Happy Valentine's Day

0:00 [SPEAKER_00]: We all have that one friend, the one who says exactly what's on their mind, no matter what, and that's Sheedle Mars. [SPEAKER_01]: That's right, every week my friends and I dive into whatever's on my mind, sports, politics, pop culture, even my own struggles, you name it. [SPEAKER_01]: If I'm thinking about it, we're talking about it. [SPEAKER_00]: Unfiltered, unapologetic, and just a little dangerous. [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome welcome welcome to another exciting episode of Sheetle Weapon. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Little Sheetle because the joke doesn't work unless you say my name right?

0:43 [SPEAKER_01]: This is a show about anything, everything, and nothing all at once. [SPEAKER_01]: But truly, this is just my version of Talk Therapy. [SPEAKER_01]: The way this works, you're going to listen for about an hour. [SPEAKER_01]: Congratulations to me that I've made three episodes that are about an hour. [SPEAKER_01]: Instead of the very lengthy Joe Rogan-esque ones that just kind of go on forever. [SPEAKER_01]: And you listen for about that amount of time to see if I ever make a coherent point. [SPEAKER_01]: And if I do, you win. [SPEAKER_01]: You win the benefit of hard-earned wisdom.

1:24 [SPEAKER_01]: And if I don't, you lose. [SPEAKER_01]: And we try our luck next time. [SPEAKER_01]: You might lose, but you know, you did kill an hour and it's not so bad. [SPEAKER_01]: You'll get over. [SPEAKER_01]: Today, I kind of wanted to reflect a little bit on what I said in one of these episodes. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I talked about ice. [SPEAKER_01]: And I wanted to talk about Minneapolis for a quick second, because this is a big digression from the real point of this episode, which if we're playing the game, we're not off to a good start. [SPEAKER_01]: But I wanted to talk about Minneapolis because I thought about this the other day.

2:04 [SPEAKER_01]: And when we think of the movies, and we go, how many places are there in the world, where when evil forces come in the big action sequence, and you think, oh, if the world were to descend into chaos, where are the places that the evil empire would attack first? [SPEAKER_01]: We think of places like, or places of power, where the seats of power are, so we think of the capital building. [SPEAKER_01]: We think of the White House. [SPEAKER_01]: Wall Street we think of New York we think of LA we think if we're dealing with cartels and whatever We're thinking of Miami we're thinking of and this sounds bad, but we're thinking of corruption We're thinking Chicago, but [SPEAKER_01]: we go okay that's where the war is going to take place right it's going to take place in where these big metropolitan cities that everybody in the world knows about it's London it's Paris it's you know Shanghai is Beijing these are the places where Moscow these are the places [SPEAKER_01]: where big things happen, big changes, the big battles are taking place.

3:11 [SPEAKER_01]: And then we kind of come to today, and we go, where is the front line? [SPEAKER_01]: Where is the first place that gets attacked, and you go, Minneapolis? [SPEAKER_01]: In all the world, we go, this is where fascism starts. [SPEAKER_01]: They went to Minneapolis. [SPEAKER_01]: The fact that every city doesn't have a slang slogan is an abomination. [SPEAKER_01]: We all should have one. [SPEAKER_01]: Minneapolis is bringing ass and I think that is just so, so damn good. [SPEAKER_01]: So I would, I was thinking about why Minneapolis and it's, we kind of understand that there's like some politics at play, there's some retaliation at play, but did we, did any of us think of Minneapolis is like, [SPEAKER_01]: the home of the warrior grandma, the home of the warrior liberal, the front lines liberal, like we think of Portland and we think of blue hair and we think of people being timid, especially on the left, we think of them being fragile and timid, nobody likes being bullied.

4:20 [SPEAKER_01]: We think of them as kind of the softer of on the political spectrum, the tree hugger, the vegan, the, you know, someone who's just going to love and never fight, and then we realize, no, no, we have concealed carry permits. [SPEAKER_01]: Like on the left, there are people who are going to [SPEAKER_01]: going, I need a setting for the next big action movie. [SPEAKER_01]: If you're not thinking Minneapolis and what that city means to America right now and what that city means to minisotans, what that city means for the soul of America.

5:10 [SPEAKER_01]: You are missing the boat. [SPEAKER_01]: There is a million stories and the next great action hero. [SPEAKER_01]: The next great Captain America, the next great Marvel superhero should have its origin story in fucking Minneapolis. [SPEAKER_01]: Portland, like we can name a whole bunch of cities that are under attack right now and they're not getting as much publicity. [SPEAKER_01]: But if you're going to make a blockbuster and action movie with this great like American hero, I suggest you set that in Minneapolis. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I would watch that, I think a lot of people would watch that because it'd be very, very interesting. [SPEAKER_01]: But it's not, it's, I found it interesting that it wasn't New York.

5:54 [SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to New York. [SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to Philadelphia. [SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to DC. [SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to some of these big cities. [SPEAKER_01]: At the forefront of democracy, we're going to Minneapolis. [SPEAKER_01]: Minneapolis is holding the line on democracy. [SPEAKER_01]: And that's both fantastic and cool. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know enough about US culture and the Midwest. [SPEAKER_01]: Because obviously I'm surprised by it and I shouldn't be. [SPEAKER_01]: I should actually be more educated. [SPEAKER_01]: on where some of these strong people live and what fuels them and what drives them and what causes them to say, you know what, no more and you're not gonna mess with us here.

6:34 [SPEAKER_01]: So that I wanted to bring that up because I did talk about it in one of these and one of my episodes and I wanted to kind of bring out that we really all should be learning a lot more about the people from these cities that we hear in the news. [SPEAKER_01]: That is not the point of today's episode because I did want to switch to something lighter when listening to the show you have to understand that there's a heavy world in which we live, like I live in a world where I have to memorize what clothes my kid wears to school because that might be the last thing he wears, like that's a sad thought. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I have to think about, is there money for healthcare?

7:18 [SPEAKER_01]: I have to think about if my husband gets sick, will I have to file for bankruptcy? [SPEAKER_01]: Like, this is the world we live in and these are all really heavy thoughts. [SPEAKER_01]: But I feel like even in the heaviest of times, you need some lightness, you need some levity, you need some frivolity. [SPEAKER_01]: And this is my version of being frivolous and very fraught times. [SPEAKER_01]: So I am gonna switch to talking about Valentine's Day. [SPEAKER_01]: in a world with so much cruelty let's talk about love and I wouldn't talk about Valentine's Day just so happens the Valentine's Day is the anniversary of my first date with my husband [SPEAKER_01]: And so I'm going to tell a bunch of stories today and I want to talk about gifting and give you guys some pointers.

8:10 [SPEAKER_01]: I would love for the men in my life who care about the women in their lives to listen to this episode. [SPEAKER_01]: You still have time to not ruin the moment and know it's not about the day of Valentine's day. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. [SPEAKER_01]: You can celebrate it on a different day, but it is about the season. [SPEAKER_01]: and doing something within proximity of Valentine's Day because your treatment of her is as much about how she feels about you and how she thinks you feel about her as it is about showing her friends and other people in your circle about how all of that plays out.

