Fitness, Feels, and Finding Joy

0:00 [SPEAKER_01]: We all have that one friend, the one who says exactly what's on their mind, no matter what, and that's Sheedle Mars. [SPEAKER_00]: That's right, every week my friends and I dive into whatever's on my mind, sports, politics, pop culture, even my own struggles, you name it. [SPEAKER_00]: If I'm thinking about it, we're talking about it. [SPEAKER_01]: Unfiltered, unapologetic, and just a little dangerous. [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome welcome. [SPEAKER_00]: This is Sheetle weapon if you didn't know because it's possible that you don't because otherwise why would you be here and I'm lethal sheetle [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't know who I am, I am Sheetle Mars.

0:50 [SPEAKER_00]: And I go by lethal Sheetle because I found out very late in life that it's a lot easier to help people pronounce my name if I rhyme it with something and someone told me lethal rhymes with Sheetle and that was just life changing. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm barely surviving. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how I get by day to day. [SPEAKER_00]: I really don't. [SPEAKER_00]: I really can't manage my own life. [SPEAKER_00]: And so the two most common questions I get asked is, how do you say your name? [SPEAKER_00]: Sheetle like lethal, lethal, sheetle. [SPEAKER_00]: And what is your podcast about? [SPEAKER_00]: And I always say nothing like sign-filled.

1:32 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a show about nothing. [SPEAKER_00]: But that's not really accurate. [SPEAKER_00]: It has a purpose to me. [SPEAKER_00]: It feels more like an audio diary. [SPEAKER_00]: And if you were my son, you would call it an audio diarrhea. [SPEAKER_00]: Audio diahondray, which is what he says. [SPEAKER_00]: And I started this, oh, I would say a year and a half ago. [SPEAKER_00]: with my brother and if you're wondering where Biggie Trog is, he's out there Biggie Trog in. [SPEAKER_00]: He is living his best life. [SPEAKER_00]: I am really, really proud of him. [SPEAKER_00]: I see him all the time. [SPEAKER_00]: We are besty besties and we'll always be, but I want to try to do this show by myself.

2:13 [SPEAKER_00]: And part of that reason is because I started this year and a half ago to help me process myself. [SPEAKER_00]: Help me figure out my reason for being, why am I here? [SPEAKER_00]: What am I doing? [SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't matter. [SPEAKER_00]: And most of the time, I'm not sure it does. [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't mean I'm in a bad place. [SPEAKER_00]: But maybe I can be doing more and maybe this will help me find passion, find purpose, find joy. [SPEAKER_00]: I have a lot of thoughts in my mind. [SPEAKER_00]: I've lived a lot of life in a very short period of time.

2:53 [SPEAKER_00]: I have come very close. [SPEAKER_00]: and intimate with my own mortality, more times than I can count, and I don't really think that's all that fun, a story, but it is the truth, and because of that, it has given me some perspective. [SPEAKER_00]: And so if Josh is going to listen to this later, he's my producer, and he would say, why should someone listen to you? [SPEAKER_00]: And I would say that in spite of myself, despite the fact that I can barely think, I'm not the fittest person. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not the smartest person. [SPEAKER_00]: I can't cure cancer. [SPEAKER_00]: That's a fact. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm never going to do that.

3:34 [SPEAKER_00]: But I do care a lot. [SPEAKER_00]: And I have a lot of experience. [SPEAKER_00]: And if I'm going to brag for a moment, I was CEO for a while. [SPEAKER_00]: And I did a really good job at that. [SPEAKER_00]: I have a couple of degrees, and my MBA, from Syracuse University, which I loved, I will say yes. [SPEAKER_00]: I fully enjoyed that experience. [SPEAKER_00]: I would think I'm educated, but that doesn't make me better than anybody, but I really love taking care of people. [SPEAKER_00]: I really love, [SPEAKER_00]: building people up. [SPEAKER_00]: And I often say, if there was something to describe me, I am a fierce advocate of people's dreams.

4:20 [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're listening, just to find comfort in yourself, you're in the right place. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not that good. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not that interesting. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just a regular person. [SPEAKER_00]: So I wouldn't [SPEAKER_00]: But certainly, I'm hoping that when you're done listening, you will feel better about yourself, which is why we listen to any kind of reality TV or listen to podcasts anyway, or like, oh, these people are messed up. [SPEAKER_00]: Watching Red Table Talk had to make everyone feel better about themselves, like, oh, that's rough.

5:02 [SPEAKER_00]: At least I'm not that happy. [SPEAKER_00]: So we have a new format last year. [SPEAKER_00]: I rambled on for hours and hours and hours because I was having really lively conversation with my brother and I enjoyed it. [SPEAKER_00]: It's, I find it difficult to end a conversation. [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm gonna try to stick to less than an hour and anybody that knows me thinks. [SPEAKER_00]: And we'll now and we'll say, this is not an attainable goal. [SPEAKER_00]: It takes at least an hour for me to make my point [SPEAKER_00]: So let's see if I do it. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm at five minutes now. [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna try. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm out here failing multiple times.

5:43 [SPEAKER_00]: Today's the third time is gonna be the charm. [SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna post it. [SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna be off-putting, but it's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: So I spent a few months. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't remember the last time I recorded an episode. [SPEAKER_00]: It was probably August or September. [SPEAKER_00]: And life really be life-in. [SPEAKER_00]: I went through a lot of stuff. [SPEAKER_00]: And so podcasting was something that I absolutely needed to do, but didn't do. [SPEAKER_00]: I think I would have processed all that was going on. [SPEAKER_00]: A lot better had I been doing the show. [SPEAKER_00]: And so, I'm gonna force myself to do this show, whether I like it or not, and whether you like it or not.

6:25 [SPEAKER_00]: Another good reason for doing this show is I get all my talking out, and then I do a lot less talking to everybody else, and they are all grateful for it. [SPEAKER_00]: They are all like, she thought that's a lot of words. [SPEAKER_00]: You should probably podcast more, so that we don't have to listen to those words. [SPEAKER_00]: No one can listen to those words, but at least you set them and everybody's happy. [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's a good idea. [SPEAKER_00]: So here we go. [SPEAKER_00]: Last year, I'll get to the point of this episode. [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, if I ever do, it's, we're getting there. [SPEAKER_00]: Last year, I made a resolution. [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we are 10 days in to the new year.

