92
Bill
by the time, 10, 1030, whatever that was when I sent that text by, but yeah, yeah. Cause Kathy was going to be there. She was on a call until 1030. So I was actually, I was ready to go by like 1030. She got there like 11, whatever it was.

00:59:24.62
Mike
Right.

00:59:25.27
Bill
So that was all, that was all fine. But um yeah, one of the nurses towards the end, she's the one that was doing the discharge. And I mean, very cool. And she came in like part of that, that morning shift that day.

00:59:36.36
Bill
So I didn't really interact with her too much, but she was talking about, i don't know, we were talking back and forth and she asked what brought me to the area and blah, blah, blah. And so talked about that a little bit. She's like, Oh, she goes, I, you know I used to do a lot of hiking.

00:59:46.80
Bill
ah She goes, I, she goes, I lived in Colorado for years. She goes, I lived in Breckenridge. I'm like, are you serious? So I'm like, that's where my daughter and son-in-law got married. she's like, where did they get married?

00:59:55.03
Mike
Right.

00:59:55.93
Bill
So we're talking about that. was just kind of fun, you know, the small world.

00:59:57.11
Mike
m Nice.

00:59:58.69
Bill
Um, but then, uh, yeah, I mean, all said and done, um, you know, the, the incision part, uh, oh, well, first of all, where they put the, the IV ports this time, both of them bruised and they said it might've been because of the blood thinner and stuff like that, you know, could have caused the bruising, but yeah, I've got, I've got like two, two like little knots on my arms.

00:59:58.71
Mike
Yeah.

01:00:10.40
Mike
Yeah.

01:00:14.94
Mike
Right. Yeah.

01:00:19.95
Bill
It's one of the things, part of me, I'm like like, God, I'm glad it's not summer. But then the other part, I'm like, God, I wish it was summer. I would love to go into a gas station and have people look at me and be like, this dude's a fucking drug addict.

01:00:25.35
Mike
Yep. Right. Uh-huh.

01:00:29.87
Bill
you know And then I'd be able to say something like, you want to ask, don't you?

01:00:30.12
Mike
Really?

01:00:33.31
Bill
But you don't want to ask, do you? hu

01:00:34.76
Mike
Really?

01:00:35.67
Bill
Is he a drug addict or was he in the hospital? Come on.

01:00:37.75
Mike
right

01:00:37.91
Bill
Which which one do you think it is?

01:00:39.32
Mike
ahha

01:00:39.90
Bill
Because I would.

01:00:40.12
Mike
food

01:00:40.30
Bill
i would just I would fuck with people if I had the opportunity. But...

01:00:43.70
Mike
really

01:00:44.66
Bill
i

01:00:45.56
Mike
Uh-huh. Right.

01:00:46.33
Bill
Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah yeah, I know. Like I'm telling you, telling you something you don't know, but, um, but no, I mean, i honestly all, all said and done, it's all good. Um, oh, this one, I don't know if I, I told you guys in the, uh, uh, text message group text, but so yeah, the, the first one, So the left one, and Kathy and I looked it up, the left one is that's the one that they call the, like the widow maker.

01:01:06.99
Bill
That's the bad one, you know, or the the main one. That's the one they fix first. So that one back in October, that was 90% blocked.

01:01:10.81
Mike
right

01:01:15.54
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:01:15.59
Bill
This one was 80%.

01:01:17.86
Mike
Right.

01:01:19.10
Bill
So, and I, I only laughed because I lived, um, you know, but yeah, I was fucking think about that.

01:01:22.32
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:01:25.10
Bill
Fucking 90% on one side, 80% on the other. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, you know?

01:01:27.90
Mike
Yeah.

01:01:29.38
Bill
Um, but, but once again, you know, they're going through all this different, they didn't do, they, they didn't go through any of the stuff like last time with the, with the diet.

01:01:29.54
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:01:36.51
Bill
They're like, you know, we don't even have to give you different medications. You already have everything. Any questions?

01:01:39.99
Mike
Right.

01:01:40.87
Bill
I'm like, no, it's all the same as it was last time, you know?

01:01:43.13
Mike
Right.

01:01:44.41
Bill
But I don't know. I mean, all all said and done. The only thing I'm trying to get in place now is I need to to do a follow-up appointment. I need to set up with a cardiologist back in in Valpo.

01:01:55.54
Bill
Um, so I talked to the, the lady that, uh, the primary care nurse practitioner that looked at my leg before they referred to me out.

01:01:55.69
Mike
Yeah.

01:02:02.49
Bill
So I talked to her today. And so I'm going to probably go in and see her the week I get back. And then, um, she'll just end up referring me out to a cardiologist so I could do my follow-up. And then I think every, I don't know, once or twice a year, I'll have to go in for a follow-up or something, but but i don't know i mean um you know so far the the thing of it is the the two things that i that i noticed over the last couple of days um i'm tired um you know but i i was to begin with when that that first week after the last one um i mean by the end of the day like yesterday i mean i got i i slept until fucking eight yesterday because didn't work i took off yesterday and then um all said and done having to work today i mean i was i went to bed i'm like i will try to get to bed early i went to bed getting stuff ready by, by literally went to sleep by 10, but it's like, you know, nine 30, quarter to 10 and I'm doing my, my 10 step and my, you know, my prayers.

01:02:29.80
Mike
Right.

01:02:36.96
Mike
Yeah.

01:02:51.08
Bill
I'm like, and I mean, again, I slept till eight.

01:02:51.53
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

01:02:54.63
Bill
I mean, Jesus Christ.

01:02:55.80
Mike
ah

01:02:55.83
Bill
But, um, you know, just, but that's, and I looked it up and it's normal. They're like, yeah, I mean, your, your body is recovering from, even though I don't feel it's fucking weird.

01:03:00.17
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:03:02.91
Mike
Sure.