8:55 [SPEAKER_01]: No, do you need to take her out for dinner on Valentine's Day? [SPEAKER_01]: And Valentine's Night may be not. [SPEAKER_01]: But you do need to make a show of romance within this period of time with her consent, so that she can go to our girlfriends and go, oh my god, look at what my boyfriend gave me. [SPEAKER_01]: Look at what my husband gave me. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, let's do that. [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to help you guys out because I do have some experience in the matter given that my first date with my husband was on Valentine's Day and I did end up marrying him. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not saying that's why I married him. [SPEAKER_01]: But it, you know, it does give me some level of credibility on the subject.

9:42 [SPEAKER_01]: Our first date, we went to a Mexican restaurant. [SPEAKER_01]: He took me, it wasn't even a fancy place. [SPEAKER_01]: I think it was a chain. [SPEAKER_01]: And he happened to know the owner. [SPEAKER_01]: And at the end of the dinner, he had them bring out a plate. [SPEAKER_01]: And in chocolate ganache, I think. [SPEAKER_01]: They piped on the plate, happy Valentine's Day, and this chocolate. [SPEAKER_01]: And I thought that was a very, very sweet, unique gesture. [SPEAKER_01]: And I was here for it. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, oh, that's new. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's what we're looking for on a Valentine's Day. [SPEAKER_01]: So to give you an idea, like, what is Valentine's Day about? [SPEAKER_01]: And we think about it, it's about love.

10:22 [SPEAKER_01]: It's about commerce, it's about buying shit. [SPEAKER_01]: We know that it was invented by salespeople. [SPEAKER_01]: It was invented by commercial interests, so that you buy things. [SPEAKER_01]: But if we were to think about Valentine's Day in the context of a relationship, [SPEAKER_01]: to a female or to a significant other that prefers to be pursued as opposed to doing the pursuing. [SPEAKER_01]: This is the day or the season in which the pursuer, the person who prefers to pursue. [SPEAKER_01]: This would be the person that would take control in the date and order the wine or [SPEAKER_01]: make the plans and do the surprising this likely is the person that proposed like if you're married that's the person who needs to put in the effort the pressure sewer is going to do some work and some reconnaissance and some planning to show their significant other how much they desire them and appreciate them and want them romantically.

11:32 [SPEAKER_01]: Now [SPEAKER_01]: I think for some guys, this gets misunderstood. [SPEAKER_01]: So let me be clear, this is not the kind of desire that triggers you to going and following a lady home. [SPEAKER_01]: So you can sneak into her house and smell her panties. [SPEAKER_01]: Wrong desire, wrong, we're gonna dial it back. [SPEAKER_01]: We're gonna sit back down, we're gonna listen and pay attention. [SPEAKER_01]: Because it's not about that. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not about sex. [SPEAKER_01]: I know what we think it's about sex. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, let me buy her tacos and her favorite wine and the best chocolate I can find. [SPEAKER_01]: So that she will be naked.

12:12 [SPEAKER_01]: No, that's not the point. [SPEAKER_01]: This is like Mother's Day, this is like Father's Day, this is about an expression of romantic appreciation, looking at the person that you're investing your time into because you enjoy their company and you enjoy how you feel when you're with them. [SPEAKER_01]: doing that gesture, doing that grand moment. [SPEAKER_01]: This is why we do flowers in chocolate, and it's like saying to your person, hey, thank you for loving me. [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for being there for me. [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for being my person or the at least being my person right now if you're dating not married whatever and you're with somebody This is like thank you for being my person.

13:02 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for choosing to spend time with me and invest in this romantic relationship [SPEAKER_01]: So, that's what Valentine's Day is about. [SPEAKER_01]: I think for a lot of guys we kind of go on autopilot and for a lot of girls we're going on autopilot too, get it. [SPEAKER_01]: It's hard to kind of work up the muster to appreciate each other and get all in this flowery, let me put hearts and red and pink on and let me bat my eyelashes at my guy or my girl or whoever you want to bat your eyelashes at. [SPEAKER_01]: and go through the motions of this romantic thing, but I'm telling you, it's worth it.

13:43 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you're thinking about gift ideas, I'm going to tell you some stories about some gifts that I've received recently. [SPEAKER_01]: Some from my husband, some from friends, and try to get to a place where you guys feel really equipped to just rock out on Valentine's Day and show that special someone [SPEAKER_01]: like just put in a modicum of effort. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not that hard. [SPEAKER_01]: You really can do this. [SPEAKER_01]: And it doesn't have to be expensive. [SPEAKER_01]: It just has to be personal. [SPEAKER_01]: And [SPEAKER_01]: You'll understand what I mean when I get there. [SPEAKER_01]: So I want you to think about, I must set the steam.

14:24 [SPEAKER_01]: When I decided I wanted to do Valentine's Day episode. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm wearing my bare suit. [SPEAKER_01]: It was chili con carne over the weekend. [SPEAKER_01]: It was very cold. [SPEAKER_01]: It was full. [SPEAKER_01]: falling a guano warning here in Florida. [SPEAKER_01]: We don't handle the cold very well. [SPEAKER_01]: So I have this very fluffy bear onesie that I love and I live in this thing because I get chilly and I wanna be toasty warm in my house and blankets I have to take on and off to go pee. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, a common joke that I make in my house is that I hate having to pee. [SPEAKER_01]: It is the number one thing I hate.

15:05 [SPEAKER_01]: it always interrupts what I'm doing. [SPEAKER_01]: Every time I want to get deep into thought, bam, that's when I have to pee. [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't want to do that. [SPEAKER_01]: So I got frustrated and like, I have to pee. [SPEAKER_01]: Over Christmas. [SPEAKER_01]: Over Christmas. [SPEAKER_01]: My son and my husband bought me a gift. [SPEAKER_01]: And the gift was [SPEAKER_01]: And I cherish this product is not what I asked for. [SPEAKER_01]: I asked for a stadium buddy. [SPEAKER_01]: What's a stadium buddy? [SPEAKER_01]: A stadium buddy is essentially this funnel tube like system that drains into a bag that has wrapped around your ankle.

15:48 [SPEAKER_01]: So you could just pee without having to go to the toilet. [SPEAKER_01]: And then you'll have to miss anything. [SPEAKER_01]: There you are just sitting and enjoying your game. [SPEAKER_01]: And you're just peeing at will. [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone should have a stadium buddy, especially if you're going to outdoor sports games. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I think it should be, [SPEAKER_01]: standard issue equipment like you should be able to buy it at commissary in the stadium. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why their marketing people have not worked this out because this should be in every vending machine in America. [SPEAKER_01]: But I want it back. [SPEAKER_01]: They don't make a stadium buddy for girls because I lack the correct equipment for such a device. [SPEAKER_01]: It would essentially be a catheter and nobody wants that, though.