7:06 [SPEAKER_00]: You can set a resolution whenever you got damn pleased. [SPEAKER_00]: But last year, I said a resolution, not really in a formal way, not like, oh, at midnight, I want to have this New Year's resolution where I'm going to do this or that by the end of year. [SPEAKER_00]: It was really more about [SPEAKER_00]: I want to love myself more podcasting became part of that, but it was about centering myself more, it was about taking care of myself more. [SPEAKER_00]: I turned 40 last year and it became very clear to me that I didn't set myself as a priority at all. [SPEAKER_00]: in my own life, I was existing for everybody else.

7:47 [SPEAKER_00]: And that is my natural state. [SPEAKER_00]: I actually would prefer to exist for everybody else. [SPEAKER_00]: It's easier than existing for myself, because I don't really see that much value in myself. [SPEAKER_00]: But I see a lot of value in helping others. [SPEAKER_00]: So I do that. [SPEAKER_00]: And then I end up tweaking my back or hurt myself or getting sick. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's sort of where on you. [SPEAKER_00]: As you get older, you get a lot more tired. [SPEAKER_00]: And it becomes a lot harder to be about everybody else. [SPEAKER_00]: So if I wanted to keep doing what I love doing, which is taking care of people and loving people, I had to love myself for a little bit.

8:28 [SPEAKER_00]: And so the idea was, I'm gonna center myself. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go get my sages. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go get my back cracked. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go hang out with friends more. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go enjoy my life more. [SPEAKER_00]: And I actually did that. [SPEAKER_00]: What's really cool is I accomplished that. [SPEAKER_00]: It was a really good year for me doing better for me. [SPEAKER_00]: And I wish that for everybody. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I got to really be within my own head. [SPEAKER_00]: I got to really be within my own body and feel better all the way around. [SPEAKER_00]: In part of that journey was working out. [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody says a resolution. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to eat better.

9:08 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to work out more. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to drink less. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to really take care of my- This is my year. [SPEAKER_00]: New year, new me. [SPEAKER_00]: How are all my new year, new me people? [SPEAKER_00]: I hope you're doing really awesome. [SPEAKER_00]: I will be fully honest. [SPEAKER_00]: I am this, I am a less new me. [SPEAKER_00]: I am a very used me. [SPEAKER_00]: I am in, I'm not even gonna say excellent condition. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in decent condition. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in the book you buy for school because you have no other choice. [SPEAKER_00]: There, you can't get a better copy. [SPEAKER_00]: I've been dog-yared, I've been written in.

9:52 [SPEAKER_00]: It's questionable whether even all the pages are there. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm okay, condition. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not gonna say this is a new year, new me. [SPEAKER_00]: This is the same old me and everybody got used to it. [SPEAKER_00]: Ain't gonna get any better. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just gonna get shorter and saggy or lumpier and that's just the way it is. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's fine. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm okay with it, but I did start working out last May. [SPEAKER_00]: And some, I didn't think I did an episode about it before I fell off a cliff. [SPEAKER_00]: And they asked me day one, I went with my friend Catherine who is an amazing person and we were making drunk plans and she's like, I really want to go back to Orange Theory and she said She did it day after day for years and she was so fit and she felt really great about herself when she was doing it and then she had a baby and things changed and she's like, you know, I just want to work out more and we, you know, we're tipsy in her kitchen and [SPEAKER_00]: She's like, but I have no one to go with.

10:53 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, you know what, I want to work out. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know about Orange Theory. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know about having people see me work out. [SPEAKER_00]: I look like Phoebe running. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not awesome. [SPEAKER_00]: I would hold people back. [SPEAKER_00]: And that was my biggest concern with going to work out with a person. [SPEAKER_00]: Is like, you're gonna do great. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna be like, ugh, I don't, it's not gonna, I'm gonna be lifting, [SPEAKER_00]: my own hand and finding it to be a struggle. [SPEAKER_00]: So I didn't want to hold her back and she's like, you're not going to hold me back. [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't work that way, just come. [SPEAKER_00]: And so the very next day, in the light of day, fully sober, I texted her and I said, hey, did you still want to work out together?

11:43 [SPEAKER_00]: And she goes, and I said to her, look, if it was drunk plans, included in drunk plans before, that was a new experience, I'm happy. [SPEAKER_00]: If it was just like, oh, those are just things we say, but we don't actually do. [SPEAKER_00]: I would have been cool with it. [SPEAKER_00]: But she actually said, no, I really do want to do this. [SPEAKER_00]: And we had set a thing where we were going to go and go to the gym and sign up and plan to take our first class, which was going to be that Saturday or the following Saturday. [SPEAKER_00]: We didn't end up going that day, but I did remind her like two days later, hey, why don't we go sign up and book our first class for Saturday and we did and over the summer we went together which I loved I adore her she is so damn powerful and because of her I would look over and be like, okay [SPEAKER_00]: She's powerful.

12:35 [SPEAKER_00]: She's doing it. [SPEAKER_00]: She's breaking a sweat and she's not quitting. [SPEAKER_00]: You can do this. [SPEAKER_00]: You can work out. [SPEAKER_00]: You can keep up. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to go at her pace. [SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to be as fast as her. [SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to be as strong as her. [SPEAKER_00]: But you don't have to be. [SPEAKER_00]: You just have to be here and be supportive of her and yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: You can love yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: So I walk in. [SPEAKER_00]: And the very first day, the guy, the coach, his name is Tyler, awesome coach, saying, obviously, you can go visit him. [SPEAKER_00]: He's really energetic. [SPEAKER_00]: You'd love it. [SPEAKER_00]: He asked me, okay, so what's your goals? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, are you here to lose weight? [SPEAKER_00]: Are you here to work on something a particular body part?

