Does your relationship have what it takes to last?
A relationship could be considered to be a structure. And like any structure, its strength and durability is determined by its foundation. A strong foundation produces a strong, lasting relationship.
The strength and longevity/survivability of any structure – a building, a bridge, a statue, etc. – depends upon its structural integrity, which begins with its foundation or base. If its foundation/base is strong, a structure stands a good chance of lasting. And if the portion of the structure above the foundation begins to deteriorate, it can be repaired and refurbished effectively because the foundation is still there. If the foundation is weak or damaged, the structure above it is much more likely to degrade to the point of collapse – and become irreparable.
Many people believe that the base or foundation for relationships is love and affection, interests and values, wants and needs, etc. However, those things can – and often do – shift and change over time. Therefore, they really do not form a strong, lasting foundation for a relationship.
Also, while the locale or setting of a structure – e.g. a park, a cityscape, a waterfall, etc. – may enhance the appearance of the structure, it does not determine the strength and stability of the structure. While homes, offices, vacations, etc. may enhance the appearance and enjoyment of relationships, they do not produce strength and durability in relationships.
So what does?
PROMISES – making and fulfilling promises together. Promises are the foundation for every kind of relationship. In marriages the promises are called vows. In business they’re called contracts. In sports they’re called rules. In communities and societies they’re called laws. Promises are sometimes also called covenants, by-laws, agreements, etc.
Making promises establishes and shapes the structure of a relationship. Fulfilling the promises produces the strength and durability of the relationship. Failing to make and fulfill promises together results in the deterioration and eventual collapse of a relationship.
Just recently, we helped a couple move from hopelessness to harmony simply by assisting them in creating new promises in their relationship. Within 24 hours they broke one of the promises and immediately moved back from harmony to hopelessness.
Mastering the “art of promises” is essential to mastering the art of relationship. We have a whole lot to say about the power of making and fulfilling promises. And we look forward to sharing our discoveries with you in the future.
Wishing you a strong, lasting relationship,