16:30 [SPEAKER_01]: I believe I could 3D print in a device that would work perfectly. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not gonna get graphically into it now. [SPEAKER_01]: But the funnel system still works. [SPEAKER_01]: It just needs to be able to attach to a panty of some sort. [SPEAKER_01]: I will work on it. [SPEAKER_01]: I will grace the world with my innovative genius. [SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, they bought me this the next best thing which is called a tingle bone. [SPEAKER_01]: What is it for? [SPEAKER_01]: It's a funnel-like thing with like this protruding slide tube. [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't go all the way around. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not a full tube. [SPEAKER_01]: So it could slosh over the peak.

17:10 [SPEAKER_01]: It could slosh over the side. [SPEAKER_01]: So you really have to be careful about flow. [SPEAKER_01]: You got to be able to control the flow. [SPEAKER_01]: So they bought me this. [SPEAKER_01]: in the back part, and then this kind of protruding, like, foulless, open foulless, I don't know, that looks like a slide. [SPEAKER_01]: So you can kind of tuck this in your underwear or whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: So you can pee, pee standing up. [SPEAKER_01]: This is, that's the headline. [SPEAKER_01]: Peas standing up. [SPEAKER_01]: What a revelation. [SPEAKER_01]: And so I didn't use it. [SPEAKER_01]: I laughed. [SPEAKER_01]: I thought this was the funniest thing ever. [SPEAKER_01]: I loved, I keep in mind and loved this gift. [SPEAKER_01]: This was not disappointing to me in the least.

17:53 [SPEAKER_01]: The fact that my son and my husband [SPEAKER_01]: found this thing and bought it and wrapped it was just pure genius. [SPEAKER_01]: So I didn't use it because I'm like, I don't have an opportunity to use it. [SPEAKER_01]: Well now I'm in my bare suit. [SPEAKER_01]: I have to pee. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to deal with this. [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm unzipping it. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I'm going to use the tinkle, but I think this is the perfect opportunity. [SPEAKER_01]: Then I don't have to get out of the bare suit to go about them. [SPEAKER_01]: It was mind blowing. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I the surge of power I had in my whole [SPEAKER_01]: by being able to peace standing up, like I understand why people become transgender meals. [SPEAKER_01]: Just that alone, like I love seven out of 10, would highly recommend the experience.

18:40 [SPEAKER_01]: Why seven out of 10? [SPEAKER_01]: It is an open funnel. [SPEAKER_01]: I have to control the flow. [SPEAKER_01]: And there were some logistical challenges because a fly doesn't work the same for girl as it does for a guy like I don't have something to whip out I'm actually putting something in and then there's like a stance issue like I don't have I don't man spread the first experience was a little off [SPEAKER_01]: But holding that little funnel slide and getting the peace standing up, like, I felt powerful. [SPEAKER_01]: I felt amazing. [SPEAKER_01]: I really want to do that again. [SPEAKER_01]: I now get men. [SPEAKER_01]: I fully understand. [SPEAKER_01]: There's a psychology that comes with being able to peace standing up.

19:22 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you've never done it, you just can't get it. [SPEAKER_01]: You have to do it for yourself to feel like this is the way life should be. [SPEAKER_01]: This is all that you need to exist and that, and you go, yes, I am the more powerful sex. [SPEAKER_01]: Look at what I have achieved. [SPEAKER_01]: You feel invincible. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm really hyping this up. [SPEAKER_01]: I think I felt all of those things. [SPEAKER_01]: This is true to my experience. [SPEAKER_01]: Why do I tell the story of the [SPEAKER_01]: it would be the fact that my husband thought about me, it is a reference to comments that I consistently make, it is personal, it is effort because that shit doesn't just show up in an algorithm.

20:14 [SPEAKER_01]: This is not like, oh, your friend I've never heard of this product before. [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't ask for it. [SPEAKER_01]: This was researched. [SPEAKER_01]: This was found. [SPEAKER_01]: And by the way, the way the marketing works for this product, it is designed to go on hikes or camping so that way a lady doesn't have to expose her butchiques and vagina to the frigid air of the woods. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, like, this is amazing. [SPEAKER_01]: So I appreciate my husband putting in the extra effort. [SPEAKER_01]: It was symbolic of how much he heard me and understood me and understand that I'm a weird freaking lady.

21:01 [SPEAKER_01]: And this is what I like, I like weird shit. [SPEAKER_01]: By me, weird dumb shit that makes me giggle and that's it, that's all I want. [SPEAKER_01]: And so I'm thinking, [SPEAKER_01]: that in and of itself is embodiment, and I'm not saying go buy your wife's single bells. [SPEAKER_01]: If you're dating a guy, they don't need this. [SPEAKER_01]: So immediately, if you're gay, this is out. [SPEAKER_01]: This is not helpful to you. [SPEAKER_01]: But the lesson is, which is thoughtful, pays attention, inexpensive, personal, effort, all of those things. [SPEAKER_01]: I felt the love, [SPEAKER_01]: from this gift.

21:44 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the point. [SPEAKER_01]: On the opposite spectrum, there is another gift I got on Christmas Day. [SPEAKER_01]: And it was a gift for me, but also a gift for my husband. [SPEAKER_01]: He bought it for us before himself. [SPEAKER_01]: And it was, I'm laughing just thinking about it because he did not mean it as a gag gift. [SPEAKER_01]: The tingle bell was a gag gift. [SPEAKER_01]: This was sincere. [SPEAKER_01]: And he meant it. [SPEAKER_01]: And I felt the love, I felt the sincerity, I felt the desire, I appreciate it on all of those holes.

22:27 [SPEAKER_01]: But he bought me a lingerie set. [SPEAKER_01]: Which is, ooh, lala, it was read if you're buying lingerie for your significant other, or something that is in the sexy realm. [SPEAKER_01]: That cannot be the only gift because that is a gift for the two of you. [SPEAKER_01]: Not just a gift for them, so yes that and other things. [SPEAKER_01]: That's just for her, or for him, or for them, or whoever you wish it to be for. [SPEAKER_01]: So the reason why this is the opposite of the other one.

23:07 [SPEAKER_01]: One beautiful, it was read, it was lazy, it was like this baby doll thing. [SPEAKER_01]: But I am 40 years old. [SPEAKER_01]: And I have birthed a child. [SPEAKER_01]: So the body has changed, specifically, [SPEAKER_01]: the general torso chest area. [SPEAKER_01]: The body has changed and he bought it for me in a size small and if you've ever been to Victoria's Secret and you've seen what a bra looks like there [SPEAKER_01]: you would understand why I immediately laughed.