13:16 [SPEAKER_00]: What work on your core? [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what are you trying to do? [SPEAKER_00]: and I looked at him like, I don't have calls. [SPEAKER_00]: That's funny. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm here because she's making me. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not here because this is going to get any better. [SPEAKER_00]: This body is what it is. [SPEAKER_00]: And I told him he's like, okay, but really what, like, what would you like to accomplish? [SPEAKER_00]: I said, you know, [SPEAKER_00]: I would love for my arm to stop jiggling when I'm done brushing my teeth. [SPEAKER_00]: I would like to not have to wait for the reverb to finish before I can put my arm down.

13:58 [SPEAKER_00]: And that was it! [SPEAKER_00]: That's enough. [SPEAKER_00]: I would like to do less hops to get in my own pants. [SPEAKER_00]: That would be awesome. [SPEAKER_00]: But other than that, I don't care. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't care if I lose weight, I don't care if I look at, like I'm married. [SPEAKER_00]: I've been married a long 13 years, been together 16 years. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to, I'm not trying to press nobody. [SPEAKER_00]: I've had a child, I don't need to be anything better than what this is. [SPEAKER_00]: I fully accept being 40, I'm gonna accept being 50, 60, 70. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't go from the window to the wall anymore.

14:40 [SPEAKER_00]: I go from the couch to the kitchen, and maybe from the kitchen to the front door, maybe to the car, or maybe from the car to the grocery store. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, they're very brief spurts of effort. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't drop it like it's hot. [SPEAKER_00]: I drop it like I expect the toilet seat to be cold. [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of hesitation. [SPEAKER_00]: Like getting down there is rough and I fully expect the once I do I may not get up or there's going to be a lot of noise There's going to be a lot and I'm okay with that [SPEAKER_00]: And so he laughed as they all do. [SPEAKER_00]: And I went in and I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna push myself.

15:23 [SPEAKER_00]: I just want to do this. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll just go and I ended up working out. [SPEAKER_00]: I actually really enjoy the orange theory process for a couple of reasons. [SPEAKER_00]: I like not having to figure out what I'm gonna do in the gym, like having to plan what leg day exercise. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm not gonna do that. [SPEAKER_00]: I like having someone tell me, hey, you need to do three sets of this, of this move with this week. [SPEAKER_00]: And I really like the people. [SPEAKER_00]: There's some great people there. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's the benefit of a class like that. [SPEAKER_00]: If you go to a gym and you don't like being around the people that you're working out next to or you don't like the coach, you're not going to go. [SPEAKER_00]: So I go because I enjoy their company.

16:04 [SPEAKER_00]: I enjoy [SPEAKER_00]: hearing their voice, I enjoy their encouragement, so I keep going, but I'm not pushing myself, they think I am. [SPEAKER_00]: My heart rate gets really high and I hate telling people, especially my son who thinks that means I'm doing really good, that means I'm massively out of shape. [SPEAKER_00]: But they think I'm really pushing myself so that I don't come by me and say, hey, run harder. [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, live more. [SPEAKER_00]: No, because I'm in the red, I should sit my ass down. [SPEAKER_00]: Actually, most of the coaches look at me going, you really should do less. [SPEAKER_00]: And I agree, I should. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to, but I don't do a good job of it. [SPEAKER_00]: So after seven months, [SPEAKER_00]: I went, and I did what's called an in-body scan, and it's this machine, you stand on it, and it's a flat pad, and you put your arms out and you're holding this thing, and it's supposed to measure your body composition.

16:54 [SPEAKER_00]: How much of you is muscle and bone, and how much of you is fat? [SPEAKER_00]: And I laughed at the lady and I said, hey, is it gonna tell me what flavor of gelo I am? [SPEAKER_00]: And she goes, because I know I'm gelo, I jiggle. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm perfectly fine jiggling. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I get on the thing and like it doesn't matter, like it's just a baseline who cares. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even know if it's real or if it's a scam, by the way, I'm gonna say it's a scam just because I didn't like what it said, but it probably is real. [SPEAKER_00]: It's definitely real. [SPEAKER_00]: But I get them the thing, I stand there, and it definitely told me. [SPEAKER_00]: I thought I was gonna be orange gelo? [SPEAKER_00]: Definitely not green gelo. [SPEAKER_00]: This is not lemon lime.

17:35 [SPEAKER_00]: So I was expecting like orange gelo, and I definitely got red gelo. [SPEAKER_00]: For sure. [SPEAKER_00]: It was definitely red gelo. [SPEAKER_00]: It might have said that I am morbidly obese. [SPEAKER_00]: I saw it on the screen, it just said fat. [SPEAKER_00]: You're fat. [SPEAKER_00]: You're a lot of fat. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how you're living. [SPEAKER_00]: You're so fat. [SPEAKER_00]: It's what I saw. [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of like beeping and hey, we're going to send you your report. [SPEAKER_00]: And when I get the report in my email, it says fat, and that's all I'm interpreting. [SPEAKER_00]: It just says fat. [SPEAKER_00]: And I went, oh, I've been working out for seven months. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm still fat.

18:15 [SPEAKER_00]: And while that, a lot of people will be like, oh, but if you try harder, you could be less fat. [SPEAKER_00]: And I go, yes, I could, but that sounds like absolutely no fun. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I really want to look, living my life. [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't really want to do that. [SPEAKER_00]: So if fat is the way I'm going to be, then that's fine. [SPEAKER_00]: And so they, I come out in this month, they're doing what's called transformation challenge. [SPEAKER_00]: For all of us, new year, new me people. [SPEAKER_00]: Hey, here's where you're gonna start. [SPEAKER_00]: And in eight weeks, if you work out twice a week or three times a week, I forget how many you have to do.

19:00 [SPEAKER_00]: You can transform your body. [SPEAKER_00]: And I, and bless her heart. [SPEAKER_00]: She's young and cute and fit. [SPEAKER_00]: And she's talking to old lady, me, the old lady. [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, are you gonna sign up? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, let me think about it. [SPEAKER_00]: Take the class, come out. [SPEAKER_00]: She goes, okay, are you gonna sign up? [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, here's the thing. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to transform. [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't lost a single pound. [SPEAKER_00]: And I've been coming on average two to three times a week already. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not going to change. [SPEAKER_00]: This body is just going to body. [SPEAKER_00]: There's no oddity left in here.