01:03:05.19
Bill
I mean, yeah, my, uh, my backsplash hurts, you know,

01:03:07.90
Mike
Yeah.

01:03:08.22
Bill
My nutsack, nutsack back. That's hard to say. Can I just say back?

01:03:11.51
Mike
Yes, it is.

01:03:12.79
Bill
I'm just going to say backsplash. You know, you know what I'm talking about.

01:03:14.17
Mike
That's fine. i We do now.

01:03:15.26
Bill
you know what I'm talking about?

01:03:16.30
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:03:18.81
Bill
My backsplash, baby. um But it's sore, you know, but they said, just keep an eye on it. Make sure the same thing is last time. They said, if there's any sort of in this, I'm, I'm not trying to be weird about this, but if there's any type of, you know, hardness underneath the incision that spreads, that means it's bleeding on the inside, which it's fine right around the incision, you know, cause that, that happens, but everything's fine.

01:03:34.48
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

01:03:40.70
Bill
You know, a little bruised.

01:03:41.18
Mike
Yeah.

01:03:42.14
Bill
That's ah just a little bruised there where was it wasn't before.

01:03:42.49
Mike
Yeah.

01:03:44.10
Bill
But, um, like said, I'm a little tired, but, but I'm fucking fine, you know?

01:03:48.86
Mike
Yeah.

01:03:49.23
Bill
And I just, I modern, modern medicine.

01:03:49.43
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm.

01:03:51.59
Bill
i don't know what the fuck. It just, it's, it's mind blowing. It's kind of crazy, you know? So, But yeah, that's, that's it, man. I get nothing except for the, you know, the, the freebie and the fact that I got to, got to, you know, I, I had some, some fentanyl done to me.

01:04:04.78
Mike
Alright.

01:04:06.26
Bill
Did you never did fentanyl, did you? I think I got, do I got, uh, I, okay.

01:04:07.92
Mike
It wasn't around.

01:04:10.63
Bill
Mark went up for Bill. So I had, I got, I got sobriety, blood alcohol level in fentanyl. Okay.

01:04:16.54
Mike
ah Yeah. Winning.

01:04:19.93
Bill
fucking Fucking winning.

01:04:22.81
Mike
it it is it it

01:04:24.28
Bill
what are the What are the three things that make you happy? Oh, well, let's let's see.

01:04:26.87
Mike
Right.

01:04:27.52
Bill
When it comes to my friend, I've got him. yeah I got him fucking beating these three things.

01:04:29.77
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:04:31.28
Bill
and that's a That's all I need.

01:04:33.78
Mike
Right. And you had a heart attack first. There's four.

01:04:36.28
Bill
Oh, shit. i got Yeah, fuck. I got you on the heart attack, too. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I was going to say, you know, you got to try to catch up, but please don't. Please don't.

01:04:43.80
Mike
No, I'd rather not. Not today.

01:04:46.46
Bill
no Not at all. So, okay. So that's it. Any questions for me? Any any questions for me?

01:04:52.89
Bill
I know you know, just fucking with you.

01:04:54.64
Mike
yep

01:04:55.22
Bill
So, um but yeah, with the with the whole Joe Rogan thing, you know I've listened to, they had Billy Bob Thornton.

01:04:59.54
Mike
ahha

01:05:01.31
Bill
I listened to part of Jim Norton. I'll go back to him. um

01:05:04.21
Mike
Ah, little Jimmy Norton.

01:05:05.40
Bill
i I know you do, and that's why I wanted to bring bring it up. um tom Tom Segura is a very good friend of his, so I listen to him.

01:05:07.93
Mike
Yep.

01:05:11.25
Mike
Hmm.

01:05:11.64
Bill
That was a great conversation. um And I like him, too. And then Jeremy Renner I listen to, and then he's got Bill Murray on now. i've been I started listening to the other day.

01:05:18.93
Mike
Ah.

01:05:20.59
Bill
know what the funny part is? he's Bill Murray comes out, and he's like, ah he goes, hey, just so you know, he goes, he goes ah he goes um I'm glad to be here. Everyone told me I needed to come on here. But he said, he goes, I had i had no idea who you were.

01:05:29.72
Mike
Hmm.

01:05:32.66
Bill
okay

01:05:32.93
Mike
Right. Uh-huh.

01:05:33.75
Bill
He goes, he goes, when I walked in, he goes, the reason I said that, you know, the the only reason I introduced anybody said kind of nonchalantly said, you know, you must be Joe. Cause he goes, I, because I never, guess I didn't look you up because I didn't even know what you look like, but he goes, I, because I heard you do, you know, you kind of a fit this guy and you look kind of built. So I just assumed that you were Joe. Yeah.

01:05:51.22
Mike
aha

01:05:52.28
Bill
um But ah so the, you know, all these different things and a great conversations. And like I say, it's just, it's weird, but um I'm, I'm a fan of the, again, people that I want to listen to.

01:06:02.94
Bill
He's got great conversations and they're whole different kind of like we talked about, you know, before that, thankfully we, I think we've had that with guests.

01:06:06.22
Mike
Right.

01:06:08.94
Bill
So that maybe that's the draw. um But so with, with Jeremy Renner, you know, again, Jeremy Renner going through all that different stuff and they were talking about all these different things, obviously, but they ended up talking about suffering, you know, the fact that,

01:06:20.73
Bill
Um, suffering is, and here's a part that I wrote down.

01:06:23.56
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:06:24.44
Bill
Jeremy Renner said, he said, suffering, um, is a necessary part of life. He said, you can, you can either suffer voluntarily or you can suffer involuntarily.

01:06:28.36
Mike
Yeah.

01:06:31.52
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

01:06:33.43
Bill
I thought that was interesting. That's why I wanted to bring that up. So, um, do you, does that phrase make, make sense? Does it, does it make sense? And do you agree with it?