23:56 [SPEAKER_01]: I am a busty woman. [SPEAKER_01]: This is not a sexy way. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I'm not busty and like, oh, that's attractive. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm busty in the way that I need industrial grade steel to hold them up. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, they are not their memories. [SPEAKER_01]: They are an appendage. [SPEAKER_01]: And there's a lot of it, like I get back pain. [SPEAKER_01]: I have to carry a lot. [SPEAKER_01]: And so I have to special order my bras to accommodate this an ample bosom. [SPEAKER_01]: And I call it a brosier. [SPEAKER_01]: What's funny is I call it a brosier when I go, I'm like, oh, I need to find a brosier in my son.

24:39 [SPEAKER_01]: That's a bra. [SPEAKER_01]: Why do you call it a brosier? [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, a bra is cute. [SPEAKER_01]: bra's delightful, a bra is for youthful vigor. [SPEAKER_01]: A brosier is for brestacles. [SPEAKER_01]: A brosier is for a pair of breasts that dangled like testicles. [SPEAKER_01]: That's what a brosier is for. [SPEAKER_01]: And so what I buy are brosiers. [SPEAKER_01]: It's tactical equipment. [SPEAKER_01]: It is gear. [SPEAKER_01]: Now I'm holding this very delicate piece of [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm holding this tiny little thing up to my chest. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm wearing my clothes.

25:19 [SPEAKER_01]: My son has watched me open this, and he's laughing too. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm laughing. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm doubled over laughing. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm holding this red, delicate, lacy thing up to my chest and going where are these going to go. [SPEAKER_01]: Now, in his defense, it did clip in the back, like I am a very petite woman, so a small is kind of right in that I may very small lady. [SPEAKER_01]: but small also translates to cup size and so when I held like if I use the measurement of my hand, my hand is like a standard size small cup size, but there's they don't even get to cover what they're designed to cover.

26:11 [SPEAKER_01]: I would still have to be censored if you catch my drift. [SPEAKER_01]: There would be a lot of blurring when I put this on. [SPEAKER_01]: So there's nothing. [SPEAKER_01]: It might as well not have been there. [SPEAKER_01]: Like that fabric was, it's superfluous. [SPEAKER_01]: It serves no purpose. [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know that it's sexy. [SPEAKER_01]: And I was thinking about like, oh God, I'm gonna put this on. [SPEAKER_01]: And I got a feel sexy and be sexy for my husband in this while feeling like I look absolutely ridiculous. [SPEAKER_01]: And it did come with a matching thong. [SPEAKER_01]: It was this tiny piece of string. [SPEAKER_01]: And I laughed at that too.

26:52 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: where I don't know where any part of my body gets contained by any of this. [SPEAKER_01]: And... [SPEAKER_01]: I thought it was fun. [SPEAKER_01]: I actually thought it was like, I started laughing. [SPEAKER_01]: He was like, oh, he was like upset because he's like, thank you for turning something that was special to me that I actually looked at and like thought of you and made me gave me romantic feelings for you and I thought you'd be attractive in it and turning it into a gag gift. [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's not funny. [SPEAKER_01]: I think you're special and I think you would look great in this and I'm like, I get you. [SPEAKER_01]: I get you. [SPEAKER_01]: I understand it.

27:32 [SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate it. [SPEAKER_01]: Love you. [SPEAKER_01]: Love this. [SPEAKER_01]: This is yes. [SPEAKER_01]: 100% I will put this on. [SPEAKER_01]: And so what's funny is my I did put it on I did try it because I thought it was hilarious and I am laughing and no it didn't cover no it didn't it didn't none of it fit in there none of it it was all out like it was there [SPEAKER_01]: And I thought it was so funny, but he thought it was a track, and my son's laughing, and he like, he doesn't understand sex at this point, and he shouldn't.

28:16 [SPEAKER_01]: And so for him, I'm just wearing underwear that does not fit. [SPEAKER_01]: In his mind, that's what he's seeing, like this is underwear that does not fit, and he looked at my husband and he goes, Dad, how do you not know what mom's size is? [SPEAKER_01]: And I could not help but laugh at this idea of we need to take the motivation and take it one step further to fuel the execution. [SPEAKER_01]: Like the motivation was there. [SPEAKER_01]: The right inspiration was there. [SPEAKER_01]: The right intent was there. [SPEAKER_01]: the execution stumbled a bit. [SPEAKER_01]: And that's because it was like, ooh, and this is kind of good enough.

28:56 [SPEAKER_01]: Let me just do this. [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't need to try any harder when he really could have. [SPEAKER_01]: Actually looked at the product. [SPEAKER_01]: He could have gone into my underwear drawer and been like, oh, [SPEAKER_01]: My wife has a booty and a chest and maybe I need to find something lingerie that accommodates those things instead of me feeling like I'm being dressed up in a piece of twine, which that Is great for some people some people like that look good on you, but [SPEAKER_01]: And we've never done that.

29:40 [SPEAKER_01]: I've never talked about that. [SPEAKER_01]: So maybe that wasn't, and I don't think that was a little key was going for because I was just like, I'm sure he saw a very beautiful little model on the website in her six-foot tall body. [SPEAKER_01]: And teeny, teeny, tiny, perky little boobies and went, yes, adorable, perfect for my wife. [SPEAKER_01]: But you could have taken it one step further and realized, hey, maybe in Google, if I type lingerie for this size bust, or the big, if I looked at the sizing on anything my wife owns, you could have had a better result.

30:22 [SPEAKER_01]: It wasn't quite the result I would have wanted because I didn't feel like some sexy-awjunu [SPEAKER_01]: And I still own it. [SPEAKER_01]: I not getting rid of it. [SPEAKER_01]: I am appreciative of it. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not being ungrateful. [SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate the effort. [SPEAKER_01]: And I told him so. [SPEAKER_01]: And he's good. [SPEAKER_01]: But I did tell him afterwards. [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, glad you're thinking about this. [SPEAKER_01]: We're on the same page. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to. [SPEAKER_01]: intimacy with YouTube, how about I send you some websites where there might, there is the potential for something in there that might fit.

31:12 [SPEAKER_01]: And then I, we both get to be happy about this situation. [SPEAKER_01]: So he was like, okay fine, but here's the reason why that's the opposite of the [SPEAKER_01]: the fact that I'm having this conversation is ridiculous. [SPEAKER_01]: But the reason is, it's not totally opposite because the intent was there. [SPEAKER_01]: But it was the lack of thoughtfulness. [SPEAKER_01]: It was the lack of effort. [SPEAKER_01]: You're supposed to know your spouse. [SPEAKER_01]: We've been together 16 years on Friday, February's the anniversary of the day we met.

31:54 [SPEAKER_01]: I celebrate the day we met, not always our wedding day, because we were together for three years before our wedding. [SPEAKER_01]: We moved in together. [SPEAKER_01]: We bought a house together. [SPEAKER_01]: Like the fact that we had a party and spent a crazy amount of money, [SPEAKER_01]: doesn't negate all the relationship building that happened before that day. [SPEAKER_01]: So I celebrate the day we met and so that's coming up. [SPEAKER_01]: But if you've been with somebody this long and you say you know them and you've been present with them, you've spent a significant amount of time with them. [SPEAKER_01]: you should know better. [SPEAKER_01]: You say you know better. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm at picture this.