19:43 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just body. [SPEAKER_00]: So if I don't transform, do I still get the t-shirt for doing the effort? [SPEAKER_00]: Or do I actually have to make my scan say that I'm not fat? [SPEAKER_00]: Because it's going to say I'm fat. [SPEAKER_00]: It's just going to be like I carry around 85 pounds of boobs. [SPEAKER_00]: That's all fat. [SPEAKER_00]: There's nothing that I'm going to do about it. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm not going to pay for the surgery to get rid of these things. [SPEAKER_00]: That's they just are. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm fat. [SPEAKER_00]: And if I don't gain any muscle, like how you're going to know, if I gain muscle, [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm still, does it count?

20:23 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I transformed? [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_00]: And so, do I still get the shirt? [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, I think there's some price. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if it's a shirt or something. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sure it's some kind of like license plate cover or something. [SPEAKER_00]: And she's like, yeah, I think you get whatever the end of the challenge is you'll get whatever the price isn't. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, all right, I'm in. [SPEAKER_00]: Just because I like free stuff. [SPEAKER_00]: But the truth is, it's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm good with not transforming. [SPEAKER_00]: And that kind of brings me to the point of today's episode, because it's a very fitness-heavy episode. [SPEAKER_00]: And new years we always think, like, I'm gonna think about my fitness. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's an apropos time to talk about this.

21:05 [SPEAKER_00]: But the point is, can we all normalize, going to the gym for the vibes? [SPEAKER_00]: I would like to go to the gym. [SPEAKER_00]: And wiggle and jiggle, and half-hazardly, as long as I don't hurt myself. [SPEAKER_00]: So I do appreciate when a coach [SPEAKER_00]: does help me not break my arm or my shoulder or hurt my back. [SPEAKER_00]: I really do, I like that part. [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't want to, I'll give you an example. [SPEAKER_00]: I probably could lift heavier weights and I think they know.

21:45 [SPEAKER_00]: They look at me, I can see it. [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, ugh, look at her. [SPEAKER_00]: Pickin' up the twels or the eights. [SPEAKER_00]: I've really loved the eights, the eights are fun. [SPEAKER_00]: And the truth is, I probably can pick up the heavy weights. [SPEAKER_00]: There's a big rack of weights with like up to 60 pounds or 75 pounds or whatever those dumbbells are. [SPEAKER_00]: And they're really heavy and you can go over there, it's really, that is sexist. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not the boy rack. [SPEAKER_00]: It's just a heavy weight rack. [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, 90% of the people that go over there are over the women. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's be real. [SPEAKER_00]: Their strongest fuck. [SPEAKER_00]: So it's not whatever that is. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, I just, that's internalized misogyny.

22:28 [SPEAKER_00]: I could go over there and I absolutely can pick up a 30 or 40 pound dumbbell and bring it over to my station and use it. [SPEAKER_00]: But there's a reason why I don't. [SPEAKER_00]: One, I know, and you're also telling it, but you can maximize your gates. [SPEAKER_00]: Shut up. [SPEAKER_00]: There's a reason why I dumped. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't like the way those dumbbells feel in my little handsies. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't like it. [SPEAKER_00]: It's metal, but once at the station up to the 15s are like silicone covered. [SPEAKER_00]: They fit my hand. [SPEAKER_00]: They're squishy. [SPEAKER_00]: I can put my whole hand around it. [SPEAKER_00]: And I have nails. [SPEAKER_00]: So I really want to like grip it.

23:09 [SPEAKER_00]: without having to worry about myself. [SPEAKER_00]: And if I go to the 20s, 25s, anything heavier, it's a pure metal, it's direct metal. [SPEAKER_00]: My skin is touching steel. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like got texture to it, like bumps, I guess that's for the grip. [SPEAKER_00]: And then the outer part, the dumbbell part, where the weight is. [SPEAKER_00]: It's like smooth, super, deeper, smooth. [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm all sweaty, as heavy, and my hands don't fit around it, and I find it just uncomfortable to hold. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so worried about my grip on the thing. [SPEAKER_00]: then I'm not really having good form.

23:49 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just don't like the way it feels in my hand. [SPEAKER_00]: So I don't go over there. [SPEAKER_00]: And I use my 12s, my 15s, honestly, when I started, I was using fives. [SPEAKER_00]: So when I laughed and say, I haven't changed at all. [SPEAKER_00]: I've worked out seven months and haven't changed at all. [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't lost any weight. [SPEAKER_00]: But I definitely changed, because I can lift, I can definitely hold the 35 pound dumbbell and do my dead lifts. [SPEAKER_00]: I can definitely do that. [SPEAKER_00]: I can definitely use the 15s and go overhead with them and do my triceps with them. [SPEAKER_00]: And I couldn't do that when I started. [SPEAKER_00]: I was using 5s and 8s, religiously.

24:31 [SPEAKER_00]: And lately, I can go heavier and I feel comfortable going heavier. [SPEAKER_00]: And so there's definitely progress. [SPEAKER_00]: And on top of that, oh, this is the biggest change. [SPEAKER_00]: The biggest change is that I can wear a thong underwear now. [SPEAKER_00]: And that might not seem like a big deal because it's just underwear and it is the least amount of fabric ever and I don't understand why it costs the same as all under other underwear. [SPEAKER_00]: But I would never, after I had my child, I would, I found a thong underwear to be like, [SPEAKER_00]: awful. [SPEAKER_00]: Just the world's worst experience. [SPEAKER_00]: If felt like my butt cheeks were trying to congeal as it smuggled the fabric into my penis.

25:15 [SPEAKER_00]: And if the imagery of that was disconcerting, understand that that is exactly how it felt to put one of those things on. [SPEAKER_00]: Like it just felt awful. [SPEAKER_00]: And I can say now, one, I wear, I like wearing the phones better to work out because it's [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't all bunch up under the tight fucking spandex of workout leggings, the whole body condom thing. [SPEAKER_00]: I have to squeeze my butt cheeks into and to just go work out. [SPEAKER_00]: But no, I have too much jigglyness to wear like joggers.