01:06:41.77
Mike
Um, yeah, I mean, well, yeah, of course, you know, so pain and suffering are part of life. Absolutely.

01:06:47.12
Bill
Right.

01:06:47.96
Mike
Um, yeah, I, you know, you can do it voluntarily or involuntarily. Right. Which I mean, again, goes back to it's part of life. It's going to happen. Um, um, yeah, you know, I mean, um, yeah.

01:06:57.69
Bill
Right.

01:07:03.42
Mike
um I would rather do it involuntarily, you know, ah did it voluntarily for a very long time and ah figure I got that out of the way so that, you know, that's taken care of.

01:07:07.13
Bill
ah Right.

01:07:16.26
Mike
So now any suffering that comes into my life now will be involuntary and I'm kind of okay with that. ah Right. You know, I mean, why would I want to, that's like way too Catholic for me, fucking intentional suffering.

01:07:30.66
Mike
um

01:07:31.16
Bill
yeah You know, that's a good point. I didn't think about that. And I'll tell you what I was thinking about in a minute, but um but that's yeah it's a good point.

01:07:41.27
Mike
You know, as a former Catholic, as a child, Catholic child, ah yes, I won't go for the voluntary suffering anymore.

01:07:51.06
Bill
You know, and what i what I thought about and the reason I wrote that down, first of all, is the, um you know, um necessary in life. I thought, I'm like, and it is, like you just said.

01:08:00.07
Mike
Right.

01:08:00.14
Bill
I mean, it's it's part of life. We have to, well, we don't have to, but yeah, it's going to happen.

01:08:03.59
Mike
It's going to happen. It's going to happen.

01:08:05.32
Bill
So you've...

01:08:05.86
Mike
Right.

01:08:06.87
Bill
Yeah, you might as well accept the fact. And that that's what I thought about.

01:08:08.50
Mike
Yeah.

01:08:10.46
Bill
The voluntary suffering I thought about was the the acceptance of of that. So I kind of looked at the, like like you said, you very, very good point.

01:08:16.13
Mike
Hmm.

01:08:19.26
Bill
i did I did it up voluntary suffering, you know, all the things we did while we were we were drinking.

01:08:22.34
Mike
Yep.

01:08:24.34
Bill
I wasn't thinking about that, but that's that's a really good fucking point.

01:08:25.88
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

01:08:27.42
Bill
So I 100% agree with you. And the Catholic part of it is funny and also fucking true.

01:08:31.38
Mike
yep

01:08:33.02
Bill
Also true.

01:08:33.05
Mike
ye

01:08:33.98
Bill
So I agree with that. But I thought about that from, again, from an acceptance standpoint. I'm like, okay, I can choose to, the involuntary, I'm i'm going to suffer one way or the other.

01:08:43.61
Mike
is hey

01:08:44.40
Bill
And I thought about the involuntary part of like, you know, not not coping with it or not accepting it versus the voluntary part of it. It's like, okay, this shit's going to happen. It's part of life. So I thought about it from an acceptance standpoint.

01:08:55.61
Bill
I don't know if that makes sense at all.

01:08:56.82
Mike
Sure. Yeah, that makes sense. Right. But yeah, again, you know, to when I hear voluntary suffering, it's I'm going to play a part in that.

01:08:59.58
Bill
but

01:09:06.94
Mike
I'm going to, you know, if it if again, you know, taking responsibility for everything in my life.

01:09:07.00
Bill
right right

01:09:13.25
Mike
And and yeah, if there's suffering, it's, you know, Um, it's, that's my fault. Okay. So the involuntary stuff is not my fault. It's still going to be there, but it's not my fault.

01:09:24.17
Mike
I didn't cause the suffering to myself or others. Um, yeah. So, you know, again, I'm going to stick with the involuntary stuff at this point in my life.

01:09:34.26
Bill
Right. And that's why, I mean, I don't disagree with that. I was just thinking about it from the, yeah it's, it's a good point.

01:09:38.33
Mike
Right.

01:09:39.26
Bill
I, I don't know. I mean, I can look at it both, both ways, but I agree that the, I, the clearest part is, is what you said about the fact that, you know, if you really, in my opinion, now that you said it.

01:09:49.50
Bill
is that, you know, if you really want to separate what is voluntary versus involuntary, what a fucking easy way to put it.

01:09:53.69
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:09:55.25
Bill
You know, when we were drinking and using and and doing all the things that we do, we are literally voluntary, volunteering or voluntarily bringing on suffering on a, on a fucking, you know, day by day, minute by minute basis.

01:09:55.57
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

01:10:03.22
Mike
Yes. Yes.

01:10:08.05
Mike
Yep.

01:10:10.71
Bill
I mean, it's just all the fucking time, you know, and now we, you know, now it's just life, you know?

01:10:10.82
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yep.

01:10:16.41
Mike
Yeah.

01:10:17.75
Bill
Like you said, life on life's terms.

01:10:20.95
Mike
he

01:10:22.93
Bill
But yeah, I don't know. was just that Jeremy Renner, was he was interesting to listen to. And like i said, he talked. um me the That was probably more focused on one thing. I think they talked for like two and a half hours and almost all of it was based on the the accident and how he came out of it and how he went back to work. And he started a like foundation and all these different things. He's helping out you know ah people in need and all these different things. His whole different outlook on life. And that's it was... it was

01:10:53.59
Bill
Once again, kind of interesting to me in the, in a sense that I didn't know the conversation would be like that or his, his way of looking at it. But, but yeah, I mean, he, he went through a literally a near death.

01:11:03.79
Bill
My, my life is probably fucked forever event um and came out of it. And, you know, now he's like, he's like, whatever was said, you know, going to do this or are you going do that?

01:11:14.11
Bill
And he's like, well, what's the what's the alternative? That was his, his answer to everything is like, what's the alternative?