32:34 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm getting my nails done. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm talking to the nail technician who is a man he's married and he goes yeah my wife's birthday is coming up soon. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like okay what are you going to get her? [SPEAKER_01]: By the way this is not a unique story. [SPEAKER_01]: This is a story that happens. [SPEAKER_01]: I've had this conversation with nearly every guy I've ever known who has been married any significant amount of time more than a year. [SPEAKER_01]: And he, I go, okay, what are you guys going to do? [SPEAKER_01]: What are you going to get her? [SPEAKER_01]: And his answer was, I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't want anything. [SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to celebrate. [SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to do anything important. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, well, you could get her a gift. [SPEAKER_01]: You could show some thoughtfulness and he goes, no, she doesn't want anything. [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't really matter.

33:14 [SPEAKER_01]: It's whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: We'll maybe go out to dinner or maybe we'll. [SPEAKER_01]: Do nothing and stay home and order in or whatever that is. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay Do you he's like, I don't know what to get. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like think about it. [SPEAKER_01]: You've been how long have you been together? [SPEAKER_01]: And he's like 20 years. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, so do you you know your wife? [SPEAKER_01]: He and they're adamant. [SPEAKER_01]: I know my wife. [SPEAKER_01]: I've been with her for 20 years. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, if you've been with some like 20 years You don't know what to get them for their birthday You don't know what to get them for Valentine's Day. [SPEAKER_01]: You don't know how to get them for Christmas look around [SPEAKER_01]: Like literally look around, you can go into her closet, see what size she is, see what brands of clothes she buys, look at her shoes, see what size she is, see what brands of shoes she buys, look at your pantry, see what snacks she buys, that are not for you, that are for herself, what is she like to order in a restaurant, what types of like devices does she use, [SPEAKER_01]: Is she a professional?

34:14 [SPEAKER_01]: Is she a cook? [SPEAKER_01]: Is she any of those things? [SPEAKER_01]: If you're observant, you can go look around and see what makeup, what perfume, whatever, what does she like? [SPEAKER_01]: And you can get her something in that vein. [SPEAKER_01]: For her to realize, oh, you do understand me. [SPEAKER_01]: You do see what I like. [SPEAKER_01]: And that's what always kind of gets me is like there's so many guys that just like oh yeah I've been together with my wife I know my wife like the back of my hand like okay, that's awesome now you know your wife like the back of the hand What is the thing that makes her feel loved? [SPEAKER_01]: Don't know crickets can't imagine what makes her feel loved [SPEAKER_01]: The reason they're like, well, women are hard.

34:56 [SPEAKER_01]: They don't say what they mean. [SPEAKER_01]: They're enigma. [SPEAKER_01]: They, it's hard to discern what they like. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I buy gifts and they're always bad. [SPEAKER_01]: They're always bad because they're not thinking of her. [SPEAKER_01]: You're just trying to buy something. [SPEAKER_01]: Not trying to buy her something. [SPEAKER_01]: And that requires brain power and that requires effort. [SPEAKER_01]: And that requires forethought. [SPEAKER_01]: Like Valentine's Day happens at the same time every year, set a fucking calendar reminder. [SPEAKER_01]: By the way, there are people you can get to buy you something. [SPEAKER_01]: Buy her something that you can tell about your wife and what is she like they're going to say do the homework show us what brand she likes Sure, did you ever buy her flowers if she does says she doesn't like flowers do you remember the reason why because a lot of times people will say they don't like flowers because they don't want to sound needy But they really do like flowers and jewelry [SPEAKER_01]: and thoughtful gifts of various price ranges.

35:58 [SPEAKER_01]: They do like those things, but they don't want to ask for those things because they don't want to hear, like it's effort. [SPEAKER_01]: That's ridiculous. [SPEAKER_01]: And the other thing I would say, and I would call bullshit a lot, especially on guys who say, I don't know, this is too much. [SPEAKER_01]: I've never had to do this. [SPEAKER_01]: This isn't the standard I should be held to. [SPEAKER_01]: And you should understand, especially for [SPEAKER_01]: It is you. [SPEAKER_01]: that set the standard. [SPEAKER_01]: It is not her that set the standard. [SPEAKER_01]: When you were dating her or him or whatever, whoever the pursuer is, the one who's more likely to give gifts and do grand gestures.

36:41 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's different in every relationship. [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes it's girls with men. [SPEAKER_01]: There's more about the pursuer and the pursuée. [SPEAKER_01]: But if you were in the stereotypical male role or the pursuer role, and you're the one buying gifts, [SPEAKER_01]: You set that standard when you were dating. [SPEAKER_01]: She fell in love with that person. [SPEAKER_01]: The one that bought flowers, the one that spent three months sourcing a birthday present, the one that canceled everything to do whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: Like the one that inconvenienced himself or herself to make sure they're loved one felt special. [SPEAKER_01]: that's the standard.

37:22 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the person we were saying yes to when we agreed to get married. [SPEAKER_01]: That's who we said, yes, too. [SPEAKER_01]: You did all those things. [SPEAKER_01]: When you were dating, you remembered birthdays. [SPEAKER_01]: You remembered Valentine's Day. [SPEAKER_01]: You remembered Christmas. [SPEAKER_01]: You remembered little things about her and you used to bring home little tokens of affection. [SPEAKER_01]: Little, you used to be cute. [SPEAKER_01]: You used to send little cute messages of, oh, I love you. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you had a great day. [SPEAKER_01]: Little memes, all those things happened when you were dating. [SPEAKER_01]: And she went, when you proposed, said, or she, he, whatever, whomever. [SPEAKER_01]: The person that said, yes, went, yes, if this is what life with you is like, this generous, kind, supportive, loving, giving person, this person that just brings me flowers, sends flowers to my workplace on a random thing.

38:18 [SPEAKER_01]: You're like, oh, who does that? [SPEAKER_01]: If you, you like, do you want love? [SPEAKER_01]: Like, you guys, though, if that's the thought that comes into your head right now, you need professional, [SPEAKER_01]: Help more than a podcast. [SPEAKER_01]: I know that I'm doing podcasting is talk therapy, but you guys need [SPEAKER_01]: help. [SPEAKER_01]: But if that's not what you're thinking of, you go, oh, shit. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I did do all those things. [SPEAKER_01]: And you're thinking about right now. [SPEAKER_01]: You have 10 days. [SPEAKER_01]: There's still a lot of things you can get. [SPEAKER_01]: There's still a dinner you can make. [SPEAKER_01]: If you're thinking about, oh, I don't have money. [SPEAKER_01]: You can make dinner. [SPEAKER_01]: You can clean the house. [SPEAKER_01]: You can get construction paper like a kid and write a note and a letter.