25:57 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need my ass cheeks popping up and down while I'm on the treadmill. [SPEAKER_00]: I need it contained. [SPEAKER_00]: So I wear the tight leggings. [SPEAKER_00]: and now I'm wearing thongs and the reason I can wear thongs now is because my butt cheeks lift and separate the way God intended and it's a miracle to miracle of life and I feel really good about myself and so I am changing my pants fit better that's awesome. [SPEAKER_00]: came to the idea that maybe it's okay to start where you start, do what you can do, and do what you like as long as you like it.

26:42 [SPEAKER_00]: And if you go to the gym and you just work out for funsies and you're consistent with that I've been doing it now, over seven months, seven and a half months, I've taken 80 [SPEAKER_00]: you actually do get better. [SPEAKER_00]: Like you feel better. [SPEAKER_00]: I feel better, my shoulder doesn't hurt nearly as much. [SPEAKER_00]: My back doesn't go out nearly as much. [SPEAKER_00]: I can carry this 85 pounds of boobs a lot more gracefully than I used to. [SPEAKER_00]: been nice and I thought, okay, you don't have to go there and get to the point where you want to throw up and only have protein shakes and maybe you can, maybe you don't have to transform your body overnight, maybe you don't have to transform your body in a couple of months, maybe you don't have to do it even in a year.

27:42 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's okay if it just happens gradually. [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like, especially since I've started working out, the more I watch these videos, very few of them are about actual fitness. [SPEAKER_00]: I would say 90% of them are fitness for aesthetics. [SPEAKER_00]: that they're teaching you how to work out to make your muscle look a certain way, not perform a certain way. [SPEAKER_00]: And they criticize you and tell you, oh, look at you holding onto the railings while you're on the treadmill or the stairmaster. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, look at you doing your bicep curls really fast.

28:26 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, look at you doing jumping jacks or don't do this exercise, do that exercise. [SPEAKER_00]: a one correct way to work out and this is the way and I'm the way you need I'm who you need to follow because I work out the correct way and I want to say all of that is bullshit like it's okay I don't think and I'll be fully honest I'm not sure how many people who are on fitness TikTok are actually fit [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, another pet peeve of me, if you're a fitness influencer for women. [SPEAKER_00]: only giving them fucking, include exercises.

29:06 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, there was a, I saw one video where a woman's like, hey, do these exercises. [SPEAKER_00]: This is a really good, total leg workout. [SPEAKER_00]: Total lower, I think she called it lower body circuit. [SPEAKER_00]: And this guy comes in and goes, are we trying to build groups or what? [SPEAKER_00]: None of these exercises will help you build your glutes. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, maybe you have other muscles. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe a girl has other muscles besides her ass. [SPEAKER_00]: And the idea that a girl should only be going to the gym to work out and build a fat ass.

29:49 [SPEAKER_00]: And she has no business doing anything else besides that. [SPEAKER_00]: is ridiculous to me. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so over it. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to build my glutes. [SPEAKER_00]: Leave my flat flabby ass alone. [SPEAKER_00]: My glutes are there. [SPEAKER_00]: As long as it can lift me up at a bed, it's doing just fine. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need it to stick out. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need it to be a shelf. [SPEAKER_00]: It's fine. [SPEAKER_00]: But I went back and I was thinking about [SPEAKER_00]: super duper mussely and it made me think of all of all the people I've ever known who work out six, seven days a week, do doubles, a morning, a night and I'm trying to remember the last time I saw them do a physically fit thing outside of the gym.

30:47 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, they can lift heavy in the gym, but can they do cool things or fun things outside of the gym? [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying this is everybody, but I would wager that a lot of people in the fitness community are neither healthy or fit, no matter how many muscles they show you. [SPEAKER_00]: And I would argue that if they're fully cut where you can see full definition of every muscle on their body, they're probably really sick. [SPEAKER_00]: or really sad, and not talking about the cancer way. [SPEAKER_00]: I think their body is actively fighting them. [SPEAKER_00]: I think that their mind is actively fighting them, and they feel like they need to do this to feel better about themselves.

31:33 [SPEAKER_00]: And they can never cut themselves, cut their muscles the right way to feel better about themselves, so they just keep doing it. [SPEAKER_00]: It's a weird body to this more-feet-a-tempo thing. [SPEAKER_00]: But I also know, especially amongst that group that all they consume is protein, they don't brew carbs, they don't eat a balanced diet, so many of them have not had a solid bowel movement in years, so many of them just have mud but. [SPEAKER_00]: Like it's leaky, it's not okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't care how big your pecs are, your chest or your biceps or your lats. [SPEAKER_00]: if your butt be leaking like it's not you're not fit you're not healthy you're not okay dude like this I don't like none of this outward expression of muscle definition changes the fact that you have organs and bones and other things you have to take care of.

32:33 [SPEAKER_00]: And so it comes to the point where I would want to go, what does fit mean? [SPEAKER_00]: What does being fit mean? [SPEAKER_00]: What does it, what does healthy mean? [SPEAKER_00]: And the definition I'm going to give is that the demands you place on your body to do the things you need to do and want to do. [SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't feel like your organs, muscles, and bones [SPEAKER_00]: and you might meet Jesus imminently. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you can play with your kids. [SPEAKER_00]: Bring groceries in the house. [SPEAKER_00]: Walk across the parking lot without wondering if you need to eject your lunch.

33:18 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, after that, after meeting your daily goals, like figuring out a way where your back doesn't hurt all the time or your hip doesn't hurt all the time or even that your mind feels clearer. [SPEAKER_00]: Some of this is mental fitness too. [SPEAKER_00]: That after all of that, it's all bonus. [SPEAKER_00]: If you can go run a marathon and not wanna die, like bonus, awesome. [SPEAKER_00]: Because, yes, I'm so happy you can do that. [SPEAKER_00]: But chances are you're never really gonna have to run 26 miles to just do a thing. [SPEAKER_00]: If you can do a body weight pull-up, if you can deadlift your weight or even more than your weight.

34:05 [SPEAKER_00]: All of this is bonus. [SPEAKER_00]: It's awesome. [SPEAKER_00]: I love it. [SPEAKER_00]: I love that you can do that. [SPEAKER_00]: I love that you're proud of it. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna do the things I need to do to be able to do that. [SPEAKER_00]: But for you, I love it for you. [SPEAKER_00]: I love fitness, that level of fitness, if that's what you want for you. [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't need to have it for me. [SPEAKER_00]: in order to be valid. [SPEAKER_00]: Like I don't, it's okay if I can't lift my own body weight up over a bar. [SPEAKER_00]: My God, I'm good with it. [SPEAKER_00]: And everybody else should be good. [SPEAKER_00]: You love that for you.