01:11:16.40
Mike
Yeah. here

01:11:18.75
Bill
Am I just to sit back and do nothing?

01:11:18.78
Mike
Right.

01:11:20.39
Bill
You know, can you fix that?

01:11:20.75
Mike
Yeah.

01:11:21.59
Bill
Can you do this? Are you, go what's the alternative? And I thought that was fucking great.

01:11:23.99
Mike
Yeah.

01:11:25.45
Bill
It's like everything, every, his mindset is what's the alternative.

01:11:25.90
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:11:30.30
Bill
I'm going to do this regardless. Cause what's the alternative, you know?

01:11:33.06
Mike
Yeah.

01:11:33.79
Bill
And I thought, man, what a great fucking way to look at it. I like him and I like him to begin with, but I mean, I, I like him more now after, you know, hearing where his fucking head's at, you know?

01:11:36.90
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:11:42.93
Mike
Sure.

01:11:43.86
Bill
So, yeah, it was just it was just interesting. But oh, Billy Bob Thornton said on Landman, dumber than a bag of hair. Just we'll leave.

01:11:51.49
Mike
All right.

01:11:52.34
Bill
We'll just leave you with that. That was that was just a little dumber than a bag of hair.

01:11:53.66
Mike
all right

01:11:56.74
Bill
I'm like, what does that even mean?

01:12:01.75
Bill
All right. So this one is from ah from Keep It Simple. This is recent, I think it says today I'll think of three things I can do to help spread the message of the program. um So what do you think that and I don't necessarily want to know, I mean, whether it's three things or whether in a general sense, what do you think either you do or what do you think the best ways are for us to and spread the message?

01:12:24.10
Bill
that Sounds fucking religious, but you know what I mean?

01:12:25.66
Mike
Yeah, right.

01:12:26.10
Bill
you know, kind of like get, get it out there of who we do or, um you know, how can we, you know, talk about our program or, I mean, i I, don't know. I'm not going put words in your mouth, but how do you think that we could spread the message?

01:12:37.62
Mike
Well, we could do a podcast.

01:12:40.12
Bill
That's the, that's the easy one, isn't it?

01:12:40.25
Mike
Yeah.

01:12:41.70
Bill
Right.

01:12:42.52
Mike
ah I don't know, man. Yeah. this you know, ah yeah, again, religious prophesying.

01:12:52.73
Bill
Right.

01:12:52.78
Mike
Um, yeah, you know, not my scene. Um, but you know, clearly if, if someone asks or, you know, just be an example, you know, uh, attraction other than promotion kind of works for me.

01:13:07.10
Bill
Right.

01:13:09.12
Mike
uh, you know, I'm not going to go stand on a street corner and, you know, shout about sobriety. of because that's just a waste of goddamn time um but yeah you know i don't know yeah again being available you know if somebody has a question i'm certainly going to answer it um if i can be of help yes you know um an example attract that's that that's it attraction rather than promotion that's i'm not going to promote this at all um you know we're just having a fucking conversation but um

01:13:14.64
Bill
Right.

01:13:19.19
Bill
Right.

01:13:43.93
Mike
yeah You know, I don't.

01:13:47.35
Bill
Right. Well, and that's why when when I said I'm not going to put words words in your mouth, I almost said attraction rather than promotion. and i didn't want to I didn't want to say that because I didn't i figured you were i figured you were thinking it, but I didn't want to i didn't want to throw that out there.

01:13:57.78
Mike
Right.

01:13:59.61
Bill
but so And that's what I literally when I when i read that. The reason I wrote it down is because um it it is what we talk about. And it's what the the whole mindset of of Alcoholics Anonymous is, is the attraction, not promotion.

01:14:12.12
Bill
And, you know, our mindset of not getting out there and, you know, you you don't you're not supposed to.

01:14:12.14
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:14:16.52
Bill
And we don't you know, we don't preach about it. We don't try to, you know, draw people in. Like you said, you can't drag people off of our schools, all of this shit, you know, but but this thing here that we do.

01:14:23.06
Mike
Right.

01:14:27.24
Bill
Um, and once again, we, and I think everyone knows, unless you're new to listening to this, we started this for us. It was completely fucking selfish, you know, 100%.

01:14:34.49
Mike
Yeah. Yep.

01:14:38.08
Bill
And quite honestly, it still is right.

01:14:40.41
Mike
Yeah.

01:14:40.88
Bill
I mean, we understand we're, we're not fools and we've been told, you know, that, that we've, we've helped a couple of people or what we say might make sense to a couple of people, if nothing else.

01:14:47.74
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm.

01:14:50.61
Bill
Um, but if we, if we get tired of doing this and we don't, you know, get the satisfaction out of it anymore, or it becomes work more than, you know, I guess joy, right.

01:15:01.22
Bill
You know, if you want to put it that way, um, we're not going to do it anymore, but, um, We've also you know assured people we're not just going to try to tune into an episode one week and we're going be gone unless I die.

01:15:01.27
Mike
Yeah, right. Sure. Yeah.

01:15:12.22
Bill
you know Then maybe Mike may have to struggle to try to figure out how to get back out of the air.

01:15:12.85
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

01:15:15.89
Mike
Hehehehehehe.

01:15:17.94
Bill
But I already told him. He he only he knows he's just got to grab my computer. That's a good start.

01:15:21.29
Mike
Yep.

01:15:22.02
Bill
you know

01:15:22.21
Mike
Yep.

01:15:23.42
Bill
So he's got that part.

01:15:23.60
Mike
I'll figure it out from there. Right.

01:15:25.02
Bill
Yeah. And that's, and yeah, once, once you have this piece of equipment in front of you, then, you know, even, even if you need some help, I mean, everything that people, anything that anyone needs or you would need is, is right here in this little portal that I'm on right now.