38:58 [SPEAKER_01]: You can get her a Valentine's Day card. [SPEAKER_01]: You can make one. [SPEAKER_01]: You can do lots of things. [SPEAKER_01]: that shows you went out of your way and spent. [SPEAKER_01]: a certain amount of your brain power towards thinking about that person and how to make them feel special. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think a lot of guys go, well, why don't we get anything? [SPEAKER_01]: I would agree with that. [SPEAKER_01]: I think girls and guys, both parties in a relationship should, if this is a day about showing appreciation to one another as romantic partners, it should be mutual, like that's all I want. [SPEAKER_01]: But that's the thing is like, I always say, and I do this from experience, if you do that, I know a lot of girls, oh, I'm going to do that.

39:46 [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to go to the game. [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to do this. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to go to the grand gesture and make him feel great. [SPEAKER_01]: And in return, they get nothing or they get something thoughtless. [SPEAKER_01]: The effort needs to be matched. [SPEAKER_01]: If you want that from her. [SPEAKER_01]: then you need to do the equivalent for her, which is if she's not a sports person, she bought you tickets to some sporting event that she's not particularly interested in, but you love, then you need to do the same thing. [SPEAKER_01]: What is it that she likes? [SPEAKER_01]: What activities is there a concert? [SPEAKER_01]: Is there a different sport?

40:27 [SPEAKER_01]: Is there play an outing? [SPEAKER_01]: If she's that kind of person, or maybe she's not that kind of person. [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe she doesn't like going out. [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe she's an introvert and likes to be home and read books go into her window, go into your Amazon account, see what she's reading, find something. [SPEAKER_01]: along the veins of what she's reading to show the effort, do the equivalent effort. [SPEAKER_01]: If she's an introvert, say, hey, I bought you a couple of books, or I bought you a couple of credits so you can choose your book. [SPEAKER_01]: And here's a whole spot A. [SPEAKER_01]: Here's a day where you can just chill in your pajamas in your house because that's what you want to do.

41:11 [SPEAKER_01]: You want to grab a bottle of wine. [SPEAKER_01]: Here's your favorite bottle of wine. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not going to fucking bother you. [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe I rub your feet and that's all I do for you. [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe I just ensure that you have your favorite meal with you while you're reading your book Like the equivalent effort needs to be put in if we're gonna do this. [SPEAKER_01]: It's a two-way street thing It can't be she needs to show how much she loves me and I'm gonna get her a gift card to target. [SPEAKER_01]: That's not a thing We're not gonna do that [SPEAKER_01]: And that's not how you get what you want from her. [SPEAKER_01]: And you think, oh, this is a manipulation is about getting what you want from her. [SPEAKER_01]: Girls who are poured into when you pour your affection and your effort and your time and your energy into a woman She reciprocates.

41:59 [SPEAKER_01]: That's when men don't get this idea of happy wife happy life. [SPEAKER_01]: You think. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's just happy wife and she's She's all happy. [SPEAKER_01]: Prancing around You know, living her best life and you're just struggling when women are happy They like to show their partners how happy their partner makes them [SPEAKER_01]: They like to do things for their partner. [SPEAKER_01]: They like to talk about how great their partner is. [SPEAKER_01]: They talk about how you're the reason for the printing. [SPEAKER_01]: She pours right back into you. [SPEAKER_01]: It is an investment. [SPEAKER_01]: And so I would take a second and say, how do I nurture my spouse?

42:41 [SPEAKER_01]: How do I nurture my significant other? [SPEAKER_01]: How do I recognize their romantic value? [SPEAKER_01]: To me in my life and how much my life is good with her. [SPEAKER_01]: If you're not thinking about divorce or breaking up, then obviously you're thinking about keeping this person, you should be, [SPEAKER_01]: trying to make that person feel good. [SPEAKER_01]: On any one of these days, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, birthdays, Christmas, whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: All of these special days that are societally important for showing appreciation, you should do that. [SPEAKER_01]: And Father's Day too, I want the men in my life to be happy. [SPEAKER_01]: I want my husband to be happy.

43:21 [SPEAKER_01]: I want to give him the things that make him happy. [SPEAKER_01]: What I don't love, and this is most people's relationships, is the woman gives to the male partner over and over again. [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like nothing and then the only time they get upset is when that nurturing that attitude of giving disappears because Well, the point of giving giving giving if you never get anything or turn and yes, it is a given taking. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, it is a two-way street [SPEAKER_01]: So guys, go out or go look around your house and think of about your woman. [SPEAKER_01]: Think about who she is, what she is, how much you love her, what your favorite memory about her is.

44:06 [SPEAKER_01]: Like what is it, what made you say I wanna propose to her? [SPEAKER_01]: What made you say I wanna ask her out? [SPEAKER_01]: Tell her that story, write that in a letter. [SPEAKER_01]: Free, guess what you didn't spend a fucking dime. [SPEAKER_01]: to do that, when I first saw you. [SPEAKER_01]: What did you feel when we went on our first date? [SPEAKER_01]: What did you feel? [SPEAKER_01]: These are things that matter. [SPEAKER_01]: These are things that whole value. [SPEAKER_01]: And you can do this. [SPEAKER_01]: There is still time and I would start now. [SPEAKER_01]: I really would and ladies, if you're the one that's the pursuer and you're the one that's like, maybe you've been working a lot, maybe you haven't been as present in your relationship, maybe you've just had, [SPEAKER_01]: kids and babies and they're eating up all your time and you know your husband is a great guy and you're not able to be as dedicated to him as you used to be when you were dating.

45:02 [SPEAKER_01]: Now is an opportunity to express your gratitude for his contribution in your life. [SPEAKER_01]: If you feel positive about it, if you feel like it's warranted and same thing for a guy, if you're not thinking about breaking up, if you're not in the middle of divorce or thinking about divorce proceedings and you actually want this relationship to continue, go out and think about how you can show that appreciation and know it's not like sex is a buy product. [SPEAKER_01]: of all of that love. [SPEAKER_01]: When people feel loved, when people feel wanted, when they feel desired, when they feel appreciated. [SPEAKER_01]: They feel less stress, and when they're less stressed, they're more likely to engage in familiar activities.

45:49 [SPEAKER_01]: like it's just the truth. [SPEAKER_01]: When you are in love and you look at your partner who shows you that they love you. [SPEAKER_01]: A responsible. [SPEAKER_01]: This person is attractive to me. [SPEAKER_01]: Then you want to do those things. [SPEAKER_01]: So it's not manipulation. [SPEAKER_01]: It is a result. [SPEAKER_01]: It is a result of sincere appreciation. [SPEAKER_01]: So take that for what it is. [SPEAKER_01]: You can do it. [SPEAKER_01]: Now, here are my guide on giving gifts because there are the traditional [SPEAKER_01]: flowers, chocolate, dinners, balloons, stuffed animals, heart shaped ship. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't personally, I don't want any of that stuff.