34:46 [SPEAKER_00]: I love you holding the squishy weights and being happy about it. [SPEAKER_00]: Love that for you, it's good, it's on brand. [SPEAKER_00]: See, that's the kind of positivity I need in my life. [SPEAKER_00]: And so I would say to you, if you're starting out and you're just starting on this workout journey or this fitness journey or whatever, it's okay to go to the gym and take up space. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to go for a run and take up space. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to go to Pilates or yoga or whatever and take up space and just do you boo. [SPEAKER_00]: Don't hurt yourself, definitely don't hurt yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: Don't over extend, form does matter.

35:29 [SPEAKER_00]: But aside from that, if you never pick up a dumbbell and you're just moving your body, that's fine. [SPEAKER_00]: If you're holding on, it's fine. [SPEAKER_00]: If you're lifting like, it's fine. [SPEAKER_00]: Just enjoy yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to just go to gym, break a set, have a little fun, and go home. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's, [SPEAKER_00]: I don't need every person who's dedicated their life to being in the gym, to criticize every other person who's going to the gym now. [SPEAKER_00]: Be happy for them. [SPEAKER_00]: They're here. [SPEAKER_00]: They're doing more activity than they've done at least in the last six months. [SPEAKER_00]: Be like, this is exciting. [SPEAKER_00]: I love all these people coming here and enjoying the facility.

36:10 [SPEAKER_00]: It's awesome. [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever is inconvenient for you, it's inconvenient for you. [SPEAKER_00]: There's lots of ways for you to work out. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's fine. [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody's paying the same rate to be there, and they're all paying for the same access. [SPEAKER_00]: They have just as much right to be there as you, comment down. [SPEAKER_00]: You're not that important. [SPEAKER_00]: The new form of the show is something stupid, something thoughtful, and then something useful. [SPEAKER_00]: And I've reached the useful part of the episode. [SPEAKER_00]: My tips on how to set a new year's resolution and how to think about your health and your wellbeing and how to have a little bit more grace.

36:59 [SPEAKER_00]: for yourself and others in this life because when you have grace for yourself and others you feel better about them but you also feel better about you and it's really hard being a brain that's mad all the time and angry all the time and having contempt for like it's really hard on the mind to have contempt for your fellow man all the time so calm it down take a breath it's not that serious [SPEAKER_00]: So step one, and making a new year's resolution. [SPEAKER_00]: Do not put numbers in your resolution. [SPEAKER_00]: Don't say you're going to read a hundred books when you've read none. [SPEAKER_00]: If you read 99 last year, OK, you can set up a new miracle goal.

37:43 [SPEAKER_00]: But if you're starting from zero, you're not all of a sudden a dramatically different person than you were last year. [SPEAKER_00]: You might be a better person, but you're not a different person. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe a more motivated person, but you're not a different person. [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're starting from zero, don't go and say, I'm gonna work out three times a week. [SPEAKER_00]: Because if you don't hit that three times a week, one week at a 52, you're gonna feel like a failure. [SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna probably stop.

38:24 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you can just say I want to work out more. [SPEAKER_00]: Same thing with reading or taking care of yourself, whatever it is. [SPEAKER_00]: If you set a numerical goal and you miss it. [SPEAKER_00]: Chances are you're gonna feel bad about you're gonna feel like a failure. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I didn't work out three times a week I didn't hit my goal, but if you said I want to work out more or I want to read more or I want to write more or I want to Do better at something than all better counts All of it Last year my goal was to Center myself more [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't center myself all the time.

39:09 [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't go on a meday, have one meday a week, or even one meday a month. [SPEAKER_00]: I was better about that. [SPEAKER_00]: And it feels better when you accomplish the goal that you go, okay, from here, this year, I can do even better than that. [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes the goal can be just maintenance. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it can be, I just want to maintain the gains I've reached. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to write the amount of things I want to write now. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to feel better in my career. [SPEAKER_00]: I want to keep my job. [SPEAKER_00]: That's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Having a new year's resolution to keep your job.

39:50 [SPEAKER_00]: is okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Like you don't have to have this idea that it has to be this massive faraway transformation that you have to be a drastically different person. [SPEAKER_00]: January 1, 2027, then you are January 1, 2026. [SPEAKER_00]: It's okay to just be a slightly better you. [SPEAKER_00]: It's better than nothing. [SPEAKER_00]: Because chances are if you're going to go and set that goal, you're not going to want to stick to it. [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're not going to want to do the things that you need to do to have that drastic a transformation in that short period of time. [SPEAKER_00]: And yes, a year is a very short period of time. [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of things happen in a year.

40:31 [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of things can change your mind. [SPEAKER_00]: Your priorities may shift. [SPEAKER_00]: easy to be completely different in a year. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you need to search yourself and say, who am I? [SPEAKER_00]: and what am I realistically capable of? [SPEAKER_00]: And some people will say, she though, shouldn't you say, fight for your dreams and shoot big and dream big dreams and aim high and whatever and you're really saying, hey, you might need to settle or compromise. [SPEAKER_00]: And it does sound like that, definitely does.

41:12 [SPEAKER_00]: I hear you. [SPEAKER_00]: And the way I kind of come to terms with my, maybe you should do less. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you should expect less from yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: Is I feel like, and the analogy I'm gonna make is trying to get straight days. [SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like sometimes, or setting new year's resolutions, it's like saying, I want to be, I'm an eighth grader. [SPEAKER_00]: And I wanna get straight days, [SPEAKER_00]: in college this year. [SPEAKER_00]: That's a really, you're an eighth grade. [SPEAKER_00]: How are you getting to college? [SPEAKER_00]: Are you going to college? [SPEAKER_00]: Did you get a G maybe? [SPEAKER_00]: We should try to get straight A's in eighth grade.