01:15:36.66
Mike
Yep.

01:15:36.79
Bill
But um yeah, so I mean, the podcast is one, but that's what I was thinking about, you know, I mean, cause even, even going to a meeting is really not, I mean, telling our story up in front of a bunch of alcoholics, I mean, it is spreading the message, but is it, you know, I mean, it is, but yeah,

01:15:46.97
Mike
Hmm. Yeah.

01:15:51.51
Bill
Not, I don't think in the way that I'm thinking of it, I'm thinking of, you know, general society is, you know, if we're out doing what we do, um, we're, we need to get out there and be examples.

01:15:58.78
Mike
Yeah.

01:16:01.95
Bill
You know, we're not, we're not there saying, okay, I'm going to head out today and be an example.

01:16:02.20
Mike
Yeah.

01:16:07.06
Mike
Right. he

01:16:07.80
Bill
I'm going to go down fourth street and then take a right on main and go around here. Mike, you go up to fifth and then go to the left.

01:16:13.46
Mike
Yes.

01:16:14.30
Bill
let's Let's spread the message of hope. hey

01:16:16.67
Mike
Let's go knock on some doors. Have you heard the word? Yeah.

01:16:20.79
Bill
Oh, fuck. I just saw a... yeah Um, oh yeah, I know what it is. Um, and I'll get back to this in a second. Cause I'm going to forget this if I don't tell you. So I just saw the meme the other day. It's just this guy standing at the door and he said, uh, knocks the door to guy opens the door and it says, you know, hello, sir, you found Jesus? the guy's like, Jesus, he's he's like, Jesus. He goes, what did, what'd you do? Lose him again. I'm like, I got to remember that.

01:16:48.76
Bill
not that Not that I had a bunch of people come up and ask me if I found Jesus, but if anyone ever said, I'm like, well, I didn't know he was lost.

01:16:55.51
Mike
Right.

01:16:55.67
Bill
but

01:16:56.04
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:16:57.66
Bill
but um But yeah, I mean, us I think us just going out and and being who we are,

01:17:03.82
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:17:04.63
Bill
And like you said, somebody asked a question. We've had family members ask questions. And it's not even as much as that, just meeting people, you know, that we end up meeting and, you know, we're we're sober. I don't know. You know, maybe that I'm not saying that I inspired anyone in in the hospital because I told everyone that would fucking listen to me that I was sober.

01:17:14.67
Mike
Right.

01:17:21.17
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:17:21.31
Bill
You know, but maybe that, you know, those individuals take a look at that and they're like, well, Jesus Christ, you know, it's like I was looking at like, how the fuck can I have a heart attack? You know, I mean, I don't drink.

01:17:31.43
Bill
I don't smoke anymore. I eat well and do whatever, you know, so maybe this is a and I'm again, I'm not saying and it's an eye opening thing, but everyone's got to have their expectations or their or their mindset about, you know, what brings people in or what what happens to people.

01:17:33.78
Mike
m

01:17:44.80
Bill
But it's like, oh, okay, so this person's out, you know, doing good things.

01:17:44.95
Mike
Right.

01:17:47.96
Bill
Oh, and they're sober too. You know, this person, he's a decent human being.

01:17:49.53
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:17:51.50
Bill
Oh yeah.

01:17:51.83
Mike
Right.

01:17:51.86
Bill
Well, he's sober. I wonder if that has anything to do with it, you know?

01:17:54.42
Mike
Yeah.

01:17:54.97
Bill
Um, so I don't know, you know I mean, that's the, that's the best way. I can't think of any other way that, I mean, yes, going to a meeting and telling our stories that is, you know, we're, we're, so we're spreading the message and we're, you know, obviously giving the message out to, you know, the newcomers and stuff like that.

01:18:06.68
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:18:10.46
Bill
But those, that's a captive audience, you know, that's a,

01:18:10.46
Mike
Right. Yeah, right. that's yeah And that's somebody who's kind of looking for something. Right. I mean, you know, yeah. You know, i but giving someone a different perspective, like ah a normal person, those damn normies, you know, hey, look, that guy is a fucking junkie in and in a drunk, you know. Yeah, yeah, I am. Hi, how you doing? You know, yes, and I'm here, you know, whatever, you know, volunteering at fucking, you know, the city of Cleveland crap, you know, thanks to Chris.

01:18:43.81
Mike
I get to do that a couple of times a year now.

01:18:43.88
Bill
Right.

01:18:45.97
Mike
um Yeah, you know, I mean, that's that's being an example. It's spreading the word, you know, and it's, again, not walking around with the shirt on saying, hi, I'm a drunk and a junkie.

01:18:56.53
Mike
I'm just, you know, but yeah, you know, sometimes if it if it if it comes out, you know, I'm certainly not hiding it.

01:18:56.58
Bill
Yeah.

01:19:04.32
Mike
You know, I'm not embarrassed by it or anything like that. It's just, yeah, you know, yeah, look at that guy. He's out here doing good things. And oh, by the way, yeah, he's a raging alcoholic and he still fucking is.

01:19:17.85
Bill
yeah He's just not, he's just not active. That's all.

01:19:20.50
Mike
Right.

01:19:20.78
Bill
He's just, you know, he's in, he's in remission. Like, uh, like somebody be in, or somebody would be in remission from, you know, from cancer or any other goddamn thing out there.

01:19:23.34
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:19:27.32
Mike
Yeah. Exactly.

01:19:29.59
Bill
So, but yeah, I don't know. It's a, yeah, it's the more I, and when I wrote that down, I, I wasn't, I didn't, I didn't think about it from a religious standpoint until I started reading. I'm like, oh, that kind of sounds like, yeah, spreading the message, the word.

01:19:40.54
Mike
Yeah, yeah, right.

01:19:42.95
Bill
Right.