46:32 [SPEAKER_01]: Buy me all that stuff the day after. [SPEAKER_01]: Buy me 90% off chocolate. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I taste the same for [SPEAKER_01]: 90% less. [SPEAKER_01]: Love that. [SPEAKER_01]: I love the frugality, but if that's not your person, buy it, retail, you will be happy. [SPEAKER_01]: She will be happy. [SPEAKER_01]: They will be happy. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not that big of a deal. [SPEAKER_01]: But the point of it is, here's my, here's my rules. [SPEAKER_01]: One, a gift should be a reflection of the person. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, it should be a reflection of what they need, what they want.

47:16 [SPEAKER_01]: So, by a gift that they've actually asked for, buying a gift that you know, they will enjoy, buying a, or making a gift, it doesn't always have to be bought, but like presenting someone with a gesture that they've asked for. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I know a lot of people who's like, oh, I know you asked for this, but I don't want a fucking give it to you. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I saw this thing with like, who was it? [SPEAKER_01]: Dale Earnhardt or whatever and she wanted fucking carrot cake and he never buys her carrot cake for her birthday. [SPEAKER_01]: What the fuck is that? [SPEAKER_01]: It's not about you, bro. [SPEAKER_01]: Like I don't understand this logic of, I can't fucking do it. [SPEAKER_01]: I can't buy her something that I myself wouldn't want.

47:59 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not... [SPEAKER_01]: Dude, and same thing for girls, just buy the fucking carrot cake. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not hard, like seriously. [SPEAKER_01]: That if you're not getting laid, it's because of bullshit like that. [SPEAKER_01]: I want you to get laid by the fucking carrot cake if that's what she wants. [SPEAKER_01]: Just buy it, I guess, I'm getting frustrated. [SPEAKER_01]: That's number one, pay attention and buy something you know she wants buy something you know he wants buy something that they have actually asked for or given some indication that they will like or enjoy or need or will fulfill some frustration in their life.

48:44 [SPEAKER_01]: And it should not be practical vacuum cleaners can openers new mobs and shit. [SPEAKER_01]: Those are not things that are for her. [SPEAKER_01]: Those are things for the house. [SPEAKER_01]: This should be useful to her and solve a problem that she alone has in her personal life. [SPEAKER_01]: That has nothing to do with taking care of the household. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, if you need a new vacuum cleaner by a new vacuum cleaner, that is not a gift for her. [SPEAKER_01]: Number two. [SPEAKER_01]: The alternative to a gift that you know they're like is buying something or getting something or making something that makes you feel some type of way about them.

49:27 [SPEAKER_01]: I do this, I like this one, this version of gift giving, because one, I'm selfish, and if I don't know a person very well, I think of the kind of person they are. [SPEAKER_01]: And I go, what makes me think of that person fondly? [SPEAKER_01]: If I see something weird online like something unexpected or something to store a lot of times even when it's not birthdays, even when it's not a particular reason to buy a gift, I will get something because it made me think of someone special. [SPEAKER_01]: And this could be my friends and this could be my spouse.

50:07 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, oh, I thought you'd like this. [SPEAKER_01]: Christmas is a perfect example of this. [SPEAKER_01]: I saw a DIY printing press kit where it's like wood and you put it together and my husband's very tinkery handy and I bought this for him. [SPEAKER_01]: In like at Thanksgiving and it just came to the house and I gave it to him like right away And I said you like to tinker. [SPEAKER_01]: You like printing is your profession You like these things I want you to have this because I think this activity will bring you joy It's not your Christmas present. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not any kind of present But it is something that made me think of you in a fond way But in that moment he understood I knew something about him and I wanted him to feel [SPEAKER_01]: some joy.

50:57 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's another way to give gifts is if you don't know what walk around and say what made me think of my spouse in a fond way. [SPEAKER_01]: Is it flowers? [SPEAKER_01]: Is it something? [SPEAKER_01]: Is it a particular flower? [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's not roses. [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it's sunflowers. [SPEAKER_01]: And you go, I bought you some flowers because it made me feel warm and affectionate towards you. [SPEAKER_01]: I saw these and felt love for you. [SPEAKER_01]: And that can induce a feeling in the other person. [SPEAKER_01]: Like this person is thinking of me.

51:39 [SPEAKER_01]: This person looks out in the world and sees me in it. [SPEAKER_01]: And when he sees me in it, or she, and I keep going back forth, he, she, and they and them, and whatever, but whoever this is, that you're buying for, knowing that is a really lovely feeling, hey, they were searching online, hey, they were on Amazon, hey, they were in Target, and something just popped out, and they go, is this necessary, is this important, does this solve a problem? [SPEAKER_01]: But maybe you looked at it and you go, you know what? [SPEAKER_01]: For no reason, this made me think of you. [SPEAKER_01]: And I think there's a danger in that for some people where they go, oh, my person has a bunch of Stan Lee.

52:23 [SPEAKER_01]: So I just bought the Mastand Lee because that's what I see around the house. [SPEAKER_01]: And they might have a hundred of them and they don't really need another one. [SPEAKER_01]: the more unique the gift is in that regard, the better. [SPEAKER_01]: For example, I know a person who is a photographer and I don't know her work and I don't know that much about her passion for photography, but I saw this little lamp that it looks like kind of the steam punky like robot thing taking photos and it had it was holding a camera as possible and it the light this light turns on and it looks [SPEAKER_01]: And I saw it on Etsy and I was like [SPEAKER_01]: this makes me like, I just see this person in this gift.

53:09 [SPEAKER_01]: I just, I'm buying this for them. [SPEAKER_01]: And not for me for them, just because it made me think a very kind thought about them. [SPEAKER_01]: I thought it would bring them joy. [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes that's where it goes where it's the thought that matters. [SPEAKER_01]: If you think something's going to bring that person joy, not fulfill an obligation, not just check [SPEAKER_01]: That's worth the risk. [SPEAKER_01]: And even with that lingerie, I think he bought that thinking it would bring me joy. [SPEAKER_01]: And it did. [SPEAKER_01]: I laughed really hard. [SPEAKER_01]: It was so funny to me. [SPEAKER_01]: It's funny now, even thinking about it. [SPEAKER_01]: Like... [SPEAKER_01]: There was so much volume.

53:50 [SPEAKER_01]: Anyway. [SPEAKER_01]: I think you're getting my point. [SPEAKER_01]: These are the ways to show people that you appreciate. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna finish with one last story. [SPEAKER_01]: And this is along the lines of this made me think of you and this is from a platonic friend. [SPEAKER_01]: So we as girls got together and we gave each other gifts. [SPEAKER_01]: First of all, I'm... [SPEAKER_01]: Shit, I've misread the situation. [SPEAKER_01]: I bought one. [SPEAKER_01]: I got a they sent a video saying hey, let's do this in every person bought one thing So it's like Everybody one person brought the face masks and the next person bought the foot massage or and whatever So I only bought one thing and they didn't all come in time And I get to the dinner where we're extreme gifts and I get bags of plural with multiple items in it and I'm like that's it gauntlet throne [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to rethink these, and I did.