41:55 [SPEAKER_00]: And if we're getting F's, maybe we need to go for those straight A's from January to May so that we can end up with a C because we might not get the A. [SPEAKER_00]: Now, if we've done literally nothing, so it's not that I'm saying aim lower, I'm saying don't skip the steps, if you've never walked a day in your life. [SPEAKER_00]: Can you run a marathon by the end of the year? [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. [SPEAKER_00]: And if you love running, and you train, and you run before, great. [SPEAKER_00]: Love that goal, do it.

42:36 [SPEAKER_00]: It's achievable. [SPEAKER_00]: But if you hate running, and you don't even like walking, and you don't even like being outside. [SPEAKER_00]: And you know that about yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: You're not gonna stick with it. [SPEAKER_00]: if you don't get a good runner's high or you don't get a good feeling by taking a long walk outside that may not change and you might not run that marathon but maybe [SPEAKER_00]: If the goal is, hey, I really want to get outside more. [SPEAKER_00]: I really want to get some sun more. [SPEAKER_00]: What I've noticed, and I said this earlier with my own transformation, my own progress, is by doing something you might be able to do more than that.

43:18 [SPEAKER_00]: It's never too late to change your goals or upper goals or increase the intensity. [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I started in, I started working out in May, end of May. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's be clear. [SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't even beginning of May. [SPEAKER_00]: I started working out at the end of May for the first time in almost 10 years. [SPEAKER_00]: My goals were really, really low. [SPEAKER_00]: My expectations of myself were really, really low. [SPEAKER_00]: But I am going just because I enjoy it and I figured out how to stay consistent. [SPEAKER_00]: I am actually going two to three times a week. [SPEAKER_00]: That is a kind of goal I would have set myself. [SPEAKER_00]: The other thing I think was setting goals, especially in the fitness area, that are really, really lofty, is the chance of hurting yourself is really, really high.

44:03 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, if your birthday starts with a one. [SPEAKER_00]: If your birthday starts with a one, your fucking old man, you can't, you can, everybody can do everything. [SPEAKER_00]: But those knees be hurting. [SPEAKER_00]: That hip hurts, that back hurts. [SPEAKER_00]: You need to be mindful, there's a lot less lubrication in that body than they're used to be. [SPEAKER_00]: And you can't push it as hard as you think you could. [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter if you were a D1 athlete. [SPEAKER_00]: If you haven't been working out since 22 and you're 45 now, you can't work out the way you did when you were 22. [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to hurt yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's more important than anything.

44:43 [SPEAKER_00]: Is setting goals so that you can achieve them while not hurting yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: Because they know about it, you want to take care of you. [SPEAKER_00]: Nobody wants to deal with that. [SPEAKER_00]: It's a pain-ass. [SPEAKER_00]: So try to find a way to do this where you can maintain it and like it and love it. [SPEAKER_00]: Bring me the next thing is do the workouts you love and eat the foods or drink the drinks that love you back. [SPEAKER_00]: If you're doing things you hate, you're not going to stick with it. [SPEAKER_00]: I'll tell you this. [SPEAKER_00]: I have an absolute hatred for the Roe Machine.

45:27 [SPEAKER_00]: No self-respecting member of crew. [SPEAKER_00]: Whatever have me, Roe. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even care if it's a crisis situation. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't care if the person has no arms. [SPEAKER_00]: Anybody. [SPEAKER_00]: would row better than me. [SPEAKER_00]: They would do it with their teeth or their feet. [SPEAKER_00]: They would be like, shithole, you need to sit down, stop being in the way. [SPEAKER_00]: I've got this, and they would row with their little feet, and do a significantly better job than me. [SPEAKER_00]: I hate the rower. [SPEAKER_00]: The rower is part of the workouts at Orange Theory. [SPEAKER_00]: I very much phoned it in. [SPEAKER_00]: If the entire class was rowing, I would not go.

46:09 [SPEAKER_00]: For that matter, if the entire class was Zumba, or cycling, or underwater basket weaving, I wouldn't go. [SPEAKER_00]: I don't care what the health benefits are. [SPEAKER_00]: I won't go. [SPEAKER_00]: I hate it. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not doing it. [SPEAKER_00]: So I, the part that I really love, I love running. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm one of those few people that are a freaks of nature who gets run or tie, and I very much enjoy running. [SPEAKER_00]: And 10 minutes or 20 minutes, the class is running. [SPEAKER_00]: And 20 to 30 minutes is rowing and lifting. [SPEAKER_00]: I can put up with a few minutes of rowing because I like the, how I feel when I do, [SPEAKER_00]: the weights and I love running and that's how I've stuck with it.

46:59 [SPEAKER_00]: If this was yoga, I wouldn't go. [SPEAKER_00]: Like my husband prefers yoga. [SPEAKER_00]: He enjoys the stillness. [SPEAKER_00]: I think I would rather gouge my own eyes out than sit still. [SPEAKER_00]: for an hour or hold a pose for two-minute God help us all. [SPEAKER_00]: I could never do it. [SPEAKER_00]: I would hate it. [SPEAKER_00]: I would stop going. [SPEAKER_00]: So I do this. [SPEAKER_00]: So do the things that you love and don't worry about all the other assholes who think they know better than you. [SPEAKER_00]: Because doing anything is better than nothing and enjoy yourself life's short. [SPEAKER_00]: On the flip side, eat the foods that love you back. [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of foods I love.

47:41 [SPEAKER_00]: Pizza, pasta, burgers, spicy, there's a lot of food I love. [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sure everybody has those foods they love. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I love cheese. [SPEAKER_00]: But it constipates you. [SPEAKER_00]: You can't shit because you're eating cheese. [SPEAKER_00]: You understand that this food does not love you back. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's the same thing for whether you're on keto or no-carb, high-carb, high-fat if the food doesn't love you back, if you don't feel good in your body, if you're feeling fatigued, if you can't have a solid shit, and I cannot stress this enough, you need to have solid shit, it should be basically orgasmic.