01:19:43.26
Mike
Yeah, you know, and a lot of people do confuse the two in the rooms.

01:19:46.62
Bill
Right.

01:19:48.02
Mike
I see it all the time, right? That's okay, too. You know, you do you and that's great, but I'm going to be over here doing me. And guess what? It's got nothing to do with any of that.

01:20:00.09
Bill
Right.

01:20:00.73
Mike
And that's okay.

01:20:02.04
Bill
Yeah. And, you know, I mean, we've, again, we've talked about it plenty of times, you know, both of us walked in these, in these doors and in these rooms and, you know, kind of wondered how we were going to deal with the, you know, wondering the, with the God thing and the, you know, whatever the thing was.

01:20:13.18
Mike
is

01:20:14.12
Bill
And then, you know, it's what a, what a great opportunity or what a great thing to to find out that it's not a God thing, you know, that's,

01:20:20.80
Mike
Yeah.

01:20:21.28
Bill
literally nothing to do um you can use that as ah is a side note and you know the thing about all the all the you know the priest i mean shit we have father bill on here you know whatever that was handful of months ago um you know a priest and you know in his in his 70s has been sober for for fucking ever and uh you know he he does his priest things over here and he does his aa stuff over here and you know they're they're two separate he does both things they're not one thing you know

01:20:24.85
Mike
Sure. Uh-huh. Right.

01:20:36.76
Mike
Yeah.

01:20:41.11
Mike
Yep.

01:20:44.50
Mike
Right, exactly.

01:20:45.94
Bill
Which, um I don't know, I think that the first time we, and I think it was probably, who do you know, the first time i heard ah a priest give a lead. And um I don't know, that was a, that was a kind of a big eye opener for me, you know, because I wouldn't, I wouldn't have, um I wouldn't have known, you know, how a priest would handle that sort of thing.

01:20:58.19
Mike
Right.

01:21:03.85
Bill
But it was, it was very comforting to know that, um you know, a priest is going to just, yeah, they they separate it. they're like, there's your thing over there.

01:21:09.96
Mike
Yeah.

01:21:11.42
Bill
And here's our thing over here.

01:21:12.26
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:21:12.82
Bill
And I'm like, well, that's, yeah.

01:21:13.38
Mike
Yep.

01:21:16.14
Bill
That's lovely.

01:21:17.05
Mike
It is.

01:21:17.22
Bill
That's absolutely fucking lovely. All right. So um one more quick one. And this was, I don't even know if this was in a reading or it just came across my head. um Sense of humor. So when do you think you, when you got sober this time, when do you think you got your sense of humor back?

01:21:32.66
Bill
um

01:21:33.06
Mike
Mmm.

01:21:33.53
Bill
You know, like, and I, it's kind of a two part question, but the second part is when you think you were like, when you were able to start laughing and all that, well, that's the second part. Nevermind. So when let's do the sense of humor first, when do you think you started to get a sense of humor or at least some sense of humor back?

01:21:48.54
Mike
I mean, pretty pretty early, you know, because, I mean, my my sense of humor does tend to be fairly dark and, ah you know, and early recoveries full of fucking darkness.

01:21:56.79
Bill
yeah

01:22:00.59
Mike
So, all yeah, you know, i and it's clearly always been a coping mess mechanism for me.

01:22:00.59
Bill
Right.

01:22:09.43
Mike
um my entire life. So, I mean, yeah, I don't think I ever lost it. You know, even, I mean, probably towards the end of of my drinking and using days.

01:22:20.70
Mike
Yeah, it was, ah um there wasn't much humor involved, not true humor. um You know, I'd laugh at other people and in ah in a mean way, just trying to make myself feel better.

01:22:27.48
Bill
Right.

01:22:33.03
Mike
um But yeah, you know, ah actual humor was pretty goddamn quick coming back in. Yeah.

01:22:39.80
Bill
Well, and you made a good point. and That's the reason I laughed so hard is that, cause I mean, I've got a, I've got a dark sense of humor too, which is fun.

01:22:45.46
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:22:46.00
Bill
um And then, you know, you're around these, you know, 40 or 50 guys in this, in this place and, you know, there's still no fucking women around so we can just, you know, say and do, you know, I mean, Phyllis obviously was around, you know, but um again, you get a bunch of these fucking guys with, you know, basically, you know, no, no social skills, no true social skills and no, you know, no, no fucking filters.

01:22:54.75
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

01:23:04.82
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:23:06.25
Bill
And, you know, so yeah, we, there was a lot of dark humor going back and forth, but the, the second part was, um, when do you think you were able to start laughing at all the things that you went through?

01:23:06.65
Mike
a this is

01:23:17.32
Bill
Because I mean, clearly we do it now, you know, obviously that, you know, you, you falling down the driveway with your pants down and coming in with two black eyes.

01:23:19.80
Mike
Right.

01:23:23.41
Mike
ahha

01:23:25.94
Bill
It's, it's fucking hilarious. It's one of my favorite parts, favorite parts of your story.

01:23:27.51
Mike
Yes, it is. Right.

01:23:30.32
Bill
um but i don't know.

01:23:30.49
Mike
Right.

01:23:31.61
Bill
When do you, when do you think you got, uh, you were able to start laughing at that?

01:23:34.71
Mike
yeah right, yeah truly starting to laugh at myself. Um, I, I, I probably after, you know, finishing the fourth step, actually looking at myself and, you know, um, cause you know, the guards are still up before then and, and you, yeah you hadn't looked at yourself and, taking responsibility for yourself.

01:23:37.59
Bill
right

01:23:56.32
Mike
So yeah, you know, around four and five, probably truly being able to laugh at myself um and, and not feeling guilt and shame and and remorse and all that crap.

01:24:07.76
Mike
um Yeah. You know, probably after doing the fourth step and the fifth step, you know, that's part of why they're there.