54:45 [SPEAKER_01]: I really rocked out the gifts. [SPEAKER_01]: I also, from that dinner, got very tipsy. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm a fantastic shopper when I'm tipsy, fan-fucking-tastic. [SPEAKER_01]: I knocked it out of the park. [SPEAKER_01]: But, point is, one of those gifts, in it was a special gift for me. [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't think I told the other girls about this, but there was a special gift for me. [SPEAKER_01]: And it was a ball gag. [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know what about me, red, this person would love a ball gag. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think I give off ball gag vibes. [SPEAKER_01]: I have to now consider my behaviors and actions out in the world, going, is this giving ball gag?

55:29 [SPEAKER_01]: But is this giving ball gag? [SPEAKER_01]: That's not, I will never know, what is giving ball gag about me? [SPEAKER_01]: But she bought, so I pull this out. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, this is ridiculous. [SPEAKER_01]: One, I'm never going to use this. [SPEAKER_01]: Let me be very clear. [SPEAKER_01]: I am never going to use this. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to. [SPEAKER_01]: This is not one of my things. [SPEAKER_01]: This is on the no list. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not excited about it. [SPEAKER_01]: And my husband's not very excited about it either. [SPEAKER_01]: He wasn't like, oh, babe, you need to do this. [SPEAKER_01]: Great. [SPEAKER_01]: And so I left it in the bag. [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't really think about it. [SPEAKER_01]: The next day, because I was like very in my head about the fact that I've now, I'm now the proud owner of a ball gag.

56:14 [SPEAKER_01]: It's in my house. [SPEAKER_01]: I tried to re-gift it, but I couldn't mind a person in my life. [SPEAKER_01]: who was bald gagged, appropriate. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know enough about my platonic friend's sense of humor, so it's still in my house. [SPEAKER_01]: And it will forever be in my house. [SPEAKER_01]: Now that I've had time to process it, it brings me immense joy. [SPEAKER_01]: She knew I would laugh about it. [SPEAKER_01]: She knew I have that kind of sense of humor, and she knew that I would get a kick, and she was right, because I do have that sense of humor. [SPEAKER_01]: And here's the best things about this. [SPEAKER_01]: Here, when you're thinking bald gag, you're thinking like red with the black.

56:55 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, maybe you're not thinking that because you don't go to the same website's I go to. [SPEAKER_01]: A bald gag is typically a bald with some kind of strap that you put in your mouth and you wear during intimate times. [SPEAKER_01]: It's sexy for some people. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why because it takes an activity off the table. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not my favorite idea. [SPEAKER_01]: But some people really love this. [SPEAKER_01]: But typically, it's a red plastic, is it plastic? [SPEAKER_01]: I've never actually seen one in real life. [SPEAKER_01]: Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know what the material is. [SPEAKER_01]: But I imagine it to be like a red wiffle ball, like typically a female wears it, but really someone in a submissive position, well, wear it, and then the festivities begin.

57:48 [SPEAKER_01]: This was different, and I will tell you how. [SPEAKER_01]: The one she procured for me was pink. [SPEAKER_01]: It was delicate. [SPEAKER_01]: It was a very pale shade of pink. [SPEAKER_01]: It was beautiful. [SPEAKER_01]: The packaging was stunning. [SPEAKER_01]: The strap pink to match. [SPEAKER_01]: It was a girl's girl, bulgeck. [SPEAKER_01]: What it also had was like holes in it. [SPEAKER_01]: because I guess breathing is a problem when sporting one of these pieces of equipment. [SPEAKER_01]: So there's like holes in it so that you can breathe through your mouth. [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, how fucking thoughtful is this?

58:31 [SPEAKER_01]: This is freaking, just, I'm amazed. [SPEAKER_01]: She could have picked any old ballgame. [SPEAKER_01]: She could have gone to the store and picked any old ballgame. [SPEAKER_01]: No, she brought one. [SPEAKER_01]: That was Dinty. [SPEAKER_01]: She bought one that was aesthetically pleasing. [SPEAKER_01]: She bought one that was functional. [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I haven't unsealed it still in its plastic, like there's a plastic film around the box. [SPEAKER_01]: I have not opened it. [SPEAKER_01]: but I bet you that it's also probably smaller than a traditional one because Lord knows I have a small jaw and this open jaw can only go so far.

59:12 [SPEAKER_01]: So I was like, when I really processed it, this was a very thoughtful gift. [SPEAKER_01]: And it made me chuckle, and everybody knows I love a good chuckle. [SPEAKER_01]: So, if this gives you any clarity, on what you can do for your spouse, and what you can do for your significant other, follow the ball gag metrics. [SPEAKER_01]: Is it functional? [SPEAKER_01]: Is it tailored to them? [SPEAKER_01]: Is it tailored to their taste? [SPEAKER_01]: Is it useful?

59:52 [SPEAKER_01]: Would it bring them joy? [SPEAKER_01]: I think you should have that in your mind. [SPEAKER_01]: Don't go into the store and just buy the standard bulk egg. [SPEAKER_01]: Buy the custom one. [SPEAKER_01]: That's the vibes I want you to go into Valentine's Day shopping. [SPEAKER_01]: If the standard is what you lean towards, go up two shelves up. [SPEAKER_01]: That's the point. [SPEAKER_01]: If you're gonna go, if your first instinct is the bare minimum, what is two notches above that? [SPEAKER_01]: And do that, put a little extra effort, put a little extra thought into it.

1:00:34 [SPEAKER_01]: And remember, she might need to breathe through the ball gag, look at it attributes. [SPEAKER_01]: Look at whatever the gifts attributes are. [SPEAKER_01]: and make sure is appropriate for your person. [SPEAKER_01]: And with that, I think that's useful enough. [SPEAKER_01]: Did I make it to the hour? [SPEAKER_01]: No, I don't think I did. [SPEAKER_01]: But I think the seven extra minutes were worth it because seven minutes in heaven is better than no minutes in heaven and we can all agree. [SPEAKER_01]: that this bit of wisdom was well worth the weight. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm three for four on the hour. [SPEAKER_01]: I think you should come back next time where I might tell another story about something else that doesn't matter.

1:01:17 [SPEAKER_01]: This has been Sheetle Weapon. [SPEAKER_01]: Hell, see you next time. [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for hanging out with us today. [SPEAKER_01]: If you love this episode, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss what's coming next. [SPEAKER_01]: And hey, share it with your friends, share it with family. [SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, stay bold, stay real, peace out, dooses and keep speaking your mind. [SPEAKER_01]: See you soon.