48:22 [SPEAKER_00]: It should eject from your body and a civilized manner. [SPEAKER_00]: It should take one to two wipes maximum. [SPEAKER_00]: If that's not it. [SPEAKER_00]: If you're not shedding like that, you're probably eating food that doesn't love you back. [SPEAKER_00]: You need to consult a physician. [SPEAKER_00]: But I know plenty of people, like they're coming out of the bathroom is like an 18-wiper and now I need to go and fucking drain over this shit. [SPEAKER_00]: Can you please have some fiber? [SPEAKER_00]: Eat some goddamn Cheerios. [SPEAKER_00]: Is you need the fiber, stop it. [SPEAKER_00]: And fiber comes from carbs. [SPEAKER_00]: So stop it. [SPEAKER_00]: You need carbs for energy too.

49:04 [SPEAKER_00]: Stop it. [SPEAKER_00]: Eat better. [SPEAKER_00]: Do better. [SPEAKER_00]: And if it's that heart, like I understand like, oh, we want to look skinny and the way to look skinny is to not eat carbs. [SPEAKER_00]: You could still look skinny. [SPEAKER_00]: and be sick like you could really be hurting yourself and your hormones could be all a mess like if your hormones are still a mess and you're not eating carbs and you're doing this diet thing but everything still a mess and you still feel sick maybe that's not the right time for you eat the foods that love you back pay attention same thing with drinks same concept applies [SPEAKER_00]: Pay attention to your body, pay attention to how food moves through your body, pay attention to your energy levels, pay attention to how your mind functions, and recognize when your diet is serving you and when it's not.

49:58 [SPEAKER_00]: And if it's not and you don't give it shit, you're like, hey, I don't care if my bubbly weekend. [SPEAKER_00]: at least I look skinny and hot, and I'm happy about myself. [SPEAKER_00]: Then do you boo? [SPEAKER_00]: Just make sure that you can unclog your drain from all the wipes, and please be wiping. [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my God, there's so many people that don't know how to wipe their butts. [SPEAKER_00]: But please be wiping. [SPEAKER_00]: I had a whole talk with my son about that. [SPEAKER_00]: We wipe our butts for ourselves. [SPEAKER_00]: Not for another person. [SPEAKER_00]: That is just self-care. [SPEAKER_00]: Mandatory, self-care. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's hard to segue from that to the really important tip that I have, and I'm going to close it out with this with 55 minutes.

50:41 [SPEAKER_00]: Everybody should be so proud. [SPEAKER_00]: There should be applause. [SPEAKER_00]: Why do I not have an applause track? [SPEAKER_00]: That we need to work on that. [SPEAKER_00]: My last tip is about body positivity. [SPEAKER_00]: And I think we get this very wrong. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to be a thinner version of you. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to have a bigger butt. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to have different breasts. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to have sculpted pecks and muscles to be a valid version of you. [SPEAKER_00]: Your. [SPEAKER_00]: personhood is not measured by your pan size.

51:26 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think a lot of people, especially lately, because everybody's on fucking nose and thick, and especially all the people like, oh, the body positive, heavier people around those and thick, and they all lost this weight and feel really good about themselves and whatever, I guess they weren't so positive before. [SPEAKER_00]: They can love themselves as a person. [SPEAKER_00]: They can believe they are beautiful, and other people can believe they are beautiful. [SPEAKER_00]: At a size 20, I don't care what size they are. [SPEAKER_00]: They can also be beautiful at a size two. [SPEAKER_00]: It's to a size zero. [SPEAKER_00]: my thought on being body positive is not about you're not only body positive the positivity is I'm an equally valid person in society and the world regardless of the shape of my body and I can walk out in full pride for myself and really love myself and how I look and how I am at this [SPEAKER_00]: whether you're big or skinny, because there are people that don't love that they're skinny or how they look when they're really thin, so be positive about who you are.

52:42 [SPEAKER_00]: You got to love yourself first, you have to say you are worthwhile as you are. [SPEAKER_00]: You can take up space as you are. [SPEAKER_00]: Your opinions, your thoughts, your dreams, your desires, your loves, your hates, your wants, your needs are all valid. [SPEAKER_00]: Regardless of what you look like on the outside. [SPEAKER_00]: Now, when you go and try to be more fit, that's not making a better you. [SPEAKER_00]: You is already great. [SPEAKER_00]: You just feel better in the vessel you are being carried in.

53:26 [SPEAKER_00]: And we should do maintenance for this vessel, for this body that's carrying our mind and our soul and our spirit. [SPEAKER_00]: We should care about it. [SPEAKER_00]: We should want it to perform as best it possibly can perform. [SPEAKER_00]: That doesn't mean that you're a better person. [SPEAKER_00]: It might mean you're a happier person, it might mean you're a more capable person, it might mean you're a healthier person, but [SPEAKER_00]: The measure of your value comes from your spirit and your soul and your kindness and your willingness to love and support others and love and support yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: So you can be a really shitty person.

54:08 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, oh, I lost all this weight. [SPEAKER_00]: Now I'm gonna be an asshole. [SPEAKER_00]: That didn't make a better you. [SPEAKER_00]: It made a skinnier you, but it's also an asshole. [SPEAKER_00]: So I would try to avoid that, try to just love yourself and do what you need to do to feel better about being you, about how you are presenting yourself in the world. [SPEAKER_00]: And with that's the end of this episode, I did it. [SPEAKER_00]: I feel really accomplished and my son asked me [SPEAKER_00]: What was my New Year's resolution for this year, for 2020, six? [SPEAKER_00]: And it was to keep taking care of myself.

54:50 [SPEAKER_00]: To podcast again, get back to it no matter how hard it is, and how much I feel like I'm absolutely unhinged and delusional and assaulting people with my voice. [SPEAKER_00]: and to write more. [SPEAKER_00]: And I hope I do that. [SPEAKER_00]: So this has been Sheetle Weapon. [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't killed anything. [SPEAKER_00]: I haven't, I'm not out here doing great. [SPEAKER_00]: But I am doing something, and I think that's a good thing. [SPEAKER_00]: This is lethal Sheetle. [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for hanging out with us today. [SPEAKER_00]: If you love this episode, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss what's coming next. [SPEAKER_00]: And hey, share it with your friends, share it with your family.

55:31 [SPEAKER_00]: Until next time, stay bold, stay real, peace out, dooses, and keep speaking to your mind. [SPEAKER_00]: See you soon.