01:24:12.71
Bill
Right.

01:24:14.34
Mike
So we can look at ourselves and go, Jesus, what a fucking moron. Yeah.

01:24:19.16
Bill
Right.

01:24:19.37
Mike
Yeah.

01:24:20.60
Bill
Right. Yeah. And it was funny.

01:24:21.53
Mike
yeah

01:24:22.16
Bill
it was funny when you said that, because I was ah actually, before you said it, I was thinking, oh my God, like ah probably around maybe a year, which that's, that's when, I mean, it's when we did those, you know, maybe it maybe even a little bit more a year, year and a half to get completely loosened up.

01:24:28.98
Mike
Yeah, that would, yeah, right.

01:24:35.89
Mike
Yeah.

01:24:36.04
Bill
But yeah, I mean, that's, that is, yeah you're right. I mean, that's a, that's a great point.

01:24:38.39
Mike
Yeah, when you start, when you start taking responsibility for yourself, then you can truly laugh at yourself. You know, up until then, it's like you haven't fully owned it yet, so it's not truly funny yet.

01:24:44.84
Bill
Right.

01:24:51.52
Mike
Yeah.

01:24:53.30
Bill
Yeah, and i I'm sure, at least i I'm guessing that the fact that we're still in the, you know, we're we're in the fixing stage and still rebuilding, you know, ourselves and relationships with other people, um I think there's got to be or there had to have been

01:25:02.58
Mike
yes

01:25:06.33
Mike
Right.

01:25:09.82
Bill
you know, least a little bit of doubt on what we either could or should laugh about, you know, because I mean, is if I'm laughing about this, is this still a, you know, kind of an open wound with, you know, with, with Bob or with Kathy or with, you know, my ex or, you know, with, with our kids, whatever the case is, whoever it is.

01:25:13.78
Mike
a

01:25:20.20
Mike
Right.

01:25:26.53
Mike
Right.

01:25:27.04
Bill
um So i mean i'm I'm sure there's got to be a little bit of, you know, that, that self doubt in there about, you know, maybe, maybe I start to think it's funny, but I, I'm not like, you know, walking down the street or at, you know, at Christmas, you know, making jokes.

01:25:38.46
Mike
Yeah.

01:25:39.29
Bill
Hey, remember that time?

01:25:40.66
Mike
At that time, I really fucked you over.

01:25:43.54
Bill
Yeah, that was that was fucking funny. If you only knew the half, you only know the half of it.

01:25:47.70
Mike
right. All right. You don't know how badly i fucked you over.

01:25:50.87
Bill
yeah You don't know about the six other times that you that you're not going to hear about. ah But, yeah, that that was just, ah and I think that was just a thought that that crossed my mind, and i don't I don't know why.

01:26:04.28
Bill
But every once in a while I have a, i don't even know if that's a good thought.

01:26:07.08
Mike
Yeah. Right.

01:26:07.96
Bill
That's just, it was a thought.

01:26:09.75
Mike
It was.

01:26:10.97
Bill
yeah All right. So um yeah heres here's the other thing, too. And speaking of, you know, if we want to do a woe is me. So I log on to here tonight onto the on the Zencaster.

01:26:21.82
Bill
And, you know, you've you've seen it before. i it's just a black background, you know, and the Google's up on whatever.

01:26:25.02
Mike
sure

01:26:26.22
Bill
and But up up on top, there's this red banner that goes across the top. And I'm like, what the fuck is this?

01:26:32.05
Mike
aha

01:26:32.82
Bill
So there's some sort of, and I forget what it is, CloudFair, I think is the name of the server that they use. So this CloudFair thing, it's having issues. And apparently that's what that's the whatever software or server they use to the the end result, the finalization part of the software, which is once this gets done.

01:26:51.84
Bill
So these you know these recordings so again, everyone knows, i mean, we have like Riverside. separate recording so what happens afterwards we just hit a button and say hey do this and it puts it puts the tracks together and like lays everything out and just you know it puts two into one it makes it up a thing that we could actually use so they're like oh you know we're working on it to try to get that fixed this cloud fair is but our people are working on trying to make that process you know quicker so sorry for any inconvenience and i'm like i can't even imagine

01:27:01.87
Mike
Yeah.

01:27:23.99
Mike
he

01:27:24.28
Bill
this This could end up taking four fucking ever to put this... you know in It's not me doing anything. It's just going to be sitting here waiting for this to all you know kind of feed together.

01:27:29.66
Mike
Right. a

01:27:32.56
Bill
but But once again, what the fuck am I going to do? And if it it if it doesn't run together...

01:27:35.48
Mike
Right. What's the alternative?

01:27:37.72
Bill
Yes, thank you, Jeremy Reiter. What's the alternative? And I'm like, you know what we're going to do? Because i I forgot to mention it to begin with. I'm like, I guess we're just going to go on. We're going fucking record the episode. and Whatever happens, happens.

01:27:47.83
Mike
right mm-hmm

01:27:48.68
Bill
You know, the worst case scenario, here's what's going to happen. I won't be able to get it done tonight and I'll have to, you know, do it tomorrow. You know, that's that's the worst thing that could happen. All we got to do is put something up on Instagram and say, oh, well, fucking too bad, so sad.

01:28:01.22
Bill
You know, our software fucked up and not ours.

01:28:03.35
Mike
right boost up front should have told you

01:28:05.51
Bill
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yes.

01:28:09.27
Mike
he

01:28:10.94
Bill
I started watching Plains, Trains, and Automobiles the other day because it just popped it popped up on, I don't know, whatever.

01:28:15.48
Mike
Yeah.

01:28:18.38
Bill
Whatever thing is like that was on, so just watched part of that.

01:28:18.91
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:28:21.02
Bill
But i yeah, fucking Vacation. what ah What a great movie. Christmas Vacation, that that's another one that's coming. Obviously going to be on my watch list pretty quickly. But anyhow, so theres there's nobody else wants to hear about my watch list right now, I don't think.

01:28:29.27
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:28:32.79
Mike
No.

01:28:33.41
Bill
Do you? Do you?

01:28:34.14
Mike
No, I don't.

01:28:34.38
Bill
I mean, I can...

01:28:35.19
Mike
No, I don't give a fuck.

01:28:38.14
Bill
All right. So on on that note, let's ah what what do you say?

01:28:40.31
Mike
Yep.

01:28:41.25
Bill
You're not giving a fuck, which is fine. I can appreciate that.

01:28:43.38
Mike
Yep.

01:28:44.30
Bill
What do you think?

01:28:44.32
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:28:45.53
Bill
Get out of here.

01:28:46.54
Mike
Let's do it, man. All right. Well, thank you, everyone, for listening to yet another episode of Sober Not Mature. always, be kind to each other. Be good to each other. go out and do something nice for somebody else this week, and don't fucking tell anybody you did it.

01:29:01.94
Mike
Now, from the bottom of my heart to the depths of my soul, from the beginning of time until the ends of the earth, always and eternally, which means forever, fuck you.

01:29:16.18
Mike
Now it's that time, kids. Hoo boy is it that time. It's time for you to fuck off. Then keep fucking off. Keep fucking off till you get to a gate with a sign on it saying, you cannot fuck off past here.

01:29:34.33
Mike
Climb over that gate. Dream the impossible dream. and Keep fucking off forever.

01:29:44.66
Bill
Once again, set with fucking feeling. I like that.

01:29:47.93
Mike
Yeah, sure.

01:29:49.41
Bill
I like it a lot. Yeah. I brought more pumping power. You just brought more power. All all right But yeah, i got to I think that's it.

01:29:59.46
Bill
I got nothing else. i don't know. I got to be here be here for another week. And this weekend, I think I'm to go ah kick around some hiking trails. Oh, real quick. It snowed the Monday night, so obviously Tuesday is when I had the the surgery.

01:30:11.04
Bill
And all I said, they're you know they're getting this fucking winter weather advisory.

01:30:11.38
Mike
ah

01:30:14.16
Bill
And i look I'm like, oh, fuck, are we going get nailed? like Because Wisconsin was getting like a foot of snow.

01:30:17.98
Mike
Right.

01:30:18.60
Bill
Indiana was getting fucking hell. I think you guys got snow and all stuff.

01:30:21.14
Mike
Yes, we did. Uh-huh.

01:30:22.36
Bill
and And I'm like, oh, fuck, that's what's what's happening down here. And I look and they're they're like, you know, it's the most one to two, maybe three inches, right?

01:30:30.53
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:30:30.66
Bill
And I'm like, what are weather? Three, three, three. I'm like, okay. So then, you know, it snowed enough to, you know, to cover up the, cover up the roofs and in whatever.

01:30:35.29
Mike
Right.

01:30:38.97
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:30:39.36
Bill
And this was on Monday while I was working. And then, um, in, uh, what was it? Tuesday morning, I get up and I went out there and scraped off my car and everything. I said, just to make sure I get all that's taken care of driving in though, from here to the hospital.

01:30:47.89
Mike
Right.

01:30:52.44
Bill
And I swear to God, there could have been more than two inches of snow from what I could tell completely, you know, maybe three.

01:30:55.99
Mike
Uh huh.

01:30:58.12
Bill
Okay.

01:30:58.49
Mike
Yeah.

01:30:59.35
Bill
I get on the highway and i'm ah um'm looking I'm like, it looks like it snowed like i don't know really bad and they didn't have time to clear off the highway.

01:31:06.74
Mike
see

01:31:07.45
Bill
and And I'm like, the dry the the highways in Cleveland or Wisconsin or in Indiana, they would have been completely fucking dry at that point.

01:31:11.32
Mike
Yeah. Right. Yeah.

01:31:15.72
Bill
And I'm driving along.

01:31:15.96
Mike
Right.

01:31:16.76
Bill
I'm like, I don't even know this road could be completely fucking icy because there's, you know, like you see in the middle of lanes and stuff like that, still slushy and shit. Yeah.

01:31:23.59
Mike
Yeah.

01:31:24.06
Bill
In this off ramp that I go, I'm like, Jesus Christ. I'm like, they got like two inches of snow. It is fucking terrible.

01:31:30.31
Mike
huh.

01:31:31.26
Bill
they They didn't fucking do anything with it. Or if they did, then I see someone's social media like, thank you for Lake of the Ozarks, County of, and this and that out here doing good work.

01:31:33.27
Mike
Right.

01:31:40.70
Bill
I'm like, you didn't do fucking shit.

01:31:41.93
Mike
Right.

01:31:43.64
Bill
You guys, you know, quit congratulating yourselves and pat yourselves on a fucking back. Learn how to take care of almost no snow.

01:31:47.32
Mike
right

01:31:49.56
Bill
It's called salt and a little bit of scraping. You're done with it, you have fucking idiots.

01:31:52.15
Mike
Yep. Mm-hmm. Amateurs.

01:31:56.02
Bill
Oh, God, that's what I'm thinking. And I'm like, how can I be scared driving in fucking two inches of snow? It's because it looked like it was fucking ice, you know?

01:32:01.38
Mike
Right. Yeah.

01:32:04.45
Bill
Fuckers. Okay, anyhow.

01:32:04.98
Mike
Nice.

01:32:05.72
Bill
on On that note, I love you, brother.

01:32:05.85
Mike
ah I love you, too.

01:32:09.40
Bill
We will talk soon.

01:32:10.42
Mike
We shall.

01:32:11.77
Bill
Bye.

01:32:12.67
Mike
Bye.